Persuasive Writing Example



Persuasive Writing Example

Editorial Mode

America is at a point of crisis. While we have made tremendous strides in improving our overall quality of life, we are seeing a dramatic increase in chronic diseases such as Type II Diabetes, high-blood pressure, and heart disease. All of these diseases are avoidable and controllable through diet and exercise. Everyone agrees that these threats to our health are bad, but no one has taken the simple, concrete step that could start young people on a path that leads away from these threats to their life-long health and well being. If we intend to protect the health of young people in this country, we must change the types of food that are available in the lunchrooms and student stores at our schools. (Topic is introduced – thesis is stated)

Some may argue that our students should be able to choose to eat what they want, that the schools have no place dictating the diets of Americans. To these people, I answer with this fact: in practical terms, schools already dictate the diets of our children. By providing pop instead of water and pizza instead of soup or salads, schools are teaching children to adopt unhealthy diets. It is true that kids are allowed, even encouraged, to bring lunches from home, but these lunches are seldom healthier than their cafeteria counterparts. Even kids who bring healthy lunches from home often “supplement” them with the chips and soda available at school. (The antithesis is stated and refuted)

The availability of soda at school is a major obstacle to the good health of young people. Type II Diabetes is one of the fastest growing chronic diseases in America. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in the year 2000, 6.8% of the US population has Type II diabetes. This number has been growing especially rapidly among non-white Americans (CDC: Diabetes Prevalence, 2000). Studies reveal that risk-factors (factors correlated with increased risk of diabetes) for type II diabetes include reduced tolerance to glucose (CDC: Diabetes – Frequently-Asked Questions). Glucose is sugar, both in the form of traditional refined sugar and the less-recognized high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). High fructose corn syrup is the second ingredient (after water) listed on the back of every brand of non-diet soda sold in the US. According to the International Obesity Taskforce, 80% of type II diabetes patients are obese. Since HFCS was introduced in the US in the 1970’s, American obesity rates have increased by 26% while our consumption of HFCS has increased from one pound per capita to over 60 pounds per capita (International Obesity Task Force: “Finger points to corn syrup in obesity epidemic”, August 29, 2002). A 20 ounce soda has 275 calories and 19 teaspoons of sugar, while a “supersize” soda has 600 calories and 38 teaspoons of sugar (Colorado Department of Education: “Partners in Child Nutrition – Don’t Supersize It”). While soda consumption isn’t the only cause of the epidemic increases of both obesity and type II, it is one that schools have control over. (Argument One is stated and supported by evidence and reasoning)

In school cafeterias all over America, kids drink those nice sugary sodas to wash down high-fat meals of pizza, hamburgers, and various forms of fried potatoes. This has been the case since the federal school lunch programs began in the 1930’s when the Great Depression made it difficult for many families to feed their kids. The first school lunch programs were designed to be the only meal that many students would receive that day (“The National School Lunch Program”, Unites States Department of Agriculture). Hence, they were loaded with calories, fats, and protein. Many Americans are still poor today, but very, very few are starving in the way that the original recipients of school lunch programs were. Instead, the poorest American students get nothing but high-fat food. The school lunches are fattening; by law they must get 30% of their calories from fat (Colorado Department of Education: “Partners in Child Nutrition – Don’t Supersize It”). The Colorado School Food Service Association estimates that eating 1.5 cups of French fries (a school lunch staple) twice a week will lead to an average weight increase of 7 pounds per year (Colorado Department of Education: “Partners in Child Nutrition – Don’t Supersize It”). By being a source of unhealthy food, schools are contributing to the overall decline in health for poor Americans. (Argument Two is stated and supported by evidence and reasoning)

Unfortunately, finishing school and leaving the cafeteria behind doesn’t mean an end of the problems created by school lunches. Studies show that eating patterns established when children are in elementary school last a life time (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine – School Lunch Report Card, 2002). Since few school lunches include fruits and vegetables and most include high-fat entrees and side dishes (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine: Healthy School Lunches), we can anticipate that the school lunch eaters of today will suffer long-term health consequences associated with obesity. This puts kids at risk of developing high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, stroke, reproductive disorders, various cancers, and poor self-image (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Obesity and Overweight – Health Consequences). (Argument Three is stated and supported by evidence and reasoning)

What can schools do to solve the problem? The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine recommends a shift to more calories from vegetables and fruits, less reliance on milk as a deliverer of calcium (milk is high in fat) and less reliance on meat as a form of protein. State boards of education and health around the country, as well as the Centers for Disease Control, endorse lunch programs that offer more vegetables and grains. All health groups recommend limiting the sale of soda in the schools. With a little more care and planning, we can ensure better health for all of our school children. (The thesis is revisited and a solution is proposed)

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