Reasons for Friendship Initiation



Citation for this research instrument: Bleske-Rechek, A. L., & Buss, D. M. (2001). Opposite-sex friendship: Sex differences and similarities in initiation, selection, and dissolution. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 1310-1323.

Reasons for Dissolving a Friendship

(seven point scale, Not at all important to Somewhat important to Very important)

1. He was not trustworthy.

2. He cancelled plans with me repetitively.

3. He did not show enough concern for me in time of need.

4. He kept secrets from me.

5. I wasn’t physically attracted to him.

6. He failed to physically protect me when I was in danger.

7. He talked about me behind my back.

8. I found other friends.

9. He was selfish.

10. He started paying attention to other women.

11. I became jealous of him.

12. My romantic relationship interfered with our friendship.

13. We started dating.

14. We competed over sports.

15. He wanted a romantic relationship and I did not.

16. We had no common interests.

17. He tried to control me.

18. He smoked too much dope.

19. He pressed me to have sex with him.

20. He spent more time with his romantic partner than with me.

21. He was emotionally unstable.

22. He was jealous of the other men in my life.

23. He made mean remarks about me.

24. He hurt my feelings.

25. He was jealous of my athletic ability.

26. I fell out of love with him.

27. He became sexually attracted to me and I wasn’t attracted to him.

28. We had different religious beliefs.

29. We had sex.

30. My romantic partner did not like me being friends with him.

31. We had a hard time communicating.

32. He became jealous of me.

33. He was not intelligent enough for me.

34. We never went out and did stuff together.

35. He lost sexual interest in me.

36. We did hot have similar values.

37. He had friendships with other women.

38. He wanted to start dating and I did not.

39. We competed over academics.

40. I was jealous of his success at school/work.

41. He didn’t want to have sex with me.

42. He made hurtful jokes about me.

43. Our personalities were nothing alike.

44. Our friendship was long distance.

45. I lost my sexual attraction to him.

46. He didn’t respect me.

47. I became romantically involved with a man.

48. I started having romantic feelings for him and he didn’t have those feelings for me.

49. He spent all his time with his new romantic partner.

50. He didn’t express his feelings to me.

51. His romantic partner did not approve of our friendship.

52. He started having romantic feelings for me and I didn’t have those feelings

for him.

53. We had opposite points of view on important issues.

54. He talked to others about his problems instead of coming to me.

55. He didn’t get along with my family.

56. He wanted more than a friendship between us.

57. He drank too much.

58. I didn’t trust him.

59. He tried to turn others against me.

60. I was jealous of other women in his life.

61. We bickered constantly.

62. We lived in separate cities.

63. I wanted to spend more time with my other friends besides him.

64. He annoyed me.

65. He wanted to spend a lot of time with me.

66. I lost my physical attraction to him.

67. He was romantically interested in another woman.

68. We kissed and I didn’t want that to happen.

69. He chose his romantic partner over me.

70. He made me feel worthless.

71. He was jealous of my romantic partner.

72. Our friendship was boring.

73. He wanted sex more than I did.

74. We didn’t communicate well.

75. He wasn’t always there for me.

76. Hew told other people about our private conversations.

77. He lowered my self-esteem.

78. He started rumors about me.

79. Other men became more attractive than him.

80. I became sexually attracted to him and he wasn’t sexually attracted to me.

81. He didn’t listen to me when I needed him to.

82. He was jealous of my success at school/work.

83. He tried to be more than friends and I didn’t want that.

84. We argued.

85. He was verbally abusive to me.

86. He failed to provide intellectual stimulations.

87. We didn’t spend enough time together.

88. There wasn’t enough sex in our relationship.

89. We spent a lot of time together.

90. I fell in love with another man.

91. He made me feel bad about myself.

92. Another man came along and I became romantically interested in him.

93. He found other friends.

94. He got angry too often.

95. He lied to me.

96. I didn’t feel physically safe when I was with him.

97. I was jealous of his athletic ability.

98. Our friendship interfered with my other friendships.

99. He was not sensitive to my feelings.

100. We had different political views.

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