Hello,



IE – Spring 2020 – Self-Introductions & Hometown QuestionsRead the paragraphs below. Some of the errors have been explained in (brackets), and other errors have not. Can you correct and explain the errors in red?What errors did you make?How can you improve your paragraph?As always, these paragraphs have been proof-read for;Form(proper/single paragraph)Content(detailed/interesting paragraph / Is there anything missing or unnecessary?)Common Errors(capitalization, article use etc.)Week 2 - Emailed Homework ParagraphLee Jeong-Ran Hur Su-binKim yoojinHong Jung-minYeo?Seon-GuLee Seul-giBak Jeong-hwanShin Min-seoHan Sung-joonMina YooLee Sae-ranChoi Seo-young Choi?Si-eunKwan Dae-you Chae So-hyun Lee Jae-hyunSong Ha-jeong(X) word choice / capitalization / romanization / spelling / missing possessive pronoun/ preposition / modals (can, could, may…) / preposition error / count-non-count nouns /Hi, I'm Lee Jeong-Ran. I was born on april 27th, 1998 in Deajeon, so I'm twenty-three years old. Now I live in sejong with parents and two younger sister, where I was graduated middle school and high school. I love this city, since I have a lot of friends in here. When I feel boring, I can contact my friends and meet them, and enjoy eating tasty foods. Because of Corona, I can’t meet them recently. I really miss buddies. Now I concentrate in my major study in order to gain a high grade. My major is business. I learn about how to manage a company. In the department of business administration, I study accounting, marketing, financial affairs, trading, personnel management...and so on. I love my major, because business is so useful in many part of our life, and it makes me understanding many economic events. My favorite thing is listening various kinds of music. This help me come down, espacially in a stressful day. I recently listened to Strawberries & Cigarettes, Back In The Day, Tomorrow Tonight.( groups? Song titles?) I?like trip too. I traveled taiwan when I was high school, where lakes are so beautiful and delicious foods are everywhere, so this country is the most impressive place. My role model is Jong Wook Lee who was 6th WTO secretary general and korean doctor. Because he looked after many patients who contracted polio. I wanna be a person like him, so I try to do not afraid of challenge, and help other people who are in trouble.?Thank you for reading my self-introduction!(X) verb error / word choice / punctuations - ->“Title” / Self-IntroductionHur Su-bin?????????? Hello, my name is Hur Su-bin, and I am a sophomore majoring in English Studies at Korea University. Before entering the university, I lived in Seoul with my family, but now I live in Jochiwon alone. People think being alone might be bored. Thankfully, I have some of perfect?hobbies that make my time flies away. One (hobby) is to watch American miniseries in a row. Among them,?13 Reasons Why?is my favorite. The other hobby is to play with (do) puzzles. Putting all the pieces of the puzzles together is so fun, and makes me concentrate, even though my neck and back could be hurt a little. With these two activities, it is easy for me to spend time alone. However, I also have a hobby that requires some friends. Since I love dogs so much, I gather friends, and volunteer for (at) an animal shelter. I love not only dogs, also other animals too, so this year, I joined Korea University Social Service Organization to organize team for a voluntary work related to animals. As you see, I am almost crazy for animals, especially dogs. When they pass beside me, I cannot breathe because of their cuteness, and when I have a sudden eye contact with them, I just really need to punch someone to release my anger that is created by excessive happiness. (!!!!) For this reason, my goal is to live with a dog, and a cat together without fighting each other. This is my story for now. Thank you for reading.(X)) Paragraph form / capitalization /romanization / verb tense (present perfect not past) / comma error/ sentence fragments/ word choice / conjunctions (so, and , but- are best used to connect a clause as in a compound sentence)Hello, my name is Kim yoojin. I am 24 years old and majoring in media literary creation. My hometown is Gwangju. I lived in Gwangju until I was in high school, but I went to school in Seoul when I turned 20. I am currently living in Jochiwon. I liked to write since I was young and I dreamed of becoming a writer. So I’m trying to get a creative job. I want to work for a company that imports movies after graduation. Because I want to import many movies to Korea. There are so many great movies in the world, but I feel like there are few that can be seen in Korea. I hope many people can watch various movies. And I want to do anything else related to movies. Movies are a very important part of my life and I also want to work in that field.The first university I attended was an art college majoring in scenario(screenwriting?). So I am writing a scenario as well as a novel. I have to write my graduation work, but I don’t know what to write. Anyway, I have to finish it this year.This is the last year of college. So from now on, I will prepare for the future after graduation. Now I want to study English. Studying while reading books is not that difficult, but actually communication seems very difficult. But I will try to use English with confidence. This is about me. Thanks for reading it.?(X) – paragraph form / content what is your major? Goals?)Hello, my name is Hong Jung-min. I am twenty-one years old. I was born in Seoul and go to school in (from ??) Seoul by bus. (True? ) Because I like my house too much and I don't want to share a room with strangers. (sentence fragment) I live with my parents, older sister, and grandmother. I think I like home because it is so comfortable time to stay home with my family. I like to stay at home, so I got a new hobby during this vacation. It's a game. I fell in love with two games, and one is called Maple Story. Maple Story is a game that grows characters. During this vacation, I really liked the new character's skills, so I started to work hard to develop it. I found it interesting to make my character stronger and stronger with the money I collected from hunting. My goal is to continue to grow and grow to a higher level. The other is a game called Stardew Valley. I recently found out about this game, and I started it because people said it was fun. It's just a simple game of making money by farming, mining, and fishing. I didn't have a lot of fun, but I can’t stop playing game. I think it's fun to collect various crops and fish.So far, I talked about my hobby. I hope you get to know a little about me.I will put up a link related to the games mentioned above. If you are interested, please refer (word choice check it out.) to it.(X)- / romanization / preposition / capitalizationMy?Self-IntroductionHello,?my?name?is?Yeo?Seon-Gu.?I?am?twenty-?three?years?old.?I?live?in?Songpa-gu,?Seoul?with?my?parents.?I?have?no?siblings?since?I?am?the?only?son.?I?am?satisfied?with?it?because?I?get?a?lot?of?love?from?my?parents.?When?I?was?a?young?boy,?my?father?took?me?into?the?Jamsil?Baseball?Stadium.?I?was?fascinated?by?the?baseball?due?to?the?passion?of?the?players?after?watching?the?match (game –“match” is closer to British English ).?Watching?the?baseball?game?became?my?hobby?since?that?day.?I?am?also?studying?Sabermetrics?these?days?which?is?a?theory?that?analyzes?baseball?in?a?statistical?and?mathematical?way.?I?am?majoring?in?English?language?and?literature?in(at)?Korea?University.?There?are?many?lectures?that?can?(where I learn about) learn?about?an?alien?(other cultures) culture?in?my?department.This?field?is?related?to?my?career?in?the?future.?I?want?to?have?a?career?associated?with?the?baseball.?However,?I?am?not?talented?in?playing?the?baseball,?so?I?can’t?be?a?baseball?player.?That’s?why?I?want?to?become?a?simultaneous?interpreter.?I?want?to?help?foreign?players?not?only?for (with) ?the?language?but?also?adaptation?to?the (Korean) ?culture.?One?day,?I?hope?to?be?a?person?that?greatly?affects?to (helps?) ?my?baseball?team.?(X) – paragraph form / capitalization / word choice / romanization- spelling / conjunctions = sentence fragments / prepositions (listening to) / count/non-count noun (music) / missing comma / Hi. My name is Lee Seul-gi. Glad to see (meet) you.? I'm twenty-four years old, and I'm studying at Korea University now. My major is Korean language and literature, and I'm( in my) senior year. I'll graduate this summer.I? 'm living in Deajeon now. I was born in Deajeon, and I have lived here all my life. So I have friends in here, my families are living in here, and all my memory is in here. So I like walking around my home, or hang out with my old friends. ( rewrite - fragments/ verb form errors)) These are my hobbies. And I also like to spending time with myself, just like reading some novels, listening (to) my favorite musics, or watching movies. I especially like MARVEL movies. And these days, in particular, we can't go out because of the reason that all we know, so I spend lots of time at my home. Nowadays(,) I read some classic detective stories like Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie. These books are really fun. I enjoyed them.? But actually now, I truly hope that our hard time by(from) the virus will be over (in a ) hurry so that we can go out and enjoy our spring. So everyone, please stay healthy and take care of yourself.Thank you for reading. I hope to see you soon. (X) count-noncount nouns / word choice?Hello. I am Bak Jeong-hwan.?Alternative?Romanization of my?name,?which is used?in my passport, is Jungwhan Park. (How horrible!)(unneccesary)?I?was born in?Gimhae, Gyeongsangnam-do, a relatively populous and undoubtedly boring city near Busan.?As of 2020, my home?still?is in Gimhae, but I spend more time in my dorm room in Jochiwon-eup, Sejong-si than my actual home. I won’t call Jochiwon my home, but I do consider it influential since I am a sophomore?at?Korea University Sejong Campus, which is located at Jochiwon. Speaking of my university life, my major is English Studies. I chose that major due to a rather underwhelming reason of “I am good at English,?but?I want more.” Indeed, my major will allow me to hone my English further by?mending?the?two biggest weaknesses of my English: speaking and?understanding of?Anglophone cultures. I didn’t think about that?aspect?when I chose my major but considering?the fact that?I realized?that?Australians?have their own set of slangs ( noncount noun) only a few weeks ago,?it arguably is an urgent matter.?The story of how I realized the existence of Australian slangs is related to my gaming life, but that’s another story for another time because that would be far more incomprehensible. I could be for hours if I were to speak(write) everything about me (myself) , but let’s wrap up. It won’t be a nice experience to listen (read) to me talking about myself (me) for hours.(X) capitalization / punctuation / word choice / articlesTitle:?Shin Min-seo, living in 2020?Hi! My name is Shin Min-seo(,) and I am majoring English at Korea University. I graduated Sejong Global High School which is in Sejong. I studied international studies such as global issues and international law during (as a) high school student. I am interested in ‘Developing Countries’ Children’s Education and Health Problem’. (Why capitalized? Are these title of books?) In this regard, I visited Cambodia to do volunteer work when I was (in second year of) high school second grade. In addition, I organized (a) campaign for South Sudan children’s education when I was in 18. There are some reports that I wrote about those things. One of them(report) is about developing countries education and health problem(s) which I concatenated with UN SDGs goals. I want to work at (the) Ministry of Foreign Affairs and work at (the) UN in distant future. Therefore, after finishing my main major, I will do double major in International Studies. These days I am studying Spanish as a second language. I started learning Spanish when I was (in second year of )high school, second grade and now, I am studying it by myself. I am active and zippy (word choice error …full of energy / energetic? ) all the time so sometimes people around me could run out of steam but, this can oppositely affect people cheered.(word choice meaning is a little unclear…because you are so energetic, does this wear others out?) Though unlike what people usually think, I try to deliberate when handling things. These things can be both my strength and weakness. Every time when I make someone happy, that moment makes me happy, too. Thus, I like to make people feel happy(thesaurus….what is a synonym for “happy”?). For example, I like to do surprise party(ies) for my friends. This is all about me. Thank you.(X) – paragraph form / capitalization / comma error (compound sentence) / spelling / missing article / sentence fragment / verb tense present perfect “I have been Catholic since….”/ capitalizationHiI'm Han Sung-joon. I'm 24 years old and i was born in 1997 in republic of korea. My blood type is AB.?Currently i'm living in Seoul with my family, consisting of father, mother, me and my twin sister.(I have parents and a twin sister.) My father works for (a) financial company, my mother is (a) housewife and my sister and I are university students. I'd love to have a pet, but I've never had a pet since my mother has an allergy. So I will raise a cat when I live independent. My religion is(I have been a ..) Catholic since I was born Because all my family is Christian(,) and my baptismal name is Samuel.?I don't want to get married yet, but if I will do, I want to marry with a woman who understands me on my thoughts and has a good personality.?My hobby is palying basket ball and game(s) with my friends who always make me happy so I usually go out to hang out with them on weekend(s). As I mentioned about my hobby, favorite sport is also basket ball. I wanted to be a basket ball player when i was in high school actually, but I quit because I got injured on my shoulder during the game.?My major is public sociology and I've been studying how to manage welfare and I'm planning to establish a company which combined welfare and management in the future.?My strengths are kindness and thoughtfulness so I sympathize others well. my weaknesses is inflexible.(X) romanization / articles / spelling/ adjective – comparative form (more…than) / capitalization / punctuation – commas / My Self Introduction?Hello(, my) My name is Mina Yoo. I am in the third year of university now ,but since I took (the) KSAT three times(.) I am twenty-four years old. My hometown is Iksan which is close to Jeonju. I have one sister who is four years older than me. and my sister She is a highschool English teacher in Kunsan,so she often gives the keys in English problem solving. I usally like to watch movies, bake cookies ,and play computer games. To watch movies often, I paid for Netflix,so when I have lots of free time(,) like (a) vacation, I always watch at least one movie a day. The best movie that I saw in this winter vacation was 'Up For Love' because this movie (it) gave me a lesson that inner love is (more) important than external love. Previously, I thought the outer side of a person was more significant ,but after watching this movie I realized the inner side is more critical. As I mentioned, my other hobby is to bake cookies or cakes. As I had lots of free time in this vacation(,) I cooked a cake for my family. The cake which was (a) souffle took a lot of time to make it, but since it was for my family I made it without knowing It was hard. Next vacation, I am planning to go to the academy to learn cooking more systemically. Although I love to watch movies or bake cookies, my most favorite hobby is to play games. When I am stressed out by studying my major I play games to cool out anger. My number one game is ‘Kartrider’ because in the game I can drive fast as I want which I can’t when I am actually driving. Therefore, I can feel the thrill and this feeling relieves my stress. As I like feeling the thrill I hope to sit next to the(a) car racer someday and feel exhilarated. This has been my introduction. I hope the people who read this article (paragraph) can stay healthy and happy!(X) sentence fragment – missing verb (be) / verb tense /Self-introduction2016260188 Lee Sae-ran`?????????Hello, my name is Lee Sae-ran. I born in Seoul, but now I live in Kyungkido (Gyeongi-do) with my parents, sister, and dog. Since?I entered to Korea University, I lived in Chungju by myself. However, I am going to live with my sister this year because my sister (she) will go to Chungju University in Chungju. Actually, there are many hobbies among people, for example, watching movies, playing games, listening to music and so one( not about you, unnecessary). There are several (The) things that I like the most is walking with my dog, travel, and watching Netflix. It feels fresh when I walk with my dog especially on sunny days, so I tried(try) to walk on every day. When I was young, my family enjoyed the travel no matter what the country or provinces in Korea. Therefore, I love to travel due to the influence of my parents. The most memorable place is?Japan, and it was the first time to travel with my sister without my parents. I hope we will travel all around the world in the future. Next, I like to watch Netflix after joining Netflix. I have watched some series for?months. Recently, I watched the documentary ‘Cheer’. It was really fun, and I highly recommend(it) to my friends. This is my self-introduction, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.(X) missing commas / fragment / Hello, my name is Choi Seo-young. I live in Daejeon. But when the semester starts, I will live in a University dormitory in Jochiwon. I have lived in the dormitory since last semester, but at first(,) I was worried about living with strangers apart from my parents. Unlike my worries, I was not sensitive(,) and my roommates were good so I was doing well in the dormitory. Of course, I missed my family. My family was so harmonious that we traveled and went to good restaurants a lot. Therefore, my hobby is to go to a famous restaurant or cafe and eat delicious food. Whenever I came home during vacation, I used to spend time outside with my family. However, as you know, I couldn't go outside this vacation because of Corona 19. So I watched movies and dramas at home. It is my favorite hobby. I like American and British dramas, especially Good Doctor and Sherlock Holmes. Whenever I watched dramas, I wanted to speak the language of the country and understand their conversation without subtitles. So I am very interested in the language and culture of other countries. This is why I chose to major in English Language and Literature. I am not good at foreign language(s) yet, but I want to interpret at important meetings between countries or translate movies and books someday. This is my story for now(,) and I hope it helped you (to learn) know about me. Thank you for reading this.?(X) comma – (compound sentence) / numeral / article / verb tense / My Self-Introduction> 2019400216 Choi Si-eun??Hello, my name is?Choi?Si-eun. I' m?twenty-two years old?in Korea. My blood type is A.(relevant? Why mention this? Curious..) I was born in?Busan, Korea. When I was young, my family and?I?moved to?Sejong?because?my father was ordered to move to the company's branch.?Then we moved here from Busan,?I' m still living there. (repetitive)There are 3 people in my?family, and?I am an only?child, and?we don't have any pets. My father is an office worker(,) and my mother is a housewife. I am majoring in?Cultural ICT Convergence?in the Department of Cultural Heritage Convergence. This is related to the history of archaeological art.?I took the college entrance exam twice. On my first entrance exam, I hoped to go to (a) design university. But because I failed the exam, I had to take another college entrance exam. On my second college entrance exam, I chose this department, which is related to art. I?went to church when I was young. I?was influenced by her (Who??) family because they are Christians. But when I grow up, I don't believe in religion. My weakness is that I don't wake up very well in the morning. I like pasta. I can't cook many dishes, but I'm good at?Aglio?e Olio?or?Rose?pasta. I don't want to get married because I'm a?celibate.?When I am independent of my parents, I hope to live with a?puppy.?I hope you read my self-introduction well. Thank you.(X) – capitalization / verb tense / modal / word order / comma (compound sentence) / article / Hello, MY name is Kwon Dae-you.?I’m twenty-four years old. When I was young, I lived in Seoul, but now I live in Ilsan with my mother since 2007.(verb tense -present perfect) I am an only child. Don’t worry about my father. My father lives separately to care (to take care of my) grandmother. I had a puppy. However, she ran away while the house door was open. If I (could) go back to the past, I want to see her again. I have several hobbies that I absolutely love. I like any sports with balls. Especially, I (especially love to) play soccer twice a week and I’m a member of(the) KU amateur soccer group and I’m the vice president of KU soccer group. Because I like playing soccer so much, I participate(d) in soccer tournament(s) many times. In addition, I love to bawl(bowl). I have a personal ball, and my highest score is 262. Also, the league (which league, the bowling league or football league?) was interrupted by the coronavirus, but I like to analyze football matches. This is one reason I chose the Sports Science major at Korea University. I am currently studying TEPS to go to graduate school. This is difficult, but it will do. And my final goal is to get a job at KT sports. There is no reason why I want to go. It just makes me attract ( I am attracted to) the company. As I mentioned, I am an only child. I think people who helped me when I was alone are important in my life. I want to share my hobbies with people who helped me and to be together. This is my self-introduction. Thank you for giving me a chance to introduce myself.(X) paragraph form (only 1 parag is necessary) / romanization / capitalization / sentence fragment / word choice / Title: Self Introduction Hello, my name is Chae Sohyun. I am 24years old in Korean age. I was born and raised in Ulsan. There are four members in my family. I have one older brother. I am majoring in global sports business in Korea University. I really like my major. Because it is more interesting to learn by applying to sports than just learning basic business theory. Opportunities for (in) various field(s) experiences are also available.(OR – Opportunities for experience in various fields is available in my major.) As my major is about sports marketing, I like to watch and play many different sports. I like to watch soccer and volleyball games. My hobby is to watch movies and listen to music. I do not have any preferences of specific movie genre(s) and like all types of movie. Recently I watched ‘Little Women’. I already knew the story but watching it as a movie was still interesting. Every scene was beautiful. It seemed like film makers have made a lot of effort in (designing / choosing) the color and props. I also like trying new things like visiting new places or trying things I have never done before. So even if I go to the same destination, I like to get there by (a) different route. It is sad that I cannot roam around as I used to these days because of health issues. But I am making my list of where to go for later. Since I like traveling and trying new stuff, I also have interest in learning other cultures or languages. I especially like learning new languages. I think being able to speak and understand other languages is great. So the goal of this year for me is to study Chinese and one of the goals of my life is to speak more than 4 languages. I have been interested in camera (photography) recently. I did not like taking photos before. However, I started thinking that it would be nice to keep memories with pictures. I am bad at it right now because I haven’t shot much photos before and I do not have much artistic talent. What I want to achieve through this class is to improve my English skills and learn many useful things.(X) romanization / Self - IntroductionHi, my name is Lee Jae-Hyun. I am twenty(-)seven years old and I am a senior in English literature at Korea University. My hometown is Seoul. I graduated from elementary, middle and high schools in Seoul. There are five people in my house. My family is (my)grandmother, father, mother, younger sister and me. I have heard that I look like my younger sister since I was young, probably because we both look like my mom. I like many sports, and among them, badminton is my favorite. Since last year, the badminton club 'High Tension' has been created in our school's club If you are interested, I hope you can ask and join us anytime. I hear a lot that I take good care of people around me and listen to others well. I am tall and have a neat appearance, and I(will) also try to become a flight attendant based on various experiences including volunteer work.( transition between ideas ”Another important thing is that …”) I have a cat. The name of the cat that I really love and cherish is 'Hoya' and the bell is a 'ragdoll'. (the cat’s bell?) Cats are known to be chic and self-centered animals, but I think cats (they) really like and follow people as long as (if) they give them love. Recently, I have been spending more time with Hoya because of Corona. However, I hope this situation will stabilize soon and everyone will have their own daily lives.(X) paragraph form (write a single paragraph) / romanization / numerals / sentence fragment / spelling / preposition / comma (compound sentence) / word choice / verb tenseMy Self-IntroductionHajeong SongMy name is Hajeong Song. I’m 24 years old and was born in Ulsan which is next to Busan. I move to Suwon when I graduated from kindergarten. And I’m living in dormitory in my uni. Actually, I am able (to) commute school but this term is my last term (,)so I want to live in dormitory with my roommate. Because of Corona Virus, I can not enter to the dormitory but I am looking for the day when I can go to there.I love travelling abroad because I can experience other countries culture(s), especially food. I am careless(word choice – picky? Not picky?) about food selection such as exotic ingredient or spice apart from coriander. When I travelled in several countries with my friends, I ate every plates even my friend (was repulsed) have repulsion for that. It is difficult to choose the best city or country which I have ever been. But I would like to say However, the worst city was Rome, Italy. I was on my way to Vatican city so I took a tube (subway?). Suddenly, a woman tried to steal my bag. I was so shocked and mad because I have (had) never ever experienced that someone pick my pocket even in Paris which is famous as a pickpocket. Fortunately, she was failed stealing mine but gave me a terrible experience.( transition to new idea )I like watching film and drama especially in (on)Netflix and Watcha which is Korean Netflix. My favourite series in Netflix is “Stranger Things”. I started watching it 2 weeks ago and I am crazy about Stanger Things it now.One day I hope to go to every place that is related with films or dramas that I am crazy about. That’s all my story and I hope you enjoyed my self-introduction?(missing punctuation – comma /period)BONUSBrainstorming Questions – ReviewHere is a list of some questions you might want to answer when writing a descriptive paragraph about your hometown.VERB TENSES Past / Present / Future / Present Progressive / Past Progressive / Present PerfectRelated Hometown Topics for Discussion history / geography or landscape / weather / culture (sports, food, architecture, music ....) / landmarks / economy / personal preferences / education / politics / people… Where are you from? (topic sentence)Where is your hometown located? (prepositions and compass bearings)What do you think of your hometown? (topic sentence)What is it like? (vocabulary - adjectives)Where is/are the best / worst place(s) in your hometown?How much has hour hometown changed?Has your hometown become more developed?What are the main industries in your hometown?Is there unforgettable scenery in your hometown?How long did you live in your hometown?What are some interesting facts about your hometown?How long does it take to get to your hometown from here?Do foreigners/tourists visit your hometown?When do people visit your hometown?Who is the most famous or historic al person in your hometown?What is the most famous ______(noun) _ in your hometown?How many people live your hometown?What languages do people speak in your hometown?Where are you living now?What are the best and worst things about your hometown?What are some things you like to do in your hometown?When did you start living there?What are your favorite things about your hometown? Why do you like these unique things?Do you want to live in your hometown in the future?What are the advantages/disadvantages of your hometown?Who are the famous people in / from your hometown?How long have you lived in your hometown?Where do you go when you go to your hometown?Where is your favorite hole-in-the-wall (bar/restaurant) in your hometown?What is the population of your hometown?What are some mysteries about your hometown?What has changed in your hometown since your childhood?What is something you want everyone to know about your hometown? ................
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