Psy



Psy. 490. Fall, 2014

Maria Hess PhD, MFT

Office: Stevenson 3083; SSU: 664-2413. Private office: 824 - 9902

Tuesdays 12 – 1 and Thursdays 12:00 – 1:00 Please sign up on my office door; or alternate Wednesdays 12 – 1:00, or 2 – 3:00 for drop in.

E-mail address: maria.hess@SONOMA.EDU.

Love, Sex, and Intimacy

Would you become a pilgrim on the road to love?

The first condition is that you make yourself humble as dust and ashes.

~ Rumi

Course Description

This upper division seminar will focus on the psychological, spiritual, clinical, and individual aspects of love, sex and intimacy in contemporary life. In this class we will explore the psychology, dogma, and mythos regarding Eros, libido, Love, marriage, soul-mates, etc., and the impact of each on our personal growth and adult development.

We will magnify and examine, discuss and imagine the issues of love, connectivity, desire, and intimacy with the Self as well as others. We have the time and space to develop an arena to speak candidly as adults about such issues as; auto-eroticism, premarital sex, cultural taboos and rituals, dating, “hooking up”, breaking up, loving, being “in Love”, sexual practices and consent, to name only a few. We will all have the opportunity to deepen our awareness and insight and learn to speak about issues that are often difficult in even our most meaningful relationships.

In this course we will put attention to our own intimate lives and experiences through lecture, exercises, presentations, discussion, writing and reading.

This seminar is taught as a learning community, everyone contributes to the identification, exploration, and explication of the course topics. We will spend some time developing the interest topics of the group and how best to present them to the whole.

Course Objectives

One of the main objectives of this course is to broaden personal and clinical understanding and depth regarding the issues of intimacy, sex, and love. Upon completing this course you will have had the opportunity to:

1. Examine how the three areas of love, sex, intimacy (and topics related to

them) impact psychological, emotional, intellectual and spiritual

experience and growth.

2. Research a specific topic to discuss and present to the class at large.

3. Develop a trusting learning circle to candidly dialogue and explore your

feelings, perceptions, thoughts and ideas about the topics at hand.

4. Learn and experience practical techniques to explore issues that assist

helpers when working with others.

Classroom Environment:

A safe environment is necessary for the development of trust and self-disclosure. Mutual respect is one way to nurture a contained and trusting place for learning and growth. If we all work together towards respecting the parameters of the course our experience will be enriched.

*An assumption is made that because you chose to sign up for this upper-division seminar, you feel mature enough to engage in meaningful, some times provocative, or evocative material. There is an expectation that you can manage your reactions, and regulate your feeling responses.

*As we will be sharing and developing a close working alliance with each other it is important to be aware of one’s behavior in a learning circle. You will use your check-in time to practice listening and learning about self-disclosure. During check-ins please do not read, draw, check any electronic devices, sleep, or chat with your neighbor. Think about how you want others to listen to you!

* The checking and use of cell phones is absolutely prohibited during class time

and will be monitored and addressed in class if used.

* Please turn your cell phones off and have them put away*

* Unless exempted by signed documentation from student disability services,

laptop use is prohibited during class.

* You are welcome to bring drinks, but eating is not appreciated during class time.

Course Requirements

Attendance and Participation

Since participation is such an integral part of this experience, attendance plays an important part in your learning. In addition, I do not lecture off of your reading material making the in-class information, once missed, difficult to recapture. Students are responsible for retrieving the learning of a missed class. Tardiness and early departures will affect your grade. (You are allowed one absence after which you will be docked 5 points off of your total class score.)

Each class will begin with an attunement. If you are late, please wait outside of class until the attunement is over.

Integration Paper

This 2 – 3 page paper is for you to express your understanding and awareness about in-class topics. Here you might ask questions that feel too personal for the larger group, you might expand on an issue brought up in class, challenge a notion that you read about, or saw in a video, or take the opportunity to express a feeling that might arise secondary to the topics discussed.

Although integration papers tend to be less formal, please double space, proof read, and pay attention to APA form and style. Due: Nov. 18 (15 points)

Sex Histories

You are required to complete two sex histories for this course. The first one will be a personal history and the other will be a history you take of another who is not currently a sex partner. In class we will examine all the components of a sex history and I will give you an outline from which to work.

The important part of sex history two is the self-exploration aspect that supports a compare and contrast component as you notice the difference between taking your own history versus that of another. You will need to examine your thoughts, ideas, and feelings that arise from this project and write a paper to accompany your histories.

These papers are to be a minimum of 5-7 pages per history, double-spaced, using the course material to punctuate your understanding of the gathered material. You will need to use APA style to reference your work and no more than two web sites are to be included.

Sex history 1 is 15 pts. Due Sept. 30

Sex History 2 is 20 pts. Due: Nov. 4

Individual Projects

Please choose a topic to research and give a 60-minute presentation to the group at large, including time for questions. You may create a DVD, bring in a guest speaker, give a lecture or PowerPoint presentation, perform music, dance, or tell a story. The point of this project is to bring forth your own sense of curiosity, creativity, and interest regarding any aspect of love, sex, and intimacy. The material must have some research base, and I encourage you to choose a topic that has personal meaning so you can bring your passion and interest to it.

Presenters will send a substantive article, essay, or blog that interfaces with, or augments their presentation topic the week prior to his or her presentation.

Students will sign up for their presentation the second week of class. The entire class and the instructor, will grade these projects and the student will be given the averaged grade. Due: Throughout Semester (40 points)

In-class Exercises and Assignments

Throughout the semester there will be miscellaneous assignments and exercises; brief in-class writing, expressive at-home projects, etc. All assignments are due on the date indicated on the syllabus or set in class. (10 points)

Grading

Attendance and Participation = student will be docked 5 points per absence

after the one allowed.

Sex history 1= 15 points

Sex history 2 = 20 points

Integration paper = 15 points

Individual project = 40 points

In-class exercises and assignments = 10 points (1- 5 pts. each)

Total available points: 100

Required Texts

Blank, unlined, journal or paper for in-class exercises.

Mapping the Terrain of the Heart (MTH) Goldbart, S.and Wallin, D.

if the Buddha dated (IBD) Kasl, C

How to be An Adult in Relationships (HTBAR) Richo, D.

Presenters will send additional on-line reading to the class the week prior to their presentation. We will develop a digital reading list among us.

Recommended Texts

Conscious Loving Hendricks and Hendricks

A Natural History of Love Ackerman. D.

The Soul of Sex Moore, T.

Reading and Assignment Schedule

Wk 1 Aug 19 Introductions

21 Defining terms, developing guidelines, topics for presentations.

Wk 2 26 Let’s start where we are.

Assignment (5pts.): expressive representation of how you identity

and experience love.

Presentation sign-up

28 Importance of family, friends, and bonding

Take the love language test (1 pt.)



Wk 3 Sep 2 Becoming familiar with our inner map

Read: (MTH) pg.1 - 65

Attachment styles and identifying our defenses.

4 On-line video: Helen Fisher: The brain in love.



On-line Video: Why we Love,Why we Cheat. Helen Foster

watch?v=x-ewvCNguug

Wk 4 9 Begin Student Presentations

Read: (MTH) pg 66-116.

11

Wk 5 16 Read: (MTH) pg.117 - 190

18

Wk 6 23 Read: (MTH) pg.191 - 275

25

Wk 7 30 Sex History 1 Due

Oct 2 Read: (HTBAR) pg.1 - 78

Wk 8 7

9 Read: (HTBAR) pg. 79 - 105

Wk 9 14

16 Read: (HTBAR) pg.106 - 152

Wk 10 21 Checking in. What are we learning?

23 Read: (HTBAR) pg. 153 - 198

On-line Video: What you don’t know about marriage. Jenna Mc

Carthy

watch?v=Y8u42OjH0ss

Wk 11 28 Read: (IBD) pg. xiii - 54

30 Read: (HTBAR) pg.199 - 242

Wk 12 Nov 4 Sex History 2 Due

Read: (IBD) pg. 55 -98

6 On-line Video:Crazy Love. Leslie Morgan Steiner

watch?v=lNJjEZoRKqM

Wk 13 11 Read: (IBD) pg. 99 - 134

13

Wk 14 18 Integration Paper Due

Read: (IBD) pg.135-170

20

Wk 15 25 Read: (IBD) pg.171 - 188

27 Thanksgiving Break! Rest, give and receive gratitude.

Wk 16 Dec 2 Read: (IBD) pg.189 - 206

4

Wk 17 9 What have we learned?

11 Final: Th: 2 – 3:50; Closure and Good-byes

Academic Integrity: It is the responsibility of each student to be apprised of the requirements of the psychology department and university, regarding academic honesty. The parameters are outlined in your student handbook and online at

.

Access for Students with Disabilities: Students who have disabilities and require classroom accommodations should meet with me (within the first 2 weeks of class) during my office hours to make these arrangements. Please bring accommodations authorization from the Disability Resource Center with you.

“Practice Love and cooking with reckless abandon!”

~ H.H. Dalai Lama

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

~ Rumi

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