Typically, my stories are light hearted, and most involve ...



Life is hard

Typically, my stories are light hearted, and most involve in some form or fashion, my monster-in-law, who by the way, gave me the same thing this Christmas that she gives me every year - a shirt that’s the wrong size. Unfortunately, this one will take a turn:

I was late getting this essay in, as my creative fuse blew about three months ago. As I look back, it happened to be about the same time all my kids starting asking how many days were left until Christmas.

I’m no scrooge, but I don’t like hearing about Christmas when it’s still in the 90’s outside, and I sure don’t like thinking about it, as I begin having panic attacks as soon as my wife gets that look in her eye and starts going shopping for ‘just a few things this year’.

However, we made it through the holidays, and we had a wonderful time. The kids got what they wanted, momma got what she wanted, and I got everything I wanted. Since we all got what we wanted, and no one was crying after we opened the last gift, I deemed it the best Christmas ever, and everyone agreed. Also, my bosses were kind enough to give everyone a couple of extra days off with pay, so we all began the New Year on a high. Then something happened, and it was tragic.

On January 4th, a dearly loved cousin in my family, Nicholas, was killed in a dirt bike accident. He was 14 years old.

As you can imagine, this was devastating to our family, but it was also devastating to my family here at the office. You see, Nicholas’ mom works with me, and so does his aunt and cousin. To say the least, it has been painful time for everyone at home and at work, and it continues to be.

I’ve got a neighbor named Ed, and he always sums it up very simply every time we speak of such things, “Life is hard.” he says. “It’s just so hard.”

After you go through all of the emotions surrounding any death, there’s a whole set of new ones to go through when it’s a young person. As the father of numerous offspring, the fate of my own children has been at the forefront of my mind and an honest, albeit selfish, reflection of my own failures as a dad has made me wonder about all sorts of stuff; the brevity of life mainly.

Usually around this time of year, I’m all focused on my same old New Year’s Resolutions – eat better, drink less, don’t be so lazy, and spend more time with the kids.

Man, that’s so lame. I should be doing that stuff anyway.

How about I focus on something a little more remarkable – life itself.

If one is to truly focus on the beauty of life and make an honest attempt to exploit it for the gift that it truly is, one cannot help but ask a different set of questions, and searching for the answers to those questions may be the best resolutions we could make.

I can’t tell you what those questions are cause they’re a secret. Just kidding. They’re different for each one of us, as those questions are all relative to how we’re bent. I do know that one must keep it very, very simple.

Walter Pater said,

With this sense of the splendour of our experience and of its awful brevity, gathering all we are into one desperate effort to see and touch, we shall hardly have time to make theories about the things we see and touch.

Everyone knows that our time on this earth is short, but that’s not the point. The point is, and this is only meant as a reminder, don’t waste time thinking about anything other than finding those answers and then making the most of the gift of life that has been given to you, and then go out and share that gift, waking each day reminding oneself to never again take it for granted.

Nicholas shared his love of life and he enjoyed every minute of it, especially his time on the football field. He was passionate about the game. I just wish he would have had more time to be passionate about other stuff too. We certainly do, and for however long that time shall last, share your passion for that which is so remarkable.

Nicholas Benjamin Mentesana

1993-2008

May his memory be eternal.

Robert Ogle lives in a tiny dwelling made of sea grass with his wife and a bunch of kids they made. He works for one of those flood zone determination companies down there in Texas and he has served on the NFDA Board for a very, very, very long time.

2008 © Robert L. Ogle, Jr.

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