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Class8th Grade Social SkillsUnit6LessonDays 3, 4, and 5MaterialsLarge ball of string5 People Image5 Stick FiguresBoy Girl Friendship DynamicsCrush Dos and Don’tsCake OutlineComputers for each studentLove Language Response Time135 minutesIntroductionIn middle school, relationships can be hard. A “relationship” is any connection with another person—family, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, teachers, etc. Over the next few days, we will learn about these complicated relationships and how to navigate some of them.SWBATIdentify behaviors/attitudes that are helpful/hurtful in a relationship in middle school.VocabCrushFriendship DynamicsBodySet up: For the section on Friendship Dynamics, make every effort to have a trusted male and female adult present to answer questions, give examples, etc. The goal is to have someone who can normalize the friendship/crush experience and say “me too” without crossing boundaries. Also, cut out the boxes on the “Crush Dos and Don’ts” paper.(15 minutes) Picking Friends: Display the “5 People Image” on the board. Discuss the quote. Why do we become more like the people we spend time with? Even a person’s accent is influenced by who they spend their teenage years around and what they sound like, not just where they are born or how their parents talk. Our friends, especially in our teenage years, have a huge impact on how we act/our attitude. Have you picked good people to influence you? Hand out the “5 Stick Figures” paper (cut so that each student gets only 5 stick figures). Have students label the stick figures with the people they spend the most time around (family or friends) and write down character traits of each person. These can be positive traits or negative ones. Have they seen themselves mirroring the traits? Are there any changes they should make to make sure they don’t pick up negative traits? (15 minutes) String Activity: Have everyone write down 3 things that describe them or their interests (student, long-boarder, singer, etc.). Explain that they don’t have to be super specific (they should write “I babysit” vs. “I babysit twins every Sunday.”). As students read their descriptions, you will link the students together with string. Pass around/throw the string to everyone who has that description in common with the first student. They should hold on to their part of the string and pass it on. By the end, everyone should be holding many sections of string. What does this represent? Are there some things that you have in common and some that are more unique? What are the benefits of having friends that have differences and commonalities? Why do we sometimes act like we can’t/shouldn’t be friends with people who have different interests/are in different grades/are a different gender, etc? (15 minutes) Friendship Dynamics: Friendships can be weird in middle school. There are different dynamics (the way things work) between female friends and between male friends that are important to understand. Split the class up into groups, with girls in one group and boys in the other. Have them read and discuss the “Boy Girl Friendship Dynamics” reading. This is a good time to have a positive adult role model from either gender with the groups.(25 minutes) Crushes: Another interest friendship dynamic in middle school is when a friendship or acquaintance becomes a crush. What do you remember from last year about crushes?Watch this video to learn more about crushes: are very normal things, but sometimes we act a little less than normal around our crush. Make a “Crushes Dos and Don’ts” t-chart on the board. Have students arrange the boxes from this paper on the board. Use these pieces of advice to spur discussion that can be tailored to the needs of your students.Icing on the Cake: Hand out the “Cake Outline.” Have students write things that are important to them on the body of the cake (one important thing per layer or several, as needed). This can include family, faith, friends, sports, music, etc. Explain that crushes are just the icing on the cake—they are nice, but not necessary. Emphasize that the students are whole and complete and wonderful without a crush/boyfriend/girlfriend. Discuss how much time and energy should be invested in the things on the cake vs. the icing (crushes). (35 minutes) Love languages: What happens if we don’t speak the same language as our friends? What difficulties may arise? In all of our relationships (family, friendships, crushes, etc.), we each give and receive love in different ways. One author (Gary Chapman) describes this as our Love Language and says there are 5 Love Languages- words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. It is good and normal to show affection/care for our friends and family. We might be wasting some effort, though, if we are speaking the wrong language to them. We are most effective in deepening our relationships if we “speak” the person’s love language and they “speak” ours.Have students take this teen-directed Love Language quiz. students complete the “Love Language Response” paper.Have students discuss their results in small groups.(15 minutes) Reflection: We have learned a LOT of things about friendship dynamics in middle school. Ask students to think about something they have learned throughout this lesson. What was their take-away? Have them spend 15 minutes writing/doodling about the lesson in their notebook. They should spend the full 15 minutes on it, even if that means they talk about a few different topics.(5 minutes) Planners: Friendship DynamicsDifferentiationLow: Identifying more negative personality traits of our friends/family may be difficult. If needed, stick with positive traits.Low: Read the paper ahead of time and discuss the main points with your groupHigh: Have students respond to the reading by writing/drawing a field report. This is a labeled chart of the human teenage boy or girl. They can include labels that show their understanding of the reading—things like “enjoy rough-housing” or “form cliques.” ClosingIf you still have questions or are having a hard time with relationships in middle school, who are some specific people you can talk to?Notes ................
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