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RM 4–HR: Troubles in Paradise
Directions/Description
▪ Imagine that you have a partner whom you care for/love very much.
▪ Carefully read each of the statements that appear in the table below.
▪ Mark the small boxes according to the following legend.
▪ After completing your selections, be prepared to discuss your situation with classmates.
Legend
1 This is not a problem. I can deal with it.
2 This is a problem and we would need to work on it together. (Not a crisis yet.)
3 This is a big problem and I would seek help to resolve it. (Crisis, but worth working on.)
4 This would be an unsolvable obstacle in our relationship. (Not worth it and cause for termination.)
|My Partner |
| doesn’t want to be | gets angry easily and | doesn’t want me to spend | doesn’t put a lot of time | finds lots of excuses not |
|affectionate with me anymore |often over the smallest |time with my friends |or effort into the |to be with me |
| |things | |relationship | |
| blames me for everything | complains about a lot of | never says sorry or never | raises his or her voice and| promises me lots of things |
|that happens |the things I/we do |takes responsibility for his |yells during our arguments |but doesn’t follow through |
| | |or her actions | | |
| criticizes my ideas and | has lots of money but | likes to party and gets | ridicules my | argues with me about |
|suggestions without offering |never spends any when we go |really drunk every time |values/religious practices |everything until he or she |
|his or her own |out | | |gets his or her way |
| flirts with others all the | never talks about feelings| doesn’t make me feel | wants me to be more like | doesn’t share a lot of |
|time | |special around his or her |him or her |similar interests with me |
| | |friends | | |
| has an annoying habit of | wants me to have sex all | never seems to have fun | gets jealous when I talk to| has threatened suicide if I|
|_____________ |the time |with me |other guys or girls |was ever to leave the |
| | | | |relationship |
| shuts down and withdraws as| constantly interrupts me | has hit me, and then | has violent outbursts over | wants me to quit my |
|soon as I question anything |when we are talking about us|apologized |the smallest disagreements |exercise classes (or other |
|he or she does | | | |activities) so that we can |
| | | | |spend more time together |
| makes me feel afraid at | likes to make fun of me | is always around me and | borrows money from me but | calls me names when we are |
|times |when we are around his or |doesn’t give me my space |rarely pays me back |having a disagreement |
| |her friends | | | |
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