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Here in the final week in our series on Sex “Re-framing our View,” I will focus on sex within marriage, taking a look at the Apostle Paul’s words from Ephesians 5:21-33. There will also be some extremely practical questions around sex for married couples at the end of each day. I encourage you to take a look at those and to work at them.Monday, June 3, 2019 - MutualityPrayFather, thank You for loving me and making me the way I am. Amen.ReadEphesians 5:21ReflectHealthy sex in marriage is connected to mutuality. A healthy marriage should have the attributes of love, respect and commitment, both to the Lord and to one another.The word “submit” that is used in this verse comes from the Greek word hupotasso, which is a combination of two words, hupo and tasso.Tasso means to “put in order” or “to appoint.” Hupo means “under.” So, literally it means “to appoint one’s self” or “to put in order underneath something.”RespondWhat does a healthy, mutual, submissive marriage look like?Why do you think these are Paul’s instructions that he begins the entire stanza with?Why do you think this verse is often left out, when ironically in the Greek, verses 21-24 are all the same sentence, not divided up at all?Questions for married couples:What kind of marriage do you have?Does it involve mutual submission, one to the other, or is one spouse more dominating of the other?What do you desire your marriage to look like? One as Paul describes in Ephesians 5:21 or something else?Tuesday, June 4, 2019 - WivesPrayFather, as a wife, help me to be more committed. As a husband, help me to be understanding and patient, and as a friend, help me to be an encourager. Amen.ReadEphesians 5:22-24ReflectMake a list of everything Paul tells a wife to do.Paul says that the husband is the “head” which is the Greek word kephale, which can be translated as “over” or “source.”ReadGenesis 2:21-22ReflectIf we read kephale as “source,” then as Genesis 2:21-22 tells us, that man is the “source” where woman came from, as well as Christ is the source of the church.What do you think kephale means?Wives, submit to your husbands.Submission all depends on mutual submission; as Paul stated in Ephesians 5:21 we must start with this. Paul is not speaking about blind submission, but about mutual relationship. Women are not subordinate or subservient to men. However, they’ve been created this way by a patriarchal society that has dominated women and attempted to put them in a “lower position” and place. Why do you think this is?Wives, how do you think you’re doing in this area of loving your husbands?Can you see how radical Paul’s teachings are here, elevating women?RespondQuestions for married couples - “You and Me” questions to get to know one another:What I like about you is . . .What puzzles me about you is . . .I love it when you . . .I feel uncomfortable with you when you . . .Our physical involvement makes me feel . . .I feel sexual sensations when . . .When I fantasize about sex I picture . . .What turns me on is . . .What turns me off is . . .What I think you need to know about me is . . .When I imagine having sex with you I feel . . .Wednesday, June 5, 2019 - HusbandsPrayLord, help me to be a better husband. Father, I pray for husbands I know. May they love their wives. Amen.ReadEphesians 5:25-30RespondMake a list of everything husbands are to do for their wives. You will notice this list is much long than what a wife is to do for her husband. Why do you think that is?Holy and clean, washed by the word. The word used here in Greek is rema. It’s used in Ephesians 6:17 as the “word of God.” so we’ll go with that.“Wash clean” comes from Ezekiel 16:1-14 (which we’ll look at tomorrow). What do you think it means to keep a wife holy and clean? What does “washed by the word” mean?How can you do these things, and how can you do them better?Why is Paul using Jesus as a prime example with both husbands and wives on how to treat one another?RespondQuestions for married couples:Sexual patterns: How often do you feel the urge to be close or touched for sexual arousal?Initiation: How do you express the sexual desire you have to one another? When you act on the desire of each other, who initiates? Is it mutual?What about your partner’s response to his or her sexual desire? What part of your partner’s response to his or her sexual desire would you like to change?Thursday, June 6, 2019 - IsraelPrayGod, thanks for loving me. Amen.ReadEzekiel 16:1-14ReflectContext is everything! Ezekiel is speaking to the Hebrew people in exile in Babylon.Summarize this imagery in your own words.What does this passage say about the character of God?If this is where Paul is pulling the examples for husbands to love wives, what else can we learn here?Husbands, how do you think you’re doing in loving your wife, according to Ezekiel and Paul?Wives, how is your husband doing? RespondQuestions for married couples:In what way do you feel encouraged or pleasured in your sexual encounters with one another? Describe what feels good and what you prefer sexually.Do you experience discomfort, guilt or inhibitions when you are engaged in sex or physical touching with one another? Attempt to articulate that to the other.What kind of touching is most pleasurable to you?Are you aware of any restrictions you have in allowing yourself sexual pleasure, other than the decisions you have made to limit during sexual experiences?Friday, June 7, 2019 – A final notePrayGod, as I finish this study on sex, help me to continue to trust You in this area of my life, regardless of where I’m at in it. Amen.ReadEphesians 5:31-33ReflectPaul wraps up this passage with some familiar scripture, Genesis 2:24. Why do you think he keeps referring to other Old Testament passages?Why does he call all of this “a great mystery?”Paul ends with love and respect. What does he mean that a man is to love is wife as he loves himself?A wife must respect her husband. The word “respect” comes from the Greek word fovos, which means “to have fear or reverence for.” What do you think it means for a wife “to have fear or reverence for” her husband?Husbands and wives, rate yourselves on how you feel like you are loving one another. How do you think you can grow and improve in this area? Spend some time praying together.RespondQuestions for married couples:What expectations do you have of each other, generally and sexually? Take time to list ten expectations you have for your spouse. Then, across from each expectation, identify how you would be affected if your spouse did not fulfill these expectations.Be patient with one another. Continue to communicate with one another and understand that sex does not take care of itself. It must be tended to like any other part of your relationship.I will continue to pray for you as married couples in this area of sex.Pastor Jimmy ................
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