Introduction Paragraph — Narrative Essay



Introduction Paragraph — Narrative Essay

Your first lines—and your whole first paragraph—must HOOK your reader’s attention and keep it. Overall, your intro paragraph needs:

1. a killer first line (or few lines)

2. a small amount of background to let the reader know what overall story you’ll be telling

3. the fact that you learned a lesson from the incident—but don’t tell what the lesson was yet (save that for the last paragraph)

See the back of this sheet for different ways to hook your reader in.

Here are two different intro paragraphs for the “Barbie Massacre” essay. Which is best? Why?

Example 1

Their straggly strands of golden locks were scattered against the dark brown carpet. Their six decapitated heads with spiky, uneven hair lay just as randomly across the floor. And their bodies. How could I forget about their mangled, discolored corpses? No, this scene does not describe some psychotic axe murderer’s unfortunate victims. These casualties were my friends… my beloved Barbies. And the ruthless killer? My sister. Only someone as savage as Kara could inflict such damage to my dolls and my six-year-old soul. I will never forget coming home to this gruesome scene one Saturday morning in the cold of winter. She had massacred my Barbies, and for that, I will never forgive her. At a young age, I learned a bitter lesson about trust.

Example 2

My piercing cry could be heard even over the roaring vacuum. “MOM!” I shrieked as I turned the corner into the living room that Saturday morning and saw a sight not fit for the eyes of a sweet, innocent six-year-old girl. The overturned furniture and scattered miniature clothes were the first hints that something was amiss. And then I saw my Barbies, mangled and violated. Their heads, no longer attached to their bodies, were void of their sleek, blonde tresses. Their remaining uneven spikes of hair were carelessly streaked with bright blue and green, the result of gross misuse of Crayola markers. I was sickened by the thought of my sister completing such an act, probably with a filthy grin on her face. I was even more disgusted, however, at allowing myself to be tricked into leaving my precious toys unguarded while I went to play at my friend Mandy’s. A lesson, hard-earned, has always stayed with me since that frosty winter morning.

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