'FRUIT OF GENTLENESS



FRUIT OF GENTLENESS

Philippians 4:4-7

Fruit Of The Spirit Message Series

June 5, 2016

Pastor Nathan J. Thompson

We’re continuing our series on the “Fruit Of The Spirit” by focusing this morning on the “Fruit Of Gentleness.” A major truth today is that we live in a “dog-eat-dog” world. This has lead to a kind of survivalist mode where we’re conditioned to think we need to do (say; accuse; threaten) whatever it takes to take care of ourselves.

It is easy to feel that gentleness is okay on Sunday mornings, yet it’s not going to work during the week at the office; at school; in agri-business; in simply getting ahead in life...or will it? You may be surprised to learn that there is actually an extremely radical power in gentleness that can often really get people’s attention.

The best illustration/word picture in the Bible to help us see what gentleness looks like is a wild stallion horse being tamed. Gentleness is the power of your potential under God’s control. In other words, until we come under God’s control we will never be able to fully be what we can be; never be what God wants us to be.

Therefore what does a gentle person look like; how does a gentle person act? This morning, using the acrostic P O W E R we will look at five characteristics of gentleness; five elements that if we would put into practice will revolutionize our relationships.

The first element is personality. Gentle people have their personalities under God’s control. Each of our personalities are made up of positive character traits like honesty, integrity, humility, sense of humor, compassion; or they are made up of negative traits like rudeness, temper, vindictiveness.

If we’re completely honest each one of us have some character traits that need the rough edges taken off. Even Jesus’ best friends (his disciples) had some rough edges in their characters that needed attention.

Remember James & John—one time they wanted to call down flames of fire on unbelievers; another time they wanted to sit in places of honor next to Jesus when they get to heaven.

Then there is Peter the impulsive disciple; he was always rushing into things without thinking; always sticking his foot in his mouth. It was Peter, of course, whom Jesus had to reprimand with the words, “Get behind me Satan;” it was Peter who denied Jesus three times.

Yet the good news is that Jesus stuck it out with his disciples. He saw the power of their potential. Jesus knew that if these disciples would be realistic and honest about their character flaws; if they would give him control they would become powerful leaders in God’s kingdom. That is also the hope and good news for you/me; Jesus can also do the same thing for us.

Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish far more than all we can ask or imagine.” The Holy Spirit working deeply and gently within us is able to get our character traits under God’s control; the Holy Spirit is able to bring forth fruit of gentleness in each one of our relationships.

The second element that can revolutionize us is outlook. As one's character begins to change it has an incredible affect on how we see others. In the same way one's character will determine our attitudes and our actions toward these people; our attitude affects our actions.

Philippians 2:4-5 says, “Don’t just think of your own affairs, but be interested in other people too and what they are doing.” That’s what happens when one's outlook comes under God’s control. We start seeing and working for the benefit of others; we’re more concerned about others than we are about ourselves.

When your outlook comes under God’s control you start becoming more understanding. You start seeing where others may be coming from; you become more understanding and compassionate concerning their weaknesses and limitations; you will also become more patient and loving.

As we come under God’s control he changes us to be more sensitive to the needs of others; we are not so demanding of our selfish wants. In other words God makes us like Jesus.

The third element that can revolutionize us is to have our words under God’s control. Truth is that each one of us knows the power of words. Words can build people up; either that or they can be very destructive.

The Book of James in the New Testament says that the tongue is like a “flame of fire.” That’s why we need to bring our words under God’s control. When God controls and transforms our hearts, our words can and will also be changed.

Is each word you say a gift to another? I don’t think so. Is each word you say helpful? The Bible warns us that we need to be very careful about that. One of the characteristics of gentle people is that their words are under control; they know the power of a carelessly spoken word.

Something that might work is to think first before you say something. Especially when you’re really angry (frustrated) say what you’re going to say out loud first in your heart. When you do that you still have the opportunity to change (alter) what you are going to say. Remember: each word is to be a gift.

The fourth element that can revolutionize our lives is expectations. When someone disappoints you are you gentle; are you judgmental? Your response (your attitude) will usually determine the health and quality of your relationships.

The wonderful (good) news is that God comes to you gently, not with judgment and condemnation. As Psalm 103:8 says, “God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Just like that Prodigal Son who came home in shame, God runs down the road with open arms. He doesn’t rub it in or say, “I told you so.” He is gentle.

Proverbs 15:4 says, “Gentle words cause life and health.” Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

When someone doesn’t meet your expectations; when someone disappoints you are you a consuming fire that rages over them? Or on the other hand do you respond with a gentle whisper; with gentleness? There’s amazing power in gentleness; it gets people’s attention. Gentle people have their expectations under God’s control.

The fifth and final element that can revolutionize us is our response. Gentle people are proactive rather than reactive; they are able to control their response. A reactive person is controlled by others; are driven by their feelings and circumstances at the moment. On the other hand a proactive person controls their response in everything they do.

The term, “You make me angry,” is really not true. You and I always choose to react. No one can make you angry. I challenge you today—are you in control of your response? Are you in control of the anger that can so easily come out?

Seek first to understand the problem; then make a proper diagnosis. When someone says something that hurts you take a step back and think about what may be going on in that other person’s life. I’m not asking you to psychoanalyze; rather to empathize. Empathy is listening to understand; it is seeking to gain knowledge before acting/reacting.

Dr. Stephen Covey, author of the book, “Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People,” wrote that “next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival—to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.” This one thing can revolutionize every relationship you have.

Remember, when you listen you learn. The time you invest to deeply understand the people that you love; work with; interact with reaps huge dividends in open communication. Gentle people are proactive, not reactive.

Gentleness is the power of your potential under God’s control. Gentle people are far from wimps; their roots are deep in the good soil of God’s love. Gentle people have been touched and surprised by the mercy of God. They are willing to give that mercy to others.

I am firmly convinced that if you will apply these five principles it will make a major difference in your behaviors. Remember that if you want to change someone else, change yourself first. Bring yourself under the Holy Spirit’s control and it will radically transform your relationships with life-giving fruit.

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