Question #1: Keats’s “When I Have Fears” and Longfellow’s ...



2008 AP English Literature Scoring Guide

Question #1: Keats’s “When I have Fears” and Longfellow’s “Mezzo Cammin”

General Directions: This scoring guide will be useful for most of the essays that you read, but in problematic cases, please consult your table leader. The score that you assign should reflect your judgment of the quality of the essay as a whole—its content, its style, its mechanics. Reward the writers for what they do well. The score for an exceptionally well-written essay may be raised by one point above the otherwise appropriate score. In no case may a poorly written essay be scored higher than a three (3).

|9-8 |These essays offer a persuasive comparison/contrast of the two poems and present an insightful analysis of the relationship between them and the |

| |techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation. Although these essays offer a range of interpretations and choose to emphasize |

| |different poetic techniques, they also provide convincing reading of both poems and demonstrate consistent and effective control over the elements of |

| |composition in language appropriate to the analysis of poetry. Their textual references are apt and specific. Though they may not be error-free, |

| |these essay are perceptive in their analysis and demonstrate writing that is clear and sophisticated, and in the case of a nine (9) essay, especially |

| |persuasive. |

|7-6 |These competent essays offer a reasonable comparison/contrast of the two poems and an effective analysis of the relationship between them and the |

| |techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation. They are less thorough or less precise in their discussion, and their analysis of |

| |the relationship between the two poems is less convincing. These essays demonstrate the ability to express ideas clearly with references to the text,|

| |although they do not exhibit the same level of effective writing as the 9-8 papers. While essays scored 7-6 are generally well written, those scored |

| |a seven (7) demonstrate more sophistication in both substance and style. |

|5 |These essays may respond to the assigned task with a plausible reading of the two poems and their relationship, but they may be superficial in their |

| |analysis. They often rely on paraphrase, but paraphrase that contains some analysis, implicit or explicit. Their comparison/contrast of the |

| |relationship between the two poems may be vague, formulaic, or minimally supported by references to the texts. There maybe minor misinterpretations |

| |of one of both poems. These essays demonstrate control of language, but the writing may be marred by surface errors. The essays are not as well |

| |conceived, organized, or developed as 7-6 essays. |

|4-3 |These lower-half essays fail to offer an adequate analysis of the two poems. The analysis may be partial, unconvincing, or irrelevant, or may ignore |

| |one of the poems completely. Evidence form the poems may be slight or misconstrued, or the essay may rely on paraphrase only. The writing often |

| |demonstrates a lack of control over the conventions of composition: inadequate development of ideas, accumulation of errors, or a focus that is |

| |unclear, inconsistent, or repetitive Essays scored a three (3) may contain significant misreading and/or demonstrate inept writing. |

|2-1 |These essays compound the weaknesses of the papers in the 4-3 range. Although some attempt has been made to respond to the prompt, the assertions are|

| |presented with little clarity, organization, or support from the poems themselves. The essay may contain serious errors in grammar and mechanics. |

| |These essays may offer a complete misreading or be unacceptably brief. Essays scored a one (1) contain little coherent discussion of the poems. |

|0 |These essays give a response with no more than a reference to the task. |

|— |These essays are either left blank or are completely off-topic. |

Question #1: Keats’s “When I Have Fears” and Longfellow’s “Mezzo Cammin”

Sample Essays

Sample OOO

“When I Have Fears” by John Keats and “Mezzo Cammin” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, are poems that reflect on the prospect of death. Several poetic devices are used to characterize and explane the situation of poem. Although the exists the similarity of little time to fulfill their desires, “When I Have Fears” shows that the man worked hard in his life but was not able to obtain his goal. The other exemplifies a wasted life.

John Keats explores the situation of his poem through use of metaphors. He says, “When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,” (line 5). This can be seen as a metaphor, characterizing the night as the closure of his life. Continuing, “. . . I may never live to trace their shadows, with the magic hand of chance” (line 7-8). This quote characterizes the speakers lonelinesses and regret that his life is coming to a close. It is a metaphorical representation that he will never possess the chance to explore true love. Finally, he says, “And when I feel, fair creature of an hour, that I shall never look upon thee more, never have relish in the faery power of unreflecting love. . .” (lines 9-12). Here the speaker explains that if he finds love, it will only be for a short period. He will not be able to experience what love really is before his time on Earth runs out.

Similarly, Mezzo Cammin was characterize as a poetic work, reflecting on the failed accomplishment. However, this poem reflected more so on the past and was less metaphorical. It did, however, contain much imagery. The poem reads, “Though, half-way up the hill,” referring to the middle of life he was going through, “I see Past lying beneath me with its sounds and sights – a city in the twilight dim and vast, with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights. . .” (lines 9-12). The imagery paints a picture to the reader of what kind of vibrant life the speaker was into. However, it also serves as an illustration that the speaker was not fulfilled despite the fast-paced exciting place in which he dwelled. He continued, “And hear above me on the autumnal blast, the cataract of Death far thundering from the heights.” (lines 13-14). This quote is an assertion of the speaker’s unfulfilled life. The “cataract of Death” is in the speaker’s view. So it is evident that death is upon him and he had not yet filled the void in his life.

Several poetic devices where used to characterize the similar, yet contrasting, poems presented.

Sample AA

Each speaker in both poems speak about death whether it is about anticipating death happening or just the mere thought of death, both speakers have different views and express their views using poetic techniques.

Both speakers use a rhyme scheme throughout the whole poem. The rhyme schemes give the poems rhythm and balance.

Sample UU

While Keats’s “When I Have Fears” focuses mainly on future goals before the end of life and Longfellow’s “Mezzo Cammin” is a reflection on unachieved goals of the past, the two poems relate to the temporariness of life and the pressure to meet one’s goals, past or present. Keats uses imagery and diction pertaining to the vastness of nature to highlight the narrator’s loss of control over time, while Longfellow uses diction relating to “half”-completed tasks and personification of the “past” and of “Death” in order to emphasize the narrator’s feelings of inadequacy or lack of “fulfillment.”

The description of the enormity of nature in “When I Have Fears” reveal the narrator’s feelings of insignificance. Words such as “night,” “Huge cloudy symbols,” and “shadows” clarify the presence of a larger universe that the narrator cannot control. Reminders of “the shore/of the wide world” make the narrators efforts to prolong time and accomplish his goals futile, as the work of nature progresses. Just as waves on the shore continue relentlessly, time progresses without any interruptions, and the notion that the narrator may not achieve his goals becomes all the more possible when considering that he “[stands] alone.” The overwhelming size and power of nature establishes a force greater than the narrator, or a force, that, in its uncontrollable state, has more authority over the narrator’s life than he does himself.

Longfellow’s diction that relates to “halves” along with his personification of the “past” and “Death” emphasize the lack of realization of personal goals and the pressure to achieve them in the future. “Mezzo Cammin,” which, similar to “When I Have Fears,” deals with the inescapable passing of time, focuses on a lack of completion and overall dissatisfaction in terms of goals achieved. However, its examination of the past in relationship to the present render the “past” a force that works against the narrator, as it only grows larger with the passing of time. Longfellow’s use of phrases such a “Half of my life” and “not fulfilled” clarify the level of dissastisfaction of the narrator and the notion that he must still take action in the future to meet those goals. The notion that he is “half-way up the hill” demonstrates his journey through life and reiterates the idea that time has prevented him from truly finishing a desired task. The personification of the “Past” and “Death” leave the narrator caught between two forces, where he is unable to recapture one and is weary to face the other. As the “Past” “[lies” beneath [him],” it dons a power greater than his own in its inability to be regained which especially is especially clear through the description of the “city in the twilight dim and vast.” “Death” becomes undesirable, but the past cannot be revisited, leaving the narrator stuck with unfinished dreams.

Sample LL

Both poems by Keats and Longfellow reflect on unfulfilled dreams and the imminence of death, yet their conclusions are somewhat different. Longfellow mourns his inaction and seems to view the past as comfortable compared to an uncertain future. On the other hand, Keats worries that he will not be able to accomplish all that he wants to, but as he recognizes the enormity and possibility of the world, he realizes that his mortal goals are meaningless. Longfellow’s ultimate tone about death is fearful and grim, but Keats’ is more appreciative of the wonder of life and therefore more hopeful.

The similarities between the poems lie mainly in the openings which begrudge the fleeting nature of life. Keats’ fear that he “may cease to be” parallels Longfellow’s statement that “half of [his] life is gone.” The men continue to express their fears about not having the time or being able to accomplish what they want to. Keats’ repitition of the word “before” as an anaphora emphasizes his concern that he may die before he is able to attain his literary goals or harness the opportunity of “the full ripen’d grain,” a simile for the possibility that he sees in his work. Longfellow, too, acknowledges his failure to “fulfill the aspiration of [his youth]” and “build some tower of song with lofty parapet,” which is similar to Keats’ hope to leave behind his legacy of words. The beginnings of the poems both depict men who fear that time is running out.

The middles, or second parts of the poems illustrate the contrast between the two situations. In line5, Keats starts to talk about the beauty and mystery of love with images of “shadows” and “huge cloudy symbols of a high romance.” He seems to believe that love comes by fate, and he is sad to miss out on such “chance” when it comes time for him to die. He speaks of never having the opportunity to “look upon thee more” and indulge in innocent, “unreflecting love,” showing that he has experienced love before but now his chances for pure love are ruined because he is so aware of death. Longfellow’s poem takes a different tone as he says he has not experienced “pleasure” or “passions,” but has experienced “sorrow” and too much “care” which has paralyzed him. Longfellow’s fear of death seems to stop him completely from accomplishing his goals, while Keats has taken advantage of the time that he has had and is merely scared now that he does not have time to continue living.

The end of the poems show these different attitudes toward life and death by using similar situations. Keats walks to a shore and Longfellow to a hill to contemplate life, and both look out before them. While Keats sees the “wide world,” which alliteration emphasizes the possibility of, Longfellow look out and sees a city as a metaphor for the past. Keats realizes that his goals for literary fame and love before he dies are “nothingness” compared to the grand scope of life. However Longfellow sees the “smoking roof, soft bells, and gleaming lights” of a hazy and idealized past with a clear and powerful waterfall of death right overheard. Keats seems to recognize the opportunity left in his life when he looks out, though it may be daunting but Longfellow sees only a past haunted by death and no future to speak of.

Sample CCCC

The poems “When I Have Fears” and “Mezzo Cammin” by John Keats and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow both discuss how the speakers have not accomplished all that they wanted to during their youth. While the style of each writer is completely different form the other, the message is still the same—you fear that you can never accomplish all your dreams. The poems are different in that Keats uses older diction and looks upon his life in a romantic perspective while Longfellow uses diction that is easier to understand and sees his life like a dream world. It is interesting that both writers end on the same “watery” note. Keats’ love and fame will “sink” and Longfellow well inevitibly drown in the “cataract of Death far thundering from the heights.”

Sample ZZ

When reading “When I Have Fears” and “Mezzo Cammin” a can first and foremost see that both authors use a repitition in rhythm until the end of the poem where they then break off into a separate rhythm.

As John Keats explains his fear at dying and losing love he has the attitude of a worried man doesn’t feel that he is going to live long. (line 7) One can see that there is no more hope left in the character in the poem because the author paints a picture of a man who is alone and almost seems ready to die.

However in Henry W. Longfellow’s poem “Mezzo Cammin” he paints a picture of a man who isn’t ready to die and in fact has an urge to go on in life. The tone of the character is one of pride and yet the fear of unsuccess.

Both authors have expressed a fear in one way or another but the difference is that one give you a sense of hope (Henry W. Longfellow) and the other a sense of worry and failure (John Keats). Both authors do indeed capture their audience and leave them with a thought.

Score: “9”

Due to a largely heightened consciousness, many humans have a fear of the unknown and, inevitably, of death. Humans desire to be in control, to have the power to predict the future so time will not be wasted. In the poems by Keats and Longfellow, both narrators present the fear of a wasted life in their recognition that time is forever in motion. Through metaphors and personification, the narrators describe the contrast between the past and the future, and the hope that their lives will not be spent consumed by trivial matters.

With a more optimistic approach, Keats’ narrator in “When I Have Fears” forms a solution to his overwhelming fear of death. The narrator is metacognitive, acutely aware of his desires and how he may obtain them. He recognizes the brute unimportance of trivial pursuits such as fame and love referring to love as “cloudy” and romance as “high”, giving the euphoric feeling of one’s inability to be in control, the extreme opposite of being grounded in one’s own thoughts. He continues, using personification to characterize the matters of love and fame, the ridiculous desires of the greater population. Chance, he says, has a “magic hand,” one that is unreliable and often disappointing, and love has a “faery power,” an unbelievable and often sporratic appearance. The narrator recognizes his innate desire to attain these things, to achieve fame and experience love, yet he is able to reconcile with the fact that fame and love are often fleeting and that to achieve a greater self-actualization he must “sink” these desires and focus on the future, embracing the “creature of an hour.” He is aware of himself and is optimistic about the future, confident that he can achieve greatness.

Longfellow’s narrator, in contrast, takes a pessimistic approach in his similar fear in “Mezzo Cammin.” He looks to the past with regret, as opposed to Keats’ determination, using the fact that his life is half over as a signal to give up hope. He states that he has not yet built “some tower of song” as he has not been able to accomplish anything concrete; he has no grand tower by which he can prove his capabilities. He blames his wasted years on sorrow, characterizing his emotions as oppressors that smothered his aspirations and choked his dreams. He describes his life as a hill up which he is halfway, a mountain of despair that must overcome. He sees the Past behind him, depicted as a city in “the twilight dim,” sinking into the darkness of gloom that he has created in his inability to embrace his past. The Past has “soft bells and gleaming lights”, images of comfort that make the past seem welcoming and safe. The narrator realizes, though, that the Past is now behind him and that he cannot turn back, as the impending brutality of Death approaches quickly, a “cataract” that drowns the hope that the past once held. Longfellow’s author looks to the past, not to the future, for inspiration and comfort, though the past is quickly being swallowed by years.

Both narrators utilize metaphors and personification to characterize their lives and to contrast their past with their future, though each takes a strikingly different approach in doing so. While Keats’ narrator is proactive and optimistic, sure that he can overcome trivial matters, Longfellow’s narrator is trapped in the past, unable to recognize that the lights behind him can be found in the future, if only he clears the heavy water. These narrators, in describing their fears, embody the collective unconscious fear of death and the unknown, each provoking the audience to embrace each hour and live with high hopes, as the future will quickly become a part of the past.

Sample TT

Both sonnets of John Keats and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow attempt to describe dissappointment with a lack of accomplishment in their lives. Yet Keats and Longfellow differ in their views on life and what they have allowed to pass them by. Keats imagines the joys of life and its majesties, whereas Longfellow is buoyed down by the past and can only see death in his future. The contrast present in these two poems is made clear through their distinctly different imagery and metaphors; Keats’ having more of a positive and inspirational quality, whereas Longfellow’s are dark and disillusioned.

The imagery that Keats and Longfellow use contrast directly with each other, giving Keats’ poem a more positive outlook. Keats discusses “high romance,” with a “magic hand” and “faery power.” His imagery is focused on love and its power, a power he will sadly never experience, if his fears are realized. Yet is this positive imagery of a “fair creature of an hour,” that is able to alleviate Keats’ fears. In contrast, Longfellow’s imagery conveys a sense of disillusionment and resignation. The “autumnal blast” of a “cataract of Death” that is “thundering from the heights” shows Longfellow’s pessissm and resignation that the “sorrow, and a care that almost killed” that prevented him from realizing his dreams have gotten the best of him. Longfellow’s imagery of nearing death offer a dissappointing and painful life predominates his poem.

The metaphor of high romance that Keats uses and the metaphors the city of the Past that Longfellow creates are two contrasting images. The “huge cloudy symbols of high romance” and their “shadows” inspire Keats to do away with his fears and continue living his life. It is a metaphor of inspiration and positivity. Longfellow, on the other hand, compares the Past to a great city in the “twilight dim and vast.” It has “gleaming lights” and “soft bells” and is a welcoming place. Yet Longfellow is walking away from that Past towards a perilous future, and looks back at it longingly, lamenting what could have been.

The imagery and metaphors used by Keats and Longfellow, contrast with each other in a way that makes Keats sonnet an inspiration and Longfellow’s sonnet a lament. The light, almost mythical imagery of Keats words contrasts sharply with the dark and ominous nature of Longfellow.

Sample VVV

Both of these poems are sonnets from the 18th century about what seems to resemble a mid-life crysis. One of the poems is written in the Shakespearian style of writting and seems to have a more optimistic view on life, while the other which is written in the Petrarchan has a more pesamistic view on life.

The poem entitled “When I Have Fears” by John Keats is written in the Shakespearian Sonnet style and has an optimistic view on his life. It seems as if he is in the midst of a mid-life crysis but despite that he still looks on eh sunny side of everything. This is seen primarily in the heroic couplet in word choices. He uses words like “love” and “fame” and eventually gong to nothing as opposed to Longfellow who refers to the contract of thundering from the heights.

In the second poem entitled “Mezzo Cammin” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow which was written in the pertrarchan style of writing, seems to have a more pesimistic point of view on his dilema. In the poem Longfellow expresses this through his diction, for example lines 1 and 2 where he states that he has let half of his life slip away and he feels as if he hasn’t done all that he could of. He also states that he knows that death is approaching him in his final line where he states, “and hear above me on the autumnal blast the contract of death far thundering from the heights.”

Both poets wrote sonnets about their lives and how each of them are having a bit of a mid life crysis. The key difference between them however seems to be their standing on it. John Keats seems to be more hopeful about the future while Henry Wadswroth Longfellow, seems to be more critical and pesimistic about the whole ordeal.

Sample OO

It comes as no surprise that the world’s utmost fear is the fear of dying. To die is to leave behind; one’s work, one’s family, one’s emotions and aspiration, hopes and memories, plans and regrets are dissolved in an instant. Life is to be celebrated, with the brunt face of death always leering on the horizon, but sometimes humankind forgets this notion and becomes enveloped in worry, spite and despair. Poets John Keats and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow explore the classic mid-life crisis in the poems “When I Have Fears” and “Mezzo Cammin” respectively. Utilizing the rhetorical techniques of figurative language, and imagery, the poets examine the fragility and wistfulness of life but arrive at very different conclusions.

Manipulating simile and metaphor, Keats and Longfellow re-enforce their divergent themes on the fleeting nature of life. As Keats examines his personal library, he sees possibility and hope but he also witnesses the destruction of these daydreams at the hand of untimely death. “…Before high-piled books, in charactery,/Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain,” Keats describes, producing a simile to deliver the delight that a collection of books brings him to paper. However, there is a touch of sadness in this language, too, as the volumes of books also symbolize the passage of time. Keats quickly fills his poem with “what if”’s recognizing all he has taken for granted in life in a telling epiphany. Longfellow’s figurative language takes on a scene of time, a map of events with the speaker thrust in its center. “..[H]alfway up the hill, I see the past/Lying beneath me…”. Longfellow paints an individual with the literal ability to look back on the years of his life, not as dates or scattered memories, but as a city. Further, the character is endowed with the ability to hear “the autumnal blast/The cataract of Death,” a glimpse into his dim future.

Both writers create poems that portray emotions and wants, and the expression of the theme of life’s fragile frame, with artistic fervor. As Keats loses himself in the black-blue of the night sky, he writes “When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,/Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance.” His bittersweet heartache is reflected in all he sees, from the shadows of the clouds to his beautiful lover. Longfellow also approaches his imagery with a certain duality. The city of his past, “with its sounds and sights,— /A city in the twilight dim and vast,/With smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights,” is a warm portrait of peace and pleasantness. But the sound of Death’s waterfall alone, “thundering from the heights” paints the picture of a ravenous and destructive force.

As Keats and Longfellow reflect on the past and look to the future, they are both enchanted by the possibilities of what the future yet holds. In their examinations, they each forsake some hindrance to their accomplishments: Keats abandons love and fame, Longfellow sorrow. These poets, taking at once divergent and similar paths to their message, declare that nothing shall stand in the way of achieving personal happiness.

Sample M

One might feel, as the years go on, the lose of past aspirations. Death could be right around the corner and one could face troubles coping with such anxiety. Both John Keats, in his 1818 poem “When I Have Fears,” and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, in his 1842 poem “Mezzo Cammin,” emphasize the significance of the passing of life. These two artists use multiple poetic techniques, but they are mostly comparable through the descriptive imagery used, the diction, and the theme.

First, Keats and Longfellow’s works can be compared through the imagery used. Keats’ imagery used in “When I Have Fears” show more of a symbolic image, than does Longfellow. The quotes, “Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance…,” (line 6) and, “Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance,” (line 8) both show imagery of clouds and shadows. However, these images shown are more of a representative of a higher meaning than the simple image. The cloud floating high in the sky represents the high romance that Keats is so envious of and the shadow represents the “hand of chance” (line 8) a chance to have romance in one’s life. Longfellow’s imagery in “Mezzo Cammin” is more literal than Keats’ imagery. The quote, “A city in the twilight dim and vast, with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights…,” (lines 11-12) show the literal meaning of the vast city landscape Longfellow is describing. Longfellow speaks of seeing the Past lying beneath him, which includes the city he so clearly describes. Therefore, Longfellow’s imagery can be seen as of the more literal sense than Keats’ imagery.

Secondly, Keats’ and Longfellow’s poems can be compared through the diction. Keats, even though he wrote “When I Have Fears” only twenty four years before Longfellow wrote “Mezzo Cammin,” uses more of an archaic diction in his work. The quote, “When I have fears that I may cease to be before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,” (lines 1-2) shows the archaic style Keats used compared to Longfellow’s more modern diction used in “Mezzo Cammin.” Longfellow’s quote, “Half of my life is gone, and I have let the years slip form me and have not fulfilled the aspirations of my youth,” (lines 1-3) compared to Keats’ quote above is more of a modern diction that is better understood by a reader from today’s time period without straining the brain. Besides comparing the poems by using archaic and modern diction, both poems use a vast amount of adjectives in describing key objects. Keats uses the phrases “high romance” (line 6) and “unreflecting love” (line 12), which both uses adjective to emphasize the relativity of the object. This is seen also by Longfellow’s phrase, “with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights,” (line 12) to set the imagery that Longfellow craved for. Even though Keats and Longfellow’s diction was different though an archaic or modern style of writing, they both used a vast amount adjectives to describe key objects in the poems.

Finally, these poems can be contrasted through their theme. Both poems seem to emphasize the concept of death to create a theme of; Life is short and death is right around the corner. Keats tends to focus more on the romantic side of life. The narator fears death and longs for love before his time has come. Longfellow’s narator acknowledges death is coming and flashes back to his past and his unresolved aspirations he once held. They both strive to understand death, but it seems out of reach.

Keats’ 1818 poem, “When I Have Fears,” and Longfellow’s 1842 poem, “Mezzo Cammin,” can be compared more efficently through imagery, the use of archaic or modern diction, and the theme of coping with death.

Question 1 Ranger Finder Annotations—2008

|1 |AA |Typical 1—unacceptably brief; does not say much at all about the poems. |

|2 |CCCC |This paragraph makes general observations about the similarity and difference in the two poems, but there is no analysis. |

| | |Placed against the 1 paper, there is a little more, but not much. |

|3 |ZZ |This paper has the makings of an essay (i.e. a beginning, a middle, and end), but its development is thin (notice how brief |

| | |the paragraphs are!). There is some misreading of both poems, but there is an attempt at analysis. Repetition of “paints a |

| | |picture,” always a bad sign. Lacks support. |

|4 |VVV |This paper has four paragraphs that attempt analysis, and while some of what the writer says about the poems is not wrong, the|

| | |reader has to do too much work to figure out what the writer is trying to say. The essay is structurally sound and uses |

| | |appropriate transitions, but the ideas and the writing are unsophisticated, thus the paper remains in the lower half of the |

| | |range. . Only “analysis” is in paragraph 2, and it’s minimal. First and last paragraphs say the same thing—no meat in the |

| | |middle |

|5 |OOO |The writer of this paper works closely with the two poems, but the analysis, such as it is in superficial. The writer focuses|

| | |a great deal on the “what” but provides few effective examples to give the essay adequate substance for a true upper half |

| | |essay. The organization is good, but overall, the essay falls in the middle of the scoring range. |

|6 |UU |This essay is upper half, though in the lower range. The beginning of the essay is ambitious. The writer is insightful and |

| | |demonstrates nice control over vocabulary use (you can overlook “temporariness”—it works!). The writer does make good use of |

| | |the text in the response and while he or she provides a balanced treatment of the two poems, ultimately the writer does not |

| | |fully support some of the initial claims. Placed against the 5 essay, it is clear to see that this essay is better in its |

| | |analysis and clearly belongs in the upper half. Good ending and excellent verbs. |

|7 |TT |Essay TT is a competent essay that deals effectively with how techniques are employed by the writers to convey meaning. There|

| | |is a strong beginning, but the essay falters in the middle and then regains momentum in the second half of the paper. While |

| | |the writer should have written more on the Keats poem, the essay is well-organized, adequately developed for a score of 7, and|

| | |is even persuasive in places. |

|8 |LL |This is a very well written essay that is a well organized and nicely developed discussion that focuses on repetition, |

| | |imagery, and contrast. The writer has very good control of language and the elements of composition. While some of the |

| | |business of the literary techniques is embedded in the discussion, the essay is still impressive and is a good example of an |

| | |8. Some odd wording but has definite support. Although the ending is weak, it’s obviously “sophisticated.” |

|9 |PP |This essay contains a nicely executed discussion of the poetic elements of the two poems and how they inform the meaning of |

| | |the poems. Though there are some imperfections, the essay is nevertheless a smart, pithy discussion of appropriate |

| | |techniques. The writer demonstrates skill with word choice and provides some graceful and persuasive writing. |

| | |Sophisticated, collegiate, and written from the narrator perspective (none of that inane “reader” business)—has the CMS seal |

| | |of approval. |

Worthy pieces from sample essays Q1:

--“When [he has] Fears,” the speaker finds himself standing all alone “on the shore of the wide world,” and he realizes that love and fame are transient and “to nothing do sink….To Longfellow, the “Past” is merely a distant vision, a city with “dim lights” that suggests the speaker’s separation from his past and preoccupation with a darker future.

--Longfellow contemplates his past and future while the “cataract of Death” is “thundering above him.” With such distraction, he is not able to reach an inner peace and can instead only see the morbid subject of death before him.

--The VOLTA in the middle of Keat’s poem indicates a change in the speaker’s elaboration of his fear of death, transitioning into a description of his fear of not attaining his life’s goals.

--“When [he has] Fears,” the speaker finds himself standing all alone “on the shore of the wide world,” and he realizes that love and fame are transient and “to nothing do sink….To Longfellow, the “Past” is merely a distant vision, a city with “dim lights” that suggests the speaker’s separation from his past and preoccupation with a darker future.

--Longfellow contemplates his past and future while the “cataract of Death” is “thundering above him.” With such distraction, he is not able to reach an inner peace and can instead only see the morbid subject of death before him.

--The VOLTA in the middle of Keat’s poem indicates a change in the speaker’s elaboration of his fear of death, transitioning into a description of his fear of not attaining his life’s goals.

--The imagery brought forth when the speaker states that “high-piled books…hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain” is that of piles of creativity and literary masterpieces setting in the poet’s mind, but will go completely to waste if he passes away before the material is used.

--The image of him [Longfellow] standing in the middle of the hill implies that he can still achieve his aspirations in the second half of his journey. He can move on from the Past, and though he is moving towards Death, he can choose any path he wants to get there.

--Placing himself in a supernatural place allows Keats to contemplate his mortality in relation to the rest of the universe, and although this makes him realize his relative insignificance, it offers him solace and motivates him to pursue his dreams. Far removed from Keat’s mystical shore, Longfellow looks down on a glittery, noisy city, representing his youth, and he continues to journey upward towards death’s impending waterfall. He sees this journey as something he has to take, and unlike Keats, who is consumed with love for a woman, Longfellow’s despair is not caused by “restless passions that would not be stilled,” but instead the acknowledgement that in his lifetime his dreams cannot be achieved. Although this fact troubles Longfellow, it does not stop him, and he continues on the path he has chosen for himself.

--Keats, more so than Longfellow, is at peace with himself, and the idea of “ceas[ing] to be” only strikes in him sorrow and regret at the idea that he will no longer possess the ability to “look upon thee [his love] more.” Directly contrasting this lover’s almost pathetic appeal to death and realization that a life alone is parallel to a life of “nothingness” is Longfellow’s bitter yet resigned narrative detailing his life’s folly which has kept him from fulfilling his childhood dreams. Longfellow does not attack the idea of love but rather recounts his own experience with it, the loss of love, “sorrow and a care that almost killed.”

--Both speakers are trapped in the muck of their fears over their failures. Keats concludes his poem with his constant contemplation of “the wide world [where he] stand[s] alone” that latches his feet in the mire until “love and fame to nothingness to sink.” Longfellow is also trapped as he gazes back at his “Past,” frozen in his place until he can hear above [him] on the autumnal blast / The cataract of Death far thundering from the heights.” Both these poems stand as monuments of regret.

2008 AP English Literature Scoring Guide

Question #2: Anita Desai’s Fasting, Feasting

General Directions: This scoring guide will be useful for most of the essays that you read, but in problematic cases, please consult your table leader. The score that you assign should reflect your judgment of the quality of the essay as a whole --its content, its style, its mechanics. Reward the writers for what they do well. The score of an exceptionally well-written essay may be raised by one point above the otherwise appropriate score. In no case may a poorly written essay be scored higher than a three (3).

|9-8 |These essays offer a persuasive analysis of how the author uses literary devices to characterize Arun's experience as an exchange student. The |

| |essays make a strong case for an interpretation of the passage. They explore possibilities of character and situation; consider techniques such as|

| |point of view, selection of detail, syntax, characterization, diction and tone; and engage the text through apt and specific references. Although|

| |these essays may not be error-free, their perceptive analysis is apparent in writing that is clear, precise and effectively organized. Generally, |

| |essays scored a nine (9) reveal more sophisticated analysis and more effective control of language than do essays score an eight (8). |

|7-6 |These essays offer a reasonable analysis of how the author uses literary devices to characterize Arun’s experience. They reveal a sustained, |

| |competent reading of the passage, with attention to devices such as point of view, selection of detail, syntax, characterization, diction, and |

| |tone. Although these essays may not be error-free and may be less perceptive or less convincing that 9-8 essays, their ideas are presented with |

| |clarity and control and refer to the text for support. Generally, essays scored a seven (7) present better developed analysis and more consistent|

| |command of the elements of effective composition than do essays scores a six (6). |

|5 |These essays respond to the assigned task with a plausible reading of the passage, but tend to be superficial or undeveloped in their treatment of|

| |how the author uses literary techniques to characterize Arum’s experience. While exhibiting some analysis of the passage, implicit or explicit, |

| |the discussion of how literary devices contribute to Arun’s experience may be slight, and support form the passage may be think or tend toward |

| |paraphrase. While these essays demonstrate adequate control of language, they maybe marred by surface errors. Generally, essays scored a five (5)|

| |lack the more effective organization and the more sustained development characteristic of 7-6 papers. |

|4-3 |These essays offer a less than thorough understanding of the task or a less than adequate treatment of how the author uses literary devices to |

| |characterize Arun’s experience. Often relying on plot summary or paraphrase, then may fail to articulate a convincing basis for understanding |

| |situation and character, or they may misread the passage. These papers may be characterized by an unfocused or repetitive presentation of ideas, |

| |an absence of textual support, or an accumulation of errors. Generally, essays scored a four (4) exhibit better control over the elements of |

| |composition than those scored a three (3). |

|2-1 |These essays compound the weaknesses of the papers in the 4-3 range. They may persistently misread the passage or be unacceptably brief. They may|

| |contain pervasive errors that interfere with understanding. Although some attempt has been made to respond to the prompt, the ideas are presented|

| |with little clarity, organization, or support from the passage. Essays that are especially inept or incoherent are scores a one (1). |

|0 |These essays give a response with no more than a reference to the task. These essays are either left blank or are completely off-topic. |

|— |These essays are either left blank or are completely off-topic. |

Question #2: Anita Desai’s Fasting, Feasting

Sample Essays

Sample L

Life is a curious thing. It offers an abundance of experiences and opportunities, yet each individual has a different perspective. In Anita Desai’s Fasting, Feasting, the exchange student from India, Arun, is perplexed by the tradition his American family is determined to keep of going to the beach. His adventure is described by the detailed imagery, light humor, and abrupt syntax to create a comical situation. Figurative language adds a new level of excitement to the story.

The scene comes to life as Arun notes Melanie is “dressed in her bathing suit with a big shirt drawn over shoulders.” The employment o f these minute details make the story believable, even relatable. The imagery of Mrs. Patton’s “radiant, lipsticked smile” connotes a confident and all-American mother who is eagerly awaiting the beach. However, while he is anticipating the event, Arun “finds the hair on the back of his neck begin to prickle." The palms of his hands ore becoming puffy and damp.” This imagery cannot be mistaken of anything but extremes nervousness and a fear for the unknown.

Desai also uses humor to characterize this infamous trek to the beach. Although the weekends normally marked by the welcoming absence of school or a job,” Arun cannot plead work” to his chagrin. He even begin frantically grasping for “excurses” to not go. On the heels of enthusiastic Mrs. Patton, both Melanie and Arun “try to lag behind her.” Unfortunately and comically, Melanie “can lag even better” than Arun who prefers the town’s “post office” to the “grasses stirring with insidious life” in the paths to the beach...

The sparse and concise sentences create an uncomfortable atmosphere of the unknown, for this is exactly how Arun feels. The statement, “It is Saturday.” Shows Arun’s dejection over the fact that he must do something as pleasurable as going to the beach. Similar syntax follows through the rest of the passage, such as :IT is an awkward problem,” or “But there are not birds to be see, not animals. : Although the reader gets a senses of detachment while reading the passage, it is necessary to experience the same emotions and thought process of Arun. This type of stream-of-consciousness writing allows for figurative language, which otherwise might sound too flowery or out of place.

The similes and metaphors describe Arun’s trepidant journey as he experiences the wide life around him. The cicadas sound as if “the sun is playing on their sinews” as if they were small harps suspended in the trees.” This beautiful and dream-like musical quality frightens Arun. He is absolutely beyond his comfort level.

His entire journey is characterized through the use of images, with, economical sentences, and beautiful metaphors. Ata deeper level, Arun experiences American with his foreign n perspective form India.

Sample Y

This passage describes a tip to the beach. When using my literary devices to analyze this paper I would have to say that the authors ideas are not very organized. I think she did a great job detailing her ideas but not organizing the. The organization of the paper is right on. She writes in the chronological order of how the day took place. I believe that the voice could have been a lot stronger. In m opinion, the authors word choice was excellent! The paper was also very fluent.

From what the author writes I get the feeling that Arun does not like where they live or the beach. It think he would much rather live in the city.

Sample I

In the excerpt from Anita Desai’s Fasting, Feasting the exchange student Arun is unsettled and troubled by the novel experience of going to the beach. Literary techniques, like point of view, reveal Arun’s angst in exploring the outside realm of nature with his host family. His sense of uncomfortable disorientation heightens as he struggles to reconcile American customs with the vast expanse of an out-of town experience.

The passage adopts a third-person limited viewpoint which fluctuates at points to reveal Arun’s nervousness and position of awkwardness. The simple diction of the first paragraph immediately reveals that Arun is out of place. He “cannot plead work” as she could back in India, because it is a weekend and thus, the eternal conflict manifests itself. The poor exchange student has yet to acclimate himself with his America family. Negative connotations in the first paragraph are rife, from “despondent” to “wildly,” Arun frantically attempts to “find excuses,” amplifying his desire not to leave home.

The repetition of “no” reveals the emphatic nature of Mrs. Patton. Her ultimatum progresses the plot onwards toward the beach.

As they prepare the supplies and set off, Mrs. Patton exudes an almost comical air of ebullience. The vivid imagery of her “animated prance galvanizing her dwindled shanks” offers some comic relief to this uncomfortable situation. Key adverbs, like “silently,” indicate the tension and are still festering within Arun. The Indian student’s discomfort is heightened at his confusion about how to avoid being “close together” to Melanie. These subtle actions indicate a nervous tension between the two characters, a tension that traces its roots back to Indian customs of propriety. The rhetorical question, “But who is to follow whom,” shifts the perspective to that of Arun. He admits that it is an awkward problem, a “and his overburdened conscience debates whether he should help “carry those baskets” to preclude the awkwardness of walking with Melanie.

As the group continues on, the contrast drawn between Mrs. Patton and Arun becomes obvious. As she goes “confidently forwards” and begins singing, Arun, juxtaposed with her natural actions, appears even more out of place. Approaching the woods, the group is greeted by a vast array of imagery. The visual imagery of “soft pine needles,: combined with the auditory “thrumming” of cicadas and “bird shrieks” clashes with Arun’s concept of tranquility. Paradoxically, this cacophony of sounds has no roots, as “no birds” are “to be seen, nor animals.”

Arun is overwhelmed by these present circumstances. Tactile imagery reveals that Arun’s “hair on the back of his neck” begins to prickle and his palms become “puffy and damp.” Arun is disoriented by this experience, and the fear is heightened when he raises a rhetorical question; “Why must people live in the vicinity of such benighted wilderness and become a part of it?” The perspective once again shifts to that of first-person, portraying Arun’s reasoning and preference. He feels at home in town and enjoys its quaint offerings, like “its post office” and “its shops.” The author then contrasts the homely image with a metaphor of the untamed wilderness, an alliterative “creeping curtain of insidious green.” The deadly diction of “insidious,” “poisonous,” and “pale” reveal indirectly that Arun is thoroughly not enjoying this experience. Rather than relaxing, he has been dislocated from a place of comfort and forced to enjoy the pernicious wilderness.

Sample P

In the passage taken from Fasting, Feasting, by Anita Desai, Desai uses literary devices such as speech and point of view to characterize Arun’s experience in a negative way.

The speech Desai uses in the passage contains many negative words to describe the woods and the creatures in them, such as, “shrill” and “shrieks hoarsely,” and “creeping curtain of insidious green.” The speech used in the passage gives the reader the idea that Arun does not want to go to the beach and that he has a negative attitude towards the forest that the travel through to get to the beach.

Right away, it is apparent that Arun does not wish to go to the beach because he “cannot plead work,” and he “starts wildly to find excuses. “ After Ms. Paton insists on Arun going, it is implied that Arun is forced to accompany them to the beach when he “must go back upstairs and collect his towel and swimming trunks.”

When Mrs. Patton, Melanie and Arun leave to go to the beach, the tone of the passage continues to be negative. When Melanie and Arun “follow silently” and “try to find a way to walk that will not compel them to be side by side or in any way close together,” the reader gets the idea that the two do not want anything to do with each other. The speech used in the passage continues to be pesamistic throughout the passage when the three are traveling through the forest. Descriptions of the animals in the forest such as, “A bird shrieks hoarsely,” and “that ugly, jarring note,” indicate an unpleasant atmosphere in the forest.

Towards the end of the passage, the tone and speech become more nervous and fearful. Arun is “sweating” and his palms become “puffy and damp.” This shows that his experience in the woods is scary and shows his fear of the forest.

The passage is written in a third person point of view. This point of view gives the reader and outsiders opinion and view of Arun and his experience in the forest.

The speech and point of view of the passage create a negative and pesamistic view of Arun’s experience of going to the beach.

Sample II

In the excerpt from Fasting, Feasting by Anita Desai, the writer uses a variety of techniques to detail Arun’s inner emotions and sentiments regarding his experience. Through the use of alternating diction, speech, and point of view, the author aptly expresses to the audience Arun’s perception of the events. Due to the newness of the situation, Arun’s uneasy air does not shock the audience; however, the characterization of such uncomfortableness through Desai’s words allows the reader a deeper understanding of the character.

In the first paragraph, the matter-of-fact type diction allows the reader to quickly establish the setting of the passage. By claiming that “Arun cannot plead work,” Desai already shows the character as unwilling to participate in the activity; he is trying to find an exit strategy. However, as the text progresses, the diction becomes more expressive and imagery becomes a key component in the text. Mrs. Patton’s animated, prance [that] galvanizes her dwindled shanks” shows the reader the excitement that the American family feels: an emotion that is intensified by Arun’s obvious indifference and awkwardness. The two children follow “silently,” making an uneasy trek to the beach. However, in the last paragraph the diction once again becomes more intense. The heavy visual and auditory imagery that the author uses aids the reader in connecting with Arun’s deeper emotions. Beyond his outward uncomfortableness, the “thrumming of cicadas: in the “benighted wilderness: creates a more permanent unsettled feeling in Arun. The repetition of the word, “insidious” its uses as a contrast to the buildings in the town also serve to highlight Arun’s deeper emotion of disgust or outright disbelief of the situation.

Similarly, by creating some sort of dialogue in the passage. Desai allows the reader to easily characterizes the American Family and, thus, contrast it with Arun. At the beginning of the text, when Arun is trying to decline going to the beach, Mrs. Patton’s dialogue serves as blatant establishment of her role in the plot. As a host, she assumes her duty is to entertain, a task she sees as essential to Arun’s comfort. Ironically, however, Arun’s discomfort expands exponentially by repeated refusal (“No, no, no . . . oh, no.”) to accept Arun’s excuses. Later in the text when Arun hears Mrs. Patton singing the lyrics to “Summertime,” the words also serve to point out irony within Anita Desai’s text. By belting that “the living is eeh-zee . . . ,” Mrs. Patton is established as a character whose oblivion allows her to maintain bliss. Despite Arun’s obvious discomfort, the American host falsely perceived his denials as shyness, a polite gesture because he wished not to disturb them. Ironically, the living for Arun is not easy at all. Indeed in the final paragraph, he shows the audience his true emotions regarding the situation.

Throughout most of the text the point of view is third person limited, the author merely comments on the situation, allowing the audience to draw a conclusion or infer the deeper themes of the text. However, in the concluding paragraphs the point of view becomes third-person omniscient giving the reader an in-depth view of Arun's thought process. In line 46, the author asks a rhetorical question, a technique that represents Arun's thoughts on the issue. Because he is “sweating” and his hands are “puffy and damp." the audience concludes that Arun is becoming increasingly unsettled, in yet the following rhetorical question actually allows the reader to pinpoint his unease, and the following sentences expound upon his beliefs.

Although the passage begins as a lighthearted account of a summertime event, the author uses several rhetorical strategies to quickly transform the text. Through the development of her diction Desai is able to show the various increasing levels of Arun’s unease, a feeling that culminates in a more heightened sense of disdain. The author also uses speech to characterize the American family, which serves as a foil to Arun, and to express irony. By shifting perception at the conclusion of the passage the author also summarizes the unease and helps the reader to gain deeper insight into the character’s mind.

Sample GGG

Arun, an exchange student from India, obviously has gone through something to cause him to be extremely awkward with the daughter of his host family and would much rather stay at home than go treks sing through wildlife for a swim. The author, who narrates this in third person but knows the thoughts that are going through Arun’s head, uses imagery, irony and metaphors to explain Arun’s trip through the woods that he thoroughly hates.

When Arun is told to go along with Melanie and Mrs. Patton for a swim, they have to make their way through some woods. There is a lot of sound imagery- the shrilling of the cicadas and the shrieking of the birds. There is also imagery of houses with little gnome statues and washing lines nearby that the birds are fleeing from. Imagining him walking through all this adds to the reader’s understanding of Arun’s experience. Although the reader may actually enjoy wildlife experiences walking on old soft pine needles vicariously will help the reader understand why Arun’s neck hair is prickling and his palms are sweating in fear.

The metaphors that compare the birds to other things adds to the imagery. The cicadas are described as “small harps suspended on trees.” Harps are supposed to be very elegant instruments, so the fact that Arun is so fearful of them is quite comical. In contrast, the shrieks of birds are described as an “ugly jarring note that does not vary” which automatically puts an unpleasant noise in the reader’s mind.

Arun’s fear of the wildlife in the woods seems quite ironic because more than he is afraid of them, the birds should be afraid of him. In fact, the houses and laundry lines encroaching on the birds’ habitats probably cause them to fear humans, which gives Arun no reason to fear them. However, reading about all of Arun’s symptoms of fear just emphasizes his fear of such “benighted wilderness” by that much. This would all be a cultural difference, since he is from India and probably used to a completely different lifestyle.

The author’s description of the noises and visuals of the woods that Arun had to walk through allows us to experience his apparent uncomfortableness and uneasiness with him. The thought of unpleasant bird noises makes it easier for the reader to understand Arun’s puffy and damp hands, as if we were right next to him.

Sample J

In this excerpt from Fasting, Feasting, Anita Desai depicts an uncomfortable afternoon experience of the Indian exchange student Arun as he is forced to spend the day with his American host family. From the beginning, Desai creates an uneasy atmosphere through her use of short, to the point sentences. She opens with “It is Saturday. Arun cannot plead work.” These matter-of-fact sentences show that Arun is in an uncomfortable situation with people he does not enjoy spending time with. In addition to varied syntax, Desai uses third-person limited point of view, limited speech, and vivid imagery to characterize Arun’s experience.

The limitation of speech in this passage portrays the relationship Arun has with his host family. Arun has been raised with Indian cultural values, which are juxtaposed with the seemingly disrespectful mode of oppperation in the Patton family. Arun obviously does not want to spend the day at the beach, but when he tries to find excuses, only Mrs. Patton speaks, saying “No, no, no . . .”Rod and Daddy have gone sailing on Lake Wyola and we’re not going to sit here and wait for them to come home -- oh, no.” Mrs. Patton shows no regard for Arun’s opinions, and he is too polite to refuse to go. Mrs. Patton’s self-indulgent behavior is also revealed by her walking ahead, singing “Summertime,” as Arun lugs her beach equipment behind her.

The third-person limited point of view further illustrates Arun’s uncomfortable experience with the women of the Patton family. Though none of the two women’s thoughts are completely revealed, the reader has an insight into their feelings towards Arun through his thoughts and actions. When walking to the beach Arun and Melanie try not to walk close together, showing that Melanie must now have much more respect for Arun than Mrs. Patton does.

To add to the awkward, uncomfortable atmosphere, Desai employs vivid images of Arun’s surroundings and feelings. Arun sees things that seem like city-home components, such as washing lines and “a plastic gnome, finger to nose, enigmatically winking,” thrown in, out of place, with the surrounding woods. In addition to this surreal visual image, the reader is then given the tactile image of when Arun feels his “neck begin to prickle,” and when he sweats and his palms become “puffy and damp.” All of these images create a sense of uneasiness in the reader to help relate to how Arun is feeling.

Anita Desai uses third-person point of view, limited speech, and detailed imagery to characterize Arun’s uncomfortable day with an American family. The tone of the passage remains uneasy throughout, ending with Arun stumbling, having “to steady himself so as not to sill the contents of the basket,” creating a final sense of frustration in the reader.

Sample W

Arun is an exchange student from India, and embarks on a journey to the beach with his American host family. The point of view is in the 3rd person but mainly focuses on the character Arun. Questions, perspective, and comments of Arun are displayed throughout the passage.

He’s going on a trip to the beach, but is reluctant to do so, “Starts wildly to find excuses." Being an exchange student, Arun is probably nervous and unsure of the area around him. He asks “Why must people live in the vicinity of such benighted wilderness and becomes part of it,” as he walks through the hot forest. Perhaps questioning himself what he’s doing there. A metaphor is given in the final line “Nearly tripping on a root, he stumbles and has to steady himself so as not to spill the contents of the basket." meaning keep your comments to yourself. It won’t look good to start criticizing the people you are around. He must withhold himself less he spills the beans that he doesn’t like the situation.

Arun however does enjoy some aspects of his new surrounding like the post offices, shopping mall. This shows that different isn’t always bad, it’s just different. Being an exchange student allows Arun to experience a different culture and learn from it.

Sample CC

In the passage, such devices as point of view and speech are seen to describe Arun’s experience with his new American family.

It is suggested that Arun is narrating the story but as if he were looking at himself and describing what he was feeling at that moment. It was a narration of how he was felling in third person. This helped look deep within to how he was feeling at that exact moment as they were walking to the beach. When the hairs in the back of his head “begin to prickle” it shows that he was the one narrating because no one else would’ve known that but him. Even though he seems to be going along with the family plans, his point of view kicks in.

His disgust towards the whole trip is seen when he asks why people live that way. His true feelings are exposed as well as his hypocrisy.

The speech of the poem is that of a regular conversation because it takes you back and forth through Arun’s Thoughts. It is as though he were rambling on because after he expresses his true feelings about the trip, he randomly talks about how in tripped on a root.

The use of speech and pint of view shows how Arun really feels about what is going on with his American family. The characterization of his experience is well understood and noticeable as well as the random shifts in time through this beach experience.

Sample PP

The author use’s third person point of view as if someone else was viewing what Arun was doing. He use’s simile, metaphores, to describe Arun’s day at the beach.

Sample JJJJ

If we imagine this passage from Fasting, Feasting as a scene in a movie, it seems perfectly pleasant – a sweet, if somewhat garish, American mom taking her daughter and a guest down a forest trail to the beach. Yet from Arun’s limited omniscient point of view, every detail of the Patton’s lives and habitat is hostile and offensive. With subtle sarcastic stabs at American habits and concrete criticism of the landscape, Desai’s narrative transforms the scene into a pointedly derisive satire.

On the most concrete level, the scene is set up as a negative experience. The opening sentences – “Arun cannot plead work; he is despondent . . . “– paint Arun as the victim of a deceptively innocent prison. His victimization continues in the second paragraph, where Mrs. Patton uses the words “no” or “”not” nine times – an amusing nod to the perceived American obsession with emphasis and repetition, as if it clarified anything. This also paints Mrs. Patton as unnecessarily assertive and impolite.

Desai’s diction also lends to the feeling of imprisonment and discomfort. Her use of the present tense gives the text an uncomfortable immediacy for the reader – it is going on now; there is no mediating distance. Desai also uses very formal diction in her narrative, carefully distinguishing between “who” and “whom” [a dying practice amongst American authors and one which shall be sorely missed] and never contracting negative phrases like ‘will not” into “won’t.” Each sentence is a simple unit unto itself—a subject, a verb and two adjectives, the second subtly more critical than the first. This exacting technique wearies the reader and puts him on edge – an excellent way of communicating Arun’s feelings to the reader without describing them outright.

In the final paragraph, Desai moves in for the kill, shifting to the outright criticism of the environment (a vehicle for Aurn’s mounting discomfort). The woods are filled with “shrilling” cicadas and “shrieking, jarring birds that make deafening noise but cannot be seen. The houses, too, are “intrusive” -- Desai describes with obvious contempt their tacky laundry lines and garden gnomes. After mentally railing against this “insidious” landscape, Arun trips – or is tripped – by a tree root which the reader, by now insensed by the offensive landscape, may well feel personally angry with. Desai’s subtle and highly symbolic depiction of a nightmarish afternoon out certainly transforms the reader’s vision of America.

AP English Literature and Composition

2008 Free Response/Question 2

Sample Scores with commentary by Idris Anderson, Question Leader

Sample I 9

Stunning! Readers will have much to admire here, both in the writing and the analysis. And it really understands Arun’s experience and explores all the details and feats of language that construct it.

Sample II 8

Excellent analysis. Insight after insight, including the irony. Especially nice to read the passage as a t first “lighthearted,” but then to see “the author uses rhetorical strategies to quickly transform the text.” The essay occasionally falters in its vocabulary usage (“Mrs. Patton’s oblivion”) and goes on with generalizations where some details would have helped. But to read the passage and produce this in 40 minutes!

Sample J 7

This paper may look at first as though it’s just going thorough the motions, reading chronologically and dropping in some insights along the way, but the paragraphs on the second page become stronger commentary with some good analytical insight into how Desai is using point of view and images to construct Arun’s experience. The student knows how to “label” his/her observations (ref to “this surreal visual image” of the various objects seen in the woods).

Sample L 6

This essay is better in the beginning. Some good observations but now always in response to the prompt. It’s well-organized, and the student has learned how to embed quotations into commentary. The analysis would need to be stronger for a higher score but this is enough to merit a low upper half score. Emphasizes the comic perhaps too much but at least hears it in the language.

Sample GGG 5

Some inklings of insight here but nothing is really developed Goes on and on about the birds, characterizing their experience rather than Arun’s! Starts well but fizzles. More promise than delivery.

Sample P 4

This is the “negative attitude” essay. It cites passages well but continues to beat the same old drum. The little analysis here is so unsophisticated that it merits no more than a 4.

Sample W 3

Deceptive because of all the quotations, but once you remove those; there is little insight, though there is some, enough for a 3.

Sample CC 2

Some attempt to respond to the prompt, but brief, poorly written. It’s amazing how this student manages to write so many words and say so little. And “hypocrisy” is a radical misreading of Arun.

Sample Y 1

A good reminder to readers that a student can fill a page and say nothing, or very, very little.

Sample PP 0

A good reminder that “no more than a reference to the text” may include some spare notations, but compare this 0 to the 1 above.

Sample B 2

This student will never put even a toe into the water; there is every attempt to avoid saying what s/he thinks Arun’s experience was, except perhaps that it was “genuine,” whatever that means. The student remarkably spins out sentences with references to sophisticated thinks like rhythm, point of view, speech, symbol, present tense. (Beware of name-dropping). But there is no basic reading here and the writing is empty. Look out for the long 2. I guess there’s enough here for a 2, though I’m becoming unconvinced. Table leaders gave about equal numbers of 1’s, 2's and 3's; it also drew more than a few 4's and 5's! Oh, dear.

Sample HH 4

This is a good, solid 4. Dutifully, there is a paragraph on point of view and another on dialogue/speech with some good basic insights. It is an essay that is developing competence but in its level of reading and writing has not moved to the next step.

Sample JJJJ 8

A lucky, alert reader found this essay in a live book.

Definitely a thinking student created this essay. Yes, saying the passage is a satire is a stretch, but the student recognizes satiric elements and understands what the text is saying (mocking) about American culture.

Question 2 student observations I liked:

--Anita Desai uses negative language that connotes discomfort as well as an emphasis on the human corruption of nature to convey Arun’s sense of isolation. Arun’s self is obstructed by his obligation for propriety in a foreign land. Surrounding Arun with alien ideas, Desai parallels his isolation to the new environment. Diction such as “shrill,” “creeping,” “insidious,” and “poisonous” connote images of terror, pain, and death. The image of animals fleeing and shrieking in terror, attempting to escape their environment, parallels Arun’s own feelings of being lost within his exchange family. Acting out of politeness rather than self-identity, Arun, like the wilderness, has been cast out of his true element.

-Desai begins with loose, short sentences: It is Saturday, Arun cannot plead work. Mrs. Patton will not hear them. No, she will not, absolutely not.” These statements establish Desai’s dedication to his work and also serve as markers before Desai begins to describe the understanding of American ideas—flat and coldly conveying a simplified set of ideas.

--Desai’s spare dialogue emphasizes the unspoken nature of these frequent day-to-day battles over trivial mattes….the constant contrast between Arun’s thoughts and the natural world he encounters emphasizes the confusion he feels, a contrast with Mrs. Patton’s effusive singing.

--Arun’s observations and quiet neurosis…In Arun’s mind, a walk through a patch of wilderness becomes a laborious and insurmountable task… the enigmatic wink of a garden gnome prompts him to question why people insist on inhabiting and melding with nature…In constant contrast with Arun’s inner conflict is the lighthearted spirit of Mrs. Patton, whose speech is included to highlight Arun’s own antisocial behavior.

--Desai portrays Arun’s lack of connection with his host family through the dialogue of her characters. His hostess Mrs. Patton demonstrates unbridled enthusiasm for the outdoors, revealing itself in her singing exclamation that it is “Summertime…and the living is eeeasy.” Arun’s experience in the summertime is quite different from hers, as the “back of his neck began to prickle” and he dislikes “this creeping curtain of insidious green…. Desai reveals Arun’s distaste for summer through his gloomy perception, contrasting his hostess’s exclamation with his unspoken misery (3rd person limited omniscient point of view—actually indirect discourse)

2008 AP English Literature Scoring Guide

Question #3: Function of a Foil

General Directions: This scoring guide will be useful for most of the essays that you read, but in problematic cases, please consult your table leader. The score that you assign should reflect your judgment of the quality of the essay as a whole—its content, its style, its mechanics. Reward the writers for what they do well. The score for an exceptionally well-written essay may be raised by one point above the otherwise appropriate score. In no case may a poorly written essay be scored higher than a three (3).

|9-8 |These essays offer a well-focused and persuasive analysis of how a foil or minor character emphasizes, by contrast or comparison, the |

| |distinctive characteristics and qualities of a main character. Using apt and specific textual support, these essays fully explore that |

| |relationship and demonstrate what it contributes to the meaning of the work as a whole. Although not without flaws, these essays make a strong |

| |case for their interpretation and discuss the literary work with significant insight and understanding. Generally, essays scored a nine (9) |

| |reveal more sophisticated analysis and more effective control of language than do essays scored an eight (8). |

|7-6 |These essays offer a reasonable analysis of how a foil emphasizes, by contrast or comparison, the distinctive characteristics and qualities of a|

| |main character. They explore that relationship and demonstrate what it contributes to the meaning of the work as a whole. These essays show |

| |insight and understanding, but the analysis is less thorough, less perceptive, and/or less specific in supporting detail than that of the 9-8 |

| |essays. Generally, essays scored a seven (7) present better developed analysis and ore consistent command of the elements of effective |

| |composition than do essays scored a six. (6) |

|5 |These essays respond to the assigned task with a plausible reading, but they tend to be superficial or underdeveloped in analysis. They often |

| |rely upon plot summary that contains some analysis, implicit or explicit. Although the writers attempt to discuss how the foil illuminates the |

| |distinctive characteristics and qualities of a main character and how the relationship contributes to the work as a whole, they may demonstrate |

| |a rather simplistic understanding of the work. Typically, these essays reveal unsophisticated thinking and/or immature writing. The essays |

| |demonstrate adequate control of language, but they may lack effective organization and may be marred by surface errors. |

|4-3 |These lower-half essays offer a less than thorough understanding of the task or a less than adequate treatment of it. They reflect an |

| |incomplete or over simplified understanding of the work, or they may fail to establish the relationship between the foil and a main character. |

| |They may not address or develop a response to how that relationship contributes to the work as a whole, or they may rely on plot summary alone. |

| |Their assertions may be unsupported or even irrelevant. Often wordy, elliptical, or repetitious, these essays may lack control over the |

| |elements of college-level composition. Essays scored a three (3) may contain significant misreading an demonstrate inept writing. |

|2-1 |Although these essays make some attempt to respond to the prompt, they compound the weaknesses of the papers in the 4-3 range. Often, they are |

| |unacceptably brief or are incoherent in presenting ideas. They may be poorly written on several counts and contain distracting errors in |

| |grammar and mechanics. The writer’s remarks are presented with little clarity, organization, or supporting evidence. Particularly inept. |

| |Vacuous, and/or incoherent essays must be scored a one (1). |

|0 |These essays give a response with no more than a reference to the task. |

|— |These essays are either left blank or are completely off-topic. |

Question #3: Function of a Foil

Sample Essays

Sample V

Jane Austin’s novel Pride and Prejudice contains two foils to the main character, Elizabeth Bennet, that emphasize both the positive and negative traits she possesses. Younger sister Lydia, with her foolishness and dependence, highlights Elizabeth’s strong-will and independence, while her older sister Jane, with her sweet and unjudgemental disposition, reveal’s her pettiness and pride. Both characters serve as assistants to help the reader understand the main character more fully.

Lydia, the youngest of the Bennet daughters, is a silly, irrational, and flirty fifteen year old. A stark contrast to collected and reasonable Elizabeth, Lydia constantly gallivants at parties with officers, eventually running away with caddish Mr. Wickem. The fact that Lydia often forgets to use her intelligence when speaking or choosing a course of action highlights Elizabeth’s rationality and common sense. Jane Austin intended for Lydia to be a foil to her older sister in order to emphasize Elizabeth’s positive attributes.

However, the oldest Bennet, Jane, serves as the foil to Elizabeth who spotlights the faults within her character. Jane is the very essence of kindness and openmindedness throughout the novel, while Elizabeth often comes accross as judgemental and proud. Elizabeth tends to immediately focus on the negative qualities of those she comes into contact with instead of praising the goodness in people like Jane. The proud side of “Lizzie” becomes evident when she becomes extremely offended by the slightest remark or gesture, while Jane rarely became angry on ruffled throughout the novel. The purpose of Jane in Pride and Prejudice is to make the reader realize that Elizabeth’s character contains faults.

Foils, such as Lydia and Jane, are clever ways in which an author can demonstrate the true nature of a main character, such as Elizabeth, without blatantly stating his or her qualities. Austin included Lydia and Jane, with personalities radically different from Elizabeth’s in order to highlight the main character’s attributes and faults.

Sample X

In the Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, the character Huang Taitai serves as a foil for main character Lindo Jong. Huang’s personality emphasizes Lindo’s qualities by contrast. The distinct relationship between the two aids to illuminate the meaning of the literary work. In reaction to Huang’s actions, Lindo reveals who she is and finds her inner, at first unknown, strength.

Lindo Jong finds herself engaged to Tyan-yu, son of Huang, when a flood in their village destroys Lindo’s home. Lindo must separate from her family, but promises she will behave and not destroy the family’s reputation. But Lindo soon finds out this arrangement is not as easy as she thought it would be because Huang does not seem to be in her favor. Huang treats Lindo as if she were an ordinary servant, forcing her to do menial tasks such as cooking all the meals and cleaning the house. But through these endless tasks, Lindo builds her character. She learns to do things with dexterity and perfection. She can smell if something she cooked was too salty without tasting it, and could sew so well, it looked as if the designs were painted on. Lindo learned to pride herself in these accomplishments because they were all she had. Lindo received no love or appreciation from her soon to be mother in law and husband. Tyan-yu did whatever he could to upset her and Huang criticized everything she did and thought Lindo was not good enough for the family. Due to the treatment Lindo received on a daily basis, Huang was able to brainwash Lindo into thinking she had a good life here, and that she owed everything she had to Huang, and in turn had to do all that she wanted.

But later on, Lindo recognizes what Huang had done to her on her wedding day. Huang had taken away Lindo’s spirit and mentality of her self worth, and replaced it with what Huang wanted. As Lindo looked into the mirror before she got married, she once again felt empowered. She decided she would get out of the marriage, without bringing shame unto her family. When a servant performed a night long ritual of watching a burning candle last all night to represent the never ending marriage between Lindo and Tyan-yu, Lindo looked on because she couldn’t sleep. She hated Tyan-yu and Haung and wished the candle would be blown out by the wind. When this actually happened is he realized her power and was even more determined to escape the belittling marriage. And so Lindo cleverly came up with a plan about how if the marriage continued, Tyan-Yu’s grandparents would kill him because the marriage was not meant to be. When she told Huang her story, she persuaded the whole family it was true. Then Huang let Lindo leave with her pride, and a unknown but new future ahead of her.

All the actions in the relationship between Huang and Lindo illuminated the meaning of The Joy Luck Club. The book is all about the strength of individuals knowing self worth, and being true to yourself. Because of Huangs treatment to Lindo, she found the power within herself to not just accept this forced marriage, and do something to change it. It shows that everyone has a say in what his or her future is, and that not standing up for yourself is just quietly giving up. By coming up with the ingenious plan, Lindo stayed true to herself, by doing what she thought was best for herself and would make her happy. But by leaving in a seemingly respectful and truthful way to Huang, Lindo proved to be still obedient to her parents wishes and orders, which she held in high esteem. The Huangs could not therefore curse and lookdown upon Lindo’s family, because Lindo was a good daughter in law and wife. Lindo in the end, realized her self worth. During her days in Huangs house, she was taught to think of herself as nothing, but soon formed her new ideology in knowing her worth. She said that “everyear I buy myself 24 carat gold bracelets because I know what I am worth.” She learned to respect herself and therefore illustrated the themes and meaning of the book.

Amy Tan’s book the Joy Luck Club wisely uses the minor character of Huang Taitai to act as a foil to Lindo Jung. Huangs relationship with Lindo emphasized Lindo’s qualities and strengths she did not even acknowledge she had possessed. The dinstinct relationship between these two characters serves to greatly illuminate the meanings of the book. Huang Taitai helped to highlight and emphasize all of Lindo’s good qualities.

Sample A

In Frankenstein, the monster was Victor’s foil. The monster did both, he hilighted his strengths as well as showed his weaknesses.

When the monster’s life was created it showed Victor’s brilliance in the science laboratory. With the creation of the monster, Victor became scared and ran away to start a new life without completeing the past.

Sample CCC

Jane Austen’s Emma is initially described as “clever, handsome, and rich,” but her faults are evident through her actions. She is self-assured as she thinks she set up Miss Tayler into her marriage. When she tries to set up Harriet she repeatedly fails. Harriet’s character is almost the complete opposite of Emma’s. As a foil character her traits contrast wonderfully with Emma’s even evolving as Emma does. While Emma think she is helping Harriet by being her friend, the reader realizes that the friendship is only for her own amusement.

Harriet is introduced as a girl without family who is poor, and owns a dull wit. Emma’s family is everything to her, she is praised for her cleverness, and perfectly capable of living off of her own inheritance. What Emma lacks is Harriet’s good tempered will and nicety. While she finds Harriet a nice girl without social ambitions, her identity is fluid. Emma molds her into the monster of her own creation and she is repulsed by what she sees in herself. When Mr. Martin asks Harriet to wed Harriet is delighted. Of course, Emma’s thoughts on marriage and society would never allow for this marriage. Her own hypocrises and society’s mean edge are expressed in Mr. Elton who seems glamourous and fine, but treats women as a dowry. Harriet values character in her husband, the Martins offer her a family and a home, Emma’s evils are the only thing that stop Harriet’s happiness. Harriet is a nice girl who takes care of her old school teacher. Emma, blessed as she is, insults the poor Mrs. Bates and refuses to give a warm welcome to Jane Fairfax. Harriet is a girl alien to Emma’s ways, the infiltration of social climbing into her life brings out the worst in her.

Having been brought up without money and with a poor education, Harriet is unprepared for Emma’s acts. The two men whom Harriet goes after while intoxicated with the social ladder each want on an attribute which Harriet can never obtain. Mr. Elton makes it clear that he wanted to marry money. Mrs. Elton is a much worse wife than Harriet would have been, but he seems to pay no notice. Harriet’s chances of being born poor bring out Emma’s riches. She feels pity for Harriet and Mrs. Bates for being poor, and it speaks to the rigid roles of society which Emma thought she could bend and break. Harriet could never afford tutors and her stupidity is shown when she is confused by a simple riddle. Emma solves it quickly, but falls victim to her own fault of turning it into whatever suits her best. Harriet is molded by Emma, which ultimately must be reversed.

Emma learns in the end that her own composure is too rigid. Like Harriet, she must be able to change at the recommendation of her betters. Although she is fortunate to have money and wit, she learns from Harriet that she must have contentment with her situation. Her fears of losing her home or money are gone when she reforms and agrees to marry Mr. Knightley. She is ashamed of her outburst to Mrs. Bates during their outing. Blessed with fortune, everything Emma lacked was present in Harriet. Both girls go through changes that are necessary to their well-being. They end up where they belong within the social structure and both happy with their husbands and their lives.

Sample G

“For you, a thousand times over,” Hassan replies when Amir asks him to run his kite. Hassan loves Amir. Hassan has strength and bravery that Amir could not dream of. Amir only thinks of himself, while Hassan puts others first. In The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini uses the minor character of Hassan to show everything that Amir is not.

Hassan and Amir seem to be the best of friends. When faced with a choice, Hassan backs Amir one hundred percent. While Amir refuses to stand up against Assef for Hassan, Hassan will risk getting beat up to save Amir. Hosseini uses an early example of this to show how dedicated Hassan is to Amir, and by contrast how Amir is ashamed of Hassan. Hassan believes Amir no matter what. When Amir is cruel and tells Hassan incorrect meanings of words, Hassan trusts Amir’s words completely. Amir is cruel to Hassan to boost his own confidence, and Hassan does not even notice because he loves Amir so much. Finally, Hassan sacrifices himself for Amir. Assef rapes Hassan because he will not give up Amir’s kite. Amir contrasts Hassan because he sees this happening but does not try to stop it for fear of losing his prize.

Hassan proves his strength more the more Amir shows his weakness. He never tells about the rape. He is strong because he wants Amir to have what he wants, Baba’s love. Amir is weak, because he cannot bear to look at Hassan or apologize. Instead, he seeks punishment for atonement. He asks Hassan to hit him, but this plan backfires because Hassan takes the pomegranate and hits himself. Hassan’s strength directly contrasts Amir’s weakness. Amir thinks of himself first. He frames Hassan for stealing so he will get kicked out of his home and Amir won’t have to look at his guilt every day. Hassan still does not betray Amir. This final straw causes the reader to see Hassan as all good and Amir as all bad.

However, near the end of the book, Amir quests for atonement, and the foil changes sides. We see Amir’s change through comparison with Hassan. He becomes brave and fights Assef to save Hassan’s son and gets a harelip like Hassan. The harelip represents Amir beginning to sacrifice himself for Hassan and thus becoming more like him. Amir gains Hassan’s bravery, too. He faces things that scare him to death. His strength and bravery increase to closer to Hassan’s level. Finally, Amir adopts Sohrab, Hassan’s son, and reaches Hassan’s level of dedication. He runs a kite for Sohrab and tell him, “For you, a thousand times over.” This symbolizes the completion of his transformation into a Hassan-like servant.

Though the book begins using Hassan as a contrast to Amir, Amir’s transformation is shown through comparison to Hassan. Hassan had embodied the suffering servant, and Amir reached atonement for everything wrong he did to Hassan by becoming a suffering servant himself. The interesting comparison-contrast technique of these two foil characters effectively reveals Amir’s characterization from beginning to end. Though Hassan is a minor character according to his appearance in the novel, he is a huge force on Amir and on the reader throughout the moving story of two friends and one’s redemption.

Sample Z

In The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, all three brothers contribute to the downfall of their sister Caddy Campson. The relation between the minor character’s and the major character in this novel are signifigant.

All of the brothers in this novel are all important to the downfall of Caddy. When Caddy becomes pregnant at a young age and is married by the time she is 18, her brothers become furious. They used to be overprotective of their sisters but no longer are they. They all play an important role in Caddy’s life and she respect’s them for that. In The Sound and the Fury their are three long chapters. Each different one focusing in on a different brother. Caddy serves as the mother of the house when MaMa dies in the beginning of the novel. All of the brothers at young ages learn valuable lessons from their sister.

These are some ways in how minor characters contruble to the foil of the main character. This is evident in The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner.

Sample NN

The Color Purple highlights the life of Celie, as a young black girl, raised in an oppressive male society. With no mother, Celie’s father took complete control of her life, forcing her to even have sex with him. Celie continued to face male dominance and a lack of free will. However, through the help of female relationships, Celie finds her true self. Although he only appears in the first of the novel, Celie’s father’s actions impact the rest of her life. As Celie faces traumatic experience from the oppressive men, her close friends help her find meaning in life and reach self-actualization.

Before Celie can reach her full potential, she must complete the lower levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. However, the second level of needs of love and belonging cannot be met through her father. In her early teens, Celie’s father rapes her, leaving a lasting memory. With noone to turn to, Celie has no means of coping with her fears; therefore she believes she should sucuumb to a man’s demand. When Celie’s father forces her into a marriage, he merely wants to rid himself of the burden of having a daughter. Whenever Celie’s new husband orders her to cook or clean, she obliges. Therefore, she submits her free will and cannot reach self-actualization. As Celie encounters other women through the novel, they too believe in obeying their husband’s every command. Being oppressed by this, male dominance gives Celie no freedom to choose; furthermore, she lives a life dependent on the dominant males. Celie’s father’s one small action at the start of the novel dictates her actions through the first half of her life. Celie has no voice or opinion and feels that she has found her place in the world. Celie did not realize that she sacrificed her free will and cut herself short from her true potential.

Had Celie not found strength in her strong female bonds, she would have never reached self-actualization. When Celie meets Shug, her entire life changes. Shug was an independent woman whom no one could stop. Therefore, Shug teaches Celie how to be her self. When Celie first encounters Shug, she was singing Karaoke at a bar. Shug has a domineering personality who does not listen to any men. By helping Celie learn to say “no” to oppressive men, Shug ultimately leads her to her true self. Celie discovers her passion for making jeans. She can make jeans for every size and shape with unique designs of the customer’s choice. With Shugs love and affection, she inspires Celie to reach for her dreams. Rather than being constrained by men, Celie separates from the oppressive male figures in her life and declares herself independent of all others. When Celie establishes her own business for making jeans, she becomes completely economically independent. Since Shug gives Celie the love and sense of belonging that she needs, Celie can continue up maslow’s hierarchy. With Celie’s new sense of free will, she can identify her true self. The strong female bonds Celie develops allow her to reach self-actualization and establish her self-worth.

Although Celie’s father makes a brief appearance at the start of the novel, he attempts to affect Celie’s life. Serving as a foil, he represents every characteristic that Celie learns not to be. Therefore, with the help of her female friends, Celie finds her true identity. She learns to overcome the traumatic experiences of her adolescence and continues life with a new sense of hope. Shug provides the love and belonging Celie needs to complete Maslow’s hierarchy; therefore, she ultimately reaches self-actualization. Through this process,. Celie becomes independent from all dominant males and finds her true self.

Sample M

Obsession is a mysterious enemy. It lurks everywhere throughout the world, anticipating the precise moment when it can grasp someone’s innocence and hope. Once it grabs hold of a life, it tightens its grip and is determined to never let go. A victim of obsession falls to its overpowering strength and loses all sense of normal consciousness. He or she must have perpetual endurance to conquer this illness, but some never do. The unexplainable effects of obsession is a major theme in the novel Catch-22. The protagonist Yossarian is a victim to obsession. His fear of death is so intense and compelling that it dictates his life. One of his close friends McWatt possesses contrasting traits but, never-the-less, is always looking out for Yossarian. Through McWatt and Yossarian’s close friendship and varying characteristics, Catch-22 conveys the theme that obsession can take control of one’s life.

In this novel Yossarian is displayed as an intelligent, fearful man. He is obsessed with the fear of death but ironically does not outwardly express sympathy towards others’ fatality. This fear dominates Yossarian’s life and is the main basis for all his action. One of his closes friends McWatt, however, is characterized by contrasting traits. McWatt does not fear death but rather completes his duty of flying in the war with honor, excitement, and joy. These characteristics of McWatt emphasize Yossarian’s fear of death. At one instance in the novel, McWatt is operating the plane, flying extremely fast and low to the ground, simply for thrill and excitement. Yossarian is passenger on the plane at the time, and his obsession suddenly envelopes his personality and rational thinking. Yossarian becomes so frightened he threatens to murder McWatt, tightening his grip around McWatt’s neck. These characters contrasting personalities illuminates the theme of the novel that obsession can dictate one’s actions as well as one’s life.

The closeness of Yossarian and McWatt also displays the power of obsession. During the war McWatt’s caring heart causes him to commit suicide. Yossarian is present to witness McWatt’s death and is extremely affected by it. McWatt’s fatality is one instance in the book where Yossarian shows grief for somebody other than himself. Because Yossarian and McWatt shared such a close relationship, Yossarian’s obsession grew. He not only was affected by his fear of his death but the actual fatality of a friend.

These two characters shared a close relationship but were seemingly different people. Their choice of actions throughout the novel as well as their reactions to certain events emphasized the theme of the novel. Obsession is an illness which is fueled by many events and can consume one’s life entirely.

Sample D

The minor characters in a literary novel which are sometimes overlooked can often times play a large role in the book. They can do this by really in someway helping or even hurting the main charecter. Also the minor charecter can be the highlighter of many main charecters strengths and weaknesses. This is apparent in the novel Catcher in the Rye by J. D Salinger.

In this novel the main charecter Holden Caulfield goes through series of issues ranging from being thrown out of his school and his problems with drugs and alcohol. Through most of this he is alone but keeps mentioning his baby sister Pheobe who later really turns out to be Holdens confidont. Holden meets up with Pheobe finally when he is left with no where to go but sneek back into his parents house. This is where he reveals himself to Pheobe who immeadiatty trys to help Holden by offering him the money which she has.

A very significant scene in the novel is when Holden takes Pheobe into the park and she runs off to go ride the carosel. As Holden is sitting there watching Pheobe he wishes to himself that he could be able to save all the little children before they fall. This is where the title of the novel gets its significance from. Pheobe helps reveal despite Holdens issues he still has one great strength. Also when Holden decided not to take the money from Pheobe it portrayed Holden as a charecter with more morals then what the reader though he was at that point.

Minor charecters help shape the entire novel by revealing who the main charecter is. We see this in Catcher in the Rye when Pheobe shows Holden to be a kind a caring person.

Sample ZZ

In Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged, female railroad owner Dagny Taggart attempts to maintain her railways in the face of nationalization of industry, government coercion, economic collapse, and John Galt’s “strike of the mind.” Both Taggart and Galt understand that the creativity and Ingenuity of the thinkers and industrialists is what keeps society together. However, both Taggart and Galt differ significantly in their approaches. Taggart believes in a moral obligation to society and thus attempts to maintain her railways to keep society from collapsing. Galt, however, believes that each individual is an end to himself and that therefore the only obligation each person should have is to himself. Thus, John Galt acts as the philosophical foil to Dagny Taggart. Galt’s complete free-market approach to capitalism directly highlights Taggart’s belief in moral obligation and eventually drives Taggart to abandon her views and adopt Galt’s.

The enigmatic John Galt does not appear in the novel for the first two-thirds of it, but his presence is clearly felt. Throughout the novel, thinkers and industrialist mysteriously disappear as society becomes more coercive and collectivist. As the government nationalizes more industry and instills greater control, more industrialists disappear and without their guidance, society hastens toward collapse. It is later discovered that the industrialists are leaving because John Galt is convincing them to join his “strike of the mind.” Galt convinces them to drop their moral obligation to a society that chains them and steals from them. Taggart refuses to follow Galt, believing that she is morally obligated to uphold the society that initially made her successful. Galt counters by telling her, “For centuries, the battle of morality was fought between those who claimed that your life belongs to God and those who claimed your life belongs to your neighbors…and no one came to say that your life belongs to you and that the good is to live it.” When Taggart comments that it is her duty to curb the evil in the world, Galt rebuts that, “The evil of the word is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it.” Thus, by continuing to uphold a coercive society, Taggart is sanctioning its existence and allowing it to propagate. Galt tells Taggart that the only solution is to leave the coercive society that forces its control, thus sanctioning the worth of the individual, rejecting the control of society, and therefore rejecting the evils that it incurs in the name of moral obligation.

Throughout the novel, Taggart keeps the ultimate good of society in mind. When the government passes an illogical law that would curb the public good, Taggart acts illegally to keep society running. Galt acted in a contrasting manner. When Galt had worked at Twentieth Century Motors, the company passed a policy that would compensate workers by taking from those with the most skill and giving to those with the most need. The company stagnated as each individual attempted to present himself as the least skilled and most needy. Galt thus destroyed his work and began his strike of the mind. Taggart initially believes that the mind and labor must work together for the common good, and that the two are on equal terms. Galt vehemently disagrees and tells her that she cannot join the strike of the mind until she swears the oath, “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will live for the sake of no man nor will I ask him to live for mine.” Galt’s individualistic streak embodies his view of the power of the mind. It is the mind, not labor, that makes production possible. Thus, it is the mind that must guide labor. He rejects the view of the forced moral obligation of collectivism and Taggart’s belief that the mind must live for the benefit of labor. Galt tells Taggart that it is an unfair burden. The individual is a mean unto himself and forced morality undermines the worth of the individual. Such moral obligation to society is ultimately unfair as it is for Atlas to hold up the weight of the world on his shoulders. Galt pleads with Taggart to let her burden go and thus reclaim herself. Taggart eventually agrees and joins Galt’s strike. Society soon collapses without the guidance of the industrialists and the strikers begin planning for their return to rebuild it.

The relationship between Dagny Taggart and John Galt characterize two opposing philosophies. Taggart believes in self-sacrifice and will stay to help society, no matter how much it abuses her. Galt eventually convinces her that such moral obligation is an unfair burden on the individual – it is akin to taking from an individual based on skill and redistributing based on need. Galt is the opposition to the forced moral obligation of collectivism and the champion of individuality, capitalism, and innovation. Galt rejects the brutish control of labor. Taggart is the individual who feels indebted to society despite the harms that it inflicts on her. Taggarts eventual movement to Galt’s camp represents reclamation of individuality.

Sample FF

Black ink does not stand out well on dark blue paper. Rather, the contrast it has with white paper allows it to be read much more easily. This same idea applies to literature. Often a foil is introduced in order to emphasize the traits of the main character. In Charles Dickens’s social-commentary novel, Great Expectations, a minor character, Bentley Drummle, acts as a foil to the protagonist, Pip. The differences between the two support Dickens’s belief that social status is not truly important.

Bentley Drummle and Pip possess nearly opposite sets of characteristics. Bentley is part of society’s upper class. Pip begins his life as a common working boy, though he eventually makes his way up the social ladder. While he advances his social status, he studies for long hours to become educated and refined. Bentley, on the other hand, is uneducated despite his ample opportunities. He is also rude, mean, and slovenly, contrasting with Pip’s overall kindness and attempts to be a real gentleman. Dickens sets up this comparison so that he can later show the effects of being a lazy upper-class slob or a hard-working, good-mannered common man.

The most important difference between the two characters’ actions exists in their relationships with the beautiful and fair orphan, Estella. Pip falls madly in love with Estella from an early age and does everything he can to win her approval; however, Estella rejects him because of his low status in society, ignoring all of his admirable qualities. Years after Pip loses touch with Estella, he finds out that she has married the undesirable Bentley Drummle. Unfortunately, her upper-class husband beats her and makes her miserable. Bentley dies, and Estella eventually reunites with Pip. Having married for status only and having seen that rich men are not necessarily the most wealthy in personality, Estella apologizes to Pip. She realizes that Pip’s good nature and enduring love are infinitely more important than whether or not he has nice clothes and fancy possessions. Compared to Bentley, Pip treats Estella much better despite his status. Estella had married Bentley for the same reason that she had rejected Pip: she only cared about status. After seeing Bentley’s true qualities, she understands that Pip’s honesty and gentleness outweigh what class he was brought up in.

Dickens’s use of Bentley Drummle to mirror Pip helps him to prove his point about the uselessness of social classes. One of Dickens’s main beliefs was that how one person treats others is the only characteristic that we should judge. In his novel, he lets the kind-hearted Pip end up with the beautiful girl, rather than the abusive, yet upper-class Bentley. Class, status, and money are not effective measures of a person’s worth. Though Bentley was born into a better family, he possesses all of the bad traits that Pip does not have. Pip, the common boy who must struggle his way to the top, has several positive qualities which stand out from those of his foil. With this comparison, Dickens demonstrates one of the main themes in his novel: social stratification is futile, and the only part of a person that matters is the heart.

Readers expect some point to be made as Dickens describes Bentley and Pip as nearly exact opposites and sends them after the same girl. Pip is the undisputed champion despite his humble upbringing. The comparison between he and his foil is a tool for Dickens’s criticism of his hierarchical society.

Sample SJ1

Taken from a “live” book

In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Fortinbras serves as a foil to Hamlet. Hamlet’s extreme indecisiveness is deeply contrasted with Fortinbras’ impetuous and rash action. As enemies, their relationship further emphasizes Hamlet’s flaws. While Shakespeare does not portray Fortinbras as the ideal, he uses Fortinbras’ ability to act to reveal Hamlet’s inherent flaw to avenge his father’s death.

After his father is murdered by Fortinbras’ father, Hamlet has every motivation to avenge his father’s death for his kingdom. He is even met personally by his father’s ghost who pleads for his action. Nevertheless, Hamlet continuously exhibits an inability to act and a constant cowardice.

Meanwhile Fortinbras needs little or no reason to kill, go to war, or accomplish anything. His action needs little or no encouragement and he is rash in his decisions. The fact that Fortinbras is willing to die for any small issue is a stark contrast to Hamlet’s situation. Hamlet’s weakness, his indecisiveness, becomes obvious, and it is evident that Hamlet may never grasp the tenacity or desire to act.

Nevertheless, Fortinbras also reveals Hamlet’s strengths to the reader. While Fortinbras does display a gallant ability to act for even small matters, he lacks foresight and rationality. Such weaknesses point out Hamlet’s strengths, his contemplative and conscious nature. Moreover, when Hamlet does try to emulate Fortinbras, his action often has disastrous consequences. An example is when Hamlet temporarily adopts Fortinbras' rash nature and accidentally kills Polonius. Such results demonstrate how Shakespeare is not making a supporting case for Fortinbras' behavior. In fact, by using the reaction and relationship between Hamlet and Fortinbras, Shakespeare actually seems to advocate extensive thought contemplation rather than impulsive action.

The application of Fortinbras as a foil both reveals the strengths and weaknesses of Hamlet and makes a commentary on Shakespeare’s opinion on the nature of human behavior. While externally it may seem like Fortinbras’ rash behavior only makes obvious Hamlet’s indecisiveness, the presence of Fortinbras as a foil to Hamlet also contributes to the work of Hamlet being an analysis of the human emotional experience. The complex reactions between these two characters invite investigation into the relationship between humane motive, thought and ultimate action.

|2 |V |A Separate Peace. This essay attempts to demonstrate that Gene’s negative self-perception reveals something about Finney, but it is|

| | |difficult to tell exactly what that something is. The essay is both underdeveloped and incoherent. Doesn’t get off the ground. |

|8 |X |The Joy Luck Club In a well-focused essay, the writer links the characteristics of the main character, Lindo Jong, and her |

| | |stepmother, Huang Taitai, with the complex themes of the novel. The essays uses apt and specific textual support to fully explore |

| | |the relationship between the two women. The writer maintains a sophisticated control of writing throughout the essay. Rich in |

| | |analysis, but plot details take a long time to get to the analysis. |

|6 |NN |The Color Purple There is an implicit argument. The essay defines the characters with the step-father and Celie. In its |

| | |implication, it is an essay about male oppression, and how her step father’s abuse affects her as a character and her concept about |

| | |herself. There are problems with the middle of the essay. The middle part is a bit unfocussed, but the ending draws things |

| | |together. |

|4 |CCC |Crime and Punishment The writer offers a less than adequate treatment of the task: the essay identifies a main character and a |

| | |foil, and provides a few examples to support the claim that “Raskolnikov’s harsh personality is contrasted by Razumihin’s steady |

| | |loyalty and kindness as a friend.” There is no development of the assertion that this contrast helps “further the meaning of the |

| | |novel.” The last sentence abdicates the writer’s responsibility as analyst, leaving the meaning “to the reader.” |

|2 |Z |The Sound and the Fury The essay attempts to respond to prompt, but is poorly written and incoherent in places: “minor characters |

| | |contruble [sic] to the foil of the main character.” |

|8 |FF |Great Expectations A strong opening: this essay begins with a flare we haven’t seen in the lower scores, and immediately connects |

| | |the foil relationship between Pip and Bentley to the novel’s theme. The writing initially seems to lack sophistication, but the |

| | |diction is apt and specific and the syntax is varied. The essay heightens its analysis of main character and foil through its |

| | |extended analysis of each character’s relationship with Estella. Finally, its analysis of Dickens’ criticism of hierarchical |

| | |society demonstrates an insightful understanding of Dickens’ theme. Although there is a clear control of language, the writing does|

| | |not reach the highest level of sophistication. |

|5 |M |Catch 22 With its idea the Yossarian’s fear of death is an obsession, this essay is off to an unsophisticated analysis of Catch 22.|

| | |The essay does develop a simplistic reading, however, and does offer a plausible argument that McWatt helps us understand Yossarian.|

|9 |ZZ |Atlas Shrugged Well focused and persuasive, this essay fully explores the nuances of the differences between Dagny Taggart and John|

| | |Galt, contrasting them not on the simplistic qualities of character, but on the opposing philosophies that the characters represent.|

| | |With extensive and detailed textual support, including well-chosen quotations, the writer provides a sophisticated analysis of the |

| | |competing values of collectivism versus individuality. Although not without flaws, the essay is confident in its thorough |

| | |understanding of the text. |

|3 |D |The Catcher in the Rye This essay on Catcher in the Rye identifies Phoebe as a foil to Holden, but develops the concept of how she |

| | |acts to contrast his qualities only indirectly. In this inadequately developed treatment, the writer only partially explains how |

| | |Phoebe helps Holden identify his desire to maintain and protect innocence. |

|7 |G |The Kite Runner Reasonable analysis. Some insight and fairly deep understanding. With numerous textual examples, the essay offers|

| | |a reasonable analysis of Hassan as a foil to Amir. The essay fails to reach the highest level, however, due to its somewhat limited|

| | |insight that labels “Hassan as all good and Amir as all bad.” The meaning of the work as a whole is raised in the strong discussion|

| | |of atonement, as it accurately observes that Amir’s transformation into a Hassan-like character. |

|1 |A |Frankenstein Unacceptably brief. Opening sentence’s claim not supported in second sentence. |

2008 AP English: Literature and Composition

Sample Essays—Scores

Question #1: Keats’s “When I Have Fears” and Longfellow’s “Mezzo Cammin”

Sample OOO 5

Sample AA 1

Sample UU 6

Sample LL 8

Sample CCCC 2

Sample ZZ 3

Sample PP 9

Sample TT 7

Sample VVV 4

Sample OO 8

Sample M 5

Question #2: Anita Desai’s Fasting, Feasting

Sample L 6

Sample Y 1

Sample I 9

Sample P 4

Sample II 8

Sample GGG 5

Sample J 7

Sample W 3

Sample CC 2

Sample PP 0

Sample B 2

Sample HH 4

Sample JJJJ 8

Question #3: Function of a Foil

Sample V 2

Sample X 8

Sample A 1

Sample CCC 4

Sample G 7

Sample Z 2

Sample NN 6

Sample M 5

Sample D 3

Sample ZZ 9

Sample FF 8

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