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WEDDING RINGER| Trailer Testing TranscriptionTrailer Test #4 (9.8.14) [MarketCast]Extreme v10 (vs. v4) “Babe, I know you’ve been really busy, but our wedding is in 10 days. You told me you spoke to all the groomsmen.”“Uh…see, I sent them an e-mail, but you know how guys are—they just haven’t responded yet.” DOUG NEEDS A LITTLE HELP “A guy like me doesn’t land a girl like her—so I lied about having a bunch of friends. I don’t know what to do.”“There is one other thing.”[Cue: “Come Get It Babe”]BUT HE JUST FOUND HIS RINGER“Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”[Hart performing various best man services: giving speech, dressed as priest][Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7?”“I do.”“Do you have any idea what you’re asking for? You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. What you’re talking about is what we joke about around here. Too many things can go wrong—no.”“She will leave me, I need your help!”“You need to understand that this is strictly a business relationship.”[Gad tries to hug Hart]“Thank, thank you!”[Hart pushes Gad away] “Yo, what’chu doin’?!”“Sorry I just, I got really excited.”“Damn it, man.”“Right.”“I’m assuming you made up a name for me.”“Bic Mitchum.”“Do I wear a cape, Bic Mitchum? Let’s get to work.”THIS JANUARY“Alright, let’s go over some basics. What do I do?”“You’re in the military.”“Atta boy, chicks dig the uniform.”“Well, you’re in the military, but you’re a chaplain.”“You told them I’m a priest, Doug.”“Well, actually it was—”“A priest?!”“You want to start off with the ‘how,’ ‘where,’ ‘whats.’ Where am I from?”“I never said.”“North Dakota.”“Why North Dakota?”“Do you know anybody in North Dakota?”“No.”“Nobody does.”TO KEEP THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS“It is my job to make you look good on your wedding day. You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer.”“You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me—I took her dancing.”[Montage: Hart and Gad dancing hip-hop/ballet, Gad slaps Hart] (109 Liked, 14 Disliked) (105 AA Liked, 14 Disliked) ONE GUY “Hey, look who I got with me! You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists. God, I should just call it off.” IS GOING TO EXTREMES[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]“God created the world in 7 days—we gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time. Let’s go make some history!”[Montage: Gad and groomsmen staging various photo ops] “We’ll never forget climbing the glaciers in Patagonia.”“Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet.”“After I was hit by a drunk driver, Doug helped me pay for my law school tuition.” [Cries] “When’s the bachelor party?”“No, no, there’s gonna be no bachelor party.”[Hart laughing] “Doug Harris, right?”[Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] (87 Liked, 10 Disliked) (80 AA Liked, 13 Disliked) [Guys pull off Gad’s mask to reveal bachelor party—party montage]“What are you feeding him?”“What are you talking about?”“He wasn’t like that until you showed up.”“That’s the Doug that I know.”[Party asleep in hospital lobby, Hart rings air horn]“Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”“It feels really good to have somebody looking out for me.”“What is going on with you?”“I, uh…I, umm…I’ve gotta be honest with you guys. I, uh…”[Hart pours hot pot of stew onto Gad’s lap, Gad screams, sets grandma on fire][Table rushes to put out fire]“It’s making it worse!” THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “Hey Grandm…what the—?!”“Grandma made a full recovery, doesn’t she look great?”“That’s somethin’ else to look at there.”COMING SOONDomestic Trailer 1 [Phone rings] “Hello?”“Seth, it’s Doug Harris. I was wondering if you would wanna be my best man.”[Seth hangs up][Phone rings again] “You’re the first person I thought of.”“I head you died.”“Eduardo! ?Cómo está?” [Lost signal]DOUG NEEDS A BEST MAN IN THE WORST WAY“I don’t know what to do. I told her that I have a best man lined up.”“The truth is always the best.”“What if the truth isn’t an option?”“There is one other thing.” “Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”[Cue: “The Big Bang”]JIMMY IS THE BEST FRIEND MONEY CAN BUY[Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“So, Edmundo sent you to come find the oracle.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”“So I’m not alone?”“Alone? No, I run a very proper business because of guys like you. How many weddings do you think were in the U.S. last year? 2.4 million. There were 2.4 million grooms. Do you think that each one of them has someone to be their best man?”“I never knew people like you existed.” “How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7—7 groomsmen?”“I do.”“You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. Too many things can go wrong—no.”“But there’s a name for it!”“There’s also a name for a horse with a horn on its head—it’s called a unicorn, don’t mean I can get you one.”“I need your help!”“This is strictly a business relationship. You’re not buying a new friend, you’re hiring a best man.”[Gad tries to hug Hart]“Thank, thank you!”[Hart pushes Gad away] “Yo, what’chu doin’, yo, what’chu doin’?!”“Sorry I just, I got really excited.”“Damn it, man. White people!”THIS JANUARY“Hey, look who I got with me! You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists.” (75 Liked, 8 Disliked) (73 AA Liked, 12 Disliked)[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]Cast montage: KEVIN HART, JOSH GAD, KALEY CUOCO-SWEETING [Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] (74 Liked, 11 Disliked) (82 AA Liked, 8 Disliked) BUT SOMETIMES WHEN YOU BUY A FRIEND[Gad runs across street with bag over head, trips over curb]THERE’S A PRICE TO BE PAID[Montage: football, party, police chase]“What is going on with you?”“I, uh…I, umm…I’ve gotta be honest with you guys. I, uh…”[Hart pours hot pot of stew onto Gad’s lap, Gad screams, sets grandma on fire][Table rushes to put out fire] “Oh my god!” (171 Liked, 40 Disliked) (197 AA Liked, 44 Disliked)THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “Hey Grandm…what the—?!”“Grandma made a full recovery, doesn’t she look great?”[Guys nod] “Yeah.”JANUARY 2015Trailer Test #3 (9.1.14)Extreme v10 (vs. v4)“Babe, I know you’ve been really busy, but our wedding is in 10 days. You told me you spoke to all the groomsmen.”“Uh…see, I sent them an e-mail, but you know how guys are—they just haven’t responded yet.” DOUG NEEDS A LITTLE HELP “A guy like me doesn’t land a girl like her—so I lied about having a bunch of friends. I don’t know what to do.”“There is one other thing.”[Cue: “Come Get It Babe”]BUT HE JUST FOUND HIS RINGER“Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”[Hart performing various best man services: giving speech, dressed as priest][Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7?”“I do.”“Do you have any idea what you’re asking for? You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. What you’re talking about is what we joke about around here. Too many things can go wrong—no.”“She will leave me, I need your help!”“You need to understand that this is strictly a business relationship.”[Gad tries to hug Hart]“Thank, thank you!”[Hart pushes Gad away] “Yo, what’chu doin’?!”“Sorry I just, I got really excited.”“Damn it, man.”“Right.”“I’m assuming you made up a name for me.”“Bic Mitchum.”“Do I wear a cape, Bic Mitchum? Let’s get to work.”THIS JANUARY“Alright, let’s go over some basics. What do I do?”“You’re in the military.”“Atta boy, chicks dig the uniform.”“Well, you’re in the military, but you’re a chaplain.”“You told them I’m a priest, Doug.”“Well, actually it was—”“A priest?!”“You want to start off with the ‘how,’ ‘where,’ ‘whats.’ Where am I from?”“I never said.”“North Dakota.”“Why North Dakota?”“Do you know anybody in North Dakota?”“No.”“Nobody does.”TO KEEP THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS“It is my job to make you look good on your wedding day. You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer.”“You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me—I took her dancing.”[Montage: Hart and Gad dancing hip-hop/ballet, Gad slaps Hart] (109 Liked, 10 Disliked) (118 AA Liked, 10 Disliked)ONE GUY “Hey, look who I got with me! You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists. God, I should just call it off.” (62 Liked, 9 Disliked) (67 AA Liked, 8 Disliked)IS GOING TO EXTREMES[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]“God created the world in 7 days—we gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time. Let’s go make some history!”[Montage: Gad and groomsmen staging various photo ops] “We’ll never forget climbing the glaciers in Patagonia.”“Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet.”“After I was hit by a drunk driver, Doug helped me pay for my law school tuition.” [Cries] “When’s the bachelor party?”“No, no, there’s gonna be no bachelor party.”[Hart laughing] “Doug Harris, right?”[Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] (60 Liked, 10 Disliked) (47 AA Liked, 8 Disliked) [Guys pull off Gad’s mask to reveal bachelor party—party montage]“What are you feeding him?”“What are you talking about?”“He wasn’t like that until you showed up.”“That’s the Doug that I know.”[Party asleep in hospital lobby, Hart rings air horn]“Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”“It feels really good to have somebody looking out for me.”“What is going on with you?”“I, uh…I, umm…I’ve gotta be honest with you guys. I, uh…”[Hart pours hot pot of stew onto Gad’s lap, Gad screams, sets grandma on fire][Table rushes to put out fire]“It’s making it worse!” (155 Liked, 27 Disliked) (178 AA Liked, 17 Disliked)THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “Hey Grandm…what the—?!”“Grandma made a full recovery, doesn’t she look great?”“That’s somethin’ else to look at there.”COMING SOONTrailer Test #2 (8.25.14)Extreme v4“Babe, I know you’ve been really busy, but our wedding is in 10 days. You told me you spoke to all the groomsmen.”“Uh…see, I sent them an e-mail.” DOUG NEEDS A LITTLE HELP “A guy like me doesn’t land a girl like her—so I lied about having a bunch of friends. I don’t know what to do.”“There is one other thing.”[Cue: “Come Get It Babe”]BUT HE JUST FOUND HIS RINGER“Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”[Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7?”“I do.”“Do you have any idea what you’re asking for? You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. What you’re talking about is what we joke about around here. Too many things can go wrong—no.”“She will leave me, I need your help!”“You need to understand that this is strictly a business relationship.”“Right.”“I’m assuming you made up a name for me.”“Bic Mitchum.”“Do I wear a cape, Bic Mitchum? Let’s get to work.”THIS JANUARY“You want to start off with the ‘how,’ ‘where,’ ‘whats.’ Where am I from?”“I never said.”“North Dakota.”“Why North Dakota?”“Do you know anybody in North Dakota?”“No.”“Nobody does.”TO KEEP THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS“It is my job to make you look good on your wedding day. You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer.”“You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me—I took her dancing.”[Montage: Hart and Gad dancing hip-hop/ballet, Gad slaps Hart] (117 Liked, 8 Disliked) (131 AA Liked, 11 Disliked)ONE GUY “Hey, look who I got with me! You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists. Oh, God, I should just call it off.” (62 Liked, 12 Disliked) (64 AA Liked, 6 Disliked)IS GOING TO EXTREMES[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]“God created the world in 7 days—we gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time. Let’s go make some history!”[Montage: Gad and groomsmen staging various photo ops] (48 Liked, 6 Disliked) (62 AA Liked, 3 Disliked)“Climbing the glaciers in Patagonia.”“Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet.”“After I was hit by a drunk driver, Doug helped me pay for my law school tuition.” [Cries] “When’s the bachelor party?”“Oh, no, there’s gonna be no bachelor party.”[Hart laughing] “Doug Harris, right?”[Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] (78 Liked, 12 Disliked) (61 AA Liked, 17 Disliked) [Guys pull off Gad’s mask to reveal bachelor party—party montage]“What are you feeding him?”“What are you talking about?”“He wasn’t like that until you showed up.”“That’s the Doug that I know.”[Party asleep in hospital lobby, Hart rings air horn]“Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”“What is going on with you?”“I, uh…I, umm…I’ve gotta be honest with you guys. I, uh…”[Hart pours hot pot of stew onto Gad’s lap, Gad screams, sets grandma on fire][Table rushes to put out fire]“It’s making it worse!” (166 Liked, 26 Disliked) (168 AA Liked, 32 Disliked)THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “Hey Grandm…what the—?!”“Grandma made a full recovery, doesn’t she look great?”“That’s somethin’ else to look at there.”COMING SOONMillion Ways v19 (Red Band) (vs. v14)“Babe, I know you’ve been really busy, but our wedding is in 10 days. You told me you spoke to all the groomsmen.”“Uh…see, I sent them an e-mail.” [Phone rings]“Seth, it’s Doug Harris. I was wondering if you would wanna be my best man.”[Seth hangs up]DOUG NEEDS A LITTLE HELP“A guy like me doesn’t land a girl like her—so I lied about having a bunch of friends. I haven’t slept in months, I keep losing weight. I don’t know what to do.”“There is one other thing.”[Cue: “Come Get It Babe”]BUT HE JUST FOUND HIS RINGER “Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”[Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7?”“I do.”“Do you have any idea what you’re asking for? You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. What you’re talking about is what we joke about around here.” Too many things can go wrong—no.”THIS JANUARY“She will leave me, I need your help!”“You need to understand that this is strictly a business relationship.”“Right.”“I’m assuming you made up a name for me.”“Bic Mitchum.”“Do I wear a fucking cape, Bic Mitchum? Ayy ladies, what’s going on, my name is Bic and I got the dick. Let’s get to work.”THIS JANUARYONE FAKE FRIEND“Alright, let’s go over some basics. What do I do?”“You’re in the military.”“Atta boy. Chicks dig the uniform.” It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.”“Actually I don’t think you’ll be shooting any fish in this particular barrel. “Well, Bic Mitchum is actually Father Bic Mitchum.”“You told them I’m a fucking priest?”“At the time I thought it was a really smart idea.”“Fuck! Fuck, shit, bitch, dick, ass.”“Don’t…you can’t…”“Well I got to get them all out now because I’m a fucking priest and I can’t cuss around your family, Doug…Fuck!” “Ahh, come on.”“That’s the last one.”TO KEEP THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS“It is my job to make you look good on your wedding day. You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer.”“You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me—I took her dancing.”[Montage: Hart and Gad dancing hip-hop/ballet, Gad slaps Hart] (76 Liked, 9 Disliked) (108 AA Liked, 9 Disliked)ONE GUYSEVEN PRETEND GROOMSMEN“Hey, look who I got with me!”“Who are these people?”“You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists. The Asian has his dick out. Is that a third testicle? Oh, God, I should just call it off.” (59 Liked, 16 Disliked) (67 AA Liked, 12 Disliked)IS GOING TO EXTREMES[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]A MILLION WAYS“We’ve got one week to pull off the impossible.” first ever Golden Tux.”“Who the hell are those guys?”“Those are my friends!”“That’s the strangest looking group of guys I’ve ever seen.”[Asian show 3rd testicle to group of old men]“Boom! 3 balls, count ‘em.”[Hart shaking head] “Uh, uh, uh.”TO BLOW IT“When’s the bachelor party?”“Oh, no, there’s gonna be no bachelor party.”[Hart laughing][Party montage]“Doug Harris, right?”[Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] “Oh god, please don’t rape me!”[Guys pull off Gad’s mask to reveal bachelor party—party montage]“What are you feeding him?”“What are you talking about?”“He wasn’t like that until you showed up.”“That’s the Doug that I know.”[Woman licks peanut butter off Gad’s face, dog walks in and begins licking Gad]“Fletcher, Fletcher, Fletcher!”[Gad, blindfolded] “Oh God, it feels so good—so scruffy and wet! I love my fiancé, I love my fiancé.” “Hey, how’s that feel?” [Hart removes blindfold, Gad sees dog]“Oh God, no! Okay!”[Crowd cheers] “You gettin’ that doggy head!”[Dog bites, Gad screams]“Fletcher, no!”“When you pull it hurts more!” (111 Liked, 36 Disliked) (141 AA Liked, 34 Disliked)KEVIN HARTJOSH GADKALEY CUOCO-SWEETING“I want you to spend some time with my dad.”“Do you play football, Doug? Why don’t we have a friendly game of touch.”“Hey fat-ass, we’re gonna do your sister!”“I don’t have a sister!”[Old men taunt Doug] “Ass!”“Wait, what?”[Old men take down Doug and team, man falls in wheel chair] “They’re so mean!”“This is Sean John, bitch!”“What the fuck, I’m in a wheelchair!” THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “What if they start asking too many questions?”“If somebody asks you something that boxes you in, throw out random words that will distract them from the original question.”“When was the last time that you and Bic saw each other?”“March.”“March?”“Wait a minute. April I was in the Middle East, (muffin juice). After that is when I was training (cottage cheese on me).”“Oh boy, that’s right—you left in March, red hot pussy seltzer.”“What did you just say?”“Hmm?”“I think you said red hot pussy seltzer.” (114 Liked, 19 Disliked) (136 AA Liked, 16 Disliked)COMING SOON Trailer Test #1 (8.18.14)Million Ways v14 (Red Band)[Phone rings]“Seth, it’s Doug Harris. I was wondering if you would wanna be my best man.”[Seth hangs up]DOUG NEEDS A LITTLE HELP“A guy like me doesn’t land a girl like her—so I lied about having a bunch of friends. I haven’t slept in months, I keep losing weight. I don’t know what to do.”“There is one other thing.”[Cue: “Come Get It Babe”]BUT HE JUST FOUND HIS RINGER “Welcome to the Best Man, Inc.”“What exactly do you do?”“I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.”[Montage: photo wall, Hart in various best man costumes]“How are you lookin’ on groomsmen?”“I need 7.”“You need 7?”“I do.”“Do you have any idea what you’re asking for? You’re asking me to pull off a Golden Tux. What you’re talking about is what we joke about around here. Too many things can go wrong—no.”THIS JANUARY“She will leave me, I need your help!”“You need to understand that this is strictly a business relationship.”“Right.”“I’m assuming you made up a name for me.”“Bic Mitchum.”“Do I wear a fucking cape, Bic Mitchum? Ayy ladies, what’s going on, my name is Bic and I got the dick. Let’s get to work.”ONE FAKE FRIEND“Alright, let’s go over some basics. What do I do?”“You’re in the military.”“Atta boy. Chicks dig the uniform. It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.”“Actually I don’t think you’ll be shooting any fish in this particular barrel. Bic Mitchum is actually Father Bic Mitchum.”“You told them I’m a fucking priest?”“At the time I thought it was a really smart idea.”“Fuck! Fuck, shit, bitch, dick, ass.”“Don’t…you can’t…”“Well I got to get them all out now because I’m a fucking priest and I can’t cuss around your family, Doug…Fuck!” (67 Liked, 14 Disliked) (98 AA Liked, 6 Disliked)“Ahh, come on.”“That’s the last one.”SEVEN PRETEND GROOMSMEN“Hey, look who I got with me!”“Who are these people?”“You’re lookin’ at your groomsmen!”“These guys cannot be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists. The Asian has his dick out. Is that a third testicle? Ooh, I’m dead, I should just call it off.” (64 Liked, 10 Disliked) (71 AA Liked, 7 Disliked)[Cue: “I Wanna Go Crazy”]A MILLION WAYS“We’ve got one week to pull off the first ever Golden Tux.”“Who the hell are those guys?”“Those are my friends!”“That’s the strangest looking group of guys I’ve ever seen.”[Asian show 3rd testicle to group of old men]“Boom!”[Hart shaking head] “Uh, uh, uh.”TO BLOW IT“When’s the bachelor party?”“Oh, no, no, no, there’s gonna be no bachelor party.”[Hart laughing]“Doug Harris, right?”[Masked men kidnap Gad, put bag over his head]“Wait, I’m not strapped in!” [Gad falls out of truck bed] (65 Liked, 8 Disliked) (57 AA Liked, 5 Disliked)“Oh god, please don’t rape me!”[Guys pull off Gad’s mask to reveal bachelor party—party montage]KEVIN HARTJOSH GADKALEY CUOCO-SWEETING“I want you to spend some time with my dad.”“Do you play football, Doug? Why don’t we have a friendly game of touch.”“Hey fat-ass, we’re gonna do your sister!”“I don’t have a sister!”[Old men taunt Doug] “Ass!”“Wait, what?”[Old men take down Doug and team, man falls in wheel chair] “They’re so mean!”“This is Sean John, bitch!”“What the fuck, I’m in a wheelchair!” (73 Liked, 23 Disliked) (80 AA Liked, 18 Disliked)THE WEDDING RINGERButton: “What if they start asking too many questions?”“If somebody asks you something that boxes you in, throw out random words that will distract them from the original question.”“So, Doug, when was the last time that you and Bic saw each other?”“March.”“March?”“Well, wait a minute. April I was in the Middle East, (muffin juice). After that is when I was training (cottage cheese on me).”“Oh boy, that’s right—because you left in March, red hot pussy seltzer.”“What did you just say?”“Hmm?”“I think you said red hot pussy seltzer.” (121 Liked, 18 Disliked) (149 AA Liked, 5 Disliked)COMING SOON ................
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