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Bismillahirahman niraheem Asalamualykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu my dear respected sisters and friends. Jazakalllah for attending virtually today – I hope you all are well IntroductionMentimeter – Slide 1 - How did this week go? Did you trial any methods and how did it work for you?Structure of the session Recap from last week What prevents us from being productive? (Mentimeter slide 2) Procrastination definition - the action of delaying or postponing something: Example – When you a deadline looming and you sit down to work on it, but your brain tells you: “Oh let me check new the Covid 19 update”, “Oh yh I missed my mums call let me ring her back”, you get distracted by a tab that’s already open on your laptop and the list goes on until time has run out. Why do we procrastinate?types of procrastinators: Fun procrastinator - The fun procrastinator would rather be doing anything except that one dreaded task. After all, there’s so many fun and exciting things you could be doing instead, how can you bear to start that boring project?‘Plenty of time procrastinator - Many people find it difficult to start a project when they know the deadline is a long way off. This type of procrastination is clearly visible in students who often struggle to start an essay earlier than a few days before the deadline.Perfectionist procrastinator - Perfectionists are always striving for the best and, as such, are constantly criticizing their own work. For some perfectionists, the fear of failing, or producing work to a low standard, can be so overwhelming they never actually get around to starting anything.Ways to beat procrastination – 4 main ways we are going to discuss today Eat the frog Self-discipline Making a start is the hardest thing Be your own cheerleader EAT THE FROG - Which frog would you eat first? Why? What eat the frog means? It the biggest task you have to do of the day and might not necessarily be your most favourite task but you have to get it done. It’s the one you will procrastinate the most about and leave it for as long as it can be left. Why is it called the frog? Ugly – Who would want to eat a frog? You don’t want to eat it. What is your frog? It is important to be aware of what your frogs are so with that awareness you can tackle them. My frog at work – teaching is marking – I absolutely love my profession, my students and what I do. But I hate marking and can’t get away without it. What is your frog? What do you need to do – EAT THE FROG – first thing in the morning. If you had to eat a frog by the end of tomorrow what would you be thinking about all day? Where’s your mind? Emotions? Feelings? All the energy is spent on the frog – even if you are procrastination with leisure tasks you feel guilty because there is a cloud over your mind and that’s the frog task that you still need to do. I know its hard and you don’t want to do but if you do it first thing in the morning you can actually reward yourself with the enjoyment of the rest of the day. Its done and dusted – behind you – don’t have to fear the frog all day long. For many of us getting started on the task is the hardest thing once we have started, we tell ourselves off for not starting any early. E.g. Exercise – you never really want to start doing it and when you’re in the middle of it or end your like yeh I should do this every day it feels like your own top of the world – proud of your achievement. Starting point was the hardest point of the task. Once you get going it’s not that bad. Once you start it – keep going – complete it – don’t stop till the end E.g. If you had to eat the ugly frog – would you want to stop and start again? If you stop and have to come back to finish it off in the afternoon then again – the dreaded thoughts, the nerves, the anxiety probably the sick feeling all over again. You would be telling yourself I should have just finished It all this morning. Now I’m not saying finish the entire BIG massive task at once but rather the smaller slices that you had set for yourself. E.g. Not cleaning the whole house – but the portion you had set for that day. Eating the frog first thing in the morning helps to beat procrastination – the hardest thing is now done nothing to procrastinate about. Starting and finishing a task brings me onto my next point – It needs you do exercise Self disciplineThis is the second solution to procrastination. Self-Discipline which is the exact opposite of procrastination that’s why it’s a solution to it. The ONLY difference between a productive Muslim and an unproductive person is their level of Discipline.Self – Discipline - SELF-DISCIPLINE is ‘doing what needs to be done even if you don’t want to do itWho controls us? Are our family? Kids? Work? Just excuses – need to be real with ourselves. Who ultimately is responsible if we have a productive day or not? Who is in loss if we end up wasting time? I AM – me – myself – I. “[…] Allah does not change a people until they change what is in themselves” (Qur’an 13: 11)I know some people are thinking right now, no its not me – how dare she say that – she doesn’t know what circumstance I live in – I have 6 children, difficulty in laws – financial burden – ill family members – yes I do understand – But they will not be answering on your behalf when Allah asks you that question - I gave you time how did you use it? Yes, we may have many things to do but we need to recognise how to manage them and despite the demands still have a productive day. E.g. We could be productive in how we look after our children, how we manage looking after an ill person, we need to be more productive in how we manage our family responsibilities. So, what is stopping us from being productive? I = Your NAFS –Your ego? what does it want to do? Nothing. Rather just sleep through Fajr, chill, watch movies, lounge around, not bothered to do anything productive. How can it be tamed – by self discipling it – I am sure many of you have tamed it in many regards e.g. How was it to wake up for fajr initially? Fast the long summer fasts of our UK summer Ramadan? We did it didn’t we – we didn’t give in to our nafs. It’s the same with healthy eating, doing exercise, working on your speech, what time you sleep all these things require you to practise self-discipline - SELF-DISCIPLINE is ‘doing what needs to be done even if you don’t want to do it’ – You make your self do it. Its that little conversation that goes on in YOUR head – Nah don’t do it, you’ve got better things to do, well start tomorrow, what will people think….and then on the other side you will get reward, it’ll be good for your hereafter ….. ) That’s why writing it down helps too because when you had a clear mind you decided to do these 3 to dos on the paper now, they are more superior to your own thoughts which are trying to distract you. You answer and confirmation is on the paper. In regards to how you use your time – it’s the same. You have to discipline your nafs (work against it – because all it wants to do is stay in bed all day and watch Netflix, scroll Instagram….) You won’t wake up one morning with perfect self-discipline – it is something you develop over time with much practise…. practise…practise.What do you practise? Choose one thing you want to work on – that you would like to have more self – discipline with – one thing would like to become a habit. Choose only one thing at a time to incorporate into your routine or improve.(That can be a problem too, that you get really fired up about being productive and implement everything said, add lots of new things to your routine for one week and then that’s it back to old you – it needs be a long-term change) so … One thing at a time only…. Then set a consequence to it and you have to follow it through no matter what! Could be a negative consequence if your miss it or a reward when you achieve it. E.g. If I miss your sunnah for Fajr because you woke up late - I am going to pray 4 nafl instead, fast all day or not post on social media (you don’t have to but you self imposes it on yourself to discipline yourself.). If I eat my frog first thing in the morning, I will reward myself with some reading time (something you enjoy). It is said that the nafs is like a child – reward it if does something good and punish it if it does something bad. (not too harsh or physical punishment) lol.And if you practise this day in day out it will become a habit – it is proven that it takes 30-40 days to create a habit. But you can do it! Who is going to encourage you to practise self-disciple, be more productive, not procrastinate, use to do list, embed new habits into your routine….? No one – You and you alone. 3.You are your own cheerleader! Yes, you may have a lovely supportive husband, friends, family, mentor, teacher who cheer you on but how regularly 3 times a day? I feel sometimes I need to discipline myself multiple times a day and your family/friend/teacher is not going to number one know what is going on in your head and when and number two is not always going to be there for you in every situation. Motive yourself to be the best you can beHave to be completely optimistic Control your thoughts Say things like ‘I like myself’ ‘I can do this’ Optimistic people: look for the good in every situation seek a valuable lesson in every difficulty look for the solution in every problem think and talk continually about your goals 4.Dua And make it a point to ask Allah daily to put blessing (baraka) into your time. Once you take the means, Allah facilitates.The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that Allah says, “When My servant draws near to Me by a handspan, I draw near to him by an arm’s length, and when My servant draws near to Me by an arm’s length, I draw near to him by two arms’ length, and when he comes to Me walking, I rush towards him.” [Bukhari]Only Allah alone can help us Turn to him He will help you Small matters also need Dua Gives you strength He is in charge of our affairs Dua + Action – Dua alone is not enough – need to combine this with all the points mentioned above Conclusion:Recap of session – 4 things New productive youFurther reading and reference Where you can find the ppt – blog link If you have any further questions you contact me through Instagram I pray what you have learnt in my sessions is not just useful for the lock down, but can be applied to Ramadan so that you can have a productive Ramadan and inshallah a productive life when we go back to normal too Please forgive me if I had said anything wrong or offended any one to you and please remember me, my family, our community, our masjid our scholars and the ummah in your humble duas and I pray that Allah allows us to become more productive servants only for his pleasure alone and accepts our efforts. Ameen ................
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