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Episode 58: Ground and Centering with Joi BonmanMon, 11/9 1:37PM ? 1:14:23SUMMARY KEYWORDSpeople, grounding, witch, centering, joi, feel, herbs, sacred, magic, true, card, care, witches, practice, mists, literally, friends, candles, happen, questionSPEAKERSKanani, Courtney , Intro music, Joi Bonman, Hilary, (Exit Music)Intro music 00:0320 years ago, three young friends realized they were witches. They scattered to different parts of the world, following magic and spirit. Now, they're back in their hometown to share what they've learned. Welcome to That Witch Life Podcast. Your home for living as a witch in today's world. Courtney 00:48Hi, everybody. Welcome back to that witch life podcast. I'm Courtney. And I'm your host today and I am here with Kanani.Kanani 00:55Hello,Courtney 00:57and Hilary. Hilary 00:58Hello. Courtney 01:00And today's episode is all about grounding and centering. I'm so thankful we're doing this episode today. Joy bondmen. Yes. Yeah. Joy Bowman, who is a witch artisan and the co host of Little Black Witch podcast is going to join us to talk about ways we can ground and center because the three of us needed terribly. Kanani made her husband watched the original craft and apparently he's doing a review about it.Kanani 01:31And No, I didn't. Courtney 01:33You didn't? Hilary 01:34What happened?Kanani 01:34I didn't. I had I had every intention of doing it. But then we sort of had a major election that was happening, which kind of took a lot of our timeCourtney 01:43Oh yeahhhhhKanani 01:45Did something happen?Courtney 01:47Oh we overthrew a totalitarian or authoritarian.Kanani 01:51Yeah, that was a big deal. So we've been watching that and not necessarily anything else. So that's pretty much consumed our world for the last five daysCourtney 02:03watching dancing in the streets and weeping over it and telling your daughter that yes, she too can be vice president if not president one day,Kanani 02:10pretty much exactly how yesterday went, Yes.Hilary 02:12So just a small, so small thing then...just small. Just no big deal. No big deal.Courtney 02:17I think we were all been I asked myself where this last week when? And I honestly don't know. And you know, I remember sitting there refreshing the NPR map every 30 seconds for the last seven days.Hilary 02:28Yep, same.Courtney 02:29Okay,Kanani 02:30That was, I have I have slept so little. I actually had horrible I'm I think it's a little better today. I'm hoping it gets better today. I actually I was so happy yesterday and yet I was having horrible migraines. And so I just pretty much spent the whole day like trying to out of the corner of my eye watch the news while laying down in a dark room. Happy but also in pain. Because I just haven't slept all week because every night I would like get up in the middle of the night and like watch the news for a couple hours like for the love has anything changed like Nevada, get off the toilet and throughout some work with me here.Courtney 03:15I fuckin love how it was like Pennsylvania said okay, we've decided about I was like Yeah, me too. Me too. I decided we're like, oh my god, Nevada. They are so the little sister that just didn't show up. Yeah. And was like I don't want to play I don't want to play I don't want to play Oh, their big sister gets and I want to play I want to play want to play. That's what it felt like to me.Hilary 03:31That's totally what it felt like and also, God bless all of the Nevada memes like it was like the light in the dark of stress. For me. I was like every time one came around, I was like, oh my god. Yes. Also count the fucking votes. Please.Kanani 03:49Can we please just check a couple of these off the map? Like work with me people?Courtney 03:55Yeah, God in the Nevada means are so good. Oh, God. So funny when we got the word. Also, I was like, Why do I feel like I have this great expanse in my chest and went, Oh, I've been holding my breath for four years. I now have more lung capacity than I have had since end of 2016. Kanani 04:13Yeah.Hilary 04:15And can we just like I just want to take a moment to be like, we owe everything to black women. And sorry, we owe everything to black women. And the Navajo Nation for the selection like like if it wasn't for the black women's vote, and all the work that Stacey Abrams did in Georgia. This wouldn't have happened. And like the Navajo, the Navajo nation who has been hit so extraordinarily hard by Coronavirus, came out with 97% of their vote for Biden. So like, like what a gift.Courtney 04:50I had a surprise for the two of you that was on theme with Kanani's husband watching the craft. So now it's kind of off theme, but we're still gonna do it anyway. And that He ruined it. That's what I'm gonna tell them. I mean, it's my fault, but we can't say that so we're just gonna, we'll blame him.Hilary 05:07You know, what you need to do is you always blame it on him.Kanani 05:11Well, but that's my man. That's what keeps me going is the fact that he allows that to happen. Regardless.Hilary 05:16You're like, I did it, but I'm blaming you. And he's like, Okay, I guess that's fine. Kanani 05:20He just rolls his eyes and he's like, sounds good.Courtney 05:22It was like the time for dinner. I ordered you guys Pizza Hut and I also ordered you cookie frosting and it didn't come and so you automatically blamed her husband like, clearly this is your fault that pizza did not deliver God.Kanani 05:36And he just looks at me he's like, Okay,Hilary 05:38he's like, Yeah, sure, that works, I guess. so,Courtney 05:43Anyway, the surprise was going to I'm giving you each a tarot reading from Rachael True's, new tarot deck, the True Heart Intuitive Tarot guide, book and deck, which is wonderful. I've been playing with it for a while. And I'm going to if you to consent, I will read for both of you, and everybody can get a chance to hear it. And as many may know, Rachel play the character Rochelle, in the original Craft movie, and she's a wonderful witch. And then on the total badass, she's wonderful. So we're gonna mess around with that. But the meantime, um, how is everyone? How are we feeling grounded and centered, how's our grounding and centering going?Hilary 06:27I mean, it's like, this week was such a whirlwind. You know, like, I think there was like, in my, like, I kept being like, I know this is going to happen, but like, not seeingn it. It's like, you know, it's like, you come out, you haven't experienced where you know, something is going to happen. But you have to wait to get the word. And I was like, but then during that time period, you start to have so much doubt that it's actually going to happen. That was me all week. So it was just like, panic, panic, panic, I'm gonna be like, okay, Hilary, calm it down, it's gonna be okay. And then like, panic, panic, panic, panic. So it was a whirlwind of a week, and I'm just thrilled at where we are, there's a tremendous amount of work to do still, but I'm very happy that we are going to a place where we can actually do that work, as opposed to not even being able to start a whirlwind of a week, but a good one.Courtney 07:19Well, Kanani, besides migraines, how's your grounding and centering going during this time?Kanani 07:24Yeah. Um, lack of sleep induced migraines. Um, I would say, there's not been a whole lot of grounding and centering. I have, I think one of the things that I've, I've come to realize is, you know, kind of like you guys, you feel like, this is what's gonna happen, you feel like, you know, the outcome, but until it actually happens, you know, there's that anxiety if, what if, you know, what if I'm wrong, and so for me, you know, I wasn't sleeping, well, I would get up, you know, I get up every night I have for I don't know how many I can't remember a time when I wasn't waking up at least once or twice every night. But, but this time, it's like, I would wake up and I would be up for two or three hours, instead of just, you know, up for five minutes to use the restroom and get some water or something like that. So I missed significant amount of sleep. And that does not bode well for my body, it often makes me physically sick. So that turned into migraines at the end of the week, but um, you know, I, I spent so much yesterday crying, which I have not done in so long. And it was not sad crying, it was just touched crying, um, but just, you know, being very emotional, and just a lot of pent up anxiety and frustration just kind of coming out in a very positive way. And we've spent so much of the last, you know, six months watching people, you know, angrily, well, for years of people marching in the streets, trying to have their voice be heard, trying to stand up for the rights and say that we're here, and we're not gonna allow this to happen. And then, you know, the last six months, we've had protests of people trying to get attention and fight for the rights. And so we've seen a lot of people in the streets. And sadly, it's it's been to, you know, try and show we're here, we're not going away. And because they're scared and they're being threatened. So to see people by the 10s of thousands floo streets to dance, Courtney 09:42yes. Kanani 09:43And to celebrate, it's making me tear up just thinking about Yeah,Hilary 09:46Yeah it was so beautifulKanani 09:49My heart needed that. I mean, my heart needed that my eyes needed to see that. I just think that because I was thinking to myself, I can't remember the last time that this country celebrated.Hilary 10:03Yeah, Kanani 10:04we've seen people in mass in the streets for the last four years, but it was never a good thing. It was never, you know, a positive thing. I mean, you know, the Women's March, of course, is a positive thing, but they're not out marching because they feel like they're being valued, you know. And so to see that was, it was so helpful to my soul that like today, when I woke up, had a slightly less of a migraine, which was nice. I ended up putting on my like softest coziest jammies that I just bought myself. And so I'm like, I'm just gonna wear soft clothes for the next soft jammies for the next week, and pamper myself and I've taken a bath to try and relax every day, with some really nice calming bath salts. And, you know, I'm just kind of trying to do a lot of a lot of it's been a lot of, I think, self care, just to try and maintain. So I'm excited at the thought of eventually the self care will actually be to better, you know, my mental state instead of just keeping me from losing my mind.Courtney 11:10Yeah. Well, I'm offering something nice to both of you in that. It's time for me to do your tarot readings.Hilary 11:17You're gonna be a nice person?Courtney 11:19I am a nice, generous person. I'm going to read your Tarot without you strong arming me and telling and just insisting that's going to happen. So who would like to go first?Hilary 11:29I'll go first.Courtney 11:30Okay, what would you like to know? Hilary 11:34Oh, wait, I didn't prepare what I need. I'm like, wait. So here, I'll give it we'll do this. I have a lot of things going on professionally in my life. And I want to see both for our podcast and including our podcast, but I'm really working towards buying a home. And so I want to see you know, these things that I've laid in place to set myself up for success in a career sense. I want to see how those might play out.Courtney 12:07Okay, so I often find with Tarot that one card can usually give you everything that you need. And then I pull other cards if I need to, but I'm, I'm what they call an anarchistic tarot reader. And I don't actually use spreads, even though in my book, I provide a lot of spreads. I actually just let the cards answer. So the question that Hillary you have is, you know, what can you expect from the projects that you have going on? Um, do I hear that correctly?Hilary 12:35Yeah. Like, what can I expect from the groundwork I've laid in all of these projects, both creatively? And in a career sense?Courtney 12:45All right, let me see what the True Heart Intuitive Tarot has to say, okay, it's the eight of swords, which is definitely a busy person's card, I'm gonna see what Rachel has to say, hold on. One of the things I really like about this deck is that it gives you the option for the high vibe and the low vibe. So in this, it's like the things that you can brace about this card, each card, which some of the cards are kind of traditionally, antagonistic. But this way, she shows us both how they could be both an asset but also perhaps a, you know, a detriment. And so for the eight of swords, which is depicted as a feminine presenting person with very long hair who's bound up and blindfolded, and their hair is very long, and it's tied up with all these swords, it's a really badass image, like the high vibe of this is choice, confidence, surefootedness, determination, acceptance and movement, whereas the low vibe is indecision, feeling stuck, no options, anxiety, insecurity, and passivity. So when I see this, looking at what Rachel says, and also what I'm what I'm getting, just from the image of this card is that you know, you're already really tied up with a lot of very powerful things. The sword is a powerful image. What it says to me though, is, is be very intentional about which projects in which things you're working with to get your energy so that the things that are the most promising get the right get the most support from you. Whereas things that either could could be on the backburner for a little while, can go there. So this to me feels like the best way for success is to make sure that prioritizing is an order.Hilary 14:28That makes sense that makes a lot of sense to me, because that's kind of what I've been doing recently is like looking at all the things I'm doing and going, where does my focus need to lie to get me to where I want to go? You know, like, in the sense that like, not that I have to, can things that don't get me there, but that I'm that there that that I'm not eat that I'm not spreading myself so thin that I'm taking away from the projects that are getting me where I need to go.Courtney 14:57Exactly, exactly, and so, it is I think that to me that the that right the spirit of Rachel True is telling you prioritize. Alright Kanani, what do you want to know?Kanani 15:08I would say Actually, I'm kind of in the same same line with Hillary as far as. As you both know, I've been kind of trying to manifest all my energy into selling our current place so that we can buy a home with a yard because going through COVID locked up in a place with no yard has been increasingly difficult. And so we're hoping, in the spring to make a move. And so I guess I would just want to see what you know, how is that on track? And and where do I need to go with that?Courtney 15:45All right. So let me see. For Kanani manifesting the new home how I I will sometimes do yes or no questions, but I like to sometimes get the teros like Taro, how is this going? Because then you can you can work with that and change that as opposed to a yes and no question which so I'm gonna say how is this Kananii's approach to getting a new home? How is that going? Oh, Kanani it sucks. hahahahaHilary 16:11You're such a dickKanani 16:14Just like my life, that sounds like 2020.Courtney 16:20Oh, I'm such a dick. Okay, hold on. Actually, you guys.Kanani 16:23I was like, do I really want a card reading? Do I really want to know, right? You're like, Do I want is this really a gift? I'm not so sure.Courtney 16:31Truth is what you got. kanani is the three of disks, which Rachel's interpretation says the high vibe of this card is craftsmanship, teamwork, hard work, planning stages, mentorship and collaboration. Whereas the low vibe is laziness incompatibility, ego conflict, disorganization, lack of motivation. You know, to me, this is based on what she says. And also looking at the cards which are two, which are three people two of which are feminine presenting one is more masculine presenting, and they're all sitting together in a yard. So for me this, this image already says you're moving in that direction. But what seems like what is really key is to continue the collaboration that I know that you have with your family, because you've been talking about that, like, as much as you rag on your husband, you two are actually a really solid team. And so what I think is where I get a sense from both Rachel's interpretation and this card, your challenge to that is, is getting tired and overwhelmed in in leaning too much into that as not as a, okay, we need to take a break, and then we'll get reorganized and get back into it, but not letting the overwhelm become the status quo, which I think is I know, I don't know you to be this way you tend to when you get tired work harder, which I don't know if it's necessarily the best way to go about things. Kanani 17:49No, it's true.Courtney 17:51But, um, I think or focusing on on things that maybe aren't quite as aligned with this. So I, I see this honestly, for both of you is a very positive sign. I'll pull a card for myself, and then you guys can give me your interpretation. What do I want to know?Kanani 18:10How do we give you an interpretation when we can't see the card?Courtney 18:14You can imagineKanani 18:17that is a terrible idea. Courtney 18:18Ah, well, Hillary can do it. I want I don't really not sure I want your interpretation anyway.Kanani 18:24Well, you have to at least send us a picture of the card.Courtney 18:27Yeah. So truth be told, I really, you know, I really want my writing to to flourish and take off and you know, that that's, that's, that's just a big thing for me. So I want to know how I can make that happen. Oh, my God, I got the eight of swords.Hilary 18:46Ah, ha ha ha ha.Courtney 18:49Well, that's no fun for interpretationKanani 18:51Well that's easy. Just give yourself your own reading.Courtney 18:55I'm getting one from you, too. I need a new car. Come on, Rachel.Hilary 18:57No, no, come on. Kanani 18:58No, you can't do that. Hilary 19:01But that's like, that's actually pretty interesting, because it's probably pretty similar, you know, in the sense that you, like me, like all of us haveKanani 19:12take on too many projectsHilary 19:14yes And it's very easy, like again,Kanani 19:17and need to prioritize.Hilary 19:19Yeah, and I think it's easy. What I'm really getting here is it's easy. You're a person that's kind and wants to help and wants to be there for people and wants to support people. And like I think that that is a beautiful trait. That's something that I have that's something that Kanani sometimes has. Not so much No not as much. No Kanani is amazing, um, but but sometimes and I know this, because I do the similar thing, which is I want to do, I like get so excited in it. It brings me so much joy and supporting others, right. But sometimes what that can do is that it takes away bandwidth for the things that I need. And so what I'm really feeling here, at least from a, like an intuitive level is like, now is the time for you to take a look at your things and be okay, like truly okay. Not saying I'm not going to help anyone anymore. That's not what I'm saying. But that it's okay not to be the person that helps save everyone.Courtney 20:24Yeah, I mean, I think it's also telling that I got a card that's very similar to the two of yours because I think that's when you when you do practice magic or with other people or with you associate with other witches, you often find you're working through the same things, which can be great, because then you can, you can see yourself in that and makes your work better, it can also be a kind of it can also be uncomfortable. So putting that out there for everyone. So that makes sense. But I also secretly did pull another card for myself and I got the ace of coins, which I'm going to take that as a card of success. Yay. Anyway, thank you both. And thank you, Rachel. True, this is a really good deck. A lot of people ask me about good decks for beginners. And there are so many wonderful decks out there, but it's hard to find decks that I would say are really good for beginners. And I would recommend this one because they the cards really, I think the most important thing with a tarot deck is do the cards tell story, not just are they pretty, because there's a lot of really beautiful decks out there that don't tell a story. But this deck tells a story. And it's very clear and it's also there's it's a great deal of diversity and representation. It's not full of skinny white people. And her book is great because it also has a lot of her journey in the in the terror, like of how the terror has manifested for her. And I feel like the personal story is so important for anything that that involves the spirit, but especially when you're trying to learn something like the Tarot to be able to see that level of personalization is wonderful. So again, this is the True Heart Intuitive Tarot and guidebook. One other shout out, I still have a few tickets left for my Dangerous Goddess class, which is tomorrow, November 10, at 7pm Central, which is 5pm Pacific or 8pm, New York City time. And we're looking at three different goddesses in the class, Bridgid, the Morrigan and Hekate. And talking about how that the power in the Goddess is especially areas that people might find scary, or sometimes a goddess could get a label as being really sweet and loving, when actually she can be quite a force to reckoned with. So I would love to see you all there it is virtual, and it is recorded. So if you can't join us on the on the 10th you will get it later and it is ASL accessible. So, meanwhile, giving a wonderful warm thank you to all of our Patreon supporters. So this week, we have something very two very exciting things coming out for our Patreon of every level Joy bondmen is giving us a grounding and centering meditation, which you'll be able to access as a Patreon member. So after all this talk that we'll be giving with her about how to ground and about grounding and centering and the importance, she's going to show you how to do it. So please consider joining us and I'm so excited about this, I cannot wait to find out who is selected. We are having our Patreon supporters choose our final guest of the year from the guests that we have already interviewed. So there is going to be a massive list because we've talked to a lot of people this year, that will be given out to our Patreon supporters and they can vote for who they want as many people as they want. It also helps us get a sense of the kind of content that's really impacting all of you and help us plan for 2021. And depending on that person's availability, we'll be inviting this guest back to return for a live zoom interview with our Patreon supporters. So if you've been listening to the show for a while, who did you love? Who do you want to talk to? Who do you have questions for? So again, Patreon supporters of every level gets access to these things. And those who join at the $5 or above level get to join our Witch Squad which gives you access to our private Facebook page, allowing you to connect with different witches all around the world who are into That Witch Life Podcast and magic just like you also gives you access to our special quarterly events. We have some really really interesting things we are cooking up for 2021 and we'd love to have you with us. Other ways to support the show. If you can't do a monthly donation you can buy us a coffee or by that which life merchandise on Etsy. You can also consider becoming an episode sponsor. It's a great way to promote your business to thousands of witches. Or you can purchase a shout out letting people know about your virtual event or just send some love to your favorite witch. For the month of November we are giving 10% of all of our proceeds to the Enchanted Forest, which is a small business, a theme park here in Oregon. We've talked about this a lot. This is a really magical wonderful place that is a storybook themed amusement park. And it is a true labor of love and magic that's been run by a single family for almost 50 years. And because of COVID, they've not been able to open at full capacity. They also experienced some devastating losses to members of their family because of the fires here in Oregon, so this family has been through a lot, and we don't want to see them lose their business. And we also don't want to lose the Enchanted Forest. Hilary 25:27Yeah we are like, we are literally obsessed. In fact, I am drinking out of an Enchanted Forest mug as we speak.Courtney 25:33Again, find out more on our website at and with that, are we ready for a word from our sponsors? Hilary 25:40Yes, we are. Courtney 25:41Since this pandemic began, we’ve received a ton of requests from listeners wanting Witchcraft training that they can do from home. Therefore, we are delighted to have Sacred Mists Academy of Magickal Arts and Sciences as an episode sponsor! Since 2002, Sacred Mists Academy has offered comprehensive online Magickal training programs with working witches around the world including First through Third Degree Wicca training, with an Elder program available for initiates of the Sacred Mists tradition. Other programs include Historical Paganism, Herbalist Certifications, Spell Crafting Classes, Tarot Courses, Reiki Training, and More! I (Courtney) am proud to offer a Spellcrafting and Spell Casting certification through Sacred Mists, so if you join, you can take my class and really get your spell-casting skills in shape! All courses have their own private groups where students can gather and connect with other students. Students also have access to the Sacred Mists Circle, a completely private, student-only social media platform (NOT facebook!) with profile pages, discussion boards, groups, blogs, a searchable Book of Shadows, videos, music, and more! Other Sacred Mists Academy social groups include witch crafting, if you’re interested in creating your own tools, a divination group to discuss decks and share readings, empath groups to explore this gift and learn about shielding, healing, kitchen witchcraft, and more! Join the Sacred Mists live chats for rituals (sabbats, esbats, healing), live divination readings, study halls, and social gatherings for and by students. To enroll, go to sacred mists academy dot com and enter WITCHLIFE during registration to receive FREE ENROLLMENT, a savings of $30. Monthly tuition then depends on which course or courses you take. Limit one per student, available until December Thirty First, 2020. Manifest The Change You Want To See In Yourself And The World Around You through Sacred Mists Academy. Thank you to Sacred Mists for being an episode sponsor! Kanani 27:40The Sacred Mists Academy is a tremendous learning resource, But guess what? Sacred Mists also has a shoppe, offering over a thousand witchcraft tools, supplies and gifts including crystals and gemstones, incense and candles, including hand-rolled beeswax spell candles, and other spell supplies. This is literally a one-stop shop for Witchcraft supplies,. Sacred Mists Shoppe also offers over 75 plant seeds specifically curated for the Witch’s garden including healing and magickal herbs, flowers, and plant seeds, just a few of which include belladonna, mandrake, sweetgrass, moonflower, patchouli, elderberry and mugwort, and many more! Their divination tools include Tarot and oracle decks, and a gorgeous natural polished black obsidian scrying mirror with ornate antiqued brass stand available in two sizes. Sacred Mists Shoppe offers everything you need to set up your Magickal space including wands, athames, hand-carved gemstone runes and wooden rune sets, God and Goddess statuary and more! They have everything a new witch could want and a bunch of other fun and amazing things you didn’t even know you needed until you shopped there The goddess statues are amazing and add so much energy to any altar. I loved the bonai wishing trees and had to have them. They are beautiful and are a reminder of the energy I want around me.. Plus, Sacred Mists Shoppe offers a wide variety of jewelry and books. Purchases at Sacred Mists Shoppe help support the education and training programs offered at Sacred Mists Academy. To get 10% off your purchase of $35 or more, go to sacred mists dot come and use code WITCHLIFE at check-out. Offer available until December 31, 2020. Sacred Mists Shoppe: Offering unique and handcraft Witchcraft and Wicca supplies to the Pagan community since 2002. Thank you to Sacred Mists Shoppe AND Sacred Mists Academy for being an episode sponsor! Courtney 29:53So I've got to be honest, I don't think I'm being a very supportive friend to either Hilary or Kanani by bringing on our next guest given that both of you have just said you're working really hard to save money. And it's because once you get a you get a hit of Joi Bonman's products. You're just going to basically throw all the money you're saving for your house at her. So sorry about that. But you know, it's a good it's a good exercise and focus and priorities. Hilary 30:22I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a triple Taurus. So this is gonna be hard forCourtney 30:33me. Yeah. Yeah. So get ready. Hilary, sit on your hands.Hilary 30:38Block myself from the internet.Courtney 30:41All right, she's like, she's already going off. She can't even focus cuz she's like, Oh my god, there's things okay. Anyway. Joi Bonman is a self-care queen with a CBD Skincare + Self-Care company called My Earth Goddess where she uses herb and healing magic to help others. Joi is the one who will always encourage you to make time for yourself and do your shadow work. As an herb and nature witch and a Virgo to boot, Joi is here to help and heal. Joi. Welcome to the show.Joi Bonman 31:20Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm very, very excited.Courtney 31:26And then the reason my co hosts have gone silent is they're literally shopping on your website right now. I guarantee it. Hilary 31:32I am not, but I guarantee Kanani isKanani 31:36that might be true.Hilary 31:38I mean, it's like I'm like there's been a lot of silence from Kanani since the word self care products and herbal salves and CBD self care products like she's like, BYE Joi Bonman 31:53You know, I'm not even mad cuz like, literally, I love moving it. So like I literally am just like somebody order somebody order, because I need something else to distract me right now.Courtney 32:07Well, I'm really glad you're here, especially with you being the Virgo and with all the earth products that you do. I feel like you're definitely the right person to talk to us about grounding and centering. But first, I'm asking you the question we ask all of our guests when they come on, how did you know you were a witch or a magical person?Joi Bonman 32:26Um, that's actually a really good question. I think I always knew, like, I was always drawn to like, tarot cards and like, you know, things that were more magical and mystical. But my parents are Christian so it took a while for me to kind of like, we're like, well, your story doesn't really like work for me right now. So I'm just gonna go off and explore. I'm, I kind of, I kind of always knew but like, I really started embracing it once I moved to Oregon, actually, about, five years ago. I'm and I haven't gone back since much to my parents dismay, and I'm okay with that.Courtney 33:04So where did you move from? Los Angeles. Joi Bonman 33:07Um, my parents are like, Anaheim area for anybody who's originally from California. Um, and I lived in North Hollywood for about five years before I left for work here.Courtney 33:20Because I always envisioned North Hollywood as being a really fertile ground for witches, but it sounds like that might not have been your experience.Joi Bonman 33:26Um, you know why we've just, it's really about partying more than anything. So I was drinking and hanging out with friends and growing up knows more than I was doing anything else, though. wasn't doing self care or Shadow Work, because I was literally too drunk. Yeah.Courtney 33:45Wow, you know what, thank you for saying that. Because I think that, um, you know, we sometimes we especially over the last few years, people have talked about what your coping mechanisms for the kind of stress and having you know, and whether it's the pandemic, or whether it's our current political situation, people have been hitting substances really hard. And the idea, sometimes we will say, having a glass of wine is an act of self care. And that's true. But you're pointing out that it's equally if not more, an act, an act of self care is to realize when those things are not helping you or when maybe they're masking, what the kind of things you need to work through. Joi Bonman 34:24Yeah, absolutely. I think there's a point where you're like, wow, like, I can't function the way that I used to, because I, I was drinking, like, all the time. I was, you know, there's drugs and stuff at parties. And you know, it was just really a very unhealthy lifestyle. And I realized that like LA just wasn't good for me, like, I want to go hiking, I want to do all these other things. So I had to explore like, what does my ideal life look like? And you know, I'm 32 now but like, you know, at that time, It was just like, I can't do this forever. So like, what am I going to do for real? Like, what are you going to do now? I think it takes a lot of like self awareness. And so like you people should constantly be checking in with themselves, you know, how am I feeling? How am I doing? And I'll make that transition so much easier.Courtney 35:16Yeah, absolutely. So that feels like the checking in with the self really leads into the topic today, which is grounding and centering. So for those who may not be friends, actually, the phrase grounding and centering made me angry for a very long time because people always say, Oh, you should ground you should center. But I didn't know what that meant for a long time in my witchcraft journey. Joi, what does that mean to you when you hear the term grounding and centering and why do witches need to do it?Joi Bonman 35:46For me grounding. First off grounding is that reconnection, raising your vibrations, right, this is when you know, during the summer, you'll probably catch me in the park with no shoes on, or just laying flat on my back and in the grass, you know, that's grounding, I'm reconnecting with the earth. And that's just like my medium. I prefer like being in the earth. Some people like going to the beach, but it's really whatever makes you feel balanced, right, whatever helps you feel more like yourself again. Um, and then centering is when you take that calmness, but you start to draw that energy back towards you. And so you start to replenish yourself. So grounding and centering kind of just go hand in hand and the fact that like, you want your you want to bring yourself back to yourself, but you also want to make sure that we're bringing our energy back, we're raising our vibrations, and that way, when we're doing spell work, or even just interacting with our loved ones, you know, we feel more like ourselves, we feel calm, and no matter what they say, or do, we're generally Okay, like, I'll just walk away instead of cussing you out today, you know what I mean? Courtney 36:59When you're grounded centered to me, I've always felt like you can then reorient yourself with your true intention. And being in connection with the true intention is what is going to it for my experience is what's going to bring the best magic now an example from my life is when I was involved with a married man, and not one of the polyamorous situations where it's, you know, it's supported and uncomfortable for all parties, not that type. I kept thinking, I want to be with him, I want to be with him. And I skipped all the grounding and centering. Whereas if I had done that, I really realized, Was it him? Or was it the, you know or was it the kind of relationship that I had in mind? And then like, digging deeper is what is it about this person that I'm craving in my life, and I think if I had done that, my magic would have been a lot more effective a lot sooner. And I'd saved a lot of myself, especially a lot of heartbreak along the way.Hilary 37:52I also think, you know, I know that, the more I feel like the more intentional intentional work and magic that I am doing, the more deep it is, the harder the work it is, the more I need to ground myself, because otherwise it's like, for me, I just become completely energetically overwhelmed. It's like, spread so thin, so you know, so tired, so and it's not effective. So like being able to say, to do the work, and then also be able to, like, center ,ground to do more work, because otherwise, you're just like running on, It's like, it's like, you're not going to not put gas in your car. Right? Joi Bonman 38:34Yeah, exactly Hilary 38:35And if you do if you you know, if you're like, Oh, you know, I know it says the oil lights on, but it's fine. I just, you know, I don't really have time to put oil in my car. Well, your car is gonna fucking break. And so are you if you don't take that time to like, do spiritual hygiene and take care of yourself. Joi Bonman 38:51Yeah, I 100% agree. I tell my clients all the time. Like you can't give to somebody if your tank is on empty. Like, where are you going in your car? If your tank is empty, where you go? Nowhere, like literally you can't go anywhere. And it's the same thing with your spirit. If you are on empty, how are you going to help anybody and especially like, our parents right now who've been trying to do school from home and like make sure that they can still work. Like there's only so much you can take on before you have to stop and take a break. You can't be there for anyone else if you're not there for yourself. So yeah, I 100% agree with you.Courtney 39:29How do you joy us grounding and centering in your practice either for self care or for witchcraft?Joi Bonman 39:36I'm so I'm an outside person, but it's been cold and rainy. So I'm I have I have more herbs than my husband probably would love. You know.Hilary 39:49I'm like, I'm like I feel you I got so many plants. So many herbs.Joi Bonman 39:54There's like it's just like overflowing and I love using candles, especially this time of year. Because it feels all like nice and cozy. Um, so I'm either sitting in like a chair with like my bare feet, like on the floor, and I have a rug that I really like. So normally put my feet on this rug. And and then you know, you can use something like that to keep you centered and reach the right chakra that you're looking to work on. Um, but I, I try to do it regularly because it is part of my self care practice, I find that if I'm not being honest with myself about my emotions, and where I'm sitting in that moment, nothing else is really going to go right I'm really, I get really irritable really quick. So I have to ground, I have to center myself, like constantly I do it at least like once a week.Courtney 40:47And so could tell us about the difference in your magic and your manifestation before you started doing grounding and centering work. And since you've started doing what you mentioned, the weekly practice.Joi Bonman 40:58Um that's an excellent question. I'm, I think in the beginning, it was a little more chaotic. And in like, it just wasn't reliable. It was like, I was going through this emotional like turmoil between me and my ex. I'm so I was kind of a mess truthfully. Um, so my magic, it just wasn't dependable. It was like it would work. But it would work in a weird way that like actually didn't really work. You know what I mean? Like, you get the answer you wanted, but not like, at all in the way you you wanted, and, or just wouldn't work at all. And so during that time, you know, I'd gone to therapy and done all these things. And I understood how important it was for me to ground and center. And now I can say that, like, I'm way calmer. Like when I practice my magic I live I am so more like I'm way more focused. Um, and I kind of I can trust my intuition now, like, I've learned to trust my gut. So sometimes it spells even, I'll even you know, kind of veer off a little bit if that's what it feels like. And I can know that, like, it's just my spirit, letting me know what I need in that moment. So I think before centering and grounding, it was just a hot mess, like, just awful. And then now it's just way more reliable and way more calm. And I even use a little bit of magical practice when I'm making my when I'm making my products for my Earth goddess as well.Courtney 42:32And I want to dig into your your earth goddess products in just a second. But one of the things I that that's occurring to me that I feel is really important for for especially new witches to realize that was brought up by something you said about your ex sounds like your ex was a very chaotic ungrounding influence in your life is that grounding and centering is is there, it is important to actually include that as part of your practice. But it also recognizing what influences around you ground you or are you allowing too many chaotic influences in your life. And that's like surrounding yourself with the right people is just as important to magic as doing the right spells. And it doesn't mean necessarily surrounding yourself with the right witches, although that that can be very important as well. But it means like, Who are your friends? Are your friends doing well for themselves in their own on their own terms? Are they handling conflict in a productive way? Um, handling struggles in a way that is is you know, you know, how are they approaching obstacles right there, do they? Because we all have hard time. So it's not like your friends have to be perfect as nobody is. But it's like, are they are they you know? Are they hurting themselves? or other people? Because they're struggling? Or are they you know, just being honest, like hey, I'm having a tough time right now I really can't help you out with the problem with the barbecue like I wanted to, although none of us are going to barbecues right now because COVID so yeah, I think that that's also a key and magic is Who are you who do your forces grounds you and bounce you I know my husband does. I know these two yahoo's do as much as I can pretend that they don't and like you know, even when Kanani had rabies for a moment, likeKanani 44:21It happens Joi Bonman 44:23Yeah I think that's so true. When you're around really bad energy, like, people are an exchange of energy. When you let them be in your circle, really, you're giving you're sharing your energy with them and they're sharing theirs with you whether that's your intention or not, like when you're connecting with somebody, like that's what you're doing is exchanging energy. So if they've got this bad energy about them, you're going to take that on, right? Like that's gonna really carry you into like your next interaction. Um, and my ex was, oh my gosh, so I have a problem with Scorpio's ecause of him, like for real and yeah, I'm, I can't with the Scorpio men, I will never ever ever. Um, but being that I'm married I don't have to worry about that.Courtney 45:12No, no ...scorpios will find you aka social media Just kidding. Hilary 45:19All the Scorpio is gonna be like, I know where to find youJoi Bonman 45:22I'm sorry but I can't fuck with ya'll....um, but yeah, like when I was around him like oh my gosh, like I would be so angry, irritated and like, I didn't want to go home at the end of the day like it was just not good. Um, and my one of my friends who is also a witch, she called me out like really hard she was like, nope, you cannot you cannot survive like this, you have to change something, be at him be it like the way that you're you guys are handling things like y'all need therapy, I don't care, but you got to get it together. And so I think everybody kind of needs that friend who's not afraid to call you on your bullshit either like your friends and your, the people that you spend time with, or the animals that you spend time with. Um, you know, they really, they really are important, and they do influence the way that you feel and how you see the world actually.Courtney 46:16Gee friends I call you on your bullshit and you don't like it, but they do it anyway, where can I find those?Kanani 46:23And won't stop even when you ask them to? Where could you find someone like that, Courtney?Hilary 46:29And you're like, I don't want to hear that. But you're gonna tell me anyway, I don't think you know any of those people.Joi Bonman 46:35And sometimes, especially when it's like your real good friends. They're just like, see bitch, I told you and you're like, You're rude. Okay, I understand that you and the cards have an opinion about this situation, but I don't want to hear it. Like, I don't care right now.Courtney 46:50I have a total Scorpio joke. So I used to actually keep an astrology blog and I live but I and I used to because I had a Scorpio ex that would read it. And I would always put stuff in there to make him think it was about him. And he knew I was doing it. He knew I was doing it on purpose in one day is my favorite was when I said oh, Scorpio. I know it's really hard. I know you think the world is out to get you. Well, I'm here to let you know that you're right. The world is out to get you and everyone's talking behind your back. And he messaged me immediately like what the fuck was that? Like? How dare you? So whenever I post something about Scorpios I it's like I do it on purpose. Because he's gonna wonder if it's about him. And he knows I'm doing it on purpose. So he knows it could be about him. But it may not be about him. And then the way our our friendship has been since we broke up almost 20 years ago. Joi Bonman 47:43I love this although like my my experience with Scorpios like literally I'm just like, y'all are crazy. I am. They're crazy. I don't have the time. I don't have the time. Y'all are nuts. I love you. But from afar like, do you.Courtney 48:02Oh, yeah. As someone with the Scorpio moon. So like my husband's like, God, your thoughts go into terrible place. Oh, I have to tell you what my Scorpio moon did to me the other day. So one of the podcasts I listened to is the Office Ladies, which is Angela Kinsey and Jenna Fisher who were on the office. They played Angela and Pam. Yeah.Hilary 48:22Oh my god, they have a podcast?Courtney 48:24They have a podcast where they go through episode by episodeHilary 48:27Clearly I have fucked up not listening to this.Courtney 48:29Oh it's so good. And they're friends, kind of like us only, you know, much more successful and then it's a really it's a really great show. But they told they told this awful story about how in the office, you know, they would sometimes shoot scenes in the bathroom. And they had signs up that said not a real toilet set toilet real bathroom is down the hall. Because apparently, somebody went to the set in used the set toilet not knowing the toilets weren't real. Hilary 49:01Oh, no. Courtney 49:03And they said they were like, there they go. somebody out there knows who they are, that they were really excited to come to the set of the office and they had to go to the bathroom and they pooped in a set toilet. And I have to tell you, I laid awake from like two to 5am like what if? What if that happens to me sometimes? What if I go to the set of a show I love and they have a fake bathroom? And I use it? What will happen? Oh my god, I could never handle and I am like just the weirdest thing to lay awake and worry about okay, becauseHilary 49:37I'm dying... hahahahJoi Bonman 49:38I'm like, I read weird stories, y'all. So I'm going to preface this by saying I read weird stories. But there. There's a story that I read where this girl was like on a date or something. She goes back to this dude's house she has to poop and she goes to flush the toilet and like it flushes but then then there's just like one chunk of poop in there that won't flash and like now his toilet is broken. She fuckin panics, right? And grab some toilet paper takes the proop out of the toilet, grabs some more toilet paper and puts it in her purse. And I don't know why I have never forgotten the story. Cuz that's a weird thing. That's a weird thing. Hilary 50:23She put it in her PURSE???Courtney 50:28I don't know, I don't know what to but then of course the Scorpio I would never do that with a Scorpio moon and me is really, what if I go crazy and I do something like that. Like that's that's the kind of thing and it's like that's a Scorpio for you going into these terrible scenarios, which is why a good grounding and centering practice when my Scorpio moon starts acting up giving me anxiety about really terrible things. Kanani 50:54This is why our friendship works. That's the part of you that I get to torment and I get to play with and it brings me so much joy.Hilary 51:07I'm the opposite. Because like, I feel like I'm the person that you would be like, Oh my god, I'm being paranoid. I'd be like, What are you talking about? No, you don't even need to be worried about that. That's not going to happen. Kanani 51:16I'd be like... What if you've already done that? And you didn't even know I was going to your friend's house and you didn't even know? That's the conversation I'm gonna haveHilary 51:24Because like, I am very like I like to me. I'm like, no i can i can logic this way. Like I'm a I'm a Taurus, sun Taurus, Moon Virgo rising. So. Gotcha. Right. But I also have like, I have a lot of Taurus and my basic most of my chart is Taurus and Virgo, like almost all of it. There's a few othersJoi Bonman 51:43You're very logicalCourtney 51:45She's increadibly logicalHilary 51:47I'm incredibly logical. So like, unless I'm buying things, that's the taurus irrational spending part. Joi Bonman 51:54Chuck gets so mad. He's like, we'll go to markets and I literally will be like, Oh, I want this. And I want this. He was like, you cannot spend all of the money before we've even made any What are you doing? I'm like what if it sells out and then I then I'm never gonna forget about it. And I'll regret it forever.Courtney 52:12Like, yeah, no, this. So anyway, speaking of markets, and buying things, so don't do tell us about your, your self care products. They're really phenomenal.Joi Bonman 52:26Thank you, I really appreciate that. So I am handcrafted my own recipes and scent blends to make a variety of self care products. And as you get as you said earlier, like I am all about the self care, like, we've all been trapped at home for like months, and then you go back to work, but you can't really socialize, like it's stupid. So I'm like everybody do your self care, because you probably really, really need it right now. I am. So I created a whole line, I guess, if you will, of products for gods and goddesses. And if you are gender fluid and use them all, it's fine. Um, I have like whipped body butter, massage oil, candles, bath fizz. So there's a lot of different things for people. So if you don't have a bathtub, I have a little something for you. And if you really like bathtubs, it definitely have something for you. So I wanted to make sure I could reach as many people as possible. Courtney 53:27I'm gonna want to clarify something because I might have confused some of our listeners now it is it is legal to ship CBD products. So if you're not an Oregon you can order from Joi, my company has a policy where we couldn't do that. So I just wanna make sure that that was very clear so you can totally order from out of state but it's just because of our company policy that I could not but I have your CBD body butter and you know I found that to be a good way to to be grounding as well because it's like I have a hard time getting into I getting out of my head as you know the Scorpio moon the anxious brain worrying about things that could never probably will never happen like that. Like that. That's the kind of thing where it's like getting back into the body and remembering hey, here's where I am and here's what's really before me and here are the beautiful blessings that surround me and so I feel like your your work is its own act of your work and self care is its own act of grounding and centering.Joi Bonman 54:27Yeah I'm and that is really the the idea is like getting back in touch with your body. Right It's so easy that we get caught up in our heads that we forget how important it is to love on our body. And so for example like the massage oil. You know I have I just did the workbook. So now I have this thing where it's it says what pressure on what part of your body does what? So you can give yourself a massage you can soothe yourself and really get back into how you're feeling in your body, um, and also like giving it its love because like, it literally carries you around all day. Like you're, you're on your feet most of the time, you know what I mean? Like, give it a little bit of love, give it a little bit of a rub down, you know, put a candle on and get in the shower and just like, love yourself for a while, you know what I mean?Courtney 55:22So true, just wonderful. Well, another question I had is what is if, if you had one tip to share with people who struggle with grounding and centering because I've met a lot of witches that struggle with it, it's not. It's a simple concept, but it can be a difficult execution. What is one tip you might be able to share with us? For people who struggle with grounding and centering?Joi Bonman 55:44Um, absolutely, I,Courtney 55:46I thinkJoi Bonman 55:49I'm gonna give you two tips actually. Be kind to yourself about it. I mean, it's, it is really hard. I mean, it's like meditation, right? Like, it's just sitting there and breathing. But it can be really hard to execute. So be kind to yourself about it, like you're going through a learning process. And even if you're a seasoned witch, and you're struggling today, that's okay. Um, and also, I would say my other tip would be to, to, to do it in a way that you feel comfortable. Don't worry about what everybody else is doing, there is no right way to do it. So if you need to lay flat on your stomach, and close your eyes and basically fall asleep, like, do what you got to do, don't worry about anybody else and just do right by you. That's, those are my tips.Courtney 56:39That's really you know what, that's so important. And I cannot tell you how many witches are so hard on themselves. And yes, be kind to yourself, witches, it doesn't make you a better witch to be super, super critical of you at all.Hilary 56:53I think one of my favorite pieces of advice is when you're talking to yourself about the things you're doing talk to yourself, like you would a child. Joi Bonman 57:00YeahHilary 57:01Like a child that you're teaching, you're not going to tell a child that you're teaching that doesn't get it right, that they're stupid, that they're not worthy, that they're not valuable. You need to like remember that, like, have that same grace with yourself, you know, so when you're struggling, or you're finding that, you know, and you're coming down hard on yourself, stop, pause for a minute and say would I talk to a child like this? And if the answer is no, try rephrasing it. Try Try, being gentler.Joi Bonman 57:31Yeah, I think well, and that's really one of the first steps when you're doing self care. A lot of people, you know, well, they're like, how do I do this? What do I do, and it's just like, first off, start with how you talk to yourself. I mean, even plants, you know, plants respond, you know, to positive talk and kindness. And it really, when you care for a plant unit, I mean, you're, you're wanting it to grow. And you should want that for yourself. So the first thing when you're doing self care is to knock off the negative self talk. And anything that you're saying bad about yourself, reframe it, immediately start making a new pathway to positive self talk.Kanani 58:12I also think it's important that for people to give themself a lot of grace right now. And one of the things that I talked about is my, for the last probably year, you know, if not longer, the last four years, a lot of my self care has been just to maintain sanity, it has not been, I have not been at a mental place where I'm, like, you know, finding these deep, meaningful moments and really finding clarity like, no, I'm just trying to maintain my anxiety and my stress level and all of these things. And even though right now, we're kind of hopefully at a position where things might be improving, things should be changing. And we've been through so much. It's not ...you can't expect like, Oh, well, you know, we're past the inauguration show. I should be calm now, right, like very tough time to regroup and don't necessarily get frustrated if when you're sitting down you know, maybe it makes you feel a little better but you're not you know, finding clarity or you're not totally at peace like this is going to take some time. And if you're one of those people that has kind of a higher level anxiety, you know, maybe in the beginning you're just going to get some peace and that and you know, and that's okay, yeah, you're not going to get immediately to the point where you're having these you know, kind of, you know, clarity moments and really powerful moments, you're just going to get some peace and and work just keep working at it. But don't, don't get frustrated or give up because you're not necessarily getting the outcome you want. Because that can take some time. We're all carrying around a lot of I think ptsd and baggage right now and anxiety that's gonna take some time before we can move past that.Joi Bonman 1:00:07Yeah, I agree with you, um, if we're gonna be honest, like, what we've all been through is wildly traumatic. I mean, we went through in our lifetimes, we've gone through a depression, we've had a crazy, insane president, we've gone through a pandemic, like these are really big things to go through. And so I've been telling all my clients, like, stop saying, should I'm supposed to I could have been doing this, like, they don't serve you. What is should, could would, what does that really matter? And the grand scheme of things like, yeah, I could have been doing the dishes instead of watching TV. But that's what I wanted to do in that moment. And so like, should and could no longer matter right now just breathe and like, get through the get through to the next moment. Like I literally for the last week, have slept and worked on the computer for the most part, because I didn't want to interact with people like I couldn't handle the stress of like the election and like, running my business and doing all these things and feel like a sane person. So I really had to, like, drawn into myself and just tell people like, I'm just not available right now. And just be okay with that.Courtney 1:01:19Yeah, for sure. So we have a listener question, and we're hoping you can help us out with this. We like getting our guests perspective. "Hey, ladies. First I'd like to say thank you for creating this podcast. I found that a couple of weeks ago, and I've been bingeing ever since I'm looking for some advice, ideas you might have for someone who is a witch, but has no place to practice privately. I'm a member of the military and I have no permanent address of my own. I share a room/building with multiple different people Monday through Friday. On the weekends, I stay with my parents, as I travel so much for work. I was raised evangelical Christian, and my parents are not comfortable with my spirituality. So out of respect, I don't practice in their home. I have designed what I like to call my witch kit, and it carries my Grimoire and a few of my other tools and crystals. Out of necessity, all of my tools are small and portable in some way. I'd love to hear all your takes on this and any advice on how to stay consistent in my practice with a transient lifestyle, judgmental family and little privacy. I'm always open to new ideas, much love and appreciation for you all bless it be." So this is me, Courtney responding First off, I just wanted to say thank you for your service, even though I'm a giant, liberal snowflake, libcrat What else have I been called? Um, commie socialist thing? Yeah. Fine. Yeah, all those things, whatever leftist, anarchist, I don't know how you can be an anarchist and a socialist, but apparently I am. I am all these things. And I also recognize the great sacrifice you are making. And so I just want to say thank you, and then love to get Joi's perspective on on your question.Joi Bonman 1:03:03Yeah, I'm, also that's fantastic. Like, I could never join the military. So like, wow, you're already doing big things. That's so impressive. That's what I'm going to say about that. Um, but as far as doing a practice, that's kind of low key, I totally understand that. Um, I would say that you, you are your greatest magic, right, so anywhere you go, you're taking your magic with you. So just remember that you are what you need to practice. But when you're at your parents house, or you're setting up in you know, a communal space, and I would recommend using like normal quote unquote, normal tools, you know, candles, herbs, essential oils, and you can kind of turn this space that you're in into an altar without people even realizing it. Um, so like is north is the earth so in the north corner, you can just put some herbs or some plants or something like that nobody would be any of the wiser, like, why is this herb on this side of the room. And like for air, you could do a feather like, you know, I found this and I love it. I think it's pretty you could do a bell because you like it or even an incense. Um, you know, for fire, you could have a candle on one side and pour water it could literally just be the color blue, a glass of water or something like that. And then you've got and entire space that is now your altar. Um, and for the most part, meditation and prayer look a lot alike, and most people wouldn't know what you're doing unless you tell them. I don't typically say my spells or manifestations out loud. I see them in my head. So that's totally fine. If you're comfortable with that.Kanani 1:04:48I think those are actually really great suggestions. And I think and I was gonna say also, you know, my my husband doesn't practice my practice has always been incredibly personal to me. And I do have an altar in the bedroom. And I have little things kind of here and there throughout the house. But you know, I go to some people's houses and friend's houses and you walk in and you'd be like, which lives here? Yep, sure. And but the truth is like, so I think like what you said, you know, there's certain things you can have it, you can have plants, you can have a fountain, right in a certain corner that represents water, you can have candles, you can have things you can have all the things you love. And it's not intentional on my part, I'm not necessarily I'm not hiding anything. It's just I like what I like and, and particularly myself, I was very into Fung Shui when I first started out, so I'm very much into kind of the elementals of things, which isn't necessarily witchy, per se. And so a lot of the things that I have in life are more representative of the elements. And then it doesn't necessarily draw attention to itself. And so there's a lot of ways that you can create your own magical space that feels magical and feels good to you. That that don't necessarily, you know, project, someone is practicing witchcraft here. And I also, you know, we talk a lot about people who don't have a lot of privacy or personal space, you know, doing a lot of Bath magic, because that is time where you do typically get, unless your mother and your children are always in there when you're going to the bathroom, where you actually do get some privacy and some personal space. The other thing that we kind of, in a roundabout way touched on is another place you can kind of use is your car, you know, maybe have some CDs that you like, please don't start to meditate while you're trying to drive becauseHilary 1:06:42yeah, don't do that.Kanani 1:06:44And, you know, you can listen to you know, I love Fawn, that's one of my favorite pagan bands from Ireland, and Courtney 1:06:54Germany Kanani 1:06:54or Germany,Courtney 1:06:55They're from Germany. Everything outside the United States is Ireland to KananiKanani 1:07:00That that's actually very true. I was actually at their concert where they were the first concert that they'd ever been to the United States. And I was I was there it was really exciting. It was at a Faerie festival. And it was funny because they they most of them speak note some of most of them speak very little, if no, English. And there was one who spoke very, very broken English. So it was it was actually it was very exciting. But anyways, you can make in your carCourtney 1:07:26I also love how they also singing in German yet you still thought they were from Ireland.Hilary 1:07:30OH my god... OMG hahahahKanani 1:07:30I have no idea. What's funny is I'm actually am what's funny is I'm actually German. So that's probably why I like it. Because everything sounds angry. Yeah. Music in her car, you can have talismans in your car, you can have, you know, you can have clips of scents, you know, that you like in your car that you could change out if you wanted to things that are soothing things that are calming things that bring energy. So that could also maybe be a personal space that you have that maybe you can kind of do some things that might make you feel, you know, kind of in your in your in your witchy self in a way that's very private, but at the same time, it's not something that necessarily anyone's gonna walk into your car and be like, hey, oh, wow, you must you're clearly you're a witch.Hilary 1:08:20So also, I just want to thank you for your service. I know a tremendous amount of sacrifice goes into being in the military. And so I honor that fully. So I definitely think there are a couple things and I thought I think all the suggestions are super on point I sometimes make magical teas. So herbs that are edible, but that have magical properties or intentions. So you could create a blend of herbs that are in line with the intention you want that you could drink, and no one's going to think anything weird of you making the tea right? Joi Bonman 1:08:52Right. Hilary 1:08:52So you can you can order these tea bags that are reusable or that are even disposable that you can put herbs, loose herbs in. So like rosemary is has many many benefits, mint basil all of these things can be infused in a tea, you know obviously just do due diligence when you're looking for herbs and make sure that A. they are edible. B. They're not going to contradict some of them do contradict medication so just do due diligence and making sure that they're okay and safe for you. But that can be a good way. Another thing is a lot of people are used to seeing herbs like on are in pillows, like lavender, for instance. Right? So a lot of people are used to seeing like lavender eye pillows that's not weird, weird quote unquote, I'm using that. You know, that's not going to alarm anyone. So you could I often will put like a little sachet of herbs in my pillow or under my pillow. So one it's not going to be super obvious. But it will also be it would be something that you know, even if someone found you could say, Oh yeah, you know, lavender helps me sleep, right? No one's gonna be like, well, that's like literally I mean, like if you go to the drugstore, you can find lavender eye pillows, right?Joi Bonman 1:10:09Oh, you guys actually gave me an idea of sigils I you know, you can draw a sigil and put it in your shoe or something like that Courtney 1:10:16Oh yeah,Joi Bonman 1:10:18That's a good ideaCourtney 1:10:21and I'm my advice is going to be completely unhelpful, because I feel like this person is already doing, doing exactly what I would tell them to do, which is they got a witch kid that they carry around. And so I'm like, sounds like what you're doing is fine. Yeah. Be mindful that you're you are where you are right now we've had a lot of people write to us frustrated, because they don't have support at home, or they don't have access to practice. And the truth is, is that that just may be where you are in life right now. And times will change. You won't always be in this communal living situation. And you'll, there will be a time where you'll have more space to yourself, and then be time when you have less space to yourself. It goes through cycles, and that time will come. But it sounds like you know what you're doing is great. Just keep at it. You know? Joi how can people find you? Joi Bonman 1:11:12So I have social medias. I have Facebook by me Joi, J O I, because my parents are who they are. I love them. Um, and so it's Joi Bonman. And then if you're looking for me on Instagram, I actually have two I have one for my Earth goddess, which is my Earth goddess CBD. And then my witchy one is a clever little witch, because I was obsessed and still am obsessed with Hocus Pocus.Courtney 1:11:42Nice. Also, I'm making sure people know to check out your podcast, which I think is available on all the platforms, isn't it? Yes, you're right. Um, how did I forget about my own podcast? I don't know. But I did. Um, yes. Spotify, Apple. All of those. We are there. It's Lil Black Witch? Yeah, it's a great, I love the fact that you both blend the practical aspects of magic. But also there's a lot of just digging into digging into life experience and things like that. So it's just a very easy, easy listening and informative and lovely vibe on that podcast. So really encourage people to include that in their rotation. And yeah, well think no. So thank you. I really really appreciate Joi you coming on today and everybody. Joi is kind enough to record has been kind enough to record a grounding and centering meditation for us, which we will be releasing this week on Patreon. So if you want to get it join us at any level, and you can get that lovely meditation from joy. In the meantime, thank you all so much for listening. If you want to support the show, best way is to subscribe and spread the word and please also consider leaving us a rating and review on Apple podcasts. It really really helps. And then you can also buy us a coffee and check out our merge on our Etsy store. Kanani's putting out a lot of really badass stuff toward the end of the month. And again, for bonus content, become a supporter on Patreon. You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And so for show notes, audio transcript, or to ask us a question to answer on a future episode. Go to that list. I can't even say the name of my own podcast, go to Until then, keep molding that shit and we'll talk to you next week which isHilary 1:13:32ByeKanani 1:13:33Bye(Exit Music) 1:13:34Find us at for archived episodes or to ask your burning questions for us to answer in a future podcast. So mote it be.Courtney 1:13:48You're not crying because you're not crying because your husband brought home the wrong ice creamKanani 1:13:52that that's that's that's rage. That's not sadness.Hilary 1:13:55I was gonna say I was gonna sayKanani 1:13:58that would be rage, you know, throwing of I can't even we don't we don't even talk about that. Why would you know I'm upset.Hilary 1:14:07I was like, gotta be more like, I was like that's got to be more like how murders happen Kanani 1:14:14That is how I end up in jail like that has nothing to do with crying. ................
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