SA LITERATURE

SA LITERATURE

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Sexaholics Anonymous.

1.

Sexual addiction--Treatment.

2.

Sexaholics Anonymous.

RC560.S43S48

1989

616.85'8306

10261

ISBN 0-9622887-3-X

89-

Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint the

following:

Excerpts from Alcoholics Anonymous. Copyright 1976 by

Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Reprinted by

permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Excerpts from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Copyright 1953

by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Reprinted by

permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Copyright ? 1989-2002 SA Literature All rights reserved.

First preliminary edition published 20 May 1984 Revised 1 July

1984

Revised 6 November 1984

Revised 5 May 1986

New and revised edition July 1989

Reprinted with footnote added to p. 192, 15 October 2001 Cover art

copyright ? 1989 SA Literature Cover logo trademark of

Sexaholics Anonymous

The Problem

Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. Our

insides never matched what we saw on the outsides of others.

Early on, we came to feel disconnected-from parents,

from peers, from ourselves. We tuned out with fantasy and

masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the

images, and pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted

and wanted to be lusted after.

We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity,

adultery, dependency relationships, and more fantasy. We got

it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we

gave it away. We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the

forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it was to do it.

"Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with

outstretched arms. Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away

our power to others.

This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and

pain, and we were driven ever inward, away from reality,

away from love, lost inside ourselves.

Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could

never know real union with another because we were

addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the

connection that had the magic, because it by-passed inti?

macy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed

love.

First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to

fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time

and again that the next one would save us, we were really

losing our lives.

Contents

Preface

To the Newcomer 1

A Personal Story 9

PART I

The Problem 26

Sexaholism¡ªThe Addiction

29

Lust¡ªThe Force Behind the Addiction

The Spiritual Basis of Addiction 45

PART II

39

The Solution 60

Getting Started 63

How It Works¡ªThe Practical Reality 77

Surrender-Steps One, Two, and Three 79

Step One 83

Step Two 89

Step Three 93

Making the Wrongs Right ¡ª Steps Four

Through Ten 97

Step Four 105

Step Five 111

Steps Six and Seven 115

Steps Eight and Nine 123

Step Ten 129

Step Eleven 135

Step Twelve 143

Overcoming Lust and Temptation

PART III

157

The Fellowship

of Sobriety 170

Starting a New SA Group 173

Meetings¡ªHow They Work 185

The Sobriety Definition 191

APENDIXES

Appendix 1 SA Meeting Formats 197

Appendix 2 Readings Commonly

Used in Meetings 201

Appendix 3 Where to Go for More Information 211

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