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The Hunger
The Hunger
My clothes don’t fit me anymore, and I don’t look the same. When I look at my reflection all I feel is utter shame.
When I was thin I owned the world. Starving hurt and purging damaged me. It was worth it when I saw what I had come to be.
Hot air of the spring ruffles through my hair that used to be so long. I cut it off while manic, while everything I did was wrong.
Come back to me, O memory of ribs and bones of hips. Come back to me, O hunger pangs and vomit on my lips.
They tell me it’s so wonderful that it all has come to this end, but they don’t know that those diseases were my true and only friends.
Be Real
Naked faced for sleep alone
Still fearing the pillow will talk
About how I really look.
Donning masks before pants
Keeping up the charade
In this social masquerade.
Asking same questions
Giving same answers,
How’s it hanging?
Nothing much how about you?
Does anybody else get tired of it?
Does anybody else wish the world
Was ready for real people?
Who answered honestly
When asked about their day.
Yearned to pour to whomever may inquire
Yet reigned myself back for fear of smothering,
Few people are ready for the torrent of others.
Everybody is lonely
Everybody friendless,
Not getting along with disguises
How could we without?
I fail another attempt to write myself away
Drawing ink from my soul until the well runs dry,
More proof that paper isn’t ready for some stories.
Natural looking masks met with
“Are you sick?”
The answer is yes but I won’t say so
I’ll just say, “Fine thanks.”
Though it doesn’t make sense,
Nobody will say so,
For the response is on the list
Of accepted things to say.
Be real
Be fully you and fully new
Wake up and shower in paint thinner
Let your colour shine
Let the sun mature the hues
And heal every bruise.
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