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AAFAB "Assigned female at birth" refers to a person who was assigned female at birth, regardless of current gender identity.Age play Age play involves pretending to be an extremely different age, usually much younger. This may involve one participant being the baby or toddler and the other being the parent, where the "child" may wear diapers or feed from a bottle. All actors are of age and activity is consensual.Allosexual A term that describes people who are not asexual. If you are not asexual, you are allosexual.Ally Someone who is straight and/or cisgender, but advocates for the queer community (or other marginalized community, e.g., disabled ally).AMAB "Assigned male at birth" refers to a person who was assigned male at birth, regardless of current gender identity.Aromantic Also referred to as aro, an aromantic is someone who does not experience romantic attraction to others. Like asexuality, aromanticism exists on a spectrum, and some aro folks experience romantic attraction in certain situations, while others not at all. Being aromantic does not mean one is also asexual.Asexual Also referred to as ace, a sexual orientation describing someone who is not sexually attracted to other people. Asexuality is a spectrum itself, so some asexual individuals may never want to have sex, while others engage in relationships with allosexual (non-asexual) individuals and have sex with their partners.BBDSM This is an acronym that includes bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It describes a community with a lot of varied behavior. Engaging in BDSM behavior is referred to as "play," and participants may enact "scenes" that are negotiated and choreographed. Scenes may involve inflicting/receiving psychological or physical pain, and play can range from using handcuffs to whips to needles, but it is all consensual.Biphobia Similar to homophobia, biphobia is the hatred, erasure, and/or discrimination of bisexuality. Biphobia often relies on belief that sexual orientations are either straight or gay, and that people who come out as bisexual (particularly men) are only at a way-station to gay town.Bottom surgery Surgical interventions designed to align the genitals of trans folks with their gender identities.For trans men, this surgery generally involves the construction of a penis and testicles. However, this could mean a phalloplasty or a metoidioplasty.For trans women, this surgery generally involves the removal of a penis and testicles and the creation of a vulva and vagina.Butch A form of masculine gender expression. While AFAB individuals may present as butch prior to coming out as trans, a masculine gender expression does not indicate gender hild molester A person who sexually assaults or abuses a child. Child molestation is an act of convenience and aggression, and a perpetrator need not be sexually attracted to children to commit the act.Cisgender A term that refers to a person who identifies with their gender assigned at birth; for example, a person who currently identifies as woman, who was assigned girl/woman at ing out The process of publicly identifying as queer (either sexual identity or gender identity). Coming out is not all or nothing. Some people might be out as gay to their friends, but not in their workplace, or may be out as trans to everyone but their ing out is a highly personal experience, and may carry actual danger (see the increased risk of violence among trans folks, particularly trans women). If someone comes out to you, please do not out them to anyone else.Cross-dresser Someone who enjoys dressing as another gender. This can be a private or public behavior. While anyone can be a cross-dresser, a common trope is the straight man who likes to wear women's clothes. Cross-dressing, like gender expression in general, does not indicate or signal one's gender or sexual identity.DDown-low This refers to men who identify as straight, but also (generally secretly) have sex with men. The term originated in, and is mostly used by, communities of color.Drag A style of dress that plays to gender stereotypes, and is usually used for entertainment. A drag queen is a (usually gay) man who flamboyantly dresses as a woman, while a drag king is a (usually gay) woman who flamboyantly dresses as a man.FFemme A form of feminine gender expression. While AMAB individuals may present as femme prior to coming out as trans, a feminine gender expression does not indicate gender identity.Furries Furries are people who enjoy dressing up as and expressing themselves as animals. This activity can either be sexual or non-sexual. They might have a fursona, which is their animal personality.GGay Can refer to either anyone who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of the same gender, or to men who are attracted to other men. Please note that this includes trans men who are attracted to other men (either cis or trans).Gender A term that encompasses many constructs such as:Gender assignment (the gender one is assigned at birth)Gender attribution (how others perceive one's gender)Gender identity (the gender one identifies with)Gender roles (the social obligations one's gender is associated with)Gender binary The social construct of gender that includes only two genders: man and woman. The gender binary has become a major subject of popular discourse in the last several decades. However, historical evidence (particularly among non-white populations) challenges the idea that there have "always been only two genders."Gender expression How one manifests gender. Expression of gender may not be related to one's gender identity or sexual identity. For example, a straight cis woman may choose to dress in suits and ties, while a gay trans man may choose to wear dresses.Gender non-conforming Also abbreviated as GNC, gender non-conforming refers to people who do not conform to social or cultural expectations of gender (e.g., a straight cis man who likes to wear makeup).Genderqueer Genderqueer individuals identify outside the gender binary. They may alternatively identify as "non-binary." Remember that identity is separate from expression, so it is not usually possible to perceive someone as genderqueer without their disclosure.HHeteroflexible Someone who identifies as "mostly" straight, but curious or flexible with regard to same-gender attractions. This is not a synonym for bisexuality, however. Heteroflexible folks may only be interested in same-gender sexual activity on a case-by-case basis, or in certain situations.Heteronormative The prevailing institutions and systems that reinforce the "rightness" of being straight. For example, romantic comedies are predominantly heteronormative, in that they assume that the protagonists are a man and a woman whose goal is to get together, have babies, and live happily ever after. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not the only story or experience out there.)Hijra A third gender recognized on the Indian subcontinent. Usually AMAB, hijra are perceived as a third gender, and generally live in communities together. They have a unique social standing, as they often are poor and must resort to sex work to survive, but also are sought out to convey blessings during auspicious occasions, such as weddings and childbirth.Homophobia Homophobia is the hatred, erasure, and/or discrimination of homosexuality. Homophobia often conflates gender expression with sexual identity, and so polices any behavior or attitude considered to be stereotypically gay. It can be both institutionalized (that is, endorsed by the social and cultural systems, as in Saudi Arabia, where homosexuality is literally a capital offense) and internalized (that is, hating oneself for deviating from heteronormative thoughts and behaviors).IIntersex Intersex is an umbrella term that describes someone with non-typical genitals, non-typical internal reproductive organs, and/or non-typical chromosomal arrangements.For example, an intersex person might have male-typical genitals, but also have ovaries.The prevalence of intersex folks depends on how intersex is defined, but generally is as common as natural redheads.KKink Kink is an umbrella term that refers to consensual non-normative sexual behavior. While it is usually used as a synonym for BDSM, it also includes behavior like furries, pony play, and age play.LLesbian A woman who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other women. Please note this includes trans women who are attracted to other women (whether cis or trans).LGBTQIA2S+ This acronym is a collection of terms that describe sexual identities for people who do not identify as straight. They can include:LesbianGayBisexualTransgenderQueerQuestioningIntersexAromanticAsexualTwo-SpiritPansexualPolyamorousMMetamour The romantic partner of your romantic partner (who is not your partner). For example, if you are married, your spouse's other relationship partner is your metamour.Misgender To refer to someone as the wrong gender. This can be blatantly referring to someone as the wrong gender, dead-naming them (that is, calling them by the name they were assigned at birth, after they changed their name), and using the wrong pronouns.Misgendering is harmful to trans folks because it invalidates their identities and their experiences, and it can lead to dehumanization and even violence. Please be considerate to people, regardless of their gender identity, and if someone corrects you, take the feedback and try to do better next time.MonogamyAn intimate relationship between two people where they agree that they will commit only to each other for sex, romantic love, and affection.MSM "Men who have sex with men," which is usually used on the context of research. This is a behavioral descriptor, not an identity, and can include men who are gay, bi, and heteroflexible.NNon-monogamy (also known as ethical non-monogamy)Non-monogamy refers to a relationship style where the dating partners are honest and open about having relationships (romantic, sexual, or affectionate) with other partners. All parties are aware of each other and consent to this style of relationship. Deception and secrecy are not practiced; instead, communication, trust, and transparency are core values of ethical non-monogamy.Terms that also refer to this relationship style: Consensual Non-Monogamy, Ethical Non-Monogamy, ENM, non-monog, open relationshipPPansexual Pansexual (also called omnisexual) is a sexual identity that refers to individuals who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to individuals regardless of gender identity or physical body configuration.Pansexual is only differentiated from bisexual by individual choice. That is, in practice, there is no real difference between pansexual and bisexual identities; it only depends on how an individual chooses to identify. There can be individual differences in preferences, however; a bisexual person might not be interested in trans people, while a pansexual person might not be interested in cis people. Again, individual difference applies.Passing The act of conforming to traditional gender role expectations in gender expression and performance or heterosexual relationship expectations. A person who “passes” as a given gender is usually someone who is trans or non-binary, though the motivation is not to trick or deceive. Some people actively try to pass to avoid hostility from others, and some pass incidentally. This is different from erasure. For example, a cisgender pansexual individual who has an opposite gender partner might be perceived as straight, but is still pansexual – in this case, the person’s pansexual identity is erased by assumptions of heterosexuality.Passing today is usually applied to gender identity, as in, whether trans people are perceived as cis or not. However, not every trans person wants to pass, and plenty of non-binary folks cannot or do not want to pass.Pedophile Someone with a sexual attraction to children, which can range from babies to post-pubescent teenagers (but below the age of consent). A pedophile does not necessarily act on their attraction, and thus not all pedophiles are child molesters.Polyamorous Individuals who have (consensual) relationships with more than one person at a time are called polyamorous, in contrast with monogamous. Also known as polyam, these folks can be in a variety of relationship configurations. For example, in a triad, one person has two other partners who are also partners with each other, while in a V, one person has two partners who are not partners with each other.Note that a better abbreviation for this orientation is “polyam” and not “poly,” in deference to the wishes of Polynesian communities, who identify as “Poly.”Pony play Individuals who engage in pony play dress up and express themselves as ponies or trainers/riders. This activity may or may not be sexual. There is usually a dominance/submission element to it, with the pony being the submissive.Pronouns Some people have standard pronouns, and some people don't. Some trans or non-binary folks prefer using the pronouns of their identified gender, some prefer using "they," and some prefer using a different, neutral set. Below are some examples of neutral pronouns:Xe, xir, xirsZie, hir, hirsXe, xem, xyrsIt's always acceptable to ask someone what pronouns they use if you aren't sure. If you use the wrong one, correct yourself and move on (you don't need to make a big deal of it). It can take a while to get used to using non-traditional pronouns, but if you keep at it, you'll get there!QQPOC/QTPOC "Queer people of color" or "queer/trans people of color"Queer Queer is used as an umbrella to describe people who are not heterosexual, or not cisgender. It can be used as a sexual identity and as a gender identity.Questioning A term that describes someone who is exploring their own sexual or gender identity and is not yet comfortable identifying with a specific label.SSex Sex refers to the biological aspects of gender: male, female, and intersex. Sex is often used interchangeably with gender, but this breaks down when describing trans and non-binary folks.Sexual preference This term refers to who an individual is sexually attracted to. It is sometimes used interchangeably with sexual identity (e.g., bisexual, gay). However, with consideration for non-binary folks, sexual preference can be a more precise term.Statutory rape Having sex with someone who is underage. Because of age of consent laws in our country, individuals who are below a certain age (16-18, depending on the state) cannot legally consent to sexual activity. This gets muddy when the partner is also below the age of consent, or just above it. The laws were made for use against adults who molested children, but can be used for older teens who have sex with slightly younger teens.Stealthing Secretly removing the condom during penis-in-vagina intercourse. This is a really terrible thing to do, and can be (and should be) considered an act of sexual violence.TTop surgery Surgical interventions designed to align the chests of trans folks with their gender identities.For trans men, this surgery generally involves the removal of the breasts (i.e., a mastectomy).For trans women, this surgery generally involves inserting breast implants (i.e., breast augmentation).Transgender Often abbreviated as trans, individuals who are transgender identify with a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth. Trans is a wide umbrella term that encompasses non-binary folks as well.Trans folks include: people who identify as another gender and are taking hormones; people who identify as another gender and have had top surgery, but not bottom surgery; people who identify as another gender and have had both top and bottom surgery; and people who identify as another gender and never intend to have any surgery. Some folks who have had both top and bottom surgery choose not to identify as trans anymore. It really depends on the individual.Please note that surgery is not required to validate someone's trans identity, nor is there a level of passing they need to reach.Transition This refers to the process that some trans folks undergo to change their gender expression and/or their bodies to align more closely with their identified gender. There are different types and steps of transition, including:Physical appearance (e.g., hairstyle, clothing)Behavior (e.g., voice, gender roles)Identification (e.g., legal name change, pronouns)Hormones (i.e., testosterone or estrogen)Surgery (i.e., top and/or bottom surgery)The time it takes a person to transition varies greatly based on several factors (e.g., safety, access to medical care, money for surgery), and not every trans person goes through every type or step of transition.Transmisogyny A specific form of transphobia that targets trans women. Transphobia (hatred of trans folk) + misogyny (hatred of women).Transphobia Transphobia is the hatred, erasure, and/or discrimination of transgender folk. Transwomen are often the targets, as transphobia is usually compounded with homophobia. This is most apparent in the "trans panic" defense of violence against trans women, as when a straight cis man dates or has sex with a trans woman and upon realization or disclosure that she has a penis, physically harms and/or murders her.Transsexual An outdated term used to describe trans folk who have surgically transitioned to their identified gender.Please just use the term transgender.Two-Spirit A term used by some North American indigenous peoples to describe people with gender identities outside of man and woman. Depending on the community, Two-Spirit people have enjoyed high social standing and respect, though this is not always the case (similar to the hijra in India).WWSW "Women who have sex with women," which is usually used on the context of research. This is a behavioral descriptor, not an identity, and can include women who are lesbian, bi, and heteroflexible. ................
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