Draft Standard English 1



NAME: _________________________ CLASS: ____________ TEACHER: ______

|Achievement Standard 1.10: Form personal response to independently read texts |

|Level One – 4 Credits – version 1 |

Personal

Reading

|Achievement |Achievement with Merit |Achievement with Excellence |

|Form personal response to independently read texts,|Form convincing personal response to independently |Form perceptive personal response to independently |

|supported by evidence. |read texts, supported by evidence. |read texts, supported by evidence. |

Assessment Summary

Teacher Evidence

|Text Number |Type of text |Opinion stated|Evidence given|Achievement |Achievement with Merit |Achievement with Excellence |

| | |x2 |x2 | | | |

| | | | |Form personal response to |Form convincing personal response|Form perceptive personal response|

| | | | |independently read texts, |to independently read texts, |to independently read texts, |

| | | | |supported by evidence. |supported by evidence. |supported by evidence. |

|1 |Written - Extended | |

|Students must submit responses for at least six |Students must submit responses for at least six |Students must submit responses for at least six |

|texts. |texts. |texts. |

| | | |

|At least four responses must demonstrate evidence |At least four responses must demonstrate evidence |At least four responses must demonstrate evidence |

|of personal understandings of, engagement with, |of personal understandings of, engagement with, |of personal understandings of, engagement with, |

|and/or viewpoints on a text by: |and/or viewpoints on a text and present relevant |and/or viewpoints on a text and present relevant, |

|stating clearly two opinions on each text |and reasoned understandings by: |reasoned and insightful understandings by: |

|supporting each opinion with evidence from the |stating clearly their opinions on the text |discussing how the text has affected their ideas or|

|text, either quotations or specific details. |expanding and explaining each opinion in a reasoned|views |

| |way |explaining why a particular feature of the |

|For an example of the type of response required for|providing supporting evidence (either quotations or|structure or style of the text was interesting or |

|achievement, see Exemplar C. |specific details) that is directly relevant to the |effective |

| |opinion. |discussing how the text made them think about |

| | |connections with their own life, the world, or |

| |For an example of the type of response required for|other texts. |

| |achievement, see Exemplar B. | |

| | |For an example of the type of response required for|

| | |achievement, see Exemplar A. |

Exemplar A: Excellence

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini is an amazing but emotional novel about 2 women against the

background of the last 40 years in Afghanistan.

The relationship between two of the main characters, Laila and Mariam, is absolutely unforgettable. Their sheer

love for their kids and their compassion for each other is devastating. Being friends made both of their lives

bearable from the harsh lives they both led as being women in Afghanistan and the wives of a horrid, disgusting

and nasty man. But this was not the case when they first met. They always avoided each other and when they did

inevitably run in to each other there was always conflict. Mariam was angry at Laila because Laila seems to be

replacing her as Rasheed’s wife “… if you think you can use your good looks to get rid of me, you’re wrong. I was

here first. I won’t be thrown out. I won’t have you cast me out.” But Laila was always humble towards Mariam and

even saved Mariam’s life when Rasheed was beating her nearly to death. When Laila had her baby, Aziza, this

was the link to becoming best friends for the rest of their lives to come. I think that the main reason they

connected so well, was that they had so many unbearable tragedies in their past lives and yet they found a way

to keep going. In the end, it is their love that triumphed over all the death and destruction in their lives. “…There is

nothing more I want. Everything I’ve wished for as a little girl you’ve already given me. You and your children

have made me so very happy. It’s all right Laila jo.” They always truly put each other’s happiness before their own

and this was what made their relationship so inspiring. They had been through so much together; so many things

that indefinitely tested their endurance. But their love for each other always persisted and as a reader this made

the novel heart-wrenching but also different to anything I’ve read about or experienced, they had a bond that you

never see in my society. This was why I loved their relationship, because people these days certainly don’t

depend on other people as much as they depended on each other. In some ways, I do wish I had a friendship like

theirs with one of my friends, a true friendship. But I believe that in order for you to be truly friends with someone

you have to go through a horrible experience with them, just like the countless horrible experiences Laila and

Mariam went through together. I’m not sure that I would cope.

I really admired Tariq for his courage and love for Laila. I found that the character Hosseini created was very

heroic almost. He always stuck up for Laila, even though he only had one leg. “…telling him would be a very bad

idea. Someone would get hurt, because Tariq wouldn’t be able to let it pass.” I found that this made him very

courageous and set an image in my head of someone who was strong and not afraid to face people that were

threatening and bigger than him. Throughout Laila’s childhood Tariq was like an older brother to her. He protected

her and made her feel safe. He was unique and different from any other boy she had known and her life revolved

around his. “Tariq, who taught her cuss words in Pashto, who liked salted clover leaves, who frowned and made a

low, moaning noise when he chewed, who had a light pink birthmark just beneath his left collarbone shaped like an

upside down mandolin.” She knew everything about him. Even when Laila and Tariq were little, they were always

around each other and back then you could already sense the beginning of the love they ended up having for each other,

“I’d follow you to the end of the world Laila.” Later on they fall in love and she conceives

their child but Tariq leaves Kabul with his family to become refugees in Pakistan - to avoid the violence in Kabul.

Laila is entirely crushed. I loved Tariq’s character because he had a strong heart and the effect he had on Laila

was really charming and engaging. He taught me that true love always lasts, even with the years Laila and him

were apart. He would never do anything to harm anyone he loved. In the society he was living in, he was

completely different to all the other males. Many abused and hurt their wives but he would never even think of

doing such a thing and I believed this made him strong, to not ‘follow the crowd’. Many boys that I know certainly

would not be as strong willed as he is. Too many people follow the crowd these days, but Tariq is a great

example of someone who stands up for himself and people he loves, and cares for them with all his heart. He is

the kind of person that would do anything in his power to make sure they don’t ever get harmed.

Reading this novel made me feel empathy for Afghans. The effects of war and radicalism have been extreme for

the women in particular, who were forced to stay at home, and couldn’t help support there families. The war in

Afghanistan was out of order and too many innocent lives were lost. I believe war is certainly not worth the

consequence of pain, destruction, death and heartache after reading this novel.

Exemplar B: Merit

The book Touching the Void by Joe Simpson Is an auto biography about his time climbing the west face of the Siula

Grande in the Peruvian Andes with a friend Simon Yates. Together they climb and eventually reach the summit;

however their trip down is more serious than first thought a lot more dangerous in fact. The first part of the descent

results in Joe falling and shattering his knee, his lower leg is driven up through is thigh. Luckily Simon is able to get

down to him and start lowering him down the mountain, all goes well until they encounter a big cliff, they start the

descent but they run out of rope and Simon has no choice but to cut him free. Simon concludes that Joe must be

dead and he continues his descent down the mountain.

This book kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time even though you knew Joe had to be alive because

it is an auto biography and he wrote the book. During his time on the Siula Grande Joe and Simon narrowly escape

death many times. I admired the mental strength Simon showed to make the final cut. I can’t even begin to imagine

how hard a decision it would be to make. He would have felt like a complete failure even though there was nothing

he could do ‘I wanted to question what I had done. It seemed necessary to prosecute myself, and to prove that I had

been wrong.’ He supposably let Joe fall to his death in order to save his own life. If Simon had of hung on, not only

would Joe have died, but Simon would have been pulled clean off the mountain and sent them both falling to an icy

grave. This made me think about how much strength it would take to cut the rope. It would be an extremely difficult

decision to have to make, to send a mate to their death. Because as far as Simon is concerned, that is exactly what

he has done. This made me think about my great grandmother when she had had enough of living and just wanted

to die, her pills were the only thing keeping her heart going. She made the decision to go off the pills knowing that her

time would be up soon after this. This also shows a lot of mental strength as to take life, whether yours or someone

else’s.

I’m amazed at the intensity of the human survival instinct that Joe has shown throughout this book. ‘I awoke with a

start- ‘Get moving…don’t lie there…stop dozing…move!’ The voice came through the wandering idle thoughts…’.

He fought and fought until he was back at camp and he had gotten someone’s attention, and then he couldn’t go

any further, he collapsed unconscious. Once again, I could think of an example from my own family, which made

me think that the ideas about humans in the book could apply to anyone, not just adventurous people. My

grandfather had a motorbike accident on the farm. With broken ribs, a broken collar bone and punctured lungs

he managed to stumble back through the paddocks until he got my grandmothers attention and at that instant

as she saw him he collapsed and couldn’t move any further. It seems as if the human survival instinct keeps

going and going, until it has done its job and gotten you to survival.

Exemplar A: Achieved

Losing It by Lizzie Wilcock

Novel

I strongly admire Gabbie’s character as it is expressed well throughout the whole story. She had a unique way

of expressing herself. ‘I am a freak. My right breast is larger than my left one.’ As the opening of the story I

thought it was a different but effective start as I had the idea of a problematic story with all sorts of solutions,

twists and odd situations. I believe Gabbie is a strong girl who is caring and mostly a great person. She has

the negative thoughts of boyfriends and her body’s image sometimes. But she always shakes those minor

problems off and focuses on the important things in life. I can relate to her character a bit as I am the favourite

child and I also was one of the last of my friends to go through puberty. “Not am I the last one of my friends to

have kissed a boy but I am the last to go through puberty.”

Gabbie is part of a very close family with her mother, father and brother. They all get along well; they have no

secrets and are open to each other. Gabbie has a best friend called Zoe they are two very close and similar

characters at the beginning of the story; they spend nearly every weekend together and help each other out.

“Gabbie, this is going to be the first weekend in three months that we can’t spend together.” I think Lizzie built

a strong relationship between these two characters during the beginning, but the bond started to brake

throughout the story. “Go away Gab, we are no longer friends. It’s my life not yours!” The situation that includes

this sentence is very dramatic but well thought out and described. I felt it added more emotion to the story. Zoe

drifts apart from Gabbie as Gabbie becomes closer with another friend, Whitney. Zoe starts to become rebellious

and change. I think it is a real shame that this happens as I have witnessed girl fights like every girl will sometime

in their life. They are depressing, hurtful and can ruin not only friendships but people’s personalities and people

themselves.

Exemplar D: Not Achieved

Twilight

Stephanie Meyer

This novel is written from Jacksonville Schoolgirl Bella Swan’s point of view. Bella is forced to move to cold and

green Forks, while her Mom Holidays. So Bella moves in with her father Charlie and is enrolled in Forks High

School. In her cafeteria she meets a family named the Cullen’s. She shows particular interest in one of the boys.

His name was Edward Cullen. “About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second,

there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third,

I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

Twilight is a story of Heart-Break, Action and Romance, all packed into a 450 paged book.

The book was a very interesting read, and it made me feel compelled to read the rest of the Saga, all of which were

also great books. I feel that Twilight has been the best book/series since J.K Rowling’s ‘Harry Potter’ series. I felt

this because Stephanie Meyer actually has a feel for her characters, whereas other books such as Harry Potter,

I feel, are just written for money, or fame.

When reading Twilight, I noticed tension between the characters, and this is what made me read the rest if the Saga.

An Example of this is when Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are having a conversation, and “He drew my trapped

hands around his back, holding me to his chest. I kept as still as I could, even breathing with caution”. This quote

just samples the tension between Bella and Edward, and how their relationship is complicated with his vampirism,

not only that, but also having to choose between a vampire or another human. Twilight is packed full emotion,

which classifies it as a romance genre. I personally am not into romance genres, but Twilight really stood out, and

I was left actually feeling emotion for some of the characters, and understanding their point’s of view and opinions.

Personal Response to Independently read texts Level 1

Structure of a response

Text #___ /6

Title:

Author:

Text Type:

Date:

Paragraph 1

What the text was about in no more than 3 sentences.

Paragraph 2

When I read this text, I felt (adjective). I felt this because… (general explanation). For example… (be specific so that the marker can visualise the example). I feel that… (link the example to the adjective in the first sentence and explain why you responded this way. A strong answer will extend this explanation to consider how this response is relevant to wider human behaviour and the society we live in).

Paragraph 3

An interesting idea that this text made me think about was… . The author seemed to be suggesting that … . We see this in the text when … (specific example – one where the reader can visualise what you are describing). This shows us that (link the example you have just described to the interesting idea you chose at the start of this paragraph). I think this is (adjective eg great, weird, unusual, very true, intriguing, so important, quite radical…) because… (give your opinion, with reasons, explanation, discussion. Expand on the idea or topic - the text is only your starting point. You can make reference to your own experience or to the society we live in.)

Paragraph 4

Overall, this text… (sum up your response). (Final comment on your evaluation of the author’s achievement - perhaps relating it to what you have learnt or discovered or been made to consider by reading it.)

If the ideas you write about are meaningful (go past stating the obvious; are thought provoking; explained in a way that is sincere and considered), that goes towards merit.

If the ideas you write about are perceptive (meaningful and expressed in a way that shows original or fresh or critical thinking), that goes towards excellence. Perceptive thinking goes beyond the obvious, shows deeper thinking and judgement in a critical or evaluative way.

SUMMARY OF RESPONSES NAME:

Teacher Evidence Sign and date in the relevant section.

|Text Number |Type of text |Opinion stated|Evidence given|Achievement |Achievement with Merit |Achievement with Excellence |

| | |x2 |x2 | | | |

| | | | |Form personal response to |Form convincing personal response|Form perceptive personal response|

| | | | |independently read texts, |to independently read texts, |to independently read texts, |

| | | | |supported by evidence. |supported by evidence. |supported by evidence. |

1 |Written - Extended | | | | | | | | |2 |Written - Extended | | | | | | | | |3 |Written | | | | | | | | |4 |Written | | | | | | | | |5 |Written / Oral / Visual | | | | | | | | |6 |Written / Oral / Visual | | | | | | | | |

← Students must submit responses for at least six texts.

← At least four responses must demonstrate evidence of achievement to receive that grade.

← At least four responses must demonstrate evidence of achievement with merit to receive that grade.

← At least four responses must demonstrate evidence of achievement with excellence to receive that grade.

Overall Grade Awarded N A M E

Teacher Signature-_____________________________

Remove this page and give it to your teacher for record keeping. There is a copy on page 2 for students’ use.

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Opinion stated clearly and reasons expanded.

Second opinion stated clearly and reasons expanded.

Opinion developed and explained with insight, with reference to own society and personal experience

Relevant quotations support points made.

Relevant quotations support points made.

Opinion developed and explained with insight, with reference to society and personal experience. Ideas show reflection and thoughtful response to book.

Opinion stated.

Supporting evidence given.

Opinion expanded in a reasoned way with reference to student’s own experience. Not developed enough for excellence.

Supporting evidence given.

Opinion expanded, in a reasoned way, with reference to student’s own experience. Not developed enough for excellence.

Personal reflection on character. Not expanding initial opinion.

Supporting evidence provided.

Opinion clearly stated.

Second opinion stated, with supporting evidence.

Opinions expressed. However, not linked to specific incidents/characters/ideas.

Quotations support plot points, not personal response.

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