Why do we become stressed?



Helping Ourselves and our Families through Coronavirus Anxiety and StressMany of us are currently experiencing concerns and worries about many aspects of the current Coronavirus pandemic: the impact if we become infected, worries about family members and friends, the impact on our earning capabilities and how we protect our families. There are so many uncertainties at present that is it no wonder anxiety levels are so high. Ignoring stress doesn’t help. It can be felt like static in the air and infects everyone in the house. The stress ball bounces back and forth between family members and affects everyone. It can affect our actions and behaviours; our verbal and non-verbal communications. People may argue more, withdraw from each other; feel disconnected; feel sad and frustrated; overwhelmed and impotent.Stress has become a normal part of our everyday lives so much so that we can become immune to the symptoms and warning signs.Why do we become stressed?We have developed a great response to dangerous situations. We use our sympathetic nervous system to create an involuntary, automatic response and ensure we react appropriately for self-preservation. A great response when our ancestors were out hunting for food and met a sabre-toothed cat! Fight or drop everything and run! Times have changed, however, and fight or flight is not such a good response when we are worried about something that’s not good but it’s not an immediate life or death situation such as losing our jobs, our ability to protect or feed our families; or the health of loved ones. So, what happens?Understanding our reactions can help us to manage them.The two main stress hormones are adrenaline and cortisol:adrenaline is responsible for our immediate reactions to danger and helps release the energy to fight or run;cortisol is released in the longer term to allow the body to concentrate on dealing with the situation by suppressing digestion and growth and increasing sugar in the bloodstream.Usually after a stressful situation passes, our hormone levels return to normal and, although exhausted, we feel calm and at ease as we have ‘run off’ the hormones produced to protect us. However, chromic stress is on the rise in modern society and, because it suppresses our normal body systems, it can cause ill-health.How do we recognise the symptoms?We need to check in with our feelings and those of our family members. Help each other to acknowledge our feelings and recognise that we may need to feel like this at the moment. It may be as simple as “are you having a bad day?” and then genuinely listening to the answer.Are you tired? – the stress hormones accelerate your heart rate and breathing and cause your muscles and whole body to tense for action which can make you feel exhausted. Lack of sleep as your brain works overtime to try to solve problems can cause the same problem.Do you have headaches? – stress headaches feel like pressure on either side of the head and can also be accompanied by tense neck and shoulders.Are you irritable? – our stress hormones make us hyper-responsive and our sensory receptors more sensitive, so everything seems more intense.Are you tearful? – stress can lead to tears, but they have a great function in removing cortisol too. Remember that old wives’ tale: you’ll feel better after a good cry – it’s right! Do you have a loss of libido or sexual desire? – your hormones need to be in balance in order to experience sexual desire – stress hormones upset this balance. Do you have a loss of appetite or food cravings? – appetite may be suppressed by certain stress hormones but, especially after a long period of stress, the cortisol increases your appetite of sweet and starchy foods.What can we do?Listening is a skill that we all need to practice in normal times. In times of crisis, it can be more important. People need to talk and feel they are understood before really taking in any advice or suggestions. That goes for ourselves as well. We need to be able to listen without constructing a solution or counterargument in our heads. In ongoing, longer term situations we need to find stress-relief by talking about our feelings rather than a brainstorming session on what to do so try to listen first.Practical Actions“…give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.” (attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, 1930s)There are things we can control and things we cannot control.We can control how much media we watch; we can focus on facts rather than rumours; we can explain the facts to our children; we can prepare and shop sensibly and follow guidelines for leaving the house. We can also ensure that we have contact details of friends and family so we can keep in touch. We can accept that events are impacting on us and others and plan breaks, de-stressing activities, and even fun, as a part of our loose schedules.There are also things we cannot control and trying to control those things strengthens our beliefs that everything is out of control and can lead to further stress and anxiety. We cannot control these ‘things’ but we can take actions to control our responses:We can retrain our thoughts to concentrate on the present and keep positive. We know that our negative thoughts are another evolutionary trait – being aware that sabre-toothed cat may lurk in the trees was very important to keep us safe in the past. It still plays a part in our lives but can lead us to a mood-spiral downwards. At nights you can reflect on your day and think about three specific good things that happened to you that day. Whether if it was someone making you a cup of coffee, an amazingly beautiful sunset, or even the smallest things, like being paid a compliment, or watching your dog roll around, are more than enough to make you happy.We can suppress the adrenaline rush at the start of feeling stressedDeep breathing exercisesBreathe in, inflating your lungs as deeply as you can, for a count of four; hold for a count of four; breathe out for a count of four – if you can manage longer that’s fine, change these counts as appropriate. Don’t worry if you get a little dizzy, that’s the brain getting used to a better supply of oxygen. Slow, deep gentle breathing calms down the nervous system and resets to the parasympathetic – the relax and rest system. A far better system to be in.Meditation exercises.Concentrate on happy memories.A good technique for everyone but very useful with young children and also useful for distracting those who tend to concentrate on a difficult situation and worry about itPractice muscle relaxation.Slowly tense and relax muscle groups throughout the bodyGreat to do with children and teenagers as well as adultsFor other exercises check out reliable sites and apps onlineReducing Cortisol levelsExercise: not so easy when we are allowed out for an hour a day but there are things we can do: dancing to music, online exercise classes, walking, running, cycling or even gardening and housework. Sleep: sleep deprivation leads to higher cortisol levels in the bloodstream. Avoid caffeine later in the day, avoid bright lights such as your phone screen in the evening and try to keep to a regular bedtime and routine. It can help to have calming music or a book being read to you in the backgroundHave fun – play games together or online, watch or listen to comedies, join in one of the online quizzes or game sessions.Eat healthy foods and ones that reduce cortisol such as dark chocolate, black or green tea, yoghurt, pears and bananas.The point of this factsheet is to attempt to support you as you spend lengths of time in stressful conditions and in close proximity with your family. Unchecked stress can sabotage your family relationships and lead to dissatisfaction and disconnection but there are many ways you can take action to alleviate your own stress and support your family. We hope that you will be able to take some ideas and use them to support you and your family. ................
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