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Alex GallantEnglish 217 #71268October 12, 2014“Finding the Right Hot Dog”Professor BerryHot dogs. An All-American food. The staple of backyard picnics and 4th of July celebrations. To the average American citizen, hot dogs are just another generic product along the assembly line of classic food. For me, finding the right hot dog is not a simple chore. It is not because I am a picky eater, nor is it due to my distaste for the cylindrical food category. I have Celiac Disease. For the past eight years, after being diagnosed in 9th grade with the condition, doctors required me to adopt a strict gluten-free diet. Anything containing wheat, rye, barley or oats is off-limits. Well, I guess I could cross hamburger and hot dog buns, pizza and pasta off the list, along with a host of other popular items. The early goings were tough, but now, with numerous restaurants and fast-food joints offering up gluten-free options, the process is becoming easier. Yet, a couple items still eluded me when finding places to eat, namely hamburger and hot dog buns. The gluten-free alternatives are not only tough to master, but also expensive. In my four years in Arizona, I could not pinpoint a place offering them. A few weeks ago, I located one historic Tempe eatery that changed all that: Ted’s Hot Dogs. A bunch of trial and error is usually required whenever I forage for new places offering gluten-free food. Luckily, to find Ted’s Hot Dogs, a friend tipped me off. In my eight years eating gluten-free, I consumed countless cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and even bratwursts without buns. This was especially true at restaurants. Knowing that Ted’s offered me a chance to eat a dog the way it should be eaten, I could not let this opportunity pass. Even while walking to my 2007 atomic blue Honda Civic, I noticed an extra pep in my step. Trying new foods is always a blast, but the last time I consumed an authentic gluten-free hot dog was a good five or six years ago. That was with a store bought bun too, not even at a restaurant. The journey up the rickety, squeaky elevator to level four of the parking garage seemed to last forever. I eventually made it, unlocked the driver side door and hopped in. The drive to Ted’s Hot Dogs featured the usual I-10/AZ-202 interchange gridlock, and that only heightened my anticipation.The corner of South McClintock Drive and East Broadway Road could not come soon enough. I turned right onto Broadway and left into the Ted’s Hot Dogs parking lot as fast as I could, legally of course. My eyes were immediately drawn to the neon red illuminated Ted’s Hot Dogs sign in the foreground of the building, but I soon found them shifting to the people composing an endless line out the back door. That has to be a good sign. Now, everyone except me was likely there for the regular hot dog buns, but that did not matter. A busy restaurant is a busy restaurant. I assumed my position behind a orange-vested construction worker in the back of the line. When I took my first steps into the restaurant, I transported back in time. The walls, plastered in brown paneling, coupled with the tables and booths constructed with laminated wood, all combined to provide a true, authentic old-school vibe. An empty table might as well have been on the endangered species list, because I could not track one down. Maybe there will be one by the time I reach the front of this line? That inherent buzz, which really cannot be described, emanated throughout the place. I heard the screaming toddler in a booth just steps to my left, but it didn’t really seem to bother me, or anyone for that matter. Crackle. Sizzle. Pop. I washed, rinsed and repeated those sounds in my head. They were coming from the charcoal grill near the register. A good 7-to-10 people separated me from that location in line, but the sound, and more importantly the smell, of hot dogs on a charcoal grill could be sensed from my location. A charcoal grill? Indoors? This is going to be good. Twenty minutes already elapsed. I scrolled through Twitter for what seemed like the 10th time already while in line. “Sir, what would you like?” I heard from behind the counter. I kept scrolling Twitter. “Sir? Sir?” There were still five people in front of me. Surely he was not talking to me, right? “Sir?” I looked up and the cook was staring right at me. “Oh, I’m sorry!” I exclaimed. Luckily I examined the menu options before coming, so I knew what I wanted. “May I have an all-beef on a gluten-free bun?” I postured. “Sure thing!” the cook shouted. I instantly was impressed with the knowledge he possessed in regards to the restaurant’s gluten-free choices. You would not believe the number of places I go to that don’t even know their own options. That’s another good sign.Finally! I made it to the front of the line. I sure wasn’t expecting what I saw. This is impressive. Hot dogs and bratwursts grilling on the charcoal top with all the fixings alongside ready to be topped off by the cook. “Sir, do you need me to change gloves?” the cook asked. “If you could, that’d be great!” I replied. This was another star in my book. Although some people with Celiac Disease get very ill with just the slightest cross-contamination, I luckily do not. But still, whenever possible, I ask for the server or cook to change gloves before preparing my gluten-free meal. For the cook to ask without me even bringing it up was outstanding. The cook took off his right disposable glove first, and then his left, and put on a fresh pair. He placed my all-beef hot dog into the gluten-free bun, and as I pointed the condiments out, proceeded to top it with ketchup, mustard and just a hint of relish. I hit the register next and paid with my debit MasterCard. “Enjoy your meal, sir!” That concluded a 30-minute process in line. It was time to see if this was worth the wait.Would this gluten-free hot dog live up to tremendous experience of just standing in line at this place? By this time, a couple booths opened up, and I plopped down into one of them along the sidewall adorned with Buffalo and New York state relics and memorabilia. Ted’s Hot Dogs originated in upstate New York, and the fact they could transplant a completely different region of the country and place it on the corner of McClintock and Broadway in Tempe, Arizona is impressive. But enough pleasantries, now for the real test.One bite in and I knew the time searching for this place and standing in line paid off. How could I tell? First and most importantly, the gluten-free bun, likely made with rice or tapioca flour, did not crumble apart in my hands. Success! Without gluten, breads and buns have a hard time staying intact. That’s why finding the right gluten-free options is critical. Ted’s met that criteria. Second, the combination of flavors reached near perfection. The juiciness of the all-beef dog, complemented with the sweetness of the mustard and savory ketchup and relish, was almost too much to handle. I finished off that hot dog in no time, perhaps almost too quickly. That was just too good.Before departing Ted’s Hot Dogs, I glanced around at the other patrons: I wonder if they appreciate these hot dogs as much as I do? Surely, they couldn’t have, unless another gluten-free comrade was in my midst at the time. But most likely, to these customers, hot dogs are just another food to consume. Sure, Ted’s Hot Dogs are phenomenal, and everyone gets their money’s worth. To me, that experience was special. I do not get to eat hot dogs just like everyone else. I cannot just pop into any old restaurant and randomly pick something off the menu. Living with Celiac Disease has its challenges. In the earlier years after my diagnosis, my frustration level concerning the number of options out there for me certainly reached higher levels than the present day. Yet even now, especially when with friends, I have to tell them that we can’t just stop anywhere on the way back from an event to grab a bite. I hate having to do that, but luckily most have been receptive and understanding to my restrictions. As I walked out of Ted’s Hot Dogs and proceeded towards my car, I couldn’t help but feel excited about adding this storied establishment to my gluten-free list. Hot dogs. An All-American staple that I thought I lost when I initially received my diagnosis, was now squarely back on the map, in Tempe, Arizona. ................
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