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Used Cars ???Smudge.

There is some form of law called the lemon law that gives you the ability to get your money back within 48 hours if a recently purchased car dies or falls apart on you. I don’t remember if its federal or state. Having a warantee is good too. If I am going to sell you a used car Smudge I will let you thoroughly inspect and test drive it. You have Carte Blanche at my dealership. Just don’t ask for anything absurd. Don’t return it without a motor.

. 34 days left till court.

I am going to school for nursing. I will write a book about nurses. Opiates and psych wards. Doctors shooting Dilaudid and criminals tricking the system to give them three years for murder.

I don’t have hallucinations. I see skewed meanings. I see Chevy commercials and I over personalize them . Thats a paranoid delusion. I don’t get psychotic. I just get ideas of reference. There is an element of paranoia but commonly it’s no more than the same paranoia you get from marijuana. My symptoms are manageable.

The same drugs that aliviate my paranoid moments make me fat. I plan on adding weight loss drugs to get back to a decent weight. The VA will pay for such drugs while the DHS will not. Belviq.

If I could shoot a Chevy commercial I would love to see a Deuce and a Half… That’s what kids call an Army Truck.. I drove a five ton 6x6 turbo diesel AMC General. A great ride. Not fast but substantial. Now I look at the Chevy 4x4 I had in school. I will probably end up with a Toyota or Subaru 4x4 but I really enjoyed having two fuel tanks on the ¾ ton Pick Up. It wasn’t a crew cab but it was heavy duty. Camper Special. Rusty.

Just getting a gig like veterans benefits can make other bums jealous. I remember when My old Friend JoEllen found out I had some good drugs. She was furious that I did not share them with her. She was heavy on revolutionary feminist interpretations of marriage and birth control….an odd woman to say the least. When she found out that I had a gig for free drugs she was mad.

Driving that big turbo-diesel makes one feel invincable. We are talking gallons per mile. Not economical for the charity mission but perhaps the memory touches the soul when I see the Chevy commercial. Possibly one day I will be able buy a truck like that at an Army surplus auction. Want to do some four wheeling??? No , I would rather do some six by six wheeling.

I am not psychotic. I have most of my mind intact. My paranoia is no worse than you would commonly find in recreational drug use. It is a small factor. I was involved in some violence in 1993 and some of that sort of thing is commonly found in domestic abuse courts. Men and abusive relationships commonly do the kind of crimes I did.

I have become a more global, seamless, operator. Now I am a professional. I cannot use the excuses a younger man would choose. I cannot be given the day of an amateur. Others need that sort of thing. I just don’t need excuses like that anymore. That’s kids stuff.

Here is one of the days when I tell you about the night that some marines stole two “five ton” trucks and went four-wheeling in the swamps of Camp LeJeune. They got one stuck, then the other one got stuck trying to get the first one out. Then they stole a wrecker five ton and got that one stuck too. Then they were about to steal a tracked vehicle called a “Tank Retriever”,,,,…. About then the General found out about it all and the shit hit the fan quick. OOPs….Yikes.

Dumpling Dearest I cannot create fifty thousand dollars in one nights work. At best I can write a book about nursing like Ken Keasy wrote about Randy McMurphy and the Nurse Ratchet in the Cukoos Nest. I doubt I can turn over fifty grand for such a work of art but when I do write it you can help. I would feel honored if you could help,,,… Think of it as a journal writing exercise…bring your best to the table and help create a great work of charity. Save the world…..

I realize I am not your first choice but you can tether your wagon to my five ton any day. Scars on forty five???

I never dreamed people could be so greedy. It’s amazing. I feel wide eyed wonder. Charity is the only response that makes sense but regretably you have to put forward a bowl of stew and a small carton of milk because you know that even food stamps get converted to whisky. The masses and multitudes. Huddled masses yearning to breath free.

Verdict

The summation speech delivered by Paul Newman in “The Verdict”

“Well, you know, so much of the time we are just lost. We say ‘please god, tell us what is right, tell us what is true.’

And there is no justice. The rich win, the poor are powerless.

We become tired of hearing people lie. And after a time we become dead. A little dead. We think of ourselves as victims, and we become victims.

We become weak. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our beliefs. We doubt our institutions, and we doubt the law but today you are the law.

You are the law. Not some book. Not the lawyers. Not a marble statue, not the trappings of the court. Those are just symbols of the desire to be just.

They are, they are in fact a prayer. A fervant and frightened prayer. In my religion they say ‘Act as if ye had faith. Faith will be given to you.’ If we are to have faith in justice we need only to believe in ourselves and act with justice.

You see I believe there is justice in our hearts.”

And of course Newman wins the case and the jury awards more than they were asked to award and the good guys win and it is a happy ending.

“Reunited?” Lennon/Ono “Starting Over” is there too. Smudge, I am going to bring this machine in for a landing in two months and its not needing to be pretty. I am going to need your rolodex to find the right people. See you then.

Smudge,,, my need for you is to help me find some people. That is all.

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