PROFESSIONAL RESUME



PROFESSIONAL RESUMEJohnny Jumpup7000 South North StreetAnchorage, Alaska 99502(H) 907-868-1000 (W) 907-265-5555E-Mail: jjjjump@EducationAssociate in Arts (A. A.) Degree, Paralegal Studies, Lizard Gulch UniversityBouncin’ Bears Paratrooper Training, Brown Parachute LevelCurrently enrolled at University of Alaska Anchorage pursuing Bachelor’s Degreein Jumping Psychology; specialization in Technical WritingEmployment HistoryJuly 1990 -Jump Starter, Secret Paramilitary OrganizationPresent2000 Underground Road, Bunker 212A, Anchorage, AK 99501Folded 10,000 parachutesPatched defective parachutes with fishing lineDesigned parachutes in pretzel shapesCaptured 1,500 Pokemons using stealth technologiesTested parachutes by jumping off one story buildingsActed as parachute crash dummy as well as general dummyWrote book entitled: Parachuting for dummiesAugust 1988 -Chief Executive Officer, Bed, Bath, and BedbugsJuly 199011403 B Street, Suite 75894, Anchorage, Alaska 99501Threw in the towel whenever moist humor needed to be dryManaged a corporation of nearly 20,000 people using a fluffy approachTaught short sheeting classes to Scout TroopsShowered employees with praise and confettiDeveloped a prototype pillow computer called HeadsoftAugust 1986 -Office Machine Equipment Operator, United States Department of StateAugust 19881202 Innuendo Street, Suite 200, Washington, D. C. 00502Copied 100,000,000 documents each year, most of which were blankShredded 200,000,000,000 documents both existent and non-existentCloned employees through innovative use of copying processMaintained and repaired non-electric office machinesReferencesAvailable upon request; previous supervisors may be contacted ................
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