Day #1-



Character ( Theodore Jaroldeen Marley (T) – He’s a really old person. He walks very slowly with a walker, and has a lot of back problems. He has a lot of trouble hearing everything, and often brings up a lot of stories about “the past” which may or may not be true.

Day #1-

Lesson- Our Father in Heaven-Trinity

[The leader doing the skits with Theodore comes on stage and begins teaching the Lord’s prayer]

Alright everyone. I’m going to teach you the Lord’s prayer. The first part is-

[music starts playing (if we have some)]

T- Huh? Who said that? What is this place?

Uhh… hello…?

T- What… what are you young wiper snappers doing over here!?

Uh. Hi. I’m sorry, but who are you?

T- Who am I? The name’s Theodore Jaroldeen Marley, young man/lady. [starts inspecting the mic] What the blazes is this contraption?

That’s a microphone.

T- A what?

A microphone. It’s a device that makes your voice louder. Where did you get that?

T- Oh! That’s how you kids are makin’ all the ruckus! There I was in peace and quiet and you all start yellin all over the place.

Oh, I’m really sorry.

T- You should be! What are you doing, anyway?

I’m teaching the kids about the Lord’s prayer.

T- What? The gourd’s what?

The Lord’s prayer.

T- “The poor mayor”?

[louder, but not yelling.] No. The Lord’s prayer! The Lord’s prayer is an example of prayer that Jesus taught us. It shows generally how we should talk to God. For instance, it starts out by saying, “Our Father In Heaven…” We can look at this and see that we shouldn’t talk to God as if He’s some sort of distant thing in the sky, but actually, when we talk to Him, it should be as a child talks to their dad. Do you understand?

T- Hmmmm…. “Don’t bother twin Kevin”? That doesn’t even make sense, youngin. I don’t have a twin Kevin... Haven’t even talked to Kevin for over fifteen years.

No: “Our father, in Heaven.” You know what? Maybe if we play the Lord’s Prayer song, it’ll help you learn. Do you think that’ll help?

T- [Confused] “The snore pa-tator”?

Okay. Let’s do the song.

[The leader gets the kids up and begins teaching the song. Theodore tries to follow along at the beginning, but is obviously struggling because of his back problems. However, as soon as the music actually starts, he starts dancing completely normally and crazily. The second after the music stops, Theodore becomes old and fragile again, and the leader notices that he’d been dancing normally]

Wait a second?! How were you doing that?!

T- Huh? What?

How were you dancing like that… I mean… I thought-

T- Huh? What?

Oh… forget it.

T- You know what? I haven’t had this much fun since before the Great Depression. Can I come back next week?

Sure! That would be great. Everybody say goodbye to Theodore!

Day #2 (normal version)-

Lesson- Hallowed be Your Name.

[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]

Oh. Hi, Theodore.

T- Huh? What? Where am I?

You’re in Crosstown again. Remember last week?

T- Last… oh yeah. With all of you loud young wiper snappers. How could I forget?

Well, you came just in time for our next lesson on the Lord’s prayer.

T- “The smore flavor”?

No. The Lord’s prayer. Today we’re going to teach the kids the second half: “Hallowed be your name”

T- What? I don’t get it? Why is the hollow tree afraid?

“Hollow tree”? Oh, no. It’s “Hallowed be!”

T- Hallowed?

Yeah.

T- What the blazes does “hallowed” mean?

Well, it means… uh… actually, I’m not sure. Here, let me check my Smartphone.

[pulls out smart phone and starts playing with it.]

T- What!? What on earth is that?!

Oh, this is my Smartphone.

T-[Confused] “Smart phone”?

Yeah… uh… It’s basically a cell phone that has a lot of special other features.

T- [still confused] “Cell phone”?

You don’t know what a cell phone is? Well… its… uh… it’s a telephone that you don’t need to plug into the wall to get it to work.

T- [still confused] “Telephone”?

What? You don’t know what a telephone is?! Oh my goodness! …Well, it’s a device that allows you to talk with somebody over a really long distance.

T- A telephone, eh? When I was your age, we didn’t have any contraptions like that. If we wanted to talk, we would use smoke signals. I remember this one time, it was the middle of the harshest winter in the Midwest, and-

Here we go. According to my Smartphone, the word “Hallowed” means: “Set apart as holy or sacred, sanctified, consecrated; honored greatly, revered.” Oh! That makes sense. Basically, by saying this, Jesus is teaching us that we should always remember that God should be honored and respected. We shouldn’t treat Him just as another part of our day, because He’s special. He deserves the best.

T- When I was a young lad, I had to hike up a mountain to learn what a word means. The whole trip took over fifteen years! And we didn’t even have any food or water!

Hey, why don’t we sing the song again to help us remember this?

T- Remember what? That the hollow tree is afraid? I remember that.

Uh, no. Let’s play the music.

[the song plays. Once again, as soon as it does, he dances like a normal person, but the second it ends, he’s back to acting old.]

Seriously, how can you dance like that? I mean, how do you do that?

T- Do what?

Dance.

T- Pants?

Dance!

T- Dance. I haven’t danced in over fifteen years. I remember this one time in the African Savannah, I went-

Alright, everybody say bye to Theodore!

Day #2 (1st skit version)-

Lesson- Hallowed be Your Name.

[The leader doing the skits with Theodore comes on stage and begins teaching the Lord’s prayer]

Alright everyone. I’m going to teach you the Lord’s prayer. Today, we’re learning about the part-

[music starts playing (if we have some)]

T- Huh? Who said that? What is this place?

Uhh… hello…?

T- What… what are you young wiper snappers doing over here!?

Uh. Hi. I’m sorry, but who are you?

T- Who am I? The name’s Theodore Jaroldeen Marley, young man/lady. [Starts inspecting the mic.] What the blazes is this contraption?

That’s a microphone.

T- A what?

A microphone. It’s a device that makes your voice louder. Where did you get that?

T- Oh! That’s how you kids are makin’ all the ruckus! There I was in peace and quiet and you all start yellin’ all over the place.

Oh, I’m really sorry.

T- You should be! What are you doing, anyway?

I’m teaching the kids about the Lord’s Prayer.

T- What? The gourd’s what?

The Lord’s Prayer.

T- “The poor mayor”?

[Louder, but not yelling.] No. The Lord’s Prayer! The Lord’s Prayer is an example of prayer that Jesus taught us. It shows generally how we should talk to God. Last week we learned about the first part “Our father in heaven”, and today we’re learning about the second part, “Hallowed be your name”.

T- What? I don’t get it? Why is the hollow tree afraid?

“Hollow tree”? Oh, no. It’s “Hallowed be!”

T- Hallowed?

Yeah.

T- What the blazes does “hallowed” mean?

Well, it means… uh… actually, I’m not sure. Here, let me check my Smartphone.

[Pulls out smart phone and starts playing with it.]

T- What!? What on earth is that?!

Oh, this is my Smartphone.

T-[Confused] “Smart phone”?

Yeah… uh… It’s basically a cell phone that has a lot of special other features.

T- [Still confused] “Cell phone”?

You don’t know what a cell phone is? Well… it’s… uh… it’s a telephone that you don’t need to plug into the wall to get it to work.

T- [Still confused] “Telephone”?

What? You don’t know what a telephone is?! Oh my goodness! …Well, it’s a device that allows you to talk with somebody over a really long distance.

T- A telephone, eh? When I was your age, we didn’t have any contraptions like that. If we wanted to talk, we would use smoke signals. I remember this one time, it was the middle of the harshest winter in the Midwest, and-

Here we go. According to my Smartphone, the word “Hallowed” means: “Set apart as holy or sacred, sanctified, consecrated; honored greatly, revered.” Oh! That makes sense. It kind of means “Special; not ordinary” Basically, by saying this, Jesus is teaching us that we should always remember that God should be honored and respected. We shouldn’t treat Him just as another part of our day, because He’s special. He deserves the best.

T- When I was a young lad, I had to hike up a mountain to learn what a word means. The whole trip took over fifteen years! And we didn’t even have any food or water!

Hey, why don’t we sing the song again to help us remember this?

T- Remember what? That the hollow tree is afraid? I remember that.

Uh, no. Let’s play the music.

[The leader gets the kids up and begins teaching the song. Theodore tries to follow along at the beginning, but is obviously struggling because of his back problems. However, as soon as the music actually starts, he starts dancing completely normally and crazily. The second after the music stops, Theodore becomes old and fragile again, and the leader notices that he’d been dancing normally]

Wait a second?! How were you doing that?!

T- Huh? What?

How were you dancing like that…? I mean… I thought-

T- Huh? What?

Oh… forget it.

T- You know what? I haven’t had this much fun since before the Great Depression. Can I come back next week?

Sure! That would be great. Everybody say goodbye to Theodore!

Day #3-

Lesson- Your kingdom come Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]

T- Hello, children. It’s great to be in “Lost ground”

Crosstown.

T- Crosstown!

Hi, Theodore. Today, we’re going to be talking about the next part of the Lord’s Prayer.

T- How dare you? It’s not good to ignore your mayor. You youngins have to obey the law! Don’t ignore the mayor; you have to listen to the government.

No. I said, “The Lord’s Prayer”, not “Ignore the mayor”. But actually, what you said ties in with today’s lesson. Today, we’re talking about the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says: “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

[Theodore is looking off, clearly not hearing him]

Theodore, did you hear me?

T- What? Oh year, of course. You said something about my twin Kevin again. Well I told ya, I haven’t talked to Kevin in thirty-three years! And another thing; he’s not even my twin!

No. “Heaven”, not “Kevin.” You see, Jesus is teaching us that we should recognize that God is king over everything: both Heaven and earth. Through this prayer, he’s saying that we should want to obey Him. To do what our king wants, so that his Kingdom will come on earth, just like it already is in heaven.

T- Kevin? Kevin is that you?

What?

T- Kevin, what are you talking about? [clearly talking to nobody] Stop yelling at me, Kevin! I told you already, we are not twins. Never will be.

Theodore, are you okay?

T- Where are you, Kevin? You better stop that yakin’ or I’ll stop it for you!

Oh my. Okay. Theodore, do you want to sing the song now?

T- “Ping pong”? I can’t play ping pong! Kevin can’t either.

Everybody stand up. Let’s sing!

[song plays, they dance, just like usually…]

I still don’t get how you can dance like that!

T- Owch! My back! I threw out my back.

Oh. Are you okay? [goes to help him]

T- What? Kevin? Don’t touch me Kevin!

No! It’s me!

T- Oh. Well thank you, young man/lady. You’re very kind, even though you talk too loudly.

You think I talk too loudly?

T- What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.

Nevermind. Everybody say bye!

Day #4

Lesson-Give us this day our daily bread

[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]

T- Hello, young wiper snappers. It is a fine day today, isn’t it.

Yes it is. How are you, Theodore? Are you ready to talk about the Lord’s prayer?

T- Meatloaf? You like meatloaf, too! Oh goodie. Meatloaf is my favorite.

“Meatloaf”? I said, “The Lord’s Prayer”! How did you hear the word “meatloaf”?

T- You know, just around fifty-two years ago, my twin Kevin and I ate meatloaf together. I love meatloaf.

Ew? Meatloaf is gross? How do you like meatloaf?

T- What do you mean, gross? Why would you talk about it if you didn’t like it?

No, I’m trying to talk about the Lord’s Prayer. Today’s lesson is “Give us this day our daily bread”.

T- So, you mean, give us meatloaf.

I said bread! Meatloaf isn’t bread. It’s….uh… I don’t know… meat bread…

T- So we’re getting meatloaf, eh?

No, we’re not getting meatloaf. In fact, it’s not actually talking about literal bread, either. Basically, saying “Give us today our daily bread” means “Give us all that we need.” Jesus is teaching us that we should ask God to supply our needs. If we need or want anything, we can just ask him for it. Isn’t that awesome?

T- Meatloaf?

No, not meatloaf! God gives us good things, not bad things like meatloaf.

T- I remember when they first invented meatloaf. It was a dark night, and all of the bears in the forest came out and tried to take us.

I think it’s time to sing the song.

T- We had to fight them off with our bare hands! They stared jumpin all over the place, and then I popped one in the nose, and-

Mr. Theodore. Are you ready to sing the song?

T- The what?

Sound guy, play the song.

[they dance, and again, he turns normal for the song, and becomes old again afterwards.]

You are a really good dancer.

T- What?

Dancer.

T- What?

Dancer.

T- Oh! Meatloaf.

No, not- *sigh* Forget it. Everybody say goodbye.

Day #5

Lesson-And forgive us our debts

[woohoo! Theodore comes out!]

T- Hello boys and girls. I have amazing news.

What is it, Theodore?

T- I don’t know. You might not believe me.

We’ll believe you. Just tell us.

T- Alright, well I just heard… that… uh… [pauses for an awkwardly long time] …what were we doing again?

Theodore, you had amazing news to tell us.

T- I did? Oh! I did! You see, kids, I just heard about this new invention they just made. They just created a carriage that doesn’t need a horse. It moves forward all by itself! I hear they call it, an “automobile”. That’s incredible. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I bet not!

You didn’t hear about cars yet? Oh my… Anyway; today’s lesson the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says “forgive us our debts”. [Theodore walks behind the leader, but they don’t notice him moving.] You see, each of us has “sinned” or done something wrong in our lives. When is says “forgive us our debts”, its saying, “forgive us for doing what’s wrong”. You see-

[leader takes a step backwards and hits into Theodore, and he falls over and hurts himself.]

T- Ouch! Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Oh! No!

[leader helps him up.]

Theodore, I’m so sorry!

T- Well, you should be. You crazy kids are reckless! Reckless!

Theodore, I did not mean to. Please forgive me.

T- Well… uh…

Please forgive me.

T- Forgive you? What do you mean? Did something happen?

Wait… you forgot…?

T- Did something bad happen? Oh no. I hope nothing bad happened! Is everything alright?

[turns to kids] I guess he forgot I did anything… Actually, this is kind of like God. Whenever we ask Him for forgiveness from our sin, he always forgets it. No matter how we’ve mess up in the past, God will always choose to forgive and forget. All we need to do is ask Him.

T- What’s going on? Where am I?

We should probably sing the song.

T- Oh, that reminds me! I have amazing news! It’s this new thing they call an “automobile”.

Theodore, you’ve already told us that.

T- What? What did you say?

Oh my. Let’s sing the song.

[Theodore and the leader dance]

Well, I guess Theodore has to leave again. Theodore, it really is great to have you here every week.

T- [standing with eyes closed making snoring noises]

Theodore? Are you okay… Theodore? [taps shoulder]

T- [Jolts awake] G7?

Theodore, you fell asleep.

T- Did somebody say G7? I have bingo! Where’s my prize.

Goodbye, Theodore.

Day #6

Lesson- as we forgive our debtors

[Comes in to music]

T- Hello young’ins.

Hi, Theodore. Today, the part of the Lord’s prayer we’re learning is “as we forgive our debtors.” Remember last week when-

T- What? Remember? I remember… I remember back during the war, the enemy surrounded us. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, they blew up our ice cream storehouses! Our ice cream spewed miles in all directions.

What are you talking about? What war?

T- THE war! It was difficult for our troops. They blew up our ice cream! For fifteen years we didn’t have any! We had to lick rocks at the end of traffic cones! THAT was our ice cream!

Ummm…? What does that-

T- Don’t you get it?! Because of them, our army had to go nineteen years without ice cream! Nineteen years!

“Nineteeen”? Didn’t you just say “fifteen” years.

T- That’s right. Twenty-three years of licking rocks instead of ice cream! That darn enemy. Someday I’ll get back at them!

Woah! Woah! Wait a second, Theodore. It’s been over nineteen… I mean, uh… twenty-three years. Isn’t it about time to forgive this, so called, “enemy”?

T- What, why would I ever forgive them? Because of them, I had to go twenty-five years without any chocolate cake….or was it cookies… maybe it was meatloaf…

Theodore. Today our lesson is about forgiving our “debtors”, or another way of saying that is, “people who’ve hurt us.” It sounds like you’re still mad at those people for destroying your dessert during the war. Well, Jesus tells us through the Lord’s prayer that we should forgive others when we pray to God. After all, God forgave us of a lot of really bad stuff! We should be able to forgive other people, right?

T- What? What did you say?

I said we should forgive.

T- I agree! They should pay for what they did to a poor old man like me!

No. You still aren’t getting it. Can we just sing the song?

[yeah. Same thing as usual]

I still can’t get over your dancing. So, did you learn anything?

T- Did they burn anything? Of course they did. That darn enemy. They burnt our ice cream storehouses!

Not “burn”: “Learn” Did you learn anything? Like, forgiving? How to forgive your enemies?

T-“Forgive”?

Yes: Forgive. Did you forgive your enemy?

T- Oh! Of course! Why didn’t you say so? I forgive them.

Really? That’s great!

T- I mean, after all: I never even liked lasagna. I didn’t mind that they blew it all up. Not at all! They could have blown up all the lasagna they wanted. I wouldn’t have cared.

Lasagna? Didn’t you say…? Forget it. Good job! I’m really proud of you. Everybody say goodbye to Theodore!

Day #7

Lesson- Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

Hey everyone! It’s time once again for Theodore and I to teach you about the Lord’s prayer. Today we’re… [looks around] Wait… where’s Theodore? He’s usually here by now. I better go find him.

[The leader goes behind the stage where Theodore usually comes out. At the same time, Theodore comes out another entrance.]

T- Huh? Where am I? [turns to kids] Can you kids point me to where the stage is. [waits for a second] Oh. That way? [Points to the Crosstown exit] Oh! Okay. Thank you.

[Theodore walks out the exit, and the leader walks back on stage]

He’s not back there. Where is he? Oh no, did he go out that way? Eh… oh well. He should be fine.

T- [from outside the room] Well I’ll be the elephant’s tail. That is a lot of stairs. I wonder if I could climb this. [waits a second, then makes noises like he’s falling down the stairs]

Oh no! I have to help him!

[Leader sprints out the exit, and they talk from outside the room]

Theodore! Are you okay.

T- Eh? Where am I?

You shouldn’t be climbing stairs like that.

[They walk back inside]

That was close. Now that Theodore is safe from those stairs, we can get on with our lesson. Today we’re talking about the part of the Lord’s Prayer where Jesus said, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”. Basically, it’s just asking for God to lead you towards good things and away from bad things; to protect us. Kind of like when I led Theodore away from those stairs; we all have “stairs” that will hurt us in life, and if we ask God, He will lead us away from those.

T- So what are we learning about today?

Theodore, I just said it.

T- What?

I just said the lesson.

T- The “crescent”?

No, today’s lesson on the Lord’s Prayer.

T- “Explore the stairs”? No way! I’ll fall again!

No. The “Lord’s Prayer”. Can we just sing the song?

T- What?

Sound guy, play it.

[they dance]

If you can dance like that, why can’t you go up stairs?

T- When I was your age, we didn’t have stairs. We threw rocks!

What does that-

T- Rocks!

But Theodore-

T- ROCKS!

Well, bye.

T- ROCKS!!!!!!

Day #8

Lesson-For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and ever and ever amen.

[Theodore comes out with a fly swatter and walks up to the leader who played Bee-bee and hits him/her on the head]

T- Gotcha!

Theodore, what are you doing?

T- Oh. I’m sorry. Back there I saw a giant bee! It was ginormous!

[Sarcastically] Yeah, I bet you did. Now come on and-

T- No, I’m serious. It was about the size of a person, and it was dancing a lot. I know I saw it.

Oh. I know what you’re talking about. You probably saw Bee-bee. Kids, do you remember Bee-bee?

T- I told ya. [turns to former Bee-bee] I’m sorry young man/woman. You look an awful lot like that giant bee. It’s a good thing I didn’t end up squashing you.

Alright, now that that’s settled, we can-

T- [slaps the leader with the fly swatter] Gotcha!

Ouch! Theodore, stop. It’s me!

T- Who?

It’s me, [insert name]!

T- Oh, I’m sorry.

Anyway, today’s lesson is “For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever and ever Amen.”

T- Hmm… “Four flies start to swing when they saw flowers and a canary named Kevin. Kevin’s my friend”? Is that what you said? Well that’s not very nice. My twin Kevin is not a canary.

What are you talking about?

T- You said, “Four flies start to swing when they saw flowers and a canary named Kevin. Kevin’s my friend”! See, I’m not crazy.

Uh. No. What I actually said was-

T- [slaps the leader with the fly swatter again four times while calling out the numbers] ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Stop! What are you doing?

T- I’m getting the four flies that started swinging when they saw my twin and-

I think that’s enough for one day [grabs fly swatter from him]. As I was saying, Today’s lesson is “For thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever amen.” The word “thine” is another way of saying “Yours”, so we’re saying “All kingdoms, power, and awesomeness belong to you, God.” Jesus ends His prayer by saying this to show us that this is the most important thing to remember. God had complete control, is the ultimate king, and is super cool. Does that make sense?

T- What? Something about “Kevin”? Do you mean my canary twin?

I think it’s time to sing the song.

[they dance]

Your dancing still amazes me.

T- [grabs the fly swatter] Well kids, I have to go. I will see you later. [Walks behind the stage] Well I’ll be the earthworm’s backbone: that’s a giant bee! Come here, bee! I’ve gotcha!!

Oh dear. Poor Bee-bee.

Day #9

Lesson- Review

T- Hello! It’s great to be here again.

Hey, Theodore.

T- So what are you kids learning today.

Actually, today we aren’t learning anything new. We’re reviewing the Lord’s Prayer.

T- The what?

*sigh* The Lord’s Prayer.

T- The “Lord’s Prayer”?

… [in shock] Uh… yeah. You got it right. The Lord’s Prayer.

T- Oh. So the thing that goes [really fast]

“Our Father in heaven hallowed be your name your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation, us deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever and ever Amen”?

[in absolute shock] What?!

T- You didn’t hear me. Young man/lady, you should really think about getting a hearing aid!

Wait, you knew the Lord’s Prayer this entire time?

T- Yes.

Why didn’t you say something earlier? I thought I had to teach it to you!

T- I didn’t hear you. You really should have spoken up.

Wow… okay then. Do you want to sing the song one last time?

[woohoo. They sing the song]

T- Well I’ll be the earthworm’s spine! Is that the last time we’re singing that song?

I guess so.

T- Oh darn. I haven’t felt this young in ages.

I’m gonna miss you, Theodore.

T- Yeah, I remember one time over sixty-two years ago, I was in a submarine under water. I was there for over eighty-three years! And then, a giant squid came and started shaking the ship. But then…

Theodore?

T- …the entire submarine started falling apart. This happened for almost thirty-three years. When I was your age, submarines didn’t have and torpedoes. We threw rocks. We stated-

Theodore?

T- Hmm? What? …anyway. We threw rocks for almost twenty-eight years, and then-

Isn’t it time for you to go?

T- Hmm? What? Uhh… where am I?

Everybody say goodbye to Theodore.

T- Oh yeah. Goodbye everybody.

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