God – The Role Model For Parents:It May Not Be What You …



Who I Believe We Should Imitate If We Wish To Be Great Parents

I believe the Bible doesn’t give a lot of instructions on parenting, because it was assumed we understood to emulate our heavenly Parent in our relationship with our own children. God could have referred to Himself just as a King or Ruler; instead, God referred to Himself more often in familial/parental terms. We humans can’t be like God exactly, but we are made in His image. Earthly parents aren’t sinless so unfortunately children will use their parents’ sins as excuses for their own behaviors. God is the only parent we can’t tune out for that reason. God doesn’t give uninformed advice, for after all He is the Creator. But, if we can come close to parenting our children as God has His children we will have done a great job. Understanding God’s character enables us to glean insights into the parenting role. I suppose a great parenting book would be to study many successful parents and see what key characteristics they have in common, but we can do even better by studying Scriptures what God says about Himself as a Parent.

Personally, I best capture God’s essence when I think of my Creator as my Perfect Heavenly Parent. The gods of the nations in biblical times were described as either male or female. By contrast, the Jews did not speculate about the “masculinity” of God, and God is never ever referred to as male. We must be careful to not make God too human, to assume God is more male simply because there are English language limitations when referring to God by gender. Most languages do not have gender-neutral pronouns. God cannot be referred to without using either he or she, but God is never referred to as a “male” or “female” in the Bible. It is not significant that God is referred more often in male terminology than female. The biblical authors used whatever term appropriate for the audience they were writing to. Likely, part of the reason for more male references is the patriarchal cultures the writers lived in. Similarly, Jesus had to be either male or female, as opposed to both, or He could not have been said to come in human form. But, we should not make too much of Jesus’ maleness or that He was a Jew rather than Gentile male. Jesus’ gender and nationality depended on how God could best fulfill his Promises. God elected the Jewish nation through Jesus to be a blessing to all Nations.

God obviously desires an intimate relationship. Why would he dare send Jesus to the earth if He weren’t constantly pursing us? Parents much realize the kind of relationship they have with their child - especially in the teenage years - is critical. Rules without a relationship are a sure recipe for rebellion whether it is in adult work relationships or parent child relationships. Do not buy into the myth that children cannot really respect their parents until they are grown. Children during the pre-adolescent years often want to please their parents, due to the nature of the relationship. Teenagers are less preoccupied with this, thus parental influence by the nature of the relationship becomes even more critical. Though God could, He does not take absolute control in the relationship. God attempts to influence by earning our respect. God invites us to receive His help, or there are natural consequences. This is the same model human parents must use as their children move from dependency toward independency.

God obviously believes in absolutes. Parents must have a moral compass as God did by passing down the Ten Commandments for successful societies. Don’t fool yourself into thinking absolutes are mainly about cleanliness, looks, careers you pursue. Since when has God told you what you must be when you grow up? Parents should draw lines in the sand as God did when moral laws were being violated. Children are not free to be abusive, they are not free to use illegal drugs and violate other civil laws. But, God is a forgiver. He draws the line and warns us to not cross it. How many times though have we crossed that line? When we choose to come back to our heavenly Parent, He awaits. There may be consequences suffered, but He doesn’t keep bringing it up. Imagine if every parent didn’t harp on every mistake and was quick to forgive and not bring up past mistakes, when a child sought forgiveness or suffered the consequences. Imagine if every parent learned from their own failures and humbly taught their children to not make the same mistakes.

God is not a provoker. In the New Testament one would be hard pressed to find much explicit instructions on how to parent. There doesn’t need to be many instructions. Just follow in the footsteps of your heavenly Parent. About all you will find explicitly about parenting is in Ephesians 6:4: “Parents, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 says: “Parents, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Basically, Paul advises: “Parents, don’t piss your children off.” Do not exasperate or provoke your children. How do parents provoke, incite, aggravate, hassle, needle, goad, irritate, inflame, rouse, and whip up the young people? There is not a parent who doesn’t know exactly how to do this. Said simply - everything that your parents did that made you mad because it was not a moral issue, stop! Imagine a world where parents did not anger their children unnecessarily. Imagine if every parent realized control freaks are never in control. Imagine if every parent lead by actions rather than words, that they understood to say “do what I say, not what I do” was an oxymoron. Imagine if every parent never tried to live their dreams out in children. Imagine if every parent loved unconditionally daily, hating the sin but loving the sinner. Imagine if every parent never took advantage of his or her position of authority, always staying calm and never excusing verbal or physical abuse.

God is a tremendous respecter of freedom. Parents often exasperate their children, especially as they move more toward the peer influenced teenage years by always telling them what to do even though the situation isn’t moral in nature. We must take a stand again illegal drugs, etc, but we need to begin let children decide how they are going to dress, wear their hair, etc. What if your child wants to have green hair? By all means use the relationship you have developed over the years to influence how ridiculous one looks with green hair. Would the child approved if you wore green hair? But, be careful being a dictator. If you are invested in the relationship and having influence, you are going to have to let some things go to build the relationship. This is true in adult relationships as well. It just is not true that kids will only respect you when they are grown and out of the house. Parents can gain their respect in their teenagers’ years if they pursued a relationship and are reasonable. God is a Parent who encourages you to pursue the desires and passions you have, within certain moral absolutes. We must stop dictating to our children what careers they must purse, what sports they should play, want amoral choices to make in life.

Also, God is not an overprotective Parent. It is quite obvious due to the amount of suffering in the world that God does not spare His children of suffering. But, were God to prevent all suffering, He must prevent all freedom as well. There is something to be learned from the reality that God could but doesn’t stop pain. Many parents will try anything to prevent their child from “skinning their knee.” There is a time and place to help child avoid pain. I am not going to let my infant learn the stove can burn them but not protecting them from touching it. But, there comes a time when we parents prevent children from knowing reality. In a free world there is unavoidable suffering and a child needs to learn this as they age and not all of a sudden when put out of the house on their own. I will be honest here. I fail miserable at this aspect of God’s character. I go to great lengths to protect my child from certain realities but I am not as tough or loving as God. I can only hope acknowledgment and confession is the first step toward action.

Spend your time getting to know God better. How does He treat you? What characteristics do you glean about Him in your studies about Him? He may not be who you were told growing up. Certain images we have about God’s nature may not be true. Study for yourself. Read what I have written about what I believe to be God’s true nature and character at my website: mikeedwards123. Maybe God purposely didn’t leave us a book in the Canon on Parenting. Parenting is not so much a bunch of rules; parenting is more about who you are. Seek to imitate our heavenly Parent. He awaits invitations to empower you to do so.

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download