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THE BASICSIn your hands you hold the basics. Technology and the internet is always changing. It is up to you to stay up to date on the on what your children are doing when it comes to technology and the internet.18 Apps and Websites Kids Are Heading to After TEXTING APPSGroupMe is an app that doesn't charge fees or have limits for direct and group messages. Users also can send photos, videos, and calendar links.What parents need to knowIt's for older teens. The embedded GIFs and emojis have some adult themes, such as drinking and sex.Teens are always connected. Without fees or limits, teens can share and text to their heart's content, which may mean they rarely put the phone down.Kik Messenger is an app that lets kids text for free. It's fast and has no message limits, character limits, or fees if you only use the basic features. Because it's an app, the texts won't show up on your kid's phone's messaging service, and you're not charged for them (beyond standard data rates).What parents need to knowStranger danger is an issue. Kik allows communication with strangers who share their Kik usernames to find people to chat with. The app allegedly has been used in high-profile crimes, including the murder of a 13-year-old girl and a child-pornography case. It's loaded with covert marketing. Kik specializes in "promoted chats" -- basically, conversations between brands and users. It also offers specially designed apps (accessible only through the main app), many of which offer products for sale.WhatsApp lets users send text messages, audio messages, videos, and photos to one or many people with no message limits or fees.What parents need to knowIt's for users 16 and over. Lots of younger teens seem to be using the app, but this age minimum has been set by WhatsApp.It can be pushy. After you sign up, it automatically connects you to all the people in your address book who also are using WhatsApp. It also encourages you to add friends who haven't signed up yet.Discord started as a place for gamers to chat while playing video games but has become a bigger platform where users can use text, voice-chat, and video-chat to discuss a wide variety of topics.What parents need to knowThere are public and private "servers" or discussion groups. Teens can join public groups, ask to join private ones, or start their own. The safest option is for them to join a private group with people they know in real life.Some groups are more moderated than others, some are NSFW, and some are hate-filled. There are plenty of groups that are meant for adults only, and some are totally tame and well moderated. If your kid is in one of the latter, the risk is much lower.PHOTO AND VIDEO-SHARING APPS AND SITESInstagram lets users snap, edit, and share photos and 15-second videos, either publicly or within a private network of followers. It unites the most popular features of social media sites: sharing, seeing, and commenting on photos. It also lets you apply fun filters and effects to your photos, making them look high-quality and artistic.What parents need to knowTeens are on the lookout for "likes." Similar to the way they use Facebook, teens may measure the "success" of their photos -- even their self-worth -- by the number of likes or comments they receive. Posting a photo or video can be problematic if teens are posting to validate their popularity.Public photos are the default. Photos and videos shared on Instagram are public unless privacy settings are adjusted. Hashtags and location information can make photos even more visible to communities beyond a teen's followers if his or her account is public.Kids can send private messages. Instagram Direct is like texting with photos or videos and you can do it with up to 15 mutual friends. These pictures don't show up on their public feeds. Although there's nothing wrong with group chats, kids may be more likely to share inappropriate stuff with their inner circles.Tik Tok - Real Short Videos is a performance- and video-sharing social network that mostly features teens lip-synching to famous songs but also includes some original songwriting and singing. Users can build up a following among friends or share posts publicly.What parents need to knowSongs and videos contain lots of iffy content. Because the platform features popular music and a mix of teen and adult users, swearing and sexual content are commonplace.There are often creepy comments. Though lots of comments are kind, videos often have comments about the performer's body or other sexual references, and since kids under 13 and adults use the app, it's especially creepy.Gaining followers and fans feels important. Teens want a public profile to get exposure and approval, and many are highly motivated to get more followers and likes for their videos.MICROBLOGGING APPS AND SITESTumblr is like a cross between a blog and Twitter: It's a streaming scrapbook of text, photos, and/or video and audio clips. Users create and follow short blogs, or "tumblogs," that can be seen by anyone online (if they're made public). Many teens have tumblogs for personal use: sharing photos, videos, musings, and things they find funny with their friends.What parents need to knowPorn is easy to find. This online hangout is hip and creative but sometimes raunchy. Pornographic images and videos and depictions of violence, self-harm, drug use, and offensive language are easily searchable.Privacy can be guarded but only through an awkward workaround. The first profile a member creates is public and viewable by anyone on the internet. Members who desire full privacy have to create a second profile, which they're able to password-protect.Posts are often copied and shared. Reblogging on Tumblr is similar to re-tweeting: A post is reblogged from one tumblog to another. Many teens like -- and, in fact, want -- their posts to be reblogged.Twitter is a microblogging tool that allows users to post brief, 140-character messages -- called "tweets" -- and follow other users' activities. It's not only for adults; teens like using it to share tidbits and keep up with news and celebrities.What parents need to knowPublic tweets are the norm for teens. Though you can choose to keep your tweets private, most teens report having public accounts. Talk to your kids about what they post and how a post can spread far and fast.Updates appear immediately. Even though you can remove tweets, your followers can still read what you wrote until it's gone. This can get kids in trouble if they say something in the heat of the moment.LIVE-STREAMING VIDEO APPSHouseparty - Group Video Chat is a way for groups of teens to connect via live video. Two to eight people can be in a chat together at the same time. If someone who's not a direct friend joins a chat, teens get an alert in case they want to leave the chat. You can also "lock" a chat so no one else can join.What parents need to knowUsers can take screenshots during a chat. Teens like to think that what happens in a chat stays in a chat, but that's not necessarily the case. It's easy for someone to take a screenshot while in a chat and share it with whomever they want.There's no moderator. Part of the fun of live video is that anything can happen, but that can also be a problem. Unlike static posts that developers may review, live video chats are spontaneous, so it's impossible to predict what kids will see, especially if they're in chats with people they don't know well.Live.me – Live Video Streaming allows kids to watch others and broadcast themselves live, earn currency from fans, and interact live with users without any control over who views their streams.What parents need to knowIt's associated with Tik Tok - including musical.ly. Because of the parent app's popularity, this streamer is very popular, and many kids who use one app use the other, too.Kids can easily see inappropriate content. During our review, we saw broadcasters cursing and using racial slurs, scantily clad broadcasters, young teens answering sexually charged questions, and more.Predatory comments are a concern. Because anyone can communicate with broadcasters, there is the potential for viewers to request sexual pictures or performances or to contact them through other social means and send private images or messages.YouNow: Broadcast, Chat, and Watch Live Video is an app that lets kids stream and watch live broadcasts. As they watch, they can comment or buy gold bars to give to other users. Ultimately, the goal is to get lots of viewers, start trending, and grow your fan base.What parents need to knowKids might make poor decisions to gain popularity. Because it's live video, kids can do or say anything and can respond to requests from viewers -- in real time. Though there seems to be moderation around iffy content (kids complain about having accounts suspended "for nothing"), there's plenty of swearing and occasional sharing of personal information with anonymous viewers.Teens can share personal information, sometimes by accident. Teens often broadcast from their bedrooms, which often have personal information visible, and they sometimes will share a phone number or an email address with viewers, not knowing who's really watching.It's creepy. Teens even broadcast themselves sleeping, which illustrates the urge to share all aspects of life, even intimate moments, publicly -- and potentially with strangers.SELF-DESTRUCTING/SECRET APPSSnapchat is a messaging app that lets users put a time limit on the pictures and videos they send before they disappear. Most teens use the app to share goofy or embarrassing photos without the risk of them going public. However, there are lots of opportunities to use it in other ways.What parents need to knowIt's a myth that Snapchats go away forever. Data is data: Whenever an image is sent, it never truly goes away. (For example, the person on the receiving end can take a screenshot of the image before it disappears.) Snapchats can even be recovered. After a major hack in December 2013 and a settlement with the FTC, Snapchat has clarified its privacy policy, but teens should stay wary.It can make sexting seem OK. The seemingly risk-free messaging might encourage users to share pictures containing sexy images.There's a lot of iffy, clicky content. Snapchat's Discover feature offers a grab-bag of articles, videos, and quizzes from magazine publishers, TV networks, and online sources mostly about pop culture, celebrities, and relationships (a typical headline: "THIS is What Sex Does To Your Brain").Whisper is a social "confessional" app that allows users to post whatever's on their minds, paired with an image. With all the emotions running through teens, anonymous outlets give them the freedom to share their feelings without fear of judgment.What parents need to knowWhispers are often sexual in nature. Some users use the app to try to hook up with people nearby, while others post "confessions" of desire. Lots of eye-catching, nearly nude pics accompany these shared secrets.Content can be dark. People normally don't confess sunshine and rainbows; common Whisper topics include insecurity, depression, substance abuse, and various lies told to employers and teachers.Although it's anonymous to start, it may not stay that way. The app encourages users to exchange personal information in the "Meet Up" section.CHATTING, MEETING, AND DATING APPS AND SITESMonkey -- Have Fun Chats. If you remember Chatroulette, where users could be randomly matched with strangers for a video chat, this is the modern version. Using Snapchat to connect, users have 10 seconds to live video-chat with strangers.What parents need to knowLots of teens are using it. Because of the connection with Snapchat, plenty of teens are always available for a quick chat -- which often leads to connecting via Snapchat and continuing the conversation through that platform.Teens can accept or reject a chat. Before beginning a chat, users receive the stranger's age, gender, and location and can choose whether to be matched or not.MeetMe: Chat and Meet New People. The name says it all. Although not marketed as a dating app, MeetMe does have a "Match" feature whereby users can "secretly admire" others, and its large user base means fast-paced communication and guaranteed attention.What parents need to knowIt's an open network. Users can chat with whomever's online, as well as search locally, opening the door to potential trouble.Lots of details are required. First and last name, age, and ZIP code are requested at registration, or you can log in using a Facebook account. The app also asks permission to use location services on your teens' mobile devices, meaning they can find the closest matches wherever they go.Omegle is a chat site that puts two strangers together in their choice of a text chat or a video chat. Being anonymous can be very attractive to teens, and Omegle provides a no-fuss way to make connections. Its "interest boxes" also let users filter potential chat partners by shared interests.What parents need to knowUsers get paired up with strangers. That's the whole premise of the app. And there's no registration required.This is not a site for kids and teens. Omegle is filled with people searching for sexual chat. Some prefer to do so live. Others offer links to porn sites.Language is a big issue. Since the chats are anonymous, they're often much more explicit than those with identifiable users might be.Yubo (formerly Yellow - Make new friends) is an app that is often called the "Tinder for teens" because users swipe right or left to accept or reject the profiles of other users. If two people swipe right on each other, they can chat and hook up via Snapchat or Instagram.What parents need to knowIt's easy to lie about your age. Even if you try to enter a birth date that indicates you're under 13, the app defaults to an acceptable age so you can create an account anyway.You have to share your location and other personal information. For the app to work, you need to let it "geotag" you. Also, there are no private profiles, so the only option is to allow anyone to find you.It encourages contact with strangers. As with Tinder, the whole point is to meet people. The difference with Yellow is that the endgame is sometimes just exchanging social media handles to connect there. Even if there's no offline contact, however, without age verification, teens are connecting with people they don't know who may be much older.Amino - Communities, Chat, Forums, and Groups is an interest-based app that lets users find people who are into the same things. Teens can join groups -- or create them -- and then post within the group, follow other users, and chat with them via text, voice, or video.What parents need to knowContact with strangers is part of the experience. While it's great for kids to be able to feel a sense of belonging and kinship with others, the mix of kids and adults blended with all varieties of chat makes it risky. Also, unless a kid is in a closed group, everything they post is public, and other users can search for them. Make sure your kid's location is not included in their profile.Mature content and bullying is common. Since each community makes its own rules, profanity, sexual references, and violent content are a part of some forums. A lot of what your kid sees, who they meet, and what people post is determined by the groups they decide to join, as some are very tame and some are definitely not for kids. It's not made with kids in mind. Because this app wasn't created for kids, it doesn't have the same safeguards or privacy standards as apps that are made for kids. The bottom line for most of these tools? If teens are using them respectfully, appropriately, and with a little parental guidance, they should be fine. Take inventory of your kids' apps and review the best practices.SZATKOWSKI’S RECOMMENDED WEBSITES: A DIGITAL ARSENAL OF INFORMATION(Check with your mobile phone service provider and/or its website for parental control options) Struggling to keep up with the media and tech your kids are using? Common Sense's Parents' Ultimate Guides can help keep you up to date and answer your questions about all the latest titles and trends. Whether you're trying to figure out if a new app is safe for your teen or if a popular game includes blood and gore, we've got you covered. (Example of monitoring software to record EVERYTHING that appears on the computer screen/monitor; ALSO USE PARENTAL CONTROLS THAT COME WITH YOUR COMPUTERS/PHONES/GAMING SYSTEMS/ i-DEVICES) Bark's watchdog engine uses advanced algorithms to look for a variety of potential issues, such as cyberbullying, sexting, drug-related content, and signs of depression.If a potential issue is detected, a text/email alert is sent to you to review the issue, along with recommended actions on how to handle the situation. (IF you permit your kids to have a smart phone, this product alerts a subscriber “when unknown people try to call, email or text message your child. Exceptional activities are logged, allowing you to view, assess and take action on questionable contacts;” also, can deactivate camera, block apps, and/or inappropriate sites or content on the web) (Example of hardware that secretly captures all keystrokes including passwords) (Monitoring software for iPhone, iPad, and iPod Touch) “Paraben's iRecovery Stick is an easy-to-use personal investigation tool to recover deleted data from iPhones and to examine the contents of an iPhone, iPad, or iTouch. Based on Paraben's digital forensic technology sold to law enforcement around the world, the iRecovery Stick will not only recover deleted data but download all the contents of the phone including things like dynamic text (words typed by the user), images sent via text, internet history, and much more. (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children-NCMEC- Interactive site for ages 5 through 17 for kids, students, parents, educators and law enforcement) (NCMEC Report websites, emails, suspicious online activity involving kids) i-SAFE combines the power of technology, traditional curriculum and the influence of social media to educate and empower students. i-SAFE is designed to provide schools and school districts with comprehensive curriculum materials and tools for equipping students with skills they need to be safe, responsible and proficient cyber citizens. (Wisconsin Sex Offender Registry) (“Based on the premise that informed, engaged parenting is essential to kids' constructive use of technology and the Net.”) the web's most comprehensive list of major and minor search engines complete with links and abstracts describing each of the search engines. (Search engines to help you find if your kids are on social networking sites or anywhere on web; search by name, phone number, e-mail, etc) The world’s largest list of chat acronyms & text message shorthand (if you don’t understand the meaning of acronyms your kids are using while chatting/texting)High-Tech Gurus: Low-Tech Parents? NEW YORK TIMES SEPTEMBER 10, 2014 By NICK BILTONWhen?Steve Jobs?was running Apple, he was known to call journalists to either pat them on the back for a recent article or, more often than not, explain how they got it wrong. I was on the receiving end of a few?of those calls. But nothing shocked me more than something Mr. Jobs said to me in late 2010 after he had finished chewing me out for something I had written about an iPad shortcoming.“So, your kids must love the iPad?” I asked Mr. Jobs, trying to change the subject. The company’s first tablet was just hitting the shelves. “They haven’t used it,” he told me. “We limit how much technology our kids use at home.”I’m sure I responded with a gasp and dumbfounded silence. I had imagined the Jobs’s household was like a nerd’s paradise: that the walls were giant touch screens, the dining table was made from tiles of iPads and that iPods were handed out to guests like chocolates on a pillow.Nope, Mr. Jobs told me, not even close.Since then, I’ve met a number of technology chief executives and venture capitalists who say similar things: they strictly limit their children’s screen time, often banning all gadgets on school nights, and allocating ascetic time limits on weekends.I was perplexed by this parenting style. After all, most parents seem to take the opposite approach, letting their children bathe in the glow of tablets, smartphones and computers, day and night.Yet these tech C.E.O.’s seem to know something that the rest of us don’t.Chris Anderson, the former editor of Wired and now chief executive of 3D Robotics, a drone maker, has instituted time limits and parental controls on every device in his home. “My kids accuse me and my wife of being fascists and overly concerned about tech, and they say that none of their friends have the same rules,” he said of his five children, 6 to 17. “That’s because we have seen the dangers of technology firsthand. I’ve seen it in myself, I don’t want to see that happen to my kids.”The?dangers?he is referring to include exposure to?harmful content?like pornography,?bullying from other kids, and perhaps worse of all, becoming addicted to their devices, just like their parents.Alex Constantinople, the chief executive of the OutCast Agency, a tech-focused communications and marketing firm, said her youngest son, who is 5, is never allowed to use gadgets during the week, and her older children, 10 to 13, are allowed only 30 minutes a day on school nights.Evan Williams, a founder of Blogger, Twitter and Medium, and his wife, Sara Williams, said that in lieu of iPads, their two young boys have hundreds of books (yes, physical ones) that they can pick up and read anytime.So how do tech moms and dads determine the proper boundary for their children? In general, it is set by age.Children under 10 seem to be most susceptible to becoming addicted, so these parents draw the line at not allowing any gadgets during the week. On weekends, there are limits of 30 minutes to two hours on iPad and smartphone use. And 10- to 14-year-olds are allowed to use computers on school nights, but only for homework.“We have a strict no screen time during the week rule for our kids,” said Lesley Gold, founder and chief executive of the SutherlandGold Group, a tech media relations and analytics company. “But you have to make allowances as they get older and need a computer for school.”Some parents also forbid teenagers from using social networks, except for services like Snapchat,?which deletes messages?after they have been sent. This way they don’t have to worry about saying something online that will haunt them later in life, one executive told me.Although some non-tech parents I know give smartphones to children as young as 8, many who work in tech wait until their child is 14. While these teenagers can make calls and text, they are not given a data plan until 16. But there is one rule that is universal among the tech parents I polled.“This is rule No. 1: There are no screens in the bedroom. Period. Ever,” Mr. Anderson said.While some tech parents assign limits based on time, others are much stricter about what their children are allowed to do with screens.Ali Partovi, a founder of iLike and adviser to Facebook, Dropbox and Zappos, said there should be a strong distinction between time spent “consuming,” like watching YouTube or playing video games, and time spent “creating” on screens.“Just as I wouldn’t dream of limiting how much time a kid can spend with her paintbrushes, or playing her piano, or writing, I think it’s absurd to limit her time spent creating computer art, editing video, or computer programming,” he said.Pornography’s grip on innocent eyesZoey Maraist?|?Catholic Herald Staff Writer3/12/19Emily was 10 years old when she first saw pornography. Her parents had talked to her about sex, but she still had questions. So, she did what anyone from her generation would do — she Googled them.The family’s computer was tucked away in a bedroom. If the computer had any child filters, they weren’t very good, said Emily, now a 23-year-old who lives in Fairfax and whose last name is?being withheld due to the sensitive nature of the topic. “(My parents) worried about (pornography) for my brothers, but I’m the oldest and I’m a girl so I think they were kind of like, ‘Oh, we don’t need to worry about it yet,’ ” she said. “I was able to easily — very easily — access the videos as a 10-year-old on my parents’ computer.” All she had to do was click a button saying she was 18 or older, and she was on.One day, her dad walked into the computer room and found her looking at pornography. She describes it as an “Adam and Eve” moment. “I made a run for it,” she said. “I ran down the street and I kept running and I hid in a bush. It felt like hours, but it was probably 20 minutes. I thought, ‘I've been caught, I'm exposed.’ I was terrified. Eventually, I came back home, and then I was hiding in a closet.”Finally, her dad found her and brought her into her parents’ bedroom to talk. “He didn’t yell at me or berate me,” she said. “He talked about sexuality as it’s created, and the reason that pornography is wrong and offensive is that it takes this very good gift the Lord has given us and twists it. It makes people into objects. It doesn’t acknowledge their worth and value as people.?“I felt a lot of the father’s love there,” said Emily. “But of course, that wasn’t the last time I looked at (porn).”?As a child, Emily would finish her schoolwork and run around her neighborhood barefoot playing with her friends. “I think the freest time in my life was literally at this age where I looked for pornography,” she said. “(That’s when) the seed of shame was planted.”?Emily’s story is not uncommon. “Over the last 10 years with the rise of cell phones, it is very, very easy for kids — not just boys but girls as well — to go (find pornography),” said Joe, a longtime diocesan youth minister whose name has been changed. “There was something with having the computer and making sure no one was around — in that time of fighting and wrestling with that, reason could sometimes come through and say, ‘This isn’t worth it.’ Now, that buffer is not built-in anymore, so there’s very little to stop a kid from flicking on their phone and going right in.”Viewers of pornography tune into a fantasy that often has a big impact on their personal reality — from their perception of what sex is, to what their own bodies are supposed to look like, to how women should be treated. Watching pornography is shown to rewire the pleasure systems of the brain so that users crave more pornography and more hardcore scenes. Studies cited in a 2016 review compiled by the diocesan Office for Child Protection and Victim Assistance show that violence against women is commonplace in today’s pornography. Furthermore, according to the review, use of internet pornography “predicted greater sexual preoccupancy, greater sexual uncertainty and greater sexual dissatisfaction.”?Recently, Eric Szatkowski, a retired special agent with the Wisconsin Department of Justice’s Crimes Against Children Task Force, spoke at Holy Trinity Church in Gainesville about the dangers of the internet, especially as it’s used by sexual predators. “Any way you look at it, pornography is just an awful thing that children and adults need to stay away from,” he said. “I think exposure to pornography also opens the door to sexual exploitation because it does reduce inhibitions. When you look at these images or videos, you start normalizing it in your own head. You think, ‘Look, other people are doing this, it’s really not bad.’ ”?Joe believes pornography has impacted the modern dating culture as well. “I’ve had girls that have come to me in the past to say, ‘You know, I liked this guy and the first thing he wanted was just to have sex,” said Joe. “With pornographic content, the storylines they come up with (portray people having sex very quickly after meeting). It completely distorts the understanding of approaching a girl or a guy and what that should look like.”?It also complicates dating for young women who are uncomfortable with having sex, says Joe. “I feel so bad for girls. They recognize what they get in guys is not good, so they either compromise or they say, ‘I’m not going to settle.’ But they really don’t find anyone that is worthy (to date) until way into college. There’s a certain level of disappointment that I see in girls, which can lead to self-esteem issues and things like that.”?Emily was raised to know pornography and masturbation were wrong, but she still struggled throughout middle and high school. “I did all of the Catholic stuff as a teenager. I did the conferences, I went to youth group, but no one ever talks about it,” Emily paused. “I should say, they talk about it for the guys. In the girls talk it’s, ‘You’re a beautiful princess angel of the Lord.’ So I’m over here thinking I'm completely alone. As I come to find out, probably 40 to 50 percent of the other girls are also feeling the same way.”?With so much shame surrounding this issue, it can be difficult for parishes and parents to address it. “I don’t see a lot of youth ministry programs really focusing on it,” said Joe. “Anytime you do a presentation on pornography, nobody wants to show up because they don’t want to be labeled as a person watching porn. But I think we need to incorporate it as part of our sexuality formation.” Kevin Bohli, executive director of Youth, Campus, and young Adult Ministries, said some schools and churches use Theology of the Body for Teens, which covers pornography.The teens who watch pornography are too scared and ashamed to tell their parents, according to Joe, so he hopes parents can direct their children to a trusted adult confidant, in addition to letting their child know they support them unconditionally.?“St. John Paul II said the problem with pornography is that it doesn’t show enough, meaning that all you see is the physical act of two people. You don’t see the love that’s supposed to be there between the man and the woman,” said Joe. “A kid that starts watching porn at 13 or some as early as 11, by the time they’re out of high school, they’ve developed this habit for wanting the cheap imitation and truly missing out on the beautiful reality of what they’re called to have.”?In college at Franciscan University of Steubenville, Emily began a ministry for women who struggle with pornography and masturbation, a group that continues today. “I have not found a single person today who has not been affected by pornography, whether it be a family member, a spouse or more likely themselves. You’re not alone — I wish that someone had told me,” she said. “It breaks my heart because girls get so stuck in the cycle of it and they can’t reach out for help. You see yourself as so dirty, but the Lord wants you.”?In Emily’s fight against sexual sin, remembering God’s love has made all the difference, she said. “I do grieve my childhood and my innocence, but I don’t grieve the fact it's something I fell into because the Lord uses our wounds in ways that we could never have imagined,” said Emily. “The most tender, painful, embarrassing, festering part of my soul for a good portion of my life is now the biggest place of redemption.”? ................
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