Biblical Counseling and Discipleship Association of ...
[pic]
Spring Class
2012
Table of Contents
I. Class Information 3
II. Class Calendar 6
III. Class Assignments 7
IV. Class Basic Information 8
V. “Purifying the Heart of Sexual Idolatry” – John Street 9
VI. “Discipleship” – Wayne Johnston 37
VII. “Union with Christ” – Wayne Johnston 40
VIII. “Conflict Resolution” – David Lee 46
IX. “Biblical Decision Making” – David Lee 53
X. “The Eight I's” – Robert Somerville 59
XI. “Parenting: What Is God Looking for in Children?” – Wayne Johnston 84
XII. “Biblical Love” – Wayne Johnston 87
XIII. “Blended Family Issues, Part 1” – John Street 106
XIV. “Blended Family Issues, Part 2” – John Street 114
XV. “Hamartiology” – Ernie Baker 123
XVI. “Bibliology” – Ernie Baker 127
BCDASoCal
2012 Spring Class
This class meets Sundays from 4:30pm to 7:30pm
at
The Bridge Bible Fellowship
18664 Sherman Way
Reseda, CA
COURSE DESCRIPTION:
An intermediate course that takes a thorough look at the biblical teachings on counseling, discipleship, and related theological issues.
Prerequisite: BCDASoCal Fall Conference (30 Hours, Beginning Conference) or equivalent
The course will meet for 8 sessions over a ten week period.
COURSE OBJECTIVES:
To understand counseling and discipleship from a theological and thus biblically accurate perspective and to be able to use these truths for personal spiritual growth and in ministry.
COST:
Class cost is $100 per student/$185 per couple ($85/$170 if students register prior to February 5). Registration is online at or in person the first day of class. Class fee does not include texts.
COURSE TEXTS:
• COUNSELING, John MacArthur, Nelson, 2005
• SEEING WITH NEW EYES, David Powlison, P & R, 2003
• SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY, Wayne Grudem, Zondervan, 1994
• COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION (BOOKLET), Stuart Scott, Focus Publishing, 2003
CLASSROOM METHODS
BCDASoCal instructors will use a variety of methods in the classroom and course. These may include lecture, open questions and answer sessions, topical class discussions, Bible study, group projects, prayer, writing assignments, individual sanctification project, blog posts, role play, critical evaluation of contemporary writing, and counseling case evaluations.
WHY GRADES?
Grades are for the purpose of measuring results. It is helpful for you to know at what level you are learning and working.
READING AHEAD
Students who wish to read assigned sections of the course texts prior to the week that reading is due are encouraged to do so.
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS
Homework assignments are to be turned in to the host during the class meeting of the week due.
Completing homework on time will assist students to get the most from class meetings and discussions.
OPEN DISCUSSIONS
Post your Open Discussion entries at livetheword.
To view and participate in Open Discussions, you must request and receive a login password. Request your password by emailing Wayne Johnston through livetheword.
PERSONAL SANCTIFICATION PROJECT
Each student taking the Spring Class is required to complete this project. The purpose of this assignment is to use the Scriptures and Biblical Counseling/Discipleship tools to replace sin with righteousness in your own life.
On week 3, submit a brief summary of the problem, the desired growth in righteousness, the Scriptures / studies / tools you will use, and your planned format of action. Host Wayne Johnston will email you within a few days, providing approval to begin or suggestions to help you. Get his final approval of your project before proceeding. You will have 6 to 7 weeks for the activity phase of the project.
On week 8, turn in a three page report on the goal, the process, the roles of God’s grace and His Word, your actions, and the results. If you wish, you may add as additional pages copies of studies, journals and charts.
WHAT TO BRING TO CLASS
Your Bible, the Class Notebook, a pen or pencil, and any assignments due.
YOUR HOST (Wayne Johnston):
Communicate with me.
If you know you will be absent, let me know so I can help you stay current with the class. If you have comments on the teaching or the content of the course, please come and talk with me, text/call 661-992-4779, or email livetheword812@ My purpose is to serve you and benefit you. If you are struggling with the course or are in need of assistance, I am available to provide help or encouragement.
NANC COUNSELOR CERTIFICATION
Students who have completed the BCDASoCal Fall Conference (30 Hours, Beginning Conference) have completed the education requirement toward counselor certification from the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC).
The two BCDASoCal Spring Classes (presented in alternating years) will prepare students further for effective biblical counseling and discipleship ministries and for the NANC Exams. Students who pass the NANC exams and complete mentored supervision will be certified as biblical counselors by NANC.
The texts and reading assignments for this course comprise almost one third of the NANC reading requirements for nouthetic counselors applying for certification.
CLASS SCHEDULE FOR EACH WEEK
4:30-5:00 30 minutes discussion of actual cases (student and teacher)
5:00-5:50 50 minutes instruction: Hour 1
5:50-6:10 Break
6:10-7:00 50 minutes instruction: Hour 2
7:00-7:30 30 minutes open Q&A
CALENDAR and TOPICS FOR CLASS MEETINGS
Week 1: February 26 Instructor: John Street
1 Purifying the Heart of Sexual Idolatry, Part 1 Pg. 9
2 Purifying the Heart of Sexual Idolatry, Part 2
Week 2: March 4 Instructor: Wayne Johnston
1 Discipleship Pg. 37
2 Union with Christ Pg. 40
Week 3: March 11 Instructor: David Lee
1 Conflict Resolution Pg. 46
2 Biblical Decision Making Pg. 53
Week 4: March 18 Instructor: Robert Somerville
1 The Eight I’s (part 1) Pg. 59
2 The Eight I’s (part 2)
Week 5: March 25 Instructor: Robert Somerville
1 The Eight I’s (part 3)
2 The Eight I’s (part 4)
Week 6: April 1 Instructor: Wayne Johnston
1 Parenting: What Is God Looking for in Children? Pg. 84
2 Biblical Love Pg. 87
Week 7: April 15 Instructor: John Street
1 Blended Family Issues, Part 1 Pg. 106
2 Blended Family Issues, Part 2 Pg. 114
Week 8: April 29 Instructor: Ernie Baker
1 Hamartiology Pg. 123
2 Bibliology Pg. 127
2012 SPRING CLASS
ASSIGNMENTS
Week Topics Assignment
1 Purifying the Heart Request a Member Account login password+
of Sexual Idolatry *“Open Discussion #1” question posted
2 Discipleship Read Seeing with New Eyes, ch 1-3
Union with Christ Read Systematic Theology, ch 43
3 Conflict Resolution Read Communication and Conflict Resolution, p 13-28
Biblical Decision Making Personal Sanctification Project Topic and Plan are due
Read Seeing with New Eyes, ch 4-6
4 The Eight I’s (part 1) Read Counseling, ch 8 and 9
The Eight I’s (part 2) Read Counseling, ch 10 and 11
5 The Eight I’s (part 3) Read Counseling, ch 12 and 13
The Eight I’s (part 4) Read Counseling, ch 14
*“Open Discussion #1” your post is due by 03/25/12
*“Open Discussion #2” question posted on 03/26/12
6 Parenting **Complete the What is Love? Study and corresponding
Biblical Love journal on four different days this week
7 Blended Family Issues, Part 1 Write a two-page paper: An Important Issue in Christian
Blended Family Issues, Part 2 Parenting and the Bible’s Solution To It
8 Hamartiology Read Systematic Theology, ch 24 and 38
Bibliology Read Systematic Theology, ch 4, 6, 7, and 8
Personal Sanctification Project: 3 page Summary is due
*“Open Discussion #2” your post is due by 04/29/12
Extra Credit – “How I used what I learned…” ½ to 1 page written paper (maximum of 3)
or
Copy and ½ page review of a blog post related to biblical counseling or discipleship (maximum of 3); each may be distributed to other students
+Obtain password at
All journals and “Open Discussion” questions can be found at
* Open Discussion- Log In, Go to Discussion. Click “Open Discussion”
*“Open Discussion #1” question posted 02/26/12, your post due on or before 03/25/12.
*“Open Discussion #2” question posted 03/26/12, your post due on or before 04/29/12.
** Journals: Go to Bible Resources. Click “Journal with Scriptures” Download PDF file. The “What is Love?” instructions are on page 114, the study: pages 115-117, and the journal is page 118. Fill out a copy of the journal on each of four different days.
BCDASoCal
2012 Spring Class
Basic Information
Where: The Bridge Bible Fellowship, 18664 Sherman Way, Reseda
When: Sundays 4:30 to 7:30pm for eight meetings between February 26 and April 29
Instructors: John Street, Ernie Baker, Robert Somerville, David Lee, and Wayne Johnston
Cost: Class cost is $100 per student/$185 per couple (*$85/$170 if register by February 5), not including class texts
To Register: Go to
Class Size: Minimum number of students is 35
Pre-Reading: Students who wish to read assigned sections of the course texts prior to the beginning of the course may do so.
Methods: This course will include classroom teaching, group projects, interactive online assignments, personal application of Scripture, homework, and open question and answer periods with the instructors.
Purifying the Heart of Sexual Idolatry
Week 1: Sessions 1 & 2
John D. Street
Sexual Deviancy
Counseling persons in the local church with sexual issues will be one of the most challenging efforts for the counselor. While the Word of God is clear in its teaching on the proper and improper approaches to sexual relationships, it seems that many, if not most, do not understand or obey these very clear, biblical principles. The following is intended to re-introduce to the church the biblical guidelines and violations of proper sexual conduct among professing Christians.
I. Talk About Sexual Issues Discreetly, Comfortably, and Appropriately
A. Avoiding crude talk (Ephesians 5:3-4)
1. αἰσχρότης = obscene conduct, thought or words concerning sexual issues (cf. context, vs. 3)
2. μωρολογία = funny or loose speech concerning sexual issues (cf. context, vs. 3)
3. εὐτραπελία = rude joking concerning sexual issues (cf. context, vs. 3)
B. Appropriate counsel and discussion
1. Words full of wisdom, Proverbs 6:20-23
2. Edifying words, Ephesians 4:29
II. A Clear Understanding of the Biblical View of Sexual Relationships
A. Key Old Testament Passages
1. Genesis 1:27-31
a. God made male and female (v. 27).
b. God commanded sexual relations (v. 28).
c. God saw it as very good (v. 31).
2. Genesis 2:24-25
a. Sex is for married persons only.
b. Marriage is more than sex.
c. Sex is part of God’s plan for marriage.
3. Genesis 4:1, 17; 1 Samuel 1:19
a. Sex is more than a biological act.
b. Sexual relations help us to know the other person.
c. Sexual relations are a form of intimate sharing.
d. Sexual relations symbolize appreciation, acceptance, approval, and regard; they promote togetherness and unity, mutual trust and companionship.
4. Proverbs 2:16–19; 5:15–20; 6:20–35; 7:1–27
a. Warnings against engaging in sinful sex relations: 2:16–19; 5:20; 6:20–35; 7:1–27
b. Encouragement to participate in godly sexual relations: 5:15–23
1) vv. 15,18—Sexual desire is a natural occurrence.
2) vv. 15,18—Sexual desires should be satisfied with one’s spouse.
3) vv. 16-17—You are to reserve yourself for your spouse.
4) v. 18—Sexual relations can be continuously blessed.
5) v. 19—Sexual satisfaction in marriage is a great thing.
6) vv. 20-23—Extra-marital sexual relations are sinful.
7) vv. 22-23—Repeated immorality leads to destruction.
5. Song of Solomon
a. Outline:
1) (1:9–14) Husband and wife exchange mutual expressions of appreciation and admiration
2) (1:15–2:7) More of the same:
a) (1:15) The Beloved
b) (1:16–17, 2:1) The Shulamite
c) (2:1–2) The Beloved
d) (2:3–6) The Shulamite
3) (2:8–3:5) Reflections on courtship days: its delights, difficulties, and dreams
4) (3:6–5:1) Reflections on sexual relations in marriage
5) (5:2–8:4) Marital (sexual) problems in marriage and their resolution (including more mutual expressions of admiration and appreciation)
6) (8:5–14) The maturity of love (a vacation in the country)
b. Obvious emphasis: proper marital love with the right orientation (heterosexual) and the right context (monogamous marriage) is beautifully intimate.
B. Key New Testament Passages
1. Hebrews 13:4
a. Marriage is an honorable estate (cf. 1 Tim. 4:1–3).
b. God forbids all sexual relations outside of marriage.
c. Within the context of marriage, sexual relations are blessed by God.
2. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
a. A sexually active marital relationship is a means of fulfilling God’s will (vv. 3,4).
b. Holiness doesn’t exclude sexual activity, but holiness controls its manifestation (vv. 3-5).
c. Sexual encounters that in any way exploit another person are wrong. No person should selfishly use a partner as an object to gratify his/her lust for pleasure and excitement. Such acts constitute transgressions against and a defrauding of another person; they are contrary to the New Testament command to love your neighbor as yourself (vv. 4–6).
d. In sexual relations, one’s mate must be treated with honor as a holy thing; this would certainly involve a respect for the personhood of the other person and a concern for his/her welfare and feelings (vv. 4,6).
e. Sexual encounters can never be casual. They are not merely physical acts; they involve the total self, the whole person (vv. 4–6).
f. God honoring sexual relations should take place within the context of a caring respectful relationship which involves a permanent and total commitment (i.e., marriage) (vv. 3–8).
g. Being a Christian should add a whole new dimension to one’s purity (v. 5)
h. All sexual activities in which there is exploitation of or disrespect for the other person are sinful, even if they are performed with one’s own mate (vv. 6,7).
3. 1 Corinthians 6:12–7:5 (Two erroneous views: [1] 6:12–20 → Physical intimacy is casual; [2] 7:1–5 → Physical intimacy is used to satisfy yourself.)
a. Sexual encounters can never be regarded as casual (6:12–20).
b. Relations outside of marriage are sinful, and for a Christian they should be unthinkable (6:13,18).
c. Under normal circumstances, celibacy for married people isn’t an option. Physical intimacy is not only spiritually permissible, it is obligatory (7:2,5; cf. 1 Cor. 5:1 and Mark 6:18).
d. Marriage involves a commitment to fulfill the sexual desires of the partner (7:3-4).
e. Selfishness in sex relationships is forbidden (7:3-4).
f. Sexual responsibilities are equal and reciprocal (7:3,4).
g. Under normal circumstances, physical intimacy is to be regular and continuous (7:2–5).
h. Conjugal relations may only be suspended for the following reasons (7:5):
1. Mutual consent
2. For purpose of prayer
3. Limited time for a specific reason (e.g., surgery)
i. Discussion about sex relations should be open and honest (7:2–5).
j. Sexual relations aren’t merely for the purpose of procreation; they are intended to be satisfying and pleasurable (7:2–5).
k. Frequency is determined by the satisfaction principle (7:2–5).
III. How the World Distorts the Bible's Clear Teaching on Sexual Relations
A. Common misunderstandings and issues regarding sexual problems in marriage
Procedural/Methodological
1. Logistics—problems stem from busy schedules
2. Monotony—problems stem from lack of variety in technique
3. Lack of Preparedness—problems stem from lack of proper foreplay
4. Situational—problems stem from too many distractions
Personal Difficulties
1. Physical—too tired, overweight, not sleeping well, too old
2. Sexual Aversion—suppressed subconscious issues from the past that are unresolved
3. Performance Issues—caused by physical and emotional pressures
4. Drug-Related—medically repressed desires by some drugs like blood pressure medications
5. Inhibited Desire for Sex—physiological difficulties or lack physical attraction
6. Attitudinal Problems—depression, fear, anxiety, emotional distractions
B. Specific biblical violations regarding sexual conduct
1. Premarital sex
a. Definition: Sexual intercourse before marriage
b. Relevant issues—sex is a type of worship. Either you worship God, self or another person. Take someone that is not yours to take.
c. Relevant texts
1) Deuteronomy 22:20-21
“'But if this charge is true, that the girl was not found a virgin, then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel, by playing the harlot in her father’s house; thus you shall purge the evil from among you.’”
2) 1 Corinthians 6:15
“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be!”
3) 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality…"
2. Adultery
a. Definition: Married persons having sexual relations outside of their own marriage
b. Relevant issues—violation of marital vows; deceit; you take and give something that does not belong to you alone.
c. Relevant texts (Ex. 20:14; Lev. 20:10ff; Matt. 5:27-30)
1) Deuteronomy 5:18
“’You shall not commit adultery.’”
2) Proverbs 6:32
“The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it.”
3) Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
3. Homosexuality/Sodomy
a. Definition: Sexual sins committed with someone of the same sex
b. Relevant issues—“unnatural” sexual relations (Romans 1:26); often comes from a home of one of two extremes: overly harsh or overly lenient; alienation from parent of same sex
c. Relevant texts (Leviticus 18:22)
1) Genesis 2:25
“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
2) Genesis 19:1-29
This passage describes God sending two angels to destroy the city of Sodom for the people’s gross wickedness, and to rescue Lot and his family. One great sin of the men was their rampant practice of homosexuality, as illustrated in verses 5-9.
3) Leviticus 20:13
“‘If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.’”
4) Romans 1:24-28
“Therefore God gave them over to the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.”
d. Scientific Studies
The first issue of the Journal of Human Sexuality summarizes the scientific research on homosexuality:
• There is substantial evidence that sexual orientation may be changed through reorientation therapy.
• Efforts to change sexual orientation have not been shown to be consistently harmful or to regularly lead to greater self-hatred, depression, and other self-destructive behaviors.
• There is significantly greater medical, psychological, and relational pathology in the homosexual population than the general population.
Journal of Human Sexuality article: "What Research Shows"
“In What Research Shows, we offer a landscape review of more than one hundred years of experiential evidence, clinical studies, and research studies that demonstrate that it is possible for men and women to diminish their unwanted homosexual attractions and develop their heterosexual potential; that efforts to change unwanted homosexual attractions are not generally harmful; and that homosexual men and women do indeed have substantially greater experiences of and risk factors for medical, psychological and relational pathology than do the general population. Based on our review of 600 reports of clinicians, researchers, and former clients—primarily from professional and peer-reviewed scientific journals, we conclude that reorientation treatment has been helpful to many and should continue to be available to those who seek it. Further, mental health professionals competent to provide such care ethically may do so.”
4. Incest
a. Definition: “Sexual relations between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law or religion to marry” (Webster’s Dictionary)
b. Relevant issues—often occurs in step family relations between a step father and step daughter
c. Relevant texts
1) Leviticus 18:6–18
“’None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover nakedness; I am the Lord…’” (The passage continues, specifying the various sinful incestuous relations – with one’s father, mother, step-mother, sister, step-sister, daughter-in-law, aunt, uncle, uncle’s wife, or sister-in-law – or with a both a woman and her daughter, granddaughter, or sister)
2) Leviticus 20:11-12, 14
“‘If there is a man who lies with his father’s wife, he has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death, their bloodguiltiness is upon them. If there is a man who lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed incest, their bloodguiltiness is upon them… If there is a man who marries a woman and her mother, it is immorality; both he and they shall be burned with fire, that there may be no immorality in your midst.’”
3) 1 Corinthians 5:1
“It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife.”
5. Rape
a. Definition: The unlawful and unwanted/unconsented forcing of sexual relations
b. Relevant issues—often associated with drunkenness or drugs (Habakkuk 2:15-16)
1) Rape and Abortion
“Conception in cases of rape is very rare. The reasons are many. The emotional trauma of the event may prevent ovulation, the offender may experience impotence or the woman may use contraceptives or be in her infertile period of the month. It is estimated that .06 of 1 percent of all abortions are for rape. Undoubtedly the numbers are low because some who become pregnant from rape decide not to abort. Still, it is safe to say that the main reason figures are low is that most rape victims don’t get pregnant.” (John S. Feinberg & Paul D. Feinberg, Ethics for a Brave New World, p. 78)
2) Homosexual rape: Genesis 19—Sodom & Gomorrah
c. Relevant texts
1) Deuteronomy 22:25 (vv. 23–30)
“But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die.”
2) Judges 19:25; 20:3–4, 12
“But the men would not listen to him, so the man seized his concubine and brought her out to them. And they raped her and abused her all night until morning, then let her go at the approach of dawn.”
“(Now the sons of Benjamin heard that the sons of Israel had gone up to Mizpah.) And the sons of Israel said, ‘Tell us, how did this wickedness take place?’ So the Levite, the husband of the woman who was murdered, answered and said, ‘I came with my concubine to spend the night at Gibeah which belongs to Benjamin.”
“Then the tribes of Israel sent men through the entire tribe of Benjamin, saying, “What is this wickedness that has taken place among you?’”
3) 2 Samuel 13:11-15 (Ammon and Tamar)
6. Prostitution/Harlotry
a. Definition: The giving or selling of one’s body for sexual and/or financial profit
b. Relevant issues
1) Made in God’s image, men and women are not to be used as sex objects, but to be respected as being the Imago Dei.
2) In the Lev. 19:29 context, prostitution is equated with wickedness.
3) In Lev. 20, the chapter begins with a prohibition of sexual practice in connection with idolatry. In Lev. 18, homosexuality and idolatry are spoken against.
4) Temple prostitutes in OT and NT times were considered an “abomination.”
c. Relevant texts
1) Leviticus 19:29 (20:5-6)
“Do not profane your daughter by making her a harlot, so that the land may not fall to harlotry, and the land become full of lewdness.”
2) Deuteronomy 23:18
“You shall not bring the hire of a harlot or the wages of a dog into the house of the Lord your God for any votive offering, for both of these are an abomination to the Lord your God.”
3) Proverbs 23:27
“For a harlot is a deep pit, and an adulterous woman is a narrow well.”
4) 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators,…nor adulterers… shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
5) Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
7. Mental Immorality (including voyeurism and pornography)
a. Definitions
1) Voyeurism: Sexual stimulation and/or arousal by watching or imagining others engaged in sexual acts
2) Pornography: Mental/visual stimulation caused by seeing sexual conduct/and or nakedness
b. Relevant issues
“It is not just the increasingly more explicit pictures that are so influential in contemporary attitudes and activities. It is the philosophy that accompanies these pictures that has been tremendously detrimental whereas earlier in this century certain forms of sexual permissiveness were unthinkable, the Playboy Philosophy relentlessly expounded by Hugh Hefner and others has anesthetized modern society to that idea that any of this might be wrong.” (Feinberg & Feinberg,. 151.)
c. Relevant texts
1) Matthew 5:28
“But I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
2) Exodus 20:17
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
3) Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”
8. Auto-Eroticism (Masturbation)
a. Definition: Self-stimulation of the genital organs usually for the purpose of producing an orgasm/ejaculation
b. Relevant issues—major heart issues include comfort, relief from stress, self-gratifying pleasure, anger, jealousy, discontentment, generalized unhappiness in life
1) Auto-eroticism is self-gratifying sexual experience. At the core is a heart of covetousness and greed. Contrary to what many evangelicals and “Christian” psychologists teach, it is a sin.
2) Some have equated it with homosexuality because it is receiving sexual gratification from the same sex.
c. Relevant texts
1) 1 Corinthians 7:3
“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” We are to use our bodies to fulfill our spouses.
2) Ephesians 5:3
“But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints…” Sex for self-gratification is not proper among God’s people.
3) Matthew 5:30 (exegetes have differing views on this verse)
“If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.”
9. Exhibitionism
a. Definition: The self-display of the genitals without the consent of others
b. Relevant issues: It has been stated that 1/3 of all sexual offenses are for indecent exposure. It often comes from a desire to shock others or draw attention to self. The thrill or rush of excitement is exhilarating to the exhibitionist similar to that of a sky diver.
1) Some actually have convinced themselves that others will erotically enjoy their display when, in reality, most are greatly offended and disgusted.
2) Women who dress immodestly, on a lesser level, enjoy the same thrill of attention. Only in most European/American cultures this is acceptable.
c. Relevant texts
1) Genesis 9:22
“And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside.”
2) 1 Timothy 2:9
“Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments;”
3) Romans 13:14
“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”
10. Bestiality (zooerasty)
a. Definition: Sexual contact with animals
b. Relevant issues—a person who practices bestiality is extremely enslaved to sexual passions. When a person indulges in such behavior it is highly unlikely this person is a genuine Christian.
1) The animal is usually a household pet.
2) Such animal is used for copulation or is trained to lick or rub the human partner.
3) The most commonly used animals are pigs and sheep in rural settings when not household pets.
4) Zoosadism is where sexual arousal and satisfaction are obtained from torturing animals.
c. Relevant texts
1) Exodus 22:19
“Whoever lies with an animal shall surely be put to death.”
2) Leviticus 18:23
“Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion.”
3) Deuteronomy 27:21
“‘Cursed is he who lies with any animal.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’”
4) 1 Peter 4:4-5
“In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.”
11. Transvestitism & Transsexualism
a. Definitions
1) Transvestitism: Cross–dressing
2) Transsexualism: Consistent, conscious identification of oneself as a member of the opposite sex by means of an operation in which the genitals are removed and replaced with those of the opposite sex
b. Relevant issues
1) Bisexuality and homosexuality are often by–products of transvestism and transsexualism.
2) There are a number of Greek terms that refer to people who engage in homosexual intercourse: paiderastia, pauakos, kinaidos, arrenomanes and paidophthoros.
3) Paul uses two other words:
a) malakos – effeminate ( 1 Cor. 6:9
(i) The root means ‘soft.’ In the moral realm, it is used of those who are loose, weak or lacking in self-control.
(ii) It is unquestioned that malakos is used in non-biblical, classical Greek writings to refer to boys and men who allow themselves to be used homosexually, as well as those males who play the part of the passive partner in homosexual intercourse.
b) arsenokoites – homosexual ( 1 Cor. 6:9; 1 Tim. 1:10
(i) It is a compound of koite, which means “those who engage in sexual intercourse,” and arsen, which means “male” or “masculine.”
(ii) It could, therefore, mean that the male is the subject or object of intercourse. If he is the subject, then it refers to male prostitutes. If the object, then it is referring to those who have had sexual intercourse with males.
4) Pornos is the general term used for sexual sin. Paul normally will further define different types of sexual sin with a word like arsenokoites.
c. Relevant text: Deuteronomy 22:5
“A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”
12. Sado-masochism
a. Definition: Sexual excitement that is derived through personal suffering and pain. The key is the concept of a submittal to power.
1) Sadists want to subject the victim to pain for sexual excitement.
2) Masochists want to be subjected to the pain.
b. Relevant issues
1) The common denominator between pain and sexual enjoyment is adrenalin-rush produced in the body.
2) A paraphilia sado-masochist is a person who is both sadistic and masochistic, deriving sexual arousal from both giving and receiving pain.
c. Relevant texts
1) Galatians 5:13
“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”
2) Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”
13. Fetishism
a. Definition: The use of non-living objects to obtain erotic arousal
b. Relevant issues—this is where fetishes are repeatedly or exclusively used in achieving sexual excitement
1) A nonsexual object (e.g., a glove, shoe, or handkerchief) or part of the body (e.g., a foot, lock of hair, or ear) that arouses sexual interest or excitement by association or symbolism.
2) Gratification is most often achieved by physical touch of such an object in a passionate way or viewing the item.
c. Relevant texts
1) Romans 1:32
“And, although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”
2) Philippians 2:3-5
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.”
3) Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”
4) 1 John 2:15-17
“Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God abides forever.”
C. With all or most of these violations of biblical principles pertaining to sex, other principles have been violated.
1. Lack of / resistance to / misunderstanding of biblical love
2. Lack of / resistance to / misunderstanding of biblical conflict / resolution
3. Lack of / resistance to / misunderstanding of biblical communication
4. Lack of / resistance to / misunderstanding of biblical forgiveness
5. Unbiblical views of thinking / emotions
6. Unbiblical views / concepts of marriage
7. Unbiblical thinking / acting with regard to “leaving and cleaving” principles
IV. Give Helpful, Biblically Consistent and Appropriate Counsel and Homework for the Resolution of Sexual Problems
• See the suggestions in your student note for further reading and homework for these type of problems.
• There is no better person for helping Christians struggling with sexual problems than a counselor who knows the Word.
Discipleship
Week 2: Session 1
Wayne Erick Johnston
Introduction: We have a truly great commission
I Discipleship is Necessarily Intertwined with Biblical Counseling
A Biblical Counseling is, in some ways, specific
B Discipleship encompasses a broad scope
II Discipleship Principles
A Tailor the specifics of the application of each discipline to fit the disciple’s maturity level and abilities
B Measure results meticulously
1 Be involved
2 Find out about motives
3 Learn the thoughts
4 Observe and ask about actions
III Speak the Word of God
A God’s Word is the only source of truth (Psalm 119.142)
B A strong disciple of Christ hears God’s Word and acts upon it (Matthew 7.24-27)
C Speak the truth of God’s Word with the authority it demands (Psalm 119.89)
IV Focus on Obedience at the Heart Level
Why should you focus on the inner man? God thinks it is quite important
(Proverbs 16.2, 2 Chronicles 16.9, 1 Thessalonians 2.4, James 4.8)
A Ask questions about the heart (Proverbs 20.5)
B Use the Scriptures to get to the motive level (Hebrews 4.12-13)
1 Employ journals with Scripture to learn the desires of the men you serve
2 Use God’s Word to reach the heart level in conversations
C Confront sin
1 Exhort disciples to become strong in Christ by obeying God’s Word at the motive level
2 Call for repentance from sin
3 Teach progressive sanctification as essential to discipleship
D Differentiate between matters that are either always right or always wrong for all Christians at all times and issues that are not (Romans 14, esp. 5-8)
V Build Strong Disciples of Christ through Training for Excellence in Four Areas of Life
A The Disciple's Heart Towards God
1 Humility (Luke 17.5-10, James 4.13-17)
2 Obedience (Philippians 2.12-16)
3 Progressive Sanctification (Romans 8.13)
4 Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness (1 Timothy 4.7-16)
B The Disciple's Time and Heart for God's Word
1 Study and Application (2 Timothy 2.15, Psalm 119.56)
2 Memorization (Psalm 119.11)
3 Theology (Psalm 119.98-100)
C People
1 Love (1 John 3.16)
2 Serve (Mark 10.43-45)
3 Humility (1 Thessalonians 2.7-8)
4 Discipleship (Colossians 1.28-29)
D Responsibility
1 The Body (1 Corinthians 6.19-20)
2 Work (Colossians 3.23-24)
3 Money (Matthew 6.19-21)
4 Decision Making (Romans 14.7-8, 16, 19, 21-23)
V Train Disciples to Serve Christ with Passion
Paul served Christ with passion (Philippians 1.20-21: boldly exalt Him; Philippians 3.10: “that I may know Him”)
A Train them to remember the insurmountable debt (Matthew 18.21-35)
B Train them to remember that Jesus Christ overcame the world (John 16.33)
C Train them to measure their love by what Christ did on the cross
(1 John 3.16)
Conclusion
Build strong disciples of Christ to honor God
Build strong disciples of Christ because you love the souls God brings to you
Examples
Union with Christ
Week 2: Session 2
Wayne Erick Johnston
Union with Christ
Wayne Erick Johnston
I. Introduction
The doctrine of Union with Christ is a summary of the Bible’s teaching about the relationship between each Christian and Jesus Christ.
II. The Doctrine of Union with Christ
A. Union with Christ: Definition
Union with Christ describes the relationship between redeemed souls and the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ lives in every Christian, He is with each of us, with Christ each believer died to sin, and now lives a new life in Him. This union was planned by God in eternity past. It begins at the point of salvation, continues throughout life on earth including physical death, and then transforms into an eternal resurrection in the presence of Christ. Union with Christ is both an individual and a corporate bond which is supernatural, spiritual in nature, and complete. It cannot be completely understood, is life changing, and will not end.
Galatians 2:20
God’s Word testifies that each Christian lives in Christ.
John 15:10
Philippians 1:21
John 5:11
Union with Christ begins at regeneration.
Romans 6:1-11 states that dying to sin and entering new life in Christ are concurrent: “For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Even so, consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
Christians are joined corporately to Jesus Christ.
John 17:21-26
1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Romans 12:5
John 17:22-23
Christians are joined to Jesus Christ and to each other through Union with Christ.
Union with Christ is supernatural.
John 14:23, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come and make Our abode with him.”
Our bond to Christ is spiritual. Romans 8:9-11 connects Union with Christ to the involvement and indwelling of the Holy Spirit:
However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
Union with Christ is “in the Spirit.”
Our bond with Christ is a mystery.
Ephesians 5:32
Colossians 1:26-27, “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
Union with Christ is life changing.
Romans 6:4-22 We die to sin and become “alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
The believer’s Union with Christ encompasses every part of life.
1 Corinthians 6:15
1 Corinthians 12:27
Romans 8:35-39
B. Union with Christ: Definitions According to Noted Theologians
Wayne Grudem
We are in Christ
Christ is in us
We are like Christ
Christ is with us
John Murray
We live in Christ
We die in Christ
We are resurrected in Christ
We are elected in Christ
Bruce Demarest
Vital
Supernatural
Organic
Comprehensive
Mysterious
Not through baptism
Henry Thiessen
Vital
Spiritual
Complete
Inscrutable
Indissoluble
C. Union with Christ: Biblical Illustrations
Jesus describes our union with Him in John 15:1-11 as the relationship between a vine and its branches.
In John 17:19-23, Jesus compares our union with Him to His own relationship with God the Father.
Romans 5:12-21 and its interpretation in 1 Corinthians 15:22 tell us that there is a correlation between the first sin and the initiation of justification in Christ. The latter passage states, “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all shall be made alive.”
1 Corinthians 12:12-27 illustrates Union with Christ as the relationship of a body to its head.
Ephesians 2:19-22 pictures Union with Christ as the dependence of a building on its cornerstone.
In Ephesians 5:22-33 Union with Christ is characterized by the bond between husband and wife. The marriage of the Lamb, recorded in Revelation 19:7-9, shows Jesus Christ as both husband to the church and Savior of the church, which is clothed in fine white linen.
D. Union with Christ: Implications
Due to Union with Christ, Christians are assigned good works to complete and are given the capability to perform them.
Ephesians 2:10 explains, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-30 shows that the responsibility to perform these duties is inherent as members of Christ's body.
Christians will live fruitful lives in Christ.
Galatians 5:22-24 teaches that those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh and its passions. The result is that they are capable of bearing the fruit of the Spirit. The lives of Christians should be characterized by progressive sanctification.
Our eternal security is certain (John 10:28-30, 1 Peter 1:3-5).
The doctrine of security of salvation is connected to the concept of Union with Christ. There is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” according to Romans 8:1.
III. Direct Implications of Union with Christ for Counseling Issues
A. Anger
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Anger can be overcome by believers through their Union with Christ.
Ephesians 4:31-32: By studying and meditating on the forgiveness of God in Christ, Christians can forgive others who have sinned against them.
Matthew 18:21-35: Christians who heed this teaching think accurately about their own forgiveness of a lifetime of sins. This perspective enables the forgiven to forgive others.
B. Depression
John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.
Many Christians who seek counseling lack hope.
The believer takes courage because Jesus Christ overcame the world.
C. Stress and Anxiety
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake for when I am weak, then I am strong.
Life on earth is hard. When Christians who are tempted to feel stressed or become anxious about problems in life choose instead to trust God's promise to provide sufficient grace they will be able to be content despite weaknesses, insults, distresses, persecutions, or difficulties. The sufficient grace spoken of in 2 Corinthians 12.9-10 is found in our Union with Christ. It is far superior to our culture’s best answers for overcoming stress and anxiety.
D. Victory Over Sin
Romans 8:6-13
For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
Can sin be overcome?
In Romans 8:6-13 the mind set on the flesh is contrasted with the soul indwelled by Christ and by the Holy Spirit.
This same passage teaches that because of Union with Christ, all redeemed people can and do put to death the deeds of the body (sins).
Union with Christ insures that believers will have victory over sin.
E. Assurance of Salvation
John 15:5-8
I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.
Jesus taught about His union with Christians through the illustration of the vine and the branches. Branches (believers) that bears fruit have assurance of salvation (John 15:8). They have "proven" to be disciples of Christ.
IV. Union with Christ and the Believer’s Perception of the Church
What Should Believers in the Local Church Think About Each Other?
1 Corinthians 12:25-27
That there should be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christ's body, and individually members of it.
All Christians within a local church are members of the body of Christ. Therefore there should be no divisions. In the same way, we are to rejoice with brothers and sisters who rejoice.
As believers, we must think and act as caring members of the same body, sharing empathy, compassion, and mutual rejoicing with all other members.
V. Conclusion
The study of Union with Christ points redeemed souls to a deeper appreciation for their Savior and an accurate understanding of the intimate bond they share with Him. This treasure of theology has significant implications for the mature believer and for the new Christian.
Praise God for this precious powerful doctrine and for the faithfulness of our Lord Jesus Christ.
VI. Bibliography
Berkhof, Louis; Introduction to Systematic Theology; Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, MI, 1932; reprint: Baker, Grand Rapids, MI,1979
Chafer, Lewis Sperry; Systematic Theology; Dallas Seminary Press, Dallas, TX, 1947
Demarest, Bruce; The Cross and Salvation; Crossway, Wheaton, IL, 1997
Enns, Paul; Moody Handbook of Theology; Moody Press, Chicago, IL, 1984
Erickson, Millard; Christian Theology; Baker, Grand Rapids, MI, 1985
Grudem, Wayne; Systematic Theology; Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI, 1994
Murray, John; Redemption Accomplished and Applied; Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, MI, 1955
Ryrie, Charles; Basic Theology; Moody Press, Chicago, IL, 1986, 1999
Thiessen, Henry; Lectures in Systematic Theology; Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, MI, 1949/1977 (revised by Vernon Doerksen)
Strong, Augustus H.; Systematic Theology; Judson Press, Valley Forge, PA, 1907
Conflict Resolution
Week 3: Session 1
David Lee
III. Introduction
• Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
• 1 Corinthians 7:15b “but God has called us to peace.”
A. God has called us to Peace ________ God
B. God has called us to the Peace ________ God
C. God has called us to Peace _________ the people of God
IV. Understanding Conflict:
• In a fallen world, it is not a matter of “if” a conflict will happen but a matter of “when”
A. Definition of Conflict
A ______________ in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.
B. Causes of Conflict
1. __________________ differences
2. __________________ in value, goals, gifts, calling, priorities, expectations,
interests, opinions, etc.
3. __________________ over limited resources
4. __________________ attitudes and desires that lead to sinful words and actions
C. Source of Conflict
• James 4:1 “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?
Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?”
• James 1:13-14 “Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.”
V. A Theology of Conflict Resolution (The 4 G’s):
A. G_________ God
• 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
• How can I please and honor the Lord in this situation?
B. G____ The Log Out Of Your Own Eye
• Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
• How have I contributed to this conflict and what do I need to do to resolve it?
C. G________ Restore
• Galatians 6:1 “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted."
• How can I help others to understand how they have contributed to this conflict?
D. G__ And Be Reconciled
• Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
• How can I demonstrate forgiveness and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?
VI. Dealing with Conflict (The “Slippery Slope”):
A. Escape Responses – “Peace______er”
1. Denial -
2. Flight -
3. Suicide –
B. Attack Responses – “Peace______er”
1. Assault -
2. Litigation -
3. Murder -
C. Conciliation Responses – “Peace______er”
Personal Peacemaking
1. Overlook (1 Peter 4:8) -
2. Reconciliation (Matthew 18:15) -
3. Negotiation (Philippians 2:4) -
Assisted Peacemaking
4. Mediation (Matthew 18:16) -
5. Arbitration (1 Corinthians 6:1-8) -
6. Accountability / Church Discipline (Matthew 18:17-20) –
D. Summary
1. Escape responses focuses on ________
2. Attack responses focuses on __________
3. Conciliation responses focuses on ____________
VII. Conflict Provides Opportunities
A. Opportunity to ____________ God
B. Opportunity to ____________ Other People
C. Opportunity to ____________ in Christlikeness
VIII. Genuine Confession (8 “A’s”):
A. A______________ everyone involved (Psalm 14:4, Luke 15:21)
B. A______________ if, but, and maybe (Psalm 51)
C. A______________ specifically (say what God says about your sin)
D. A______________ the hurt (show you understand how other person felt by your actions)
E. A______________ the consequences (Luke 19:8)
F. A______________ your behavior (Ephesians 4:22-24)
G. A______________ for forgiveness (Genesis 50:17)
H. A______________ time (for other person to forgive but knowing God commands it)
IX. Confrontation
A. When:
B. How (The “PAUSE” principle):
P______________
A______________ relationships
U______________ interests
S______________ for creative solutions
E______________ options objectively and reasonably
VIII. Genuine Forgiveness
• Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,
just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
E. Forgiveness is not a _______________
F. Forgiveness is a ______________ to make four promises:
1. I will not ____________ this incident up and use it against you.
2. I will not ____________ to others about this incident.
3. I will not ____________ on this incident.
4. I will not ____________ this incident to stand between us or hinder
our personal relationship.
Romans 14:19 “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.”
CONFERENCE TABLE
PLACE:
Agree upon an area in which daily conferences may be held without interruption.
Choose a table, preferably one that is not used frequently for other purposes.
Hold all conferences there. If problems arise elsewhere, whenever possible, wait
until you reach home to discuss them---at the conference table. The first week read
Matt. 7:1-5; Col. 3:12-15; Phil 2:3-5 and Eph. 4:29-32 each night before conferring.
PLACE _______________________________ TIME _____________
PURPOSE:
The conference table is a place to confer, not to argue. Begin by talking about yourself
-- your sins and failures -- and settle all such matters first by asking forgiveness. (Matt. 7:4-5)
Do not say, “I am sorry,” but rather state “I was wrong for _____________, will you forgive me?” Speak all the truth in love. Do not allow any anger to be carried over into the next day
(Eph. 4:26). Ask forgiveness for any expression of anger.
Not all problems can be solved at one sitting. You may find it necessary to make up an agenda and schedule out the work over a period of time according to priorities. Direct all your energies toward defeating the problem, not toward the other person. Your goal is to reach biblical solutions, so always have Bibles on the table and use them. Ask, What is the problem? Define the problem issue carefully. Ask, What does the bible say about how to resolve this issue? List practical steps that will enable you to practice the biblical solution. It helps to record the results
of your work on paper. Keep a notebook of “Conference Table Solutions.” Open and close conferences with prayer. Remember when you need help, reread Matt. 7:1-5, Col. 3:12-15,
Phil 2:3-5 and Eph. 4:29-32.
PROCEDURE:
If any conferee argues, “clams up” or does anything other than confer at the table, the others should use the time out signal. You need to establish a prearranged signal at your first conference. We suggest using the time out signal used in sports, making a T with your hands. This prearranged signal means, “In my opinion we’ve stopped conferring, “Whether he was right or wrong in this judgment does not matter and ought not to be discussed at the moment. The person seated should then indicate his willingness to confer, and invite others to be resume the conversation.
SUMMARY:
1. Have a specific place to confer.
2. Husband/Father/Head of Household should take the leadership to initiate,
but he is not the only one that may do so.
3. Begin with prayer and read Matt. 7:1-5, Col. 3:12-15, Phil 2:3-5 and Eph. 4:29-32.
4. If one conferee stops conferring and begins arguing use your prearranged signal
to indicate that, in your opinion, they have stopped discussing and are arguing.
5. Record the results of the conference, action to be taken, decisions made, etc.,
in a notebook.
6. Close in prayer.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES ON CONFLICT RESOLUTION
“The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict” by Ken Sande
“Peacemaking for Families” by Ken Sande
“The Peacemaking Pastor” by Alfred Poirier
“Resolving Everyday Conflict” by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson
“The Peacemaker student edition” by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson
“The Young Peacemaker” by Corlette Sande
“Communication and Conflict Resolution” by Stuart Scott
“Peacemaking Principles” pamphlet by Ken Sande
“The Peacemaking Women: Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict”
by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler
“Uprooting Anger” by Robert Jones
“Your Family God’s Way” by Wayne Mack
“War of Words” by Paul David Tripp
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES WITH CHAPTER(S) ON CONFLICT RESOLUTION
“The Exemplary Husband” by Stuart Scott
“The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace
“Preparing for Marriage God’s Way” by Wayne Mack
Biblical Decision Making
Week 3: Session 2
David Lee
I. Introduction
A. Questions not to ask:
B. Question to ask:
C. “God’s Will” is used three ways in the Bible
1. God’s _____________ Will = God’s secret plan that determines everything that happens in the universe (Daniel 4:35; Proverbs 16:33; 21:1; Revelation 4:11; Ephesians 1:11; Romans 9:19; 11:33-36; Acts 2:23; 4:27-28).
2. God’s _____________ Will = God’s revealed commands in the Bible that teach how men ought to believe and live (Romans 2:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; 5:18; 2 Corinthians 6:14, plus all other direct commands in Scripture).
3. God’s _____________ Will = God’s ideal, detailed life-plan uniquely designed for each person (Colossians 1:9; 4:12; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 5:17; 6:6; Proverbs 3:5-6; 16:9; Psalm 32:8; Genesis 24).
D. God has a perfect individual will for each believer
E. Erroneous expectations that bring confusion in finding God’s will
F. Reliable road signs that bring assurance in finding God’s individual will
II. Discerning God’s Individual Will
How do you discern God’s will in areas where there is no specific biblical command?
A. Is It _______________?
• 1 Corinthians 6:12a “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.”
B. Will It _____________ Me?
• 1 Corinthians 6:12b “All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”
• Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.”
• “Doulos” -
C. Will It Unequally __________ Me With An Unbeliever?
• 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
D. Will It ___________ My Body?
• 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?”
E. Will It Will It Be A _______________ ___________ To Another?
• 1 Corinthians 8:9 “But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.”
F. Will It ___________? Will It Build Up?
• 1 Corinthians 10:23 “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.”
• 1 Corinthians 8:1b “Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies.”
G. Can I Do This To The ___________ Of God?
• 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
H. Where will I be challenged to grow in Christlikeness to the greatest extent?
Romans 8:29b “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become
conformed to the image of His Son”
I. Where Will My Spiritual Gifts Be Used The Most?
• 1 Corinthians 12:7 “But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit
for the common good.”
• 1 Peter 4:10 “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”
J. Apply The Above Biblical Principles / Questions?
4. If your conscious is clear, then _______________
5. If your conscious is not clear (if there are any doubts), then _________ do it
• Romans 14:23 “But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his
eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.
K. Confirmation of discerning God’s Individual Will.
1. Comes from an inner sense of _______________
2. Comes from the outward result of the ______________
III. Discerning God’s Moral Will (Two Major Themes In The Bible)
Matthew 7:24-27 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”
A. Hear and Act (Obey):
1. Blessed - John 13:17 “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”
2. Peace - Romans 2:10 “peace to everyone who does good.”
B. Hear and Does Not Act (Obey):
1. Many Sorrows – Psalm 32:10a “Many are the sorrows of the wicked.”
2. Tribulation - Romans 2:9 “There will be tribulation and distress for every soul who does evil.”
3. Hard - Proverbs 13:15 “The way of the transgressor is hard.”
“Y” Diagram
(Developed by Mark Dutton)
Christian Decision Making Form
(Developed by Jay E. Adams)
(Study Hebrews 11:24-27)
TWO WAYS TO GO:
| | |
|God’s Way |Satan’s Way |
|Commandment oriented decision-making begins by asking: |Desire-oriented decision-making begins by asking: |
|“What does God want?” |“What do I want?” |
|(Write out your answer.) |(Write out your answer.) |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|Opts for present suffering |Opts for present pleasure |
|Necessary to receive long-term pleasure. |And forgets long-term suffering. |
| | |
|Note each: |Note each: |
|Suffering- |Pleasure- |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|Pleasure- |Suffering- |
| | |
| | |
| | |
With Moses, your decision is an opportunity to choose Christ. (Write out your decision.)
The Eight I's
Weeks 4 & 5 : Sessions 1 & 2
Dr. Robert B. Somerville
Notes edited by
Connie Larson
The A B C’s of the 8 "I’s"
| |8 I’s |Alternatives |Meaning |
| | |Alphabet |Short Options |IRH | |
|1 |Involvement |A = Ally |Caring |L |This is where you ‘ally’ or ‘involve’ yourself in the other person’s |
| | | | |O |life, for their benefit. You build a relationship with them, in order|
| | | | |V |to help them. (John 13:34-35; 1 Pt 4:8) |
| | | | |E | |
|2 |Inspiration |B = Build Hope |Hope | | |
| | | | | |Inspiration, not in the sense that the Bible is God’s inspired Word, |
| | | | | |but in the sense that you ‘inspire’ or ‘build hope’ in the counselee |
| | | | | |that the Bible has the answers, and there is hope for lasting change |
| | | | | |in their life. (Rom 15:4;1 Cor 10:13) |
|3 |Inventory |C = Canvass |Data - Gathering|KNOW| |
| | | | | |Now you need to build up a collection of data, an Inventory of |
| | | | | |information. To obtain this, you need to ‘Canvass’ the counselee, or |
| | | | | |ask questions of them. (Pr 18:2, 13, 17) |
|4 |Interpretation |D = Decipher |Analyze | | |
| | | |Biblically | |The data obtained above must be analyzed Biblically. To do this you |
| | | | | |must ‘decipher’ what has been given to you and ‘interpret’ it |
| | | | | |biblically, in order to provide helpful, personal, applicable, |
| | | | | |Biblical advice. (Lu 24:13-26; 2 Tim 3:16-17) |
|5 |Instruction |E = Exhort |Instruct |SPEA| |
| | | |Biblically |K |The ‘instruction’ that you offer the counselee must be Biblical in |
| | | | | |nature as well. You are ‘Exhorting’ them to obey God’s Word, and |
| | | | | |offering concrete, practical instruction that can bring change. (2 Tim|
| | | | | |3:16-17) |
|6 |Inducement |F = Fire-up |Motivate | | |
| | | | | |This is not ‘inducement’ of the monetary kind. Instead, you are to |
| | | | | |‘Fire-up’ the counselee so that they decide to make certain |
| | | | | |commitments or decisions that will facilitate Biblical change. (Pr|
| | | | | |14:23; Ps 42) |
|7 |Implementation |G = Game- Plan |Homework |DO | |
| | | | | |Your task here is to lay out the ‘game-plan’ for the counselee, so |
| | | | | |that they can ‘implement’ the specific strategies that will effect |
| | | | | |change in their life. You are to focus on the ‘how’ as well as the |
| | | | | |‘what’ of Biblical change. (Heb 3:13; Ja 1:22) |
|8 |Integration |H = Habitualise |On-going | | |
| | | |Disciple-ship | |The last step is to ‘integrate’ the game-plan in the counselee’s life |
| | | | | |so that the changes become ‘habitual’ and so that he is integrated |
| | | | | |into ongoing discipleship in the local church. (Heb 10:24-25; Rom |
| | | | | |12:4-16) |
Adapted from Martin Rogers by Dr. Robert B. Somerville The Master’s College
All Rights Reserved
The 8 “I’s” – Elements of Biblical Change
• Involvement – building a relationship for effective counseling
• Inspiration – giving hope that change is possible
• Inventory – gathering data for better understanding
• Interpretation – defining the problem
• Instruction – teaching biblical truths and principles for change
• Inducement – the call to commitment
• Implementation - practical homework assignments to apply what is learned
• Integration- establishing godly patterns for life
Key Element #1 – Gain Involvement
Gaining involvement is the process of building a relationship with the person who needs help and desires counsel.
Introduction
• Why do you want to get involved in other people’s lives through counseling?
• What keeps us from being involved in other’s lives especially when there are problems?
• Luke 10:25-37 The Good Samaritan
o Why didn’t the others want to get involved?
o What did it cost the Good Samaritan to get involved?
I. Definition of Biblical Involvement
Accepting the counselee as important to God and coming alongside in concern and love to help them see their problem, find biblical solutions, and bring about lasting changes for God’s glory and the counselee’s good.
II. God’s Example of Involvement in Our Lives
1 A. God the Father – Gen 2:15-18, 3:8-9, Joshua 1:9, John 3:16
2 B. Jesus – John 1:14, Heb 4:14-16
3 C. The Holy Spirit – John 14:16-17, 16:13-14
III. Love is the Foundation of Involvement
1 A. We are called to love one another – Matt 22:39, John 13:34-35
2 B. God’s love for us motivates us to love others – 1 Jn 4:11, 19
3 C. If we counsel without love, our counsel is worthless. 1 Cor 13:1-3
4 D. Love is Selfless – Phil 2:3-4, Matt 16:24 If we want to be a part of Christ’s work through counseling we are called to be willing to lay down our lives, to die daily to our selfish agenda and be a part of His.
IV. Building Relationships with Counselees
1 A. Build a relationship where honest and open communication can take place.
1 1. They are a person, not a problem or a project. Enter their world.
1 Thess 2:7-13
2 2. Show compassion and care. Try to put yourself in their place or condition Acts 20:31, Rom 12:15
3 3. Be humble and gentle Eph 4:1-3
4 4. Don’t make it about you, your opinions or experiences. However, your story can be valuable in that your experiences can put flesh and blood on the promises of God, and remove any misconceptions that you are different, better, or problem-free. 2 Cor 2:3-4
5 5. Always make it clear that you are not what this person needs, God is. 2 Pet 1:3-4, 1 Cor 10:13
6 6. Let them know you are willing to help them find God’s wisdom and solutions on how to deal with their issue, but that it will require honesty and openness.
7 7. Let them know what to expect. You will be asking a lot of questions to gain understanding, you will be looking at God’s Word to see what He has to say, and you will give assignments to apply what God’s Word says.
8 8. Ask them if they want this kind of relationship. In saying yes, they will be giving you permission to ask questions, go deeper, be nosy, be directive, and expect them to do the work that is necessary for change to happen in their life.
9 9. Let them know of your dependence on God and His Word. Pray with them asking for God’s wisdom and leading so that you can understand the problem and know what to do. Look at Scriptures together that show your trust and faith is in God – 2 Pet 1:3, 2 Tim 3:16-17, 1 Cor 10:13.
2 B. Involvement is ongoing throughout the counseling process
1 1. Be concerned about the other aspects of their lives – their family, work, school, sports, etc.
2 2. Pray for them
Key Element #2 – Giving Hope
I. Introduction
Most counselees come for help because they are hopeless. They may think that they have tried everything, or that their problem is too big, or too unique. But they are desperate or scared or both.
Giving hope is letting them know that God does want to help, that there are answers, and that His Word does address their situation.
Hopeless people are desperate for hope. As counselors and friends one of our primary goals is to offer hope. Rom 15:14, Heb 6:19.
• Hope is the firm belief of God’s ability and His promise to bring goodness out of chaos in the future. Rom 4:18-21
II. God’s character gives us hope
1 A. He is God. Is 55:8-9, Eph 3:20-21, Matt 19:26
2 B. He is sovereign. Rom 8:28-29, Dan 2:20-23
3 C. He is faithful. He is with us in our problems, we can count on Him and He promises to help us get through our trials. 1 Cor 10:13
4 D. He is near. He is not a god who is far off. Heb 13:5b-6, Josh 1:5,9
5 E. He loves His children. Rom 8:31-39
III. The gospel of Christ gives us hope.
1 A. His incarnation – His life
1 1. He can understand our weaknesses. Heb 4:14-16
2 2. He showed us the way. Phil 2:5-7
2 B. His death
1 1. He paid the penalty for our sin. Rom 6:23
2 2. He forgives us and cleanses us. Eph 1:7
3 C. His resurrection
1 1. He set us free from our slavery to sin. Jn 8:32-36, Gal 5:1
2 2. He made us a new creation 2 Cor 5:17
3 3. We have a new identity. We are now “in Christ,” a child of God. Jn 1:12
4 4. We have an eternity with Him in heaven John 3:16
IV. God’s resources give us hope.
God gives us everything we need for life and godliness, and these resources are sufficient to enable us to respond in a godly manner to any situation and to overcome any test (2 Pet 1:2-3).
1 A. The Word of God – Ps 19:7-11, 2 Tim 3: 16-17
2 B. The Holy Spirit – John 14:16-17, Gal 5:16-23, Rom 5:5
3 C. Prayer - Heb 4:14-16
4 D. The body of Christ - 2 Cor 7:6-7, Heb 3:12-13
V. God’s promises give us hope
1 A. Change is possible. It is God’s plan and He will make it happen (Phil 1:6, Rom 8:28-30, Eph 2:10).
2 B. He will never leave us.
3 C. He will give us what we need to get through whatever situation we are in. 2 Pet 1:3-4, 1 Cor 10:13
VI. Hope comes from helping them see their situation as God sees it, using His definitions (rather than secular labels), identifying sin, helping them see they are free from sin, and showing them what they need to do.
Key Element #3 – Inventory/Gathering Data
I. Introduction
In order to help people with their problems it is vital to gather sufficient information.
Pro 18:2, 13, 15, 17
II. Learn about the Problem
1 A. Ask them to describe to you what is going on
1 1. What is the situation, circumstance or relationship that is the problem? How are they responding to the situation – their actions, thoughts and words?
2 2. What is their struggle in the midst of the situation? You want to hear what is going on in their heart. It may be fear, anger, betrayal, grief, confusion, etc.
2 B. Asking effective questions will reveal helpful information.
1 1. Always ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.”
How would you describe your relationship with your father?
What things in your marriage make you sad?
How would you characterize your communication with your husband (roommate, boyfriend, mom)?
5 2. Ask them to clarify what they mean with concrete, real-life examples. They may say, “We fight all the time.” Ask them to describe their most recent fight. From this you can learn whether their fight is physical, yelling and screaming, the silent treatment, what it was about, when it happened. Ask them if this is typical.
6 3. Ask questions about what is going on in the other areas of their life. The answers could reveal contributing factors.
Current life situation - family and living situation, job, school, married/single
physical (health, eating, sleep, exercise, medications)
spiritual (relationship with the Lord, church-going, Bible reading, praying)
emotional (stresses, moods, anger, fear, bitterness, etc)
relationships (at home, at work, at school).
12 4. Ask questions to give you the history of the problem.
Get information that will give you a historical context for their current problem.
How long has this been going on? When did it start? Was there a specific event that set things in motion?
What influences, pressures, experiences, or past circumstances may contribute to their current situation? How have they been sinned against, failed, sinned against another, or struggled in a situation or relationship?
16 5. Gain more information through homework. Have them ask God to search their heart and show them wrong actions, wrong attitudes and wrong thinking (Jer. 17:10, Psalm 139:23-24). Have them bring a list.
17 6. God’s Word is useful to point out areas that need change (Heb. 4:12, 2 Tim. 3:16-17). Assign passages that identify problem areas and godly qualities (Matt 5:3-10, Gal 5:19-23, Eph 4:25-32, 2 Pet 1:5-8) and have them list which qualities are most lacking in their life.
18 7. Journaling is a useful tool for gathering information.
3 C. Observe “halo data”
“Halo data” is information that is communicated in non-verbal ways.
The Importance of Listening
1 It shows you care.
2 It gives you information.
3 It keeps you from jumping to conclusions. – Prov. 18:13
4 It gives the counselee hope that you will hear their heart, the real story, their side.
5 It opens them up to reveal more.
6 It helps them feel they are not alone.
7 It communicates that you really want to know what’s going on.
Listening is a Skill
1 D. Enter actively into the experience.
1 1. We process what someone says faster than they are able to talk, so be ready to hear and concentrate.
2 2. Communicate you are listening by your body language – eye contact, lean in, nod.
3 3. Put aside own thoughts, ideas, and opinions to listen. Preconceived notions can prevent you from hearing what they are saying.
4 4. Prejudices can distract you and distort what you hear.
2 E. Examine facts as presented (in your mind)
1 1. Are they saying what they mean?
2 2. Are they trying to make a point?
3 3. Are they exaggerating, accurate, skipping important information?
4 4. Take notes, make mental summaries to help you remember
Key Element #4 – Interpretation
I. Introduction
Interpretation is making a biblical analysis of the data.
The goal is to gain an accurate understanding of what is going on in the counselee’s life – both the visible (speech, actions and reactions) and the invisible (thinking, feeling, and what is going on in the heart – motives and intentions).
As you determine the nature and cause of the problem you are better able to provide accurate, helpful and appropriate counseling.
II. Understanding and Dealing with the Heart
The cause of our struggles and problems is not the people or the situation, but the heart that we bring to those circumstances and relationships.
1 A. Our heart condition is identified by our behavior Mark 7:20-23
1 1. Luke 6:43-46 – Christ likens the way we function to a tree
2 2. We speak and act the way we do because of what is going on in our hearts.
• Our fruit is determined by the roots.
• Fruit=behavior
3 3. The heart controls everything we do and say.
2 B. The problem of behavior change without heart change
1 1. Matt 23:25-26
2 2. Change is temporary and not lasting
3 3. Heart change is our goal
III. How to make an Interpretation
1 A. Pray asking God for wisdom and understanding – James 1:5, Col 1:9-12
2 B. Identify their spiritual condition
1 1. Saved or unsaved? 2 Cor 5:17
2 2. Mature or immature? Heb 5:11-14
3 3. Unruly, fainthearted or weak? 1 Thess 5:14
3 C. What does their behavior and thinking reveal about their lack of understanding of the gospel?
1 1. Do they see themselves as sinful and flawed, yet loved and welcomed?
2 2. Forgiven or condemned? – Rom 8:1
3 3. A slave to sin or set free? Rom 6:4-7
4 D. Identify what is ruling the heart
1 1. Examine their behavior and how they are responding to their circumstances to help determine their desires or fears.
2 2. What appear to be the idols of their heart? Ezekiel 14:1-7. A heart idol is anything that rules the heart other than God.
3 3. Whatever is ruling the heart will shape our reactions and responses to people and situations.
4 4. What do they treasure? – Matt 6:19-24, 1 Jn 2:15-17
IV. Formulate an agenda
1 A. What changes need to be made?
1 1. Inner changes - Set your mind and heart on God – Matt 6:33, Col 3:1-3, Rom 12:1-2
2 2. Outer changes - Commit to pleasing God and doing things His way – 2 Cor 5:9, Eph 4:20-24. What do they need to “put-off” and “put-on” Col 3:8-17, Eph 4:25-32?
2 B. Which issues will you deal with first?
There may be immediate behavioral changes that you need to address to avoid crisis or worsening the problem, but in your initial discussion it is vital to talk about the gospel truth and how Christ’s love, forgiveness, and new life is necessary for lasting change.
3 C. What disciplines of grace does she need to be doing or learning?
Bible study, daily devotions, Bible memory, prayer, church involvement (both attending and serving), baptism, communion, etc. They may need to learn the fundamentals of a walk of faith.
V. Interpret for the Counselee
1 A. Help the counselee reinterpret their situation. They need to see it from God’s perspective.
2 B. Explain the real nature and causes of the difficulties from a biblical perspective.
3 C. Explain how the gospel can change their outlook on their situation.
4 D. Explain what you are seeing and why you have come to the conclusions you have. Test your conclusions by asking them if what you are saying hits the mark.
5 E. Tell them why you are having them do certain assignments.
Key Element #5 – Instruction
I. Introduction
Instruction is teaching the counselee biblical truths and the practical biblical principles that will help the counselee make changes in their specific problem area.
There are a few mistaken ideas about giving instruction in the counseling situation.
1. All that is needed is instruction. Some think that if we give the counselee the right Bible verse, a sermon to listen to or a book to read that is all that is needed.
2. Counseling is not about instruction. Others believe that people know the right thing to do already and that the counselor just needs to listen and let them come to their own conclusions on what to do.
3. Instruction is judgmental. Some struggle with telling others what to do, because they think it sounds like they are superior.
II. Biblical counseling is directive – it is not just listening, it is telling the counselee what the Bible says about their problem (Col 3:16).
A. Instruction plays a necessary part in every believer’s spiritual growth. Eph 4:11-13, Phil 4:9, Col 1:28
B. Mature believers are commanded to teach one another spiritual truths. Matt 28:19-20, Col 3:16, Titus 2:3-5, Heb 5:12-14
III. The Bible is sufficient to give relevant, practical instruction for the problems of life (2 Tim 3:16-17, 2 Pet 1:3).
A. God’s Word contains the remedy for all the spiritual problems we face in life. – 2 Pet 1:3
B. Instruction should be biblically based, accurate and appropriate.
1. There is power in the Word of God to change, convict, reveal, and direct us. – Heb 4:12, 2 Tim 3:16-17, Psalm 119:105
2. There is authority in the Word of God – 2 Tim 3:16, John 17:17
3. Teach the meaning of words and verses within their context – 2 Tim 2:15
4. Instruction should be appropriate to the counselee’s specific situation.
C. Instruction should be focused on Christ and the truth of the gospel
1. Counseling instruction is not biblical unless it exalts Christ.
2. Counseling instruction is not biblical if it focuses on principles and regulations apart from the life changing truth of the gospel. This would be pure behaviorism.
D. The Bible is practical
1. Instruction is to teach counselees to change their lives and make them more like Christ – Col 1:28, Rom 8:29
2. Instruction is to help their thinking and attitudes become more like Christ – Rom 12:2, 2 Cor 10:5, Phil 2:3-4
3. Instruction is to help their words and actions become more like Christ – Eph 4:25-32, 5:1-4, Col 3:8-14 (through 4:6)
IV. Instruction is for the purpose of change
Once we’ve identified through interpreting the data the areas that need change – their thinking, attitudes, words and/or actions, we are to instruct them through Scripture how to make those changes.
A. Replacement Principle
1. Put-offs and put-ons - Eph 4:22-32, Col 3:5-13
First it is important to identify the gospel truth in these passages. It is because of what Christ did on the cross that we are dead to our former manner of life and that we are holy and dearly loved, and able to clothe ourselves in Christ’s righteousness.
Look through these passages and identify the ungodly actions that need to be “put-off” and the godly actions that are to replace those.
We are not merely to tell people what they should not do, but what they should do.
2. Pleasing God vs. pleasing self - 2 Cor 5:9, Eph 5:7-10
3. Confession and repentance – 1 John 1:9
4. Prayer – Col 1:9-12, James 1:5
5. Practice – Phil 4:9
V. Instruction requires a knowledge of the Scripture
A. Be a student of the Word - Prov 2:1-9
1. Study
2. Memorize
3. Meditate – Psalm 1:1-3
4. Gain wisdom - consider how the truths learned apply to everyday situations
B. Develop a resource library
1. Have a file system of articles, sermons, and lessons for specific topics and passages/books of the Bible
2. Build a library of books and booklets that address a variety of problems that you may face in counseling situations.
C. Get further training in counseling methods and topics – The Master’s College, NANC Conferences (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors), Women Discipling Women Conferences.
Key Element #6 – Inducement
I. Introduction
Inducement is motivating the counselees to follow the Lord and make biblical change in their lives. It is encouraging them to make the commitments to follow through with the steps of change.
• Change does not occur by chance but by choice.
• The counselee can either choose to stay in their same condition – their pit of despair, being overwhelmed by their problems, stuck in the destructive cycle of hurtful relationships, or they can choose to accept God’s hand and His help to change.
• You, as the counselor, are to give them their options, help them see that they have a choice, give them direction from God’s Word, and then ask them what they want to do.
• Until they decide to obey, forgive, confess, repent, and trust God, biblical change will be difficult.
II. The commitments that counselors should seek to induce:
1 A. That the Bible is the truth and should be their final authority, taking precedence over their experience and feelings.
2 B. That they trust and depend on Christ to make the changes God wants them to make. 1 Cor 10:13, Prov 3:5-6, Jn 15:4-5, Phil 2:13, 4:13
3 C. That they view sin as God does and call it what it is (not the labels of the world).
4 D. That they accept personal responsibility for their words, thoughts, attitudes and actions.
1 1. No blameshifting. No excuses.
2 2. Put off the ungodly desires, thoughts, and actions and put on the godly responses.
5 E. That they seek to glorify God. 1 Cor. 10:31,
1 1. To worship and serve Him alone Matt 22:37-39
2 2. To be pleasing to Him 2 Cor 5:9
3 3. To do things God’s way. Psalm 1:1-3
III. Resistance to Commitment
1 A. Outward, direct resistance to change
• “I won’t forgive that person.”
• “I do not want to work on my marriage, I want out.”
2 B. Outward acceptance, but inward resistance
3 C. Failure to do homework or show up
4 D. An unregenerate heart- Acts 7:51, 1 Cor 2:14
5 E. They are receiving conflicting counsel
6 F. Unclear or wrong expectations of biblical counseling
7 G. Counselor’s responses to resistance
1 1. Confront the problem
2 2. Clarify the expectations
3 3. Remind them of the gospel truth and its power to change us
4 4. Warn them of the outcome of disobedience to God – Gal 6:7-8, Prov 13:15
5 5. Let them know that unless they are willing to participate in the change process you cannot help them.
Key Element #7 – Implementation
I. Introduction
Implementation is the process of putting to practice the biblical instruction. This is accomplished through assigning homework to the counselee. Well-tailored homework assignments aid the counselee in making biblical changes in their thinking, acting and speaking. The use of homework is a distinctive to the biblical counseling process and is viewed as an essential element of effective, lasting change.
II. Six Reasons for Assigning Homework
1. It communicates the biblical emphasis on “doing.” (2 Kings 5:10, Matt 7:24-27. 19:21-22, James 1:22-25. 2:17)
2. It brings hope and anticipation of change from the outset (Phil 2:12-13).
3. It puts responsibility for change where it belongs, on the counselee, and it provides them with a plan for how to solve future problems (Matt 7:5)
4. Homework gets them into God’s Word where the power of the Word can bring conviction (Heb 4:12), teach, rebuke and correct (2 Tim 3:16-17).
5. It aids the dehabituation/rehabituation process (changing bad habits) Eph 4:20-24.
6. It assists in discovering quickly who is serious about changing and who isn’t.
III. Assignments are to implement the biblical directives in the counselee’s life.
A. Procedures for assigning homework
1. During your first session explain the expectation of assigned homework each week and that if change is to occur in the counselee’s life, they will need to complete their weekly assignments.
2. Have the counselee get a notebook or blank book/journal in which to write their homework assignments.
3. Their Bible and notebook are to be brought to each counseling session.
4. The completed homework assignment will set the agenda for the next meeting. Be sure to go over the homework each week as this will emphasize the value you place on it.
5. Have the counselee write the assignment down in their notebook and you write it down also, so you make sure to follow up.
B. Assign useful, practical and appropriate assignments that address the change process for their specific problem area.
1. Bible reading of specific passages that address the problem. Two helpful references: A Homework Manual for Biblical Living by Wayne Mack, and Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling by John G. Kruis
2. Memorizing verses that are helpful towards biblical thinking (Ps 119:11, Ps. 1:1-3). Assign a “Discovering Wonderful Things” worksheet for the assigned verse. We are to help our counselees think biblically about the issues of life, and renew their minds (Rom 12:2, Eph 4:23)
3. Practical applications: List 15 ways you can show your husband you love and respect him. Do one each day. Keep a record.
4. Reading of additional resource materials – books, pamphlets, etc., and taking notes on reading – Write down the top 5 keys points and we will discuss them when we meet next.
5. Keeping a record of activities, words and actions; making charts of thought life, times of struggle with particular person or sin; thankfulness lists, etc.
6. Prayer assignments (Col 1:9-12, Ps 119:18, James 1:5)
7. Assign daily devotions, church attendance, ministry participation, taking notes on sermons.
Remember, homework is an essential element of biblical counseling. It gets the counselee into the Word of God where they can meet God, gain biblical thinking, and learn how to live godly in this present world.
Key Element #8 – Integration
I. Introduction
• Integration is the process of making biblical change a part of the counselee’s daily life.
• The goal of the counselor is to teach the counselee how to solve their problems biblically and how to apply the principles of change to whatever problems arise in the future.
• To help the counselee become less dependent on the counselor and independently dependent on God and His resources.
II. Integration Goals
1 A. The Word of God is integrated into their life; they are doers of the Word (Jm 1:22-25) and their mind is being renewed (Rom 12:2)
2 B. The biblical patterns learned are becoming habits. They are learning to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord (Col 1:9-11)
3 C. They are learning to walk by the Spirit, in His power for the glory of the Lord (Gal 5:16-25)
4 D. They are integrated into the church in fellowship and service and are practicing the “one-anothers.”
5 E. They are practicing the disciplines of grace: Bible study, prayer, Scripture memorization, meditation, etc.
III. Criteria for determining when integration has occurred
1 A. Understands and interprets problems and solutions biblically
2 B. Decrease in frequency and intensity of temptation
3 C. Experience of victory where and when counselee had previously failed
4 D. Failures understood and handled biblically
5 E. Self-evaluation and analysis applied
6 F. Reports of others
7 G. Counselee becomes the counselor
8 H. Continued progress over time
When the above are taking place on a consistent basis, integration has occurred and the counseling sessions can begin tapering off and come to a close with periodic follow-ups.
Resources:
Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling, Jay Adams
Methods of Biblical Change – 8 “I’s” Summary
Involvement
Build a relationship with the counselee so that effective biblical change can take place. Show love and concern, humility, honesty, gentleness, and patience.
Inspiration
Give hope through God’s Word that He does want to help, that there are answers, that they can change, and that He promises to provide everything they need to deal with their specific situation through the gospel of grace and the knowledge of God.
Investigation
Gather sufficient information to learn about the problem and determine the counsel to give. Ask questions, listen and observe with the intent of understanding their problem, their actions and reactions, and their heart issues.
Interpretation
Through much prayer for wisdom and understanding, make a biblical analysis of the problem, gaining God’s perspective, identifying their heart condition and the changes that need to be made – both heart changes and behavior changes, and formulate an agenda.
Instruction
Teach the gospel application to their lives, the specific Scriptural truths that apply to their problem area and practical biblical principles for change.
Inducement
Challenge and motivate the counselee to follow the Lord and make the commitments to obey, change, forgive, confess, repent and trust God.
Implementation
Give homework that will have the counselee interact with the living Word of God and help them put into practice the biblical instruction.
Integration
Apply the truths learned to daily life and encourage a heart devoted to loving and pleasing God, loving others, and committed to changing sinful patterns to godly ones.
What Is God Looking For In Children?
Parenting
Week 6: Session 1
Wayne Erick Johnston
Introduction
1. If your child is born again and has a new life in Christ, this study will improve your ministry by equipping you to help him grow in sanctification.
It will also assist you to better teach and train in essential areas of life.
2. If your child is not a believer: He can’t consistently obey God. He can’t overcome sin.
But by teaching him God’s standard…as he fails to reach it…God will use His Word to convict your child of sin. This will show him that he is not self-sufficient and not able to always obey, even when he wants to. This realization shows him his need for the Gospel.
3. What if you are not sure if your child is a Christian or not?
Many parents are not sure. God knows when we do not. One day He will reveal the final result.
Regarding Parents: Obey Them
Ephesians 6:1-2 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother
1. Lead!
2. Enforce rules.
3. Study God’s Word in preparation to teach truth
Proverbs 4.1-6
Hear , O sons, the instruction of a father
And give attention that you may gain understanding.
For I give you sound teaching;
Do not abandon my instruction.
Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
Love her, and she will watch over you.
4. How to become proficient at teaching and training your children
➢ study the Word of God diligently
➢ become a Christian who lives it in your own life
➢ study more to understand the nuances of how the Word
applies to each child’s heart at each stage of life
The result is worth the effort.
Regarding People: Be Humble, Not Arrogant; Love
Humility…not Arrogance:
Philippians 2.3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
And Love:
1 John 3.16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods,
and beholds his brother in need, and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
1. Love your spouse consistently
2. Have a basic house rule: Each of us regards the other as more important
3. Talk as a family about how each of you is doing
4. Regard pride as sin and explain it as such in private conversations
Regarding Work: Do It for God’s Glory
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.
1. Do YOUR work for God, not people
2. Stop teaching ideas that oppose Colossians 3.23
3. Ask your children why they do what they do
4. Memorize and discuss as a family Scriptures that teach the right motive for work
Regarding Temptation: Seek and Receive God’s Certain Help
The temptations will come from within:
James 1.14 “Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts…”
from the world:
John 15.19 “…but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”
And from the devil:
1 Peter 5.8: “..your adversary…prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1. His protection
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
2. His grace to help
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
3. His Word
Matthew 7.24-27 Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall !!
His Spirit
Romans 8.13 …by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body…
Resources for Further Study
Keys for Counseling Parents and Children
Biblical Love
Week 6: Session 2
Wayne Erick Johnston
The All-Encompassing Nature of Love
Matthew 22.35-40
Love for God
Love for People
Love is the Key to Interpersonal Relationships
How Could Biblical Love Not Solve…
Marriage Problems
Family Conflicts
Loneliness
The World Knows that Love is the Solution
The World Does not Know the Nature or Origin of Real Love
Our Society’s “Love” God’s Love
“You make my life better” Is for God’s glory
A feeling Action
Temporary Is given in the context of eternity
Unconditional acceptance Points to absolute truth
The Motives Required to Love
Honor God (Ephesians 2.10)
Emulate Christ (1 John 3.16)
With the Spirit’s Help, Kill the Flesh (Romans 8.13)
Love and Real Counseling Cases
Love as the Counselor’s Motivation
Theology of Counseling
Open Q & A
A Theology of Love and Counseling in the New Testament
The following three studies detail the theology of love in three ways:
1) What is Love?; 2) God is Love; and 3) Biblical Love for One Another.
*** Important Note to BCDASoCal 2012 Spring Class Students:
You are not assigned to answer the questions or complete the exercises.
How to Use the “What is Love” study
As a resource for counseling preparation
As a homework assignment for studious counselees
How to Use the "God is Love" study
To counsel the one sinned against in a serious, long term, or life changing way
To counsel one who does not love others
1 John 4.11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4.19 We love because He first loved us
To explain the nature of God to an unsaved person with whom you are speaking the Gospel
To counsel one who is grieving because of loss, pain, or extreme adversity
How to Use the "Biblical Love for One Another" Study
As the standard of motive and conduct for the biblical counselor
As a useful study for counselees to develop:
Personal compassion, care, and forgiveness
Biblical love and truth in regard to exhorting, rebuking, or confronting sin
What is Love?
• How do the Scriptures describe God’s love toward His children?
• How are we as believers to love each other?
• How are Christians to love God?
25. agapao, agape
love
• Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you…
• Luke 6:32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
• Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
• John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
• John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
• John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
• John 14:15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
• John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.
• John 15:9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
• John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
• John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
• John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
• John 15:17 This I command you, that you love one another.
• Romans 5:5 …and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
• Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
• Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
• Romans 8:35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
• Romans 8:37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
• Romans 8:39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
• Romans 12:9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
• Romans 13:8 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.
• Romans 13:10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
• 1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
• 1 Corinthians 13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
• 1 Corinthians 13:3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant…
• 1 Corinthians 13:8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
• 1 Corinthians 13:13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
• 2 Corinthians 5:14 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died…
• Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…
• Ephesians 5:2 …and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
• Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…
• Ephesians 5:28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself…
• Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
• Philippians 1:9 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment…
• 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.
• 2 Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
• Philemon 1:5 …because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints…
• Philemon 1:7 For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
• Hebrews 10:24 …and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds…
• James 1:12 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
• 1 Peter 1:22 Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart…
• 1 Peter 2:17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.
• 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
• 1 John 2:15 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
• 1 John 3:1 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
• 1 John 3:14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.
• 1 John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
• 1 John 3:17 But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
• 1 John 3:18 Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
• 1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
• 1 John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
• 1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
• 1 John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
• 1 John 4:12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.
• 1 John 4:16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
• 1 John 4:17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.
• 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
• 1 John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.
• 1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.
• Revelation 2:4 But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
27. agapetos
beloved, very dear
• Mark 1:11 and a voice came out of the heavens, “You are My beloved Son, in You I am well pleased.”
• 1 Thessalonians 2:8 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
4698. splagchnon
the inward parts, the emotions
affection (3), affections (1), bowels (1), heart (4), hearts (1), tender (1)
• Acts 1:18 (Now this man acquired a field with the price of his wickedness, and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his intestines gushed out.
• 2 Corinthians 6:12 You are not restrained by us, you are restrained in your own affections.
• Philippians 1:8 For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.
• Colossians 3:12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…
• Philemon 1:7 For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
• Philemon 1:12 I have sent him back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart…
• Philemon 1:20 Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.
• 1 John 3:17 But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
GOD IS LOVE
1 John 4:8 “God is love”
• Considering God’s love for His children
Complete one or two sections each day. For each passage, write down the words from Scripture or a summary of the ideas that describe the facet of God’s love illustrated in that section. At the end of each section, write down your prayer of thanks and praise for God’s great love (1 Thessalonians 5:18 – …in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus; Hebrews 13:15 - Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name).
• God’s love is seen in His causing us to be saved
John 3:16
Ephesians 1:4-8
Ephesians 2:8-9
Colossians 2:13-14
• God’s love is demonstrated by His pursuit of a close, personal bond with us
Psalm 62:8
John 15:9
Hebrews 13:5-6
1 John 3:1
• God’s love is expressed in the provision of His Word
Psalm 1:2-3
2 Timothy 3:16-17
1 Peter 2:1-3
• God’s love is exhibited by the grace that caused us to become His children
Romans 5:8
James 1:18
1 John 4:10
• God’s love is demonstrated by His expenditure of energy to maintain His relationship with us
Romans 8:35, 37
Hebrews 7:25
1 Peter 1:3-5
• God’s love includes the supplying of purpose for each day in life
Psalm 139:13, 16
Romans 5:3-5
Ephesians 2:10
• God’s love is observed in the unchangeableness of His character
Romans 8:31-32
Hebrews 13:8
1 John 1:5
• God’s love is exemplified in His ongoing grace
Romans 8:28
2 Corinthians 12:9
Hebrews 4:15-16
• God’s love is revealed in His kindness, giving good things to His children
Ephesians 1:18-21
1 Timothy 6:17
James 1:17
• God’s love envelops His children as He provides our needs
Philippians 4:19
2 Timothy 4:16-17
Hebrews 2:18
• God’s love is shown by giving us a new and full life
John 10.10
Romans 6:4
Philippians 1:21
Colossians 3:2-4
• God’s love is exhibited in His supply of all we need to overcome sin
Romans 6:10-12, 14
1 John 4:4
1 John 5:3-5
• God’s love is described by His action of giving us peace
John 14:27
John 16:33
Romans 5:1
Philippians 4:11-13
• God’s love is clearly evident in that He gives His children a life of joy
Philippians 4:4
1 Thessalonians 3:8-9
James 1:2-4
1 Peter 1:6-9
• God’s love is manifested by His making of the new heaven, our upcoming home
John 14:2-3
1 John 3:2
Revelation 22:1-6
• The Response of the Child of God
Each day for the next 3 weeks:
Consider the past 24 hours. Review the different aspects of God’s love in this study.
Consider how God’s love was demonstrated and how it related to the issues and events of your life.
Pray for 15 minutes:
Specifically give thanks for particular aspects of God’s love.
Praise Him for His incredible love.
Worship your Lord.
Give thanks for the many way God has loved you.
BIBLICAL LOVE
Personal compassion, care, forgiveness
Romans 12:15-16 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
I Corinthians 13:3a And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Philippians 1:8 For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:12-14 And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
I Thessalonians 2:7 But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.
I Thessalonians 2:8-9 Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.
Hebrews 13:1-3 Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body.
What are your opportunities to put these verses into practice? Record actions you can take to faithfully obey God in compassion, giving, caring, forgiving, being kind, being gentle, and being hospitable in the relationships God has given you.
• Biblical love includes truth and may include exhorting, rebuking, or confronting sin
Proverbs 10:17 He is on the path of life who heeds instruction,
But he who ignores reproof goes astray.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron,
So one man sharpens another.
I Corinthians 13:6b Love…rejoices with the truth;
Galatians 6:1-2 Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted.
Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.
Colossians 1:28-29 And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom that we may present every man complete in Christ.
And for this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.
I Thessalonians 2:11-12 …just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children,
so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.
I Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men.
When have you held back from confronting sin, either due to fear of man or lack of love for the one who needs to be restored? Are there those in your life now who must be exhorted or admonished? Plan a course of action which includes gentleness, examining yourself, and love as the driving force. Then boldly speak truth which God can use to restore, help, strengthen and complete your brothers and sisters.
Jesus is the ultimate pattern, example of love
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”
Hebrews 7:25 Hence, also, He is able to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.
Consider Jesus’ love for you when He was on earth, when He resisted temptation every day of His life, when He went to the cross, and now interceding for you and enabling you to receive mercy and grace when in need. Give thanks at length and be committed to loving in the same way He does.
Sacrifice, selfless, puts others above oneself
Galatians 4:19 My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you…
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Romans 9:1-5 I am telling the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience testifies with me in the Holy Spirit,
that I have great sorrow and unceasing grief in my heart.
For I could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh,
who are Israelites, to whom belongs the adoption as sons, and the glory and the covenants and the giving of the Law and the temple service and the promises,
whose are the fathers, and from whom is the Christ according to the flesh, who is over all, God blessed forever. Amen.
John 15:12-13 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”
2 Corinthians 12:15a And I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls.
I Corinthians 13:5 Love…does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered…
Think about those God has put in your life. How have you sinned against them by being selfish and seeking your own way? Repent. Ask forgiveness of those people. What can you do to regard them as more important? Will you gladly give? What can you do to love with the quality of Jesus’ love?
The importance of love
Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers all transgressions.
Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dish of vegetables where love is
Than a fattened ox served with hatred.
I Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I
have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”
“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I Timothy 1:5 But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
When have you pursued knowledge or faith or good deeds without the accompanying motives of love for your Lord and agape love for people? Commit yourself today to a course of love as the goal and love as the driving force behind what you say and do.
Servanthood, service
Mark 10:43-45 “But it is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant;
and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
2 Corinthians 4:5 For we do not preach ourselves but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your bondservants for Jesus’ sake.
Matthew 25:34-40 “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;
naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’
“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?
‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’
“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
Romans 12:9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
Romans 15:2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
I Thessalonians 2:8 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
Titus 3:14 And let our people also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, that they may not be unfruitful.
Hebrews 13:16 And do not neglect doing good and sharing; for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
In these verses, what words describe servanthood? What words describe its opposite? What actions will you take and what words will you say to live life in Jesus’ way, being this type of servant?
• You loving others biblically necessarily involves God, the Word, and the work of the Holy Spirit
John 17:17 “Sanctify them in the truth; Your Word is truth.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort;
who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 4:5 For we do not preach ourselves but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your bondservants for Jesus’ sake.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Philemon 1:7 For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. (Benefits others spiritually)
Philemon 1:20 Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.
1 Peter 2:1-3 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander,
like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation,
if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.
What clear-cut actions could you take to be working with the forces of God, His Word and His Spirit in your efforts to love others in a Christian fashion? How would that differ from what you have been doing? What are the ultimate goals of God when He expresses His love to people?
Love remembers and recognizes God’s work in another
Philippians 1:3-5 I thank my God in all my remembrances of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now.
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5 We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love each one of you toward one another grows ever greater;
therefore, we ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure.
This is a plain indication of God’s righteous judgment so that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which indeed you are suffering.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you may excel still more.
Philemon 1:4-5 I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers,
because I hear of your love, and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all the saints…
What might you choose to do to love those in your life according to this custom of remembering God’s work in others?
Love has as the #1 goal/motive: to please God
1 Peter 4:10-11 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 John 3:16-18 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
But whoever has the world’s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
Matthew 22:35-40 One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”
And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
“This is the great and foremost commandment.
“The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
“On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
John 15:16-17 “You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you.
“This I command you, that you love one another.
1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 …and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all men, just as we also do for you;
so that He may establish your hearts unblamable in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints.
Hebrews 10:22-25 …let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;
and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds,
not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.
Philemon 1:21 Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say.
When you care for others with a primary purpose other than pleasing God, what is your goal? What do you think and do on those occasions? When your motive for loving others is God’s glory, what thoughts run through your mind? What can you do to better take these verses to heart, actively loving others with the conscious objective of pleasing God? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Biblical Answers For “Blended Families" Part 1
Spouse Struggles: “My Children Come First”
Week 7: Session 1
John D. Street
Introductory Case Study
CASE STUDY
I. Step-Families Need Hope
A. Step-Families need broad-based hope
Romans 15:4 - “For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
Romans 15:13 - “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
1 Peter 1:3 - “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…”
B. Step-Families need specific hope
You must help them to OWN THEIR OWN PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ATTITUDES AND ACTIONS.
One article from a Minirth Meier publication said: “If the parents do their job and face their issues, the family will come through the crisis and work to make the adjustments that they learn (through counseling) must be made. Those adjustments include: Negotiation of roles…Relationship building…Validation of family rules, traditions, and customs…Validation of the new family unit.” (The Complete Life Encyclopedia, p. 110)
Colossians 2:23 - “These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgences.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
1. speculations: (‘υψωμα) that which is lifted up, high or exalted; it has to do with high sounding ideas that are not based upon truth but more related to man’s ideas about life rather than God’s ideas.
2. every lofty thing: (εμαιρομενον from επαιρω to lift up) the middle voice means to lift one’s self up; it means to exalt one’s self, one’s own ideas or something that belongs to you (for our purposes we could say that many stepparents exalt their biological children or family to a higher plane of priority than God gives them).
II. Step-Parents Must Be Taught A High View Of Marriage
Genesis 2:24 – “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother…”
EIGHT COUNSELING OBSERVATIONS
1. The husband/wife relationship is intended by God to be the permanent relationship. Just because this is your second marriage does not make it any less of a marriage in God’s eyes.
2. The parent/child relationship is intended by God to be a temporary relationship.
3. Your biological children (and stepchildren) must be reared to leave the home, not stay.
4. Your example of setting their Stepfather or Stepmother ahead of them as children is the model they need to see for their own future marriage. In creation (Genesis 2:18-4:1), in Paul’s description of the Christian home (Ephesians 5:22-6:5) and in the qualifications of elders (1 Timothy 3)—the priority is always given to the husband/wife relationship first and then the children second.
5. Marriage is thicker than blood. You may be blood related to your children, but your commitment to them is temporary. However, even though you are not blood related to your spouse your commitment is for a life-time!
6. The powerful and natural parental compulsion to love their children must be surrendered to the higher priority of being a godly mate and loving spouse.
7. A child-centered home, whether it is a first or second marriage, will always experience trouble because the children will eventually grow up and leave. This leaves you as a couple with a relationship in shambles. Little or no investment, time or energy has been given to it over the years.
8. The fleshly (sinful) passions and desires of your biological children (Proverbs 22:15 –foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child) will always pit you as the biological parent against their stepparent (your spouse) if you allow your home to be child-centered. They will prey on your parental affections and use them to drive a wedge between you and your spouse for their own self-centered purposes. When you allow yourself to be manipulated you are pandering their sinful nature. In this way you are hurting both your marriage and your children.
Conclusion
Biblical Answers For “Blended Families" Part 2
The Stepparent Trap: “You’re Not My Real Parent!”
Week 7: Session 2
John D. Street
Introduction
I. Stepchildren Are Sinners Too
Proverbs 22:15 - “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child”
A. Biblical description of a child
1. Proverbs on children
20:11 a child becomes known by his actions; either proper or improper behavior characterizes his life.
22:6 train a child so that he does his own thing and when he is old he will continue to do his own thing.
22:15 folly is bound up in a child’s heart; he is not wise and will choose things on the basis of immediate gratification and satisfaction.
23:13 parents are warned not to leave the child without discipline.
29:15 a child left to himself will disgrace his mother.
2. Psalms on children
51:5 “Behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.”
53:2,3 “God has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men, to see if there is anyone who understands, who seeks after God. Every one of them has turned aside; together they have become corrupt.”
58:3 “The wicked are estranged from the womb; these who speak lies go astray from birth.” (i.e. children are not the innocent creatures we make them out to be, from birth God says they begin their wickedness)
3. Paul on children
1 Cor. 13:11 “When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”
Eph. 4:14 “As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men by craftiness in deceitful scheming.”
Ten Property Laws for Toddlers:
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you’re playing with something, and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
B. Child psychology and step-parenting confusion
Ecclesiastes 7:10 - “Do not say, ‘Why is it that the former days were better than these?’ For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this.”
Ecclesiastes 7:14 - “in the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider—God has made the one as well as the other.”
II. A Unified Parenting Agreement Is Essential
A. Biblical roles must be practiced
1. The husband is the head of the home. (Ephesians 5:25-33; 6:1-4)
2. The wife is a suitable helper submissive to the leadership of her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
B. Biblical communication that speaks to the child’s heart
Larry’s Biological Children:
Judy’s Biological Children:
C. Biblical rules must be policy
1. Absolute rules of God cannot be compromised.
2. Provisional rules of the household are needed.
D. Biblical discipline should be consistent
Sin (Hamartiology), Dealing with Temptation and Growing Wiser Sin,
James 1:12-15
Week 8: Session 1
Ernie Baker
Introduction:
…This subject is a matter of the greatest importance! For the man who misconstrues the nature of his sin cannot be excused by merely shrugging his shoulders. His error is much more than a merely intellectual deficiency. He is engaged in an urgent peril. Sin is a very vicious and mortal enemy, an irascible and persistent power, which must certainly be known in order to be overcome (Berkouwer, page 235).
I. The background of the book:
A. Author and date: the half brother of the Lord (John 7:5; Acts 12: 17; Acts 15:13; 21:18; Gal. 2:9), before the first Gentile converts (Acts 10). Only one other James would have prominent enough to write this—James the son of Zebedee. But, he was killed in Acts 12:2. Probably A.D. 44-49.
B. Occasion: “To the twelve tribes who are dispersed abroad” (diaspora--Acts 8:1-4; 1:8; I Peter 1:1)
I. There are very special promises for those who endure trials/temptations (verse 12).
“Trials rightly met are friends in disguise that help sanctification but wrongly met become temptations to sin.”
A. Blessed by receiving the “Crown of life.”
1. Blessed—makarios: happy, fortunate, fulfilled, cf. Mathew 5:1-12)
2. crown of life= stephanos; laurels, athletes wreath, used of crown of thorns (Rev. 2:10; Hebrews 2:9; Phil. 2:1-12)
3. It’s from God, it must be good (Verse 17; I Cor. 2:9)
B. The key to receiving is winning the race (every trial/temptation is a segment of the overall race)
1. Verse 17—endure ( hupomone: persevere; verses 1-3) Think of a runner. “Perseverance of the saints” is being taught.
Approved—(dokimos: pass the test)
2. The test (peirazdo: test or trial [verses 2-3; Matt.4:1] depending on context), jump the hurdles (II Tim.2:5; Hebrews 12: 1-3)!
We do it for the coach and follow the example of the coach
3. Titus 2:11-12
A_ _ _ _
N _
T_ _ _
H_ _ _ _
E_ _ _ _
M_ _ _ _
Clearly this is critical. If we really loved God, we would not be bothered with this problem of being two-faced. We would look up to God in pure, unmixed devotion, and we would say to Him, “I want absolutely nothing but to go on with You and Your way. Will You give me wisdom” (Motyer)?
I. We are personally responsible for how we deal with temptation (13-15).
A. God is not responsible for my temptation and my sin (13)
What is the source of my desires when I am being tempted?
I John 1:5
B. No “blameshifting” allowed (14).
Note: A basic principle of biblical counseling is personal responsibility (cf. Genesis 4:5-7).
My own lust—(idias: B.A.G. page 370; belonging to an individual, peculiar to oneself, cf. Luke 6:44, cf. idiosyncracy). “Own” is moved forward in the sentence for the sake of emphasis
Quotes on human nature by Psychologists: Abraham Maslow “As far as I know we just don’t have any intrinsic instincts for evil. If you think in terms of basic needs; instincts, at least at the outset, are all “good” or perhaps we should be technical about it and call them “pre-moral,” neither good nor evil.” He also wrote; “[Human nature] seems not to be intrinsically or primarily or necessarily evil”(Toward a Psychology of Being)
Carl Rogers: “ I see members of the human species, like members of other species, essentially constructive in their fundamental nature, but damaged by their experience.” Also, “…experience leads me to believe that it is cultural influences which are the major factor in our evil behaviors.”
Eric Fromm: “The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not part of a fixed and biologically given human nature, but result from the social process which creates man.”
John Bradshaw: “Jesus calls us to creativity and our own unique I AMness. Today I know at the deepest level that I am—I am a wondrous person!” (Homecoming)
Biblical “Psychologist” Paul: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23; 3:10-18).
II. Understanding the physiology of sin, my sin (13-15).
A. The general flow: Bait, bait is taken, lust conceived, sin born, death
Cf. Romans 6:23; John 4: 14 (Dr. MacArthur says, “Desire, Deception, Design, Disobedience)
“In every sin are the seeds of death” (Romans 7:5)
B. Proper perspective on temptation and desires (verse 14-15)
Bound as I was, not with another man’s irons, but by my own iron will. My will the enemy held, and thence had made a chain for me, and bound me. For of a forward will, was lust made; and a lust served, became custom; and custom not registered became necessity. By which links, as it were, joined together (whence I called it a chain) a hard bondage held be enthralled”(Augustine, Confessions, Book 8).
• “Carried away”(exselkomenos/exselko; present passive participle, draw away, being dragged away, cf. Proverbs 5:1-6)
• “Enticed”(deleazdomenos/deleadzo; present middle participle, to entice, lure or catch by bait)
• “lust” (epithumias—desires; In the N.T. this is a neutral word, cf. Phil 1:23; Luke 22:15; Gal. 5:24)
• Cf. 4:1-2 (ek ton hedonon….epithumeite kai ouk echete)
C. Thinking through the implications:
1. The essence of the problem is lust—desires. I am becoming wise when I realize it is deeper than I think.
2. We are curious about sin (like fish with bait). I wonder what this would be like? I am growing wiser when I remember that “curiosity killed the cat.”
3. They are peculiar to you—“own.”
4. They reveal pride “my own lust.” They are about me.
5. These lusts are alive “being tempted”
6. It will take you farther than you want to go. I am becoming wise when I am realizing that my sin wants to take me somewhere (cf. the illustration of “leaven” in Scripture).
7. Sin is deceitful—“a little won’t hurt me” “It’s not that bad” It presents itself as Pepsi but it is really poison (II Cor.11:3,14). We are becoming wise when we realize our temptations are not as harmless as they look. Sin presents itself as something it is not.
8. It presents itself as harmless; lures look harmless (I just want to watch TV). When someone has a habitual problem with drugs we say they are “hooked.”
9. The battle is for my mind and will and they are influenced by our emotions.
10. It brings forth, meaning it has the ability to produce more of the same. I am becoming wise when I realize that giving in to desires doesn’t truly satisfy the desire it just reinforces it.
11. It produces slavery (Romans 6).
12. They are a powerful force, “lured away.”
Conclusion: But the point remains that we are inclined to minimize the biblical witness concerning, the truly alarming character of our sin. We then fancy our sin as “deficiency,” or “lack,” or “hiatus,” or “mistake,” or as something to be “regretted” but sin is not a disaster or catastrophe (Berhouwer, page 240).
Bibliology
Week 8: Session 2
Ernie Baker
Introduction:
I. A logical look at the construction of our superior belief system.
[pic]
II. The doctrine of inspiration of Scripture—the foundation of our system:
Whence but from heaven could men in different ages born, in different parts, weave such agreeing truths, or how or why should all conspire to cheat us with a lie? Unasked their pains, unwelcome their advice, starving their gains and martyrdom their price (John Dryden).
A. This is where the battle has raged! The background to the debate:
• German Higher criticism (late 1800’s)
• Princeton, Westminster Seminary and J. Gresham Machen
• “The Fundamentals”
• Uh Oh! We forgot The Sufficiency of Scripture as Psychology grew in influence.
• Current offspring—The Quest for the Historical Jesus, The DaVinci Code, Integration with Psychology.
B. Definitions (as compared to the word “revelation” in particular):
1. “Inspiration is a supernatural influence of the Holy Spirit upon divinely chosen men in consequence of which their writings become trustworthy and authoritative” (Carl F.H. Henry; Evangelical Dictionary of Theology; ed. Elwell).
2. Revelation: “…Is the act by which God makes Himself known to His creatures” (Rene Pache; The Inspiration and Authority of Scripture).
Inspiration: “…is the determining influence exercised by the Holy Spirit on the writers of the Old and New Testaments in order that they might proclaim and set down in exact and authentic way the message as received from God” (ibid).
Illumination:
C. Scriptural support:
1. II Timothy 3:16-17
2. II Peter 1: 19-21 (cf. Luke 16:31!)
3. Habakkuk 2:1-2
D. A key theological consideration—the noetic result of sin.
1.Noetic=
(cf. Ephesians 4:17-18)
2. We need outside revelation. We need God to speak into our world (Psalm 119: 105).
III. The doctrine of Inerrancy
A. Definitions:
1. Inerrancy is the view that when all the facts become known, they will demonstrate that the Bible in its original autographs and correctly interpreted is entirely true and never false in all it affirms, whether that relates to doctrine or ethics or to social, physical or life sciences (P.D. Feinburg; Evangelical Dictionary of Theology; ed.Elwell).
2. At ICR we believe the Bible to be the verbally inspired, fully inerrant Word of God, completely true in science and history as well as in matters of ethics and spirituality. Furthermore, we are confident that God is able to say exactly what He means, so His Word should be taken literally unless the context clearly indicates a metaphorical meaning is intended (Dr. Henry Morris; “Acts and Facts;” January 2003).
3. It is wholly trustworthy in matters of history and doctrine. However limited may have been their knowledge, and however much they have erred when they were not writing sacred Scripture, the authors of Scripture, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, were preserved from making factual, historical, scientific, or other errors. The Bible does not purport to be a textbook of history, science, or mathematics; yet when the writers of Scripture spoke of matters embraced in these disciplines, they did not indite error; they wrote what was true ( Harold Lindsell, The Battle for the Bible, 1976, pages 30-31).
B. Scriptural support for inerrancy
1. Matthew 5:17-18
2. John 10:35
C. Inaccurate views of inspiration and inerrancy
1.Non-Orthodox views of inspiration and inerrancy (from H. Wayne House, Charts of Christian Theology and Doctrine).
a. Inspiration:
1. Partial Inspiration: Only doctrines that were unknowable to human authors. God provided the general ideas but gave the authors freedom in expressing the truths.
2. Dictation: The author is a passive instrument, personality is set aside
3. Degrees: Certain portions are more or differently inspired than others.
b. Inerrancy:
1.Limited Inerrancy: The Bible is inerrant only in salvific doctrinal teachings. The Bible was not intended to teach history or science nor did God reveal matters of history or science to the writers. In these areas the Bible reflects the understanding of its cultures and may therefore contain errors (cf. ANE literature). This view is a major “Evangelical” view
2. Inerrancy of purpose: The Bible is without error in accomplishing its primary purpose of bringing people into personal fellowship with Christ. The Scriptures are truthful (inerrant) only in that they accomplish their primary purpose, not by being factual or accurate in what they assert. This view is even a lower view of Scripture than the “limited inerrancy” view.
D. Summary/highlights of the Chicago Statement on Inerrancy (Oct. 1978, followed by the statement on hermeneutics in Nov. 1982). [Highlights are my emphasis for class purposes. The numeration has been kept the same as the original document so that the points can be found in the original.]
A. 2. Holy Scripture, being God's own Word, written by men prepared and superintended by His Spirit, is of infallible divine authority in all matters upon which it touches: it is to be believed, as God's instruction, in all that it affirms, obeyed, as God's command, in all that it requires; embraced, as God's pledge, in all that it promises.
B. 3. The Holy Spirit, Scripture's divine Author, both authenticates it to us by His inward witness and opens our minds to understand its meaning. [cf. I Cor. 2:9-16, my addition].
C. 5. The authority of Scripture is inescapably impaired if this total divine inerrancy is in any way limited or disregarded, or made relative to a view of truth contrary to the Bible's own; and such lapses bring serious loss to both the individual and the Church.
D. Article 1; We deny that the Scriptures receive their authority from the Church, tradition, or any other human source.
E. Article 3; We affirm that the written Word in its entirety is revelation given by God.
We deny that the Bible is merely a witness to revelation, or only becomes revelation in encounter, or depends on the responses of men for its validity.
F. Article 4; We affirm that God who made mankind in His image has used language as a means of revelation.
G. Article 5; We affirm that God' s revelation in the Holy Scriptures was progressive.
We deny that later revelation, which may fulfill earlier revelation, ever corrects or contradicts it. We further deny that any normative revelation has been given since the completion of the New Testament writings.
H. Article 6; We deny that the inspiration of Scripture can rightly be affirmed of the whole without the parts, or of some parts but not the whole.
I. Article 7; We deny that inspiration can be reduced to human insight, or to heightened states of consciousness of any kind.
J. Article 10; We affirm that inspiration, strictly speaking, applies only to the autographic text of Scripture, which in the providence of God can be ascertained from available manuscripts with great accuracy. We further affirm that copies and translations of Scripture are the Word of God to the extent that they faithfully represent the original.
We deny that any essential element of the Christian faith is affected by the absence of the autographs. We further deny that this absence renders the assertion of Biblical inerrancy invalid or irrelevant.
K. Article 12, We affirm that Scripture in its entirety is inerrant, being free from all falsehood, fraud, or deceit.
WE DENY that Biblical infallibility and inerrancy are limited to spiritual, religious, or redemptive themes, exclusive of assertions in the fields of history and science. We further deny that scientific hypotheses about earth history may properly be used to overturn the teaching of Scripture on creation and the flood.
L. Article 13, We affirm the propriety of using inerrancy as a theological term with reference to the complete truthfulness of Scripture.
We deny that it is proper to evaluate Scripture according to standards of truth and error that are alien to its usage or purpose. We further deny that inerrancy is negated by Biblical phenomena such as a lack of modern technical precision, irregularities of grammar or spelling, observational descriptions of nature, the reporting of falsehoods, the use of hyperbole and round numbers, the topical arrangement of material, variant selections of material in parallel accounts, or the use of free citations.
M. Article 14,We affirm the unity and internal consistency of Scripture.
We deny that alleged errors and discrepancies that have not yet been resolved vitiate the truth claims of the Bible.
N. Article 16, We affirm that the doctrine of inerrancy has been integral to the Church's faith throughout its history.
We deny that inerrancy is a doctrine invented by scholastic Protestantism, or is a reactionary position postulated in response to negative higher criticism.
O. Article 17, We affirm that the Holy Spirit bears witness to the Scriptures, assuring believers of the truthfulness of God's written Word.
We deny that this witness of the Holy Spirit operates in isolation from or against Scripture.
P. Under “exposition,” Authority: Christ and the Bible
It appears that the Old Testament canon had been fixed by the time of Jesus. The New Testament canon is likewise now closed inasmuch as no new apostolic witness to the historical Christ can now be borne. No new revelation (as distinct from Spirit-given understanding of existing revelation) will be given until Christ comes again. The canon was created in principle by divine inspiration. The Church's part was to discern the canon which God had created, not to devise one of its own.
The word canon, signifying a rule or standard, is a pointer to authority, which means the right to rule and control. Authority in Christianity belongs to God in His revelation, which means, on the one hand, Jesus Christ, the living Word, and, on the other hand, Holy Scripture, the written Word. But the authority of Christ and that of Scripture are one. As our Prophet, Christ testified that Scripture cannot be broken. As our Priest and King, He devoted His earthly life to fulfilling the law and the prophets, even dying in obedience to the words of Messianic prophecy. Thus, as He saw Scripture attesting Him and His authority, so by His own submission to Scripture He attested its authority. As He bowed to His Father's instruction given in His Bible (our Old Testament), so He requires His disciples to do—not, however, in isolation but in conjunction with the apostolic witness to Himself which He undertook to inspire by His gift of the Holy Spirit. So Christians show themselves faithful servants of their Lord by bowing to the divine instruction given in the prophetic and apostolic writings which together make up our Bible.
By authenticating each other's authority, Christ and Scripture coalesce into a single fount of authority. The Biblically-interpreted Christ and the Christ-centered, Christ-proclaiming Bible are from this standpoint one. As from the fact of inspiration we infer that what Scripture says, God says, so from the revealed relation between Jesus Christ and Scripture we may equally declare that what Scripture says, Christ says.
Q. Infallibility, Inerrancy, Interpretation
Holy Scripture, as the inspired Word of God witnessing authoritatively to Jesus Christ, may properly be called infallible and inerrant. These negative terms have a special value, for they explicitly safeguard crucial positive truths.
lnfallible signifies the quality of neither misleading nor being misled and so safeguards in categorical terms the truth that Holy Scripture is a sure, safe, and reliable rule and guide in all matters.
Similarly, inerrant signifies the quality of being free from all falsehood or mistake and so safeguards the truth that Holy Scripture is entirely true and trustworthy in all its assertions.
We affirm that canonical Scripture should always be interpreted on the basis that it is infallible and inerrant. However, in determining what the God-taught writer is asserting in each passage, we must pay the most careful attention to its claims and character as a human production. In inspiration, God utilized the culture and conventions of His penman's milieu, a milieu that God controls in His sovereign providence; it is misinterpretation to imagine otherwise.
So history must be treated as history, poetry as poetry, hyperbole and metaphor as hyperbole and metaphor, generalization and approximation as what they are, and so forth. Differences between literary conventions in Bible times and in ours must also be observed: since, for instance, non-chronological narration and imprecise citation were conventional and acceptable and violated no expectations in those days, we must not regard these things as faults when we find them in Bible writers. When total precision of a particular kind was not expected nor aimed at, it is no error not to have achieved it. Scripture is inerrant, not in the sense of being absolutely precise by modern standards, but in the sense of making good its claims and achieving that measure of focused truth at which its authors aimed.
The truthfulness of Scripture is not negated by the appearance in it of irregularities of grammar or spelling, phenomenal descriptions of nature, reports of false statements (e.g., the lies of Satan), or seeming discrepancies between one passage and another. It is not right to set the so-called "phenomena" of Scripture against the teaching of Scripture about itself. Apparent inconsistencies should not be ignored. Solution of them, where this can be convincingly achieved, will encourage our faith, and where for the present no convincing solution is at hand we shall significantly honor God by trusting His assurance that His Word is true, despite these appearances, and by maintaining our confidence that one day they will be seen to have been illusions.
Inasmuch as all Scripture is the product of a single divine mind, interpretation must stay within the bounds of the analogy of Scripture and eschew hypotheses that would correct one Biblical passage by another, whether in the name of progressive revelation or of the imperfect enlightenment of the inspired writer's mind.
Although Holy Scripture is nowhere culture-bound in the sense that its teaching lacks universal validity, it is sometimes culturally conditioned by the customs and conventional views of a particular period, so that the application of its principles today calls for a different sort of action.
R. Transmission and Translation
Since God has nowhere promised an inerrant transmission of Scripture, it is necessary to affirm that only the autographic text of the original documents was inspired and to maintain the need of textual criticism as a means of detecting any slips that may have crept into the text in the course of its transmission. The verdict of this science, however, is that the Hebrew and Greek text appear to be amazingly well preserved, so that we are amply justified in affirming, with the Westminster Confession, a singular providence of God in this matter and in declaring that the authority of Scripture is in no way jeopardized by the fact that the copies we possess are not entirely error-free.
Similarly, no translation is or can be perfect, and all translations are an additional step away from the autographa. Yet the verdict of linguistic science is that English-speaking Christians, at least, are exceedingly well served in these days with a host of excellent translations and have no cause for hesitating to conclude that the true Word of God is within their reach. Indeed, in view of the frequent repetition in Scripture of the main matters with which it deals and also of the Holy Spirit's constant witness to and through the Word, no serious translation of Holy Scripture will so destroy its meaning as to render it unable to make its reader "wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus" (2 Tim. 3:15).
S. Inerrancy and Authority
In our affirmation of the authority of Scripture as involving its total truth, we are consciously standing with Christ and His apostles, indeed with the whole Bible and with the main stream of Church history from the first days until very recently. We are concerned at the casual, inadvertent, and seemingly thoughtless way in which a belief of such far-reaching importance has been given up by so many in our day.
We are conscious too that great and grave confusion results from ceasing to maintain the total truth of the Bible whose authority one professes to acknowledge. The result of taking this step is that the Bible which God gave loses its authority, and what has authority instead is a Bible reduced in content according to the demands of one's critical reasonings and in principle reducible still further once one has started. This means that at bottom independent reason now has authority, as opposed to Scriptural teaching. If this is not seen and if for the time being basic evangelical doctrines are still held, persons denying the full truth of Scripture may claim an evangelical identity while methodologically they have moved away from the evangelical principle of knowledge to an unstable subjectivism, and will find it hard not to move further.
We affirm that what Scripture says, God says. May He be glorified. Amen and Amen
E. So it is authoritative in all areas
1. Demonstrated in science:
• Not uniformitarianism: II Peter 3: 3-6
• The second law of thermodynamics: Genesis 3
• The paths of the seas: Psalm 8:8 and Matthew Fontaine Maury
2. Demonstrated historically
F. So it is trustworthy as absolute Truth
• Reinforced by manuscript transmission
The New Testament findings are even more decisive because a much larger amount of material is available for study; there are over 5,000 Greek New Testament manuscripts that range from the whole testament to scraps of papyri which contain as little as part of one verse. A few existing fragments date back to within 25-50 years of the original writing. New Testament textual scholars have generally concluded that 1) 99.99 have been reclaimed, and 2) of the remaining one hundredth of one percent, there are no variants substantially affecting any Christian doctrine (MacArthur Study Bible; “How we got the Bible”).
• Because of rules followed to test canonicity:
Over the centuries, 3 widely recognized principles were used to validate those writings which came as a result of divine revelation and inspiration. First, the writing had to have a recognized prophet or apostle as its author (or one associated with them, as in the case of Mark, Luke, Hebrews, James, and Jude). Second, the writing could not disagree with or contradict previous Scripture. Third the writing had to have general consensus by the church as an inspired book. Thus, when various councils met in church history to consider the canon, they did not vote for the canonicity of a book but rather recognized, after the fact, what God had already written….By Christ’s time, the Old Testament canon had been divided up into two lists of 22 or 24 books, respectively, each of which contained all the same material as the 39 books of our modern versions. In the 22 book canon, Jeremiah and Lamentations were considered one, as were Judges and Ruth (MacArthur Study Bible, “How we got our Bible”).
• Because it has the characteristics of Truth
• Purifies a life (I Peter 1:22; sets free, John 8:32; sanctifies, John 17:17).
• It works in real life –holds up under scrutiny and stabilizes a life (John 8:32; 2 Peter 1:12).
• God uses it to draw people to salvation and change them (James 1:18; Romans 10:17; Col. 1:5; I Thess. 2:13; 2 Thess. 2:10).
G. Therefore, as inerrant Truth, these results should follow:
1. It is to be obeyed (Gal. 5:7; Romans 2:8; John 3:21).
2. Is part of worship (John 4:24)
3. It is what ministry is about and spiritual warfare (2 Cor. 13:8; 2 Cor. 10:3; I Tim. 3:15).
4. It is a lifestyle (Eph. 5:9; 6:14; 2 John 4; I John 3:18-19).
5. Scripture is to be handled carefully because it is truth (2 Tim.2:15).
6. Should cause unity (2 John 1).
7. Should impact the way we speak (Eph. 4:15).
8. Should impact us from the inside out (Psalm 51:7; Eph. 4:23).
9. Passionate love for truth, for Scripture (Psalm 119:103-104).
IV. The Scriptures are sufficient
A. The doctrine in general (this is not just a biblical counseling doctrine; it is part of Orthodox Christianity).
• The Westminster Confession states: “The whole counsel of God, concerning all things necessary for his glory, man’s salvation, faith, and life, is either expressly set down in scripture, or by good and necessary consequence may be deduced from scripture; unto which nothing at any time is to be added, whether by new revelations of the Spirit, or traditions of men” (1:6).
• Sola Scriptura and its historical background
• “Both Scripture and Tradition must be accepted and honored with equal sentiments of devotion and reverence” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 82).
• False paths [i.e. exegesis] will be avoided if actualization of the biblical message begins with a correct interpretation of the text and continues within the stream of the living Tradition, under the guidance of the Church’s Magisterium (The Interpretation of the Bible in the Church, 1993).
• Roman Catholic doctrine is shot through with legends and dogmas and superstitions that have no biblical basis whatsoever. The stations of the cross, the veneration of saints and angels, the Marian doctrines such as the Immaculate Conception, the Assumption, and the notion that Mary is a co-mediatrix with Christ—none of those doctrines can be substantiated by Scripture. They are a product of Roman Catholic tradition (John MacArthur; Sola Scriptura!; page 157-158).
B. The doctrine in particular for counseling:
My definition biblically—all things necessary for life and godliness are addressed through either principle or precept in Scripture.
• 2 Peter 1:3-4
• 2 Tim. 3:16-17
• Psalm 19:7-10
My definition theologically—we have a complete belief system. All the ingredients necessary for a thorough counseling system are in Scripture.
Conclusion:
-----------------------
Galatians 6:7, 8a
Proverbs 13:15
Galatians 6:7, 8b
Matthew 11:28-30
________________
________________
________________
________________
____________
____________
Who is
____?
Proverbs 4:23
Decision Point
_________
Oriented
________
Oriented
________________
................
................
In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.
To fulfill the demand for quickly locating and searching documents.
It is intelligent file search solution for home and business.
Related searches
- biblical numbers and their meanings pdf
- biblical words and definitions
- aerobics and fitness association of america
- association of colleges and universities
- 200 biblical words and definitions
- association of physicians and surgeons
- association of surgeons and physicians
- american association of finance and accounting
- biblical symbols and their meanings
- biblical types and symbols
- biblical imagery and symbolism
- american association of state colleges and universities