100+ KIDS JOKES

100+ KIDS JOKES

Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

A: It had a blue tooth.

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?

A: Gets jalapeno your business

Q: Why can¡¯t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot.

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A: Pork Chop

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?

A: You put a little boogie in it

Q: Why can¡¯t you give Elsa a balloon?

A: Because she will let it go

Q: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?

A: Because it was full of cheetahs

Q: What is the smartest kind of bee?

A: A spelling bee

Q: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?

A: Because it has no point

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?

A: They use a honey comb

Q: Where do polar bears keep their money?

A: A snow bank.

Q: What do you get when you cross an

elephant and a potato?

A: Mashed potatoes

Q: What room can no one enter?

A: A mushroom

Q: What do you call an old snowman?

A: Water

Q: What kind of key can never unlock a

door?

A: A monkey

Q: Why is a baseball stadium always cool?

A: It is full of fans

Q: What has four wheels and ?ies?

A: A garbage truck

Q: Why did Santa go to music school?

A: So he could improve his wrapping skills

Q: Why do graveyards have a fence around

them?

A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: Why couldn¡¯t the pirate learn the

alphabet?

A: Because he was always lost at C

Q: What did the cheerleader say to the

ghost?

A: Show your spirit.

Q: What did the man say when he walked

into a bar?

A: Ouch!

Q: What did one eye say to the other?

A: Between you and me something smells.

Q: What are the strongest days of the week?

A: Saturday and Sunday. Every other day is

a weekday

Q: What do you call fake noodles?

A: Im-pasta

Q: How does the ocean say hello?

A: It waves

Q: What do you call cheese that is not

yours?

A: Nacho cheese

Q: What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?

A: A watchdog

Q: What do you call a monkey that loves

potato chips?

A: A chipmonk

100+ KIDS JOKES

Q: What did the girl ocean say to the boy

ocean when he asked her out on a date?

A: Shore

Q: What word starts with E and has only one

letter in it?

A: Envelope.

Q: Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

A: Because the have good soles

Q: Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?

A: Because you can¡¯t see in the dark.

Q: What did one plate say to another plate?

A: Dinner is on me

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an

octopus laugh?

A: Ten tickles

Q: Why did they bury the battery?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on

your fence?

A: Time to get a new fence

Q: Why don¡¯t dinosaurs eat clowns?

A: Because they taste funny

Q: Why did the girl throw a stick of butter?

A: She wanted to see a butter ?y

Q: What did the ?nger say to thumb?

A: I¡¯m in glove with you

Q: What has only one eye, but still can¡¯t

see?

A: A needle

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

A: He wanted to go to high school.

Q: Why did the kid throw the clock out the

window?

A: He wanted to see time ?y.

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: It wasn¡¯t peeling well.

Q: What kind of tree can ?t into your hand?

A: A palm tree!

Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood

tree?

A: By its bark!

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A Gummy Bear

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the dance

alone?

A: He had no body to go with him!

Q: What do you call a cow with three legs?

A: Lean beef

Q: Why did the students eat their homework?

A: Because the teacher told them that it was

a piece of cake.

Q: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?

A: Sorry, it is too cheesy.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me, and we will go places!

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It overswept.

Q: Why wouldn¡¯t the teacher bring the class

to the pumpkin patch?

A: It was in a seedy part of town.

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of

pants?

A: In case he got a hole in one.

Q: What¡¯s another name for a clever duck?

A: Wise quacker!

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

A: They kept saying, ¡°Bach, Bach, Bach.¡±

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: To catch up on his sleep.

100+ KIDS JOKES

Q: Why didn¡¯t the baby skeleton cross the

road alone?

A: Because his mummy was not there!

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?

A. Ground beef.

Q: What did the buffalo say to his kid when

he dropped him off for school?

A: Bison.

Q: What can you catch but not throw?

A: A cold!

Q: What has hands but can¡¯t clap?

A: A clock!

Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?

A: A watch dog!

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

A: The snow!

Q: What nails do carpenters hate

hammering?

A: Fingernails

Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?

A: Because her students were so bright!

Q: Why do seagulls ?y over the sea?

A: Because if they ?ew over the bay they¡¯d

be bagels.

Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he

discovered electricity?

A: Shocked!

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A : a pork chop!

Q: What do you call a ?ower that runs on

electricity?

A: A power plant!

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?

A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?

A: a bald eagle!

Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each

other?

A: They wave!

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: I¡¯ll meet you at the corner!

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An investigator!

Q: What do you get when you cross a

snowman with a vampire

A: Frostbite!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Q: What did the traf?c light say to the car?

A: Don¡¯t peek ¨C I¡¯m changing!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: It was the chicken¡¯s day off

Q: Why couldn¡¯t the pony sing in the choir?

A: Because she was a little horse!

Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?

A: Because he felt crummy!

Q: How do you keep a bull from charging?

A: Take away its credit card!

Q: What is the witch¡¯s favorite school

subject?

A: Spelling!

Q: What has a ton of ears but can¡¯t hear a

thing?

A: A corn ?eld.

Q: What goes up and down but does not

move?

A: Stairs

100+ KIDS JOKES

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Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Boo. Boo who? Don¡¯t cry, it¡¯s just me.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Cow says. Cow says who? NOOOOOO! A cow says moo!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva sore hand from knocking.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow¡­.mooooo.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Interrupting pirate. Interrupting pirate¡­.ARRRRGH

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? A broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it¡¯s pointless.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn¡¯t know that you

could yodel.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Figs. Figs who? Fix the doorbell, it¡¯s broken!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in we¡¯re cold out here!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey, be a dear and make me

a sandwich!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don¡¯t let me in!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Water. Water who? Water way to answer the door.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan on someone your own size.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup to me, and I will tell you!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Isma. Isma who? Isma dinner ready yet?

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, you tell me.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Turnip. Turnip the music, it¡¯s my favorite song!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Butter. butter who? It is butter if you don¡¯t know.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone.

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Thermos. Thermos who? Thermos be a better knock knock

joke than this!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Cook. Cook who? I¡¯m not crazy! You¡¯re the coo coo!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Mikey. Mikey who? My key won¡¯t unlock this door, so let me in!

Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Banana.

Banana who? Knock Knock. Who¡¯s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn¡¯t

say banana again?!?

Will you remember me in 20 years? Will you remember me for one year? Will you remember

me tomorrow? Will you remember in two minutes? Knock knock. Who¡¯s there? you forgot

me already!

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