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The Why?I created these quick worksheets to get you actively thinking about, what are the things in your life that can bring you back to love, into alignment and more importantly back to the most authentic beautiful version of yourself.Over the next ten weeks I will be giving you all an opportunity to work though my ten steps to self-love. My intention for you all is to start to crack yourselves open to new possibilities and get you thinking about how you would like to live YOUR LIFE!Step One – People Pleasing (PP)How do you identify if you are a people pleaser?You constantly put other people’s needs before your own.You are doing something for someone from a place of “should” instead from a place of I “want” to do that.The need to please someone else gives you a high, shortly followed by a low because you are looking outside of yourself for validation.My People Pleasing Story.I love to share my experiences around PP because I like you all to be able to relate and also take away from my story whatever you need.My story of people pleasing started when my Dad left my Mum divorced. I was feeling guilty because I had to some extent internalised that it was my fault on some level, something I had done made him leave (as a 9-year-old I was doing the best I could with the tools that I had) so it showed up and I made it part of me. Not anyone’s fault that’s just how conditioning works. Fast forward 20 years and I am stuck in a viscous cycle of not being able to say no to Dad OR anyone else, for that matter. I was people pleasing all over the place with no end in sight. I was putting EVERYONE else before me. Because my belief was that if I say no that person will leave just like Dad did. Seems irrational right? But to the 9-year-old that had formed a belief around keeping people happy or else they will leave, that was my reality. So, what did I do to pull myself out of this cycle and get back on track? And more importantly create space so that I was number one and not number 45,678 on the list?Awareness20955053594000The first step was identifying and becoming aware that this was becoming an issue and what damage was the PP doing emotionally?10477542100500Who are the top 5 people that you are people pleasing for and why?Journaling around where the belief came from in the first place? I had to go back and really lean into what happened to the 9-year-old girl and was that belief true for me now as a 38-year-old?247015224790008572596393000Enrol your partner that you have identified the above and that you are working on it (they will probably secretly be doing a happy dance; our tribe are always aware of how much people pleasing affects us. You will need support during this time. Make some dot points and share why this is important to you?ActionSaying No to others is saying a big YES to ourselvesWhen we are constantly saying YES, we are putting other people’s feelings before our own, it creates an emotional re action that take us further away from who we truly are. We are out of alignment with our truth.There is always an emotional consequence from choosing someone else.When we want to say a no, it doesn’t come from a place of fear, it comes from our truth, which is always a place of love.So why don’t we like to say NO?left69723000What are the emotions that rise in you when you have said a No to someone? Are you scared that they may not like you anymore?right37623800How does it feel within your body? Do you feel tense, sick, anxious?right36893500What are some of the things that you can do if you aren’t always pleasing other people? SummaryNone of us are perfect and there are times when I get back into the rut of people pleasing. But I will always check in with myself and ask where this comes from? Is it the need to be liked? Is it that there is a story attached to the person that I can’t say that NO too? We can still do nice things for people. But my YES now comes from a place of love and a place of WANTING to do nice things for people. In fact, I have worked through the people pleasing so much that now I am more in service to other than ever before. Because I value my need to be happy over pleasing others. My need to keep my self love cup full to the brim instead of pouring from an empty one is the number one priority. ................
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