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Family Matters Bible Study Series (Teachers)Lesson #5 “Living In Your Roles”Scripture: Genesis 2:18-24 (KJJV), Ephesians 5:22-24 (NKJV)By: Pastor Terrell TaylorIntroduction: For the past two lessons we’ve been talking about our roles in our marriage, the role of the Husband and the role of the Wife. Now, the goal that First Lady Taylor and I, have is to turn all of that into Practical Application by ask several questions.1. How do we live in our roles?2. How do we walk and grow in our roles as God designed them? 3. How do we allow the Word of God to actually change our marriages? Let’s remember, we’re talking about God’s Design for marriage. We’re not talking about another good idea from the wisdom of the world. We’re talking about God’s supernatural, divine design for marriage. I. How Do We Live In our Roles? Before we answer that question, let’s see some Examples of what living in our roles looks like in the Word of God. 1. Living in the Husband’s Role Remember in lesson #3 God’s Design for the Role of the Husband is to:a. Sacrificially Lead his wife – Ephesians 5:23 (NKJV)b. Sacrificially Love his wife – Ephesians 5:25-29 (NKJV) Let me share with you one example in the New Testament of Jesus both leading and loving his bride. In John 13:1-3; 12-15 (NLT), “Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father. He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end. 2 It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. 4 So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, 5 and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.” John 13:12-15 (NLT) 12 “After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.”Jesus was facing his greatest hour of trial and testing. He was carrying the tremendous burden of knowing he was about to be betrayed, arrested, beaten, crucified. He was facing a burden greater than any Husband will ever face, and He set aside his own burden and stress and he became a servant leader, to Lead and Love his disciples. He did it to show those he loved the way to say to them, “Now you follow my example, do as I do.” Men this scripture tells us how we aren’t to Live in our Role as Christian Husbands. By setting aside our own feelings, your own stresses and trials and doing something Sacrificial for your wife, to wash away the effects of her day. Husbands demonstrate your leadership and love for your wife and family by making sure that their needs are met. Husbands, can you say that to your wife and family, can you say, “Do as I have done to you?” Do you see how Christ’s leading and loving the church and the disciples was always wrapped up in humility? In Philippians 2:7 it says Christ “Emptied Himself,” “He made himself nothing” and he sacrificially loved the church to his own death. We see that sacrificial love all through the Gospels. In total humility Jesus Christ put his love into action to Serve, to heal and to give life to his bride.Brothers Jesus is compelling us to live out our roles as husbands by zeroing on your wife and family and to do whatever is necessary to help them, no matter the cost. Jesus loved His own. Do you? 2. Living in the Wife’s RoleRemember in lesson #4 God’s Design for the Role of the Wife is to:a. Sacrificially Help her husband – Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)b. Sacrificially Support her husband – Ephesians 5:22-24 (NKJV) a. Sacrificially HelpWives, more than anything else your husband needs your Help and Support. Let’s start with sacrificially help, and one of the ways to do that is at home. I understand that this could be complicated when both husband and wife work outside the home. In Titus 2:4-5 (NKJV) Paul is giving instruction for the older women in Teaching the younger women.Titus 2:4-5 (NKJV) “[see] that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”I want to focus on just that word: Homemakers. For the word homemakers the ESV and the NLT translate both as “Working at home.” This word means to keep watch over (care for) the affairs of the house. In I Timothy 5:14 (NKJV) notice in these verse it says “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, Manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” The phrase “manage the house” means to Guide or Direct the affairs of the household. This is a different word than we looked at for the role of the husband.1. For the husband – to influence to follow, to lead2. For the wife – to guide / direct affairs of the householdSo the first critical way for a wife to live in her role is to keep watch over, to guide, the affairs of the household. Again, I understand this requires some further discussion when both husband and wife work full-time outside the house.All I can tell you, is one of the vital reasons I can stand here, fulfilling my role in the church, is because I have the absolute best manager and guide of household affairs that I could ever ask God for. And if I didn’t, I absolutely could not do what I do in the ministry.b. A Manager Often, when a wife thinks that managing and guiding the household affairs isn’t a big enough or high enough calling, it’s usually because they have been ripped off in their thinking, whether by the world around them or by the enemy. Let me say again, in a culture where often the husband and wife both work outside the home, this requires some extra delicate discussion. But God knew our culture when he wrote the Bible. And I want you to know, one of the best ways a wife can live in her role is to be an excellent manager and guide of the household affairs.Wives, I am going to let you in on a little secret. Men are only tough on the outside. You may think supporting your husband on the outside is most important, like guiding and managing the home, but I need you to hear me. There’s actually a greater need for your support on the inside. Your husband really needs your encouragement and support emotionally on the inside. And one of the vital ingredients for your husband to feel helped and supported is simply this:c. RespectRespect is the “magic ingredient” for your husband to feel supported. Remember we talked about tense, voice and mood when we looked at the word love (Agapa) in lesson #3? The Greek mood aspect of “love” for the husband was the imperative – meaning it was a command by God. Not so for the word “Respect.” Here, the Greek mood is “subjunctive” and the subjunctive mood is best defined as “Making a choice.” In other words, in the Greek we could say, “Wives, choose to respect your husbands.” And often, if a wife will choose to respect her husband as the leader, he will become the leader of your home. Look at the following scriptures: 1. Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV) “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Wives, I promise you, if you want to build your house instead of pulling it down, choose to respect your husband. And what if your husband is an unbeliever – or is just acting like one?” 2. I Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your Respectful and Pure Conduct.”Wives, if you desire to build your house instead of tear it down, choose to respect your husband. It will go a long way.Finally, in Ephesians 5:33 (NLT) we see the perfect wrap up verse. In it we see what both the wife and the husband need.“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”1. What does the wife need?She needs to be Loved as her husband’s own body.2. What does the husband need?He needs to be Respected by his wife.We all may be feeling some pain right about now. But, take hope, help is on the way. There is so much more to say about living in our roles as husbands and wives. But what I’ve found more often than not; is it’s not that we don’t know what our roles are, it’s that we don’t know how to live in them. ................
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