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Tiffany EvansDrusilla D. GlascoePersonality Theory2250Every Myers-Briggs Type Indicator based online personality test that I have ever taken has always come back that I am an ENFJ (Teacher). I never took much head to the tests because it only partially sounded like me. Always reminiscent of say looking at ones Astrology charts; speckled with hits and misses. While it is true I am an ENFJ, it is a very large part of who I am. I always knew that there was something missing in this portrait, it wasn’t the entire or whole picture of me. Needless to say I am very skeptical of any sort of test that can supposedly tell you about yourself, and soon enough I would find out why. Apprehensively and yet excitedly I delved right into “Please Understand Me II” intrigued to see what Professor Keirsey had to say. Would he be able to unlock the mystery and secret of just who I am?I knew there was a problem or an issue right from the start, why was it so difficult for me to answer these very basic questions. Is it better to be (a) just or (b) merciful? How was I to pick just one? I am both neither side calls or beckons me more. Some of my answers were so clear cut and dry all “E’s” no “I’s” I am obviously and extrovert or expressive. Other answers showed a clear disposition towards one side, 16 “N’s” intuitive or introspective to 4 “S’” sensory or observant. My “J’s” and “P’s” judging and scheduling versus perceiving and probing were 12 to 8 respectively. But when it came to the “T’s” thinkers or tough-minded and the “F’s” feelers or friendly I was completely split down the middle. There was an X factor in my personality type something that had yet to be discovered. When I was in elementary school I was in the Extended Learning Program for gifted students, I remember vividly that they gave us all tests to determine whether we were left brained or right brained. And wouldn’t you believe it I was divided exactly straight down the middle. I was neither left nor right brained. I remember pondering at that young age just what does that mean? Does it mean that I will be good at most things but never spectacular at any one thing? Why was I so different from all of the other students? Am I a freak?I’m not gonna lie I was a little unnerved when I discovered that this test had given me a response that is out of the norm. It wasn’t going to be a cut and dry easy description, but really in my life nothing is. So what am I? Am I an ENFJ [Idealist] (Teacher) or am I an ENTJ [Rationalist] (Field marshal)? The book instructed to go ahead and read both types and then decide for yourself which group you truly belong. So I thought okay great I will have to essentially read most of the book and then hopefully I will have a clear answer.It isn’t what happened; there was no clear definitive choice. In actuality I am unequivocally both. As I was reading through the Idealist section I thought surely this is who I am, yes there were a few things that did not correlate with my personality but for the most part it identified me to a T. But then as I went on to read the Rationalist chapter it also described me perfectly with a few minor missteps. This was completely unexpected. How can one person have such diametrically different personalities in one body in one mind? Do I have a split personality disorder? Am I crazy or can this really be who I am? I have no other answer but yes, this is who I am. I am a complicated contradictory mystery.IdealistsThe Idealists to me seem well ideal in so many ways. Their main goal in life is to achieve self-actualization. So much of my life for as long as I can remember has been spent pondering all the greatest questions, who am I? Why am I here? What is the purpose and meaning of life? I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights I have spent scouring my brain to try to tease out the answers. I did this with so much zest and zeal that at the ripe old age of 27 (almost 28) I am pretty certain and confident in my answers to these questions. Not to say that I have all of the answers but enough to satisfy myself, so that I am not tormented anymore. Professor Keirsey stated that, “The reluctance of over ninety percent of humanity to join the search for self-actualization is a great source to f mystification to the idealists“(Keirsey 144). So much a part of my life this journey has been that I found it extremely shocking to think that only 10% of us our on this journey and that even perhaps only 10% of us are idealists.Which brings me to one major difference that I have with Idealists, I am not religious in any sense of the word. I do not and will not believe someone else’s beliefs. In fact I do not have any beliefs to speak of, of my own. I like to rely of factual evidence and science not faith and intangible things. I do have thoughts about what happens when we die and theories as to why we are here but none involve any imaginative beings. Whether I am an Idealist or a Rationalist I use Abstract words to communicate. Talk to me about things that aren’t tangible, philosophy, meanings and symbols, anything that has a deeper meaning than what is seen at first glance. As an idealist I am quick to pick up subtleties and things left unsaid. My husband gets so mad at me because he feels like I don’t ever understand him, which couldn’t be further from the truth, he just but needs to say a few words or look a certain way and I already know what it is he is thinking. I have always had this ease of knowing people right from the get. There have even been times where I could have swore that I have read others minds. Words popping in my head that are not of my own that they only moments later with say. I have always known myself to be an empath. The empathy and sympathy I feel for others is so intense and real. Watching Nancy Grace is almost unbearable for me because not only can I feel the parents pain for their lost of missing child but somehow I put myself in the child’s shoes or skin and feel what it is that they must have felt. Inevitably I am in uncontrollable tears. Ever since I was little I could see, actually see and feel the other person’s point of view. I could remove myself and all of my constructs and just experience what others perceive as their truth. In line with this phenomenon random people strangers even will come up to me and tell me their whole life stories. They will completely and utterly open themselves up to me. It is almost that they sense in me someone who can truly understand them and without judgment see them for who they really are. All idealists desire to be at peace with oneself and harmonize with all those who surround them. So ugly to me is any discrimination whether it is based on skin, sex, abilities or lack thereof, religion, or even politics. It is something that is so foreign to me, I don’t understand how anyone can look at another human being and not see the fact that they are just like them, experiencing life just the same. These are such minor insignificant differences in the big scheme of things. Why don’t people judge others on their eye color or how big their hands are it is just as silly to me? We are all different in such beautiful and amazing ways.As a Mentor the book says that I am enthusiastic and charismatic or inspiring to others. I can’t say that I totally am in line with this. As for enthusiasm I suppose I have my moments but I would never use that adjective to describe myself. There has been a love of helping others since my early childhood. Looking back it was almost like I was collecting people as projects, hoping to help them achieve better self-esteem or even helping them with addiction problems. Until reading this text I always believed and was often told that my incessant need to help others was only a means to distract myself from my own problems. I never put it together that maybe it is tied to my self-worth but that it was a good thing. The ENFJ Teacher comprises only about 2% of our population according to Professor Keirsey. We are mentors that are nurturing and supportive of our pupils. Naturally we are great leaders helping people to grow and learn. Teachers are very caring and invest much of themselves into others well being. One of the careers that are listed under good choices for Teachers is to be a Therapist, which of course is where I hope to see myself someday. My mother for years has in vain been trying to tell me that it is good to be selfish sometimes that you must take care of yourself first. For all of the years not knowing why I couldn’t disagree with her more. Why in the world would it ever be a good thing to be selfish we should all be giving and selfless? Now I know it is my Altruistic nature that makes me feel so adamantly this way. My ultimate goal and dream in life is to start a non-profit where I would travel the world helping children in need. It is what motivates me to go to school to get a career so that I can someday achieve my greatest desire in life.I am always, always, always looking to the future. Whatever is happening in the right here right now is never good enough for me. It feels like I am never satisfied that there is so much out there that I need to get out and experience. There are so many possibilities and good things ahead and right now is just the interim. Unlike the book however I don’t believe that it has anything at all to do with any sort of mystical aspect. Do I wish to be seen as Empathetic, Benevolent, and Authentic? You betcha. To me that seems to be the ultimate human experience. Or in a sense self-actualization itself. To have goodwill towards others at all times, be able to sympathize and know others joys and pains, all at the same time being 100% authentic with who you really are. No faking, just letting all of the ugliness and beauty flow through you. Mmmm… Sounds absolutely wonderful. RationalsNow on to my other half; the Rational side of my personality. Professor Keirsey surmises that rationals comprise only about 5-6% of our population and only 2% of those are Fieldmarshals. Obviously I am in rare company. When first finding out that I might be a rational I had a mix of emotions. To me anyway I think of this group as the “nerds” the socially awkward only concerned with science and the like. On the other hand it completely makes sense and fits in with who I am. I am extremely rational in my thought and do not take anything for its face value.Remember how I said that every MBTI test I took online came back that I was a ENFJ Teacher, well every test I have taken on whether or not I am an A type personality or a B type personality has always come back that I am an A type. Meaning that I am very direct to the point, need everything done quickly and efficiently, and always have to have a strategy or plan. There is an organization map always in my head and on at least 2 calendars of everything that needs to be done. There is no messing around I mean business. Sounds a little familiar.Just like the Idealists, Rationalists speak in an abstract manner as well. Except us rationals have little patience when people only speak to us in terms of small talk. How is the weather? Do you like this movie? What team are you rooting for? Blah! Waste of time. Speaking of wastes of time I can’t be bothered to repeat myself, oh how I hate to repeat myself. I also seem to tend to leave of pieces of information when I am describing or telling other what I need them to do, figuring that they are smart enough to figure it out for themselves. Do I have to spell everything out for you? Really…To say that I am careful and deliberate about what I say is an understatement. I will literally go over everything I want to say and make sure that I chose the most correct vocabulary word as well as make sure that I don’t say anything that will offend or make me look stupid. I always “qualify my statements with modifiers” (Keirsey 167) when I am talking to make sure that I am not nailed down to any one statement because I truly believe that there are no such things as absolute truths and facts just today’s best known theories or guesses. I do admit that I check the dictionary, I even have it saved as a favorite website, and as well I often use thesauruses looking for synonyms. As a Fieldmarshal I am a coordinator. Basically I am bossy. This is so true, even as a young girl I remember always being in charge in playgroups and at school. Now as a mother and a wife, I am without doubt the person who wears the pants in the family. I keep this well oiled machine moving and delegate and basically tell others what to do. “Myers had a special name for the ENJT’s. She called them ‘Leaders of leaders’” (Keirsey 196).In school I have always been very confused at what courses I would like to take, on one hand I am inevitably drawn to the sciences and of course math, oh I love math. On the other hand I like the humanities and social courses as well; due I am sure to my idealistic other half. I need to go back a little to when I was a young impressionable teenage girl. When I went to my high school counselor and asked to be placed in chemistry he snickered and said that I wasn’t bright enough that I wouldn’t make it. He refused to put me in the class. Ever since that encounter I have had self doubt in my abilities in the science field. I am afraid that what he said is true that I am not good enough so I have yet to pursue many courses in technical or laboratory classes. So hard on myself I can be at times that I am always surprised when I get an A. Although I have always gotten A’s I always know for certain every test, every class that this time I will fail. Skepticism is my middle name. I do not just blindly believe everything that I see and hear. I need proof I need facts. Even then I am never 100% certain of anything. This plays into the whole aspect of being an individual for me as well. I think for myself, nobody can tell me what to think, do, or say. I am my own autonomous person. As a child my parents couldn’t ever tell me what to do, why would they know better than I do same with teachers and anybody in authority really. I take everything I hear with a grain of salt and wait to make my judgment after I have done my own investigation into the matter. Not one to ever be able to sit idly doing nothing I love to play games. Usually mind games or puzzle games. Whether it is a computer game, a video game, board game, or even word puzzles like word finds and crosswords. To always be using my mind and expanding my knowledge is very important to me. When watching television usually you will catch me watching CNN, the discovery, or history channel. Reading is also a favorite past time. Rationals have a deep seeded need to be able to have strength of will to be able to accomplish whatever it is that they set out to do whether or not it is reasonable. I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I am a control freak. It has reared its ugly head in many facets of my life. For years I struggled with eating disorders, only after having children have I seen improvement. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which mainly manifests itself as me being a germaphobe; I admittedly wash and sanitize my hands probably at least 50 times a day. It is my need to have everything be just exactly so and to be perfect that when it is impossible I resort to my phobias. Just recently in my History class I commented on the reason I don’t like history is because we are just supposed to memorize dates and names. I have an issue with this because I want to know the how and the why. Why were people doing what they were doing and how were they doing it, not just when and who. It was all too funny to read that that is the rationals nature to know all the components. When I was 5 I remember asking incessantly over and over and over again why, why, why? Driving my parents absolutely nuts. Now I know why I was unsatisfied with the answers I was receiving because I really wanted to know the how but didn’t know how to word it correctly at that age.MatingWell it doesn’t look to good for me in this particular segment. It seems that the best person for a NF to mate with is a NT and vice versa. And they only make up some 15% of the population; I guess I could marry myself. Just kidding I am already married. My husband took the test to see what he was and lo and behold it said he was an ENFP [Idealist] (Champion). So I guess I got lucky. My courtship with my husband was a whirlwind to say the least. From the first day that we started seeing each other we didn’t spend one day apart. He asked me to marry him within the first few months and we were married in under a year. I absolutely romanticize love and am blind to any negative attributes in my partners in the initial stages of dating. Only after years of being together do I begin to see the real true person that I married and there was absolutely some disillusionment. It says that Idealists marry Soul mates, which unfortunately I don’t believe in. It also says that we are romantic lovers. I would have to say that neither my husband nor I am very romantic, although I wish that he were. When my husband gets too clingy or needs too much attention I bolt, at times I even seem uncaring and cold. Rationals are said to marry their Mind mates, this I hold to be true for me. In my marriage we are currently lacking in this area and it is extremely trying for me. I find myself resenting him for not being on the same level as me intellectually, which isn’t fair to him in the least. My husband does believe that I am cold and distant a great deal of the time. He feels like he has to ask for hugs and physical affection, he hates that he has to beg for my attention. Regrettably I am guilty of Pygmalion Projects; I have tried in many ways to get my husband to change to be more like me. I know it is impossible and will only cause him to resent me but at times I can’t stop myself.ParentingI am a mother of two beautiful boys ages 2 and almost 6. Neither of which is old enough to figure out a personality type of. I can’t wait until they have matured enough so that they can take the test. Until then we will just look at what kind of parent I am. As an Idealist Harmonizer my goal is to seek deep harmonious relationships with my kids. I want them to want to be around me for the rest of their lives. It seems like I can never kiss them enough or hug and squeeze them enough, almost smothering I know. I tell my children I love them innumerous times each day, they know for an absolute fact that I love them with all of my being there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. From a very young age I started giving my children compliments and let them know how smart and beautiful and special they are, I can see how this is the Idealist in me helping to ensure they have great self-esteem.As a Rational Individuator my main goal as mommy is to make sure that they can step out into this world standing on their own two feet. They need to be self sufficient individual when they leave my house. In all my controlling ways I have never wanted to control what kind of person they turn out to be. A lot of mothers say that their favorite age for their children is the newborn infant stage, not for me I love it when they turn 2, 3, 4 and their personality starts to emerge. I get to glimpse who they are and get to enjoy them and their thoughts. LeadingAs far as leading goes I don’t have too much to say on the subject simply because I have already touched on the subject of leading in the only role that I do lead which is parenting. That being said as a leader I do believe that giving praise and appreciation is huge in keeping up morale in your followers. They need to know that you value them and their work. I believe I would be a diplomatic leader and I would also delegate tasks to the best person qualified for each job. Both of my personality types whether it is the Idealistic ENFJ or the Rationalist ENTJ are born leaders. I am obviously destined to take people by the hand and lead them into the well strategized and organized path that I have set forth.Did he do it? Did Professor Keirsey unlock who I am? I believe so, yes. Of course there are many, many different facets to each human being and we are all unique snowflakes but the main points that make me me, that drive me to behave in certain ways he definitely covered. I thought for certain that I would fit adequately into one little nice box, but I didn’t. And that’s okay. I am special if you take the 2% that make up all the teachers in the world and the 2% that make up all of the fieldmarshals in the world that makes me pretty unique. I will probably never in my lifetime meet another human being with my same personality profile. But I think it suits me well. Works Cited BIBLIOGRAPHY Keirsey, David. "Please Understand Me II." Del Mar: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company, 1998. ................
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