Trash



One of these events is foiled by the sudden appearance of a hot-air balloon.? In "She of Little Faith," two men who were chanting "who loves short shorts" announce that they will be preventing this kind of event. A montage of these events is set to themes from The Nutcracker, two seasons after one of these events involves singing (-) "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" near City Hall. An out-of-season version of these events prompts the purchase of a new suit and a brief flirtation with venture capitalists in (*)"Whiskey Business." Perhaps the most bleakly comic example of these events occurred in "Grift of the Magi," and involved the orchestrator of these events taping a note to his back which read "No Funeral." For 10 points, identify these events which comprise a running joke in Simpsons Christmas episodes, and involve a bartender doing things like jumping off a building or sticking his head in the oven.ANSWER: _Moe_'s Christmas _suicide attempts_The Fun Lovin’ Criminals started a beef by not mentioning long-snapper Carson Tinker or holder Bryan Anger in their song about these items. These items are shipped to EverBank Field from the Coolsville factory where they are manufactured. That factory was threatened by a Cheese Monster who was unmasked as (*) Ken Whisenhunt. After being offered some of these items by Shaggy, their namesake tied the NFL record for number of 50 yard field goals in a game. For 10 points, name these treats used to incentivize the Jacksonville Jaguars kicker.ANSWER: Josh Scobee SnacksThis person once threw a note out the window of a car that read "great job" after using opera glasses. Even though his name is not Donald Custer, he uses the email address "doctor.donald.custer@" to receive GoPro videos of wonton soup being drunk from a styrofoam cup in the worst part of town. This person claims that he will only pay taxes that are "pried out of his cold dead hands" and lives on a houseboat because of "water laws." Only one eye and a laughing mouth of this person are visible when he watches a girl stand on top of a cage eating a lobster roll, and he also enjoys making people (*) stand behind empty portrait frames while he eats Caesar salad and making a girl eat fully loaded beef nachos while sitting on a fountain. For 10 points, name this never-seen character who is "older" and “crazy” and dates the Cecily Strong-played character on the "Girlfriends Talk Show" SNL skit.ANSWER: _Kyra's boyfriend_ [or the _boyfriend_ of Cecily _Strong_'s character before it is read]One person described this publication’s website as like “the homepage of a multi-level nightclub or an old Myspace profile,” since it featured autoplayed music starting and stopping when links were clicked. This site, which is run by executive editor Amy DuBois Barnett, recently hired a (*) Washington Post columnist who defended himself from Twitter criticism by aligning himself with Maya Angelou and repeatedly mentioning that he ghostwrote Shaq’s autobiography. This employer of Mike Wise was roundly attacked in a profile of its founder by Deadspin’s Greg Howard. For 10 points, name this nascent ESPN subsidiary created by Jason Whitlock which plans to imitate the Bill Simmons site for which it has been nicknamed.ANSWER: Black GrantlandAfter coming home from the woods, a boy in this novel strips off his clothes to find a bite mark from a deer in his shoulder, later discovering that his twin sister dreamed she was a deer. A recurring joke in this novel is for the main characters to communicate in secret with foreign languages, but only use rudimentary workbook sentences like “The boy is full of the wine, which is a shame to the parent.” This novel ends with the narrator dreaming of meeting his dead friend is in a Purgatory-like antechamber with a projector that displays Chartres Cathedral and the Pantheon. This novel is set at a fictional (+) drug-filled college where students snort cocaine off of a communal mirror owned by Laura Stora; the culture of that college is based on the author’s experiences going to school with?Bret Easton Ellis. The narrator of this novel pretends that his family owns an oil well rather than tell his wealthy friends Francis and Charles about his actual childhood in Plano. In this novel, Henry Winter and four other students at Hampden College, who only take classes from the Classics professor Julian Morrow, conspire to murder their friend Bunny to protect the secret of the bacchanal they held. For 10 points, name this Donna Tartt novel titled after the most famous work of Procopius.ANSWER:?The?Secret HistoryIn an Asimov story, a time traveler tries to get rich off of this man by travelling back to 1776. In Fallout 3, an animatronic robot believes itself to be this man and the player must convince it that it is Thomas Jefferson instead. The creation of a magnet school named for him caused JR Barry to incessantly whine about the existence of magnet schools. He is also the namesake of the Triple A affiliate that cruelly stole the (*) Richmond Braves from Richmond. An inveterate debtor, this man’s IOUs represent most of his extant 51 signatures. For 10 points, name this namesake of an Atlanta suburb maybe best known for signing the Declaration of Independence and having an absurdly valuable autograph.ANSWER: Button GwinnettDick Ebersol learned about this person after bidding $50,000 at the Martha’s Vineyard Possible Dreams charity auction. One theory about this person was rejected because a whispered word turned out to be “Ovid,” not “David.” Daniel Kent Armstrong is a plausible candidate to be this person because his name contains the letters A, E, and R. Official sources have claimed that this person is a (+) composite of three real people who probably include?David?(*) Geffen and Warren Beatty. The most relevant clues to this person’s identity are that he wore Nick Nolte’s apricot scarf and used a Learjet to see a 1970 eclipse in Nova Scotia. For 10 points, name this self-absorbed lover who probably thinks Carly Simon’s most famous song is about him.ANSWER: the?addressee?of?“You’re So Vain”One commenter claimed that this phrase was the title of its coiner’s dream journal entry “about the one where he occupies the center square between Bruce Vilanch and Charles Nelson Reilly.” This phrase was printed all over the backdrop used for pictures at Gabrielle Union’s 2014 wedding. This three word phrase, which was coined after its coiner’s team was eliminated in (*) game 5 of a 2011 playoff series, was followed by the qualifier “they’re still very good.” For 10 points, name this phrase used by Bulls center Joachim Noah to describe the 2011 Miami Heat.ANSWER: Hollywood as HellMonte Maxwell's recordings on this instrument helped revive interest in it. Frederik S. Oliver's?A Dweller on Two Planets?inspired a concept album featuring the first original music for this instrument, which was created and recorded by Pepe Deluxé. This instrument was actually constructed by Loyd Almarode and Richard Beaver while working for a Waynesboro company founded by the unfortunately-named August Klann. This instrument's sound is produced by solenoid-actuated rubber-tipped plungers that are strung back to a central location, giving it an unsurpassed acoustic layout. An apocryphal origin story of this instrument is that is was conceived when Leland W. Sprinkle's son hit his head on a (*) cave formation and produced a remarkable tone. This four-manual instrument covers about 3.5 acres, making it the actual largest instrument in the world. For 15 points, name this punny instrument located in Luray Caverns.ANSWER: The?Great Stalacpipe OrganPETA threw a fit after a halftime show in which this team’s mascot paraded around the court with two tiger cubs and proceeded to give away kittens to any fan who wanted one. Most of the bad luck faced by the Oklahoma City Thunder is due to Quesogate, an incident in which Russell Westbrook goaltended a shot attempt by this team’s mascot that would have won fans free Qdoba. Other scandals involving this team’s mascot include it attending an unauthorized (*) GOP rally, going unconscious while being lowered from the ceiling in a harness, and being kicked in the face by Dwight Howard a few days ago. For 10 points, name this team which has an unlucky mountain lion named Rocky.ANSWER: Denver NuggetsThis band did a notable acoustic set during a show that also featured Eagle-Eye Cherry and a "scrambled Easter egg hunt." At another show featuring this band, three Hispanic prostitutes named Nina, Pinta, and Scuzzy Beth were working the crowd, and this band did an a capella performance following Yo Gabba Gabba and Crucifying Kudrow. At a different appearance by this band, audience members had the opportunity to have sex with the Iron Sheik and saw this band just after (*) DJ Deuce Groan and before the Worst He-Man Impression Contest. This band often performs at memorial tributes to Ass Dan. For 10 points, name this only band which has performed at every Kickspit Underground Rock Festival.ANSWER: _Mrs. Potato Dick_In the graphic novel in which these originally appear, there are 1001 of them. One of these is a sushi restaurant that is only open twice a year because it is supplied by a neighboring aquarium. In another of these places, a brutal fight is paused for ten seconds so the combatants can count down the (*) New Year. Another of these places is a classroom where Allison Pill leads her students in song with the lyrics “What happens if the engine stops? We all freeze and die.” For 10 points, name these rooms in a perpetually moving vehicle that travels through a frozen post-apocalyptic in a 2013 South Korean action film.ANSWER: cars in the Snowpiercer trainIn this play, a guitar strum sounds when a character enters through the window to complain that he has bladder problems due to not being allowed to use the bathroom as a child. The title character's architect father in this play is frequently tinkering with impractical household inventions such as a Philomena Rostovich detector. In this play, the title character gives a cookie to a boy every time he correctly recites the Thomas Tupper High school song or the (*) Ten Commandments. This play is about a Christmas pageant being staged for a teacher obsessed with sin and the syllable "nana." For 10 points, name this play by Christopher Durang in which nun Melissa Joan Hart is oblivious to the damage that she did to former students such as Ferguson.ANSWER: (Sister) _Clarissa Explains It All For You_Marco Bohr wrote an essay analyzing the images in this series, which include a picture of a gigantic open crate of bubblegum. In a particularly amusing image from this series, their subject confusedly picks up a giant radish from a pile of vegetables and holds it horizontally. Other subjects for images in this series include a (+) stalk of corn, a giant metal tube, preserved apples, and a fish in a bowl. Lisbon-based artist Joao Rocha first disseminated this series of images to the (*)?West in order to “deconstruct…the ridiculousness” of the?juche?propaganda apparatus. For 10 points, name this series of images released by the North Korean government, ostensibly to glorify its now-dead supreme leader.ANSWER:?Kim Jong Il Looking At ThingsThe owner of this place attributes the quality of its product to the fact that only walnuts can be eaten here. One article tied the 2006 legalization of US importation of this place’s product to its owner successfully taking the starting role after TJ Ford’s injury. Over the last six years, this place, which produces a product called (*) pata negra, has been mentioned in media guides for the Raptors, Pistons, Mavericks, and Knicks. For 10 points, name this jamon iberico producing company owned by a sharp-shooting but defensively challenged Spanish point guard.ANSWER: Jose Calderon’s ham farmThis man has addressed a Keurig forum to propose the lifehack of replacing coffee with a "euphoria for the tongue" known as Mountain Dew, and noted that you can just "browse dank memes" from a wheelchair instead of getting a job. This man frequently includes parentheses in his signature to create the mysterious word "Gleman." This man makes a crude joke about how he will "make your face white" in a poem addressed to "a colored m'lady," though he is more often seen flirting with Berta Lovejoy and promoting his (*) atheism message board. For 10 points, name this fictitious, fedora-clad moderator who trolls Youtube as a parody of Reddit users.ANSWER: _Doritan Cheeto_In early versions of this game, the player could drop Subway cars on five nerdy scientists. Other abandoned elements of this game include a 400 foot tall man and 20 foot tall pigeons. The developer of this game, who also created a variant of DRUGWAR for the TI83, experimented with using a large tire, a crate, a crate which is on fire, and a guy as a central object. Other aspects of this game include using a dune buggy to literally (*) drive to a basket with its deadly metal ball. For 10 points, name this game created in Garry’s Mod as an alternative to NBA 2K14 by its namesake SBnation writer.ANSWER: Jon’s Basketball GameIn an early profile, Gwen Dallas claimed that this player was going to “eat thunder and crap lightning.” In an interview, he compared his sport to competitive excel formatting. This player, whose walkup music is Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer,” lost an early friendly to a competitor in a Muppet costume. In announcing his retirement, he noted “I feel there are no new heights to reach, but still plenty of potential new depths to plunge to.” He controversially declared “That's why I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker” after a playoff upset. This player was described by an opponent as (*) “Angry Harry Potter.” He fulfilled a boast he made before the playoffs started by having the first beer of his life after winning his first championship. This player claimed that he spent one offskeeson punching brick walls to strengthen his knuckles for greater ball control. For 10 points, name this star player of the High Rollers and Balls Out who defeated archrivals Notorious B.I. Skee to win a DC area Skeeball League.ANSWER: Bruce ArthurShea Serrano once lamented wasting twenty minutes trying to replicate this action in ASCII form. One defense of this action opens by admitting that its author is a “heathen” from living 10 years in New York City, but goes on to call this action “a victory over Big Brother in some small way;” that defense describes Marco (+) Belinelli and Jameer Nelson’s takes on it. This action first occurred in Game 7 of the 2004 Western Conference Semifinals, when its inventor helped eliminate the Kings. After Kevin (*)?Martin was fined $15,000 for performing this action in November, Zach Lowe noted that the NBA penalized players for this action worse than for multiple flopping incidents. This action originated with Minnesota Timberwolves player Sam Cassell. For 10 points, name this infamous celebration performed by hopping up and down while holding two weighty imaginary spheres beneath one’s crotch.ANSWER: the?Big Balls?Dance [or the Sam?Cassell?victory dance before “Cassell” is read]During a trial, prosecutor Didi Cassidy begins her opening arguments by stating two different values for this number. The final value for this number is listed by one character as “about thirty eight thousand.” Rare increases in this number are caused by the mysteriously appearing Daniel “Bulldog” Novacek and the (*) birth of a child on a ship called The Rising Star. This number is frequently updated on a whiteboard on during the first season. Some of the biggest changes to this number occur with the destruction of the Olympic Carrier and the appearance of the Pegasus. For 10 points, name this number which is updated in each episode of the credits of Battlestar Galactica.ANSWER: number of survivors in the fleetGregg Popovich once grumbled that he should have shown his bench a picture of this player and sarcastically asked if they had seen him before after he defeated Tojjevuk Parker in an honor duel. This player wears the number “9” out of respect for his father Desire, nicknamed “Itchy” during (+) Life Day. In the 2012-2013 season, this player’s experience using a bowcaster helped him shoot from the midrange more efficiently than any other player with over 300 attempts. Chris Paul decided that letting this player (*)?win was a better strategy than testing him after learning that he pulled Dwyane Wade’s legs out of their sockets after he lost. This player’s signature defensive technique is to jump in from the weakside to spike opponent layup attempts out of bounds, before roaring, beating his chest, and wagging his finger. Sam Presti drafted this player into the NBA due to his impressive performance on Real Kashyyyk. For 10 points, name this shot-blocking Congolese Wookie who starts at power forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder.ANSWER:?Serge Chewbacca?The chapter describing this day inserts a small picture of a man’s right eye into the text to accurately represent a sign reading “Keep your eye on Mottson.” On this day, a hatchet-wielding old man in a “puny fury” nearly kills a major character who drives over to a minstrel show to hunt down a runaway boy in a red tie. A woman sadly declares, “I seed de beginnin, en now I sees de endin” on this day after a speech from an unimposing visitor from St. Louis who resembles a “small, aged monkey.” Another character on this date begins to howl in pain after his guardian instructs the horse Queenie to take a?buggie to the left of a monument instead of the right. On this day, Jason fruitlessly drives around town to find his niece Quentin, who has skipped town and robbed him of $7000. The visiting Reverend Shegog delivers a passionate sermon on this day to a black church where Dilsey has taken her son Luster and her ward Benjy. For 10 points, name this holiday that William Faulkner used as the setting for?The Sound and the Fury’s last section, “April 8, 1928.”ANSWER:?Easter?Sunday?[or?April 8?1928]Justin Timberlake attended Taylor Swift’s twenty-fifth birthday donning a mask of this image. This image has its origins in an 80s Japanese comic called Dr. Slump, in which a girl used it to play tricks on other people. A Google software engineer was inspired by this image to leave the company and create a video game based on it. An oral history on this image by Fast Company featured its creators comparing its creation to the development of the Chinese language and claiming “It’s actually really, really powerful.” The Washington Post claimed to only be including a prediction for the 2014 (*) Jaguars Titans games because of the inability to replicate this image in newspaper form. It can be created in Gchat by typing tide, at sign, tilde. For 10 points, name this emoji whose variants include one with eyes and an animated one with flies buzzing around it.ANSWER: poop emojiThis event took place while a man was spending two years earning a masters degree in education from Northern Colorado Teachers' College. This event is described as part of an agenda of "tremendous competition between churches of different denominations." This event, which took place at a church dance in Greeley, involved a song whose narrative was described as "the boy took the girl to his home and kept her from leaving." This event is recounted in the polemic The America I Have Seen, and is why "Wonderful Christmastime" is actually not the most destructive Christmas carol of all time. (*) For 10 points, identify this 1948 event in which hearing a song about a man who uses a spiked drink and excuses about the temperature to entrap his date inspired the intellectual father of the Muslim Brotherhood to condemn American society, indirectly causing the rise of Islamic terrorism through bad songwriting.ANSWER: Sayyid _Qutb_ hearing "_Baby It's Cold Outside_" ................
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