7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussion Topics

[Pages:4]7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussion Topics

Marriage Ministry leaders are constantly looking for fresh, new, and interesting topics to discuss and creative ways to discuss them. Below is my list of 7 discussion topics for your Marriage Ministry in 2016. Enjoy.

1. The Eulogy

You have lived to the ripe-old-age of 100 years old. Last week you passed away peacefully in your sleep. At your funeral, your grandchildren are going to eulogize you. You are one of those grandchildren! Activity: Create a eulogy for yourself...from your grandchild's perspective. Addressing what kind of person you were in the following six areas: 1) a parent, 2) a spouse, 3) your work, 4) your ministry (service), 5) your character, 6) and your financial stewardship. Each couple will stand before the group and present their eulogies together (one after the other). The ministry leader will act as the presiding elder over the home-going service to provide some comic-relief. Discussion: Discuss how closely each person is to actually becoming the person they want to be. Proverbs 22:1; Ecclesiastes 7:1

2. The 2-Minute Drill

If an effort to be 'right', sometimes couples over-talk each other and fail to understand the true meaning of what their spouse is saying. The 2-Minute Drill allows each person to be heard and understood...as they discuss sensitive issues in their marriage. Activity: Couples shall spread out throughout the room and sit face-to-face. The moderator sets a timer for 2minutes. When the moderator starts the timer (signified by playing a bell tone on their smartphone), one spouse has 2-minutes to answer a pre-determined question. The listening spouse cannot interrupt, interject, or stop the talking spouse during their 2-minutes. After the 2-minutes is up (signified by playing a bell tone), they switch roles. The new talking spouse has 2-minutes to respond, rebut, or say whatever they want. And the new listening spouse cannot interrupt, interject, or stop the talking spouse during their 2-minutes. Repeat until you feel it's time to move on to the next question. Helpful Hints: 1) Allow approximately 10 minutes per question. 2) Play music during this activity to allow for privacy. 3) Dim the lights to set the mood for intimate conversation. Romans 12:18; James 4:1

Copyright ? 2016 His Leadership Her Trust

7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussions

3. The Faithfulness Myth

Forget the words adultery, affair, or infidelity for now. Even if you haven't done these things, you still might be unfaithful to your spouse...and don't even know it. The myth about being faithful is the expectation that you have forsaken all other people and are 100% committed to your spouse. Even if you've done that, you still might be unfaithful to your spouse because you are more committed to these five things than you are committed to him or her: 1) your past, 2) your pain, 3) your positional status, 4) your power, 5) people-pleasing. Reference this article for explanations of each area. Discuss: Use each area to discuss whether couples are unknowingly being unfaithful in their marriage. Discuss how they will work on being faithful to their spouse in each area. Helpful Hint: Use the 2-Minute Drill as a tool for couples to discuss how they will work on being faithful to each other. Philippians 3:12-14; Romans 12:1-3

4. Us and Them

Married couples interact with two groups of people: `us' ? your spouse and children, and `them' ? everyone else. Based on your value system, each person has their own way they prefer to deal with `them'. Sometimes those ways clash...causing conflict between `us'. Discussion: Discuss how `us' Christian couples should balance the following three areas in dealing with `them': 1) privacy (not letting other people in our business), 2) accountability (Christian accountability one to another), and 3) mentoring (helping a younger couple navigate these choppy matrimonial waters) between us and them? Discuss the biblical responsibility to do all three juxtapose to risk and reality of doing all three. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12; Proverbs 27:17; Timothy 2:2; Titus 2:2-5

5. Self-Preservation Mode

Self-Preservation Mode is where one, or both spouses, are no longer trying to work together to accomplish a goal or solve a problem, but are primarily focused on protecting themselves from any potential negative outcome. This is usually triggered in a marriage by some decision that puts the family at risk of emotional, mental, financial, or physical harm, and one feel's it's time to protect their self. Discussion: Discuss what circumstances/decision-areas trigger each spouse to go into Self Preservation Mode. Discuss what they can do to avoid going there in the future. Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 10:24; 1 Samuel 25

Copyright ? 2016 His Leadership Her Trust

7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussions

6. Novice vs. Expert Marriages

The Dreyfus Brother identified a five-step process to grow from a novice to an expert decision maker. The difference between the two is the extent to which a novice strictly adheres to following rules vs. an expert who freely follows situational guidelines. In the New Testament, the Pharisees were spiritual novices because they were stuck on following the Law to the letter. However, Jesus, the spiritual expert, was trying to get them to freely follow situational guidelines pertaining to God's will. The same can be said about marriages. Novice marriages try to stick to specific rules, while expert marriages more freely follow situational guidelines. Discussion: Identify some of these marital rules novices follow, which experts don't anymore. Discuss how couples can grow in their decision making from a novice to an expert marriage. Discuss how couples can grow from being a spiritual novice to a spiritual expert. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

7. Relationship Security

Humans have a basic human need for safety, security, and stability. We seek it out individually and in the relationships into which we enter. Thus, security in relationships is highly sought after by both the husband and wife. But the way each spouse achieves it varies by the individual. There are three types of security sought after in relationships: 1) Financial Security- having enough money for now and the future, 2) Physical Security feeling safe from physical harm, and 3) Emotional Security - knowing your spouse cares about your feelings and concerns. Discussion: Discuss what security means to them individually and as a couple. Discuss what physical, financial, and emotional security looks like to each of them in their relationship and what they can do for one another to provide that security. Ephesians 5:25-32; 1 Peter 3:1-6

Copyright ? 2016 His Leadership Her Trust

7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussions

15 2-Minute Drill Questions

Below are 15 questions that you can use for the 2-Minute Drill activity. Select 5-7 questions per session. Feel free to add your own questions to this list. 1. I feel loved when... 2. I feel valued when... 3. I feel appreciated when... 4. I get excited when... 5. I feel angry when... 6. I feel frustrated when... 7. I am disappointed when... 8. When you don't talk to me, I... 9. When you don't listen to me, I... 10. I feel you talk too much when... 11. I feel your relationship with... is... 12. I wish you would help me more with... 13. I wish you would stop... 14. I wish you would start... 15. I wish you would continue...

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Copyright ? 2016 His Leadership Her Trust

7 Fresh, New, & Interesting Marriage Ministry Discussions

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