CONFESSIONS OF A NARCISSIST

CONFESSIONS OF A NARCISSIST

Peering deep into the mysterious mind of a Narcissist A Rare Interview

with over 200 questions & answers.

WARNING

Some readers may find the following content highly disturbing and controversial.

Reader Discretion is Advised.

Narcissisticology?

The study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and its link to childhood abuse/neglect and its

devastating effects on humanity.

Interview conducted by Victor Manuel Pacheco

? 2021 @myconquestofnarcissism

Dated: May 29, 2021

Introduction:

People love to question more, especially something they know so little about! I sincerely

hope our interview will have such an impact on society that it will put a tremendous

amount of pressure on governments to do more to protect or save children from

narcissistic abuse as well as do more research into this complex phenomenon as you put

it. I once saw an anti-narcissist post that really disturbed me. I made this comment,

"...always try to leave room for forgiveness for that Narcissist was once an innocent child

that had the misfortune of its soul taken by a monster¡­" I always try to look beyond the

evilness in a person and search for a root cause of their problem. I believe what we are

doing now can make a huge difference in the world and I sincerely pray to God for a

miracle to bring peace to all victims and a cure for people with Narcissistic Personality

Disorder.

To our guest - the Narcissist:

My questions are designed to peer little by little going deeper into your mind as the

audience reads. A prelude to what awaits them at the end of this interview which you can

take them as deep as you want. It could be a full-page description or more, it's up to you.

Keep in mind, the more questions you answer to this complex phenomenon the better for

us and dispels any myths about the Narcissist. It is important that you be honest to

yourself when answering the questions for they are not only my questions but the

questions from many victims from around the world who simply want to understand why

the narcissist is the way they are. The more questions you answer the more you will fill

the void between the victims and narcissists in understanding your world. I see this as a

once in a lifetime opportunity!

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Questions to the Narcissist:

1. What is your name?

I will go under the alias of Luna.

2. Are you happy to have this opportunity to have an interview?

I am very happy to have the opportunity for an interview, hopefully to give people insight into how

my brain works.

3. What do you have to gain from this interview? I gain something to stave off my boredom, possibly

praise and gratitude, and the ability to enlighten people who may not understand how the

narcissistic brain works. To be quite stereotypical, it¡¯s fun to answer questions about myself and

fulfil a fantasy of being interviewed publicly! I also want to mention that with this interview, when it

refers to narcissists in general, I can only answer from my own perspective rather than the

perspective of all people with NPD.

Is it your first time?

This is my first time doing something like this.

4. Did you always feel a need to tell your story out of concern for humanity?

No. I fantasise often about having my biography written, or being interviewed publicly and

recognised for my achievements and ¡®superiority¡¯. Off to a great start on humility.

5. How is your health in general? Good, fair, poor?

My mental health is pretty... below average. I live in a state of perpetual boredom. My physical

health is also pretty average. I am young so I do not have any health concerns.

6. What country are you from?

I am from the United Kingdom ¨C I used to live in Spain.

7. What is your ethnic background? White British

8. What is your sex? Female

9. Are you straight? If not, what are you? I am bisexual and biromantic.

10. How old are you? I am 20 years old.

11. What is your marital status?

I am unmarried but in a committed relationship (2 years in September)

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12. Do you have children?

I do not have children but plan to adopt once I am settled down into a good career with, hopefully, my

current partner. Fuck passing on our genetics (not that it¡¯s biologically possible for us). He has a history

of psychotic depression/possible depressive schizoaffective disorder and extreme social anxiety, and I

am also a clusterfuck of illness. It¡¯s not worth passing it on to a child who will be predisposed to severe

mental illness from birth.

13. What is your religion? I do not have a religion.

14. What is your education level?

A-Level (high school equivalent), and I will be starting university in September to do Sociology &

Criminology.

15. Can you live up to any of these values with anyone or an organization?

Loyalty ¨C 100% if I am extremely committed to the person. I am generally only loyal to one person at a

time as I cannot connect with many people, especially if they are not my person of interest (or ¡®favourite

person¡¯ as the cluster B community puts it). Certainly not with an organisation, and rarely (if ever) with

friends.

Duty ¨C 100%, but again, only to one person at a time. I am very devoted to my partner. Again, not with

an organisation or friends.

Respect ¨C Yes, again with my partner. I have my moments where I will be disrespectful but our

relationship has a foundation of communication, growth and holding each other accountable ¨C myself

more so as I am the dominant person in the relationship and, as you can imagine, very opinionated. He

always tries to tell me if I¡¯m being a dick to put it bluntly, and our rules are that I am not expected to be

held accountable in the moment, but the next day I will do my best to rectify the situation and give him

space if he needs it. This works both ways but he is a very respectful person towards me so it is more

frequently myself. However I do tend to be very disrespectful to those who slight me and I do not feel

obliged to, which is most people, and I believe respect has to be earned.

Selfless Service ¨C I believe everyone has ulterior motives behind their actions, so probably not. I do most

good things for my own reputation or personal gain in some way. For example, something kind I do for

my partner will earn me ¡®more love¡¯ thus sustain the relationship. Giving to a homeless person will make

them see me as a positive person, and I like having a nice impact on people¡¯s days as they will remember

it and remember me! I do not think any action is entirely altruistic or selfless ¨C humans are inherently

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selfish, in my opinion at least. However I may be biased here due to my self-serving nature. I still believe

my actions have a positive impact, regardless of my motive; in my eyes I am not inherently taking

advantage of anyone as my ulterior motive does not harm anyone else.

Honor ¨C I honor my partner, I hold him in high esteem. I do not honor many others due to my

superiority complex which can lead to me being fairly disrespectful or passive aggressive towards others.

Integrity ¨C I like to think so. I did not learn morals through socialisation (Conduct Disorder) so I have my

own moral code. I try to be as honest as possible with those I value. I have been manipulative towards

my partner but when he notices he makes sure I hold myself accountable for it and stops me in my

tracks ¨C I highly value this. I do not have much integrity towards others.

Personal courage ¨C I have very strong opinions and will certainly stand up for myself! I do not stand for

others invading my boundaries and have always been very clear about this. In my personal courage I will

also stand up for my loved ones. Again, my partner is very passive so I use my outspokenness to help

build him up too. I believe we balance each other perfectly and I definitely think my narcissism has its

advantages for building my partner¡¯s confidence, too.

16. Have you ever been diagnosed with NPD? If yes, prior to being diagnosed, did you seek help and

did you feel you had a personality disorder? If not, do you consider yourself to be a person suffering

from NPD?

I have not yet been diagnosed. I have much reason to believe I am a narcissist, primarily due to my

upbringing, the way my self-esteem functions, the way I think of myself and others and the way others

around me have described me. I have, however, been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

(and Bipolar Disorder I, and a childhood history of Conduct Disorder). This has since been changed to

Mixed Personality Disorder. I think BPD may be inaccurate since, while I do fit the criteria, I feel it could

be attributed to NPD and Conduct Disorder. Regardless of my current diagnosis, I do consider myself of

at least suffering from ¡®high levels of narcissism¡¯. I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯ll soon be diagnosed with NPD. I knew

I was developing some form of personality disorder since the age of 10 years old.

17. What other terminology would you use besides NPD or for the mental illness you have?

Egotistical and self-serving, maybe?

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18. Are Narcissists insane or crazy people?

Nooooo! They are suffering from a mental illness. Unfortunately due to the stigma of being a person

with NPD, it is difficult to find an unbiased therapist who will support you with healing your core (a

much better and preventative means of coping) rather than focusing on your actions and your

projections (which is filled with judgement ¨C which is unprofessional in my eyes as therapy is supposed

to be a space to talk about things judgement-free and focus on healing your core). This is why I believe

most narcissists will avoid seeking help.

19. Which countries do you think Narcissists are most prevalent in?

If I am basing it on the stereotypical grandiose narcissist, probably the west. However I think countries

with higher levels of abuse truly have more people that meet the criteria for NPD.

20. Do you give yourself mental high fives when you hurt people just to get what you want? If so,

please describe the feeling.

Only if I have carried out revenge. It feels empowering, like I am a mastermind, and it gives me a feeling

of being ¡®high¡¯ ¨C it¡¯s exciting to know you have single-handedly caused chaos to unfold. I tend to isolate

myself nowadays so as I often go way too far and, to be honest, it causes a lot more hassle than it¡¯s

worth; no one seems as proud of you as you are of yourself, and this can really throw you into a deep

sense of shame. For the right reasons, of course. Hurting others is never a good thing and I know I do

deserve those feelings of hurt to my ego if I do something cruel, so isolating myself is preventative.

21. Do you think you were born with the predisposition of narcissism and nothing would change that?

I think I was born with a predisposition to develop NPD but I think that if I were raised in different

conditions, I would be much more well-adjusted.

22. Can you explain why Narcissists think alike meaning they all seem to use exact manipulation

techniques on their victims, i.e., withholding, circular conversations, trauma bonding (love hate

cycles), demoralizing by poking fun and calling it a joke, using positive traits against you for example,

if you¡¯re a devout Christian, them saying ¡°you¡¯re not a good Christian.¡± If you pride yourself in

something, telling you you¡¯re no good at that, etc.

This sounds like a leading question to me as I believe that using the term narcissism as a way to describe

all abusers is ridiculous, because you do not need any mental illness to be abusive. If abuse was a key

component of narcissism, it would probably be called something similar to Abusive PD or Malignant PD. I

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