JOURNALISM 405 -- Non-Fiction Television -- Joe Saltzman
JOURNALISM 521
BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY
SYLLABUS-COURSE READER
Tuesday – 2 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.
ASC 240
INSTRUCTORS
Joe Saltzman, Professor of Journalism
Office: 213-740-3918
Home: 310-377-8883
E-Mail: saltzman@usc.edu
Office Hours:
Monday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Wednesday 10 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. (By Appointment)
Shari Cookson, director, producer and writer of award-wining nonfiction films
Office: 323-2221-1500
E-Mail: sceneworks@
PLAGIARISM
Plagiarism is defined as taking ideas or writings from another and passing them off as one’s own. In journalism, this includes appropriating the reporting of another without clear attribution. The following is the School of Journalism’s policy on academic integrity as published in the University catalogue: “Since its founding, the USC School of Journalism has maintained a commitment to the highest standard of ethical conduct and academic excellence. Any student found guilty of plagiarism, fabrication, cheating on examinations, or purchasing papers or other assignments will receive a failing grade in the course and be dismissed as a major from the School of Journalism. There are no exceptions to this policy.”
ACADEMIC ACCOMMODATIONS
Any student requesting academic accommodations based on a disability is required to register with Disability Services and Programs (DSP) each semester. A letter of verification for approved accommodations can be obtained from DSP. Please be sure the letter is delivered to me as early in the semester as possible. DSP is located in STU 301 and is open from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. The phone number DSP is 213-740-0776.
INTERNSHIPS
The value of professional internships as part of the overall educational experience of our students has long been recognized by the School of Journalism. Accordingly, while internships are not required for successful completion of this course, any student enrolled in this course who undertakes and completes an approved, non-paid internship during this semester shall earn academic extra credit herein of an amount equal to one percent of the total available semester points for this course.
LETTER TO ALL STUDENTS PLANNING TO TAKE J-521
Broadcast Documentary (J-521) is a pre-production course. The purpose is to teach an organizational approach to creating interesting and relevant long-form non-fiction television. While it is not a production course, the assignments are practical and will prepare you for an easy transition into producing the work you do.
Your documentary should revolve around an in-depth profile of an individual whose life and times you will explore in great and compelling detail. It is important that you select this individual BEFORE you attend the first class session.
A profile of an individual is defined in literary terms as a biographical essay presenting the subject's most noteworthy characteristics and achievements, an account of the series of events making up a person's life. In art, the painter creates a picture that is an image or likeness of the subject. In documentary, a profile explores a person’s life and times in all of its complexity. Anyone who sees the final documentary should experience that person’s life as if he or she had lived it. It is a complete visual and audio exploration of a person’s life in great detail showing the viewer who that person is, why that person is important, how that person came to be who he or she is. It is the story of a person’s life and times told through the eyes of that person and the people around him or her.
Some guidelines:
*Your idea should be manageable. Make sure you have easy access (and continual access) to the people and places in your idea.
*Be sure you can finish the Broadcast Documentary treatment in one semester.
*Pick an idea that is easily researched -- preferably one you have researched in the past, or know a good deal about. There isn't a great deal of time to spend on researching an unknown
subject.
*Pick a simple idea. Pick an idea that focuses on one small part of the world in which you live.
Here are some ideas: Profile of a member of your family (anyone who has an interesting career, an interesting life, or interesting stories to tell). Profile of a Quadriplegic, a Welfare Mother, a Juror, an ER Doctor, a Stand-Up Comic, a Night Court Judge, a Baseball Umpire, a Train Conductor, a Truck Driver, a Zoo Keeper, a Sushi Chef, a Tuna Fisherman, a Public Defender or a Criminal Attorney, a Mail Carrier, a Brick Layer, a Bus Driver, an Airline Pilot, a High School Teacher, a Waitress, a Symphony Conductor, a Philanthropist.
*Come to the first class with at least one idea you can live with for an entire semester, one idea you really want to turn into a Broadcast Documentary treatment you can publish when the class is finished.
COURSE DESCRIPTION
This is a pre-production class. It concerns the ethical problems, research, reporting, interviewing, writing, legal issues, economics, aesthetics and diversity of the broadcast documentary.
Course Outcomes:
Journalism 521 enables the student to select a topic and take that topic from an idea to a completed professional broadcast documentary on paper. The final project consists of a complete treatment with audio and video instructions based on a full semester of research, reporting, editing, evaluation. It appears to be the transcript of a finished documentary or a shooting script or an editing script. This final treatment can then be used as the foundation in the production of the documentary in the field.
COURSE REQUIREMENTS
You will be graded on two principal assignments:
1. BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY REVIEWS. Fifteen reviews of Broadcast Documentaries.
2. A BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY TREATMENT complete with audio and video instructions -- for a broadcast documentary. It will be based on a full semester of research, reporting, editing, evaluation. The audio will include transcripts from audiotapes you produce in the field, written interviews and other material. The video will closely approximate the instructions to the cameraperson and eventually the editor. Go on the assumption that if you see it clearly, it can be photographed under your direction; if you hear it clearly, you can use it as audio.
There will be assignments throughout the semester. Most generally will relate to your treatment assignment. This will include finding the subject for your Broadcast Documentaries and getting your subject approved, producing a rough draft of your shooting treatment and producing the final composite treatment that, I hope, you can persuade someone to turn into a finished videotape or film program. In addition, two reviews will be due each week for most of the semester (see important deadlines).
GRADING
Percentage of grade:
Broadcast Documentary Reviews……………….20 per cent
Weekly Assignments……………………………10 per cent
Broadcast Documentary Treatment……………..70 percent
VERY IMPORTANT DEADLINES
You are in a journalism class and consequently are expected to make all deadlines without any delay or excuses. I also expect no absences and no tardies. Make a decision during this first
class -- if you can't handle deadlines and the rest, get out now and save us both a lot of grief.
Here are your assignments and deadlines:
WEEK ONE (August 26)
Orientation
Broadcast Documentary Ideas
ASSIGNMENT: Broadcast Documentary Idea Summary
WEEK TWO (September 2)
Begin Secondary Research, Research Techniques, Lists
DEADLINE: Selection of Broadcast Documentary Idea
WEEK THREE (September 9)
Pre-Video Interview
DEADLINE: List of Objectives
Two Reviews: Harvest of Shame, Crashes
*WEEK FOUR (September 16)
Video Interview
DEADLINE: Last chance to have idea for Broadcast Documentary approved. If no idea is approved by this date, you will receive a "W" or "F"
DEADLINE: List of People
List of Locations and Actualities
List of Video and Audio
List of Topics and Questions
Two Reviews: Superliners, Brain Madness
WEEK FIVE (September 23)
Organization of audio/video elements
DEADLINE: Title and Summary
Two Reviews: Ken Burns’ Civil War, CBS Reports
*WEEK SIX (September 30)
Organization of audio/video elements
DEADLINE: Shooting Schedule: All the audio/video you hope to get on film/tape including interviews, locations, actualities.
Two Reviews: Black on Black, Black History
WEEK SEVEN (October 7)
Structure: Prologue-Beginning
WEEK EIGHT (October 14)
Middle
MIDTERM EVALUATION
WEEK NINE (October 21)
The Middle
DEADLINE: General Summary
WEEK TEN (October 28)
The Epilogue-End
WEEK ELEVEN (November 4)
Structure
DEADLINE: The Beginning: Prologue
WEEK TWELVE (November 11)
Structure. Series.
WEEK THIRTEEN (November 18)
Series
FIRST DEADLINE: TREATMENT
WEEK FOURTEEN (November 25)
FINAL CLASS
LAST DEADLINE: TREATMENT
WEEK FIFTEEN (December 2)
INDIVIDUAL CONFERENCES
EXAMINATION – Thursday, December 11 at 2 p.m.
COMPLETE BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY REVIEWS
NOTHING WILL BE ACCEPTED AFTER THIS DEADLINE
INSTRUCTOR BIO
Joe Saltzman
Joe Saltzman is professor of journalism and director, The Image of the Journalist in Popular Culture (IJPC), a project of the Norman Lear Center, in the USC Annenberg School for Communication. He has been a prolific print and electronic journalist for more than 45 years. He created the broadcasting sequence for the USC School of Journalism in 1974 and served as chair of broadcasting for 17 years as well as associate and acting director of the School of Journalism and associate dean of USC Annenberg for five years. He has taught for almost 40 years, is a tenured professor at USC and the winner of three teaching awards.
Saltzman is currently director of The Image of the Journalist in Popular Culture (IJPC), a Norman Lear Center project (). He has been researching the image of the journalist in popular culture almost 20 years and is considered an expert in the field. The IJPC’s first publication is a book written by Saltzman, Frank Capra and the Image of the Journalist in American Film. The IJPC Web Site and the IJPC Database are considered the major world-wide sources in the field.
Before coming to USC, Saltzman was a senior writer-producer at CBS, Channel 2, in Los Angeles. His documentaries and news specials won more than 50 awards including the Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Award in Broadcast Journalism (broadcasting's equivalent of the Pulitzer Prize), an American Bar Association Silver Gavel Award, two Edward R. Murrow Awards for reporting, two National Association of Television Production Executives (NATPE) awards, an Ohio State University award, two San Francisco State University Broadcast Media awards, four Radio-Television News Association's Golden Mike awards, five National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Regional Emmy Awards, three Greater Los Angeles Press Club awards, five Associated Press Certificates of Excellence and Merit, a Scripps-Howard Foundation Distinguished Journalism citation, American Cancer Society's First Annual Media Award, American Women in Radio and Television's first certificate of commendation, a National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Image Award, and others. Saltzman is listed in Who's Who in America, the International Who's Who in Literature, Who’s Who in Education, Who's Who in California, Who's Who in the West, and International Biography.
Saltzman graduated from the University of Southern California with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism with minors in English, cinema and political science. He was Phi Beta Kappa and editor of the college newspaper, the Daily Trojan. He was a Seymour Berkson Fellow at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism where he received a Master of Science degree with high honors. He also won the Robert Sherwood Traveling Fellowship from Columbia.
After graduation, he was a general assignment reporter for the now defunct daily newspaper, the Minneapolis Star Tribune's San Fernando Valley Times TODAY and news editor of the Palisadian Post, a weekly newspaper in Pacific Palisades, Calif.
He worked for CBS from 1964 to 1974 producing everything from daily newscasts to major documentaries. He produced one of the first television magazines in the country, “Ralph Story's Los Angeles,” and another weekly series with Rod Serling. He won numerous awards for his investigative news series.
But it is his documentary legacy that most will remember. “I believe the documentary films of Joe Saltzman rank among the finest in the world,” said veteran broadcaster-critic Norman Corwin. “If I am wrong, I have wasted 15 years as chairman of the Documentary Awards Committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. In that span I have seen about 2,000 documentaries of all lengths, and based on that experience, I make the flat statement that there are no other filmmakers alive who more consistently, effectively -- and often daringly -- deal with basic aspects of social concern.”
Corwin said that Saltzman's six major documentaries are "properly uneven in style and texture, but uniform in their insight, relevance, penetration, provocativeness and underlying compassion. Each of them zeroes in, with all the firepower of which film is capable, on matters that matter importantly. All are energized by a crusading sense of justice. In a time as callous, indifferent and cynical as the present, it is heartening to find an artist who cares about the problems and anxieties of blacks, of American Indians, of adolescents, of teachers, of rape victims, of cancer patients."
The six award-winning programs are:
Black on Black, a 90-minute landmark documentary told without a narrator depicting how it feels to be black and live in South-Central Los Angeles and first broadcast in 1968. One critic wrote: "The best documentary ever made on what it feels like to be black and live in the urban ghetto." Winner of many awards including the Emmy and the first NAACP Image award for documentary.
The Unhappy Hunting Ground, a 90-minute documentary on the Native American in Los Angeles. Without a narrator, the program is told by the voices and faces of Indians. First broadcast in 1970. One critic wrote: "An agonizing study of the plight of the contemporary American Indian is searching, sad and maddening -- maddening because of what this program shows man can do to man. It is a stunning achievement."
The Junior High School, a two-hour documentary on the junior high school experience. A full year in production, first broadcast in 1972. Part One: "Heaven, Hell or Purgatory." Part Two: "From A to Zoo." One critic wrote: "The finest documentary ever produced on American education. No one should miss it." To which a teacher added, "It fully documents in ways I never thought possible, the world of the junior high school student and teacher. It is an amazing document and for the life of me, I can't figure out how they did it."
The Very Personal Death of Elizabeth Schell Holt-Hartford, a 30-minute documentary on an 82-year-old woman trying to live out her life in dignity. First broadcast in 1972. The Los Angeles Times: "A moving, poignant film essay."
Rape, a 30-minute documentary on the crime of rape. First broadcast in 1974, it achieved the highest rating of any documentary in the history of Los Angeles television at the time. The Los Angeles Times: "The first and best report on the crime of rape ever presented on television."
Why Me? a 60-minute documentary on breast cancer first broadcast in 1974. The first major television documentary to deal with breast cancer. "A landmark documentary," said one critic. The program is credited with saving thousands of lives.
After joining the USC faculty, Saltzman has continued to be a prolific electronic and print journalist, writing a media column for USA Today, the magazine for the Society for the Advancement of Education (where he also serves as associate mass media editor). He has produced many medical documentaries and newsmagazines, functioned as a senior investigative producer for Entertainment Tonight (under famed editor Jim Bellows), and has written articles, reviews, columns, and opinion pieces for numerous magazines and newspapers.
INSTRUCTOR BIO
Shari Cookson
Shari Cookson is an Emmy-nominated® documentary filmmaker and co-founder of the independent documentary production company Sceneworks. Most recently, she directed and produced All Aboard! Rosie’s Family Cruise (HBO) which follows 500 gay and lesbian families on a cruise organized by Rosie O’Donnell and her partner, Kelli. The documentary received three Primetime Emmy® nominations, with Cookson herself garnering two of the nominations for Outstanding Nonfiction Special and as the film’s director. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and was featured at many other film festivals, including Hot Docs. The film won a GLAAD Award for best documentary.
Cookson’s work has aired on HBO for over a decade, including the Emmy® winning Living Dolls - The Making of a Child Beauty Queen for which Cookson was nominated for Outstanding Nonfiction Special. Her film Skinheads USA – Soldiers of the Race War was shot inside a neo-Nazi skinhead compound and earned Cookson a Directors Guild nomination. Cookson also produced Asylum about a hospital for the criminally insane, which premiered at the 1992 Sundance Film Festival.
Cookson directed and produced the highly acclaimed “Signature Series” of documentaries for Lifetime, which included, Dying for Love, Gangs: Not My Kid,
Child Abuse: Innocence on Trial and Post Partum: Beyond the Blues. The Gannett News Service selected it as one of the year’s top five cable series.
Other credits include director, producer, and writer for Christmas Miracle (ABC), featuring Halle Berry and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Cookson was the series producer of On Campus and won a Los Angeles area Emmy for one of her segments on the series.
Her films have received top honors at national festivals including Women in Film, International Film and Television Festival of New York, Houston International Film Festival and as best director in the International Monitor Awards. She was a judge at the 2000 Shanghai International Film Festival.
Cookson graduated magna cum laude from USC with a BA in journalism. Her documentary, Gunshot, won the Academy of Television Arts & Science’s Best College Documentary award.
She developed Gunshot while a student in Joe Saltzman’s class and is thrilled to be co-teaching J-521 with Professor Saltzman for the third year.
Cookson served on the Board of Governors at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences for two terms. During her tenure, she worked to gain recognition for nonfiction directors and writers through the creation of Emmy awards in these categories as well as for Exceptional Merit In Nonfiction Filmmaking. Other Affiliations include the Directors Guild of America.
Cookson started Sceneworks in 2000 with her husband, Charlton McMillan, an editor/filmmaker with whom she has collaborated on numerous films.
THE BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY REVIEWS
There is no real way to learn what a broadcast documentary is all about unless you spend hours looking at broadcast documentaries. The best way to create a style of your own is to learn from and incorporate every good technique you can discover. The more broadcast documentaries you view, the better your chances of weeding out the successful techniques from the unsuccessful ones. You can learn from the mistakes of others; you can learn from the successes of others.
The dilemma in Journalism 521 is that I do not want to waste valuable time just looking at TV programs. We will screen bits and pieces of many broadcast documentaries programs looking for specific techniques and ideas, but to sit there as a class and simply look at a TV program would take up too much time.
You must look at a minimum of 15 Broadcast Documentaries during the semester and file weekly reports. These reports should run one or two pages and should concentrate on the
specific reasons Broadcast Documentary techniques were effective or ineffective. I want a concise analysis of why they did or didn't work. I do not want summaries of the programs or rambling discourses on content. What I want is a carefully documented review of one specific technique used in the program.
PICK ONE SPECIFIC TECHNIQUE AND EXPLAIN IN DETAIL WHY IT IS OR IS NOT EFFECTIVE.
Following are required Broadcast Documentary Assignments:
WEEK THREE:
Crashes: Illusion of Safety
Harvest of Shame
WEEK FOUR:
National Geographic: The Superliners
The Brain: Madness
WEEK FIVE:
Ken Burns’ Civil War (Final Episode)
CBS Reports: The Uncounted Enemy
WEEK SIX:
Black on Black
Black History
You must also review the following:
High School
Junior High School
Pick five or more programs similar to the one you are planning so your final total is 15 programs. Use the VCR Library List or check TV Guide each week.
You may screen any of these at your convenience by reserving viewing time with the teaching assistant. I urge you to view the programs in small groups and to discuss the programs with each other. Share your ideas and criticisms.
The complete Broadcast Documentary Reviews -- including all the reviews returned to you -- must be handed in at the end of the semester as your final take-home examination.
REMEMBER: The more programs you see, the better a Broadcast Documentary producer-writer you will become. Your reports are basically an exercise; the real goal for you is to critically watch as many television Broadcast Documentaries as you can. The real effect will result in the improvement of your own Broadcast Documentary projects as you see what works and what doesn't work on the small screen.
IMPORTANT NOTE: It is important to remember that American society is a multi-faceted one including members of various racial, religious and cultural minorities. It is important when considering every aspect of Broadcast Documentary production to remember this and to incorporate representatives from all parts of the American experience. Much of the class discussion will include the necessity of including a diversity of opinion and people in your programs. Bear this in mind when you view Broadcast Documentaries. Most of the important Broadcast Documentaries deal with some aspect of minorities in our culture, including women and the many hyphenated Americans. Please feel free to bring up any topics along these lines during class discussions.
LIST OF OBJECTIVES
A program begins with an idea. The idea leads to a working title and then a list of objectives that clearly articulate why you want to develop a non-fiction project and what you hope to achieve with it. If you cannot answer two basic questions – “So what?” and “Who cares?” – then you don’t have much of an idea and it won’t make a good program. For that matter, if it isn’t a good idea, you won’t be able to persuade anyone that it needs to be produced.
Choose an idea that sparks your interest and is something you want to watch on television. The idea needs to not only have strong visual elements and good characters, but also must be done within the confines of this class. Regardless of whom you work for, pitching an idea is an essential part of the television process. It is something that is done every day whether in news or in long-form non-fiction programs.
Once you select an idea, you will need to consider the program objectives. What do you want viewers to learn or understand after they watch your finished program? Before you can produce any Broadcast Documentary, make sure you understand why you are doing it and what you hope to achieve with it. Start by making a list of what you want your viewers to learn or understand after they watch the finished program.
SAMPLES:
PERSONAL PROFILE EXAMPLE: A RAPE VICTIM
STOLEN INNOCENCE
(Working title)
NOTICE that the title is a working title. Titles are extremely subjective. Networks change them all the time because they have their own views on what catches a viewer’s attention and what sells. Two and three word titles work much better than longer, more cumbersome titles. The reason concerns attracting an audience and TV listing space.
FIRST EMPHASIZE THE OBJECTIVES INVOLVING THE PROFILE:
To give viewers a sense of what it is like to be a victim of the crime of rape; to show what it is like to be Jane Doe, a 25-year-old woman raped at knife-point, to show what happened before, during and after the rape; to follow her experiences with the police, with the medical staff and with the legal system; to show how the crime affects her family, her friends, her relatives....AND SO ON.
THEN EMPHASIZE THE OBJECTIVES INVOLVING THE PEOPLE AROUND THE PROFILE:
To give viewers a sense of what it is like to know someone who has been raped, to see the effects of the crime on people who are close to the rape victim....AND SO ON.
THEN EMPHASIZE THE OBJECTIVES OF THE GENERAL ISSUES INVOLVED IN THE PROGRAM:
To give viewers an understanding of the crime of rape, how frequent it is, the statistics, the variations on the crime, the effect the legal system has on the rape victim.... AND SO ON.
THE LISTS
Once the idea has been selected, producers embark on a research mission. The purpose is to find what experts and others say about the topic. In research you’ll do interviews with people familiar with your topic as well as articles in professional, trade and popular journals, magazines and newspapers. All are necessary because from these materials, producers find the elements that can best be used to build a cohesive story. The aim is to synthesize the material and to develop a new and comprehensive direction. Managing the information during research becomes an interesting challenge. A way to do it is to build lists concerning the major elements that make up a program.
Research generally yields a variety of sources that range from not terribly useful to essential. The research you find can be used in very specific ways, by pulling out bits of information you need to do your documentary. Begin by highlighting important information throughout your research articles and make notes in margins that pertain to interesting people, places, ideas, and so on. These margin notes form the basis for lists that will play a key role in organizing your project. (Conversely, a lack of such organization can make a non-fiction project a nightmare!)
Instead of reading or browsing through all of the secondary research, you can use it in very specific ways, pulling out of all your research (secondary and direct) the exact bits of information you need to do your broadcast documentary.
These LISTS should be reevaluated every day, updated, changed, added to, edited. They change up to and even during your production-shooting schedule. They begin in secondary research and become increasingly sophisticated as the days/weeks go by, especially during direct research. Update and change them at least once a week, preferably every day.
The five lists (done simultaneously) are:
THE PEOPLE LIST
This list includes any person who has something to say about your subject. It includes "experts" such as authorities, published authors, victims, friends and family of victims and the like. As you compile your list of people (to be consulted during direct research), add an asterisk to any name mentioned more than once. Those names with the most asterisks will be valuable sources for you in the weeks ahead.
At first, this list, as all the others, may well be a wish list compiled from statistical studies and personal evaluation. For example, if you are doing a Broadcast Documentary on rape, you might at first list Victim #1, Victim #2 and Victim #3. As your secondary research continues, Victim #1 will become more specific: perhaps a White, 35-year-old single woman. As you do your direct research, Victim #1 will include a name, an address, and a phone number. The constant evaluation, re-evaluation and updating of your names is very important. Each day, the lists should become more specific.
The People List should include every person (name or description) that you will want to consider for use in your broadcast documentary. Name the person or possibility, and then add a sentence or two describing who this person is and their possible role in the program.
EXAMPLE:
Joe Saltzman, Professor of Journalism in the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Southern California. He is the profile of the broadcast documentary. (COULD ADD MORE DETAILS ABOUT WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE DOES).
Barbara Saltzman. Joe Saltzman's wife, a former editor at the Los Angeles Times and now executive director of the Jester & Pharley Phund, a charity. (COULD ADD MORE DETAILS ABOUT WHO SHE IS AND WHAT SHE DOES)
THE LOCATIONS AND ACTUALITIES LIST
Definition: For the purpose of the class, an actuality is anything that happens or can happen in front of the camera.
This list contains every possible location you will have to go to get your visual and audio information for the Broadcast Documentary. Every person on your list will have at least one location and probably more: residence, work, any location where something happens involving that person. Every actuality has its own location. Document the person's professional and personal life.
The Location-Actualities list should include every location you will want to consider for use in your Broadcast Documentary. Under each location, you should list every conceivable, every possible actuality that may occur. Be as specific as possible. After listing a location, describe why that location is in the program.
EXAMPLE:
Location: Joe Saltzman's home in Palos Verdes Estates. (COULD ADD OTHER DETAILS, ADDRESSES, SPECIFIC LOCATIONS WITHIN THE HOME)
Complete Coverage of Joe Saltzman in his home including (ADD AS MANY SPECIFIC DETAILS AS YOU HAVE)
Then go on to the next location and the other actualities under that specific location.
NOTE: Don't forget locations documenting your profile's daily life -- going to the movies, restaurants, the mall, church, doctor's office, beauty parlor or barber shop, hobbies (golf, tennis, ballroom dancing), and so on.
VISUALS LIST
This list should include every possible visual that is not an actuality that you will want to consider for use in the Broadcast Documentary. These visuals are historic in nature. They include photographs, home or video movies, TV or film clips, graphics, animation, any possible visual idea that may be of use in your Broadcast Documentary. Make sure you describe what each visual consists of and why it is on the list.
EXAMPLE.
Complete photographic coverage of (NAME) from before birth to the present.
AUDIO LIST
This list should include every possible piece of audio that you will want to consider for use in the Broadcast Documentary. IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE ACTUALITY, VISUAL OR INTERVIEW AUDIO MATERIAL. The audio on this list is historic in nature and may include radio broadcasts, sound effects, music, any possible audio idea that may be of use in your Broadcast Documentary.
TOPIC-QUESTION-STATEMENT LIST
This is the most difficult list to compile. It is a single list of topics-questions for everyone, not separate lists of questions for each person on your list. By rewording each question, it can work for every pre-video interview.
All of your questions must encourage dialogue and conversation. Do not include any yes/no questions (Do you like living in California?) or any questions that will end up in short answers (How old are you?).
The first thing to do is to create a list of topics that covers the entire range of your broadcast documentary. This list can first be compiled by sitting in front of a computer screen or blank piece of paper and listing all of the possible questions and ideas you have about the Broadcast Documentary. Then this list can be fleshed out through your secondary research. Chapter endings in a good book on your subject can be helpful. A Time or Newsweek cover story on your subject can be helpful. The topics should completely cover the subject area. For example, in a program about RAPE, the topics would include:
Definition of Rape -- What is Rape?
Myths about Rape
What happened before the Rape?
What happened during the Rape?
What happened after the Rape?
The Police
The Doctors
The Courtroom
Reaction of Parents/Friends
What to do when confronted by a Rapist
And so on. Under each topic heading, list the questions that occur to you, and add to these topics and questions as you complete your secondary research. The more research you do, the clearer the topics and questions will be. You should have only a few questions under each topic. If you have more than a dozen questions, your topic is probably too large. Keep the topics short and specific. Childhood. Parents. Siblings. Junior High School. High School. College. First Job. And so on.
REMEMBER: Your goal in the pre-video interview is not to get quick answers to complicated questions, but to eventually get on camera self-contained statements rather than answers to questions.
Here is one way to begin. Don't forget to add any specific questions for your particular topics and to rewrite basic questions suggested in syllabus to fit each particular topic.
CHILDHOOD
Describe your childhood.
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences growing up? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
Describe your hopes, your dreams when you were a child. Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What was the best part of growing up, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about being a kid, like the most about being a kid?
What did you think about before you fell asleep?
PARENTS
Describe your parents.
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences with your parents? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
What was the best part of being with your parents, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about your parents, like the most about your parents?
SIBLINGS (REPLACE WITH PROPER NAME FOR EACH BROTHER AND SISTER. MAKE A SEPARATE TOPIC FOR EACH BROTHER AND SISTER)
Describe your brothers, sisters.
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences with your siblings? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
What was the best part of being with your siblings, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about your siblings, like the most about your siblings?
GRAMMAR SCHOOL
Describe your grammar school
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences at school? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
Describe your hopes, your dreams when you were in school. Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What was the best part of being in school, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about school, like the most about school?
Describe you favorite teacher, least favorite teacher
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL
Describe your junior high school
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences at school? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
Describe your hopes, your dreams when you were in school. Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What was the best part of being in school, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about school, like the most about school?
Describe you favorite teacher, least favorite teacher
HIGH SCHOOL AND TEENAGE YEARS
Describe your teenage years, describe high school.
ADD QUESTIONS APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT
What were your best experiences as teenager? In high school? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
Describe your hopes, your dreams when you were a teenager. Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What was the best part of being a teenager, being in school, the worst part, the most memorable part?
What did you dislike most about being a teenager, being in high school, like the most about being a teenager, being in high school?
What did you think about before you fell asleep?
Describe your favorite teacher, least favorite teacher
COLLEGE YEARS
Same format.
FIRST JOB
Same format
WORK (SUBSTITUTE SPECIFIC WORK FOR YOUR PROFILE)
Describe a typical day from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed
Describe your work, what you do at work.
Describe your boss, your co-workers
What were your best experiences at work, your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences at work?
What's the hardest part, the easiest part of your job?
Describe your hopes, your dreams at work
Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What do you hate the most about being at work, like the most about being at work.
OTHER TOPICS TO BE INCLUDED:
THE FUTURE
DATING/SEX
COURTSHIP/MARRIAGE
RELIGION
HOBBIES
CHILDREN/FAMILY
DAILY LIFE
NOW ADD THOSE TOPICS THAT ARE APPLICABLE TO YOUR SUBJECT AND DON'T FORGET TO USE THE EXPERIENCE QUESTIONS WHEN THEY ARE APPROPRIATE.
ASKING QUESTIONS
Never ask questions that result in "yes" or "no" answers, or very short answers. Always start with phrases that encourage longer, more descriptive answers: "Tell me about...." or "Describe...." Always include a "Why" element in the question.
EXAMPLES:
WRONG: Did you see the burglar when you opened the door?
RIGHT: Tell me what happened when you opened the door.
WRONG: How old were you when your mother died?
RIGHT: Tell me how old you were and what happened when your mother died. Or better yet, describe your childhood.
WRONG: When were you raped?
RIGHT: Tell me what happened before, during and after the rape?
WRONG: I imagine you felt as if your world had collapsed when you heard about your husband's death, that you felt as if your insides had been ripped out and that nothing mattered anymore and that everything became incomprehensible and wrong, and that everything came at you in a flood of memory and... on and on and on. SHUT UP AND LET THEM DO THE TALKING.
Here are some topics and questions that usually result in interesting statements:
Describe your childhood. Describe your parents, sisters, brothers, family.
Describe your teenage years and high school. Describe your college years. Describe your first job.
What do you think about just before you fall asleep at night?
Then add the following questions to any topic or category:
What were your best experiences? Your worst experiences? The funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences?
Describe your hopes, your dreams. Describe your fears, your nightmares.
What was the best part, the worst part, the most memorable part of.....
What did you dislike most about....like most about.....
INTERVIEWING
General Print Interview Techniques
(Pre-Production Interviewing)
Your first task is to make sure the person trusts and likes you. You must win the interviewer's confidence or the interview won't work. Be agreeable. Be interested. If you look bored, the interview will be dull. Show the person you are interviewing that you are more interested in what he/she is saying than anything in the world. Win that person's confidence so that he/she will feel comfortable talking to you. Be sympathetic, honest. Talk yourself into being interested.
LISTEN. When the person answers your question or talks to you in any manner, listen intently to what he/she is saying. Take as many notes as you can. If the person speaks too fast, ask him/her the question again, or say, "You're telling me so many good things, I want to make sure I get what you are saying down perfectly. Could you please go over that again?" Or restate what he/she has told you and let him/her tell you it again; the person will tell you the same information in different language and it will help you make sure you have it right. BUT REMEMBER TO LISTEN AND DO AS LITTLE TALKING AS POSSIBLE: simple questions, words of approval and encouragement. Learn to keep your mouth shut and let the other person do the talking.
Ask lazy questions when your hand is getting so tired it seems as if it will fall off; a question that you really don't have to have a good answer for, but a question that will give you time to rest and get ready for the next important question. But a word of warning: Don't look bored or disinterested while he/she is answering that question; often a "lazy" question can turn into a dynamite answer. Also, you must always pay attention to the interviewee; never let him/her feel he/she is boring you.
Ask innocent, general questions at first, then lead up to your more important questions. Don't ask him, "Why did you kill your wife?" the minute you meet the person you are interviewing. Ask general questions -- tell me about your book; how do you feel about that problem; why did you decide to come to Los Angeles, and so on. Win confidence and establish a relaxing atmosphere.
A good technique in getting some final questions answered is to thank the subject for the interview, put away your notes and start to leave. This will thoroughly relax the interviewee -- he/she will think, "Thank God, this is over," smile, and begin to walk you to the door thanking you for the interview. As you get ready to leave, say, "Oh, yes...there was one other question...." Ask it and as he/she answers it, take out your note pad and begin once again taking notes. You can use this technique as often as you like during the same interview. Those last answers usually turn out to be the best. The person is more relaxed, less on guard.
Never lose eye contact with your subject. If your eyes are locked into the interviewee's eyes, he/she will be less likely to lie to you and to feel you are uninterested in what he/she is saying. Let the person always feel you are more interested in what he/she is saying than anything else in the world.
Telephone interviews are rougher. You must still win the person's confidence – but this time over an anonymous phone. Be polite, be humble, identify yourself immediately and be very apologetic about bothering him/her. Try to get the interviewee to talk about anything. No matter what the interview situation is – on the telephone or in person – the more he/she talks to you, and the
more you listen, the friendlier the situation will become and the better the interview will be.
In hard news situations, an interview is generally used for one purpose -- to get hard and fast information. In that case, just ask the questions fast and try to get an answer -- almost any answer will do. Keep pressing until he/she gives you the information or hangs up on you. Then call again. Never give up. But always be polite. And be sure to LISTEN to the answers -- the person may be evading your questions so neatly that only a careful listening to the answer will reveal this.
There are some ways you can use a bit of information in order to get more information. That bit of information should either be the truth or information based on a kernel of truth -- anything to get the real facts of the story. For example, you can give out information that may be inaccurate so that the speaker will correct you with the accurate information. (Tell a bank manager, for example, that you have learned that the bandits took $5,073.79 – always be very specific in the amount. He will correct you by saying you are wrong in that amount. You will be insistent. Say your sources are impeccable. It doesn't hurt if he saw you talking to the tellers earlier. He will probably end up telling you, "No, you are definitely wrong. I know. They only took $2,078.57. I'm the bank manager and I know more about it than you do.")
If you have two sources, call up one with all the information you have and add a bit of false information. Let Source No. 1 correct you. Then call up Source No. 2. Tell him/her all the information you now have and add a bit of false information. Let Source No. 2 correct you. Go back to Source No. 1. Slowly you will build an accurate account of what happened, how it happened, why it happened.
Be humble, even naive. Don't let the interviewee lose respect for you. It's a fine line. Do not act arrogant or be a smart-alec. Never argue with the person you are interviewing even if he/she is telling you things you know are not true or are bigoted or just plain stupid. Agree, take notes. Then, after you win confidence, you might say, "Some people might disagree with you. I've heard that...and so on." Let him/her say those people are wrong and the answer correcting the criticism will usually be good, strong copy. But don't fight with the person you are interviewing. Your job is to get statements -- the way the person feels -- down as clearly as possible. Then, let the reader judge as to whether the opinions are stupid or intelligent, true or false . Be complete. Let the interviewee say, after reading your interview, that it really sums up what he/she believes on a variety of subjects. Let the lying interviewees hang themselves. Don't help. Just quote them as accurately as possible and if they are deceitful, they will destroy themselves all by themselves.
A final quote from a TIME reporter:
"Finding people who will damn themselves out of
their own mouths is not as hard as it seems:
Given half a chance, most people will talk
interminably about whatever possesses them, and
the reporter who nods long enough in a sympathetic
way cannot help but stumble over the most amazing
self-incriminations -- most people are just not
used to having others listen to them."
BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY SHOOTING SCHEDULE FORMAT
The shooting schedule assignment in Journalism 521 is not the practical shooting schedule used in the industry. That shooting schedule includes a day-by-day schedule of what will be shot listing instructions to locations, contacts, time of shoot and so on.
The assigned shooting schedule in Journalism 521 is different. It is a summary of all the video and audio you will need for your program organized by LOCATION. It is an overview of the video and audio available and where to get it. It includes information from all of the previously compiled lists: The People List, the Location-Actuality List, The Video List, the Audio List, and the Topic-Question List.
Here's how to do the assigned shooting schedule. Do not read ahead. The format will be fully explained in class. Then the following material can be used for reference.
1. The first thing to do is to write a SUMMARY OF FORMAL INTERVIEW. These are the topics and questions you will ask every person you interview. Summarize every topic and question on your topic-question list in paragraph form. This is your formal interview summary.
EXAMPLE: The participants in the program will discuss:
Then add your summary of topics-questions. Do each topic in a separate paragraph. Do not repeat the opening line.
It helps to use the third person. Here is an example of how to sum up each topic:
JOE SALTZMAN'S CHILDHOOD. They will describe his earliest memories of newspapers, television, television news, reading, watching TV. What were the best/worst parts of growing up. The best experiences, worst experiences, funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences. The best part of growing up, the worst part, the most memorable part? What Saltzman disliked most about being a kid, liked the most about being a kid, what he thought about before he fell asleep at night. AND SO ON.
JOE SALTZMAN'S PARENTS. They will describe his relationship with his mother, his father, his parents' method of discipline. The best experiences, worst experiences with his parents, his funniest, happiest, saddest, scariest, weirdest, most memorable experiences. The best part of being with his parents, the worst part, the most memorable part. What he disliked, liked most about his parents. AND SO ON.
2. On a separate piece of paper, list one of the most important locations from your LOCATION- ACTUALITY LIST. Describe that location as fully as possible. Use a separate page (or pages) for each location.
EXAMPLE:
Location: School of Journalism Offices, Annenberg School for Communication, University of Southern California campus, the Annenberg Building, Third Floor. (YOU COULD ALSO GIVE ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBERS AS WELL AS CONTACT PERSONS).
3. Then list all the complete formal interviews, all of the persons to be interviewed at this specific location. Describe who the person to be interviewed is in as much detail as possible. Then write: SEE FORMAL INTERVIEW SUMMARY. This refers to the summary of your complete formal interview. That way you do not have to repeat that information for each formal interview. Then you can add any information gathered in the pre-video interview that is unique to that person.
EXAMPLE:
Formal Interview: Joe Saltzman, USC Professor of Journalism. Saltzman created the broadcast sequence in the School of Journalism in 1974. (YOU CAN ADD MORE DETAILS OF HIS BACKGROUND). See Formal Interview Summary.
Formal Interview: Pat Dean, Associate Director, USC School of Journalism (ADD BACKGROUND DETAILS). See Formal Interview Summary.
(Continue to list each person to be interviewed at this specific location. There may be one person or many persons involved depending on the location and your people list. List only the formal interviews first.)
By the time you finish each location, all of the persons on your people list should be included at one location or another, or at several locations if there are actuality interviews.
4. Then list any Actuality Interviews to be held at this location.
Do not forget to distinguish between the Formal Interview and the Actuality Interview. An Actuality Interview includes pieces of the Complete Formal Interview redone at a specific location for use only as on-camera sound statements. In an actuality interview, only list the specific topics-questions involved.
EXAMPLE:
Actuality Interview: John Smith, student worker who answers the phones at the front desk. While he answers the phones, he will explain what he does and how he does it; the problems he has in doing his job; what he likes and dislikes most about the job; how he feels about the School of Journalism; (AND SO ON).
LIST ALL ACTUALITY INTERVIEWS AVAILABLE WITH THE PERSON'S NAME AND IDENTIFICATION AND THE SPECIFIC TOPICS-QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED.
5. Then list every possible actuality to be shot at this location. Be creative. You already have a camera crew at the location and you might as well get as much actuality material (commonly referred to as "B" Reel) as possible since you can never have enough video.
EXAMPLE:
Actuality: Complete Coverage of Joe Saltzman's Office including (DESCRIBE ALL OF THE POSSIBILITIES INVOLVED: talking to students, answering the phone, speaking with colleagues, working the computer, whatever he naturally does in a day's work.)
Actuality: Complete Coverage of Pat Dean's Office including (DESCRIBE ALL OF THE POSSIBILITIES INVOLVED: talking to students, answering the phone, speaking with colleagues, working on the computer, meeting with her staff, meeting with the director, whatever she naturally does in a day's work.)
(CONTINUE TO LIST SPECIFIC AND PROBABLE ACTUALITIES FOR EACH PERSON TO BE INTERVIEWED AT THIS SPECIFIC LOCATION.)
Then add any other actualities that are not specifically involved with your interviews:
EXAMPLE:
Actuality: Complete Coverage of the tour of Annenberg Third Floor Offices including showing various departments at work. (DESCRIBE IN DETAIL EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO SHOOT DURING THIS TOUR. IN THIS CASE DESCRIBE EACH OFFICE, WHO IS IN THE OFFICE, WHAT THEY ARE DOING, AND SO ON).
6. Then list any visuals or audio material to be picked up at this location. Only list video or audio specifics from your video and audio lists that are applicable.
EXAMPLE:
Video: In Joe Saltzman's office are videotapes of his programs. Pick up (LIST SPECIFIC VIDEO TAPES AND REASONS FOR INCLUDING THEM IN THE PROGRAM).
Audio: In Joe Saltzman's office there are audiotapes of a media seminar speech he gave in 1991. Pick up (LIST SPECIFIC AUDIO TAPES AND REASONS FOR INCLUDING THEM IN THE PROGRAM).
After including all of the Formal Interviews, the actuality interviews, the actualities, then visuals and the audio that is available in this one location, then get a new piece of paper and list the next most important location and continue until every location on your LOCATION-ACTUALITY LIST is included and every person on your PEOPLE LIST, every actuality on your LOCATION-ACTUALITY LIST, and every visual and audio on your VISUAL-AUDIO LIST are included under a specific location.
Anything left out of your SHOOTING SCHEDULE cannot be used in your program at this time, although your Shooting Schedule can be drastically revised throughout the rest of the semester.
THE BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY TREATMENT FOR JOURNALISM 521
NOTES FOR PUTTING TOGETHER THE BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY
Audio and video elements you have at your disposal include:
ELEMENT AUDIO VIDEO
Written Narration On Camera On Camera
ALWAYS SOUND FULL Voice Over Actualities
Visuals
Interview Material On Camera On Camera
ALWAYS SOUND FULL Voice Over Actualities
Visuals
Actualities Sound Full On Screen
Sound Under On Screen
No Sound On Screen
Audio Elements Sound Full or Sound Under
(Music, Effects, Sound Clips, etc.)
Video Elements On Screen
(Photographs, Stills, Paintings, Graphics, Clips)
Assembling the broadcast documentary is a difficult process. Putting together all of these elements into a cohesive whole takes experience and time. Here are three possible ways to put together the broadcast documentary. You integrate all three methods into the final product, but each method gives you a place to start. Most TV documentaries include interview material, actualities (sound full and sound under), and written narration. Here are three ways to start:
AUDIO CONTINUITY TRACK
The audio continuity track is a way to organize your broadcast documentary primarily around your interview material. It is essential that you have good, comprehensive interviews. The more people interviewed, the more effective this method. Think of the audio continuity track as the foundation of your program, an empty Christmas tree on which to hang ornaments. It is the best way for a young TV producer-writer to create an organized, coherent program.
The process is cumbersome, but effective. There are short cuts but save those for future programs.
The first step is to transcribe all of your interviews. The following format is effective. Leave plenty of white space between each statement, and around each statement. Number each page as it is transcribed along with the name of the person being interviewed. Photocopy the pile of transcribed pages. (If you want to do this on a computer, simply make a new copy of the file and work in that file).
The transcribed pages should look something like this:
Page 1 -- Media Expert's Name
If your view of the world is dependent on American
newspapers and radio and TV newscasts, it is a strange
view indeed. It is a world in which no one uses language
worse than "damn," "hell," and an occasional "bastard";
the repulsive, obnoxious and unacceptable are framed
in enough polite words and phrases ("explicit,"
"provocative," "outrageous") to cover up a multitude of
human sin and ugliness and the way Americans talk
and act and live and die is so prettified that the reality
of the event is compromised.
All this is done in the name of good taste. You can't show
broken, tortured bodies or angry faces screaming out
profanity on the evening news because people are eating
dinner, the media proclaim. You can't explain torture in
Latin America or the true horrors of a drug war or
2 Live Crew lyrics in the morning newspaper because
people just woke up. It's not nice to disturb the
tranquility and sanctity of the American household.
News media editors always use the excuse that "we
are guests in somebody's home" when challenged as
to why they aren't showing their viewers or readers
the raw, accurate reality of the world in which we
live. But is that good enough when the consequences
of not presenting the events of the day with all
of their crudeness and harshness leave Americans
ignorant about what really is going on in their local,
regional, national, and global neighborhoods?
Page 2 -- Media Expert's Name (AND KEEP NUMBERING PAGE AFTER PAGE)
You use your margins to organize the material.
1. Take your list of topics (the subject areas that included all of your questions) and in the LEFT margin mark the appropriate topic that best sums up the statement. Since the topics reflect the questions asked, the statements should fit neatly into one or more topics. Remember that you should have at least 15-20 topics. A topic should be short enough so that it only includes a limited amount of information. In a program about Rape, for example, topics would include: Definition of Rape, Myths about Rape, Before the Rape, During the Rape, After the Rape, Police, Medical Problems, Judges, Courtroom, What to Do after the Rape, and so on.
2. Then, also in the LEFT margin, write the page number of the transcript page.
3. Then, also in the LEFT margin, write the name of the person being interviewed.
4. You can also assess the quality of the sound statement in the LEFT margin.
This is all that needs to be done. There is no reason to even view the video unless there is time or more specific information is needed (voice inflection, quality of video, focal length, etc.).
If you do view the video, then you can do the following:
1. Write the video timecode in the RIGHT margin. Video timecode is standard throughout the industry: 00:00:00:00. It stands for hours:minutes:seconds:frames. There is no reason to refer to specific frames until you actually construct a specific edit script, and even then frames are mostly unnecessary.
2. In the right margin, you can also write down the quality of the video, the focal length (close-up, medium shot) and any other information that seems relevant (poor video, bad shot, etc.).
Then the transcript looks something like this:
Page 1 -- Media Expert's Name
TOPIC If your view of the world is dependent on American TIMECODE
newspapers and radio and TV newscasts, it is a strange
PAGE view indeed. It is a world in which no one uses language QUALITY
NO. worse than "damn," "hell," and an occasional "bastard";
the repulsive, obnoxious and unacceptable are framed FOCAL
PERSON’S in enough polite words and phrases ("explicit," LENGTH
NAME "provocative," "outrageous") to cover up a multitude of
human sin and ugliness; and the way Americans talk
and act and live and die is so prettified that the reality
of the event is compromised.
TOPIC All this is done in the name of good taste. You can't show TIMECODE
broken, tortured bodies or angry faces screaming out
PAGE profanity on the evening news because people are eating QUALITY
NO. dinner, the media proclaim. You can't explain torture in
Latin America or the true horrors of a drug war or FOCAL
PERSON’S 2 Live Crew lyrics in the morning newspaper because LENGTH
NAME people just woke up. It's not nice to disturb the
tranquility and sanctity of the American household.
TOPIC News media editors always use the excuse that "we TIMECODE
are guests in somebody's home" when challenged as
PAGE to why they aren't showing their viewers or readers QUALITY
NO. the raw, accurate reality of the world in which we
live. But is that good enough when the consequences
PERSON’S of not presenting the events of the day with all of their FOCAL
NAME crudeness and harshness leave Americans ignorant LENGTH
about what really is going on in their local, regional,
national, and global neighborhoods?
Make a copy of this marked up transcript. (If you want to use a computer, simply make a copy of this file and work in that file.)
Then take a blank piece of paper and print the first topic on your list: TOPIC-1. Then take the second topic on your list and print the second topic on another piece of blank paper: TOPIC-1. (Definition of Rape-1, Myths about Rape-1, Before the Rape-1, During the Rape-1, After the Rape-1, and so on).
Cut out your statements and paste them on the appropriate page. If you then need a second page, put TOPIC-2, TOPIC-3 and so on until all of the appropriate statements are attached to the proper topic page. (Myths about Rape-1, Myths about Rape-2, Myths about Rape-3, and so on.)
Then put the topic sheets into a rough order.
Make a copy of your topic sheets.
(NOTE: This can all be done on a computer simply by moving the statements into other word -processing files. Each new file can be named for a specific topic (Definitions, Myths, Before, During, After). Instead of pasting the statements on a blank piece of paper, you simply transfer the material to a specific file).
Now you are ready to build your Audio Continuity Track. Take the topic that seems appropriate to begin the broadcast documentary. Read over all of the statements in that topic category. Mark each statement or kick it out. Number each statement in order of preference and use. By the time you finish marking the statements in each topic, each statement should be numbered or crossed out.
Then mark on the top of a blank piece of paper, Audio Continuity Track-1, and paste the statements on the page in numerical order leaving a good deal of white space between each statement so you can later write in notes on actualities, visuals, and other information.
When the Audio Continuity Track is completed and all statements are either assembled in numerical order or thrown away, then make a copy of your finished Audio Continuity Track. You will integrate all actualities, visuals, and any written narration into the Audio Continuity Track later.
NOTE: Often, you will find statements that should have been integrated into the Audio Continuity Track earlier or later, or statements that seem out of place (put them on a separate sheet as you plow through the topic statements), or simply errors of judgment. Most Audio Continuity Tracks have many ongoing changes. A typical order would be 1 -- 2 -- 2a -- 2b -- 3 -- 4 -- 4a -- 4b and so on. You may even find in some cases that you have added so many statements that you are forced to go to 5aa. None of this matters as long as the statements are in the best order you can create for continuity and content.
(NOTE: You can use the computer simply by creating a new file marked: "Audio Continuity Track" and transferring into that file each numbered statement in order. It is far easier on a computer because you can easily put in additional statements, or take them out, with a simple computer command.)
The Audio Continuity Track gives the broadcast documentary substance and form. You do not have to start the program with the Audio Continuity Track. The program may start after a series of actualities sound full. Often actualities sound full will enhance the Audio Continuity Track. You also may need written narration for smoother continuity. But by starting with this bare outline of interview material, you have focused in on content, and visuals always are enhanced when they are used to make a specific story point or when they are used to amplify specific content.
VISUAL CONTINUITY
It is important to have a complete list of all of your visual elements, especially visual and audio material contained in your actualities. This list can be used to help you integrate actualities and other visuals into your Audio Continuity Track, or to integrate actualities and other visuals into a broadcast documentary consisting of mostly written narration, or to create a broadcast documentary using only these actualities and other visual materials.
Make a list of all your actualities (for class, an actuality is anything you have seen or heard about; in the real world, you would take notes on all the actualities you shot in the field). Transcribe any usable audio.
Make a list of all of the other visual possibilities (photographs, home movies, film or TV clips, and other visuals).
If you are doing a broadcast documentary that is primarily actualities, begin to build the program by assembling your actualities sound full in a logical order. Then make a decision as to whether you need written narration or interview narrative to augment the video continuity.
There will be much material in class discussing the importance of video continuity including general video continuity and specific video continuity. Effective broadcast writing is using all video and audio elements at your command. The perfect marriage between audio and video is what you should try to achieve. This is very difficult. Unlike audio editing, video editing involves a thousand different decisions, many done purely on instinct and feel. Learning to do that is beyond the possibilities of this class. Improve your visual knowledge by using a 35mm camera, watching TV without the sound, immersing yourself in film and TV programming.
WRITTEN NARRATION CONTINUITY
If your interviews are weak or nonexistent and if your actualities are poor, then you can always fall back on a program mostly using written narration. Written narration used sparingly and effectively is a good device for any Broadcast Documentary. Unfortunately it usually is a last-ditch attempt to save a poorly produced Broadcast Documentary
Sit down at your computer or typewriter and write the complete Broadcast Documentary treatment from beginning to end in written narration leaving out nothing and including everything. Fill up the right side of one page after another with written narration.
Then go back to whatever interview material or actualities you have compiled and substitute any interview material or actualities that seem appropriate, kicking out the redundant narration.
FINISHING THE TREATMENT
If you have assembled an Audio Continuity Track, begin to integrate all actualities (sound full and sound under) into the Audio Continuity Track. You may elect to begin the program with an actuality sound full, or several actualities sound full, finally starting your Audio Continuity Track several minutes into the Broadcast Documentary. You might then use several statements and then go to another actuality sound full. The idea is to work your way through the Audio Continuity Track determining where actualities will enhance your presentation, adding to the viewer's understanding and knowledge of the subject. Actualities can be used to aid continuity by summing up in action what several speakers have discussed, or it can be used to introduce another subject entirely. Any Broadcast Documentary benefits by letting the audience eavesdrop on the people involved in that Broadcast Documentary. Actualities are the heart and muscle of any Broadcast Documentary; the Audio Continuity Track is the brain. Use both to make an effective Broadcast Documentary.
Written narration can be used effectively when it comes to giving the audience information. There is nothing clearer or more powerful than a narrator on camera looking into the camera speaking directly to the viewer. Written narration is effective in transitions, in conveying difficult information quickly to the viewer, in summing up ideas and content. Just because it has been used badly in the past doesn't mean it isn't an effective tool for the non-fiction TV producer-writer. Use it whenever necessary. If you decide to use written narration, however, establish the written narration either in the prologue or at the beginning of the middle. You cannot throw in written narration in the middle of a Broadcast Documentary if you have never established a narrator before. The mysterious voice comes out of nowhere and destroys your production.
Use every audio and video tool you have available to produce an informative, entertaining and interesting Broadcast Documentary. In the end it really doesn't matter what approach you use, or what combination of approaches you use as long as the Broadcast Documentary is complete, well organized, and pertinent. But for young producer-writers, the Audio Continuity Track method guarantees that at the very least a Broadcast Documentary with a good beginning, middle and end will be finished in time for broadcast.
THE GENERAL SUMMARY
The general summary is a description of every video and audio element in your Broadcast Documentary from the beginning (prologue), through the middle (the complete program), through the epilogue.
Divide the paper into three sections: Prologue, Middle and Epilogue. You can use the completed general summary when it is returned to you as your guide for putting your program together.
Every full-length Broadcast Documentary Treatment done in class should have:
THE PROLOGUE or The Beginning. The prologue should define in some way (specific or subtle) what the program is about. It should appeal to the viewer, creating an interest in the program, and it should somehow lead into the title. Then go into your first commercial break.
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK --
THE MIDDLE. The middle is really the program itself with its own beginning, middle and end. It should be complete in itself without relying on the prologue or epilogue. Then go to your second commercial break.
-- COMMERCIAL BREAK --
THE EPILOGUE. The epilogue can be used to summarize the program, or it can be used as an emotional afterthought that leaves the viewer with a symbolic or dramatic idea, or it can be an editorial commentary. Credits follow the epilogue.
NOTE: It is not necessary to have a prologue or an epilogue, but this kind of structure works best in commercial television.
Here’s how to do the assignment:
THE PROLOGUE:
The Prologue should be described as completely as possible with all of the video and audio ideas summarized. It is not a good idea to clutter this summary with technical jargon: zooms, pans, focal lengths, cuts, dissolves or effects. Stick to content. What are we seeing and hearing.
What you want to do is to describe the CONTENT of your program in as much visual and audio detail as possible. Describe what we are seeing and hearing, not how we are seeing and hearing it.
THE MIDDLE:
The Middle should be described in the following way:
UMBRELLA: Sum up the Natural Sound Full opening segment that will begin your documentary proper. Explain what we are seeing and hearing.
AUDIO: LIST THE TOPIC OR TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED BY ALL PARTICIPANTS
VIDEO: Describe what we are seeing.
AUDIO: LIST THE TOPIC OR TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED BY ALL PARTICIPANTS
VIDEO: Describe what we are seeing.
Continue like this until you have covered ALL YOUR TOPICS and then go to your second commercial break. Integrate your Umbrella segments at regular intervals:
AUDIO: LIST THE TOPIC OR TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED BY ALL PARTICIPANTS
VIDEO: Describe what we are seeing.
UMBRELLA: Sum up the Natural Sound Full opening segment. Explain what we are seeing and hearing.
AUDIO: LIST THE TOPIC OR TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED BY ALL PARTICIPANTS
VIDEO: Describe what we are seeing.
AUDIO: LIST THE TOPIC OR TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED BY ALL PARTICIPANTS
VIDEO: Describe what we are seeing.
AND SO ON.
THE EPILOGUE:
The Epilogue should be described as completely as possible with all of the video and audio ideas summarized. It is not a good idea to clutter this summary with technical jargon: zooms, pans, focal lengths, cuts, dissolves or effects. Stick to content. What are we seeing and hearing.
What you want to do is to describe the CONTENT of your program in as much visual and audio detail as possible. Describe what we are seeing and hearing, not how we are seeing and hearing it.
RULES TO FOLLOW FOR THE BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY TREATMENT:
1. Double-Space all WRITTEN NARRATION.
2. Single-space all AUDIO on the right side of the page. AUDIO: ONLY WHAT WE HEAR
3. Single-space all INSTRUCTIONS on the left side of the page.
4. Leave plenty of white space between audio statements and between audio-video instructions. Don't be afraid to use a lot of paper.
5. Put at least one inch of white space between your video and audio columns
6. LEFT SIDE OF THE PAGE -- ALL AUDIO AND VIDEO INSTRUCTIONS
7. RIGHT SIDE OF THE PAGE -- ONLY AUDIO THAT WILL BE HEARD BY THE VIEWER
Other notes:
*Do not put (More) at the end of each page
*Do not write in All Caps
*Put your name and page number on each page
*Follow instructions in syllabus and in class on basic copy preparation
You will be graded in the following categories:
*Completeness
*Organization
*Clarity
*Continuity
*Writing
*Reporting
*Research
*Visuals
*Style
*Effort
Some valuable advice for doing your final project:
*Remember: this is a general summary of content. Do not clutter up your summary with technical details or meaningless phrases (The audio will be supplemented by video.) Do not state the obvious: "The montage will consist of a variety of footage..." "He too will have a chyron stating his name and title in white..." "the audio element will then change to sound under and a voice-over of the main profile will become audible."
*On-Camera and voice-over statements are always sound full. Remember to do the assignment: Sum up the video and audio content of the general summary. Content is the key word.
*Do not refer to interviews. There are no longer any interviews. There are just sound statements on camera or voice over. Interviews no longer exist
*Introduce as many of your speakers as possible early in the middle. By using their voices on as many topics as possible, you can introduce them as early as possible.
*Integrate and use as many voices as possible on each topic. Don't parade in one speaker at a time to make a point. Use all the voices as often as possible on each topic. Build a smooth-flowing audio continuity track throughout. Try to get their comments on as many topics as possible so they can make an appearance earlier in the program. Don't use one speaker for each topic. Unless you use these voices throughout, the program becomes disjointed and fragmented.
*It is important to fill your program with as many actualities as possible since this gives viewers a chance to eavesdrop and find out things for themselves about your profile. Nothing makes for better TV than being able to eavesdrop and discover truths for yourself. When you can give that gift to your viewer, you're producing good Broadcast Documentaries. Work on actuality sound full and let the viewers see and hear for themselves.
*Do not refer to any times (Hold for about 5 seconds). You have no times at all. Nothing has been shot or edited. Leave out all times.
*Work on a smooth-flowing audio continuity track. Put your topics into a good order. Do not jump back and forth in time. Cover each topic completely before you move on and use as many voices as possible on each specific topic.
*Remember basic copy rules. Do not split sentences or paragraphs from one page to another. Read your work over for typographical and grammatical errors.
*Number the pages consecutively from prologue to epilogue.
Put your name and page number on each page.
*Follow the examples in the your syllabus as to proper style and e-mail me if you have any questions.
The following treatment samples are from student projects. They provide examples of correct style and of problem areas. The comments and corrections (in bold) point out some common mistakes. Also included are comments about why these excerpts are successful. Note that the excerpts were lifted from various sections of the treatments. If chryons and character descriptions are missing, it is because these occurred earlier in the documentary. The italicized portions are from the teacher evaluations of the treatment. They are included here to give you insight on what works and what can be improved.
THE ROAD TO BEIJING - A RUNNER’S STORY
You have built a first-rate structure, bolstered by a strong umbrella with great forward momentum. Very exciting at the end. Good audio continuity track. Good visual continuity. They compliment each other well and work together to create a seamless whole.
Some topics could use some more beefing up. The audio continuity has a good mix of speakers (some very good gets) but a few of the speakers come in too late or pop in for a section or two never to be heard from again. This is choppy production. Work to introduce your speakers as early in the Middle as you can. It works well if you can begin with a topic that allows all of your speakers to be introduced. Then, find opportunities to keep their presence alive in the documentary.
EXCERPT #1
This documentary has a strong umbrella of the profile running a pre-Olympics qualifying marathon. The race is charted from beginning to end, throughout the documentary’s structure. This excerpt has a rich mix of voices. The video adds to the story by giving us even more information. It’s fascinating to hear about the inner turmoil of a marathon runner as he struggles to get to the finish line. Areas to improve include: Natural Sound Full details are missing; some errors in giving instructions; more statements are needed from the profile.
|Natural Sound Full | |(Justin Patananan breathing heavily, crowds cheering him on.)|
|Justin Patananan looks at his watch as he is crossing the | | |
|23-mile marker. It is visible on his face that he is | | |
|struggling. | | |
| | |I was able to maintain my pace up until the 23rd mile. (It’s|
|Voice Over Justin Patananan | |okay to stop his statement here for now, but you should come |
|Natural Sound Under | |back to your profile for more details on what he |
| | |experienced.) |
| | | |
|Voice Over Eric Barron | |When he hit the turn into mile 23, his demeanor visibly |
|Natural Sound Under (If the scene doesn’t change, don’t | |changed. You could tell he was starting to struggle. |
|repeat the instruction, i.e., Natural Sound Under.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over William “Bill” Rodgers | |At some point in the marathon, the distance is greater than |
|Natural Sound Under | |the human ability to transcend it. |
| | | |
| | |(What do we hear? Gritting teeth? We need specific sound |
|Natural Sound Full | |details.) |
|Justin Patananan grits his teeth together as he comes out of | | |
|the bend. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Deena Kastor | |But, you triumph over the adversity. That’s what the |
|Natural Sound Under | |marathon is all about, and therefore, you know there isn’t |
| | |anything that you can’t triumph over after that. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Crowds cheering him on.) |
|Justin Patananan begins to pump his arms a little faster to | |Awesome job!! Go!! |
|try to get more momentum in anticipation for the small uphill| | |
|coming up. The crowd cheers him on. (Describe what the | | |
|crowd is doing on the left and let us hear the sound on the | | |
|right.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Meb Keflezighi | | |
| | | |
| | |You can train all you want, but nothing quite prepares your |
| | |body for something like this. |
| | | |
EXCERPT #2
This next section is a very good blend of elements: Multiple speakers with good flow between statements, Natural Sound Full segments, good reporting, strong visuals and well-observed details. The Middle ends with the last chapter of the umbrella. Areas to improve include: Providing missing details of Natural Sound Full segments, both audio and video; clarifying what it takes for a runner to advance to the next round – the audience should be brought inside the story, and given the necessary information to be able to follow along with the exciting action, charting Patananan’s progress as he gets closer to his goal. Will he make it? That’s a great element to work with and it should be fully utilized. Also missing are statements from the profile, particularly at the end of the Middle. The Middle needs a better ending.
|Natural Sound Full | |(What do we hear? Add specific details.) |
|Justin Patananan running towards the finish line. | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Deena Kastor | |When he crosses that finish line, no matter how fast or slow,|
|(Bringing her On Camera here interrupts the flow of the video| |it will change his life forever. |
|continuity. Play visuals for more than one statement.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Meb Keflezighi | |After he finishes Chicago, he’ll need to take some time to |
|Natural Sound Under | |rest. His body has taken a 26.2 mile beating, and it takes |
|(What do we see? Describe video details.) | |about two weeks to fully recover from it. |
| | | |
|Voice Over Eric Barron | |Then he will probably have to shave off a good 15 minutes off|
|Natural Sound Under | |of his overall time by next November, to be in contention for|
|(Don’t repeat the instruction.) | |the Olympics. |
| | | |
|On Camera Deena Kastor | |He has to be the one of the top three American men going |
| | |after an Olympic dream (in) New York. (This statement |
| | |doesn’t seem to make sense.) |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Spectators cheering for finishers.) |
|The finish line of the marathon. Runners in front of Justin | |(Include specific sound details of coaches picking up their |
|Patananan (Don’t use first name, use last. Fix throughout) | |collapsed runners. It could make for an emotionally charged|
|passing through. A few of them collapse on the floor, and | |Natural Sound Full segment. Develop elements that have drama|
|their trainers/coaches pick them up. | |or emotion and give them room to play out.) |
| | |If he doesn’t qualify there, Beijing is out of the question. |
| | |It doesn’t mean the dream is over though, he can try again |
|Voice Over Martin Prince | |for the next Olympics. |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | | |
|(What are we seeing? Add visual details.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Tiffanie Marley | |Runners are runners forever. He doesn’t have to be any |
|Natural Sound Under | |specific age. If he’s in tip-top shape when he’s 40 or 50, |
| | |and qualifying, no one’s going to stop him from going. |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Barron cheering at Patananan) |
|Eric Barron standing at the line waiting for Justin to | |You’re done Patananan, come on!! |
|officially cross. | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(What do we hear? Add audio details.) |
|Justin Patananan (Use last names.) crosses the finish line, | | |
|breathless. His legs are heavy and he’s about to collapse. | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Justin Patananan | |People talk about the runner’s high. This was definitely a |
|Natural Sound Under | |high. Especially the last quarter mile of the race… the |
| | |thrill of knowing that you were finishing, accomplishing a |
| | |goal you have so long planned for. (Don’t use three dots.) |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |We’ll see you in New York next year! 2:20:18! |
|Eric Barron on camera as he holds Justin up after the finish | | |
|line. He helps Justin Patananan put his long-sleeved shirt | | |
|on, and Justin puts his running pants on to keep warm. He is | |(What is the sound when the coach is helping Patananan to get|
|barely able to walk. | |dressed?) |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Joe Diorio | |Less than 200 American men can do something this big. It is |
|Natural Sound Under | |an amazing thing. |
| | | |
|Voice Over Tiffanie Marley | |He finished 37th overall and was the 23rd American. (What |
| | |does this mean? What was the cut-off?) |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Shouting) (No instructions on the right.) |
|Alexander Patananan running downstairs to tell his mom the | |Mom! Mom! He did it! He did it! |
|good news. He is jumping up and down in front of the | | |
|television and shouting. | | |
|(Good touch to show the family’s reaction. Adds to the | | |
|excitement and pacing.) | | |
| | | |
|Edyta and Alexander Patananan hugging each other in happiness| | |
|and excitement. | |(What do we hear?) |
| | | |
| | | |
|Edyta Patananan on camera as she embraces Alexander. | |Oh I’m so proud! |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(What do we hear?) |
|Justin Patananan standing with his back to the camera, in awe| | |
|of the finish line of the La Salle Bank Chicago Marathon. | | |
|(How do we know that he is in awe if his back is to the | | |
|camera? Don’t refer to the camera.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over John Johnston | | |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | |Now he’s one step closer to his goal. |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Justin shouting.) |
|Justin Patananan on camera. Rotate around to see his face. | |Beijing, here I come! |
|He raises both arms in the air and shouts. | | |
|(Don’t use camera jargon.) | | |
(This is the end of the Middle. We
should hear more from the profile. The
race ends, but documentary
proper needs a stronger conclusion.
How is Patananan feeling?
What is the final topic here?)
LIFTING THE VEIL:
INSIGHT INTO THE AMERICAN MUSLIM NATION
This is a superb piece of work for a beginning student showing a firm grasp of the subject and making these American Muslims come alive as real human beings. You also do a very good job of showing the impact of 9-11 on the Muslim community and its aftermath as well as the problems in the future.
Occasionally you fail to tell us what we are hearing during Natural Sound Full. You must always explain what we are hearing when you go to Natural Sound Full. You also use some general video that is ineffective.
You also miss golden opportunities for Natural Sound Full where you could give the viewer more of a chance to eavesdrop on their lives and learn more about them without being told everything. This adds flavor and context to what we are hearing. It is not enough just to tell the viewers. We have to show them and let them learn for themselves to make the documentary more effective.
EXCERPT #1
This issue documentary uses several profiled families to tell the story of being Muslim in America. The following is an example of how multiple storylines can be woven together using common themes as continuity. The statements contain a lot of good content. Areas to improve include: Building video continuity, including mini-umbrellas; opening up for Natural Sound Full to keep statements from becoming wall-to-wall; adding missing Natural Sound Full details; providing a better context for visuals used to tell past stories. Set up why we are at a particular location before reflecting back.
|On Camera Aliyah Hussaini | |I was at home on September 11, 2001. My dad was awake, and he woke us up. I|
| | |watched the second plane fly into the tower, and it was very hard to pin |
| | |down a reaction because like a lot of people here, it felt very surreal. |
| | |At that time, my thought was, please don’t let it be a Pakistani, because |
| | |you knew all hell would break loose when people found out |
| | | |
|On Camera Sahar Ali | |I remember that day 9-11 very well. When I saw what had happened, my heart |
| | |sank. I was afraid to leave the house. I did not go out for a while. We |
| | |were watching and waiting to see if anything would happen. |
| | | |
|On Camera Amal Abboud | |I thought that if I stayed home, they would know I was afraid and think |
| | |somehow that I was guilty. So I went normal to work and really showed my |
| | |sympathy. It was really horrible what was going on. It took us back to |
| | |Lebanon when the bombs were going off there in the 1982 war. I said |
| | |whoever did this is insane. Whoever planned for this is insane. He does |
| | |not know anything about no religion or no God. A lot of innocent people |
| | |died. You are a human being first before anything. How can you not feel |
| | |upset when you see all this?! |
| | | |
|Voice Over Jihad Abboud | |When I stepped into work, I saw the president and some employees had put |
|Natural Sound Under | |up a T-V. Everyone said good morning and looked at me different. I felt |
|Jihad Abboud at his job. He is at his desk, walking through the | |uncomfortable. I thought right away that Muslims would be implicated. |
|office, past the president’s door. He is by the water cooler and | |Immediately, I was afraid. I felt bad. As the accusations came in, it |
|interacting with other staff. (Don’t say, “interacting.” Let us | |became more uncomfortable. I had to listen to them saying all Muslims are |
|hear the dialogue. Provide details about what they are saying.) | |terrorists I felt I was being attacked. It was very uncomfortable as I |
| | |heard them say we should just bomb the whole Middle East, and wipe them |
|(You don’t want this to play like a recreation. You need a | |all out. I want to speak freely, but I could not say anything. Can you |
|statement that establishes where we are and what is going on in | |defend people who attacked this country and took three thousand innocent |
|the present. Then it’s okay to reflect back to the past as long | |lives? You cannot, but they have been generalizing since then about all |
|as the reflection doesn’t get so specific that the images fight | |Muslims. |
|with what is being said. Build a mini-umbrella instead of | | |
|randomly jumping around from one set-up to another. Open up for | | |
|Natural Sound Full.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Sahar Ali | |Now, we are constantly misunderstood wherever we go. You have to prove |
|Natural Sound Under | |yourself wherever you go. You don’t feel natural. You are presumed |
|Sahar Ali is driving in her car in the city center of Mission | |guilty before you even open your mouth. |
|Viejo. Several passing motorists give her a second glance and | | |
|stare because she is dressed in a headscarf. | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full (Of what?) | |(What are we hearing?) |
|Voice Over Salam Ali | | |
|Natural Sound Under | |Salam: Life has definitely become more difficult for me personally since |
|Salam Ali watching the planes land at Orange County airport; shots| |9-11. Just one incident as I was leaving Orange County going to Indiana |
|of passengers leaving the building as Salam Ali (Use last names.)| |for work, at the check in counter to get to the gate, they checked my |
|looks on, and armed security staff are visible in the background. | |ticket and driver’s license, and they said hold on a minute and they went |
|(The general video detracts from what he is saying. There seems | |and checked and took a while, and they came back and said okay. What I |
|to be no reason why he is at the airport.) | |discovered is similar name, black list or problem. Luckily the date of |
| | |birth was different. It was an embarrassment because I was on a business |
| | |trip and I was traveling with a manager. It was an embarrassment and it |
| | |was hurtful. |
|Voice Over Salam Ali | |There are two instances where I can say I pretty confidently I was laid |
|Natural Sound Under | |off because I am Muslim. In my last job, there were 21 lay offs and I was|
|Salam Ali on the phone, lining up an interview | |the only project manager to be laid off. I have an excellent resume. I |
|(Open up for some of the phone conversation before going to the VO| |have my M.B.A. and have worked very hard to get the right kind of |
|statement. Use every opportunity to include Natural Sound Full | |experience. When I apply now, and I know I am a perfect fit for the job |
|as part of the storytelling. Avoid long sections of wall-to-wall | |description, and still I do not get a call back, I think, I am not sure, |
|interview statements.) | |that it is because my last name is Ali. |
| | | |
|Voice Over Aliyah Hussaini | |No one really targeted me as such, but I knew situations that kids in my |
|Natural Sound Under | |high school got into fights and stuff. Muslim kids were attacked |
| | |physically. I was always worried that friends of mine who wore Hijab. |
|Aliyah Hussaini in the student cafeteria at UCLA. There are other | |Once they were called names and harassed. Luckily nothing physical. |
|girls who are wearing headscarves, blending in with the crowd at | |After that they all started carrying pepper spray. My dad’s work did get |
|school. | |some calls when people found out they were from a Muslim-owned company. |
|(Establish what we are seeing before going into the past story. | |They would get calls like go back to your country. |
|There is a lot of VO for the visuals described. Add video | | |
|details. Build a mini-umbrella. Open up for dialogue. Young | |My mother had the support of people at work, but she did say people would |
|women wearing headscarves in public could be an interesting | |give her dirty looks at the stoplights but that was the worst of it. |
|segment, but it’s is not brought into focus or developed.) | | |
EXCERPT #2
This section of the documentary has a more active feeling with the inclusion of a protest march. Intercutting the march with anti-Muslim sentiments creates movement and tension. The protest could be expanded and used as an umbrella for the entire Middle. Areas to improve include: Fleshing out Natural Sound Full segments and using more of them (we never really feel like we are in the middle of a protest); integrating the anti-Muslim speakers into the documentary or if using video clips from other programs, setting up the idea clearly. On a stylistic note, the statements given on location (actuality interviews) are not listed properly. They should be On Camera, not Natural Sound Full.
|Natural Sound Full | |(The crowd is chanting strong anti-Israeli and anti-American slogans, with|
|A highly charged atmosphere in a protest march in Downtown LA. The| |the most memorable being “Israel, USA how many children you’ve killed |
|1000+ people are largely Muslims of different backgrounds, | |today?” Another chant went like this: “What are we fighting for? To stop |
|including Aliyah Hussaini, the Naqvis, the Alis and the Abbouds. | |the war”) (This doesn’t need to be general sound as indicated by the |
|They are protesting the war in Lebanon. The crowd is | |parenthesis. Let us hear the chants alongside detailed video. Turn this |
|well-organized. The riot police present near by in numbers had no | |into a more finely rendered Natural Sound Full segment.) |
|need to intervene. | | |
|Voice Over Daniel Pipes | | “I am encouraged that 44% of Americans are in favor of curtailing the |
| | |civil liberties of Muslims who live in our country. Government authorities|
|Daniel Pipes meeting with President Bush. | |should indeed direct special attention toward Muslims living in the United|
| | |States, either by registering their whereabouts, profiling them, |
|Chyron: | |monitoring their mosques, or infiltrating their organizations." (2004 |
|Daniel Pipes, | |syndicated column). (List where the statement comes from on the left. |
|Presidential appointee, United States Institute of Peace | |Don’t use quotes.) |
|(The anti-Muslim speakers are only used in one segment. They | | |
|should be integrated throughout the documentary. Or are these | | |
|video clips from various programs? It is unclear. If they are | | |
|meant to be video clips, clarify this by using chyrons to tell us | | |
|where each clip is from. Create continuity to bring them into | | |
|the documentary. One way to kick them off would be with an | | |
|expert’s statement about fear and mistrust of Muslims after 9-11. | | |
|The clips could be used as a motif in this section or sprinkled | | |
|throughout the program.) | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(What do we hear? Flesh out the |
|Jihad Abboud marching with his family | |Natural Sound Full segments. |
| | |Put us in the middle of the |
| | |protest. This is dynamic stuff – |
| | |let us feel it.) |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|On Camera Salman Naqvi | |Salman: When the war first broke out in Lebanon, we were very upset. |
|Salman Naqvi marching with his family | |We felt it was the last straw. The way the administration supported |
|(When an interview is on location – an actuality interview and not| |just one side without looking at the issue. The media was anti-Islam. On|
|the formal interview – list it as | |the internet, the sites were all taking about the Prophet in a way you |
|On Camera, not as Natural Sound Full. This type of interview is | |can’t really take it. And you hear that the Muslims are evil. That |
|separated from the formal interview because you will then describe| |breaks your heart. You belong to |
|what we are seeing. If there is no such description after the On | |this nation, you build your lives |
|Camera line, we will assume it is taking place in the formal | |over here but the game is completely uneven. |
|interview location.) | | |
| | | |
|Natural Video Sound Full | |Pat Robinson: Islamists are crazed fanatics motivated by demonic power, it|
| | |is satanic and it’s time we recognize what we’re dealing with. The goal of|
|Clip from Pat Robinson’s 700 Club show on television | |Islam, ladies and gentleman, whether you like it or not, is world |
| | |domination. Islam is not a religion of peace (mid-2006 television |
|Chyron: | |broadcast). (List where the clip is from on the left.) |
|Pat Robinson, | | |
|TV Evangelist | | |
|(Clips like this are Video Sound Full.) | | |
| | | |
|(Chyron where the clip is from.) | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |Aliyah Hussaini: The American side is not even trying to understand why |
|On Camera Aliyah Hussaini | |Muslims around the world are so upset. Rhetoric like calling us evil doers|
|Aliyah Hussaini joining in the marchers | |and fanatics just don’t help the situation. Using those words to mask the |
|in the anti-war demonstration. | |situation is hurtful. It will widen the gulf between our two societies. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Franklin Graham (If this is a clip, it’s Video Sound | |We're not attacking Islam but Islam has attacked us. The God of Islam is |
|Full.) | |not the same God. He's not the son of God of the Christian or |
| | |Judeo-Christian faith. It's a different God, and I believe it is a very |
|Chyron: | |evil and wicked religion. |
|Franklin Graham, | |The Quran provides ample evidence that Islam encourages violence in order |
|Evangelistic Association | |to win converts and to reach the ultimate goal of an Islamic world (from |
| | |interview on CNN). (This information goes on left.) |
|(Chyron where the clip is from.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |Salam: What bugs me most is there is a national anthem and pledge of |
|On Camera Salam Ali | |allegiance, and it says justice for all. And I do know for sure that the |
|Salam Ali and his family at the protest march | |American government does not practice this pledge of allegiance and |
| | |justice for all. We only practice justice for some Americans. |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |Jihad: I still feel there are good laws here, there are opportunities, and|
|On Camera Jihad Abboud | |there is good education, but I am not so naïve about other things. This |
|Jihad Abboud at the protest march, observing the crowd | |injustice within the foreign policy, it bothers me. |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |Salam: When people in Iraq they do America bashing, I would feel very |
|On Camera Salam Ali | |defensive. I would tell them you do not understand. Saddam had to go, and |
|Salam Ali and his family at the protest march, standing on the | |we Iraqis could not have done it ourselves. Only a superpower like America|
|side as the march wraps up. | |could do it. Now, when they do America bashing, I feel very frustrated, |
| | |but I keep quiet. Too much has gone wrong. |
|(Overall, there are not enough Natural Sound Full sections | | |
|featuring the protest. The | | |
|On Camera statements are good, but the segment would be stronger | | |
|if the statements were woven around Natural Sound Full. Create a | | |
|progression of the protest from beginning to end. Conclude the | | |
|protest so that the section feels complete.) | | |
RACING HOME
What you have here is excellent. But where’s the profile? It’s a fine documentary on racing pigeons, but we never really get to know Frank Camuso. If your intention was to just do a documentary on racing pigeons, then Camuso should have been one of at least three racing pigeon enthusiasts involved. The documentary doesn’t really know what it’s about.
There is some marvelous material in this treatment – you do a wonderful job of capturing the excitement, the history, the details of raising racing pigeons, the race itself (before, during and after). It shows good research, good reporting and good writing. You also do an excellent job of having your profile, Frank Camuso, narrate the life and times of someone who races pigeons.
Because of this, it’s even more of a shame we never really get to know much your profile’s personal life. The biographical elements of the story are mostly ignored – except for some childhood experiences in raising pigeons, we really don’t know much about him, his wife, his family, his friends, his neighbors, his co-workers. You do such a good job concerning racing pigeons, you almost get away with it. This makes the documentary more about racing pigeons, which is fine, but then you should have featured at least two more racing pigeon owners and integrated them more into your final production.
EXCERPT #1
This documentary uses actuality interviews extremely effectively. These on-location interviews add energy and vitality to the storytelling. The details are well observed and transport us to this place. Good writing and reporting. This is an example of a Prologue told with just one voice, an acceptable technique in J-521. The Middle, however, should include other voices. Areas to improve include: The actuality interviews are not listed properly. They should be On Camera, not Natural Sound Full. Missing Natural Sound Full details need to be filled-in.
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Pigeons flapping wings, eating millet, pigeon noises) |
|The roof of Camuso’s veterinarian practice in Torrance. | | |
| | | |
|A large shed is divided into three sections. The front has a | | |
|large ledge that juts out, contained in pigeon wire. | | |
| | | |
|Sitting on the ledge are about 60 pigeons, milling between the | | |
|shed and the ledge. | | |
| | | |
|The pigeons in the portion of the shed on the right have small | | |
|pink bands on their legs. | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | | |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | |These are the young birds, they are about three months old, they |
| | |will be going on their first long race today. The national |
| | |convention is in LA this year and it has a big race. About 180 |
| | |miles. They’ll drive them about 180 miles north and they’ll fly |
| | |all the way back. |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(These are the females. See isn’t she gorgeous? She’s an art |
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |piece. She’s balanced, I’ll pick her up and she’ll be light, |
|Frank Camuso holding one of the pigeons | |she’s all muscle. I’m looking for confirmation. Confirmation is |
|(Natural Sound Full is audio that is not from an interview.) | |how that bird is formed. I breed the best confirmation to the |
| | |best. Her parents were the best birds I’ve got.) |
| | |(Don’t use parenthesis for On Camera statements.) |
| | | |
| | |Pigeons mate for life. These birds haven’t mated yet, but they |
| | |have chosen their mate. I do little tricks to get them to race |
| | |home faster. I’ll put the males with the females, you know, |
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | |just for ten minutes before a race. And they talk to one another |
|Natural Sound Under | |and then they want come back to see the mate. |
| | | |
|Frank Camuso removes the barrier between the males and the | |(The rustling of feathers, the claws making small clicking noises |
|females. The birds quickly intermix and are pecking at one | |on the wooden floor.) |
|another. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|Close-up of a pigeon pair talking inside their shed. One bird is| | |
|a deep grey with black markings on its neck and a bluish purple | | |
|breast. The smaller female is a creamy beige and grey. (Great | |I feed the birds different things. I have a racing mixture with |
|flow from one visual to another.) | |the vitamins they need for a race. Health is everything. |
| | |When I send them to a race, and they’re out with other birds, when|
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | |they come home I treat them for worms, for respiratory disease, |
|Natural Sound Under | |constantly watching for anything that would infect them. They |
| | |don’t fly when they’re unhealthy. |
|Camuso separates the birds back to their respective sheds, and | | |
|you see him feeding them some grain. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |They have to be healthy all the time. |
| | |(I don’t put them in the same boxes, the males would peck at the |
| | |females. Ten minutes is what they get, it’s my little trick to |
| | |get them home.) |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |(The sound of the last side of the box dropping in the slot. The |
|Camuso is herding the pigeons into small wooden boxes he uses to | |birds are making cooing noises.) |
|transport the birds to race location. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Once the birds are in the box he drops in the fourth side and | | |
|shuts the box. | | |
|A close up through the wire on the top of the box shows The | | |
|pigeons are crowded into the box. They are moving around a | | |
|little but it’s difficult because there are so many in the | | |
|container. (Camera jargon is unnecessary.) | | |
| | | |
|(Bits of action and natural sound like this punctuate and help | | |
|with pacing, although general sound will not carry for too long.)| |(I don’t take the birds myself. I take the birds down to the |
| | |clubhouse and all the guys put their birds on a truck, the birds |
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |go up on a truck, and they’re all released at the same time. A |
|Camuso is carrying the boxes of birds down to his car and loading| |guy makes his living running pigeons upstate and letting them go. |
|them into the back of his SUV. | |It’s all highly regulated so nobody cheats. And then they come in|
| | |and they’re timed. Sometimes ten thousand birds go up on one |
| | |truck.) |
| | | |
| | |(So the birds will go about 180 miles on the truck. Then the |
| | |owners, we leave the clubhouse and go home. Tomorrow morning I’ll|
| | |sit in my chair and watch for them to come back.) |
| | | |
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |(The pigeons beat their wings. Small cooing noises. Their claws |
|Camuso is in his car driving to the clubhouse. | |scratch at the sides of the box. Gravel crunches under Camuso’s |
| | |boots. The car door slams shut.) |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|Camuso exits car, walks around to the back and begins unloading | | |
|the boxes of birds. He carries the boxes two by two from his car| | |
|to a large truck that sits outside the clubhouse. The pigeons | | |
|flap their wings and peck nervously at the wire that tops the | | |
|boxes. | |I usually race a couple dozen birds. Some guys only have three or|
| | |four. |
| | |I don’t sell my birds, I’m not at that level. But I will cull |
| | |them down and give some away if they aren’t my best fliers. The |
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | |others guys are always happy to get my birds, so I’ll give them |
|Natural Sound Under | |some sometimes. I sell others to pet stores. |
| | | |
|The birds are being loaded on the truck. | | |
| | |(So yeah, he’ll drive them up. He’ll feed them and give them some|
| | |water. In the morning they take the gates off the boxes and |
| | |release the pigeons at the same time. They’ll start flying like |
| | |the dickens.) |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |I get nervous when they go on their first race, things can happen.|
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |I have a hawk that catches about one a week. Each bird gone is a |
|Frank Camuso | |lot of time, a lot of money. |
|Camuso watches as the truck with the birds pulls away. | |But most of them make it back. |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | |(Noise of the car motor. Door slams. Sounds of steps on |
|Natural Sound Under | |pavement. Camuso climbing the stairs. The box bangs against the |
|Voice over Frank Camuso | |banister.) |
| | | |
|Camuso walks back to his car. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(So tomorrow the birds will start flying. I’ll come up here |
|Camuso pulls into the veterinary practice parking lot. He climbs| |around 4 o’clock and sit on my lawn chair and I’ll watch for them.|
|out and begins unloading the empty pigeon boxes and carrying them| |) (No parenthesis around statements.) |
|up to the roof where he places them by the pigeon loft. | | |
| | |I sit up there and I wait to see them racing home. |
| | | |
|On Camera Frank Camuso | |(What are we hearing?) |
|Camuso standing in front of the loft. To the right there is an | | |
|empty chair silhouetted by the setting sun. | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Frank Camuso | | |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | | |
|Close up of A hand liftsing the gate to a box. The birds fly out| | |
|and scatter across the sky. | | |
|(Is this Natural Sound Full?) | |(The furious flapping of wings.) (Put general sound in |
| | |parenthesis.) |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|Freeze on the sky full of pigeons. The title comes up. | | |
| | | |
|CHRYON: TITLE | | |
|RACING HOME | | |
| | | |
|Fade to black. | | |
- COMMERCIAL BREAK -
JUMPERS, DRIBBLES, AND CURRY:
INDO-PAK BASKETBALL
This is an enjoyable, well-done student project that shows a good grasp of the techniques of documentary production. Your audio continuity track is steady and interesting, painting a colorful and multi-dimensional portrait of Himanshu Singh. Some nice visual work as well
You do a good job giving us a profile of Singh and reveal many charming and amusing anecdotes that establish his personality nicely, but showing us more of what happens, both on and off court,would make the program more exciting and vivid.
EXCERPT #1
This section has a very polished audio continuity track that introduces speakers at the beginning of the Middle. Good flow and continuity between statements. Good character descriptions. Strong reporting and writing. Note that there are many anecdotes to help us get to know the profile. Areas to improve include: Fill in missing Natural Sound Full details and flesh out Natural Sound Full more. General video sections should be replaced by visuals related to the subjects.
|Natural Sound Full |(Basketball sounds) |
|Himanshu Singh drives to the right baseline, stops suddenly and pulls up | |
|for a 15- foot jump shot. | |
| | |
| | |
|Singh in a huddle during a timeout. (Good to put us in the middle of the | |
|action. We need more of this.) |Come on goddamnit! Let’s play some f*cking defense! Let’s |
| |go! |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| |Teams in New York and D.C. don’t want to lose to teams they |
| |think are inferior and west coast teams basically want to |
| |pound on them to shut them up. |
| | |
|Natural Sound Full | |
|Singh in a low defensive stance, picks up a foul as he reaches in and |(What do we hear? Add specific details.) |
|tries to steal the basketball. | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under |But after the games it’s all good. Everyone has a good time |
| |and I think every player basically would agree that the |
|Players after the game giving each other congratulations, hugs and |overall goal is to celebrate our heritage and to really raise |
|handshakes. |the talent level of the Indian community so that there are |
| |more and more Indian and Pakistani players playing in high |
|Singh sneaks up on his mom from behind and gives her a big bear hug, |school and in college and eventually in the NBA. |
|lifting her up. They laugh and share a moment. | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Vijal Singh |Honestly, at first I didn’t really like Himanshu playing in |
|Natural Sound Full (This is an interview.) |these tournaments. They take a lot of time and are very |
|5’5” thin mid 50’s Indian Female, shoulder length wavy black hair. |expensive. But once I started to get more involved with it, I|
|Conservatively dressed and is always wearing her glasses almost like a |saw some of the good things. Meeting other Indians and |
|necklace, except when she has to read something. Vijal Singh talking |supporting each other are important. |
|while at her food table, just one of the many that are set up, showing off| |
|the food. | |
| | |
|CHYRON: Vijal Singh | |
|Himanshu’s Mom Mother (Only list the profile’s name if you feel it is | |
|otherwise confusing.) | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Shashank Arya | |
|Natural Sound Full | |
|5’8” 31 year old Indian Male, 170 lbs., average frame, shaved head, bushy | |
|eyebrows, dresses well, khakis and a button up shirt. |Culture is definitely a big thing at all these events. The |
|Shashank (Refer to people by their last names or both names if it’s |most obvious way is through food. Moms will break out their |
|confusing.) is standing courtside with basketball action happening in the |special recipes so you get some pretty good food. Different |
|background |types of curry and naan, it’s ridiculous how good the food is.|
| | |
| | |
|CHYRON: Shashank Arya | |
|Himanshu’s Cousin | |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| | |
|Vijal Singh talking to other Indian moms. Some are wearing traditional | |
|Indian saris that are bright oranges, blues, yellows and reds. | |
| | |
| | |
|Natural Sound Full |I don’t know if that’s what they intended |
|A group of Indian girls perform a halftime dance routine. It is a mix of |when Indo-Pak first got started 15 years ago, but nowadays… I |
|traditional Indian Bhangra dancing and hip-hop moves. The music is the |mean, how you going to have a few hundred Indian people and |
|same, with a very Indian sound but heavy bass lines underneath. (It would|not have some culture? It usually breaks through with food |
|be a better transition to see Anjili Singh, the next speaker, in the crowd|but music and dance are big too. (Good video continuity to |
|watching the dancing. Then, for a smoother audio transition, start her |next section.) |
|Voice Over.) | |
| |(Indian Hip-Hop music blaring through the gym speakers) |
|On Camera Anjili Singh | |
|5’7” 24 year old Indian Female, average build, very pretty with round | |
|eyes, long eyelashes and shoulder length naturally black hair. Always | |
|smiling. | |
| | |
|CHYRON: Anjili Singh | |
|Himanshu’s Sister | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Ramen Rajogopal | |
|5’8” 23 year old Indian Male, heavy set, 190 lbs., messy and semi curly | |
|black hair, dresses stylishly messy, ripped designer jeans and a t-shirt |In our house there was always a sense of pride in being Indian|
| |that really rounded out our perspective. Me, Himanshu and |
|CHYRON: Ramen Rajogopal |Anshuman took Hindi class for about 10 years and learned a lot|
|Roommate, Law School Student |of our language through cultural and religious stories, so we |
| |were always very mindful of our upbringing and of our |
| |ancestors. |
| | |
| | |
| |They speak a lot of Hindi at their house and that’s a good |
| |thing and something I’m jealous of. I know a lot of ethnic |
| |families, like mine, where the children somehow lose the |
| |ability to speak their native language and that creates a |
| |language barrier between the kids and the parents and no one |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |wants that. |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| | |
| | |
|Shots of Anshuman, Himanshu, Anjili and Vijal Singh driving around in | |
|their car, laughing and interacting in the car. | |
|(Open up for a bit of the natural sound.) | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |My mom’s pretty good at English but struggles with certain |
| |English words and phrases that me, my brother and my sister |
| |get a kick out of. We give her a hard time about some stuff. |
|On Camera Anshuman Singh |For example instead of “on the way,” she says “in the way” as |
| |in, “Is McDonald’s in the way to your uncle’s house?” And |
| |I’ll respond, “Yes mom, we’re going to have to move the Mickey|
| |D’s so we can get to Uncle’s house.” She always slaps me in |
| |the back of my head when I do that, but we all laugh. |
| | |
| |I remember when we were kids, our parents were fobs and we |
| |spoke Hindi in the house, so sometimes our English was all |
| |screwed up. Anyways, I don’t know if it was that or just that|
| |Himanshu was little and just said stuff wrong, but regardless |
| |he used to say Heinz really weird. Heinz, like the ketchup. |
|Voice Over Anshuman Singh |He used to say it like, “Hey don’t put too much heyyynes on my|
|Natural Sound Under |hot dog.” |
|(There isn’t natural sound in a photo sequence unless someone is looking | |
|through a photo album.) |I was that quintessential mean older brother when we were |
| |younger, so I teased him all the time about it and then my |
|Photos of Himanshu Singh (Proper style for J-521 is to refer to a subject |friends heard that, so they started making fun of him about it|
|by his/her last name. If speakers have the same last name, use both |too. Anyways, long story short, basically to make fun of him |
|names.) when he was a young child, eating a hot dog, holding a basketball,|we started calling him Hanes, like the underwear, because that|
|standing with his brother smiling. |was how he tried to say Heinz. People think it’s some crazy |
| |abbreviation for Himanshu but it’s not. |
| | |
|Voice Over Anjili Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| | |
|Himanshu Singh laughing as Anjili Singh (or his sister) tells him a joke |Himanshu’s got so many different little nicknames. My oldest |
|during a meal. |brother used to call him Hanes so when I was little I just |
|(Let us hear some natural sound.) |started to call him Haney and that’s what I call him to this |
| |day, although I think I’m the only one who calls him that. |
| | |
|On Camera Swetha Agarwal | |
|5’5” Indian Female, age 26, somewhat stockier frame, wavy black hair is up| |
|in a bun, conservatively dressed, think gap |It’s pretty funny actually, because his brother calls him |
| |Hanes, his sister calls him Haney, and then his mom calls him |
|CHYRON: Swetha Agarwal |Hemu with the cutest Indian accent, and that’s just short for |
|Himanshu’s girlfriend |Himanshu. His high school friends call him something else |
| |too. It’s crazy. |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Video Sound Under (Video clips are Video Sound Full or Video Sound|I’m an 80’s baby right? So my school friends would call me |
|Under.) |He-Man. That stuck with me through most of middle school and |
| |high school, but me and my brother ended up going to the same |
|Footage from the cartoon series He-Man. He-Man raises his sword and draws|college, up at Cal, so when he introduced me to everybody, he |
|power in the form of lightning bolts from the heavens. (The cartoon |just called me what he always called me and that was Hanes. |
|doesn’t seem to work with the last part of the statement. Give the |Nowadays, Hanes is pretty much all I go by. Himanshu is too |
|cartoon better continuity. Let us watch and hear some of it so it doesn’t|hard for white people anyways. |
|just blip on and off.) | |
| | |
|On Camera Shashank Arya | |
| | |
| |Growing up, I know for me it was hard sometimes being Indian |
| |because I was different than the white kids that I grew up |
| |with and I know it was the same way for Hanes. There were and|
| |still are a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes. |
| | |
|On Camera Himanshu Singh |I remember the first time I actually realized that I was |
| |different than other kids, because you know, when you’re small|
| |you don’t think about stuff like race. You’re too worried |
| |about cooties and boogers. |
| | |
| |But I remember this one time I was playing tetherball in the |
| |4th grade and I beat this white kid like three or four times |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |in a row. He got all upset and said, “Well at least I’m not a|
|Natural Sound Under |stupid Gandhi!” I knew it was an insult just from the way he |
| |said it but I had no idea what the hell a Gandhi was. |
|Children playing during recess at an elementary school | |
|(General video is little more than pasting in pictures over the audio | |
|track. It’s uninteresting and impersonal and should be avoided. Use | |
|video that includes your subjects.) | |
| |Hemu came home after school and I was making lunch and he |
|Voice Over Vijal Singh |asked me, “Mommy what is a Gandhi? A boy at school was making|
|Natural Sound Full |fun of me and said I was one.” So I said to my son, “You |
|Natural Sound Under |should be glad that boy called you Gandhi because Gandhi was a|
|Vijal Singh cutting vegetables on a cutting board, preparing a meal. (Or |great man, so that is actually a compliment.” I don’t know if|
|is this an actuality interview, in which case it would be On Camera?) |that worked for Hemu. |
| | |
|(This could be developed into a mini-umbrella showing the meal being | |
|prepared and the family eating together, instead of simply playing it as | |
|one isolated shot.) | |
| | |
| | |
EXCERPT #2
This next section uses a mini-umbrella of Singh and his brother playing basketball to enhance video continuity. There is some strong reporting here with the inclusion of the high school coach – a very good element that adds counterpoint and tension. Nice audio statements. Areas to improve include: Establishing a scene before going to a past tense story; making sure that the audio doesn’t fight with the video; introducing the coach earlier in the documentary; bringing speakers On Camera during personal statements.
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |There are still a lot of people out there that are just |
|Natural Sound Under |ignorant and assume that all Indians are vegetarian and pray to|
| |cows. Generally, Indians are perceived as nerds and because of|
|Shots of Himanshu Singh driving the basketball to the rim, making an |that, it’s assumed that we all are not very good at sports. |
|acrobatic play to score. | |
| | |
| |Boy, I’ve got some horror stories from high school basketball. |
|On Camera Himanshu Singh |I’ve always had a great shot, and I’ve had scouts say that my |
|Natural Sound Full |shot is an professional caliber shot, so think about how |
|Himanshu Singh talks while driving his car. Anshuman is in the back seat|painfully obvious the disparity in skill was in high school. |
|(He is talking to us so it’s not Natural Sound Full.) | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| |So I had that, plus I was just dirty quick and took pride in |
|Himanshu Singh parks his car. He is at his local playground, it is later|playing tenacious defense. And it’s not like I was short, I |
|in the evening and the lights are turned on illuminating a fenced off |was 6’3” when I played varsity basketball. I was skinny and |
|basketball court. There is a blue playing surface with grandstands set |weaker than the very top-flight players in all of high school |
|up off to the side. |but I wasn’t asking to be a starter at a dominant D-I program. |
| |It was high school basketball for god’s sake. |
| | |
|Himanshu and Anshuman Singh chat while beginning to shoot light, easy | |
|jump shots. (Good mini-umbrella of Singh and his brother playing |(What are they saying? Write out their dialogue. Use bits of |
|basketball, but it would work even better if it included a topic that set|Natural Sound Full in the mini-umbrella to punctuate voice-over|
|it up in the present tense – letting us know, for example, that they get |statements and to create better pacing.) |
|together to shoot hoops on a regular basis. And then go into the past.) | |
| | |
|(Start the brother’s statement VO and then go OC for a smoother | |
|transition.) | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Anshuman Singh | |
|Natural Sound Full | |
|Anshuman Singh talks while Himanshu Singh is in the background shooting | |
|jumpers. | |
| | |
|Voice Over Anshuman Singh |I remember going to his tryout his freshman year, my sophomore |
|Natural Sound Under |year, and he was absolutely torching his defenders. There was |
| |nothing they could do against that shot and his quickness. |
|Anshuman and Himanshu Singh (or the Singh brothers) begin playing a game | |
|of one-on-one, Anshuman Singh has the ball and backs down his taller |He had been playing basketball against me and my friends for |
|little brother in the low post. |years so he was used to not being the biggest guy on the court |
| |but yeah, he definitely looked rail thin in that practice |
| |uniform. But still, the way the coaching staff treated him was|
| |wrong. |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Coach Ed Murray | |
|6’1” 71 year old White Male, average build, although he does have a pot | |
|belly. A ring of grey wispy hair surrounds his head, the top of his head| |
|is completely bald. Bushy mustache and large black framed glasses. | |
| | |
|CHYRON: Coach Ed Murray |Himanshu Singh, yes, yes, I remember him. Just a beautiful |
|Diamond Bar High School Basketball Coach |shot. Too small to play consistent minutes but that shot was |
|(All your speakers should be introduced early in the documentary.) |just about as nice as I’ve seen. Very fundamental. |
| | |
|He sits in his office which is messily organized. There are loose leafs | |
|of paper everywhere on his desk. The cabinetry is adorned with awards | |
|and trophies from various tournaments and lots of league championships | |
|that he has accumulated in over 30 years of coaching. (Move this up, | |
|next to the description of Coach Murray, before the chyron.) | |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Coach Murray | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| | |
|Coach Murray is conducting practice with his current team. The players | |
|wear dark purple jerseys with gold shorts and a snorting bull on the | |
|front of the worn out jerseys. (Start out with a statement that refers | |
|to what we are seeing and then go back in time. Something like, “I’ve | |
|been coaching high school for thirty years. I’ve seen it all” or “My | |
|coaching technique is” and then seque to Singh in a way that flows.) | |
| | |
| | |
|Natural Sound Full | |
|Coach Murray admonishing one of his players during practice. | |
| | |
| |I remember asking him to play on JV his freshman year just so |
|On Camera Himanshu Singh |he could put on some weight and build some strength. I didn’t |
| |want him riding the pine on varsity when he could develop at a |
|Anshuman Singh is in the background this time, trying very unsuccessfully|lower level. We had an argument or two later on when he played|
|to dunk the basketball. |varsity but nothing out of the ordinary between a player and a |
| |coach |
|CHYRON: Himanshu Singh | |
|(Don’t repeat chyrons.) | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |Williams! Come here! Why in the hell would you take that |
| |shot? Work the damn offense! |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |My JV coach was a guy by the name of Steve Acciani. This guy |
| |was a real jackass. I was abusing the starters every day in |
|Himanshu Singh continues playing his brother one-on-one, this time |practice, especially offensively. Defensively I could hang |
|Himanshu Singh has the ball and tries to shoot over Anshuman Singh (or |because of my quickness I would just stay in front of people |
|his brother). |and play good position defense. But I never played. I would |
| |play garbage minutes, hit a couple threes and call it a day. |
|Voice Over Anshuman Singh |(Confusing to talk about another coach coming out of Murray’s |
|Video Sound Under |statement. We don’t know this other coach. Keep focused on |
| |Murray and people we know. If Acciani is important and you |
|Video of basketball games from the 70’s focusing on the length of the |can’t find him, use him as an unavailable-for-interview speaker|
|shorts or lack there of. |and develop continuity to lead into him.) |
|Video of shorts now at the playground and in the NBA. (Photographs of | |
|Singh and his teammates would be more personal.) |I was always early to practice, would put work in before and |
| |after practice and I never complained about my playing time |
|On Camera Himanshu Singh |except in private. I was raised in a traditional Indian |
|Himanshu demonstrates how Acciani stuffed his jersey in to his shorts. |household so I had just crazy respect for authority figures. |
| | |
| | |
| |When he was in high school, all the players at the time wore |
| |baggy shorts and loosely tucked in their jerseys. So of |
| |course, Hanes being an impressionable high school student |
| |wanted to wear his uni that way too. But then during a rare |
| |game that Hanes got any serious minutes, an official told him |
| |to tuck his jersey in or else he would get T’d up. |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
|Himanshu and Anshuman Singh playing games of one-on-one. |Being the law- abiding citizen that I am, I do as I’m told. |
| |Now here comes my coach. “Singh, get your ass over here!!! |
| |Tuck your damn jersey in!” I showed him my jersey and asked |
| |him if that was enough but he just kept screaming to tuck in my|
| |jersey, so he benches me on the spot and grabs my shorts up and|
| |jams my shirt into the shorts. |
|On Camera Anshuman Singh | |
| | |
| |So here I am sitting on the end of the bench with Steve Erkel |
| |shorts and all my teammates are basically wearing their jerseys|
| |much baggier than mine. Obviously I was pretty embarrassed and|
| |to top it off, after that I never played in a JV game again. |
| | |
| | |
| |So then next year, Hanes does his thing again, lighting people |
|On Camera Coach Murray |up and going crazy. He’s playing as well as any starter on |
| |varsity…. They dog him again and put him on the JV team! Hanes|
| |didn’t want to play for Acciani any more so he quit. He played|
| |tennis and was pretty damn good. |
| | |
| | |
| |I think Singh had come out his junior year after playing tennis|
| |or some such nonsense. But yes, he was very good, and didn’t |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |show any rust from being away. We thought he’d be a very good |
| |practice player. |
|Coach Murray conducting practice, the players are struggling to figure | |
|out how to execute the offense correctly. Murray is using his whistle | |
|liberally, stopping play often and instructing players where they need to|I started earning some minutes my junior year because I was |
|move. |busting my ass in practice everyday. So finally, Coach Murray |
|(Again, the present day game needs to work with the past story. Don’t |decides to pull the trigger and tells me I’m starting the next |
|play it without setting up a context for what we’re looking at. Don’t |game. You have no idea how happy I was. I was calling my |
|try to use visuals of a present day practice like a recreation to cover |aunts and my uncles and all my little cousins were excited |
|what’s being said about a past situation. Bring Singh on camera when the|about it. And of course my brother was going crazy. My |
|story gets so specific that it fights the visuals. Also when the |parents were happy that I was happy but I don’t think they |
|statement gets personal, when he uses “I,” he should come on camera.) |understood the importance of that moment for me, but I mean who|
| |cares right? After years of hard work, I was finally going to |
| |start at shooting guard for my team… And then it all came |
|On Camera Himanshu Singh |crashing down. |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |Now here’s the thing, Coach Murray did have a rule in place at |
| |the time, prohibiting facial hair. Despite me being 15, I’m |
| |freakin’ Indian, so that rule was really pertinent to me. At |
| |first I was pretty diligent about shaving, but then four other |
| |guys on the squad started to grow out small goatees. It just |
| |so happens that on the night of the game I wake up really late |
|Voice Over Himanshu Singh |and don’t have time to shave, but I did shave the day before so|
|Natural Sound Under |I’m so it’s not like I’m bearded by game-time, just hairy. |
| | |
|Footage of this year’s Diamond Bar High School basketball team versus |Then out of nowhere, Coach Murray in a pre-game speech benches |
|West Covina High. |me in front of everyone because he says I’m flagrantly breaking|
|(Why are we seeing this game? Set it up. Be specific. Notice how the |his rules. He’s completely ignoring the other players with |
|audio and video don’t match. The video fights the audio – this is a |facial hair and singling me out? For what? I don’t know. To |
|powerful personal story that is watered down by general footage. Bring |do that to somebody is pretty vicious. To tell a 15-year old |
|him On Camera for the end of the statement. We want to see his face as |kid that he was going to start only to bench him as a |
|he processes what happened.) |motivational tool is vicious. |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Ketul Patel | |
| | |
|CHYRON: Ketul Patel | |
|Teammate, Small Forward | |
|(Don’t repeat chyrons) | |
| |I remember when this went down because I was a freshman at the |
| |time and everyone on the JV team was talking about how Hanes |
| |told off Coach Murray. As the story goes, Hanes got pissed and|
| |told Coach to “F” off, but not quite as nice as that. Coach |
| |went ballistic, obviously, and Hanes just stared him down. |
| |Murray was threatening to kick him off the team and everything,|
| |but the assistant coaches basically separated Coach from Hanes.|
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
|Voice Over Ketul Patel | |
|Natural Sound Under | |
| |At halftime, Hanes’ team is getting mauled by 20 points, so |
|Murray yelling at an official during their game. When a close call is |Murray asks Hanes if he’s ready to drop the attitude and play. |
|made against his team, Murray gets upset, stamps his feet in frustration |Hanes, that crazy guy, didn’t say a word and just gave Murray a|
|and takes his coat off. Later in the game, after a turnover, he rolls up|hard stare. Then Coach Murray loses his mind, saying that he’s |
|his sleeves and takes off his tie while yelling at his player vehemently.|going to kick Hanes off the team and that he needed to find his|
|(VO is of a past game but video is of a present game. If there has been |own ride home because the team bus wasn’t going to take him. |
|an adequate set-up of the present day game, this might work -- but it |The old guy was acting way over the top. The assistant coaches|
|shouldn’t be confusing to the viewers in a way that makes them think they|had to calm him down. |
|are watching the game that the voice-over is describing.) | |
| | |
| | |
|On Camera Coach Murray | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| |Yeah, that was an unfortunate incident. I lost my cool there |
| |and I apologized to him for acting that hot headed. But I |
|Voice Over Anshuman Singh |stand by my call to bench him because he was breaking my rules |
|Natural Sound Under |and you can’t have that on a team. |
| | |
|(No natural sound under photos.) | |
| |That whole situation was ridiculous. He was the hardest |
|Pictures of Himanshu Singh in his Diamond Bar High School basketball |working guy on that team and up to that point he was respectful|
|uniform, from his yearbook and from prom. (List each photo separate. |and quiet. I really don’t know why Coach Murray would want to |
|Make sure the photos match what we are hearing.) |single him out like that. |
THE COLOR OF LOVE: MY INTERRACIAL ROMANCE
This is a very charming and insightful work with a strong audio continuity track that is brimming over with wonderful statements. There’s a buoyant quality to the storytelling, and it lifts up the program, making your presentation something more than simply informative. Each page of the treatment holds delightful and meaningful moments that make reading it something to enjoy and savor.
What’s missing? Natural Sound Full segments. Natural Sound Full segments could transform this into something even more indelible. What better way for your viewers to come to know interracial couples than by observing them in action – if even just in their day-to-day activities. There are several tantalizing glimpses into your subjects’ lives but these segments are covered up by Voice Over. We never linger to see for ourselves what these couples share – and how it transcends any definition of race. For a viewer, the act of self-discovery is extremely meaningful. It’s not simply about being told something, it’s about learning it for oneself by being a fly-on-the wall and finding a truth with one’s own eyes. Your program has the potential of transporting your audience beyond racial stereotypes, but understanding on a deeper level often requires going there. Take us there and you will increase the power of the documentary significantly.
EXCERPT #1
This issue documentary tells the story of interracial couples by using a mix of couples and their parents, rather than one profile. Note the way that multiple speakers are woven together for a dynamic and engaging narrative – the statements are crisp and to the point, each contributing to the building storyline. Areas to improve include: Creating better video continuity that connects to the speakers; using video sequences that last for more than one visual; using correct style for unavailable-for-interview speakers; filling in missing details.
|On Camera Tina and Roger Brown | |TINA BROWN: I've always told Shadé that race does not define |
|Shadé Brown's parents. Tina is white and Roger is black. Tina | |status. It does not define religion. It does not define class. |
|is a middle school teacher and Roger is in the Armed Forces. | |Race does not even define language. (Use last names, or both |
|Shadé is their only child. | |names.) |
| | | |
|(Chryon their first appearance.) | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Tina Brown (Put the sound instruction first. Fix | |In this family, race is something almost non-existent. Race is |
|throughout.) | |some word on a piece of paper. It's something politicians fight |
| | |over. It's something countries across the oceans fight over. |
|Dissolve to A recent photograph of Brown family portrait. | |It's not something this family struggles with. |
|(Avoid using camera jargon.) | | |
|Voice Over Tina Brown | | |
| | | |
| | |ROGER BROWN: I think I'm a little more aware of what race is than|
|On Camera Tina and Roger Brown | |compared to Tina, my wife. Being a black man, it's not something|
| | |I can just put on the back burner. But she is right in that the |
| | |color of our skins has nothing to do with how we treat each other|
| | |in this family or outside these walls. |
| | | |
| | |My parents like to think we live in this perfect little world |
| | |where race doesn't exist. And for the most part, we do. |
| | | |
| | |(Children laughing, playing hand games with each other, parents |
|On Camera Shadé Brown | |talking on benches, creaking swings) |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|Cut to Veteran's Park in El Paso, Texas near Brown family home. | | |
|Hispanic children are playing together. Parents are talking with| | |
|each other on park benches. Lots of activity. School in the | | |
|background. (This is general footage. It may work OK to set up | | |
|the town of El Paso but it should at least lead into a visual | |I grew up in a town that's mostly Hispanic. The neighborhood kids|
|that connects the family to the town.) | |are Mexican. A lot of my friends are Hispanic. Even most of my |
| | |teachers at school were Hispanic. |
|Voice Over Shadé Brown | | |
|Natural Sound Under | |In a lot of ways, even though I'm half black and half white, I'm |
| | |more Mexican than anything else. So, the fact that I ended up in|
| | |an interracial relationship is no surprise to me. Hell, I'm the|
| | |very definition of an interracial relationship. |
|Cut to a teenage photograph of Shadé Brown with friends of | | |
|different races. They have their arms wrapped around each other. | | |
| | |When I think of race, I think of my parents. Even though they |
| | |are immigrants, they are some of the most American people I know.|
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Daniel Liem | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |I used to think my parents were racist. |
| | |Racist against Asians. I think they were always kind of ashamed |
| | |of the Asians that were overly proud of where they came from. |
| | | |
| | |It's not that my parents weren't proud of their own background, |
| | |but they found so many opportunities living in the United States,|
| | |opportunities that they wouldn't have gotten back home. They |
|Voice Over Daniel Liem | |kind of embraced this country as their own. They felt that one |
| | |way they could show their loyalty was by stressing the fact that |
|Dissolve to A photograph of Daniel Liem with parents at college | |they were now Americans. |
|graduation. The Liem family is of Chinese and Indonesian | | |
|descent. | | |
| | |As a result, I grew up always wanting to be white. I used to be |
|Cut to A picture of President Bush in Liem family office. (How | |proud when people thought I was part white. I don't think the |
|do we know this is the family office? Connect the visual to your| |same way anymore, and I don't think my parents are as harsh on |
|subjects. Also, include sound, if any, as Natural Sound Under. | |Asians as they used to be. But I still think that there's a lot |
|Take out camera jargon.) | |of Asians out there that think like that. |
| | | |
|Cut to An American flag hanging outside their house. (Include | |LANNY LIEM: To me, race is about where I came from. We left |
|sound, if any.) | |Indonesia after we finished school and came to this country. We |
| | |had very little when we arrived. It was difficult at first, but |
| | |if you work hard, you will get what you want. |
|On Camera Daniel Liem | | |
| | |FRANZ LIEM: We want our children to be happy. We want them to be|
| | |friends with whomever they want. In the town where we lived, |
| | |everyone had to stick to their own kind. I didn't want that to |
| | |happen to my kids. I wanted my children to embrace their race |
| | |and the American race. |
| | | |
|On Camera Franz and Lanny Liem | |I was born and raised in Los Angeles, in a mostly Hispanic area |
|Daniel Liem's parents. Both are of Chinese and Indonesian | |of town. When it came time for me to date, it wasn't like I had |
|descent. Both are engineers and the family now owns several | |a bunch of different races to choose from. As far I was |
|Laundromats in and around Los Angeles County. | |concerned, race was not this definition of different people. |
| | |Race equaled the Mexican family and friends I had – the only |
|(Chyron them if this is the first time we see them.) | |things I ever knew. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |(Cars driving through the street, people talking in Spanish, |
| | |babies crying) |
| | | |
|On Camera Camille Garcia | | |
|(The continuity is confusing going from the Liems talking about | | |
|their children to Camille Garcia On Camera. Construct a better | | |
|transition. Use an expert, for example, to put what the Liems | | |
|say into context and lead us into Camille.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |All the boys are Mexican where I'm from. I couldn't even choose |
| | |between Puerto Rican or Cuban guys for instance. My family is |
|Natural Sound Full | |all Mexican. It was always expected that I would marry another |
|Cut to A neighborhood in East Los Angeles. High school aged boys| |Latino. Los Angeles is weird like that. People think it's so |
|are walking home from school. Older Hispanic women are walking | |diverse, but it's actually pretty segregated. |
|in and out of the neighborhood grocery store. Parents are | | |
|walking their children home. (Again, better if this general video| | |
|leads us into video featuring the subjects.) | |(Mr. and Mrs. Garcia were unavailable for interview to discuss |
| | |their definition and views of race.) (Be more specific.) |
|Voice Over Camille Garcia | | |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | |I never felt like a minority until I left the confines of my |
| | |largely Hispanic hometown of El Paso. It wasn’t until I went to |
| | |Notre Dame and lived in the Midwest for four years that I think |
| | |the idea of race and the differences of people really set in. |
| | | |
| | |Looking around, seeing that almost all of my classmates and |
| | |teachers were white, it was definitely an eye-opener. It was |
|Natural Sound Under | |then that I learned how different people’s definition of race |
|On Camera (First Names) Garcia | |must be. |
|Unavailable-for-Interview | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Marissa Monroy | |For each person, I think races takes on a different meaning. |
| | |Race to me says something about one’s culture. It’s something |
| | |that will define you for the rest of your life. And it’s |
| | |something you’ll never be able to escape. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Marissa Monroy | | |
| | | |
|Mostly white students in a classroom. White male professor. | | |
|White Jesus on crucifix hanging above doorway. (No visual | |(Mr. and Mrs. Klein were unavailable to talk about race. (Be |
|continuity here. General footage. Feels pasted in, choppy.) | |specific.) |
| | | |
|On Camera Nick Klein | | |
| | |Race is simply a way to distinguish one group from another. You |
| | |can base your definition of race on the color of someone’s skin, |
| | |the language they speak or even the religion they practice. It’s|
| | |one big convoluted mess. That’s what race is. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |MRS. FIRST NAME CHANG: In Asia, there are many different races. |
| | |In America, these different races get thrown together. It makes |
| | |defining race a hard thing to do. |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Under | |MR. FIRST NAME CHANG: Race is something that divides and it is |
|On Camera (First Names) Klein | |something that unites. The people in this world are black, |
|Unavailable-For-Interview | |white, Indian, Irish, Italian and so forth. And yet, we’re all |
| | |part of the ultimate race – the human race. |
| | | |
|On Camera Albert Chang | | |
| | |When people get involved with someone of a different race, take a|
| | |look at their background. It will have a lot to do with who and |
| | |why they pick the partners that they do. For some people, race |
| | |will be in direct conflict to how their parents feel, for |
| | |instance. For others, feelings towards race are an absolute |
| | |reflection of their parents and childhood experiences. It all |
| | |depends. |
|On Camera Mr. and Mrs. Chang | | |
|Both are of Chinese descent. Mrs. Chang is a petite woman with | |It's not like my parents gave me permission to date someone |
|short black hair and very thin glasses. Mr. Chang is also | |that's not Chinese. I don't really think I need their |
|petite, but has longer grey hair. Mr. Chang was a former | |permission. I can date whoever I want. |
|dignitary in China before Communist rule took over. (Use first | | |
|names.) | | |
| | | |
|(Chyron them if this is the first time they appear.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Dr. David Yamane | | |
|(Chyron expert first time he appears. Introduce him early in the| | |
|Middle.) | |I don't really look at is as an act of defiance towards my |
| | |parents. Just because they would never date someone outside of |
| | |their race, doesn't mean I can't date someone outside of my race.|
| | |I didn't grow up in China like they did. I was exposed to |
|On Camera Albert Chang | |different things. Different music, different schools, different |
| | |people. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |MRS. CHANG: I would never be able to date someone that is not |
| | |Chinese. That is how me and my husband were raised. (No reason |
| | |to put her name here, she is the only one speaking.) |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |We grew up on very traditional values. We didn't dare disobey |
|Voice Over Albert Chang | |our parents or go against our parents’ beliefs. Family is the |
|Natural Sound Under | |most important unit in society. It is very sacred. |
| | | |
|Albert Chang is in his room studying. There are music posters | |China has a culture that looks greatly upon sons and fears the |
|hanging from his room of both Asian and American singers/groups. | |birth of a daughter. I was obligated to do as my father wished. |
|There is also a picture of him with his parents and him with his | |And for me, that was no problem. I had no other options. Now |
|girlfriend. (Build video sequences that last for more than one | |that we are here, my children are free to be with whomever they |
|visual.) | |want. We do not judge. We just want what is best for them. |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Mrs. First Name Chang | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Mrs. First Name Chang | | |
| | | |
|Dissolve to Photographs of Mr. and Mrs. Chang (Use first names.) | | |
|getting married. Black and white. Very elegant. Very serious | | |
|expressions in photograph. (It would be better if you described| | |
|each photo.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
EXCERPT #2
This section shows good continuity and storytelling from one speaker to the next. Areas to improve include: Developing Natural Sound Full segments that show us the subjects’ lives; letting us experience things for ourselves, rather than being told everything. We need to see far more video of the subjects together as couples. Develop video sequences that last for more than one visual.
|On Camera Nick Klein | |When I first told my mom I was dating Shadé, she was like, |
| | |"Oh. Well, that's interesting." She was so serious. I wanted|
| | |to laugh because I knew she was kind of uncomfortable with the|
| | |idea at first. Not because she has anything against black |
| | |people, but just because you don't usually see a lot of white |
| | |guys dating black girls. |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |I was somewhat surprised when Nick told me about Shadé. She's|
| | |a great girl. She just wasn't what I expected. |
| | | |
|On Camera Tina Klein | | |
| | |Heh, I was just happy Nick had finally found a girl he was |
| | |happy with. I didn't care if she was black, purple, or red. |
| | | |
| | | |
|On Camera Robert Klein | |Race never came to my mind when I pictured Shadé as she |
| | |started to date. When her first boyfriend turned out to be a |
| | |white guy, Nick, I jokingly high-five’d her. I told her we |
| | |had good taste because we both had a thing for white people. |
| | | |
|Voice Over Roger Brown | | |
|Natural Sound Under | | |
| | | |
|Nick Klein is shaking hands with Shadé’s father, Roger Brown. | | |
|(Don’t use one visual per statement. This is a good opportunity | | |
|to let us eavesdrop. Open up for some Natural Sound Full. Build| | |
|a mini-umbrella around the visit. It’s good stuff for developing| | |
|the theme of the documentary.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |Shadé knows I'm so open to anything. She could have brought a|
| | |girl home, and I'd be fine with it. Her grandmother would |
| | |have flipped shit, and I would have loved every second of it, |
|Voice Over Tina Brown | |but not me. |
| | | |
|Black and white couples hanging out at the mall, eating at a | | |
|restaurant, walking together down the street. | | |
|(We should see Shadé Brown and Nick Klein, not general footage of| | |
|couples we don’t know.) | |(Video clip from TV show, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Clip |
| | |shows a young white American woman showing up at the door for |
| | |the first time with her fiancé, an African-American doctor) |
|Natural Video Sound Full | |(All the description video goes on the left. On the right, |
| | |write-out exactly what we are hearing in the clip.) |
|Archive video from TV Show, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner showing | | |
|interaction between the young couple and their parents. (Chyron | | |
|the name of the film and open up for some sound. Just plopping | | |
|it in to cover a Voice Over is choppy production. The video is | | |
|jumping all over the place. Work on video continuity.) | | |
| | |The fact that Nick is white has absolutely no bearing on me. |
| | |Who am I to judge? I was white when my black boyfriend took |
|Voice Over Tina Brown | |me home to meet his parents. And Lord knows all the trouble |
| | |Roger and I went through when I showed up at the front door |
| | |with him on my arm. (Begs for more.) |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |My sons seem to have a...what do you kids call it...a 'thing' |
| | |for Latina's. My oldest son is also dating a Mexican girl, so|
| | |when Albert starting dating Camille, we just figured he was |
| | |under the influence of his big brother. |
| | | |
|Voice Over Mr. First Name Chang | | |
| | | |
|Photograph of Albert Chang and his older brother with their | | |
|Mexican girlfriends, Camille and Lisa. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | |(Children hitting a Piñata, candy falls from the Piñata when |
| | |hit, Mexican music is playing in the background) |
| | | |
| | |When I first brought Albert home to my parents, everything was|
| | |fine. When I brought Albert home to see the rest of my |
| | |family, they all gave him a really hard time. I still |
|Natural Video Sound Full | |remember the first time my uncle met Albert he told him this |
|Home video of Garcia family birthday party. | |horrendous joke. What do you call a Chinese drive by? |
| | |(pause) Cap-a-chino. I thought I was going to die right |
|Voice Camille Garcia | |there. |
|Natural Video Sound Under | | |
| | | |
|(Connect the video to the audio. Lead us into the past story by | |I remember when I told my Grandma Daniel was Asian, all she |
|establishing what we are seeing, providing a context for it. Are| |cared about was whether he would like Mexican food. If he |
|we seeing Uncle Albert when Camille Garcia talks about him? You | |didn't like it, he wasn't going to be welcome at any of our |
|have to give us video details. Put her | |family dinners, she said. If he loved Mexican food, my family|
|On Camera for the personal ending of the statement.) | |would love him. |
|Voice Over Marissa Monroy | | |
| | | |
|Marissa Monroy is making tacos, rice and other kinds of Mexican | | |
|food with her grandma. Marissa Monroy (Use last names or both | | |
|names.) is rolling out dough, while her grandma is shredding | | |
|cheese. | |My mom served fish the first time I brought Marissa over for |
|(Let’s hear some natural sound between Monroy and her | |dinner. My mom figured fish was a safe meal. She wanted to |
|grandmother. Don’t use video for just one statement.) | |make sure that even though she wasn't Asian, she would still |
|Voice Over Daniel Liem | |feel at home. She didn't want to scare her away with any |
| | |crazy Asian dish. That was a big mistake. Marissa hates |
|Daniel Liem is eating dinner with his parents and his sister. | |seafood. |
|They are eating lobster. | | |
|(Create clear continuity between one family’s meal and the | | |
|other’s. Also, it might work better to combine the two Liem | | |
|dinners into a mini-umbrella of dinner with Monroy and the Liems)| |I tried so hard to force the sushi down my throat. I could |
| | |tell his mom had worked hard at the meal. Daniel even said |
|Voice Over Marissa Monroy | |she had taken out her best china for the dinner. I would have|
|Natural Sound Under | |given anything to suddenly develop a fetish for fish. I |
| | |thought they were going to yell at me and tell me I wasn’t |
|Marissa Monroy is eating dinner at the Liem’s house. She is | |good enough for their son because I didn’t eat fish like every|
|making a little bit of a sour face as she tries to eat a sushi | |other Asian on the face of this Earth does. |
|roll. You can tell she’s uncomfortable, but the Liem’s seem | | |
|oblivious. | | |
| | |But I guess that's not how the world works. We can't always |
| | |meet expectations - whether they're ours or our parents or our|
| | |boyfriend's parents or society in general. It's impossible to|
| | |make everyone happy all the time. |
|On Camera Marissa Monroy | | |
AN IDENTITY CONCEALED:
THE STORY OF A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
You have a strong mix of elements to launch the program and an effective interweaving of sound and visuals with some good Natural Sound Full elements. The title is intriguing, particularly the way you play it as a surprising reveal coming out of a sequence of an attractive, young woman
strutting her stuff.
EXCERPT #1
This section shows how to use Natural Sound Full effectively (the club scene). The more you can observe your profile in action, the better your documentary treatment will be. The video details add richness. Good descriptive writing helps to make the Prologue flow. Note the use of music – perhaps too many songs are included, but music works well because it is naturally tied to what we are seeing. This is another example of a one-voice Prologue – just one of many valid techniques for construction a Prologue. The Middle should have multiple voices. Areas to improve include: Filling in missing Natural Sound Full details; clarifying instructions; using proper style.
|Natural Sound Full | |(Mediano’s heels striking the concrete.) |
|Elizabeth Ezra Mediano walks in downtown Los Angeles to a | |(This kind of general sound does not add much and cannot |
|shopping center to pick up lunch a couple of blocks away from the| |play open for long without some other audio coming in.) |
|Asian Pacific AIDS Intervention Team office on Olympic Boulevard.| | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Elizabeth Ezra Mediano | |I amaze people sometimes by how much attention I get just by|
|Natural Sound Under | |walking around. And I don’t call for it sometimes. |
| | | |
| | |(Fire engine and firefighters talking among themselves. – |
| | |What are they saying? Add details.) |
|Male firefighters standing next to their parked truck near a fire| | |
|hydrant cannot help but notice her as she glides down the | | |
|sidewalk. | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Mediano | |I guess it shows how confident I am. How happy I am with |
| | |myself just by the way I walk into a room. Or how I talk, |
|She is wearing a green and brown silk blouse, a knee-length green| |or how happy I get in certain situations. |
|skirt with a slit down the middle, open toe brown heels without | | |
|straps around her ankles, and a brown Gucci bag on her left | | |
|shoulder. | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Cars passing by, horns honking - Are they honking at her?) |
| | | |
|Voice Over Mediano | |And I notice that guys really, really notice that about me. |
| | |Girls too. And I invite it. It’s an inviting feeling. |
|Her long brown hair with gold highlights blows in the wind and | | |
|radiates in the sunlight. | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |(Rustling of tree leaves in the wind – (Not sure where this |
| | |is coming from – are we seeing leaves? General sound is |
| | |weak sound.) |
|Dissolves to Mediano at the Cantina Club in Costa Mesa with her | | |
|sister and friends. (Move after the sound instruction.) | | |
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | | |
|Song: “Thriller” begins at start of scene. Second verse is | |(Lyrics) (Use the lyrics instruction to separate music from|
|playing. (Don’t need all this information.) | |dialogue – a rare exception for using instructions on the |
| | |right). |
|Mediano at the Cantina Club in Costa Mesa with her sister and | |“You hear the door slam and realize there’s nowhere left to |
|friends. | |run. You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see |
|She is wearing a blue top, black bottom, red underwear, black | |the sun. You close your eyes and hope that this is just |
|heels. She is wearing a stethoscope around her neck. She is | |imagination. But all the while you hear the creature |
|carrying a red purse with “first-aid” material such as condoms. | |creepin up behind. You’re out of time. Cuz this is |
|She is also carrying a red rubber dildo, which she positions | |thriller …” |
|perfectly so the tip of it hangs out of her purse. | |(Don’t put quotes around music lyrics.) |
| | | |
|A man approaches Mediano. Sits in the chair next to her. Flirts | |Guy: #1 (Use a colon after name) |
|with her. | |Hey nurse. Can you check my temperature? |
| | |(Including name is OK because there’s a dialogue.) |
| | | |
|Mediano walks over to the man. Slightly bends down to his level. | |Mediano: |
|Places the stethoscope to his chest. She has a flirtatious | |Sure (pauses for a moment). It’s too hot. |
|expression on her face. Reaches inside her bag and pulls out the| | |
|dildo and rubs it against the guy’s chest. | |(Laughter – Mediano and her friends.) |
| | | |
|Guy flirting with Mediano. | |Guy #1 (Don’t need to use name when only one person is |
| | |speaking.) |
| | |Oh my God. |
| | | |
| | |(Laughter.) |
|Song: “Don’t Cha” | |(Lyrics) |
| | |( “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me. Don’t |
| | |cha wish ya girlfriend was a freak like me. Don’t cha. |
| | |Don’t cha …”) (Don’t put parenthesis around the lyrics or |
| | |quotes.) |
| | | |
| | |Guy #2 |
| | |What the fuck?! (Frantic and loud spitting.) |
|Mediano grabs the a flirtatious guy by the hand and pulls him to | | |
|the dance floor. She spots her sister and dances next to her. | |(Laughter – Mediano and her sister.) |
|Mediano reaches over and rubs the dildo against Andromeda’s male | | |
|friend’s mouth. He doesn’t immediately realize it’s a dildo does| | |
|after a few seconds. He looks disgusted and frantically wipes | | |
|his mouth. | | |
| | | |
|Mediano takes a break from dancing and goes to the restroom with | |Mediano: |
|her sister. There is a long line. She realizes two of her | |Hey girls. I see you. Open up. |
|friends are in the stall together. They open the stall and | |(Restroom stall being shaken and knocked on. Laughter.) |
|Mediano walks in. | | |
| | | |
|Tall Caucasian woman, shoulder length blonde frazzled hair, late | |Woman #1: |
|30s, no make-up, not aging very well. Dressed conservatively in | |What a bitch! She just cut in front of everybody. |
|black jeans and a white top. Sandals. | | |
| | | |
|Very short Asian woman, late 20s, black hair down back. Dressed | |Woman #2: |
|conservatively in a black skirt and red top. Black heels. | |I know. We’ve been standing in line and she just came in. |
| | | |
|Mediano and her friends exit the bathroom stall. | |(Stall opens and slams closed.) |
| | | |
|Mediano stands in front of the mirror and reapplies her make-up. | |(Women talking, toilets flushing, faucet water running.) |
|Tall, blonde, Caucasian woman stares at Mediano. | |Woman #1: |
| | |Yeah, that’s right. Put more make-up on. You need it. |
| | | |
|Mediano smirks | |Mediano: |
| | |I love your Halloween costume. Are you supposed to be |
| | |trash? |
| | | |
|Tall, blonde, Caucasian woman turns toward Mediano. | |Woman #1: |
| | |You wanna start something bitch? Cuz I’ll finish it. I |
| | |don’t appreciate your disrespectful comments. |
| | | |
|Mediano walks toward the restroom exit but stops in front of the | |Mediano: |
|Caucasian woman who taunts her. Stares at her from head to toe. | |Are you from Oklahoma? |
|Smiles as exits. | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Short Asian woman. | |Woman #2: |
|Yells insults as Mediano walks out the door. Turns to friend and| |The men’s room is next door bitch. (pauses) She looks like |
|talks about Mediano. | |a man. |
| | | |
| | | |
|Mediano’s sister is at the back of the line. Remains silent. | |(Toilets being flushed, water running through faucet as |
| | |women wash their hands.) |
| | | |
|Song: “Crazy In Love” | |(Lyrics) |
|End of song | |( “… Got me lookin so crazy right now. Your love’s got me |
| | |lookin so crazy right now. Got me looking so crazy right |
| | |now your touch’s go me looking so crazy right now.”) |
| | | |
| | |(Chitter chatter of crowd.) |
| | | |
|Mediano walks back to the dance floor. Makes eye contact with a | | |
|guy she thinks is hot. | | |
|A hot guy notices Mediano and walks up to her. Grabs her by the | |Guy #3 |
|hand. | |Hey sexy. Dance with me. |
| | | |
|Song: “Are You That Somebody” | |(Lyrics) |
| | |( “Boy, I been watchin you like a hawk in the sky that |
|Hot guy grabs Mediano by the waist and pulls her body extremely | |flies, and you are my prey. Boy I promise you if we keep |
|close to his and they dance. | |bumpin heads, I know that one of these days. We gon hook it |
| | |up while we talk on the phone. But see, I don’t know if |
| | |that’s good. I been holding back this secret from you. I |
| | |probably shouldn’t tell it but. |
| | | |
| | |If I, if I let you know. You can’t tell nobody. I’m |
| | |talking bout nobody. Are you responsible. Boy I gotta |
|(Put more video details over these lyrics or cut the lyrics | |watch my back. I’m not just anybody …”) |
|down.) | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|Voice Over Mediano | |Sometimes I wonder how it would be if things were different.|
|Natural Sound Under | |I wonder how it would be if I had another life, and I was |
| | |just this person who lived a normal life. And then I always|
|Song: “Are You That Somebody” continues to play. | |just come back to my senses. I think, whatever. I could |
| | |die tomorrow and I’m okay because I’ve done everything that |
|Mediano is flattered that the cute guy seems so attracted to her.| |I wanted to do. I have no regrets and wanting a normal life|
|She enjoys the closeness, but she tries to act calm and maintains| |is basically, to me, wanting a life that’s a lie. People |
|a little space between them as they continue to dance. | |who want to live normal are people that, to me, hide their |
| | |problems. And I don’t want that. People might say that I’m |
| | |living a lie, but I don’t agree. |
| | | |
| | | |
|Video Freezes (On what?) Fade up title. | |(What do we hear over the freeze title? Music? You have to|
| | |specify.) |
|“AN IDENTITY CONCEALED: | | |
|THE STORY OF A TRANSGENDER WOMAN.” | | |
| | | |
|Fade to black. | | |
J-521 Guidelines
1. REVIEWS
Q: Should I include a synopsis of the documentary?
A: Do not include a synopsis. Pick one specific technique and explain why it is or is not effective.
Q: Do I double space or single space?
A: Double space and indent paragraphs.
Q: Can you give me any tips writing the reviews?
A: Relate all content to technique. No long rambling sentences. No words that offend the ear. Remember, write as though your reader doesn’t have time to read more than your basic elementary points. Be clear. Be lucid. Skip the hyperbole. And worship at the shrine of the simple declarative sentence.
Q: For the extra documentaries we are required to screen, can we write about broadcast documentaries we are viewing in other classes? Also, I just watched a broadcast documentary on Discovery. I saw several techniques I could write about.
A: You can write about any of the documentaries you described -- in other classes, on Discovery Channel, in the movie theater. Those are due at the end of the year as part of the 15 documentaries you will turn in.
2. BROADCAST DOCUMENTARY IDEA SUMMARY
Q: Any tips for picking a good documentary idea for this class?
A: Life is easier for you if you make it a profile of someone you know -- you will need complete access to the person involved. It can be a family member or a friend or a member of the USC faculty or anyone with whom you want to spend many hours.
Q: How should I write-up my idea?
A: When you write up the idea, make sure you write a professional pitch -- do not refer to yourself in any way (i.e. "I," "me," "my," "mine."). Just write it up as
if you were pitching the idea to a TV station or a magazine. Just the facts.
3. LIST OF OBJECTIVES
Q: We were told to use the same format given to us in the syllabus starting with, "To
give viewers a sense" then followed with a list separated by commas. Is this the
EXACT way you would like ours to be written? Beginning with: "To give viewers a sense?" That sentence doesn't sound complete.
A: List your "working title" and then the "To give viewers...." paragraphs. To give viewers a sense of.... and then complete the sentence with information about your subject. (i.e., To give viewers a sense of what it is like to be a professor of journalism at the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Southern California; to show what it is like to be Joe Saltzman....and so on.)
You can't go wrong if you follow the syllabus.
4. LISTS
Q: How should the top of the page look and what needs to be placed at the bottom
(more, continued, etc.)? Also, do I number my pages from the very first page to the last one, or do I start the page numbers over with each list?
A: Put your name and page number in the left hand corner. Nothing on the bottom. You can single space this assignment. But leave some spaces between each name or location or topic. Do not split sentences from one page to another.
Number each page of each list. When you finish one list (i.e. People List), that part of the assignment is done. Print it out and staple it together. Then start your next list (i.e. Locations and Actualities). Number that list separately.
Leave five spaces between each location. Do not start a location low on the page. Start a new location on the next page if there is not enough room on the page you are working on.
Q: Can you give me some tips for writing my lists?
A: Make sure that you include this the following:
PEOPLE -- a varied array of speakers.
ACTUALITIES -- the visuals. What will we hear and see in addition to your interviews? What will you be showing us? What actuality sequences are available? What is your umbrella tying the whole documentary together?
LOCATIONS -- Make sure you know exactly where you are going and what the most important locations are.
TOPIC-QUESTIONS -- Make sure your topics and questions cover your subject matter in-depth.
Q: The profiles are identical twins. The twins basically do everything together: same friends, same classes, and same job. So if I create separate profiles for each, mostly all the information will be repetitive. Also, when I do two separate profiles, would the rest of the categories, (location, video/audio, and topic/question/statement) be separated for both profiles?
A: Forget the number of profiles. You are doing lists for EVERYONE in your
documentary. The People List lists everyone involved in the documentary,
whether they fit profile #1 or profile #2. If the twins have the same friends,
relatives, parents, those names appear ONLY ONCE on the People List. If one
twin has a separate friend, that name appears on the People List.
When it comes to Topics-Questions-Statements -- ALL TOPICS QUESTIONS
AND STATEMENTS relate to everyone, not to your profiles. You are asking
the same questions of everyone. Each topic should reflect both profiles – for
example:
Twin #1 Childhood
Twin #2 Childhood
Parents
Siblings
Twin #1 Grammar School
Twin #2 Grammar School
Twin #1 Junior High School
Twin #2 Junior High School
(IF THE SCHOOLS ARE THE SAME YOU CAN KEEP IT TO ONE TOPIC:
Twins' Grammar School, Twins' High School, etc.
Twin #1 First Job
Twin #2 First Job
Twin #1 Work
Twin #1 Work
Twins' College (if same college), etc.
PEOPLE LIST
Q: Is there any order in which I should list people?
A: The first person listed should be your profile subject. Describe your profile and specify that he/she is the subject of the documentary. For the other people in your list, describe their relationship to profile. Group people together for organization and clarity.
Q: How do I list people, when there is more than one? Sibling One, Sibling Two? I don’t yet know the names of my profile’s siblings.
A: Use numerals. Sibling #1 or John Smith’s Sibling #1 instead of writing out
John Smith’s Sibling Number One. If you were, for example, listing two firemen, the other fireman should be Fireman #2. Another would be Fireman #3.
Q: For my People List: how detailed do I have to be? I have people listed from my profile's childhood until now, and so far, I have put 9 pages together. Still have more to go. Is it OK to be extremely detailed?
A: The People List can be as long as you want to make it. It should include all the possibilities. Don't worry about giving us too much to read. Just be as complete as possible. Emphasize those people in your profile's life who can shed light on who and what this person is all about.
LOCATIONS AND ACTUALITY LIST
Q: How should I list a location?
A: Put the name of the place and where it’s located. Instead of John Smith’s Los Angeles apartment, list it as John Smith’s apartment, Los Angeles. List by location, not by character.
List all different locations separately and only include actualities that happen at this location.
Follow the format below:
LIST THE LOCATION
LIST ALL FORMAL INTERVIEWS (IF ANY) FIRST
LIST ANY ACTUALITY INTERVIEWS (IF ANY) SECOND
YOU MUST LIST ALL ACTUALITIES (COMPLETE COVERAGE OF) THIRD
THEN LIST ANY VISUALS AND/OR AUDIO FOURTH
Q: If we have several subjects going to the same location, should we list the location separately for each person?
A: List each location only once no matter how many people are at that location. If you have several people at a location, then only mention that location once. DO NOT MENTION A LOCATION MORE THAN ONCE.
Q: How many locations should I have per person?
A: There will probably be many locations for your profile. Each of the other people on the list must be at least one location.
Q: For the LOCATION/ACTUALITY list, is it necessary to have a separate actuality for my profile’s mother, father, brother, etc? Or can I just include them in my location/actuality for my profile? So, for example:
Location: Jane Doe's home that she shares with parents and brother. Complete Coverage of Jane Doe in her home doing the dishes, talking to her mother, fighting with her brother, asking her father to extend her curfew... etc.
Is that sufficient for all the family members or do I have to separate the actualities for each individual person?
A: You would list each person in the family separately:
Location: Jane Doe home in downtown Los Angeles that she shares with parents and brother.
Complete Coverage of Jane Doe at home including (list the specific details you have)
Complete Coverage of Ann Doe, Jane's mom, at home including (list specifics)
Complete Coverage of Arthur Doe, Jane's dad, at home including (list specifics)
And so on with each member of the family. By giving your subjects separate consideration, you will begin to see what each might add specifically to the mix.
Q: How do I identify good locations for my profile?
A: Think about the story you are telling. What locations will help us understand your profile? Where do you need to go to experience your profile’s world, explore his/her character? Go as deeply into your profile’s life as you can.
Q: How many locations should I have for people other than my profile?
A: You need at least one. It depends on the person’s relationship to the profile. A parent, a best friend, a spouse may have more locations than a co-worker or an elementary school teacher. Generally you want to avoid having too many locations for minor characters, especially if they feel redundant or tangential. The location should make sense for the specific person.
Q: Can I put more than one location on a page to cut down on the amount of paper I use?
A: Yes, you can put more than one location on a page -- just don't split locations if possible (some locations may take several pages). Put about five spaces between each location.
VISUALS LIST
Q: Would scenics like a sunset or autumn foliage be considered visuals?
A: Anything that you would shoot for the documentary goes on the Location and Actuality List. This includes scenics. A word of caution about using the kind of scenics you describe: Sticking in a sunset, or any other general footage, is something to be avoided. You don’t want to go to a sunset because your profile happens to mention something about a sunset, or to autumn foliage just because he says he likes that time of year. This is the kind of show-and-tell video that will make your presentation choppy and bland. Your video needs to connect directly to the story you are telling. If your subject is walking along the beach and there is a sunset, then use that sunset as a natural part of a visual sequence that features your profile. Don’t use disassociated images that pop in and contribute nothing to the content and visual continuity of your documentary.
As for the Visuals List, it’s for outside materials – not actualities, which are everything you would shoot – photographs, film clips, home videos, historic footage, news stories, etc.
Q: Does every documentary in J-521 have a Visuals List?
A: All profile documentaries will have a Visual List because you must include photographs of the profile. Remember to list this as, Complete photographic coverage of (your subject’s name) from before birth to the present.
Q: Do I need to put complete photographic coverage of everyone in the documentary?
A: You must have photographic coverage of your profile. It’s a good idea to include it for the main speakers (close family members, friends, significant others), especially if you are telling their stories as part of your profile’s story, or in cases where pictures of speakers would enhance and flesh out the story of your profile. Any time you want to include a photographic sequence of someone you would say, Complete photographic coverage of (name) from birth to present to be as complete as possible.
Q: How should I list the visuals in terms of order?
A: Group visuals so that photos are together, home videos are together, stock video is together, etc.
AUDIO LIST
Q: Any music that happens to be playing at locations on the actualities list is included in that list and does not need to appear on the audio list, correct
A: The only audio that goes on the audio list is historical audio, radio broadcasts, recorded music or sounds. Any sound at a location is part of the actuality. An actuality includes both the audio and the video of whatever happens in front of the camera.
TOPIC-QUESTION-STATEMENT LIST
Q: So, let me get this straight: I don’t list the topics by person, right?
A: Right. You are creating a topic-statement-question list that you will ask all of your speakers. DO NOT MAKE SEPARATE TOPICS FOR VARIOUS SPEAKERS.
Q: Many of the questions are directed specifically to my profile. How do I ask other people these same questions?
A: You can easily re-phrase the questions in a way that will make sense for the people you interview. For your profile you would ask, “What was is like growing up in a large family?” For the profile’s mother, you would ask, “What was it like for Johnny growing up in a large family?” “What was it like having six children?” And so on. When you are interviewing, you’ll make the necessary adjustments, but for purposes of this list, keep the point-of-view the same for all of the questions (your profile subject’s pov). Ask the same QUESTIONS of everyone, modifying them as necessary so they fit that person.
Q: What should I keep in mind as I put together the topic-question-statement list?
A: Keep all related topics together. No Yes/No questions. Include all of the topics as outlined in syllabus. Don’t split topics from page to page. Use as many topics as you can think of to explore your profile’s life and everything fascinating about it.
Q: Why so many topics about childhood, grammar school, middle school, high school, and so on? I feel like I’m getting too far away from the real crux of the documentary.
A: The biographical material is important because it will help you to tell a complete story. Completeness is a big part of what you will be graded on in this class – and putting yourself through the process of telling a complete story from A to Z will help move you into the mindset of long-form production, which is multi-faceted, multi-textured.
Q: I’m confused. I don’t understand how one set of questions will work for EVERYONE in the documentary. Some people might not know anything about my profile’s childhood. Other people might only know about one specific aspect of my profile’s life that no one else can speak about. How can one set of questions work for everyone?
A: The reason that you use the same list of questions for everyone in the documentary is so that you will be able to develop an audio continuity track that includes multiple voices on each topic. You want to use the speakers in the documentary throughout and not just in an isolated section.
If some of the people on your list know nothing about your profile’s childhood, you will find that out when you ask the question and then you can move on. But it’s not always so cut and dry. Although some of your speakers may not have known your profile at the time, they might have heard the childhood stories, they may have some perspective of how these childhood experiences affect the person today, they might have opinions to offer, speculations, reactions to things that happened.
Be expansive in your use of speakers, and do not limit the possibilities of what they may contribute. Your job is to think of as many ways as you can to weave your speakers into a coherent whole.
Q: I feel like I don’t have enough topics for my documentary.
A: Your instinct is probably right. You should explore the subject of your documentary with great detail. Help us understand what it’s like to be that person. The first thing to do is to make sure that the topics pertaining directly to your profile aren’t too broad. Broad, undefined topics mean that your documentary will be general and unorganized. Develop as many topics as you can think of that help us to fully understand your profile’s life and times. Specific details on everything your profile has been through. Include topics that chart the process and take us through your profile’s experience step-by-step.
Q: In the biographical sections, the syllabus says we are supposed to add questions applicable to our subject. Can you elaborate on this?
A: You should integrate questions about your subject throughout the various phrases of your profile’s life. So if you’re doing a documentary on a basketball player, you need statements about his experiences with basketball in grammar school, middle school, high school, college, what his parents thought about him playing basketball, and so on. By keeping the main focus of your subject building throughout the documentary, you will give yourself ample opportunities to create the kind of continuity that makes a cohesive and complete program.
Other specific questions you would add to the biographical sections are things that help us understand your profile as an individual – the things that are unique, noteworthy, and defining about his or her life.
FORMAL INTERVIEW & ACTUALITIES
Q: Just want to double check: Does everyone on the People List need a formal
interview?
A: Anyone who is in your program -- major characters, minor characters, walk-ons -- MUST HAVE A FORMAL INTERVIEW at a location. You can have as many or no actuality interviews as you want. ALL LOCATIONS MUST HAVE ACTUALITIES. Those are basically the only rules.
Q: Can a person have more than one formal interview?
A: No. Only ONE formal interview per person.
NOTE: What we call the formal interview is made up of the many interviews you conduct with your profile.
Q: I have Las Vegas (including the strip and hotels etc) as a location for establishing shots. Do I need to have a formal interview attached to this location or is it okay if I just have an actuality interview there?
A: You need one formal interview per person, not per location. So you may have many locations without any formal interviews or actuality interviews. The only requirement is ACTUALITIES for each LOCATION.
Incidentally, Las Vegas cannot be one location. Each hotel, each area in Las Vegas is a separate location.
Q: Does every location need a formal interview?
A: Every location needs ACTUALITIES. Locations need not have formal or actuality interviews.
5. PARAGRAPH SUMMARY
Q: I am confused about how to do the assignment.
A: This is one of the easiest assignments yet. Come up with a title for your program. Then write a three or four-paragraph summary of the FINISHED program as if it would appear in TV Guide or the Los Angeles Times. Write up the summary so people will want to watch it, but no hyperbole.
It will, of course, include the material you used in your idea pitch (although one hopes it will be more sophisticated) and the objectives. But it is for public consumption. It should make us want to see your program -- again no hyperbole, just good writing and good facts.
Q: Are we supposed to go into detail about the profile and what the viewers can expect to see, OR do we just write about the film's objectives, and how it ties in with the profile?
A: The three or four paragraphs should make us want to watch your show. Put the best elements forward whatever they are. The writing style should draw us in. GET US EXCITED about your documentary. But no hype.
6. SHOOTING SUMMARY
SUMMARY OF FORMAL INTERVIEW
Q: Am I supposed to summarize only applicable Topic-Questions for each person on my People List?
A: You forgot a key point: the FORMAL INTERVIEW SUMMARY is every topic and every question and you are expected, at least in this assignment, to ask them of everyone on your people list. So don't ever create separate questions for each person. This violates a key concept of the class -- one list of topic-questions for everyone on your list.
Q: Should I say who the speakers are going to be for each topic?
A: No. Never list individual speakers. The first topic you begin:
The participants in the program will discuss:
And on the following topics you begin with: They will describe (or discuss or talk about)
Remember you are asking the same questions of all of your speakers.
Q: How do we organize the topics in formal interview summary?
A: List related topics together. Or you can put the topics into an order you think works for the documentary.
Q: Can I break-up a topic so that I come back to it at different points of the documentary?
A: No. Once you are done with topic don’t go back to it. Finish it up. You can’t subdivide a topic, i.e., autism #1 and autism #2, but you can create more topics out of the one.
Q: How do I know if my topics are too large?
A: Don’t make the mistake of trying to cover several key areas with one topic. One topic can often be easily divided into seven or eight topics. The main focus of your documentary could have a dozen or more topics. Each topic should revolve around a defined area -- a central idea, a stage in a person’s life, a key relationship or relationships, a specific process or even a part of the process if that’s the main thrust of the documentary. Your questions should address the topic in detail – defining, describing, and eliciting responses filled with content.
Q: How do I know if I’m missing topics?
A: Your goal is to be complete – tell a complete story, so you want to take a good, hard look at your topics in terms of that. Here are a couple of tips:
Whatever the crux or theme of the documentary, explore it in detail. If you’re doing a documentary about a firefighter, for example, you don’t want to have just one topic on being a firefighter. Really think about it from all angles – what made the person want to be a firefighter? How did he train to become a firefighter? Take us through the steps of putting out a fire. What is life like at the station? What is the bond with other firefighters like? How do his family and friends handle him being a firefighter? – AND SO ON. Just let your mind go and you will see how many topics you come up with to tell the story.
Once you have broken this huge firefighter topic into many smaller topics you will be able to develop the material throughout the documentary. You want his life as a firefighter to span the entire documentary.
Also, you should have topics that pertain to your locations and actualities.
Q: Do we need to do a formal interview of someone like an employee at a movie theater (where our profile goes in the documentary)?
A: Go on the assumption that every person included in any part of the documentary should be listed as a formal interview. The chances are that you will not interview everyone in this manner, but FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT make sure that every person who appears in the documentary at any location is also given a formal interview. One formal interview for everyone. Only one. Actuality interviews are up to you.
Q: In the summary, can we say that someone will explain something or talk about something?
A: Just sum up CONTENT -- what the viewer will see and hear. Who offers that information is not really important. Just sum up content in an interesting way.
LOCATION-ACTUALITY LIST
Q: For each Location/Actuality place, are they supposed to be on separate sheets of paper? Or am I supposed to include, right after it, the other lists: formal interview, actuality?
A: First do the FORMAL INTERVIEW SUMMARY -- all your topics and questions in paragraph form.
Then put that assignment aside and start with a new piece of paper.
Start with your most important LOCATION
LOCATION (Details).
LIST ALL FORMAL INTERVIEWS (If any, and remember only one formal interview per person, but one formal interview for all persons).
LIST ALL ACTUALITY INTERVIEWS (If any).
LIST ALL ACTUALITIES (you MUST have actualities at each location)
Then if available at that location:
LIST ANY VISUALS TO PICK UP
LIST ANY AUDIO TO PICK UP
THEN GO ON TO YOUR NEXT LOCATION and continue until all locations are listed with appropriate formal interviews, actuality interviews, actualities, etc. under each location.
All locations will have actualities. Most locations will have formal interviews. You can have as many or as few actuality interviews as you want. And don't forget the MISCELLANOUS LOCATION where you can list all visuals and audio that you didn't pick up at any other logical location.
You can put more than more than one location on a page, but do not split locations from page to page unless one location is too large to fit solely on one page.
Q: Under the Locations section, can Complete Coverage include things like "explaining" a particular hobby?
A: Explaining a particular hobby seems to be more under topics-questions-statements, doesn't it? Complete Coverage includes anything that happens in front of the camera, no audio statements. What you describe would be considered an interview.
Q: Is this listed correctly:
Actuality: Complete Coverage of Profile #1 in her apartment including talking to her mother and sister, watching TV, typing on the computer, talking to her neighbors.
Complete Coverage of Profile #2 in her apartment including talking with her sister, eating, studying on desk, and watching TV. Complete Coverage of mother including talking with her daughters, cooking, cleaning house, meeting with the neighbors, whatever she naturally does in a day’s work.
A: Separate Complete Coverage of various individuals with a space. Add as many specifics for actuality coverage as you can think of:
Complete Coverage of Profile #1 in her apartment including talking to her mother and sister, watching TV, typing on the computer, talking to her neighbors.
Complete Coverage of Profile #2 in her apartment including talking with her sister, eating, studying on desk, and watching TV.
Complete Coverage of mother including talking with her daughters, cooking, cleaning house, meeting with the neighbors, whatever she naturally does in a day’s work.
Q: Do we need to describe who a person is for the actuality interviews, since we already do that for the formal interview? Can we just use their name?
A: Once you've described a person for the formal interview summary, all you have to do is mention them for the actuality interview, although it wouldn't be a bad idea to add a short descriptive phrase just to remind us who the person is. But the main description is reserved for the formal interview.
Q: How do I decide when to use an actuality interview?
A: Ask yourself, what is the purpose of doing an interview at a particular location? Does it add anything to the story? Does it make sense to do an interview about this topic at this location? Will it feel organic – does it belong there? Make sure the location has something to do with the topic (why are you doing the actuality interview on that topic in that particular location)?
Actuality interviews can be great because there is an in the moment, active quality, which can add vitality to a documentary. Often there is action connected to the interview. But again, the interview must make sense at that location, and be practical – could the person be interviewed in whatever circumstances may be going on?
Be sure the interview isn’t redundant to other actuality interviews you include.
NOTE: Remember, actuality interviews are pieces of the formal interview that you are re-doing at a particular location. Actuality interviews should not cover material that is not in the formal interview.
7. GENERAL SUMMARY
Q: I am confused about the general summary.
A: On the General Summary, you must put in your topics in the best guess order in which they will appear in the documentary. So, take a close look at the topics in your formal interview summary and our suggestions for revising the order of those topics and use that order in the General Summary.
Remember: There are no longer interviews, locations, actualities, formal interview summaries or shooting schedules. There is now just the General summary -- a paragraph summary of what we will see and hear in your finished documentary.
Also remember that people are listed as participants and not as individuals in the general summary. The danger in referring to specific people is that you will fall into the trap of only using a few voices per topic.
First you do the PROLOGUE -- in great detail. From the first thing we hear and see to the last thing we see and hear leading into your title and first commercial break. This Prologue is in paragraph form and must be as detailed as possible.
Then you go to the MIDDLE (with its own beginning, middle and end -- it should include everything of importance; it is the documentary proper). You can either continue describing all the audio and video in the documentary or go to an abbreviated format to save time:
UMBRELLA: Describe what we see and hear
AUDIO: FIRST TOPIC (Remember to place each topic in proper order)
VIDEO: Describe what we will see when the TOPIC is being discussed.
AUDIO: SECOND TOPIC
VIDEO: Describe what we will see when that TOPIC is being discussed.
AND SO ON until you finish the Middle of the documentary.
Then go to your second commercial break.
Then do the EPILOGUE -- Describe what we are seeing and hearing in as much detail as you can. The Epilogue should be an emotional afterthought, or an editorial commentary, or informational summary. It should not use material that should be included at the end of the Middle.
Q: I don't mean to belabor the General Summary assignment anymore, especially since you spent a lot of class time discussing it, but I still feel confused with THE MIDDLE portion of the summary.
A: I've tried to make the assignment easier by just having you list the topics rather than all the statements-questions that come under that topic. So when you write:
Joe Saltzman's Childhood. (That topic includes all of the questions-statements-comments under that topic). It's shorthand rather than including the entire paragraph of questions-statements you included in your Formal Interview Summary. Those statements-questions are inherent inside the topic. It's just an easier way of doing it. You could take the entire paragraph and include it if that makes it clearer for you. Just take each topic with all of its questions-statements that you turned in during the formal interview summary assignment and use that.
Then after listing the topic (either the topic alone or the entire paragraph of topic-questions-statements), write a paragraph summing up all of the things we are seeing while the topic is unfolding (the Video).
KEEP THE TOPICS SHORT AND SPECIFIC, and use the VIDEO to describe the visuals we are seeing while participants in the program are discussing the topic.
Q: I know that I want certain speakers to talk about a topic because they have great statements about it – shouldn’t I indicate that?
A: No. For this assignment you use “participants” rather than specific people. It is a major error to define a topic by who is speaking. The whole point of an audio continuity track is to let as many speakers as possible comment on each topic. Do not use speakers who disappear after one or two topics. Do not have one speaker do one topic, and then another do the next topic. Use as many voices as possible on each topic. You cannot allow one or two or even three speakers to carry a topic. The topics should not reflect who is speaking, just what the questions are.
Q: How detailed should I be with the statements?
A: No need for detailed statements. A summary will suffice for this assignment.
Q: Is it OK to jump around the timeline when talking about my profile’s past? Can I start with his college years and work backwards?
A: TELL THE BIOGRAPHY IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER to help the audience clarify who he is.
Q: How do I know if I have enough topics?
A: First, think about your story from beginning to end and then include the topics that cover that story and make it complete.
Then, make sure you have topics that put us into the shoes of your profile. We want to fully experience that person’s world. Take us through the process. Make us care about the story you are telling.
Remember, this is long-form. It isn’t a news magazine piece. Give us substance and meaning, facts and information. We want to see research and reporting. We want to know that you found the juice, the heart. Include the topics that will deliver all that.
Then look at all your topics. Each topic should revolve around a specific core of subject matter. You don’t say, “Tell me about your whole life from when you were born to now.” You take it step-by-step. Apply that logic to all you topics. Break large holding bins of material into smaller, more manageable pieces that allow you get into greater detail.
And don’t forget to include all the topics in the syllabus!
Q: Can you give me some organization tips?
A: Think about the story you are telling and how to best tell it in a compelling and logical manner where each topic flows into the next. You have to organize ALL OF YOUR TOPICS into a coherent whole. You can’t just throw things on the paper, have one speaker talk, go onto another series of audio questions and have another speaker talk about that. This is not organizing the documentary. You have to build a careful audio continuity track with appropriate video continuity. Both should work together to form a coherent whole.
Your Middle (the documentary proper) needs to have a beginning, middle and end – build your story carefully by focusing on how one thing leads to another. Think about transitions. Your audio statements should feel like they belong together. Your video should have meaningful sequences – and each sequence should flow into the next.
Use an umbrella to give your documentary an overall continuity, and build mini-umbrellas to give sections better flow.
Q: I’m finding it difficult to come up with visuals for all my topics. How should I best approach this?
A: A common mistake is to spend all of your time defining the audio without considering the video component. Each audio topic should be illustrated with good video continuity. What will we be seeing? YOU MUST COME UP WITH A VISUAL COUNTERPOINT TO THE AUDIO.
Here’s a start: Think of interesting video and actualities that can spice up your topics. Video of your documentary subject is essential. BE CREATIVE. Avoid using general footage. Integrate your profile into the video as much as possible. Come up with video ideas that feature your profile. Do not throw in all kinds of video that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed.
Work on developing interesting umbrella segments that show us your profile in action. Build mini-umbrellas, where you have video sequences, rather than a series of shots. It is poor production to go to a visual just to cover what someone is saying. Instead build video sequences by using related material that belongs together and has a natural sense of progression.
Q: If my profile is talking about something, I should have visuals that reflect that, right?
A: Yes. The video should compliment the audio. But it also needs to hang together. That’s why video continuity is such an important part of this class and of making documentaries. Don’t cram too many video set-ups into one topic. This will make your program feel choppy. Don’t fall into the trap of show-and-tell cutting – going to whatever someone says, even when it makes no sense with the proceeding video. Create video sequences that last for more than one statement.
Q: Can I just have the visuals represent what people are talking about? For example, for a topic about growing up in the South, I want show video of young children playing at a park. Won’t this get the idea across?
A: It’s a poor way to get the idea across. General footage adds very little to the content of your documentary. It’s impersonal and vague – and although you think the subject matter is matching, it’s a weak connection. If you’re seeing anonymous children playing in a park while hearing personal stories about someone’s experience growing up, there’s a disconnect that’s frustrating for a viewer. Your audio will fight your video. It’s always best to incorporate your profile into the visuals as much as possible.
Q: Should I indicate in the video when I’m planning to bring someone On Camera?
A: Include video ideas without worrying about when someone will appear
On Camera. That is always a possibility. Your job in the General Summary is to come up with interesting video ideas.
Q: How should I play the topics of my profile’s childhood – all together or spread out?
A: Usually in J-521, childhood topics work best when played in large blocks.
Q: Should I start with childhood and then proceed in a chronological order?
A: Don’t start with childhood. The information is pointless because we don’t yet know the person whose life you’re chronicling. Hook us into the profile. Make us care about her so we want to know more about her roots. You want to start with topics that relate to the focus of your documentary and not a chronological listing of topics from childhood to early 20’s. What is the documentary about?
Q: Can I have more than one umbrella?
A: It’s possible but it can get confusing. The concept behind an umbrella is to provide a structure that spans the entire documentary.
Q: How many times should I use my umbrella in the documentary?
A: In a 60-page treatment you probably should return the umbrella six or so times. The idea is to have your umbrella weave throughout the Middle from beginning to end. Break your umbrella into different segments and work them into the Middle at various intervals to establish a rhythm and visual continuity. It’ll go something like: Umbrella, Audio/Video, Audio/Video, Audio/Video, Umbrella, Audio/Video, Audio/Video, Audio/Video, Audio/Video, Umbrella, Audio/Video, etc. You can vary somewhat when you bring in the umbrella so it’s placement makes sense, but you can’t go too long before you bring in an other installment. Make sure every time you go back to the umbrella segments, they are unique, interesting, filled with actuality sound full (Natural Sound Full) rather than voice-over statements.
(For more about umbrellas, see below under Prologue section and final treatment)
8. PROLOGUE
Q: I’m having trouble thinking of a Prologue that is separate element but that still sets up the show. Won’t it end up feeling like there are two openings to the documentary?
A: Think of it this way: In novels you often have a prologue and a chapter one. It’s the same basic idea here. The Prologue isn’t essential to the overall story but it gives you a way to get the ball rolling. Your Prologue must indicate what your entire documentary is all about. It must set the table for the feast that is to come.
Remember, there are three things the Prologue must do: Defines the show, appeal to your viewers and leads us into the title. Be creative. Get excited. Show us the passion.
Q: What mistakes can I avoid in putting together my Prologue?
A: Don’t try to cram too much into the Prologue. The Prologue is no place to throw everything at the viewer. It makes your Prologue too difficult to get through and we’re not ready for that much detail. Don’t fill your Prologue up with information that belongs in the Middle of the documentary (the documentary proper).
You must be consistent, clear and to the point. Avoid vagueness. Avoid too many unexplored elements that the audience doesn’t yet understand. The viewer should know from your Prologue what the documentary is about.
YOUR PROLOGUE SHOULD END NOT STOP. Make sure you have an ending for your Prologue.
SET UP YOU TITLE. The title should flow out of what we’re seeing and hearing.
And remember, your Prologue should be the example for what your entire documentary will look and sound like.
Q: Do I need multiple speakers in the Prologue? I’m thinking of building a Prologue that’s entirely from my profile’s point-of-view.
A: It’s OK in Prologue to have one voice set up the program. Up to you.
Q: How do I bring my title in?
A: Your Prologue must lead into your title. You need an audio and video approach to bringing in your title. You need final statement that sets up the title. It should come from your profile, as he or she is the star of the program. You also need a video approach to your title. How does the title come in? Over what video? You can’t just say, “Fade up title.” You have to explain how the title comes in. Hold the title, then fade to black and come up on your first commercial break.
Q: Should I use a subtitle?
A: Your title must tell us what the documentary is about. It should not be general. It needs to be specific and relate directly to the story you are telling. You can often create this clarity by including a subtitle to sum up your story.
You would format the title/subtitle like this:
Title:
Subtitle
Q: I have a three-page Prologue and I think the treatment (with the amount of information I have) will be at least 50-60 pages. Should I make the Prologue a little longer or maybe narrow the topics a little more in the documentary so it relates more directly to my profile?
A: Hard to say whether three pages is too short. The Prologue should set up your documentary, not the other way around. So don’t cut down the documentary to match the Prologue. A three-page Prologue could be OK as long as it feels complete. Just make sure it sets up the show, appeals to the viewer and leads into the title.
Q: I am finding that narration seems to set up the program well – why not use it to lay everything out.
A: You need a Prologue that will grip the audience, involve the audience, make the audience care. You can’t just sit down and knock out narration copy and call it a day. Where is creativity? Where is a Prologue that shows innovation, thought, careful preparation? Don’t let a narrator drone it about something we don’t care about or know anything about. Let your speakers talk, let us experience their lives through them.
Q: Can I use my umbrella in the Prologue?
A: It’s OK to use an umbrella segment in the Prologue as long as you have an opening umbrella segment for the beginning of the Middle (documentary proper). The Prologue umbrella piece would have to be something that doesn’t provide set-up information that is vital for the umbrella to make sense. Save that for the Middle. But if there’s something that can give you a kind of preamble, a kind of lead-up to the umbrella and the rest of your documentary, something intriguing or interesting or evocative but expendable in terms of overall story, it would be perfectly acceptable.
Q: There is an event that my profile is attending next week and I'm hoping it's interesting enough to use as my umbrella. But the Prologue is due this Tuesday.
A: What you could do is to create the umbrella of the event knowing it will change in your final project, but indicating what probably will happen (by putting the material in parentheses, we will understand this is anticipated and not actual).
Try to find out what the event is so your anticipation can be fairly close to reality – and remember, you can change all the details in your final project.
You might also think of a Prologue in which there is no umbrella. The umbrella would start at the beginning of the Middle.
(For more about Prologues and umbrellas, see final treatment section below.)
9. FINAL TREATMENT
(In alphabetical order)
AUDIO CONTINUITY
Q: When people speak in broken sentences, is it okay to tweak their statement and make it into a fluid sentence, or should I retain the way the person sounds? (My profile especially talks in broken sentences because while she's saying one thing, she'll remember something else and just go off.)
A: Clean up the statements so that they are easier to read. That would include fixing some of the broken sentences.
Q: Some of my speakers aren’t very fluent in English. How much should I clean that up?
A: Clean up the broken English. Try, however, to capture the flavor of their speech and hesitation. But if the broken English is poor, don't forget that that your speakers can use their native language and you would then translate that by chyron or voice-over. There is never a good reason to make a speaker who is fluent in his or her original language look stupid if his/her English is not correct. Use that formula in deciding whether to have your participants speak in English or their native language.
Q: Some of my speakers’ statements may be a little long, and occasionally they veer off subject a bit. But overall, they are good statements. How concerned should I be with bouts of rambling here and there?
A: There is no excuse for inarticulate ramblings masquerading as sound statements in a documentary. CLEAN UP ALL SOUND STATEMENTS and make sure each sound statement says something. Just because your profile rambled doesn’t mean you throw whatever he says on the page and let it go at that. You have to create sound statements out of your interview material that give us information we can understand ON ONE HEARING. Read your material aloud before you turn it in.
Q: Can I combine parts from different interviews I did with my speakers into one statement?
A: You should write articulate sound statements based on all the interviews you conducted. For J-521 you can do what print journalists do – take a line from one statement and another from another statement and put together an articulate audio statement that, were you to produce the documentary, you would then go out and try to capture on video.
Q: Should I include “um” in my statements?
A: Leave out extraneous noises such as “um” from all sound statements. Leave out pauses, repetition, meaningless phrases.
Q: Some of my statements go on for more than a page. But that is how they answered the questions and there is interesting information. Should the statements be cut down?
A: Avoid using long statements in your documentary. Here are some tips for cutting down your statements:
1. Intercut your speakers. That's one of primary reasons you have multiple speakers so you can keep the audio continuity track crisp and moving forward. Don’t cover too many story points in one statement. Don’t have your speakers restate things we have already heard. It makes the narrative feel repetitive if people are recounting the same information over and over. Keep each sound statement focused and on topic. Break up your statements into more manageable parts and play your speakers off of each other.
2. In general you should start at the beginning and move forward in time.
3. Beware of information that is overly detailed or tangential to the story you are telling.
Ask yourself, what do we need to know to understand the story and edit out the rambling. In J-521, we allow you to add or subtract words here or there if they help the statement to flow better, or to be clearer. You should never change the intent of what someone is saying, but it's important to clean up statements when you can.
Q: I have a partial transcript of an interview with an Iraqi vet who committed suicide. It was a print interview that was tape recorded so it would only be audio. Should I just put answers of his that I want to use on the right and put relevant still photos and actualities on the left? And then put a note on the left that says this was from an interview conducted in 1997?
A: Exactly as you said. Sounds like a moving part of the documentary.
Q: Can you give me some tips for working with audio statements?
A: Remember some basic rules: you are writing for the ear and the audience only has one chance to understand what you are trying to tell it. No viewer can reread a statement before understanding it. You must simplify and use video to supplement the words to make everything understandable.
Your audio statements should read well. They should be focused and informative. They should capture the personality of the speaker. They should feel authentic. Include all audio details.
Q: What is the proper format for an actuality interview. Is it Natural Sound Full?
A: You shouldn’t use the term actuality interview in the treatment. You will list it as On Camera and name the speaker. Then describe the location and/or the action that is going on, for example:
On Camera John Smith Statement
Smith is polishing his red corvette.
This isn’t Natural Sound Full. If John Smith is polishing is red corvette while talking to his son, it’s Natural Sound Full. Natural Sound Full is sound that isn’t obtained from an interview but, rather, is a natural part of what you are covering – a conversation between two or more people, a speech, a tour guide, a classroom lecture, chit-chatting at a gathering, greeting someone at a door, making a phone call, plus all the natural sounds that are part of the surrounding or whatever is going on in the location.
Q: How do I make the “actuality interview” seem different from a “formal interview?”
A: It is different because you describe what is going on under the On Camera line – where the person is, what the person is doing. If there is no description, we will assume it is the formal interview.
Q: Can I include my voice as the interviewer asking questions off-camera?
A: Can’t do it in J-521.
Q: When there is an on-camera statement that changes into a voice-over, how do I represent that?
A: Just put Voice Over (followed by the speaker’s name) on the left, opposite the appropriate line of the statement on the right.
Q: Should I split the statement so that part of it is Voice Over and part of it is
On Camera?
A: This is often a very effective technique. It creates a smoother edit to go from on a visual to an On Camera statement using a Voice Over as a bridge . Begin the speaker’s statement Voice Over and at an appropriate part of the statement bring him/her On Camera.
Q: Should I indicate when the voice-over begins, i.e., the person goes voice-over when he says, “I went to the party?”
A: DO NOT WRITE, “The Voice Over begins” and state the words when it starts. Take that part of the statement and put it opposite video instructions. On the left you would have Voice Over and the speaker’s name and on the right what that person is saying voice-over.
Q: How do I decide whether to bring a speaker On Camera?
A: When a statement has “I” in it or refers to personal activities, it is always a good idea to put that statement On Camera or use video that features that individual in a prominent fashion. Otherwise you risk audience confusion. It is essential for the audience to identify each speaker clearly when the person is speaking from the heart or about personal experiences. You cannot rely on voice-over general video if you want the audience to understand what is going on.
Q: Should I continue natural sound when a person is On Camera?
A: When a person is On Camera, you don’t have Natural Sound Full. For purposes of this class, you don’t have to worry about Natural Sound Under during On Camera statements, but it is sometimes used with an On Camera statement to create smooth audio continuity. When editing documentaries, we might continue the natural sound from an outgoing scene, or fade in the sound from an incoming scene, under the interview to smooth out the sound transition. Dramatic sound changes are abrupt and make the program choppy. But in J-521, it is not necessary to put Natural Sound Under your On Camera statements. If you do it, it should make sense with the surrounding audio. Or you can just leave it out.
BOOK QUOTATIONS
Q: Are book excerpts put in parenthesis?
A: Yes. Put parenthesis around a statement you are excerpting from a book. Do this with all statements that come from another source and are not direct sound statements. On the right side you will write out the book excerpt just as you would any other sound statement. Tell us on the left side of the page where the quotations came from. Don’t put quotes around the statement.
Q: I’m having trouble finding experts. Is it OK to rely mainly on book quotations for expert statements?
A: Here is the problem with book quotations: Too often these speakers offer
one or two convoluted, print-based statements and then disappear from the
documentary. It’s very hard to bring these statements to life. You can use them,
but it’s not a good idea to forego interviewing experts whom you can direct,
through questions, so that their statements connect specifically to your story. If
have no choice but to use an expert pulled from a book, make sure that person
appears throughout the documentary and comments on many topics, just like any
other speaker.
Q: Do I need to chyron a speaker when the statement is coming from a book? Or do I
just put the name of the book?
A: You need to chyron the speaker just like any other speaker. CHRYON
EVERYONE WHO SPEAKS IN THE DOCUMENTARY, EVEN IF IT’S NOT
A DIRECT SOUND STATEMENT. Develop video ideas for these speakers as
well. Any quotations you pull from a book are a placeholder for material you
would get yourself when producing the documentary. These statements need to
feel organic and flow in your treatment. They should not feel disconnected and
choppy, like something you plop in without regard to continuity.
CAMERA JARGON
Q: I'm having some problems with the left side of the page. I understand that we haven't shot anything yet, therefore we can't use technical jargon such as "pan/cut to," but I've also have written in my notes that the more clear we are and the more directions we provide on the left side, the better we'll do. My notes also say that we can describe shots if we feel like it's essential to the content. In some parts of my Prologue, I had some ideas about what the camera could do at various times, but in the critiques I received it said not to include these. So I'm having trouble understanding just what we're really describing on the left side of the page, since it's not camera shots and (because I'm including a picture index) not descriptions of people/places. I know this sounds like a basic question that we've gone over a thousand times in class, but I can tell that I'm still not getting it.
A: You should be describing CONTENT. You are simply describing what we are seeing. Describe the CONTENT in as much detail as possible.
For example:
John is running down the street. He stops as a car passes by him and then runs even faster until he reaches the hospital.
He rushes into the hospital, and so on.
You could say: The camera follows John as he runs down the street. It zooms into him as he stops and a car passes by him. The camera then stays with him in a series of fast cuts showing him running even faster as he reaches the hospital.
You see -- the camera jargon isn't necessary. All you really have to do is DESCRIBE THE VISUAL CONTENT OF EACH SECTION IN AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE.
Q: I notice that I am using the word "dissolve" in my treatment. However, in re-reading my notes, I remember you said NOT to use techniques like "dissolve" in our treatment.
I'm using it in this way, example: "Dissolve to Mark Harris on camera"
Or:
"Dissolve to fans cheering"
Should I leave this out and just say "Mark Harris on camera?”
A: It is to your advantage not to use "cut" or "dissolve" or "effect," because (1) you haven't shot anything and this is not an edit script and (2) it's best to leave it to the reader's imagination. The exception is when the dissolve or cut is vital to your creative concept and then you should use it.
In your examples, I would simply say On Camera Mark Harris (NOTE: This is the proper way to list it, not Mark Harris on camera) and skip the jargon (i.e. dissolve, cut, effect). That way you can never be wrong. If you add "Dissolve" we might question the use of the dissolve in that aspect.
Stay with content and leave the jargon to us.
CHYRON
Q: When do I chyron the speakers?
A: The first time they're On Camera in the Middle. Do not chyron the person in later appearances. You do not need to chyron a speaker who appears in the Prologue unless you feel it is necessary for clarity.
Q: What should the chyron look like?
A: First line is the name. Second line should connect him/her to the profile or documentary subject. Third line is optional and would provide more information on the person.
John Smith
Father
Pediatrician
Or
Sue Blake
1st Grade Teacher
If it’s an expert, put his/her title. You can include the location:
Jane Doe
Social Worker, Uptown Family Clinic
New York, New York
Q: Do I chyron the person the first time they’re On Camera, even if it’s a Natural Sound Full section?
A: You should NOT chyron a person’s name unless they are making a statement On Camera. DO NOT CHRYON NAME AND ID OVER NATURAL SOUND FULL.
Q: Can I identify the speaker the first time we hear a voice-over by putting a chyron that says “the voice of” – and the person’s name?
A: Using a “Voice of…” chyron is a poor production technique. Do not do it in your project.
Q: How long can the chyron be?
A: Be careful not to cram too much information into a chyron. You don’t want the words to fill the screen obliterating the picture. You have to edit down the information.
Q: Should I chyron speakers in the Prologue?
A: There is no need to chyron names and identifications in the Prologue but if you do that, you must redo it in the documentary proper (the Middle) in case the Prologue is lopped off. Chyron name and ID the first time the person appears
On Camera for clarity. Remember to introduce your speakers at the beginning of the Middle.
Q: Should I re-chyron the person later in the program?
A: You should only chyron when a person appears On Camera for the first time. Do not re-chyron people you have chyroned earlier.
Q: I am showing two different marathon races – past and present. Is it OK to chyron the name of the races and the year?
A: Yes. A good idea for clarity. For example:
Chyron: La Salle Bank Chicago Marathon, 2006
Chyron: La Salle Bank Chicago Marathon, 1956
Q: Can I use a graphic/chyron to help explain what we are seeing – to set up the scene?
A: It’s an acceptable technique to use a chyron to set up a scene and to help clarify what we are seeing. But be careful you don’t skimp on the audio explanations.
CLARITY
Q: As I’m putting together my audio track, I am concentrating on connections between the statements. Are there other things I need to keep in mind?
A: The statements should connect and flow but you have to make sure the audience knows what the speaker is talking about. Don’t throw in references that the audience cannot understand because there is no background about those references until later. You can’t wait to clarify something until a future statement. The audience must struggle through these references that are not set up properly and ends up trying to piece this information together. So make sure your statements do not contain vague references and information. You have to remember: The audience has only one chance to understand what is going on.
Q: I understand that we are supposed to use a variety of voices, but I worry that it gets confusing for an audience to keep everyone straight. How do I make sure that these speakers become familiar to the audience?
A: Introduce your speakers On Camera early in the Middle (the documentary proper). Establish who they are and why they are in the documentary by using an on-camera statement and chyroning them. The chyron should connect them directly to the documentary. Add a third line of chyron if you think more information will help give a more complete picture or make it clear why this person is included in the documentary.
The audience will become more and more familiar with speakers who appear throughout documentary. Use these same voices on as many topics as possible. And do not introduce any new speaker after a third of the documentary has gone by unless you have a very, very good reason.
Whenever possible, play the speaker’s voice-over statements over actuality footage that has the speaker in it. Don’t show a close-up of one person while we hear another person’s statement, unless the speaker is directly referencing the person in the video. Or unless it makes sense in some other way, for example, in a montage.
Help to form a more intimate connection with your speaker by bringing them
On Camera during personal or emotional statements.
Q: I am doing my documentary on rapper Immortal Technique. My Prologue has an actuality of him performing at a Hurricane Katrina benefit show. My umbrella in the Middle is ANOTHER show that Technique will be performing at. Is there a way I can distinguish that the show in the Prologue is a DIFFERENT show than the one in the umbrella? I don’t want people to wonder why he is heading to a show when in the Prologue he was performing. It's just a different performance on a different night.
A: It shouldn't be a problem. He performs in the Prologue, and then he is on his way to another show at the beginning of the Middle. It should work fine. If it seems confusing to you, add some voice-over or dialogue that explains what is going on.
Q: How much do I have to explain things? I don’t want the treatment to seem overly inundated with information.
A: Clarity is an important part of the assignment. We must know who your speakers are and their connection to your subject matter. We need to understand your subject – and not just in a broad, superficial way. Take us inside your subject and give us a clear and comprehensive look worthy of a long-form documentary. We need details: Details about the story you are telling. Details about what we are seeing and hearing. Details about your Natural Sound Full segments. Details in all of your instructions. We need a clear umbrella motif. We need a clear connection between your video continuity and audio continuity. Anything that is vague, confusing or undeveloped will hurt your documentary.
Q: Can speakers talk about people who aren’t in the documentary?
A: You can’t refer to people we never come to know in the documentary. It’s annoying to the audience to hear someone talk about a person that’s outside the story. You can’t refer to people – even in the instruction side whom the audience doesn’t know about – and not let them speak. The only exception would be someone who was prominent in your profile’s life and is now deceased. Then you must be sure we come to know this person through your speakers’ statements and supporting visuals, such as photographs or home video.
CLIPS/HOME VIDEOS/FILM CLIPS
Q: When I’m using home video, is it "Natural Sound Full" or something else?
A: It’s Video Sound Full or Video Sound Under for any clip (home video, television, movie, historical) that you are using as a stand-alone element. If people are watching the clip as part of the scene, it’s Natural Sound Full.
Q: How do I describe home video?
A: Describe what we are seeing on the left. DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE WHAT WE ARE HEARING ON THE RIGHT. On the left you would say VIDEO SOUND FULL, then describe the visuals we are seeing. On the right you put what the people are saying, or music, if that’s what we’re hearing. Same thing for movie/video clips. If the clip sound is under an audio statement it’s:
Voice Over Person’s Name Statement
Video Sound Under
And then describe what we are
seeing in the clip.
Q: Do I write-out the sound that’s in the clip?
A: Yes. Write what we are hearing from that clip on the right side of the page, even if it is music.
Q: Should I let the home video play open?
A: Playing a clip open will give the audience a break from constant voice-over statements, but it should also reveal something about your profile. Look for ways to use the sound on the clip to create a smooth-flowing bridge into and/or out of your next topic. Don’t crowd the clip with voice-over material. A clip should be something more than a receptacle for sound statements. It should have its own purpose and make a contribution to the overall story.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Q: How should I list the commercial break?
A: The Commercial Break must look like this:
-- Commercial Break --
Q: Can I have more than two commercial breaks?
A: No. YOU MUST HAVE ONLY TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS. The first commercial comes after the Prologue. The second Prologue comes after the end of the Middle (documentary proper), before the Epilogue.
COMPLETENESS
Q: I think what my profile does for a living is far more interesting that her background. So can I primarily focus on that?
A: If you are doing a profile documentary, you must include all of the biographical topics that are outlined in the syllabus. Getting to know your profile is the purpose of the documentary. To do that, you must have your profile, and everyone who knows her, tell us everything they know about her. Create a complete story about your profile. Cover every aspect of her life from childhood to now including her personal as well as professional lives.
IT’S YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOUR PROFILE’S WHOLE LIFE RELEVANT, INTERESTING AND ENGAGING.
Q: What should I make sure to include in the documentary to make it complete?
A: Your documentary must be complete. Completeness means that the audience should never feel that something is missing. Flesh out all the story points, visual ideas and Natural Sound Full segments of your documentary and make the audience understand why each part is important to the story you are telling. Keep in mind the following:
Create a strong audio continuity track that includes a diverse and impressive array of speakers. Bolster it with video continuity that enhances what we learn, understand and feel. Weave in an abundance of Natural Sound Full segments that DOCUMENT THE EXPERIENCE. Include personal material. Do not skimp on any aspect. Bring your story to life.
Give the story context. Make it add up to something – not just bits and pieces. Connect the pieces so it makes a cohesive, comprehensive whole. This is not a news segment, or series of news segments. It is a full-fledged, complete documentary.
Capture the essence of your profile, make it possible for the viewer to become that person during the documentary. Give us a realistic look at the life you are depicting.
Show a passionate affection for your subject – make us care, make us want to know more, make us excited, make a documentary that moves us, as well as informs us.
Q: More than 75% of my documentary is biographical or about my profile’s personal life and the rest is about what he does (he’s a pyrotechnic who makes and designs fireworks). Is this the right balance?
A: Make sure you are fully exploring what is probably the most interesting part of the documentary – pyrotechnics. Explain what an inside person knows about pyrotechnics – how they work, the behind-the-scenes use of specific fireworks and other pyrotechnics. Include all the biographical topics and those about your profile’s life and times, but you should also have many topics that cover your subject (the life of a pyrotechnic). Give us a complete picture in that regard.
Q: My profile isn’t perfect. Should I show his accomplishments as well as his flaws?
A: Your job is to give us a well-balanced, complete story that reflects your research. You should never create a puff-piece about someone. That isn’t a documentary. Be real. By revealing the drama, the highs and the lows, you are creating a truthful portrait. It’s OK to show the warts, to explore anger, frustration, sadness. It’s all part of the human experience. But be complete. Also show us what there is to like about your profile. Have affection for your profile. Help us to care about him. That is the power of the documentary – to bear witness to the complexity of human experience, to make one person’s life meaningful by fleshing it out for the audience who, through the documentary, get a chance to walk in another’s shoes. A documentary works best when you use the human experience to explain complicated problems.
CONTINUITY
Q: It’s hard for me to see the big picture. I find it much easier to build the documentary one segment at a time. Trying to make everything flow together is daunting. How do I keep from being overwhelmed?
A: It’s a bit like learning to drive – just seeing the hood and not all that’s around you. But stop for a moment and think about the overall story you are telling. You need a beginning, middle and end, just like any good story. This beginning, middle and end will make up the documentary proper (the Middle). The Prologue leads the audience into the story and the Epilogue gives it that last bit of punctuation. But in the Middle lies the heart and soul of your documentary.
Don’t try to build the documentary out of a series of isolated segments. It will fall short. A documentary requires a connected, well-thought out progression that adds up to a complete story. Set up each topic and make sure it feels like it belongs there. Continuity is the grease that makes everything flow. Pay close attention to your transitions, how you get in and out of things, and you will make progress in bringing the various parts of your story together.
Break the process down. The easiest way to build your documentary treatment is to work on your audio continuity track first. Build an audio continuity track that takes the audience from one topic to another in a smooth and creative fashion. Then build video continuity. Make sure the video compliments the audio. This is one of the most basic rules of any kind of television production – the video must compliment and work with the audio. Together they must form a seamless unity. You can’t just say, oh this is interesting. I’ll throw it in on page 21. You have to create audio and video continuity that makes sense. Then add your umbrella and Natural Sound Full segments to bring your story to life, while often giving you more opportunities to lead into the next topic efficiently and creatively.
Q: I feel like I’m forcing connections in trying to make my audio continuity track flow from one topic to the next. What should I do to keep it from feeling contrived?
A: This is where Natural Sound Full can save you. Look for moments of Natural Sound Full that play out of or into a statement – a dialogue exchange, an action, an emotionally charged situation. Let your statements lead us to these moments and once we get there, you can break away from the audio continuity track to play out the Natural Sound Full segment. Then find a moment at the end of the segment to lead us back into the audio continuity track and into a new topic or part of the story.
DESCRIPTIONS
Q: Some of the interviewees from my Middle section also appear in my Prologue. Do I need to give a full physical description of these people in the Prologue or wait until they appear On Camera for their first interview?
A: You do not have to describe people in the Prologue. Just do it the first time they come On Camera in the Middle. Make sure your descriptions are complete. Or show a photo of them.
Q: Should I repeat the physical description each time someone appears On Camera?
A: You only include the physical description the FIRST time the person appears
On Camera giving a statement.
Q: If I’m including a picture of the speaker, should I also describe them?
A: If you are including a photo of the person you do not need to describe him/her.
Q: I am beginning my Middle with random definitions of a waitress from people off the street as well as definitions from people from my documentary. Do I have to give a full description of the random people like I do my interviewees? Should I chyron them?
A: You do not have to describe in detail people on the street, but you should say something like: Young Woman, or Young Woman with Glasses, or 50-year-old Man with Moustache. The more description you give us, the easier it is to picture the person speaking, but random people can be described in less detail than your principal speakers. Don’t chyron a man-on-the-street sequence.
Q: I interviewed this group of children but I was not allowed to take pictures of them or use their names. So do I l just describe them?
A: Just describe them on the left the best you can -- i.e., 7-year-old Jewish child with glasses and short hair, etc.
Q: When the person is On Camera for the first time in a Natural Sound Full segment, should I give a little description of the person's physical appearance or should I just wait until he/she is giving an On Camera statement for the first time?
A: You can describe your subject in the first Natural Sound Full segment if you want, especially if he/she is prominent in the segment.
EPILOGUE/ENDING
Q: I’m confused about the Epilogue. Should it be the ending of the documentary?
A: The documentary needs to end with the Middle. DO NOT SIMPLY STOP AT THE END OF THE MIDDLE WITHOUT BUILDING A CONCLUSION. THE MIDDLE MUST END. Remember, the Middle is self-contained – it must have its own beginning, middle and end.
The Epilogue is an emotional afterthought or an informative conclusion. It can even be a commentary on what should be done. The Epilogue is a separate segment.
Q: How do I know if something belongs at the end of the Middle or in the Epilogue?
A: If the material feels like it is an essential part of resolving the documentary – of giving it closure – it belongs in the Middle. The Epilogue is more of a bonus section that gives the audience a satisfying way to say good-bye, or ponder the subject’s situation, or that provides a broader perspective, or supplies information to help viewers who might want to take action about what they’ve just seen.
Q: Can the Epilogue start on the same page as the Middle ends?
A: No. Each segment of the documentary must begin on a separate page.
Q: Is it a good idea to have more statements from my profile in the Epilogue?
A: That’s a perfectly fine technique. You could use one or two statements from your subject that feel like final thoughts. But use statements that were not used in the Middle.
Q: Can I end the Middle with statements from other people talking about my profile – is this a good way to wrap things up?
A: While it’s certainly a good idea to use your other speakers toward the end of the documentary, it’s not a good idea to end the documentary proper (the Middle) with someone else other than the profile. The documentary is about your profile, so he or she should be the person who brings things to a satisfying conclusion.
Q: Can you give me some tips for coming up with a good Epilogue?
A: Make sure you don’t include material in the Epilogue that belongs in the Middle, and make sure the Middle has it’s own ending.
The Epilogue should be simple. It can be emotional or humorous afterthought that resonates with the rest of the program. Or it could be an informative Epilogue that tells the audience where to get more information on your subject. Or it could be a commentary on how to do something – effect a change, make a difference. But, give the audience something new to chew on. Do not cite the obvious or state what every member of your audience should have figured out after watching your documentary.
The Epilogue shouldn’t feel forced. It shouldn’t seem tangential. The Epilogue should reflect the story.
Q: Can I use narration in my Epilogue if I haven’t used it elsewhere?
A: Yes. You can use narration only in the Epilogue and nowhere else in the documentary. However, if you are going to use narration in the documentary, establish it either in the Prologue or at the beginning of the Middle.
EXPERTS
Q: My story is very personal. Do I need experts?
A: Not every documentary made has experts. But incorporating expert testimony is an important skill to master. And, most of the time, the expert perspective will help to solidify your profile’s personal experiences by placing them in a larger context. It will make your documentary more complete.
Q: When I interviewed my expert, he was sometimes tentative. He didn’t want to comment on things he wasn’t directly involved with. Is it OK to have him qualify his remarks rather than just stating them as if he’s certain about the information?
A: You can’t have your expert say things like, “From what I know, because I didn’t work on it back then…” or “I don’t know what it was….” Have the expert look up the information before the interview and only use on accurate statements without any reservations.
Q: Some of my expert’s statements are long. Should I break up his talking head by playing much of it voice-over?
A: Experts should not become disembodied voices that go on and on. Break them up by using them with others on a topic. Don’t let your experts carry too much information. Keep their statements focused. Break up their information and use it in smaller pieces throughout in relevant ways.
Also, it’s wise to give experts time On Camera so the audience can see who they are and evaluate their testimony.
Q: I know we’re supposed to introduce all of our speakers early but does that include our experts? Mine just seem so specific to certain segments.
A: Introduce your experts at the beginning of the Middle, as you do all of your other speakers. Find a topic that sets up your story and allows them to chime in. Don’t isolate your experts into just a few specific topics.
Q: I've contacted two experts in the field and have yet to make an appointment with them. I felt that perhaps it would be better to interview my profile and all of the people around that person before going to the experts. I don't think my experts will want to meet multiple times, so I want to make sure I have everything ready when I sit down with them. Is it a good idea to wait or should I interview them as soon as possible?
A: Interview your profile and all of the people close to the profile. Ask all of the questions-topics on your list and get to know your profile. Then you can move on to your experts.
Q: I've been contacting potential experts about my documentary treatment and have come across a possible problem. Many of the doctors whom I've contacted are interested in knowing more about the documentary before setting up any interviews, which leads me to believe that they might not want to be spend time talking with me if they are not in an actual documentary. Do you recommend I withhold the likelihood that it will not become an actual documentary or should I be completely candid?
A: Just tell them you are doing a documentary for USC Annenberg and you want their expert opinions on the procedures.
INTERVIEWING
Q: One of the interviews I did is with parents of a patient my mom took care of. They wanted to be interviewed together -- so I did. It seems to work better with both of them on- camera rather than pretending like I spoke to them separately. Can I do that?
A: It is perfectly fine to interview two people at once, especially if they are related -- i.e. wife and husband. It just makes for more difficult editing and shooting, but it's done all the time and can be effective. No problem for your treatment.
Q: I’ve already interviewed all of my main speakers. But as I’ve continued to develop the documentary, I’ve come up with more topics. Do I interview them again?
A: It’s not at all unusual to do multiple interviews with the principal speakers of a documentary, and for your profile it’s essential. After figuring out who your principal speakers will be, re-interview them and get appropriate material for all of your topics.
Q: Videotaping is NOT necessary, right? My friend said she's most likely to say more if she's not being videotaped and that's obviously what I want, I don't want to make her parents uncomfortable as well. (I will definitely have at least a tape recorder.)
A: No, you do not have to videotape your interviews. You can use audio tape recorders for key interviews. You can use the notes you take while being with your profile. You can also use e-mail interviews.
Q: Do I use e-mail interview statements like other sound statements?
A: Yes. For this class, treat e-mail statements like any other audio statement.
LOCATIONS
Q: For an on-camera formal interview, should the location of the interview be described? Should we know that the person is sitting on her living room couch?
A: The first time a person appears On Camera in the formal interview you should describe what they look like and what the environment looks like so each time you say On Camera Jane Doe in the future we can picture that scene. Each actuality interview should be described as used.
Q: I want to take my subject back to his native Africa, so he can show places he's lived, etc. Do I need a reason to take him back? Or could he just be back there for the sake of the documentary (which could be assumed by the viewer)? I think it's necessary he’s back there because, if not, all I have are photos for visuals (for the most part anyway).
A: You don't have to explain why he went back to Africa. We see him in Africa talking about places that affected his life, and that is fine. Just describe the content, the scene, and what is going on without worrying why he's back there. He's back there because it is normal for people to go home and relive their early history. Good technique to put him in the historical locations, rather than just have him and others talk about that location with photographs. The same technique can be used with biographical topics where you take your profile back to places of his or her past.
MINI-UMBRELLA
Q: What is a mini-umbrella?
A: A mini-umbrella is a video sequence built around an activity or event that continues for more than one or two shots. There is a progression to a mini-umbrella that moves the action forward, much like the larger show umbrella. But unlike the show umbrella, a mini-umbrella is used to provide visuals for the audio track. It is not a Natural Sound Full segment, although there certainly can be (and should be) pieces of Natural Sound Full that open up between audio statements.
The important thing to remember about a mini-umbrella is that it’s a way to provide VIDEO CONTINUITY. Each visual flows into the next because it’s part of a sequence and not a collection of unrelated video to cover audio statements. Mini-umbrellas allow you to play your audio track over longer videos sequences that hang together.
Q: So, if my profile is going out to dinner, could this a mini-umbrella?
A: Yes. Your profile arrives at the restaurant, orders dinner, eats dinner, pays the bill, leaves the restaurant. This forms a video sequence that allows you to play multiple sound statements rather than just enough video to cover one sound statement. The visual continuity keeps everything flowing smoothly. You’re not jumping all over the place: showing one visual of your profile eating dinner and then going off to something unrelated to cover the next statement.
Q: How long should a mini-umbrella continue?
A: Try to build mini-umbrellas that continue for more than a page.
Q: Can I use a mini-umbrella to cover more than one topic?
A: Yes, but they should be related topics that flow into each other.
Q: In building my treatment, I let one or two voice-overs play over an actuality, then go to another action. Is this the wrong way to do it?
A: It’s a good idea to use one actuality (and don't refer to them as actualities in your documentary treatment -- it is Natural Sound Under with description or Natural Sound Full with description) with several or more voice-overs. You should be building video continuity throughout the program -- i.e. miniature video umbrellas. The voice-overs will play over whatever content you describe on the left side of the page.
Something like this:
Voice Over John Doe Statement
Natural Sound Under
DESCRIBE VIDEO
Voice Over Jane Doe Statement
DESCRIBE THE VIDEO
AS THE MINI-UMBRELLA
PROGRESSES
Voice Over Frank Doe Statement
DESCRIBE THE VIDEO
AS THE MINI-UMBRELLA
PROGRESSES.
And so on.
Put the statements on the right side of the page and describe what we are seeing on the left. Describe Content.
NOTE: Only describe the mini-umbrella video when the action changes, or the scene progresses. If the video stays the same, don’t repeat the video description.
Q: How many mini-umbrellas can I have in the documentary treatment?
A: There is no limit. The more mini-umbrellas you have, the more likely you’ll have strong video continuity in your documentary.
Q: Can I come back to a mini-umbrella throughout the documentary?
A: Don’t confuse mini-umbrellas with the overall show umbrella. A mini-umbrella is a focused and contained video sequence that plays all together as a whole piece unlike the show umbrella, which unfolds in separate segments threaded throughout the documentary. You can move away briefly away from a mini-umbrella, for example to bring your speakers On Camera or to show a sequence of photos, but once you conclude the mini-umbrella you don’t come back to it.
Q: How much detail should I give when describing a mini-umbrella?
A: Give details and specifics. Mini-umbrellas are visual segments. Ideally they have a forward progression -- a beginning, middle and end. Make sure to describe how the video is unfolding.
Q: Does it matter what audio I use over a mini-umbrella – does it need to connect directly with what we are seeing?
A: Your audio should make sense with the video. Although the statements might not match exactly what we are seeing, there needs to be a reason why you are playing this particular statement or topic over this particular video. Make sure that your mini-umbrella doesn’t conflict with, or fight the audio statements. Continuity is important in every aspect of your documentary treatment.
Q: How do I handle the sound in a mini-umbrella?
A: When using voice-over sound statements, the mini-umbrella sound will be Natural Sound Under. But don’t just play your audio statements wall-to-wall. Open up for bits of Natural Sound Full to pace the sequence and give it life. Punctuate a voice-over statement with a moment of Natural Sound Full that plays off of what we have just heard or that takes us to the next statement. Mix it up. Keep it interesting. Mini-umbrellas give you lots of opportunities to be fluid both with video and audio. Flesh them out fully and remember that every ingredient of a documentary should make the story that much richer.
MULTIPLE SPEAKERS
Q: I am trying to integrate as many voices as possible; however, on certain topics, I am limited to my profile and her sister. I don't have anyone else who knows the details of why and how they came to America. Should I try to add in voices on why they (other immigrants) came to America? Or possibly even an expert saying why people come to America? What do you think?
A: Part of the assignment is to use as many voices as you can on each topic so you're right to be wondering about this. Using experts is a good idea. Most likely your profile told the story to others in her life, relatives or friends, and they can recount what they’ve heard or chime it on why these stories are important to your profile and how they may have shaped her life – they might even comment on how they would feel in such a situation. Be inventive and inclusive – find ways to adapt your questions so they can apply to others. And yes, if she has friends who are also immigrants, include those voices in the mix.
Q: Is it better to have a very complete statement from one person – one that really covers a lot of ground, or a series of shorter statements from lots of speakers that build together?
A: Completeness is always important, so make sure your statements have substance. But it’s crucial that you keep your statements focused and to the point. Don’t stay on one speaker for too long. Don’t let your speakers ramble, or go off on tangents, or try to cover too much ground. USE MANY VOICES FOR EACH TOPIC AND INTERCUT THE VOICES TO SHORTEN LONG AUDIO STATEMENTS. More often than not, the longer statements are vastly improved when they are intercut with shorter statements from other voices.
Q: What’s the ideal number of speakers?
A: Try to have about a dozen speakers.
Q: I have about 36 speakers. Is this too many? Is there a limit to how many speakers I should include?
A: When you were told to use as many voices as possible, it doesn’t mean use dozens of speakers. You have to use these speakers throughout the documentary – they must become familiar faces to the audience. DON’T CONTINUE TO INTRODUCE NEW SPEAKERS THROUGHOUT THE DOCUMENTARY. DON’T USE A SPEAKER ONLY FOR A SPECIFIC SEGMENT. Try to use each speaker in a substantial way that spans the entire documentary.
Q: How often should I use a speaker?
A: At least four to six times. Use them throughout the documentary on as many topics as possible.
Q: My profile is very articulate. I hate to interrupt him by trying to work in all these other voices.
A: DO NOT RELY ON YOUR PROFILE TO CARRY THE DOCUMENTARY OR EVEN A TOPIC. Don’t limit your documentary to one primary voice. It’s monotonous and claustrophobic, and it can drag your documentary down. Open up the documentary by including voices on each subject. Multiple voices help with pacing, interest, and context. Use your other voices to help set up and highlight your profile’s experience.
MUSIC
Q: Should I include music in the documentary?
A: Don’t use music just for the sake of using music. The music needs to be integrated effectively into the documentary. If you’re going to use music and lyrics, set up each song properly – either with appropriate voice-over statements or some visual-audio idea that makes it clear why we are listening to this particular song at this particular time in the documentary.
You must connect the songs in tangible ways to your main characters. They must have relevance and meaning to the audience in relationship to your profile.
If you are going to use lyrics, you must connect them to your main characters. Integrate the lyrics into the audio continuity track in meaningful ways that contribute to your story. Develop video ideas that connect to them. Do not use songs that simply show up. They may sound nice and be interesting, but they’re like crashers at a party. You have to integrate into your program.
Q: I want to use a song with lyrics. How do I list the lyrics?
A: If you are going to use a song with lyrics, then you have to print the lyrics so we know what we are hearing (on the right side of the page), and come up with video that works with the lyrics. YOU MUST HAVE A VIDEO APPROACH TO INCORPORATE LYRICS INTO YOUR PROGRAM.
Q: How do I write the instructions if I’m using a song?
A: When you’re adding in music from an outside source (like a CD) it’s Music Full or Music Under on the left side. The lyrics, if there are any, go on the right. If there are no lyrics, put Music Full on the right side as well and describe the song as an instrumental on the right. When the music goes under, it’s Music Under.
Music Full Lyrics (if there are any)
Song: The Name of the Song OR Music Sound Full (if it’s an instrumental)
If the music is part of the scene, it’s Natural Sound Full. In order to separate any lyrics from the other natural sound, like dialogue, put (Lyrics) on the right side just above the lyrics. NOTE: This is one of the only instructions that goes on the right side and it is done here for clarity:
Music Full (Lyrics)
Song: I Could Have Danced All I could have danced all night
Night I could have danced all night.
And still have asked for more.
John Smith and his wife, Mary, John:
are taking a dance lesson My feet are killing me.
(add video details)
Mary:
Both of your left feet.
Try not to step on my toes.
Q: Can I use natural sound and music at the same time?
A: You can, but too much sound mixed together gets confusing. When using music, natural sound works best if the music is a part of the scene and the natural sound is occurring along with the music. It’s a real nightmare to work with this kind of scenario when making a documentary. Editing becomes difficult (or impossible) when dialogue and music are married together. And you also have to pay to for the rights to use the song, even if it’s something you’ve recorded in the background. In this class it’s OK, but should be done with purpose and thought, and runs the risk of becoming confusing.
NAMES
Q: How should I list a speaker’s name?
A: Use the first and last name of the person the first time, and from then on, use only the last name. If two people have the same last name, use first and last names of these people every time.
Q: I know that we are not supposed to refer to our subject by a first name, but since mine is a child (and his parents, who are mentioned a lot have the same last name), can I just call him by his first name?
A: Refer to the child by both names at first mention. Then it's really a matter of style and preference as to whether you call the child his first name or by his last name. After mentioning the child by both names, it is OK to refer to the child by his first name.
Q: My profile's name is Bob Ross and his father's name is Bob Ross. The father is technically Bob Ross Jr. and the profile is technically the 3rd. How should I differentiate between them? Should call my profile Bob Ross III and his father Bob Ross Jr.?
A: OK. Or Bob Ross and Ross' Father.
NARRATION
Q: Wouldn’t narration provide a way to transition from one topic to the next?
A: YOU MAY NOT NARRATE YOUR WAY THROUGH TRANSITIONS IN J-521. Find the transitions in the material. Think about your audio, visuals, and Natural Sound Full – all pieces of the puzzle that must be woven together to create a cohesive whole. It never works to go from one section to the next without rhyme or reason. Narration is a weak cover-up for a program’s holes – and it often feels forced and silly. Build smooth-flowing audio and visual continuity with the material you have gathered. If you can’t make us understand with your video and audio continuity, then the program will fail.
NOTE: Some television programs use narration to speed things up or to wrap up a segment before a commercial break and promote whatever is coming up after the break. Most offensive are programs that try to create more hype and excitement though narration. This is not good documentary filmmaking. The natural flow of elements should be your ultimate goal in putting a story together.
Q: I’m wondering if I should sum-up a rather lengthy, but emotional, part of my profile’s story through narration.
A: Never let some anonymous narrator tell us about an emotional part your profile’s life. Let your profile do it. If your profile starts crying or if he/she says the words slowly, that is OK. We can learn a lot, not just by hearing what your profile says, but also by seeing him/her On Camera saying it. Don’t water down the important information the viewer needs by sticking in an impersonal narrator.
Don’t use a narrator to sum of any part of the story. It is not allowed in J-521. Work with your audio statements, use multiple voices, organize your material to tell a compelling, well-paced story.
Q: How do I know if I need written narration?
A: If what is said in the written narration can be said by the voices in your documentary, you do not need narration. It is a very rare exception for a documentary in this class to need narration.
Q: I feel like I not getting enough overall context through the statements of my speakers – should I add narration?
A: Use your experts to give your speakers’ statements context – the statistical and overview information that provides a larger understanding of your subject. Experts, like every other speaker in your documentary, should be used throughout the program.
Statistics can also be chyroned on the screen (don’t overdo it).
Q: When would I ever use narration?
A: The use of written narration is valuable in a complicated documentary in which it takes time and skill to explain complicated concepts. YOU DO NOT NEED NARRATION IN A PROFILE DOCUMENTARY.
NATURAL SOUND FULL/UNDER
Q: For actualities, do we refer to them as "Natural Sound Full" or "Actuality Sound Full" on the left side of the page?
A: It is Natural Sound Full. Do not use the term actuality in your final project.
Q: When writing a short exchange between two people, in my case an exchange between my profile and his coach before his race begins, is this correct:
| | | |
|Natural Sound Full | |How're you feeling? You stretched out and warmed up? |
|Coach Eric Barron speaking | | |
|with Justin Patananan as he is warming up. | | |
| | | |
|Justin Patananan shaking his | |Yeah, I'm feeling good. Just starting to feel the nerves. |
|arms and legs out. | | |
A: Yes. For clarity, you can put Barron and Patananan's names on the right side when they speak:
Barron:
How are you feeling?
A dialogue exchange like this is the only time you would use names on the right side. Put the name (followed with a colon) directly above the dialogue. Do not use parenthesis. Skip a line between each speaker.
Q: If someone is speaking in a Natural Sound Full segment, where do you list the speaker's name?
A: On the left side of the page (unless it’s a dialogue sequence, see above).
|Natural Sound Full | |We’re never going to win the title if you aren’t 200% |
|Coach James Johnson yelling at his team to do the drill | |dedicated to sacrificing every last ounce of sweat that’s in |
|correctly. He is pacing back | |your body! |
|and forth as the boys in his | | |
|class do the exercise | | |
Q: Am I allowed to "make" Natural Sound Full based on my research and interviews, even though I wasn't there?
A: You can create Natural Sound Full that would be possible and that you recreate from your interviews, etc. If, for example, your profile told you that when she came out of surgery, her mother looked at her, cried and said, "I'm so happy you did this and I'm so happy you are well. I love you very much," etc., you can use that exchange as Natural Sound Full. If in your interviews and discussions with you profile and her family, you have no idea what anyone said, then you should create possible Natural Sound Full this way:
Natural Sound Full (Parents wish Tina well)
Tina’s parents greet her
after the surgery
Just keep it general and put in the kind of material you would hope to get if you were there making a video of the event.
You don't have to be there to create the Natural Sound Full. But you can't make it up. You have to come up with Natural Sound Full segments that seem appropriate in that situation based on what your profile and her family and friends told you.
Q: Can I cover an experience like it's happening NOW but in reality, it happened six years ago?
A: Six years is quite a long distance away. The best way to do it would be to follow some other current experience and then have your speaker, who had the experience six years ago, recollect what her experience was like.
Q: Should I put Natural Sound that I did not witness in parentheses? For example, I interviewed the girl who I'm using as my umbrella via phone, so I never observed her first hand. However, we've exchanged many e-mails and had phone conversations so I can envision what the situation was. Would I write, (Joyce Ahn asking Dr. Bang what she can expect from the surgery)?
A: Yes, use parentheses.
Q: How do I get good Natural Sound Full for my documentary?
A: Good Natural Sound Full segments come from your observations. You must be a good reporter. To get strong Natural Sound Full you must spend time with your subjects. Watch them in action. Make good notes on what you see and hear, or use an audio tape recorder.
While it’s true that in J-521, you have the latitude to construct Natural Sound Full segments out of something that is described to you by your profile, these segments will not have the vitality and the power of something you witnessed with your own eyes.
An important part of being a documentarian is to bear witness, to be a fly-on-the-wall. Hone that skill and, in the process, you will compile the material that will bring your documentary to life.
Q: If we have a shot that is Natural Sound Full and the same sound continues but the shot changes, do write Natural Sound Full under the new shot? Or do we only change the instruction when there is a new sound?
A: You do not repeat the instruction unless the instruction changes -- Natural Sound Full stays Natural Sound Full until you write Natural Sound Under or some other instruction. Once said, it doesn't have to be said again unless it changes.
Q: How detailed should I be with my Natural Sound Full segments? Can I just summarize, i.e., my profile and her mother talk about the upcoming party?
A: Be extremely detailed. We need to hear everything that is Natural Sound Full. Don’t summarize. Be complete. Put us in the middle of a situation so we get a chance to observe your profile in action. Don’t just write Natural Sound Full on the left side of the page and forget to tell us what we hear in all of its detail on the right side of the page during Natural Sound Full. We want to hear the dialogue, the give-and-take conversation, the specific details that make the documentary treatment come alive.
Q: Where do I list Natural Sound Under, before or after the On Camera instruction?
A: Always put Natural Sound Under (or Music Under) AFTER the On Camera or Voice Over instruction.
Q: Should I write out the dialogue between subjects? Where on the page?
A: Yes. WRITE OUT THE DIALOGUE in your Natural Sound Full segments. You write it on the right side along with the rest of your audio continuity track. No parenthesis around Natural Sound Full dialogue. No quotes. If there are more than two people talking, use their names. NOTE: This is the only time you would use names on the right. Don’t put names on the right side of the page unless it’s a Natural Sound Full situation where you have to identify various speakers.
When using Natural Sound Full you must put a space between each speaker in all dialogue sections for easier reading and visualization. PUT PARENTHESIS AROUND ALL OTHER NATURAL SOUND FULL SOUND THAT ISN’T DIALOGUE. For example:
(Sound of splashing water as Tasha
drinks out of a bowl)
Q: How much should I play Natural Sound Full where there is no real content but just ambient sound, like high-heel shoes walking down the street, the wind blowing, traffic noise?
A: General sound is not very good sound. Natural Sound Full should be of something -- not just high heel shoes walking down the street (although some of that, I guess, could work in setting the scene). Poor Natural Sound Full segments add nothing to our knowledge of the subject. Natural Sound Full should be fascinating. Don’t give us things like birds chirping, distant traffic sounds, creaking floorboards, door slamming shut, the hum of fluorescent lights, water pouring, etc. Surely you can see that this kind of sound is unnecessary and doesn’t teach us anything. OK as Natural Sound Under, but Natural Sound Full? Don’t feature sound that has nothing to do with your subject and offers no information or interest.
Q: Can you give me some tips on what makes a good Natural Sound Full segment?
A: Natural Sound Full segments are action segments when the camera simply observes an activity and the people, supposedly, are oblivious to the camera. You pick up the dialogue, the action, the charged moments. A documentary filmmaker collects Natural Sound Full moments – they are gold.
Natural Sound Full segments are set apart from your audio statements and should not be filled with audio statements. In a Natural Sound Full segment we hear what is going on in the scene itself.
Natural Sound Full segments are revealing. They open up a documentary and show us things about your profile, a situation, a problem. They are observational as opposed to segments that are built around audio statements on your various topics. A Natural Sound Full segment allows the audience to be dropped into another world. You don’t want to tell the audience everything and with Natural Sound Full segments you give the audience an opportunity experience a situation. Nothing makes for better TV than being able to eavesdrop and discover truths for yourself.
Natural Sound Full segments are full of substance – they can be humorous, poignant, exciting. They are filled with emotion and laughter, tears, anger, love, the range of emotions. They are the heart and soul of the documentary. Flesh them out. Be specific. Without detail, Natural Sound Full segments do not come to life. DO NOT USE GENERALIZATIONS AND SUMMARY. You need specific details. Actual exchanges between people. DO NOT SAY “INTERACTION” – YOU MUST WRITE OUT ALL OF THE DIALOGUE.
Use Natural Sound Full segments to lead into new topics. Pay close attention to the opening and closing of a Natural Sound Full segment – making good transitions is an essential skill in the art of long-form documentary making. Look for ways that Natural Sound Full can bridge the gaps – find a moment, a bit a sound, some dialogue to carry the audience into a new topic. Natural Sound Full is a very effective tool for smoothing transitions and building continuity.
Q: I have visuals showing my profile looking for a job, which I am using with audio statements that talk about him being out of work. Do I just play the natural sound of what is going on under the statements?
A: If you are using voice-over audio statements, it is Natural Sound Under on the left side of the page under the Voice Over line:
Voice Over Speaker’s Name Statement
Natural Sound Under
Skip a line and describe what we are seeing.
BUT DO NOT USE AN ACTION SCENE, SUCH AS YOUR PROFILE LOOKING FOR A JOB, OR ANY OTHER ACTIVITY, AS SIMPLY A HOLDER FOR AUDIO STATEMENTS. Find places where you open up to let us hear a bit of Natural Sound Full. Use every opportunity to include Natural Sound Full as part of the storytelling. Avoid using wall-to-wall audio statements – let you documentary breathe with Natural Sound Full.
Q: Should I have Natural Sound Under for all of my visuals?
A: Only use Natural Sound Under when it is warranted (and when natural sound exists). For example, if you have a sequence of photographs that were shot in a studio, there would be no natural sound. Your sound for this sequence would come from audio statements – possibly music.
Q: When I describe the scene after the Natural Sound Full instruction, do I skip a space?
A: No. The description goes directly under the Natural Sound Full instruction:
Natural Sound Full
John Smith is walking his
poodle in his upscale neighborhood.
ORGANIZATION
Q: Can I come back to certain key topics more than once?
A: Don’t revisit subjects. It gives the program a feeling of repetition and redundancy. Watch out that your statements don’t contain information that feels reminiscent of a previous statement, even if it’s slightly different. Keep all related information together. Don’t build an audio continuity track that lurches back and forth.
Q: I can’t figure out how to introduce all of my speakers early in the documentary.
A: One way to introduce your speakers at the beginning of the documentary is to think of a topic that sets the stage for your subject and allows many voices to chime in. A topic that defines or describes, or elicits viewpoints about something can work well early in your Middle.
Q: I am profiling a love story between two people. How do I tell both of their stories?
A: It might be effective to intercut their biographies so we can better understand how these two different people grew up, went to school, and then met and fell in love. By intercutting their two stories, you can make the statements shorter and give a better pace to the documentary.
Q: My documentary focuses on a suicide. Should I start with details of the suicide to grab the audience’s attention? It’s very dramatic and horrific material.
A: It’s too soon to open with the horrific details of the suicide. The impact will be lost because the viewers don’t know this person yet. You need to set up your main speakers in great detail before you get into the details of the suicide. Let people know what happened and what a tragedy this is at the beginning, but then build up to the details of the suicide, the discovery of the body and the aftermath ending the documentary with this material.
Q: Can I start the Middle of my documentary where the Prologue leaves off?
A: The Middle should start as if the viewer hasn’t seen the Prologue. The Middle must be able to stand on its own.
Q: How do I keep my documentary from feeling predictable? Can I organize the elements so that everything isn’t so linear?
A: Here is what will keep your documentary from being predictable: Content that is fresh and engaging. Be careful about jumping around in space and time. It’s likely to end up confusing and frustrating your audience. Instead, keep us riveted by digging deeply into your subject and showing us things we don’t already know.
Q: I worry that my documentary is becoming too broad.
A: You lose an audience if you bring in too many tangential ideas that really don't belong in the documentary. Focus is important in a documentary. But if it’s a profile documentary, it is valid to explore many areas of your subject’s life.
Q: I don't want it to suffer from ambiguity - I want to be flexible and follow the story as it develops but I don't want it to become unwieldy and convoluted.
A: It's OK not to be definitive. Let the voices carry the story and if there is a bit of disagreement or conflict, let it ride.
BE CLEAR. BE COMPLETE. BE ACCURATE. BE FAIR. Organize your material so the presentation is easy to grasp and covers all sides, all points-of-view.
Q: How should I approach organizing the documentary?
A: Be a producer not just an assembler.
PARTICIPANTS
Q: I don't know if I should get another profile because mine seems hesitant to meet with me, now that she has signed on. I feel somewhat frustrated.
A: It is a real danger signal when your profile is hesitant to meet with you. You are doing a complex and complete profile and that means you will have to spend hours, days, months following her around, talking to her, and formally interviewing her over days. If she is reluctant to speak to you, you had better get another profile.
You're not just "meeting" with a person. You are with them as often as possible and you are with their friends, relatives, co-workers, family, etc. as often as possible.
Q: The woman I want to profile asked me how much time she will need to commit to the project, particularly in the coming month. Can you give me an estimate?
A: It is always a concern when someone asks you how long it will take. It means the person is worried about how much time to give you. You need to focus on someone who is willing to let you become a part of his/her life for several months -- that means following your profile around, going where your profile goes, being with him/her for hours a day. The actual formal interview process could take anywhere from five hours to several days depending on how much information you get while with your profile.
This is a documentary and not a news piece where you go in, do an interview, get some video and then come back and edit it all into a five-minute or less profile. This is a documentary in which you want to put the audience into the heart, the soul, the very being of your profile. This takes time and effort.
So if your profile is already asking how much time will this take, the idea could be in jeopardy. I would tell her that you want to get to know her and spend a lot of time following her around. If she balks at this, you should find someone else.
Q: I am having trouble getting any contact information from my sources. How should I proceed?
A: This may turn out to be too difficult a program to do in J-521.
Q: I have spent a bit of time with my profile and am ready to interview her friends. The problem is several of the people she referred me to are in the entertainment business and seem to have no time to talk. They recommended that we interact via e-mail, which would be fine except that they also requested I only ask 3-4 questions. They said that was about all they'd have time for. Should I ask my profile for other people who have more time? The thing is, these two people who are so busy but are happy to be involved to a degree, have known my profile since she was 13 years old so they'd be great resources. Thoughts?
A: Start with the three to four questions via e-mail and after they answer the e-mail, try a few more questions and see how far you can go. Also find people you can interview in person who do have time and are not in the entertainment business. Perhaps relatives and her "best" friend can fill in the gaps.
Q: To find participants, I am thinking about creating a flyer and placing it all over campus stating that I am looking for students who have been victims of crimes on or near campus. Do you think this is a good idea?
A: It’s very resourceful idea and could work BUT it will take time to get results, and you could find yourself waiting to see if anyone responds while the weeks tick down. If you do it, you should have another strategy to get your subjects, and then anyone who responds to the flier would be a bonus. Incidentally, I don't know about the legalities or permissions needed to post the fliers on campus so you would have to look into that.
Q: My profile is a close friend of mine. Can I include myself in the documentary as one of the voices?
A: Yes. Refer to yourself in the third person and use your voice like any other speaker on a variety of topics throughout the documentary. An advantage of using yourself in the documentary is that you can write your statements to help with transitions. Your statements should be well thought out and well written.
Q: I wanted to avoid putting myself in the documentary, but a couple of weeks ago, I was with my profile at a photo shoot and the photographer was being an ass to her so I basically told him off and he kicked us off the set. I was going to use that as an example of how my profile allows herself to be bullied and how that habit has been with her since she was a child.
A: You can use yourself if you treat yourself as one of her friends who happened to be on the set and told off the photographer. Treat yourself just as you would treat anyone who participated in that kind of a situation.
But just to throw you (or any person) into the documentary for one scene is never a good idea. Unless you plan to integrate yourself into the documentary as one of the voices ready to speak on any and all topics, the best way to handle this is to skip the episode. It's not clear whether it will really show how your profile lets herself be bullied, and if this is a common situation, you probably have many such examples to use.
Now – in terms of your getting involved with the story as a journalist: It is unprofessional for any journalist to get involved in the story. We're not really talking about Journalism 521 but real life. If you are covering a story or following a profile for a nonfiction TV program or participating in a story as the journalist, you should NEVER get involved in the story.
It really doesn't matter if the photographer is being an ass and bullying your profile. It is not YOUR story. It is none of your business. It is not your place to tell off anyone. He should have kicked you off the set. You are a reporter, a journalist and your job is to shut up and take notes, not to participate in the story. Journalists who participate in stories are no longer journalists -- they can be advocates, lawyers, doctors, friends, lovers, but not journalists.
A journalist -- and that is what you were trying to be when you followed your profile to a photo shoot -- does not participate in the story no matter how ugly or unpleasant that story becomes. You are a fly-on-the-wall. You do not exist. You have to keep your mouth shut and simply REPORT what happens.
Budding journalists who feel that they have to save the world -- or in this case the integrity of your profile -- shouldn't be journalists. They should be social workers. So in the future, this word of advice: Never get involved in the story you are covering. That is unethical, immoral and bad journalism. If you do, then you can no longer do the story and must give the assignment to someone else, someone who is less passionate and more professional.
Being a journalist is being a professional and doing the job no matter how tough or ugly that job becomes. To get involved is a cardinal sin.
POINT-OF-VIEW
Q: Can I work my personal views into the documentary?
A: In this age of Michael Moore, some students want to do a documentary that has a personal point-of-view. However, J-521 is a course about accuracy and fairness, not one editorial point-of-view. There can be points-of-view in the documentary and even, in some cases, a documentary conclusion -- i.e. if the documentary is on a welfare mother, the documentary could be from HER point-of-view, but not from the documentary maker's point-of-view. The documentary should reflect the various points-of-view of the people featured in the documentary, not that of documentary maker's.
Q: I was wondering when or if I should incorporate the negative consequences of eyelid surgery--a broader question is, how much should I focus on things that are not directly related to my profile's life and experience? Obviously I need to focus on eyelid surgery but what if it doesn’t’ really pertain to my profile's experience?
A: You should include the pros and cons of eyelid surgery whether it pertains to your profile or not. This is a documentary on Koreans' obsession with plastic surgery and your profile is an example of the phenomenon. There is no problem in including the pros and cons of the surgery from a physical, psychological, emotional, etc. viewpoint. The documentary will be more complete if you include more than your profile’s point-of-view.
Q: In some statements, my profile’s family and friends say nice things her. I think some of it may be over-the-top but it’s sweet, too. Should I limit these kinds of remarks?
A: Don’t use statements that are simply laudatory comments. Be aware of the speaker’s point-of-view. Don’t use comments that are superficial and too general. The statements should always explain why.
PHOTOS
Q: How much should I describe photographs? Can I just say, photograph of my profile at age 5?
A: You need to supply details on what the photos look like – tell us what your profile is doing in the photograph, who else is in the picture. Or you can reproduce photographs (small size) in your treatment.
Q: Is there natural sound under a photograph?
A: Only if the photograph is tied to action such as someone looking through a photo album. In that case you would hear the Natural Sound Full of the person leafing through the album, or Natural Sound Under, if we are hearing a voice-over audio statement. If the person is doing an interview while looking through the album, indicate it as:
On Camera John Doe Statement
John Doe looks through a
photo album at pictures from
his childhood.
Voice Over John Doe Statement/
Statement continues
A photograph of John Doe, age 3
in a rabbit costume
But if it’s a photo that plays on its own, something shot in a studio, there is no natural sound. Your audio would be the voice-over statement, or perhaps music.
REPORTING
Q: What is expected in terms of reporting?
A: You need to find the story and deliver it with all the necessary elements. Here are some guidelines:
Be sure to include many developed voices on each topic. Show us good interviewing that gets deep inside your subject.
Present your subject pictures not just words.
Be on location to gather Natural Sound Full segments that show us your profile in action – segments that are rich with observed moments documenting the experience and adding to our knowledge of the subject. Don’t tell us everything. Put us there.
Get all the information you’ll need to be specific and detailed when describing your material. Be complete. Don’t leave out important information.
Find the real story. Give us the inside secrets about your subject.
Assemble a knowledgeable group of experts to give your subject greater context.
Tell the story from beginning to end, personalize material, and make an accessible
documentary for a mass audience.
RESEARCH
Q: How can I make sure that I have done enough research?
A: You need to know your subject inside-out – it’s various aspects, nuances and ramifications. A superficial documentary is one that never gives us the specific details. Bits and pieces, but fails to give us a complete picture.
Acquire a deep and profound understanding of what it’s like to be your profile. Capture your profile’s outer and inner life.
Make sure not to leave out or skimp on key aspects of your profile’s life. If you don’t know something, find out. You must be an expert on all parts of your profile’s life.
Fill in any holes in the story by digging deeper, asking more questions. There should be no missing parts of the story.
Bring your profile’s story into sharper focus by understanding not just the person, but the overall subject matter of your documentary and how your profile reflects or differs from the bigger picture.
Talk to lots of people. Don’t just interview a few friends and let it go at that. Cast a wide net and find a varied array of speakers.
Collect all the details that flesh out the story.
STYLE (for more style questions, check related sections)
FORMATTING STYLE
Q: Should I write “continued” if something carries over to the next page?
A: Do not use the word “continued” or “continuing” or “more.” Make sure you don’t split up statements or descriptions and there is no need for the word “continued.”
Q: Can I use three dots to show a pause, or if someone doesn’t finish a thought?
A: Do not use three dots under any circumstance. Use periods or commas. Work to make sure your statements are complete.
Q: Should I include street addresses in the descriptions?
A: Do not clutter the treatment with such information as street addresses, e-mail addresses and other similar material that has no place in the left side of the page reserved for instructions and video details. Put that material in your appendix or forget it. We don’t need that kind of specific information.
Q: Do I need to include an appendix?
A: No. It’s up to you. But if you tell us to “see appendix” for a photo of your speaker, or any other photo you might include, be sure to list the number of the photograph.
Q: Should I put quotes around statements?
A: Never use quotes around statements.
Q: How should the page be formatted?
A: You need two separate columns. Leave approximately one inch of white space between the two columns. Too much space is as bad as too little space.
DO NOT JAM TOO MUCH ON A PAGE. Leave space at the top of the page and around each new instruction/description/statement.
Q: What goes on the left side and what goes on the right?
A: Instructions and video details go on the left. What we hear goes on the right.
Q: How do I indicate material that comes from other source?
A: Put statements from periodicals, books, websites and from “unavailable-for- interview” speakers in parentheses.
Q: Can I split a statement?
A: Never split statements. It is a cardinal sin.
Q: What should I keep in mind when it comes to style?
A: You must follow the rules as outlined. And be consistent. Inconsistency means everything has to be checked – you cannot be trusted. Be consistent and make sure the style is correct.
SOUND STYLE
Q: How do I list sound instructions?
A: All sound instructions go on the left. If it’s an audio statement do it like this: On the first line tells us whether the statement is On Camera or Voice Over followed by speaker’s name.
Then put Natural Sound Under if there is any. Natural Sound Under always goes just below the Voice Over line, not before it. Do not skip a line.
Q: Do I have natural sound with an On Camera statement?
A: You cannot put someone On Camera and say Natural Sound Full. It’s one or the other.
YOU CANNOT WRITE ON CAMERA and NATURAL SOUND FULL for the same instruction. A person is On Camera even though they are doing something besides sitting at a desk. Natural Sound Full means there is something happening in front of the camera, but it is not an audio statement.
You can have Natural Sound Under if you are continuing the sound from the previous scene or bringing in the sound from the following scene. However, in J-521 this is not necessary or recommended. It is a technique best left for an editor, and used as a way to create smoother audio transitions.
Q: Is it Natural Sound Full when you have someone engaged in an activity and talking about what’s going’s on?
A: If the person is talking to you, it’s an interview, NOT NATURAL SOUND FULL. You would list it as ON CAMERA. If you have someone talking to the camera while doing something else, just describe what he or she are saying and the video will explain that they are not sitting in a chair or at a desk. Natural Sound Full is used for non-interview material.
If you want someone talking over an activity (as opposed to talking during the activity), it is Voice Over and then describe whatever is going on.
Q: Where do I put Music Sound Under?
A: All information has to go on the LEFT side of the page. All we have on the right side of the page is WHAT WE HEAR. That means Music Sound Under goes right under Voice Over or other instruction. Like this:
Voice Over Speaker Name Statement
Music Sound Under
Q: Do I put Voice Over for each new voice-over statement?
A: Only if the person who is giving the voice-over statement changes. If the same person is continuing to talk voice-over but the visual changes, don’t write Voice Over again. Just describe the new visual.
You only have to list instructions (i.e. Natural Sound Full, Voice Over) if they change. If Natural Sound Full continues, do not repeat the instruction.
VIDEO STYLE
Q: Where do I put video descriptions during a Voice Over statement?
A: You must put the specific video under the Voice Over instruction. Skip a line after the audio instructions and put the video. The video should be opposite the audio statement and lined up with it. Put all video instructions NEXT to the audio statement that they accompany.
Voice Over Jane Doe I just love to bake. Especially
Natural Sound Under cakes. Every cake I bake is a
unique creation. Sometimes
Doe is putting pink frosting I even dream about the cake
on a huge three-layer cake. beforehand. The image of what
it will look like appears to me in the dream, every detail,
every swirl of frosting.
Q: Do I describe video under the On Camera line?
A: On Camera means On Camera, so don’t add video ideas under an on-camera statement, other than to describe the situation if the statement is not given in the formal interview setting. If you have video material, then go to Voice Over. You cannot have someone On Camera if there is other video involved.
Q: I know we’re not supposed to use camera jargon, but when I’m describing a visual is it okay to say, “We see” and then describe the visual?
A: Do not to use the phrase “We see….” Just to describe what we see.
Q: Can I fade to black at the end of a video sequence?
A: Fading to black has to be a consistent motif, or you must have a specific reason for doing it. But never you fade to black and stop the audio. Keep the Natural Sound or Music Full and move on to your next segment.
Q: Is it OK to “jump cut” two on-camera statements from a speaker together?
A: Do not go from an on-camera statement to another on-camera statement from the same person. There’s no reason to do it. In J-521 you can write one statement using parts of different statements.
TITLE
Q: Can I just fade down picture and put my title over black?
A: You can do it, but it needs to flow out of the Prologue through proper set-up. It isn’t a very creative solution, but sometimes it works in minimalist, less-is-more, kind of way, particularly if the content is powerful. But remember, you need a video and audio approach to your title (if it’s over black you still need sound).
If you put the title over picture, you need to tell us exactly how it will come it – whether it’s over a freeze frame or some bit of punctuating action, or a pertinent visual.
In all cases, you need to have a final statement that sets up the title. Possibly a subtitle to clarify.
Then you: Fade up your title. Hold. Fade down. And go to your first commercial break.
TRANSLATIONS
Q: Some of my speakers are speaking in Spanish. How do I indicate that and then do the translation?
A: When you translate from Spanish to English, or any other language, this is the style:
Voice Over Speaker’s Name FIRST TWO WORDS OF FOREIGN LANGUAGE…English first words and
THE COMPLETE STATEMENT….LAST
TWO WORDS OF FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
Q: When I use statements that I translated from Korean to English as voice-overs, can I write on the left side:
Voice Over Suk Hwan Kim
(Translated from Korean)
A: FINE the way you have it.
UMBRELLA
Q: I am confused about what an umbrella is.
A: An umbrella must be a simple, single episode, or connected progression, in a person’s life that ties the documentary together – i.e. a wedding, a birthday party, an anniversary party, day-in-the-life of, something that happens in your profile’s life that tells us about who he or she is, or depicts the process of something that your profile is going through.
Weave the umbrella throughout the Middle (documentary proper). When you go back to the umbrella, these segments should be self-contained short segments with Natural Sound Full. Each segment should be funny, interesting, bittersweet, annoying, whatever. But special.
Your umbrella should allow the audience to eavesdrop and learn things for itself.
Q: What makes a good umbrella?
A: Come up with an umbrella that ties the entire program together.
The more active and varied the umbrella, the better the umbrella: a 60th anniversary party, or a 50th birthday party, or the construction of a building, or an operation, or going out with the police for a day, or a trial, etc. The more exciting the umbrella, the better the program. An umbrella needs to have a natural progression. It needs big hunks of Natural Sound Full. And it needs substance. Don’t make the mistake of using an umbrella just for atmosphere. Your umbrella must have content. Avoid using an umbrella that is visually uninteresting and repetitive.
Q: Does every documentary treatment need an umbrella?
A: Umbrellas are not mandatory but they are strongly advised. Most, if not all, documentary treatments in this class will benefit from an umbrella. Umbrellas provide a built-in structure and help greatly to enhance the documentary’s flow and continuity. You’d have to have a really good reason not to use an umbrella.
Q: How much should I play of the umbrella at one time? How many times do I come back to it? How do I sequence it?
A: Think of the umbrella segments as chapters. Each should be self-contained and focused on a specific part of the process or situation. Your umbrella must be a continual progression that ends with the conclusion of the process or event. It should feel complete. Each time you go back to the umbrella, the process has to move along to its conclusion. You need to establish a rhythm with your umbrella. In a 60-page treatment, you should return to your umbrella six or so times. Maintain consistency with the interval length between umbrella segments. Don’t go too long without re-establishing the umbrella. And don’t place umbrella segments too close together. Don’t ever forget about your umbrella – it needs to be there throughout the Middle.
Q: When I go back to another umbrella segment, what should I keep in mind?
A: Make sure each umbrella segment is a progression from the last one. You want the umbrella continuity to give the documentary a forward progression. Each new umbrella segment should add to our knowledge
Q: To what degree should I incorporate voice-over audio statements into my umbrella?
A: DON’T USE YOUR UMBRELLA AS VIDEO FOR YOUR AUDIO TRACK. The purpose of the umbrella is to let us eavesdrop a your profile’s life so much of it should play Natural Sound Full. Without that, the umbrella is meaningless. Your audio continuity track along with complimentary video will, for the most part, be different from your umbrella.
Q: How do I get enough material for my umbrella?
A: You need to be there, taking it all in -- all those great moments, natural dialogue exchanges. Write it all down, or record it to audiotape. Be a good reporter. Your umbrella will only be as effective as the details you gather.
Q: How detailed should I be in describing the umbrella segments?
A: Your umbrella needs to be fleshed out fully. Describe in detail what we are seeing – all of the action – and what we are hearing, all of the dialogue and natural sound.
Q: How do I make my umbrella segment flow naturally out of topics?
A: Focus on the transitions. Find statements that lead us into what we’re about to experience in the umbrella segment. Look for Natural Sound Full that plays off the topic we’ve just heard. Same thing when the coming out of the umbrella: Look for a moment that can lead us right into your next topic. The umbrella can really help to connect the pieces and fill in the gaps. If you don’t use it that way, you are missing a golden opportunity to bolster the documentary’s continuity
.
Q: I would like to use Thanksgiving as an umbrella but would have to turn in the paper late or guess at what might happen, based on other Thanksgiving celebrations the family has had.
A: If you guess at what happens at Thanksgiving, you won't have those wonderful moments of Natural Sound Full that will just occur during the Thanksgiving celebration. It would be better if you picked an umbrella that you have observed so you can come up with Natural Sound Full segments that add to the viewers' understanding.
Q: What do you think of the following as an umbrella: The idea is to show the process of bringing organic food to the table, It could begin with a parent marketing, putting away groceries, prepping, cooking, serving, family enjoying.
A: Umbrella sounds OK. But it might even be better to go the whole 9 yards -- start with farmer and planting of organic food and move through the entire cycle until it ends up on the family's table. I think you would have to use a variety of people showing the various stages of the organic farming-marketing experience.
Q: Should the umbrella be the first thing that opens the Middle?
A: Establish the umbrella motif either at the beginning or after the opening statements in the Middle. AN UMBRELLA MOTIF MUST BE CLEARLY ESTABLISHED SO THAT THE AUDIENCE RECOGNIZES AND UNDERSTANDS IT. Make sure the audience understands what is going on.
Q: Should I use my umbrella at the end of the Middle?
A: YOU HAVE TO RETURN TO YOUR UMBRELLA AT THE END OF THE MIDDLE to give closure to the umbrella and remind the audience that it is an important symbol of what the documentary is about.
NOTE: You will want to hear from your profile for his/her final thoughts as well.
UNAVAILABLE-FOR-INTERVIEW
Q: How do I write-it when someone is unavailable-for-interview?
A: Handle your unavailable-for-interview speakers in the following way: On the left side put Unavailable-For-Interview under the person’s name. On the right side put what they would talk about, the topic-question. Don’t write a statement, just the topic-question and use parenthesis so we know it is not a direct sound statement.
On Camera Jill Brown (She will tell her favorite story about
Unavailable-For-Interview Joe's childhood.)
Voice-Over Sue Smith (She will discuss the first time Joe
Unavailable-for-Interview heard someone sing.)
Q: Must I repeat 'unavailable-for-interview' each time I come to that speaker?
A: You must always repeat, "unavailable-for-interview" each time that person appears in the documentary, unless the person was only unavailable-for-interview for a particular statement or topic. If an interview with a speaker is incomplete and you are missing a person’s statement on a topic, you would indicate this by saying
Unavailable-For- Interview
For this statement
Unavailable-For-Interview
For this Topic
Q: I am a little concerned that I have a concentration of people who are involved in my profile’s present day life and don't have a good mix of people who can speak to his childhood, life on the streets, etc. The problem is my profile is not in touch with many people from his earlier days intentionally so it has been difficult to access interviewees from that period of his life.
A: Be as complete as you can – unavailable-for-interview statements can be used if the people are unavailable for a variety of reasons (they live in another state, no one knows where they are, you simply do not have time to find them). All of these are valid reasons. It’s important to use multiple speakers on topics, and for J-521, unavailable-for-interview speakers can save you.
Q: Should I keep using an unavailable-for-interview speaker throughout the documentary?
A: Use an unavailable-for-interview speaker just like any other speaker. Do not overload an unavailable-for-interview speaker with a litany of subjects all at once. The information should be dispersed in smaller pieces throughout the documentary. Intercut an unavailable-for-interview speaker with other speakers throughout the documentary.
Q: Do I put quotes around what the unavailable-for-interview speaker is saying?
A: Don’t use quotes around any statement. Use parenthesis. Describe what the unavailable-for-interview speaker would be speaking about, rather than listing an actual quote. If he’s unavailable-for-interview, then there shouldn’t be a quote.
Q: Should I chyron an unavailable-for-interview speaker?
A: Yes. All of your speakers should be chyroned – even if you took their statements from other sources.
VISUAL CONTINUITY
Q: I am having a really hard time coming up with good visuals. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Right now, the story structure is very fragmented. There is definitely more I'd like to include, I’m just getting hung up on trying to figure out how things would work together - maybe better visuals will help.
A: You have summed up the primary problem all of us have when putting together a good documentary -- good visuals. It is one thing to work very hard and come up with a documentary filled with ideas and a good audio continuity track. That in itself is very, very hard work. But to come up with smooth visual continuity -- that is even more difficult for the beginner
So here are few hints:
1. Use an umbrella. Mini-umbrellas as well. Build miniature video sequences that will cover the beginning of a topic and the end of another topic.
2. Never throw in visuals just to throw in visuals. That makes for a choppy program. Make sure all the visuals flow together and flow with the audio statements.
Just think creatively, and make sure your video and audio work together. Not an easy job.
Q: I'm having a hard time shrinking my visuals and adding more to the audio continuity track. I guess one of the reasons may be that I don't have voice-overs in yet.
A: You don't "shrink" visuals. You build visual continuity to go with audio continuity. So a bit of advice: BUILD YOUR AUDIO CONTINUITY FIRST. Then integrate the visuals into the audio continuity track. Only people with a good deal of experience can work with visuals first.
So: Build the audio continuity track first using every topic in the proper order with as many voices as possible on each topic. When you finish that -- and do it for the entire Middle (the documentary proper), then integrate visual continuity and as many Natural Sound Full segments as you can figure out.
If you do that, you will never be in a position where you are trying to "shrink visuals" and add more to the audio continuity track. Start with the audio continuity track and all will be well.
Q: As long as the video is illustrative of what is being said, it should work. Right?
A: Your video MUST have some relevance to what the speaker is saying. But, it must also be video that is connected to the speaker. Don’t make the mistake of using impersonal or general video, even if you think it somehow relates to the statement. DO NOT DO THIS: Your profile talks about being in elementary school so you show video of anonymous elementary school children. General video is poor video. You cannot rely on general video for a voice-over if you want the audience to understand what is going on.
Q: What is general video?
A: General video is generic, impersonal, anonymous video of a location or a situation. General video is confusing, distracting and distancing, and it often fights the audio statement. It should not be used in your documentary.
Q: Can I use a present day example to illustrate something that happened in the past?
A: This is a very tricky technique. You can’t just stick in a present day situation reminiscent of something that happened in the past solely for the purpose of illustrating the past story. This becomes something akin to a bad recreation. You have to first establish the scene we are seeing by including statements/topics that talk about the current day visuals, relating them directly to your subject in a meaningful, present tense way. These visuals should include your profile/speakers. They should not be anonymous, generic images.
For example, if your profile had a frightening episode in an airplane you could show him on a plane taking a current trip. The audio statements would set up that he travels for business, if he does, or whatever the reason is he is traveling. Then once we are oriented as to why we’re on a plane, he recounts the frightening episode of a past flight.
Only after you have set up a good framework for what we are seeing can you go into a past tense story. But use the visuals carefully. The video should not fight the audio. Don’t try to force a specific story point over video that doesn’t match. It is confusing and distracting When the connection no longer seems to work between what we are seeing and what we are hearing, bring the person On Camera.
DO NOT just show anonymous images of airplanes, or people we don’t know flying, or even your profile flying when you haven’t set up why.
Q: Can I use recreations?
A: Not in J-521.
Q: Help! I am running out of video ideas and I still have lots of audio left.
A: Think about all of the things your profile does especially things related to the subject of the documentary. Show us video that helps us to understand your profile and what his or her life is all about. Work on video ideas that add to our insight about your profile. Tell a story visually that compliments audio statements. Don’t make the mistake of filling your treatment with meaningless video that often has nothing whatsoever to do with what is being said. This creates a totally confusing documentary treatment that is impossible to understand.
As a last resort, simply use a statement On Camera. Ineffective video is worse than no video at all. Here is what you have to remember: IF YOU DO NOT HAVE VIDEO THAT MAKES ANY SENSE, THEN SIMPLY PUT THE PERSON ON CAMERA and intercut statements with many voices so that the statements are short, concise and to the point.
But work hard to develop interesting video ideas throughout. Good video ideas are crucial part of documentary filmmaking.
Q: How creative can I be with my visuals?
A: Creativity is important and will enhance your documentary. Don’t be afraid to use daring visual concepts as long as they connect to your audio.
Q: Should I use exteriors of buildings?
A: Avoid using exteriors of buildings and other video that adds nothing to our knowledge of the profile. Work on video ideas that add to our understanding of the profile. Skip the exteriors and take us inside where the something is happening.
If you do use an establishing shot, bring it alive with Natural Sound Full of something that is going on inside. Then move us inside where the action is.
Q: What are common mistakes I can avoid in building my video?
A: Keep in mind the following:
Your video needs to make sense with your audio. We don’t want to hear one thing and see another. When the video fights the audio, the video usually wins – the audience will pay attention to even poor video over any audio. The video and audio have to go together, they have to work together to make a whole greater than its two parts.
Make sure the video isn’t forced or disjointed. You need to move seamlessly
from one visual image to the next. The specific images should be well thought
out and compliment the audio continuity track, flowing nicely into Natural
Sound Full segments. The video should never be an afterthought thrown in to
illustrate something said or referred to in the audio continuity track.
Don’t use impersonal or general footage. It makes it impossible for the audience to identify with these people. They hear personal statements over impersonal video. It makes for a confusing presentation.
SHOW YOUR PROFILE IN INTERESTING VIDEO SITUATIONS. We should glean more information through visual ideas.
Don’t just throw video in – it must have its own continuity. You can’t build your
video with one isolated image after another. BUILD VIDEO CONTINUITY
THROUGHOUT.
Don’t use video for just one statement.
Don’t use meaningless video that shows little creativity.
Give us video details, continuity, sequences that either begin or end with Natural Sound Full segments.
Q: I had an idea about repeating a very meaningful piece of video from earlier in the documentary at the end for emphasis. Is this an acceptable technique?
A: Reusing video at the end of the documentary proper (the Middle), or anytime. is a risky idea – the audience may feel these shots are repetitive and feel letdown. Create an ending with new material.
Q: Is it OK to summarize the video?
A: Better to offer descriptions of video content rather than summaries. Specifics give a documentary treatment texture.
Q: When is it better to simply bring someone On Camera?
A: If your video is general, insufficient or weak, bring the person On Camera.
If your video continuity occasionally fights wonderfully descriptive audio statements, bring the person On Camera so we can see and hear the fine statement.
Bring your speaker On Camera whenever what they are saying doesn’t really go with the video.
If it’s an emotional statement or very personal statement we should be on the person speaking.
WEBSITES
Q: I know you said we could quote from books, etc. I want to quote off a website. Can I just say “Cerebral Palsy Expert” as the speaker?
A: No problem in quoting off the Website. Cerebral Palsy Expert is OK. Better to have a specific name or person. Tell us on the left side of the page where the quotations came from. Put the statement in parenthesis to indicate that it is not a direct sound statement. No quotes.
WRITING
Q: What should I keep in mind when writing my treatment?
A: Make sure that the instructions and statements are clear and precise. The writing must capture the favor and texture of the documentary. Make sure your Natural Sound Full segments reflect your profile in action. Draw us into this world through good description and details. Do not clutter your treatment with unnecessary information or camera jargon. Avoid wordy statements impossible to understand on first hearing.
Bring the story to life through your writing. We should feel as if we’re watching the documentary – seeing and hearing it -- by the richness of your description and your attention to detail. Transport us.
INDEX
|Subject |Page Number |
| | |
|Actualities |22, 29, 32, 86, 90, 101, 135, 144 |
| | |
|Actuality Interviews |21, 41, 42, 44–47, 50, 54, 90, 97, 108, 109, 133 |
| | |
|Audio Continuity Track |23 – 28, 29, 49, 99, 106-110, 121, 123, 133, 134, 136, 139, 142, 148, |
| |149, 150, 158, 167, 172,178 |
| Audio Details |34, 35, 36, 37, 39, 40, 47, 49, 55, 63, 71, 72, 108,168 |
| Cleaning up statements |106, 107 |
| Combining Interviews |107 |
| Introducing Speakers |33, 56, 65, 117, 128, 138, 150 |
| Examples of |49-54 |
| Long |106, 107, 137 |
| Not Fluent in English |106 |
| On Camera |54, 59, 69, 102, 108, 109, 110, 113, 117, 128, 142, 161, 163, 173, 174,|
| |176 |
| Referring to people outside the story |57, 118 |
| Repetition |107, 150 |
| Voice Over |40, 55, 109, 110, 115, 117, 119, 128, 135, 136, 139, 156, 161, 162, 167|
| Voice Over to On Camera |51, 55, 109 |
| | |
|Biographical Material |44, 87, 89, 100, 102, 121, 122, 133, 150 |
| | |
|Book Quotations |111 |
| | |
|Camera, Using for Class |2, 130 |
| | |
|Camera Jargon |37, 46, 47, 61, 62, 63, 66, 112, 113, 163 |
| | |
|Chyron |50, 59, 61, 63, 65, 68, 114-116, 117, 123, 143, 171 |
| Clips |41, 42, 43, 68, 117 |
| Repeating |57, 49, 115 |
| Unavailable-for-Interview speakers |171 |
| When speaker comes from another source |111 |
| | |
|Clarity |35, 36, 41, 63, 100, 103, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 140, 144, 151, 164 |
| | |
|Clips |42, 53, 57, 68, 69, 119 |
|Commercial Break |30, 48, 98, 104, 120 |
| | |
|Completeness |87, 104, 121, 122, 123, 128, 131, 137, 146, 151, 152, 155, 158, 167, |
| |170 |
| | |
|Continuity |38, 41, 53, 57, 63, 69, 100, 111 123, 136, 142, 148, 166, 168, 174, 175|
| See also Audio Continuity & | |
|Video Continuity | |
| | |
|Deadlines |4, 5 |
| | |
|Descriptions |56, 112, 124, 125 |
| Example of |49-54 |
| | |
|Elements, Audio & Video |23 |
| | |
|Epilogue/Ending |37, 97, 123, 126, 127, 150 |
| | |
|Examples, student papers |33-75 |
| | |
|Experts |41, 63, 65, 114, 128, 129, 132, 137, 143, 157 |
| From Books |111 |
| | |
|Final Treatment |3, 106-178 |
| | |
|Formal Interviews |20, 42, 90, 93, 94, 97, 109, 132, 133, 152 |
| | |
|Formal Interview Summary |20, 21, 92, 94, 95 |
| | |
|General Summary |30, 31, 98-102 |
| | |
|Grading |3, 32 |
| | |
|Ideas |2, 77 |
| | |
|Idea Summary |77 |
| | |
|Interviews | |
| Archival |108 |
| Transcribing |24-26 |
| See also: | |
|Actuality Interview | |
|Formal Interview | |
| | |
| | |
|Interviewing |17–19, 129,130 |
| By e-mail |130, 153 |
| Interviewer’s Questions |130 |
| | |
|Issue Documentaries |44, 60, 131, 132 |
| Examples of |38–43, 60-70 |
| | |
|List of Objectives |8, 9, 78 |
| | |
|Lists |10–16, 79-90 |
| | |
|Locations |82, 83, 90, 95, 97, 133 |
| | |
|Location Actuality List |20-22, 95-97 |
| Miscellaneous Locations |95 |
| | |
|Man-on-the-Street Interviews |124 |
| | |
|Mini-Umbrellas |39, 40, 54, 55, 67, 69, 100, 101, 134-136, 172, 175 |
| | |
|Multiple Speakers |35, 59, 88, 99, 117, 137, 138, 142, 150, 157, 170, 172, 174 |
| Examples of |33-37, 49-59, 61-60 |
| | |
|Music |71, 72–75, 86, 119, 139, 140, 149, 156, 162 |
| When Music is recorded on location |72-75 |
| | |
|Narration |29, 32, 127,142, 143 |
| In Epilogue |127 |
| In Prologue |104 |
| | |
|Natural Sound | |
| Use with On Camera Statements |110 |
| General Sound |41, 46, 48, 71, 72, 147 |
| Natural Sound Full |34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 49, 52, 55, 61, 67, 69, 71, |
| |108, 110, 119, 121, 123, 134 136, 144-149, 151, 156, 161, 166, 167, |
| |168, 172, 174, 175 |
| Examples of |73-75 |
| Dialogue |39, 41, 72, 73, 144, 146, 147, 148 |
| Examples of |73-74 |
| Natural Sound Under |36, 50, 58, 63, 66, 110, 135, 136, 146, 147, 149, 156, 157, 161 |
| With Music |140 |
| See Also Music | |
| | |
|Organization |150, 169 |
| See also Topic/Organization | |
| | |
|Paragraph Summary |91 |
| | |
|Participants |152-154, 158 |
| Including Self in Documentary |153, 154 |
| Showing all sides |122, 152 |
| | |
|Photos |52, 57, 60, 66, 85, 149, 156 |
| Using in treatment |112, 124, 156, 159 |
| | |
|Point-of-View |151, 155 |
| | |
|Prologue |30, 97, 103–105, 123, 124, 146, 150 |
| | |
|Reporting |35, 44, 49, 54, 100, 146, 154, 157, 167 |
| | |
|Reviews |3, 6, 7, 76 |
| | |
|Shooting Summary |20–22, 92-97 |
| | |
|Style | |
| Formatting |32, 36, 34, 126, 159 |
| Left Side |32, 41, 42, 43, 68, 108, 112, 119, 135, 140, 144, 146, 147, 160, 161, |
| |162, 170, 177 |
| Names |35, 37, 40, 50, 52, 55, 61, 65, 66, 68, 69, 141 |
| Parenthesis |45, 73, 105, 111, 144, 145, 147, 160, 170, 171, 177 |
| Quotes |41, 72, 111, 159, 171, 172 |
| Repeating Instructions |33, 35, 135, 146, 162, 170 |
| Right side |32, 34, 37, 66, 68, 108, 135, 139, 140, 144, 146, 147, 160, 162, 170 |
| Audio |32, 34, 61, 146, 149, 161, 162, 163 |
| Video |32, 35, 163 |
| | |
|Title |75, 103, 104, 164 |
| | |
|Topics |25, 88, 99, 100, 122, 123, 128, 134, 137, 150, 168 |
| Large |93, 128 |
| Missing |93 |
| Organization/Order of |25 - 28, 33, 92, 98, 100, 102, 150, 151 |
| Relating to Subject |122 |
| Using more than once |92, 150 |
| | |
|Topic-Questions-Statements |87, 88, 92, 99 |
|Translations |106, 165 |
| | |
|Umbrella |33, 35, 98, 100, 101, 102, 123, 134, 166-169, 172 |
| In Prologue |105 |
| | |
|Unavailable-for-Interview |57, 64, 65, 160, 170, 171 |
| | |
|Visual Continuity |28, 29, 34, 41, 51, 59, 63, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 71, 85, 101, 102, 111, |
| |121, 123, 133, 134, 136, 139, 142, 157, 172-176 |
| Black, Fade to Black |163, 164 |
| Examples of |44-48 |
| Building Exteriors |174 |
| General Video |40, 49, 53, 59, 62, 64, 68, 85, 101, 110, 173, 175 |
| Illustrating past topics with present day |38, 39, 40, 56, 58, 59, 60, 173 |
|footage | |
| Recreations |174 |
| Repeating Video |175 |
| Scenics |85 |
| Video Details |35, 36, 40, 75, 112, 136, 158, 168, 176, 178 |
| | |
|Websites |177 |
| | |
|Writing |44, 49, 71, 153, 178 |
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