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-374073-5334000Emotional Management Grades 6–8Topic: How to Help Yourself Feel BetterLearning Intentions: We will be able to:Notice that we feel uncomfortableChoose a way to help ourselves feel better: Ask to talkUse positive thoughtsHeart breathingDo itMove onSuccess Criteria: We know we’re successful when we can notice that we feel uncomfortable, choose a way to help ourselves feel better, do it, and then move on with our day.Materials for Activity: NoneStandard Circle Setup:Chairs in a circleCenter piece2–3 talking pieces (to allow selection)Shared agreements (refer to your school PBIS expectations)Teaching Procedure:Welcome and namesReminder: shared agreements (refer to your school PBIS expectations)Begin with a mindful practice (see “Menu of Mindful Practices”).Identify topic: HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTERToday we are going to learn a really helpful skill. It’s called how to help yourself feel better. Opening circle question/prompt: What are some uncomfortable things (feelings, events, situations) that might make middle school students lose focus and concentrate on those things instead of on schoolwork?Explain need for skill (connect with PBIS when appropriate):Sometimes when we are at school, we might have uncomfortable feelings because of things that are going on with our families, our friends, or even with academics. Those uncomfortable feelings can be so strong that they distract us from our main job at school—our schoolwork. Those feelings can then make it hard to be responsible, kind, and respectful to those around us. If we know how to help ourselves reduce or get rid of those uncomfortable feelings, we can help ourselves feel better and get on with our day.Go around with talking piece and ask: Why might it be important to learn how to do something to help yourself feel “better enough” so that you can get back to your schoolwork?Teach learning intentions:Notice that you feel uncomfortable and say to yourself, “I feel uncomfortable.” (If students name the feeling: mad, sad, hurt—even better!)Choose a way to help yourself feel better. (Ask to talk. Use positive thoughts. Heart breathing.) There are lots of things that people do to help themselves feel better. I’m going to teach you three ways that help. The first way is to just raise your hand and ask to talk. Talking to an adult about what makes you feel uncomfortable can help you feel better. The second way is using positive thoughts. The third way is doing something called heart breathing. I’ll teach you about the last two ways a little later.Then do it. Try your choice.Move on. Tell yourself, “It’s time to get back to work.” It’s important to try to help ourselves feel better and then get back to our work. That’s the responsible thing to do, and it will help us to be successful in school and in life. We can feel uncomfortable and still do what needs to be done. Successful people know how to do this—you can learn to do it, too.Success Criteria: We know we’re successful when we can notice that we feel uncomfortable, choose a way to help ourselves feel better, do it, and then move on with our day.Teach using positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are the words we tell ourselves to help us feel better. They are encouraging words we can say to ourselves—words like, “I can do it,” or “I will feel better,” or “I can keep going.” Positive thoughts help even if you don’t really believe them—you just have to say them. Positive thoughts work this way: You notice your uncomfortable feeling and then you say, “BUT” and add in your positive thoughts. So, for example, pretend that you are feeling uncomfortable because your teacher just told the class that it is time for reading and you don’t really like reading. You start feeling uncomfortable. Instead of doing something that gets you into trouble, you can do the responsible thing and use positive thoughts. You think to yourself, “Reading is boring and it makes me feel uncomfortable, BUT I can do it, anyway.” Keep saying this to yourself and then get on with your reading work. Ask the students for other ideas of positive thoughts to use.Teach heart breathing.Let’s learn heart breathing now. For heart breathing, the first thing you do is think of a really happy memory—something that makes you smile and feel loving on the inside. It could be a memory of fishing with your grandmother, or helping your mom make dinner, or going to the park with your family. It should be a really wonderful memory. Ask students to share their memories so you can be sure each one is thinking of something. Next, put one hand on your heart and the other hand on your belly. Now take a deep breath through your nose—so that the air goes into your belly and your hand moves out. Let’s try that together. Watch and give corrective feedback if needed. Encourage students to breathe slowly. Now we are ready for heart breathing. Keep your hands in the same position. Look down or close your eyes and think of your happy memory. Take some deep breaths and now imagine that your happy memory is in your heart (right under your other hand) and imagine breathing right through your heart and your happy memory. Imagine that the air is actually going in and out of your heart and your memory instead of your mouth or nose. Keep doing that for five breaths. Let your face smile a little.Provide students with examples and non-examples of helping yourself feel better, such as:A student is sitting at his desk and keeps thinking about not getting a turn at the computer today. How does he feel right now? Let the students tell you—mad, angry. Uncomfortable. Right. He feels mad, and mad is an uncomfortable feeling. This student knows that he has to get his work done, so he decides to help himself feel better. He thinks to himself, “I feel uncomfortable. I’m going to use heart breathing to feel better and then get back to my work. I need my happy memory.” Model heart breathing and then getting back to work.Ask the students: Was the student being responsible? How do you know? How do you think the student feels now?A student is sitting at his desk and keeps thinking about not getting a turn at the computer today. How does he feel right now? Let the students tell you—mad, angry. Uncomfortable. Right. He feels mad, and mad is an uncomfortable feeling. This student feels uncomfortable. He decides to get up from his desk and use the computer now—even though it is not his turn. The teacher notices this, and he gets into trouble for getting out of his seat without permission.Ask the students: Was this student being responsible? How do you know? How do you think this student feels now?A student is sitting at his desk and keeps thinking about not getting a turn at the computer today. How does he feel right now? Let the students tell you—mad, angry. Uncomfortable. Right. He feels mad, and mad is an uncomfortable feeling. This student feels uncomfortable. He decides to help himself feel better by using positive thoughts, so he thinks to himself, “I didn’t get a turn to use the computer today and I feel mad about that, BUT I will probably get a chance tomorrow. I’ll be OK today. It’s time to get back to work.”Ask the students: Was this student being responsible? How do you know? How do you think this student feels now?Practice/Role Play 3x: Have each student describe a situation in which they might want to use this skill. Role play these situations, or use the scenarios above or below. For a detailed model of how to use role play and give feedback, see Skillstreaming (McGinnis, Ellen, and Arnold Paul Goldstein.?Skillstreaming in Early Childhood New Strategies and Perspectives for Teaching Prosocial Skills. Research Press, 2003).A student walks into class in the morning and feels really upset and uncomfortable because her mom yelled at her just before getting to school. A student comes in from lunch. Some of the other kids called him names at lunch and when he yelled back, he got into trouble. Now he does not want to do anything—especially not math.Activity to Practice Skill: Handshakes (Ropes and Challenges Education Curriculum Guide)Assorted handshakes are a way to have fun, find new partners, and reconnect with other partners. They can be used singly or in combination with others. Teach students one of the handshakes below. Once paired, give the students a scenario and have them take turns using one of the skills. Have the students find a new partner, teach another handshake, provide a new scenario, and ask the students to use a different skill. Ask the students to find their original partner, do that handshake, and then practice a third skill. Lumberjack—Alternate stacking your thumbs with your partner, plant feet far apart, and rock back and forth in a “sawing” motion.Dairy farmer—One person interlocks fingers with thumbs down; other person grabs both of the thumbs and does “milking” motion.Bass fisherman—Both parties slap the forearm of their partner while looking their partner in the eye and saying, “I’ll never forget that face.”City slicker—Both parties miss with “high fives,” then proceed to grab each other’s ankles (one has right foot raised and the other left foot raised).Toddler—One person pretends to be the toddler, learning to walk and walking unsteadily toward the other person while that other person gives lots of encouragement (“Come on! You can do it! One more step!”).Politician—Both parties shake each other’s hands vigorously while saying loudly and without affect, “How do you do, how do you do, how do you do?”Celebrate—Make a creative movement unique for you and your partner.Closing Circle Question: When will you practice helping yourself feel better this week? ................
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