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1000705-166895 Persuasive Speeches by Masters of the Art00 Persuasive Speeches by Masters of the Art-400053873500 (including some rhetorical threesomes)Barack Obama’s Victory SpeechEmploying Rhetorical ThreesomesIs there anyone out there who still doubts…? who still wonders…? who still questions…? then tonight is your answer.It’s the answer told by…It’s the answer spoken by…It’s the answer that led those who… to put their hands on the ark of history… (Christian imagery/symbolism)On this day……in this election……at this defining moment in our nation’s history…-4191016065500MLK: “I have a dream”… flames of withering injustice…I have a dream that one day…Let freedom ring…Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last.133985094932500Winston Churchill: “Now we are masters of our fate…”Powerful and Poetic Phrases:long arm of fatemy mother, whose memory I still cherish across the vale* of years… (*poetic = valley)to ourselves, to our children, to tormented humanityMussolini: a lackey, a serf, the merest utensil of his master’s willAn extended metaphor: wounds in the Nazi body: bitten deep, infected, festeringnot beyond our fate, not beyond our endurancein majesty, in justice and in peaceA Persuasive Knitting Text(by a teacher)You need a pastime that will fill you with purpose, pride and passion. You crave something that will fill your lonely nights, clothe your cold days and exercise your feckless fingers.Knitting! It’s warm, bright and cheerful.Give a sheep’s life meaning. Make yourself the best scarves in the street. Make your pregnant pal a blanket for the bump.Knit a sleeve for your favourite tree. Clothe the planet. Weave a world with your own hands.148145514160500Note: short sentences, alliteration, use of threesomes, hyperbolic language, e.g. weaving a world, clothing the planet, etc.2288951147650011459511476500759761739500-119199198211Write your own short persuasive text. Select an amusing, light-hearted topic (see below) OR choose one of your “philosophy of life” dot points. Then write 100 words as forcefully and convincingly as you can. Simple topic options: Why year eights need a common room | Why dogs are better friends than humans | How to improve our school environment | Why correct spelling doesn’t matter | Why bikes are better than cars | Why Facebook is inane, shallow and inherently foolish | Why laziness is a virtue | Why a parent should/shouldn’t send a child to our school…| Why Vegemite is essential to every Australian childhood…Try to use threesomes, repetition and rhetoric.Use short sentences that are punchy, pushy and powerful. Pop in some alliteration as well.00Write your own short persuasive text. Select an amusing, light-hearted topic (see below) OR choose one of your “philosophy of life” dot points. Then write 100 words as forcefully and convincingly as you can. Simple topic options: Why year eights need a common room | Why dogs are better friends than humans | How to improve our school environment | Why correct spelling doesn’t matter | Why bikes are better than cars | Why Facebook is inane, shallow and inherently foolish | Why laziness is a virtue | Why a parent should/shouldn’t send a child to our school…| Why Vegemite is essential to every Australian childhood…Try to use threesomes, repetition and rhetoric.Use short sentences that are punchy, pushy and powerful. Pop in some alliteration as well.Persuasive Text: Schools without Teachers(also by a teacher)Teachers have become obsolete.They’re mediocre, outmoded and dull. Their every utterance is trite, tired and tepid. They’re out of touch, out of the loop and out of time. -323857493000Do you want your children to be self-reliant and resourceful? If so, keep them away from teachers and their kind. Teachers will only restrain their brilliant, probing young minds. They’ll turn your offspring into fodder for the factories, not scientists and dreamers.Give your children a laptop, a wifi connection and a list of topics. Then let them loose on the digital world – and the real one.As for the teachers, sack them, superannuate them and wave them farewell. Society doesn’t need them anymore.Get rid of teachers and give your children a future.(Written by Ms Green. Standard disclaimer: Naturally I do not believe a word that I have written. If it weren’t for teachers and parents, students would devote their whole lives to playing computer games and shooting SnapChats off into the ether.)Alternative Persuasive TopicsHow best to annoy your parents (see below)Why lycra should be bannedHow to turn laziness into an art formWhy everyone should give up smartphonesHow to seem more intelligent than you really areWhy grades should be abolished for everWhy computer games increase your intelligenceWhy computer games turn you into a zombieWhy parents should stay off FacebookAnother ExampleMy parents have a low opinion of my talents, except in one respect. They tell me that I have a gift for annoying them. This is a skill that I have developed through years of dedicated application.Driving your parents round the bend is a talent, a pastime and an art. All teenagers should hone their skills, because a maddened parent is more likely to buckle, surrender the car keys and hand over a wad of money. Here are my best suggestions:First of all, your room should look and smell like a swamp, in which the lower layers are filled with old clothes, festering school lunches and unwashed plates. As soon as you receive a pile of new laundry, place it on top of the swamp. When your parents insist on taking you to your auntie’s birthday party, say you have nothing to wear.Secondly, never allow your parents to see your face without your smartphone in front of it. Cultivate a relationship with others through Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. As soon as your parents ask you to do something, hold up your hand for quiet, tell them that you are in the middle of something, or say that you need to charge your smartphone. Sooner or later, they’ll stop expecting anything from you. That’s exactly where you want them.Thirdly, treat your parents as though they are your landlord and landlady – with distant respect and personal indifference. This will send them to the brink of despair. Only the other day, I heard my father say to my mother: “He’s just like a lodger, except he doesn’t pay anything.”Which brings me to the central plank of my program: don’t get a job. Slob around in your track pants, play computer games, eat all the biscuits in the house, appear magically for meals, but, whatever you do, don’t look for a job. If you find one, you might be asked to contribute to the finances of the household.And when your mother, fed up with your attitude, asks you to contribute in some way, in any way, to the social and emotional life of the household, say to her: “I’m here, aren’t I?” Then withdraw with dignity and play on the computer for the next five hours, until she serves up dinner. ................
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