IDEAS FOR CARING BEHAVIORS LIST - HOME - THE …
IDEAS FOR CARING BEHAVIORS LIST
To stimulate other ideas for what you want to put on your list of caring behaviors your spouse can do for you. Remember, this is not a demand list – it is only a list of options that can be done, perhaps doing 3-5 of the small ones on special days and at least one on every regular day. Give your spouse lots of little things that will please you. Give this or a separate list to your spouse ( What Makes Me Feel Loved )[1]. See also Getting The Love You Want, Harville Hendrix, the “Reromanticizing” exercise. In the “Imp” (Impact or importance), fill in a 1-10 rating, with 10 as the highest, for the top 5 or 10 things you like. (Keep this in a relationship notebook or file, so it is retrievable!)
| |THE CARING BEHAVIOR |Imp | |
| |Massage my back, legs, or feet | | |
| |Tell me you love me | | |
| |Tell me you want to make love | | |
| |Tell me you like making love with me | | |
| |Touch me playfully and fondly in intimate places | | |
| |Ask if I want anything from the store | | |
| |Ask if you can pick up something for me on your way home | | |
| |Give me a card | | |
| |Flowers | | |
| |Little presents | | |
| |Call me from work to say “I love you” | | |
| |Lean against me when we are watching tv | | |
| |Compliment me on the way I look | | |
| |Just listen to me when I ask that is all you do | | |
| |Kiss me for 10 seconds or more as you leave me and as you return and when we get up or go to bed | | |
| |Write me a love letter once in a while | | |
| |Propose a day trip for us to go on | | |
| |Hold my hand wherever we go | | |
| |Buy me a massage | | |
| |Read a relationship book aloud with me, discuss it | | |
| |Take a loving shower with me | | |
| |Take a shower with me and wash and dry me | | |
| |Take a bath with me | | |
| |Make out in the back seat of the car | | |
| |Oral sex | | |
| |Eating dinner together and talking | | |
| |Take a walk together | | |
| |Cook me a good dinner | | |
| |Have a Loving Day[2] (or ½ day) | | |
| |Shave on a day off, for me | | |
| |Do a “I’ll tell you what feels good” session that is exclusively focused on me. | | |
| |Have me do do a “I’ll tell you what feels good” session for you. | | |
| |Do a touching making love without intercourse. | | |
| |Try something new in love making | | |
| |Go to a marriage counselor | | |
| |Read a relationship book for us. Discuss it. | | |
| |Do exercises in a relationship book together. | | |
| |Take a relationship workshop every ________ | | |
| |Take me to a movie | | |
| |Take me for a drive in the country or somewhere fun | | |
| |Touch me softly on the face | | |
| |Kiss my eyelids gently and lovingly | | |
| |Tell me something that you want. | | |
| |Take me out to “coffee”. | | |
| |Go mall shopping with me. | | |
| |Undress me, slowly and lovingly | | |
| |Give me a compliment about some quality of mine | | |
| |Take me out to dinner | | |
| |Take me to church | | |
| |Go with me and sit in the bookstore with me | | |
| |Watch funny movies together | | |
| |Tell me you love me the way I am. | | |
| |Do a household duty that is not yours. | | |
| |Clean up after yourself | | |
| |Clean the garage together | | |
| |Do some task together that is for both of us, or the house, or whatever. | | |
| |Sit down with me to discuss the finances | | |
| |Go through the activities list and decide what we both can do together[3] | | |
| |Go to a community event with me | | |
| |Take an overnight trip with me, you originate idea | | |
| |Talk about our day, listen to me and ask questions | | |
| |Write a little note to me, on anything | | |
| |Take a big trip with me twice a year. | | |
| |Have lunch together, out. | | |
| |Go dancing, have a romantic evening | | |
| |Do a “repair” communication where you think it would be helpful to me | | |
| |Do a “Couple’s Council” with me every week. | | |
| |Plan the week, month, year with me. | | |
| |Make a special meal for me. | | |
| |Buy me an inspirational or fun book. | | |
| |Holding each other in bed for at least a few minutes | | |
| |Sleeping with your head on my shoulder for a while | | |
| |Stroking and touching me even when we aren’t going to go any further | | |
| |Make breakfast for me. | | |
| |Bring me a glass of juice when I am still in bed. | | |
| |Make out with me. | | |
| |Stroking my stomach | | |
| |Do a 20 minute “dialog” with me. | | |
| |Request, in a loving supportive way, a behavior change you’d like me to do | | |
| |Do an exercise with me from a relationship book. | | |
| |Share with me something you are reading that is interesting or meaningful to you. Let me do the same. | | |
| |Talk about your dreams for life. | | |
| |Talk about your frustrations and fears with me and hold me as your loving ally. | | |
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[1] , Relationships, Loving
[2] Exclusively devoted to being loving and romantic and open and caring.
[3] See the printable list on , questionnaires.
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