Angelfire: Welcome to Angelfire
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back
to you later." - Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a
good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from
insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all
owned by cats." - Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of
cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life:
music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - Unknown
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with
strange cats." - Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to
ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols
Who would believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur?
- Irish Saying
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little,
they become its visible soul."-- Jean Cocteau
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have TV
shows starring rubber sqeak toys?
-- Douglas Coupland
When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop
to admitting it.
--Doug Larson
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on
their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat
and drop it?
--Steven Wright
Cats are soft-furred mammals, who are mildly and clumsily
predatory. They have anywhere from two to a dozen neurons.
The baseline intellect of a cat has two states. 1) Chow state
(feeding frenzy) 2) Asleep mode (unconscious on your bed with
whiskers twitching)
--Elaine Richards
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty
of kittens.
--Abraham Lincoln
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has
a purpose.
Garrison Keillor
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give
away a perfectly good kitten.
--Doug Larson
Kitten: small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
--strata@psyche.mit.edu
After dark all cats are leopards.
--Native American Proverb (Zuni)
CAT, n: (1) A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
--Anon.
I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this
at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance.
-- James Thurber
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored
by a cat.
--Anon.
"If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken
fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a
word too much." - Mark Twain
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill
"We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be
owned by a cat."
"How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in
heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein
"No heaven will ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to
welcome me." - Unknown
"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity,
and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be
capable of becoming cats?" - Fernand Mery
"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets." - Sonja Monsen
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and
will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"Beware of people who dislike cats." - Irish proverb
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"
"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes."
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made
slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed
with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate
the cat." --Mark Twain
"Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges.
Cats have the courage to live by them." - Jim Davis
"Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and
often simultaneously." - Louis F. Camuti, DVM
"The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends..."-- Saki (H. H. Munro),
"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in
one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter
what they are doing, or pretend they do." - Barbara Webster
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be
welcomed by a cat." - Tay Hohoff
"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble,
He gave him the cat." - Warren Eckstein
"You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners."
- Sir Harry Swanson
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo da Vinci
"A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one
reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not."
- Ernest Hemingway
"Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about
six days, take a look around, then close them again for the
better part of their lives." - Stephen Baker
"Even the stupidest cat seems to know more than any dog."
- Eleanor Clark
"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time
well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of
the human kind." - Cleveland Amory
"Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they
are unfailing ingenious in that respect." - James Mason
"Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to
easily go in one ear and out the other." - Stephen Baker
"If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow
upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr." - Martin Buxbaum
"A meow massages the heart." - Stuart McMillan
"Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a
cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the
time as possible." - Roger Caras
"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no
amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from
your couch." - Leo Dworken
"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables
one to come off as a sane person." - Dan Greenberg
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her
more than she is to me?" - Montaigne
"Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea."
- ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
"I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being
is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted-
-but his or her entertainment value." - Geoffrey Household
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Unknown
The more people I meet the more I like my cat."
--Anonymous
"By associating with the cat one only risks becoming richer."
--Colette
"Cats are designated friends."
--Norman Corwin
"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes
human beings."
--Oliver Herford 1863-1935 American Writer.
"Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge
of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the
governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed...the Great Cat."
--Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes
"To err is human, to purr is feline."
--Robert Byrne
"They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write
an inscription. I say, Can he name a kitten?"
--Samuel Butler
"Cats don't like change without their consent."
--Roger A. Caras
"Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is
still only a whisker away from the wilds."
--Jean Burden
"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old."
--Carl Van Vechten
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."
--Nan Porter
"Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety-valve
device for dealing with happiness overflow."
Monica Edwards (English writer)
"A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself
and does a damned impressive job of it."
--Joseph Epstein
"There are no ordinary cats."
--Colette
"The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron."
--George Will
"God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of
caressing the tiger."
--Fernand Mery
"To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of
conviction--and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest
to come by."
--Stephen Baker
"Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are
not conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their
lives?"
--Louis J. Camuti, DVM
"Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow."
--George F. Will
"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution."
--Hazel Nicholson
"As we all know, cats now rule the world."
--John R.F. Breen
"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without
confinement, and love without penalties."
--W.L. George
"There is, indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not
emulate to his advantage."
--Carl Van Vechten
"There is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest, for there
is nothing brisker than his life when in motion."
--Christopher Smart
"To gain the friendship of a cat is a difficult thing. The cat is
philosophical, metholodical, quiet animal, tenacious of it's own
habits, fond of order and cleanliness, and it does not lightly
confer its friendship. If you are worthy of its affection, a cat
will be your friend, but never your slave. He keeps his free will, though he loves, and he will not do for you what he thinks is unreasonable. But if he once gives himself to you it is with
absolute confidence and affection"-- Theophile Gautier, 1850
"It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat."
--Anonymous
"Unlike us, cats never outgrow their delight in cat capacities,
nor do they settle finally for limitations. Cats, I think, live
out their lives fulfilling their expectations."
--Irving Townsend
"Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about
everything, including the people they own."
--John Dingman
"I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream."
--William Shakespeare, Henry IV
"Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness.
I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that
walked about the house with a saintly expression"
--Beverly Nichols
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because
of all the time they spend on personal grooming.
Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to
roll in a dead fish."
--James Gorman
"It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a
philosophical animal...one that does not place its affections
thoughtlessly."
--Theophile Gautier
"Cats sleep Anywhere, Any table, Any chair, Top of piano,
Window-ledge, In the middle, On the edge."
--Eleanor Farjeon
"A cat's got her own opinion of human beings.
She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you
anxious not to hear the whole of it."
--Jerome K. Jerome
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."
--James Herriot
"Do our cats name us ? My former husband swore that Humphrey and
Dolly and Bean Blossom called me The Big Hamburger."
--Eleanora Walker
"The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact."
--P.G. Wodehouse
"The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all
your emotions into."
--Bruce Schimmel
"Ye shall not possess any beast, my dear sisters, except only a
cat."
--The Ancren Riewle (Nun's Rule)
"When she walked...she stretched out long and thin like a little
tiger, and held her head high to look over the grass as if she
were treading the jungle."
--Sarah Orne Jewett
"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"
--Theophile Gautier
"When I play with my cat who knows whether I do not make her more
sport than she makes me?"
--Michel de Montaigne
"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality
stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and
his presence is there for years on rainy days."
--Albert Einstein
"It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest
fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence."
--Pierre Loti
"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat."
--Wesley Bates
"If a cat spoke, it would say things like, 'Hey, I don't see
the problem here.'"
--Roy Blount, Jr.
"The smart cat doesn't let on that he is."
--H. G. Frommer
"My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her."
--Colette
"Are cats lazy ? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one
of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes,
when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?"
--Fernand Mery
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you;
but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is
warmer"
--Alfred North Whitehead
"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise
creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons."
--Robertson Davies
"A dog knows his master, a cat does not"
--Eleasar B. Zadok
"The cat is the mirror of his human's mind the dog mirrors
his human's physical appearance."
--Winifred Carriere
Avoid dogs whenever you can. Remember... Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral
By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will
find themselves happier with a dog.
Barbara Holland
Cats always know whether people like or dislike them.
They do not always care enough to do anything about it.
Winifred Carriere
If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same
thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy
Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.
Hank Ketchum
Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world - the clock
and the cat.
Emile Auguste Chartier
A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just
to see him.
William Lyon Phelps
The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.
Jules Reynard
Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner.
Stephen Baker
Of all animals, he alone attains the Contemplative Life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha.
There is no pretense of sympathy about the cat. He lives alone, aloft, sublime, in a wise passiveness.
- ANDREW LANG
We cannot without becoming cats, perfectly understand the cat mind.
-- St. George Mivart, The Cat
Intelligence in the cat is underrated.
Louis Wain
Her function is to sit and be admired.
Georgina Strickland Gates
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure,
could walk on a cloud without coming through.
Jules Verne
There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten.
Jules Champfleury
If a cat did not put a firm paw down now and then,
how could his human remain possessed.
Winifred Carriere
One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where
you are when you don't come home at night.
Margaret Mead
"To assume a cat's asleep is a grave mistake. He can close his
eyes and keep both his ears awake."-- Aileen Fisher
"Few animals display their mood via facial expressions as
distinctly as cats."-- Konrad Lorenz
"Nobody can truly own a cat."-- Old British Saying
In the image of Lions made He kittens small and curious.
"A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes."-- Indian saying
Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing
they're glad to see you.
Rudimace always peed in our shoes. -- W.H. Auden
If you lose your job or your best friend, your cat
will think no less of you...
I have never known a cat that couldn't quiet me down
just by walking past my chair.
A kitten is the delight of the household. All day long,
comedy is played by an imcomparable actor.
There is nothing in the animal world, to my mind, more delightful than grown cats at play. They are so swift and light and graceful, so subtle and designing, and yet so richly comic.
Monica Edwards
A little drowsing cat is an image of perfect beatitude.
-- Champfleury
When it comes to knowing how to relax, cats are the original
yoga experts.
Patricia Curtis
Cats find malicious amusement in doing what they are not wanted
to do, and that with an affectation of innocence that materially
aggravates their deliberate offense.
Helen Winslow
It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as
modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the
same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no
authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their
material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful.
Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many
of the same qualities as people that is is often hard to tell the
people and the cats apart.
P. J. O'Rourke
Cats hate a closed door, you know, regardless of which side
they're on. If they're out, they want to get in, and if they're
in, they want to get out.
Lillian Jackson Braun
Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness
caused by the fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshiped as
gods. This makes them prone to set themselves up as critics and
censors of the frail and erring human beings whose lot they share.
P. G. Wodehouse
When naming a cat, if one's imagination is totally at a loss,
start with a good encyclopedia. Look up the names of emperors,
empresses, kings, and queens. Cats, particularly male cats, like
very strong names which link them to majestic feats.
Auriel Douglas
Never ask a hungry cat whether he loves you for yourself alone.
Louis J. Camuti
Loneliness is comforted by the closeness and touch of fur to fur,
skin to skin, or--skin to fur.
Paul Gallico
Cats love one so much--more than they will allow. But they have
so much wisdom they keep it to themselves.
Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
The cat, it is well to remember, remains the friend of man
because it pleases him to do so and not because he must.
Carl Van Vechten
The cat always leaves a mark on his friend.
- Spanish Proverb
It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert,
gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just
enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for
more.
Agnes Repplier
When you're special to a cat, you're special indeed...she brings
to you the gift of her preference of you, the sight of you, the
sound of your voice, the touch of your hand.
Lenore Fleischer
The cat lives alone. He has no need of society. He obeys only
when he wishes, he pretends to sleep the better to see,
and scratches everything he can scratch.
Francois-Auguste Rene de Chateaubriand
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is
that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
Once cats were all wild, but afterward they retired to houses.
Edward Topsell
The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become
a domestic animal.
Sir Compton Mackenzie
Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the
wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes less than
themselves.
A.S.J. Tessimond
To respect a cat is the beginning of the aesthetic sense.
Erasmus Darwin
Cats are love on four legs.
Richard Torregrossa
Anyone who claims that a cat cannot give a dirty look
either has never kept a cat or is singularly unobservant.
Maurice Burton
I suspect that many an ailurophobe (a person who fears or hates
cats) hates cats only because he feels they are better people
than he is--more honest, more secure, more loved, more whatever
he is not.
Winifred Carriere
If you would know what a cat is thinking about, you must hold its
paw in your hand for a long time...
Jules Champfleury
Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead
leaf.
Charlotte Gray
If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh.
Patricia Hitchcock
Cats only assume their strangest, most intriguing and most
beautiful postures when it is impossible to photograph them.
Cat calendars always disappoint for they only show the public
range of cat positions.
J. R. Coulson
A cat isn't fussy--just as long as you remember he likes his milk
in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue
plate. From which he will take it, and eat off the floor.
Arthur BridgesAesop
Kittens are wide-eyed, soft and sweet. With needles in their jaws
and feet.
Pam Brown
A cat who has taken umbrage is a terrible sight to see.
Rosemary Nisbet
To some blind souls all cats are much alike. To a cat lover
every cat from the beginning of time has been utterly and
amazingly unique.
Jenny De Vries
The really great thing about cats is their endless variety.
One can pick a cat to fit almost any kind of decor, income,
personality, mood. But under the fur, there still lies,
essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls.
Eric Gurney
One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming
home.
Pam Brown
Only cat lovers know the luxury of fur-coated, musical hot water
bottles that never go cold.
Susanne Millen
There are people who reshape the world by force or argument,
but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly
reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience.
Allen and Ivy Dodd
He makes himself the companion of your hours of solitude,
melancholy and toil. He remains for whole evenings on your knee,
uttering his contented purr, happy to be with you,
and forsaking the company of animals of his own species.
Theophile Gautier
Places to look: behind the books in the bookshelf, any cupboard
with a gap too small for any cat to squeeze through, the top of
anything sheer, under anything too low for a cat to squash under
and inside the piano.
Roseanne Ambrose-Brown
Cats like doors left open, in case they change their minds.
Rosemary Nisbet
I love in the cat that independent and most ungrateful temper
which prevents it from attaching itself to anyone; the
indifference with which it passes from the salon to the housetop.
Francois Rene De Chateaubriand
For me, one of the pleasures of cats' company is their devotion
to bodily comfort.
Compton Mackenzie
The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd
rather sleep on you than beside you.
Pam Brown
A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge.
Jenny De Vries
A cat refuses to be the object of sentimentality--if she
doesn't want to be cuddled, that's it.
Samantha Armstrong
All cats like being the focus of attention.
Peter Gray
People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find
they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote.
Charlotte Gray
Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the
reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them.
Compton Mackenzie
One day a cat will opt to join you while you are utterly relaxed
in muscle and brain, and with delicate miaow and a velvet paw
will show you transcendental meditation by an expert.
V. Martin
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule:
when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
- John Weitz, American Designer
If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape,
then a cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
Doris Lessing
After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized
by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has
filed it for reference.
Charlotte Gray
There is nothing so lowering to one's self-esteem as the
affectionate contempt of a beloved cat.
Monica Edwards
A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.
George Mikes
You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people,
because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
-- George Mikes from "How to be decadent"
You own a dog but you feed a cat.
Jenny De Vries
One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other,
whether it's affection, the taste or a trial run for the jugular.
Helen Thomson
A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal,
even if it does stand on two legs.
Sarah Thompson
Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.
-- Paul Gray
A cat does not want all the world to love her--only those she has
chosen to love.
Helen Thomson
One must love a cat on its own terms.
Peter Gray
Cats are a tonic, they are a laugh, they are a cuddle, they are
at least pretty just about all of the time and beautiful some
of the time.
Roger Caras
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that
will cause the most inconvenience.
Pam Brown
Most cats enjoy kneading--digging their claws into rugs, fabrics
or human arms or legs. It exercises certain muscles, but I think
they do it for fun, too.
Lloyd Alexander
Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration-
-and get between you and it.
Arthur Bridges
A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts
are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays.
She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you
tread on it.
Henry David Thoreau
Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all
things were created to serve man.
Paul Gray
The cat has been described as the most perfect animal, the acme
of muscular perfection and the supreme example in the animal
kingdom of the co-ordination of mind and muscle.
Roseanne Ambrose-Brown
Poets generally love cats--because poets have no delusions about
their own superiority.
Marion Garretty
Everything a cat is and does physically is to me beautiful,
lovely, stimulating, soothing, attractive and an enchantment.
Paul Gallico
Rarely do you see a cat discomfited. They have no conscience, and
they never regret. Maybe we secretly envy them.
Barbara Webster
A cat is a regency gentleman--elegant of pose, exquisite of
manner, with spotless linen and an enthusiasm for bare knuckle
fights, rampaging love affairs, duels by moonlight and the
singing of glees. He expects immaculate service from his domestic
staff, and possesses a range of invective that would make a navy
blanch.
Pam Brown
We tie bright ribbons around their necks, and occasionally little
tinkling bells, and we affect to think that they are as sweet
and vapid as the coy name 'kitty' by which we call them would
imply. It is a curious illusion. For, purring beside our
fireplaces and pattering along our back fences, we have got a
wild beast as uncowered and uncorrupted as any under heaven.
Alan Devoe
I saw the most beautiful cat today. It was sitting by the side of
the road, its two front feet neatly and graciously together.
Then it gravely swished around its tail to completely and snugly
encircle itself. It was so fit and beautifully neat, that gesture, and so self-satisfied--so complacent.
Mary Morrow Lindbergh
As an inspiration to the author, I do not think the cat can be
over-estimated. He suggests so much grace, power, beauty, motion,
mysticism. I do not wonder that many writers love cats; I am only
surprised that all do not.
Carl Van Vechten
"May the great galactic kitten always purr you to sleep"
"It's really the cat's house--we just pay the mortgage"
Nancy Lebovitz
I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are
the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know,
outside of the girl you love, of course.
- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher
A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly
revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove
title?
- Mark Twain (Pudd'nhead Wilson)
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright
Once it has given its love, what absolute confidence, what
fidelity of affection! It will make itself the companion of
your hours of work, of loneliness, or of sadness. It will lie
the whole evening on your knee, purring and happy in your
society, and leaving the company of creatures of its own
society to be with you.
Theophile Gautier
What fun to be a cat!
Christopher Morley (American writer)
What sort of philosophers are we, who know absolutely nothing
of the origin and destiny of cats?
Henry David Thoreau
When I play with my cat, who knows whether
she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her?
Michel de Montaigne
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
--T. S. Eliot
I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there,
he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my
tongue, but other than that ..
--Steve Martin
The cat who doesn't act finicky soon loses control of his owner.
--"Morris the Cat"
Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their
owners will awaken ... then they awaken them ten minutes sooner.
--Jim Davis
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited
breath.
--W. C. Fields
We have two cats. They're my wife's cats, Mischa and Alex. You can
tell a woman names a cat like this. Women always have sensitive
names: Muffy, Fluffy, Buffy. Guys name cats things like Tuna
Breath, Fur Face, Meow Head. They're nice cats. They've been
neutered and they've been declawed. So they're like pillows that
eat.
--Larry Reeb
I'm not one of those as can see the cat in the dairy and wonder
what she's there for.
--George Eliot.
Ignorant people think it s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravation, but it ain’t so; its the sickening grammar they use.
--Mark Twain.
I purr, therefore I am.
~ Anonymous ~
"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet."-- Colette
"The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye,
the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile
ear, an unrivalled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the
rose-tree."-- Colette
"What greater gift than the love of a cat?"-- Charles Dickens
"Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner
himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to
move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled and
it makes a sound when you jump on it."-- Stephen Baker
"Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses
to make the effort."-- Paul Corey, "Do Cats Think? "
"If there was any petting to be done...he chose to do it. Often
he would sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate
affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could
touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented."
-- Charles Dudley Warner, "Calvin"
"A kitten is the rosebud in the garden of the animal kingdom."
-- Robert Southey
"Every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."
-- E.V. Lucas
"A dog is a dog, a bird is a bird, and a cat is a person."
-- Mugsy Peabody
"A dog is prose, a cat is a poem. "-- Jean Burden
"Dogs eat. Cats dine."-- Ann Taylor
"A cat is there when you call her - if she doesn't have something
better to do."-- Bill Adler
"I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women."
-- John Simon
"Cats are mysterious folk. There is more passing in their minds
than we are aware of."-- Sir Walter Scott
"When adressed, a gentleman cat does not move a muscle. He looks
as if he hasn't heard."-- Mary Sarton
"A cat is nobody's fool."-- Heywood Brown
"Woman, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures
only can realize their sensitive nervous systems."-- Helen M. Winslow
"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."-- Edgar Allan Poe
"Happy is the home with at least one cat."-- Italian Proverb
A cat in grass is a tiger in the jungle. - English
"The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying,
three for staying."-- English Proverb
"Nothing's more determined than a cat on a hot tin roof..."
-- Tennessee Williams
"If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human
beings, the best thing you can do is keep a pair of cats."
-- Aldous Huxley
"A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand."-- Vakaoka Genrin
"Cats will always lie soft."-- Theocrites
"Cats are always elegant."-- John Weitz
"Watch a cat when it enters a room for the first time. It searches
and smells about, it is not quiet for a moment, it trusts nothing
until it has examined and made acquaintance with everything."
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
"If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will
find it and soak it up."-- Jean Asper McIntosh
"When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport. When the
tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity."-- George Bernard Shaw
"Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched."-- Cervantes
In the night all cats are gray.
--Miguel de Cervantes:
"No man ever dared to manifest his boredom so insolently as does
a Siamese tomcat when he yawns in the face of his amorously
importunate wife."-- Aldous Huxley
"People with insufficient personalities are fond of cats. These
people adore being ignored."-- Henry Morgan
"Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not
fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united
to creative people."-- Andre Norton
"Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set
for him in our blind folly."-- Andre Norton
"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that, whatever you say
to them, they always purr."-- Lewis Carroll
"It has been the providence of Nature to give the cat nine lives
instead of one."-- Bidpai (circa 326 B.C.)
"Among human beings, a cat is merely a cat; among cats, a cat is a
prowling shadow in a jungle."-- Karel Capek
"But thousands die without or this or that,
Die, and endow a college or a cat."-- Alexander Pope
"It's an honor to paint cats."-- Oliver Johnson
"Every life should have nine cats."-- Anonymous
"The cat is a character of being; the dog, a character of doing."
-- Michael J. Rosen
"A cat can purr its way out of anything."-- Donna McCrohan
"When I'm discouraged, he's empathy incarnate, purring and rubbing
to telegraph his dismay."-- Catheryn Jakobson
"Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their
body."-- Erma Bombeck
"Is it yet another survival of jungle instinct, this hiding away
from prying eyes at important times? Or merely a gesture of
independence, a challenge to man and his stupid ways?"-- Michael Joseph
"When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care
about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there
thinking up ways to get even."-- Penny Ward Moser
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in
his water bowl."-- Penny Ward Moser
"Artists like cats; soldiers like dogs."-- Desmond Morris
"He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose
philosophy is sleep and let sleep"-- Saki
"The cat of the slums and alleys, starved, outcast, harried,...
still displays the self-reliant watchfulness which man has never
taught it to lay aside."-- Saki
"Cats are dogs with a college education"-- Grace Hodgson
"In nine lifetimes, you'll never know as much about your cat as
your cat knows about you."-- Michael Zullo
"In my house lives a cat who is a curmudgeon and cantankerous,
a cat who is charming and convivial, and a cat who is combative
and commendable. And yet I have but one cat."-- Dave Edwards
"Cats are endless opportunities for revelation."-- Leslie Kapp
"Cats come and go without ever leaving."-- Martha Curtis
"Everything comes to those who wait...except a cat."-- Marilyn Peterson
"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on
their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer."-- Paula Poundstone
"Cats are our last best chance to have a dysfunctional
relationship."-- John Bush
"In life there are two compensations---Prozac and cats."-- Brian Walsh
"All cats are possessed of a proud spirit, and the surest way to
forfeit the esteem of a cat is to treat him as an inferior being."
--Michael Joseph
"The cat is utterly sincere."-- Fernand Mery
"Cats must have three names--an everyday name, such as Peter;
a more particular, dignified name, such as Quaxo, Bombalurina,
or Jellylorum; and, thirdly, the name the cat thinks up for
himself, his deep and inscrutable singular Name."-- T.S. Eliot
"Cats are living adornments."-- Edwin Lent
"I will always remember the olive-eyed tabby who taught me that
not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes
just an hour is enough to touch your heart."-- Barbara L. Diamond
"A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat
really doesn't need to know that everybody loves him."-- William Kunstler
"We quickly discovered that two kittens were much more fun than
one."-- Allen Lacy
"If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his cat
thinks of him."-- Anonymous
"No tame animal has lost less of its native dignity or maintained
more of its ancient reserve. The domestic cat might rebel
tomorrow."
--William Conway (Archbishop of Armagh)
"A cat is never vulgar."-- Carl Van Vechten
"Cats are only human, they have their faults."-- Kingsley Amis
"The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away."-- E. W. Howe
"Sleeping together is a euphemism for people but tantamount to
marriage with cats."-- Marge Piercy
"It is in their eyes that their magic resides."-- Arthur Symons
"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching
is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."-- Dan Greenburg
"If only cats grew into kittens."-- R. D. Stern
"No matter how tired or wretched I am, a pussycat sitting in a
doorway can divert my mind."-- Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
"If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a
few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of
doing so first."-- Arthur Weigall
"Catnip is vodka and whiskey to most cats."-- Carl Van Vechten
"A pharaoh's profile, a Krishna's grace, tail like a question
mark."-- Louis MacNeice
"Like those great sphinxes lounging through eternity in noble
attitudes upon the desert sand, they gaze incuriously at nothing,
calm and wise."-- Charles Baudelaire
"A little lion, small and dainty sweet with sea-grey eyes and
softly stepping feet."-- Graham Tomson
"No workman can build a door which shall be proof against a cat
or a lover."-- French Saying
"It is in the nature of cats to do a certain amount of unescorted
roaming."-- Adlai Stevenson
'
"I had been told that the training procedure with cats was
difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days."
-- Comedian Bill Dana
"When the cat's away, the mice will play."-- Folk Saying.
"Whenever the cat of the house is black, the lasses of lovers
will have no lack."-- Folk Saying
"The dog for the man, the cat for the woman."-- English Proverb
"Happy owner, happy cat. Indifferent owner, reclusive cat."-- Chinese Proverb
"A cat pent up becomes a lion."-- Italian Proverb
"A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays,
and for the last three he stays."-- English/American Proverb
"A house without either a cat or a dog is the house of a scoundrel.
"-- Portuguese Proverb
"The cat was created when the lion sneezed."-- Arabian Proverb
"Curiosity killed the cat, Satisfaction brought it back!"
-- English Proverb
"A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope."-- Arabian Proverb
"Books and cats and fair-haired little girls make the best
furnishing for a room."-- French Proverb
"I gave an order to a cat, and the cat gave it to its tail."
-- Chinese Proverb
"Cats, flies and women are ever at their toilets."-- French Proverb
"In the middle of a world that has always been a bit mad, a cat
walks with confidence."-- Roseanne Amberson
"A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more
than can be said for human beings."-- William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)
"The fog comes on little cat feet."-- Carl Sandberg (1916)
"The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him."
-- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
"My cat knows the song in my heart and purrs it to me when my
memory fails."-- unknown
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,
everyone should have a dog that will worship him
and a cat that will ignore him."
Dereke Bruce
"Cat's Motto:
No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look like the dog did it."
Unknown
His friendship is not easily won but it is something worth having.
Michael Joseph
A cat is the only real love money can buy.
"If you can't remember how many cats you have, you don't have
enough" -- Unknown
"A cat sleeps fat yet walks thin." -- Fred Scwab
"Again I must remind you that a dog's a dog--a cat's a cat."
-- T.S. Eliot
"Some animals are secretive; some are shy. A cat is private."
-- Leonard Michaels
"It is better to feed one cat than many mice." -- Old Norwegian proverb
"...one of the ways in which cats show happiness is by sleeping."
-- Cleveland Amory
"One meets the cat in nearly all forms of art...curiously enough
she is not a conspicuous figure in Roman or Greek art."
-- Carl Van Vechten
"Everything that moves serves to interest and amuse a cat."
-- F.A. Paradis Moncrif
"Puss on the hearth with velvet paws, sits wiping o'er his
whiskered jaws." -- Erasmus Darwin
"Cats don't belong to people. They belong to places." -- Wright Morris
"And let me touch those curving claws of yellow ivory; and grasp
the tail that like a monstrous asp coils round your heavy velvet
paws." -- Oscar Wilde
"The cat is the only animal without visible means of support who
still manages to find a living in the city." -- Carl Van Vechten
"You may own a cat, but cannot govern one." -- Kate Sanborn
"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him."
-- Lynn Hollyn
"He possessed nothing in the world except a cat, which he carried
in his bosom, frequently caressing it, as his sole companion."
-- Jacobus Diaconus
"If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich. "African Proverb
"Cats are such good friend's. They ask no questions and don't take
criticism." -- Edna Benson
"The cat has a nervous ear, that turns this way and that. And what
the cat may hear, is known but to the cat." -- David Morton
"The cat in gloves catches no mice."
-- Poor Richard's Almanac, Benjamin Franklin
"The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it
pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world." -- Lynn M. Osband
Don Addis:
Never play cat and mouse games if you're a mouse.
Lloyd Alexander:
Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as
much fun.
Cleveland Amory:
Cats talk with their tails.
Michelle Argabrite:
I think my favorite thing in the house has to be the cat...
mainly because she's just like a big piece of noisy Velcro when
you toss her at the sofa.
Alan Ayckbourn:
Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain
degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.
Peggy Bacon:
I cannot exist without a catLife would not be worth living
without a cat.
Oswald Barron:
She knows that nine lives are enough.
Drew Barrymore:
If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his
food so I can live inside him.
Margaret Benson:
A plate is distasteful to a cat, a newspaper still worse; they
like to eat sticky pieces of meat sitting on a cushioned chair
or a nice Persian rug.
Margaret Benson:
A cat must either have beauty and breeding, or it must have a
profession.
Ambrose Bierce:
Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be
kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
R. H. Blyth:
I myself think to have a cat is more important than to have a
Bible.
Elayne Boosler:
A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him.
Why? I was the only one without a cat.
Charles J. Brady:
The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat.
Edward Burlingame:
I love cats. I even think we have one at home.
Edward Burlingame:
There is something about the presence of a catthat seems to take
the bite out of being alone.
Karel Capek:
Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust a cat because s
he knows her better than we do.
William H. A. Carr:
Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon them.
Few people are mugwumps about the cat.
Jacob Cats:
If one owns a pretty cat, it's best to avoid the furrier.
Jules Champfleury:
The love of dress is very marked in this attractive animal. He is proud of the lustre of his coat, and cannot endure that a hair of it shall lie the wrong way.
Chaucer:
Take a cat, nourish it well with milk
And tender meat, make it a couch of silk,
But let it see a mouse along the wall
And it abandones milk and meat and all.
Susy Clemens (daughter of author Mark Twain):
Momma loves morals and Papa loves cats.
Nelson A. Crawford:
The cat lives his own life; he expects you to live yours.
Patricia Dale-Green:
There is one way in which cats differ from all other animals and that is in the effect they have on human beings.
Bernos de Gasztold:
Wouldn't You like someday
To put a curse on the whole race of dogs?
If so, I should say, Amen.
I love cats, I adore cats, and may be forgiven for putting one in
the sky after sixty years of hard work.
-- J. J. L. de Lalande On his efforts to launch a cat into space
T. S. Eliot:
When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes.
Lee Entrekin:
Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.
Anthony Henderson Euwer:
Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain't no cat wuz ever dumb.
Frangois Fossier:
Cats are forever.
Thomas Fuller:
Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one.
I think of a woman as something like myself.
-- Paul Gallico translating from cat language
Theophile Gautier:
The cat is a dilettante in fur.
Dynasties of cats, as numerous as the dynasties of the Pharaohs,
succeed each other under my roof The memory of the cats we
have lost fades like the memory of men.
Sometimes he sits at your feet looking into your face with an expression so gentle.
Delphine Gay:
The catlike man is one upon whom no tricks can be played with success.
Alberto Giacometti when asked which of his creations he would rescue from a fire:
It depends on what is in my house. If there was a cat, and my works, I would save the cat. A cat's life is more important than art.
Gilbert Gude:
Maybe in the future we should add one more question to those we ask of presidential candidates we should ask them where they stand on cats. Better still, we should demand to see the cats these candidates say they have raised, just to make sure we are not having the fur pulled over our eyes.
Elizabeth Hamilton:
Which is the more beautiful, feline movement or feline stillness?
Gail Hamilton:
What's virtue in a man can't be virtue in a cat.
If left to their own devices, felines tend to nap and nibble throughout the day and night, scarcely differentiating between the two.
J. K. Huysmans:
In the matter of animals I love only cats, but I love them unreasonably for their qualities and in spite of their numerous faults. I have only one, but I could not live without a cat.
Lesley Anne Ivory:
Cats are glorious creatures who must on no accounts be underestimated...
their eyes are fathomless depths of cat-world mysteries.
David James:
After extensive research, I have determined that cats do have nine lives.
But this has made for some awkward moments on the autopsy table since you can never really tell which life is nine.
Lillian Johnson:
Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet.
Obviously those people have never met an angry cat.
Rob Kopack:
If cats could talk, they would lie to you.
Dilys Laing:
I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it. She looks up and gives me her full gaze. Don't be ridiculous, she purrs, I wrote it.
Jay Leno:
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they never listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Paul Leyhausen:
Friendship between cats can exist, but more or less in the same way that it can exist for a not very sociable man who spends his time in provoking others and who, when asked why he does not have any friends, replies: "I would like to have them but they are so ignoble!"
If a cat is creeping up on prey and realizes that another cat is
watching, it will straighten up and act disinterested.
I care not for a man's religion whose dog or cat is not the better
for it.
- ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Sharon Lundblad:
A cat is a very special friend who comes into your life. When it comes it brings warmth, companionship, contentment and love. Whether it's long-haired, short-haired, pedigreed or "heinz" makes no difference.
A cat, though independent, has a way of letting you know that without you life just wouldn't be worthwhile.
If you're lucky enough to own a cat consider yourself one of life's winners because when you have a cat around you'll never be lonely; the sound of it's purr will give you comfort, and as you hold it and pet it, stress will slip away.
John D. MacDonald:
If a cat can detect no self-advantage in what it is being told to do, it says the hell with it, and, if pressure is brought to bear, it will grow increasingly surly and irritable to the point where it is hopeless to continue.
Groucho Marx:
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is
going somewhere.
James Mason:
Cats do not have to be show how to have a good time, for they are
unfailing ingenious in that respect.
Rod McKuen:
There has never been a cat
Who couldn't calm me down
By walking slowly
Past my chair
Harold Monro:
When the tea is brought at five o'clock
And all the neat curtains are drawn with care,
The little black cat with bright green eyes
Is suddenly purring there.
Ogden Nash:
The trouble with a kitten is that,
Eventually....it becomes a cat!
Dave Platt:
Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.
William Shakespeare:
A harmless, necessary cat.
John Simon:
I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.
Robert Southey:
Ah! Little do you know how swiftly fly
The venomed darts of feline jealousy.
Gladys Tabor:
When cat people get together they are as single-minded as vegetarians, or kelp and soybean addicts. For they can talk for hours about what their cats will and will not eat. Once you meet a cat lover you will pursue his or her cat's food predilections endlessly.
Jane Taylor:
I like little Pussy, her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.
Dr. Edward Lee Thorndike:
Never will you get a better psychological subject than a hungry cat.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
--Helen Thomson
John Updike:
A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share.
Cynthia E. Varnado:
It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.
Carl van Vechten:
A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained.
The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.
Robert J. Vogel:
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend.
Louis Wain:
I have myself found, the result of many years enquiry and study,
that all people who keep cats do not suffer from those petty ailments which all flesh is heir to.
Deng Xiaoping:
I don't care what color the cat is, as long as it catches the rat.
A cat is a lion to a mouse. - Albanian Proverb
All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese
Those who dislike cats will be carried to the cemetery in the rain.
- Dutch
An overdressed woman is like a cat dressed in saffron. - Egyptian
Handsome cats and fat dungheaps are the sign of a good farmer - French
If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake. - Indian
That cat that has its mouth burned by drinking hot milk will not drink even buttermilk without first blowing upon it. - Indian
When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined. - Persian
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands - Sanish
If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it will haunt you forever.
My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet.
Or as Schrodinger's wife once said, "What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead."
The visionary chooses a cat; the man of concrete a dog. Hamlet
must have kept a cat. Platonists, or cat lovers, include sailors,
painters, poets, and pickpockets. Aristotelians, or dog lovers, include soldiers, football players, and burglars.
Free to a good home - female cat or husband.
Husband says either he goes or cat goes.
Cat fixed, husband isn't.
- Ad in the Flint, Michigan Weekly World News
Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data.
- Anonymous science professor to student
Froward women were made from cats, just as most virtuous, industrious matroms were developed from beer.
I would have in my house - a reasonable woman - a cat moving among
the books.
Of all the creatures in the world, cats an' women has the hardest time.
If to her share some feline errors fall,
Look in her face, and you'll forgive them all.
Here lies a pretty cat:
Its mistress, who never loved anyone,
Loved it madly;
Why bother to say so? Everyone can see it.
- Epitaph on tombstone of cat, with full-relief detail of the deceased
Outside of a cat, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a cat,
it's too dark to read.
- Robert Ericson, Lilac Hedge Bookshop, Norwich, VT
LAW OF CAT INERTIA -
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
LAW OF CAT MOTION -
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
LAW OF PILL REJECTION -
Any pill given to a cat has potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
As I am delivering seven plates of breakfast to the two dogs and five cats at their various eating stations all over our three-story house, I usually just say quite honestly, "Hi, my name is Melissa and I will be your waitress for the day."
- MELISSA McIVOR
A drowsy winter evening is never quite drowsy enough without a sleeping cat.
- Author Unknown
If a cat has decided to love you, there's not a great deal you can do about it.
- Author Unknown
Cats allow us to love them, for which we should be duly grateful.
- Author Unknown
You don't train cats, they train you.
- Author Unknown
A dog is a dog, a bird is a bird, a cat is a person.
- Author Unknown
Cats could have ruled the universe but couldn't be bothered.
- Author Unknown
Cat food manufacturers haven't yet cottoned on to the fact that what cats really like is bolognaise sauce, cheese, ice-cream, potato crisps and anything Cordon Bleu.
- Author Unknown
Given a house full of carpets, shelves, cushions, chairs, window sills, any cat will choose to sleep on the document you are using.
- Author Unknown
The ultimate dream of a cat: food that will pet you while you're
eating it.
- RICHARD L. SUMMER
In Istanbul I met a man who said he knew beyond a doubt that God was a cat. I asked why he was so sure, and the man said, "When I pray to him, he ignores me."
- LOWELL THOMAS
A cat has nine lives and nine souls, and it must have nine guardian angels watching over it. Which would explain why the little fellow is so smug.
- KAREN FIELDS-HUTTON
When cats die, they pass through the Purrrrly Gates.
- CATWOMAN
God allows cats into Heaven just so He can keep an eye on them.
- DIXIE CARTER
Some say cats are devils, but they behave badly only when they are alone. When they are among us, cats are angels.
- GEORGE SAND
If you gave wings to a cat, it would not condescend to be a bird.
It would be an angel.
- DICK SHAWN
Peter said, "There is one thing I know'st, among cat angels highest and low'st. They arrive, don their wings, then of all wicked things, They use my Gates as their new scratching post!"
- St. Peter's Lament
Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels.
- MEL BROOKS
A cat will assume the shape of its container.
- Author Unknown
If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.
- Author Unknown
My dog thinks he's human.. My cat thinks he's GOD!
- Author Unknown
One fact that never remains hidden from cats is the sentiment a person holds towards them.
- Author Unknown
If we could talk to the animals, the longest waiting line would be for the cat.
- Author Unknown
Cats make their demands with such cunning that we respond to them as if they had made polite requests
- Author Unknown
Cats regard humans as warm-blooded furniture.
- Author Unknown
A cat is an attitude with fur.
- Author Unknown
He shut his eyes while Saha ]the cat] kept vigil, watching all the invisible signs that hover over sleeping human beings when the lights are put out.
- COLETTE
Until one has loved an animal, part of one's soul remains unawakened.
- ANATOLE FRANCE
A true cat lover cradles a new kitten and knows that nine lives will never be nearly enough...
- Author Unknown
Heaven ... would have to be a place lined with cat bellies.
- L. F. HOFFMAN
Cats don't mind sharing the bed with fellow cats, as long as the area is equitably divided among them. Usually there is room for everyone on a first-come-first-served basis - under the blanket, on top of the blanket, on the pillow, under the pillow, at the head of the bed, at the foot of the bed, in that order. Any space left over goes to the owner.
- STEPHEN BAKER
. . . Cats only occupy space and think about three things: food, sex and nothing. If they're neutered that leaves food.
- PENNY WARD MOSER
Cats do care: For example, they know instinctively what time we have to
be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the
alarm goes off.
- MICHAEL NELSON
You are asleep. Deep, deep asleep - and then the world caves in. The cat has leapt from the top window onto your stomach. He is saturated. He is hungry. He taps you into full wakefulness with a sodden paw "Could you open a can?"
- PAM BROWN
A cat likes to hear you calling him. He sits in a bush a yard from
your shoes - and listens.
- PAM BROWN
You can feel an awful fool standing at the bottom of the garden yelling pussy, pussy, pussy across a totally deserted meadow. Especially when you realise that pussy, pussy, pussy is watching you, with benign interest, from the shelter of the garden shed.
- MARCIA FISCHER
We have a cat that doesn't even bother to run after mice. She just lies around waiting for the gold-fish bowl to break.
- from "LAUGH-A-MINUTE"
Cats have led us every step of the way. Teaching us the importance of unconditional love, and the value of a really good afternoon nap.
- Author Unknown
A kitten is infinitely more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with in the world.
- LADY MORGAN
The cat does not negotiate with the mouse.
- ROBERT K. MASSIE
It's said in publishing that no cat book ever loses money. Maybe it's true: bibliophiles tend to be ailurophiles, and both are tenacious breeds.
- EMILY TOTH
Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue.
- SIDNEY DENHAM
A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.
- WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
A cat may look at a king.
- ENGLISH PROVERB
I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of
honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for a
characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep
silent for long period of time.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.
- COLETTE
It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see.
- ELEANOR FARJEON
Even if you have just destroyed a Ming vase, purr.
Usually all will be forgiven.
- LENNY RUBENSTEIN
Because his long white whiskers tickled, I began every day laughing.
- JANET F. FAURE
A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste,
really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys.
- BARBARA HOLLAND
Sure, it's clean laundry. The cat's sleeping on it, isn't he?
- Author Unknown
To a cat,"NO!" means "Not while I'm looking."
- Author Unknown
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
- Author Unknown
The difference between a cat and a dog is that a cat can bark .... and doesn't.
- Author Unknown
When dogs leap onto your bed it's because they adore being close to you. When cats leap onto your bed it's because they adore your bed.
-- Alisha Everett
If you call a cat and it comes running, what you have is a dog.
- Author Unknown
Dogs teach you how to love. Cats teach you how to live.
- Author Unknown
And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts... except, of course, for cats.
- Felines: 4 - 17
My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.
- Author Unknown
Even ugly cats are cute.
- G. PHILLIPS
A home without cats is like a garden without flowers.
- Author Unknown
If it's not tied down, it's a cat toy.
- Author Unknown
Cats love cat haters because cat haters don't pick them up and talk baby talk to them as they cuddle, pet, and squeeze the life out of them. Cats particularly like people who are to them because then they can rub against their legs without being bothered. Don't bother to pretend you like cats to keep them away; they can tell.
- ANDREW FROTHINGHAM & TRIPP EVANS
The cat lets Man support her. But unlike the dog, she is no handlicker. Further more, unlike Man's other great good friend the horse, the cat is no sweating serf of Man. The only labor she condescends to perform is to catch mice and rats, and that's fun.
- VANCE PACKARD
When it comes to the advantages of cats versus dogs as pets, there is no competition. Try going away for a weekend, leaving your German Shepherd alone with a bowl of dry food, some water, and a litter box...
- ROBERT STEARNS
Dogs will drop everything and come when you call. Cats check their schedule and fit you in.
- Author Unknown
No outfit is complete without cat hair.
- Author Unknown
" 'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone."
--Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
"Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort." --Paul Corey, Do Cats Think?
...the only identification that would be inscribed on any cat's collar would be 'This is the cat's cat.'
--Elmer Davis, On Being Kept by a Cat
If you want to know what a tiger is like, look at a cat. --Hindu proverb
The cat's a saint when there are no mice about. --Japanese proverb
"For every house is incompleat without him, and a blessing is lacking in the spirit." --Christopher Smart - English poet
"If there was any petting to be done...he chose to do it. Often he would
sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented.
" --Charles Dudley Warner, "Calvin"
"I wish you could see the two cats drowsing side by side in a Victorian nursing chair, their paws, their ears, their tails complementally adjusted, their blue eyes blinking open on a single thought of when I shall remember it's their supper time. They might have been composed by Bach for two flutes."
--Sylvia Townsend Warner - English writer
Lloyd Alexander:
Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as
much fun.
Cleveland Amory:
Cats talk with their tails.
Matthew Arnold:
Cruel, but composed and bland,
Dumb, inscrutable and grand,
So Tiberius might have sat,
Had Tiberius been a cat.
Alan Ayckbourn:
Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.
Peggy Bacon:
I cannot exist without a catLife would not be worth living without a cat.
Oswald Barron:
She knows that nine lives are enough.
Drew Barrymore:
If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him.
Charles Baudelaire:
Both ardent lovers and austere scholars, when once they come to the years of discretion, love cats, so strong and gentle, the pride of the household, who like them are sensitive to the cold, and sedentary.
Margaret Benson:
A plate is distasteful to a cat, a newspaper still worse; they like to eat sticky pieces of meat sitting on a cushioned chair or a nice Persian rug.
A cat must either have beauty and breeding, or it must have a
profession.
Ambrose Bierce:
Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
R. H. Blyth:
I myself think to have a cat is more important than to have a Bible.
Elayne Boosler:
A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.
Charles J. Brady:
The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat.
Edward Burlingame:
I love cats. I even think we have one at home.
There is something about the presence of a catthat seems to take the bite out of being alone.
Karel Capek:
Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust a cat because she knows her better than we do.
William H. A. Carr:
Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon them.
Jacob Cats:
If one owns a pretty cat, it's best to avoid the furrier.
Jules Champfleury:
The love of dress is very marked in this attractive animal. He is proud of the lustre of his coat, and cannot endure that a hair of it shall lie the wrong way.
Chaucer:
Take a cat, nourish it well with milk
And tender meat, make it a couch of silk,
But let it see a mouse along the wall
And it abandones milk and meat and all.
Susy Clemens (daughter of author Mark Twain):
Momma loves morals and Papa loves cats.
I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of
honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for a characteristic
aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
period of time.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.
William Cowper:
A poet's cat, sedate and grave
As a poet well could wish to have...
Nelson A. Crawford:
The cat lives his own life; he expects you to live yours.
Patricia Dale-Green:
There is one way in which cats differ from all other animals and that is in the effect they have on human beings.
Bernos de Gasztold:
Wouldn't You like someday
To put a curse on the whole race of dogs?
If so, I should say, Amen.
Mary Abigail Dodge:
What's virtue in a man can't be vice in a cat.
T. S. Eliot:
When a Cat adopts you there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes.
Ebenezer Elliott:
If 'twere not for my cat and dog, I think I could not live.
Lee Entrekin:
Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.
Anthony Henderson Euwer:
Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain't no cat wuz ever dumb.
Frangois Fossier:
Cats are forever.
Thomas Fuller:
Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one.
Theophile Gautier:
The cat is a dilettante in fur.
Delphine Gay:
The catlike man is one upon whom no tricks can be played with success.
Elizabeth Hamilton:
Which is the more beautiful, feline movement or feline stillness?
Gail Hamilton:
What's virtue in a man can't be virtue in a cat.
Lynn Hollyn:
Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him.
If left to their own devices, felines tend to nap and nibble throughout the day and night, scarcely differentiating between the two.
J. K. Huysmans:
In the matter of animals I love only cats, but I love them unreasonably for their qualities and in spite of their numerous faults. I have only one, but I could not live without a cat.
Lesley Anne Ivory:
Cats are glorious creatures who must on no accounts be underestimated...
Their eyes are fathomless depths of cat-world mysteries.
Andrew Lang:
Of all animals, the cat alone attains to the comtemplative life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha.
Sharon Lundblad:
A cat is a very special friend who comes into your life. When it comes it brings warmth, companionship, contentment and love. Whether it's long-haired, short-haired, pedigreed or "heinz" makes no difference. A cat, though independent, has a way of letting you know that without you life just wouldn't be worthwhile.
If you're lucky enough to own a cat consider yourself one of life's winners because when you have a cat around you'll never be lonely; the sound of its purr will give you comfort, and as you hold it and pet it, stress will slip away.
Groucho Marx:
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going
somewhere.
James Mason:
Cats do not have to be show how to have a good time, for they are
unfailing ingenious in that respect.
Lady Sydney Morgan:
The playful kitten with its pretty little tigerish gambole is infinitely more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with in the world.
Ogden Nash:
The trouble with a kitten is that,
Eventually....it becomes a cat!
P. J. O'Rourke:
Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have.
Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess many of the same qualities as some people (expensive girlfriends, for instance) that it's often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.
Hank Roll:
If cats seem distant and aloof it is because this is not their native planet - they are here just to visit and dominate.
William Shakespeare:
A harmless, necessary cat.
John Simon:
I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.
Robert Southey:
Ah! Little do you know how swiftly fly
The venomed darts of feline jealousy.
Jane Taylor:
I like little Pussy, her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.
John Updike:
A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share.
Cynthia E. Varnado:
It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.
Carl van Vechten:
A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained.
The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.
Jules Verne:
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.
Deng Xiaoping:
I don't care what color the cat is, as long as it catches the rat.
All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese
An overdressed woman is like a cat dressed in saffron. - Egyptian
Handsome cats and fat dungheaps are the sign of a good farmer - French
If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake. - Indian
That cat that has its mouth burned by drinking hot milk will not drink even buttermilk without first blowing upon it. - Indian
When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined. - Persian
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. --Spanish
If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it will haunt you forever.
My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet.
Or as Schrodinger's wife once said, "What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead."
Free to a good home - female cat or husband.
Husband says either he goes or cat goes.
Cat fixed, husband isn't.
- Ad in the Flint, Michigan Weekly World News
Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data.
- Anonymous science professor to student
Froward women were made from cats, just as most virtuous, industrious matrons were developed from beer.
I would have in my house - a reasonable woman - a cat moving among
the books.
Of all the creatures in the world, cats an' women has the hardest time.
If to her share some feline errors fall,
Look in her face, and you'll forgive them all.
Here lies a pretty cat:
Its mistress, who never loved anyone,
Loved it madly;
Why bother to say so? Everyone can see it.
- Epitaph on tombstone of cat, with full-relief detail of the deceased
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
It's always blackest just before you step on the cat. Unknown
The cat stands alone, distinct outindividualizing every individual. A Ship of Solace.
My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.
Cats may sense early on that you don't like paw prints on your butter, but they will jump onto any surface in the home as long as no one sees it happen. --Kathy Young
Apparently, through scientific research, it has been determined that a cat's affection gland is stimulated by snoring, thus explaining my cat's uncontrollable urge to rub against my face at 2 a.m.
--Terri L. Haney
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Unknown
Cats can derive their nutrition from the air they breathe until you get the message that the Fish Fin Buffet you put in their bowl three days ago will never be acceptable. Kathy Young
It's always blackest just before you step on the cat. Unknown
If human, cats might play solitare, but they would never sit around with the gang and a few six-packs watching Monday Night Football.
Time Magazine, Dec.7, 1981
A mouse in the paws is worth two in the pantry. Louis Wain
We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he comes to the house the cat sits on his knee. Unknown
Cats know how we feel; they just don't give a damn. Unknown
Okay, cats will never bring you pictures they've drawn in school, but they may give you a dead mouse. What parent could resist that gift?
--Terri L. Haney
A cat knows you are the key to his happiness... a man thinks he is.
-- Unknown
A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other.
-- Blaga Dimitrova
Cats never feel threatened. They are genetically incapable of accepting that anyone could possibly dislike anything as perfect as a cat.
-- Kathy Young
All you have to remember is Rule 1: When in doubt - Wash.
-- Paul Gallico
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes.
Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
-- Bette Midler
Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them.
-- Unknown
A cat will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds. -- Unknown
Does the father figure in your cat's life ever clean the litter box? My husband claims that men lack the scooping gene.
-- Barbara L. Diamond
While you might see a cat on a hot tin roof, a dog on a hot tin roof would be yowling its head off. Dr. Bruce Fogle
If you put down food and the cat eats, it's hungry. If it doesn't,
it isn't. -- Larry Madrid
You must set down all the rules to your cat at the beginning of your relationship. You cannot add rules as you go along. Once these rules are set, you must never, under any circumstances, break any of them. Dare to break a rule, and you will never live it down. Trust me.
-- Kathy Young
Cats are just little hair factories. James Davis, D.V.M.
If you can remember how many cats you have, you don't have enough.
-- Unknown
Cats don't bark and act brave when they see something small in fur or feathers, they kill it. Dogs tend to bravado. They're braggarts. In the great evolutionary drama the dog is Sergeant Bilko, the cat is Rambo. -- James Gorman
Never underestimate the power of a purr. Anonymous
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
-- Steven Wright
The difference between a cat and a dog: A dog thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, they must be gods. A cat thinks: They feed me, they shelter me, they love me, I must be GOD. Unknown
Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels, and their bath towels look a collection of knitting mistakes.
-- Eric Gurney
As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2,400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
-- Scott Adams, Dilbert's creator, on the ending of Calvin & Hobbes
How do cats decide when to jump suddenly up from where they were sitting comfortably curled up and dash madly around the room, knocking over everything they encounter? Fuzzy logic. Andrew Koenig
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Do not allow long hair black cats to sleep atop laser printers and tape drives. The black hair is almost invisible in black pattens, gears, and rollers. -- Jeff Liebermann
Last year a team of scientists published the results of an extensive study of cat language. They determined that although cats may demonstrate a wide variety of vocalizations, they actually only have two phrases that are translatable into human terms: 1. Hurry up with that food. 2. Everything here is mine. Unknown
Men and dogs will never understand what a woman sees in a cat. Anonymous
Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats. This influences their behavior in many ways. Unknown
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat. Unknown
I have an Egyptian cat. He leaves a pyramid in every room.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Cats don't kill birds.
They just play with 'em 'til they die. --Unknown
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