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Bullying Information and Resources To Help Prevent the Serious Problem of Bullying Bullying has become a tidal wave of epic proportions. Although bullying was once considered a rite of passage, parents, educators, and community leaders now see bullying as a devastating form of abuse that can have long-term effects on youthful victims, robbing them of self-esteem, isolating them from their peers, causing them to drop out of school, and even prompting health problems and suicide.A recent study by the Family and Work Institute?reported that one-third of youth are bullied at least once a month, while others say six out of 10 American teens witness bullying at least once a day. Witnessing bullying can be harmful, too, as it may make the witness feel helpless - or that he or she is the next target.Children who are bullied are often singled out because of a perceived difference between them and others, whether because of appearance (size, weight, or clothes), intellect, or, increasingly, ethnic or religious affiliation and sexual orientation.And bullying can be a gateway behavior, teaching the perpetrator that threats and aggression are acceptable even in adulthood.? In one study by Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, nearly 60 percent of boys whom researchers classified as bullies in grades six to nine?were convicted of at least one crime by the age of 24, while 40 percent had three or more convictionsWhat Parents Can Do Advice for Parents and Adults About How To Deal With Bullying A big, tough kid stops a smaller kid on his way to school and threatens to hurt him unless he hands over his homework. The popular girls at school won't let anyone sit at their lunch table except their friends. These two bullying scenarios and others happen more often than most adults realize. Seventy-four percent of eight?to 11-year-olds say teasing and bullying happen at their school. But what exactly is bullying?Bullying isFighting, threatening, name-calling, teasing, or excluding someone repeatedly and over time An imbalance of power, such as size or popularity Physical, social, and?emotional harm Hurting?another person to get something?Many parents don't think that bullying is as big?a problem as bringing a weapon to school?or drug use but its effects can be severe and long lasting. Every day, nearly 160,000 children miss school because they are scared of bullying, according to the National Education Association. Bullying doesn't only negatively affect its victims, but also the bullies themselves.Kids who are bullied are more likely toDo poorly in school Have low self-esteem Be depressed Turn to violent behavior to protect themselves or get revenge on their bulliesKids who bully are more likely toDo poorly in school Smoke and drink alcohol Commit crimes in the futureParents can play a central role to preventing bullying and stopping it when it happens. Here are a few things you can do.Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they do. Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help their build self-esteem. Help give them the self-confidence to stand up for what they believe in. Ask your children about their day and listen to them talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have. Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been?bullied. You may only have one chance to step in and help. If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying. Encourage your child to help others who need it. Don't bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many times kids who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do so themselves. Support bully prevention programs in your child's school. If your school doesn't have one, consider starting one?with other parents, teachers, and concerned adults.For more information on bullying, read the articles below and visit the Health Resources and Services Administration's Stop Bullying Now! Campaign.When Your Child Is BulliedMany kids are embarrassed to be bullied and may not tell their parents or another adult right away. If your child comes to you and asks for help with a bully, take it seriously. Many times, if kids aren't taken seriously the first time they ask for help, they don't ask again.Even if your child doesn't turn to you for help, you can watch for these warning signs that he or she is being bullied. Kids who are bullied often experienceWithdrawal A loss of friends A drop in grades A loss of interest in activities he or she previously enjoyed Torn clothing Bruises A need for extra money or supplies If you think your child is being bullied or if your child has told you that he or she is being bullied, you can help. Parents are often the best resource to build a child's self-confidence and?teach him or her how to best solve problems. Here are a few ways you can helpTalk to your child's teacher about it instead of confronting the bully's parents. If the teacher doesn't act to stop the bullying, talk to the principal. Teach your child nonviolent ways to deal with bullies, like walking away, playing with friends, or talking it out. Help your child act with self-confidence. With him or her, practice walking upright, looking people in the eye, and speaking clearly. Don't encourage your child to fight. This could lead to him or her getting hurt, getting in trouble, and beginning more serious problems with the bully. Involve your child in activities outside of school. This way he or she can make friends in a different social circle. Some children seem to be bullied all the time, while others?rarely get picked on. Why do some kids seem to attract all of the bullies? Kids who are bullied oftenAre different from other kids, whether by size, race, sexually, or have different interests Seem weak, either physically or emotionally Are insecure Want approval Won't tell on their bullies When Your Child Is a BullyIt's hard for any parent to believe that their child is a bully, but sometimes it happens. But just because your child bullies doesn't mean that he or she will bully forever. Parents are one of the best resources to help their child stop bullying and start interacting positively with their classmates.Your child may bully if, he or she Lacks empathy and doesn't sympathize with others Values aggression Likes to be in charge Is an arrogant winner and a sore loser Often fights often with brothers and sisters Is impulsive What you can do to stop your child from bullying Take it seriously. Don't treat bullying as a passing phase. Even if you're not worried about long-lasting effects on your child, another child is being hurt. Talk to your child to find out why he or she is bullying. Often, children bully when they feel sad, angry, lonely, or insecure and many times major changes at home or school may bring on these feelings. Help build empathy for others and talk to your child about how it feels to be bullied. Ask a teacher or a school counselor if your child is facing any problems at school, such as if your child is struggling with a particular subject or has difficulty making friends. Ask them for advice on how you and your child can work through the problem. Ask yourself if someone at home is bullying your child. Often, kids who bully are bullied themselves by a parent, family member, or another adultWhat to Teach Kids about Bullying Facts and advice to help kids overcome bullying Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around, such as in between classes, at lunch or recess, after school, and online. Still, bullying rarely takes place without an audience - kids are around to see bullying 85 percent of the time. But even though they see it, kids usually don’t try to stop bullying, and may even be unknowingly encouraging it.Most of the time that kids witness bullying, they stand by passively. This causes bullying to last longer because it reinforces the bullies’ power and status, two reasons that people bully. Most kids don’t want to watch bullying, and don’t want it to happen at all. But many kids don’t know how to do this and worry that by stepping in they might become the next victim. These worries, and witnessing verbal and physical abuse, take a toll on bystanders.Possible Effects on Bystanders:Feel angry, helpless, and guilty. Don’t feel safe where bullying takes place, like in certain hallways in school, on the bus, in the park, or online. Fear of becoming the next victimTwo out of three kids want to help when they see bullying, and helping out is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying and prevent it from happening again. When friends help out, 57 percent of the time bullying stops in 10 seconds (Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig, Social Development, 2001).There are effective and safe ways for kids to step in and help others being bullied.Some work better in certain situations than others. You can help kids decide when to use each method by role-playing bullying situations with them. Remember to emphasize that kids should only step in when they feel safe.Walk away. This shows bullies that their behavior is not funny or okay. Speak up. Tell bullies that what they are doing is wrong. By saying, “that’s not funny, let’s get out of here” or something similar, kids can stand up for each other. This may also give other bystanders the confidence to speak up or walk away. Be a friend. Sometimes kids get picked on because they don’t have any friends or anyone to stand up for them. When kids befriend someone being bullied, bullies are less likely to pick on them. Friendship can also give children the support and the confidence to stand up for themselves. Ask others to help. When more kids stand up to bullies, the bullies will be more likely to realize their actions are not okay. Get an adult. Sometime kids who are bullied are scared to ask an adult for help because they think it will make the bullying worse. Kids can help by telling an adult what is happening, or going to speak to an adult with kids being bullied.What You Can DoStanding up to peers is a hard thing to do for people of all ages. But you can make it easier for kids by giving them the confidence and the support they need to do so. Here are some ways parents can help children develop these traits:Teach children to be assertive. Emphasize peaceful ways to solve problems and encourage kids to stand up for themselves verbally, not violently. Show kids safe ways to help others. Make it clear that you expect kids to take action if they see someone being hurt, or if they are hurt themselves. Hold kids accountable. If children stand by and watch someone being bullied, make it clear that their behavior hurts the victim too. Get to know their friends. Encourage your children to invite their friends to your home or accompany you on family outings. Be a good example. If you see someone being bullied or hurt, help them. Build empathy in your kids. If you see examples of people being bullied or hurt in movies, television, or books, talk with your children about how these people must feel. Ask your children how they would feel in that situation and what they would do to make it better. Point out ways characters helped out, or didn’t, and have your children think up different ways to help. Help them develop social skills. From a young age, encourage your children to play with others and to be friends with many different people. Have them spend time with people of different ages, backgrounds, races, ethnicities, religions, and mental and physical abilities.Girls and Bullying When most people picture a " typical " bully, they imagine a boy who is bigger or older than . . . When most people picture a "typical" bully, they imagine a boy who is bigger or older than his classmates, who doesn't do well in school, who fights, and who likes it when others are scared of him. Girls usually face a different type of bully, one who may not look as scary from the outside but who can cause just as much harm.What's She LikeThe typical girl who bullies is popular, well-liked by adults, does well in school, and can even be friends with the girls she bullies. She doesn't get into fist fights, although some girls who bully do. Instead, she spreads rumors, gossips, excludes others, shares secrets, and teases girls about their hair, weight, intelligence, and athletic ability. She usually bullies in a group and others join in or pressure her to bully.The EffectsThis kind of bullying can have just as serious consequences as physical bullying. It can cause a drop in grades, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, drug use, and poor eating habits in girls who are bullied. This kind of bullying is harder to see. Most of the time adults don't realize when girls are being bullied in this way.What You Can DoOne of the best ways to stop this form of bullying is for the girls who see it or who are stuck in the middle to speak up and say that it is not okay. But only 15 percent of girls speak up, usually because they're afraid the bully will turn on them next. Parents and other adults can help girls beat bullying by teaching them how to stand up for themselves and their friends and by taking action themselves. Here are a few things to remember:Encourage kids to be kind and to help others, particularly if they see someone being bullied. Praise them when they do so. Tell girls they are special, and point out why. Help girls get involved in activities outside of school so they can make friends in different social circles. Don't push girls to be in the "right" class or on the "right" sports team. Let them choose what to play and with whom. Stop bullying when you see it. Don't let anyone, even your daughter, make fun of someone else even if she says she is only "joking." Be a good example. Don't gossip or make fun of others in front of young girls. Talk to girls about their friends, what they do together, and how they treat each other. Ask them what makes a good friend, and whether their friends have these qualities. If you know bullying is happening at school, speak to school officials and ask what they are doing to stop itCyberbullying Information and resources to curb the growing problem of cyberbullying Young people are using the Internet more than ever and most have Internet access from home. For many children, the Internet isn't simply a convenient way to research or a fun afterschool activity - it's a big part of their social life. Emailing and chatting with friends are children's most common online activities, after studying and playing games. But like many other social situations, some kids bully other kids online.Cyberbullying is similar to other types of bullying, except it takes place online and through text messages sent to cell phones. Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victims.What is Cyberbullying? An explanation of the growing phenomenon of cyberbullying Young people are using the Internet more than ever and most have Internet access from home. For many children, the Internet isn't simply a convenient way to research or a fun afterschool activity - it's a big part of their social life. Emailing and chatting with friends are children's most common online activities, after studying and playing games. But like many other social situations, some kids bully other kids online.Cyberbullying is similar to other types of bullying, except it takes place online and through text messages sent to cell phones. Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victims.Some examples of ways kids bully online areSending someone mean or threatening emails, instant messages, or text messages Excluding someone from an instant messenger buddy list or blocking their email for no reason Tricking someone into revealing personal or embarrassing information and sending it to others Breaking into someone's email or instant message account to send cruel or untrue messages while posing as that person Creating websites to make fun of another person such as a classmate or teacher Using websites to rate peers as prettiest, ugliest, etc.Both boys and girls sometimes bully online and just as in face-to-face bullying, tend to do so in different ways. Boys more commonly bully by sending messages of a sexual nature or by threatening to fight or hurt someone. Girls more often bully by spreading rumors and by sending messages that make fun of someone or exclude others.? They also tell secrets.The Effects of CyberbullyingVictims of cyberbullying may experience many of the same effects as children who are bullied in person, such as a drop in grades, low self-esteem, a change in interests, or depression. However cyberbullying can seem more extreme to its victims because of several factors:It occurs in the child's home. Being bullied at home can take away the place children feel most safe. It can be harsher. Often kids say things online that they wouldn't say in person, mainly because they can't see the other person's reaction.? It can be far reaching. Kids can send emails making fun of someone to their entire class or school with a few clicks, or post them on a website for the whole world to see. It can be anonymous. Cyberbullies often hide behind screen names and email addresses that don't identify who they are. Not knowing who is responsible for bullying messages can add to a victim's insecurity. It may seem inescapable. It may seem easy to get away from a cyberbully by just getting offline, but for some kids not going online takes away one of the major places they socialize.Cyberbullying can be a complicated issue, especially for adults who are not as familiar with using the Internet, instant messenger, or chat rooms as kids. But like more typical forms of bullying, it can be prevented when kids know how to protect themselves and parents are available to help.What Parents Can Do About Cyberbullying Parents can help stop cyberbullying. You can start by talking to kids about the issue. Parents can help stop cyberbullying. You can start by talking to kids about the issue and teaching them the rules below that will help prevent cyberbullying from happening to them or someone they know.What Kids Need to Know:Never give out personal information online, whether in instant message profiles, chat rooms, blogs, or personal websites. Never tell anyone but your parents your password, even friends.? If someone sends a mean or threatening message, don't respond. Save it or print it out and show it to an adult. Never open emails from someone you don't know or from someone you know is a bully. Don't put anything online that you wouldn't want your classmates to see, even in email. Don't send messages when you're angry. Before clicking "send," ask yourself how you would feel if received the message. Help kids who are bullied online by not joining in and showing bullying messages to an adult.? Always be as polite online as you are in person. Since most cyberbullying takes place at home, it's important that parents know about cyberbullying and that they get involved in preventing it. Just like parents help their kids avoid inappropriate websites, they can protect them from cyberbullying.What Parents Can Do Keep your home computer is a busy area of your house. Set up email and chat accounts with your children. Make sure that you know their screen names and passwords and that they don't include any personal information in their online profiles. Regularly go over their instant messenger "buddy list" with them. Ask who each person is and how your children know him or her. Print this list of commonly used acronyms in instant messenger and chat rooms from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and post it by your computer. Discuss cyberbullying with your children and ask if they have ever experienced it or seen it happen to someone. Tell your children that you won't blame them if they are cyberbullied. Emphasize that you won't take away their computer privileges - this is the main reason kids don't tell adults when they are cyberbullied.Cyberbullying FAQ For Teens Information and answers to frequently asked questions about cyberbullying If you’re like most teenagers, you spend a lot of time on a cell phone or instant messenger chatting with friends and uploading photos, videos, and music to websites. You may have online friends whom you’ve never met in person, with whom you play games and exchange messages. Teens’ lives exist in a variety of places such as school hallways, part-time jobs, and friends’ houses. Now many teens also have lives on the Internet. And bullying has followed teens online.Online bullying, called cyberbullying, happens when teens use the Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. Cyberbullying is a problem that affects almost half of all American teens. Whether you’ve been a victim of cyberbullying, know someone who has been cyberbullied, or have even cyberbullied yourself, there are steps you and your friends can take to stop cyberbullying and stay cyber-safe.How Are Teens Cyberbullied?Being a victim of cyberbullying can be a common and painful experience. Some youth who cyberbullyPretend they are other people online to trick others Spread lies and rumors about victims Trick people into revealing personal information Send or forward mean text messages Post pictures of victims without their consentWhen teens were asked why they think others cyberbully, 81 percent said that cyberbullies think it’s funny. Other teens believe that youth who cyberbullyDon’t think it’s a big deal Don’t think about the consequences Are encouraged by friends Think everybody cyberbullies Think they won’t get caughtHow Do Victims React?Contrary to what cyberbullies may believe, cyberbullying is a big deal, and can cause a variety of reactions in teens. Some teens have reacted in positive ways to try to prevent cyberbullying byBlocking communication with the cyberbully Deleting messages without reading them Talking to a friend about the bullying Reporting the problem to an Internet service provider or website moderatorMany youth experience a variety of emotions when they are cyberbullied. Youth who are cyberbullied report feeling angry, hurt, embarrassed, or scared. These emotions can cause victims to react in ways such asSeeking revenge on the bully Avoiding friends and activities Cyberbullying backSome teens feel threatened because they may not know who is cyberbullying them. Although cyberbullies may think they are anonymous, they can be found. If you are cyberbullied or harassed and need help, save all communication with the cyberbully and talk to a parent, teacher, law enforcement officer, or other adult you trust.How Can I Prevent Cyberbullying?Teens have figured out ways to prevent cyberbullying. Follow in the footsteps of other quick-thinking teens andRefuse to pass along cyberbullying messages Tell friends to stop cyberbullying Block communication with cyberbullies Report cyberbullying to a trusted adultYou can also help prevent cyberbullying bySpeaking with other students, as well as teachers and school administrators, to develop rules against cyberbullying Raising awareness of the cyberbullying problem in your community by holding an assembly and creating fliers to give to younger kids or parents Sharing NCPC’s anti-cyberbullying message with friendsDon’t forget that even though you can’t see a cyberbully or the bully’s victim, cyberbullying causes real problems. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online. Delete cyberbullying. Don’t write it. Don’t forward it.What Else Can I Do To Stay Cyber-safe?Remember that the Internet is accessed by millions of people all over the world, not just your friends and family. While many Internet users are friendly, some may want to hurt you. Below are some ways to stay cyber-safe:Never post or share your personal information online (this includes your full name, address, telephone number, school name, parents’ names, credit card number, or Social Security number) or your friends’ personal information. Never share your Internet passwords with anyone, except your parents. Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online. Talk to your parents about what you do online.For More InformationCheck out the following resources to learn more about preventing cyberbullying:Cyberbullying.us provides cyberbullying research, stories, cases, downloads, fact sheets, tips and strategies, news headlines, a blog, and a number of other helpful resources on their comprehensive public service website. has a fun quiz to rate your online behavior, information about why some people cyberbully, and how to stop yourself from cyberbullying. provides information about what to do if you are cyberbullied. has information about what you can do to stop bullying.All statistics from the 2006 Harris Interactive Cyberbullying Research Report, commissioned by the National Crime Prevention Council. ................
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