Chapter 12



Lecture NotesChapter 12: Divorce and RemarriageLearning Objectives12-1: Discuss the evolution of divorce practices over time.12-2: Summarize the processes involved in the various stations of divorce.12-3: Describe some of the key effects of divorce on adults and children.12-4: Identify strategies that can help minimize the negative impact of divorce on families.12-5: Discuss the unique challenges of stepfamilies as well as techniques to ensure their health and well-being.OutlineTrends in Divorce and RemarriageDiscuss the evolution of divorce practices over timeRisk factors in divorceLow educationDivorce in families of originPartner of a different ethnicityCohabitating before marriageEarly age of marriageHaving children before marriageProvide an overview of historical trends in divorceAncient ChinaAncient RomePre-Christian cultures“jumping the broom”Roman Emperor ConstantineChristianityProvide an overview of historical trends in the United StatesFirst divorce in the New World in 1639The PuritansStigmatization of divorce desertionDivorce laws in UtahDivorce mills: States or regions in the 19th century where people came to get easy divorcesMigratory divorce: The trend where couples move to other cities, states, or even countries to obtain divorces that are illegal in their areaIndustrializationMost initiated by menWomen usually lost children and were socially shunnedProvide an overview of contemporary trends in the United StatesAmerican cultureDivorce in the 1970sChanging gender rolesJoint legal custody: A legal ruling allowing both divorced parents to have equal access to and responsibility for their childrenJoint physical custody: The actual practice of both divorced parents spending equal amounts of time and taking equal responsibility for their children.Legal trendsNo fault divorce: A contemporary trend where no one has to prove fault or wrong-doing for a divorce; divorce can occur unilaterally, or without the consent of a second party, and possessions one owned before the marriage remain his/hersLegal separation versus divorceSeparation agreement: A document that outlines custody, visitation, and bill-paying schedules, among other thingsThe Complexities of DivorceSummarize the processes involved in the various stations of divorceProcesses of divorceA long process“Leaver” and “leav-ee”Who initiates divorces today?“His” and “her” marriagesNormative relationship development pathologizedSocioeconomic differencesEmphasize there are many changes financially, legally, and emotionallyLGBT relationshipsNo protection under lawPsychological processesEmotionally distant/neutral affective style: Emotional disengagement from one’s romantic partnerEmotionally volatile affective style: Continuous engagement in an attack—defend pattern and emotions (both positive and negative) run high.Bohannon (1970) argued for six stations of divorce:emotional—Falling out of love, losing intimacy, drifting apart, feeling sad, angry, and lonely; this is the only station that typically occurs before a couple is legally divorcedlegal—Filing official court papers that legally dissolve the unioneconomic—Creating a new life with more or less money, selling property, alimony arrangements, child support issues, insurance, debts, assets, and so onparental—Ceasing to be co-parents in one home and beginning a new relationship of co-parenting with children moving in and out of one’s home with visitation and custody arrangements; re-establishing rules and disciplinecommunity—Being accepted or ostracized by previous neighbors, coworkers, merchants, church members, and so on; perhaps moving to a new community and forming new friendships and connectionspsychic—Finally feeling that one’s life is truly separate from the old life, the person is psychologically independent and has a stable new lifeThe Effects of DivorceDescribe some of the key effects of divorce on adults and childrenProvide an overview of the effects of divorceThe first year is the hardestAfter 6 years most doing OKHetherington’s six patterns of adjustment:Enhancers: Postdivorce, these people are successful in employment, relationships with their children, and physical and mental well-beingGoodenoughs: Postdivorce, these people do fairly well but do not exhibit the kind of drive to achieve a higher quality of life that the enhancers do; their new lives resemble their old livesSeekers: Postdivorce, these people anxiously seek a new partner to marry right away; tend to have low self-concepts and are highly emotionalSwingers: Postdivorce, these people spend a lot of time in bars and clubs, take more drugs, have more sex, and engage in more antisocial behavior than most divorced adults; also rate high on depressionCompetent loners: Postdivorce, these people are single, independent, happy, and self-confident; have successful careers and many friendsDefeateds: Postdivorce, these people have low self-concepts and high rates of depression and antisocial behavior; tend to drink and use drugs, get into trouble with the law, and have health problemsProvide an overview of the effects of divorce on womenSharp decline in incomeCustodial mothersWelfare and child support lawsParent–child relationshipImportance of social supportBiological responseStress reactivity and physiological arousalAttachment stylePursuer–distancer and disengaged marriagesPursuer–distancer marriages: Marriages involve nagging, hostility, and back-biting by wives; husbands then retreat and withdraw; couples have intense angry conflictsDisengaged marriages: Couples live independent lives in the same house; have few interests in common and different sets of friends; don’t fight but don’t engage in positive waysDivorce and intimate partner violenceDivorce mediation: A trained professional (attorney and psychologist) helps a couple devise an amicable agreement on custody, dividing up property, child visitation, child support and alimony, scheduling activities, and so onProvide an overview of the effects of divorce on menFare better financially but worse psychologicallyInterracial divorceDivorce may be emasculatingFinancial issues:Discuss with the class whether thee law regarding “deadbeat dads” is helpfulPoor menPsychological processesEgalitarian viewpoints clash with traditional gender rolesProvide an overview of the effects of divorce on childrenResearch yields mixed resultsDecline in relationship with fatherCohort effectsGenerally more internalizing and externalizing problemsFeelings of abandonment and rejectionMore likely to divorceAssortative mating: A theory that says people with similar challenges in personality, antisocial behavior, impulsivity, and poor relationship skills find each other and marry, increasing the risk for both divorce and poor outcomes in their childrenDivorce transition guides: Trained professionals (social workers and psychologists) who consult with families in order to minimize conflict and counsel parents on the best way to talk to their children about divorce, as well as co-parent after divorceEmphasize there are positive outcomes of divorceGood coping skills positive relationship with parentsCustodial mothers and parentingChildren not passive recipients of divorceChildren’s Bill of Rights in Divorce—refer students to the textReducing the Negative Impact of DivorceIdentify strategies that can help minimize the negative impact of divorce on familiesMinimizing the negative impact of divorceNo fault divorcesBest interests of the child: The contemporary legal standard whereby all decisions made in divorces and custody rulings include individualized decisions regarding what would benefit the children mostPsychotherapy with individuals and familiesCo-parenting classes: Courses that help parents understand the effects of divorce on children, develop co-parenting contracts, help parents work together to protect children’s mental healthHire only one objective expertSpecial masters: Professionals who consult with parents regarding their children’s needs before, during, and after divorceParenting coordination office: Locates psychologists to serve as special masters to assist parents in custody problemsCouples coping enhancement training: Program that focuses on changing maladaptive thinking patterns, improving interactions between partners, improving stress management techniques, increasing positive communication, improving problem solving, and so on, in order to prevent divorceRemarriageDiscuss the unique challenges of stepfamilies as well as techniques to ensure their health and well-beingStepfamiliesRemarriageStepparents not a new phenomenonBlended families: A remarried family wherein each partner has children he or she brings to the partnershipHigh divorce rateBiochemical influencesSpecial challenges for stepfamiliesHealing and adjustment take timePhysical and mental health benefits not the sameMore autonomousChildren complicate the pictureDisciplineUnrealistic expectationsLegal and financial issuesDifferent viewpoints on stepfamiliesStranger model: A viewpoint wherein a stepparent is treated like an acquaintance, instead of a family member, in terms of his or her relationship with stepchildrenSociobiological perspective: A viewpoint that argues that evolutionarily, we are inclined to care for our biological kin in order to continue our gene pool; we are less likely to love or care for children with whom we share no genes in commonDependency model: A viewpoint which assumes that a stepchild was financially dependent on a coresident stepparent and so stepparents have rights and responsibilities for their stepchildrenIn loco parentis: Laws allowing a stepparent to gain custody of stepchildren if the biological parent is absent and it can be proven that the stepparent played an essential parenting role in that child’s lifePositive aspects of stepfamiliesTend to be more flexible, open, and communicativeStress techniques that ensure the health and well-being of stepfamiliesSerious self-reflectionLearn to be happy aloneClearly define expected partner and parenting rolesSocial supportImportant role of stepfathersStepparents should not try to be parents right away ................
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