Alpha Alumnae Association part of ‘miracle’ of recovery
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Alpha Alumnae Association part of ‘miracle’ of recovery
Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje - Express-News
On a recent breezy December evening, in a large conference room lit by bright fluorescent lighting, about 20 women gather around long tables that have been pushed together.
Before them sit plates filled with chips and dip. The women sip sodas. And they laugh — robust, riotous laughter that starts deep in the belly and radiates outward. On their faces are warm, genuine smiles that belie the seriousness underlying this meeting.
The gathering is about none other than saving the women’s lives.
You would think a group get-together of recovering alcoholics and drug addicts would be a grim, depressing affair, but the bimonthly meeting of the Alpha Alumnae Association is nothing like that. The women, all graduates or soon-to-be graduates of Alpha Home, a private, non-profit, spiritually- based substance abuse treatment program for women founded by Trinity Baptist Church in 1966, beam with good-humor and self-reflection. They’re here to exchange their "experience, strength and hope" during the long, often arduous walk of recovery.
The alumnae group was started a little more than over a year ago by Dolly Lopez, 38, a graduate of Alpha Home who wanted to provide the "missing link" that exists between leaving a recovery program and re-entering the real world. A vivacious professional in the medical field, she showed up for her first meeting dragging an ice chest full of sodas and carrying snacks. No one else showed up.
But an Alpha Home staff member told her to keep going. Today, the group has swelled to about 20 members and stands to keep growing, even beyond the bounds of Alpha Home alumnae.
"I saw that what was working for me was sticking together with other women in recovery," says Lopez. "When I started doing this, I saw the loneliness and isolation start to go away, as you begin to feel like you’re part of something. We have to change a lot of things in recovery. We can’t hang out with the people we used to hang out with, the ones still using.
"But when you take that away, unfortunately it often leaves nobody. We have to look to different avenues, and who better than women who’ve gone through exactly what you’re been through, who have the same desire to stay sober?"
Lopez has indeed traveled a long road. She started drinking at age 13 and by 19 was a "full-blown alcoholic," she says. By 30, she was abusing cocaine and drinking every day. She lost her job, her marriage, and, eventually, her children.
But today she stays clean by attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, talking with her sponsor (a sober mentor) and, now, heading up the alumnae group. AAA is separate, though strongly supported, by Alpha Home, which allows the group to meet on its East E. Magnolia campus. Though 12-step-based, the AAA doesn’t have as many formal rules as AA. Alcoholics Anonymous. The feeling at meetings is free-wheeling and warm, as the women tell their personal stories.
On the recent night, meeting-goers included some veterans as well as young women in the last stages of the home’s 90-day residential program.
One of the old-timers included Alpha Home graduate Sandra Dahl, 42, who was looking at a 32-month jail sentence for distributing methamphetamine before she got sober. (She ended up getting five years probation instead.) She says the AAA gives her a sense of connection she finds nowhere else.
"It gives you support, and what I like about it is going back and helping the other girls," she says. "That’s why I do it. I come back to sponsor them and be a mentor and help pull them up. I tell them my story."
Renee Fitzgerald, 38, another graduate, brought her 12-year-old daughter Madison, along with her to the alumnae gathering. She drives all the way from the SeaWorld area to near-downtown to attend the group — it’s that important, she says. A recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict, she hit "rock bottom" when she overdosed and experienced a psychotic episode and had to be admitted to the hospital.
"When you’re doing drugs, you feel alone and different," she says. "This is a place I can come where I don’t feel judged." And I can give as well as get. We’re all connected in some kind of way."
The AAA "keeps me from becoming complacent about being sober," adds Kathryn Glisson, 53, who abused pain medication. "It reminds me that I do have to participate in my recovery, that sobriety is not some sort of invisible shield that I can wrap around me."
The handful of young women attending who were still in the treatment program say they welcome the fact that AAA offers them a way to find friendship and understanding after they leave the safe confines of the home.
"I’m terrified about getting out," admits Christina Butler, 32, who almost went to jail for methamphetamine use. "But God is giving me another chance here. I felt like I was locked up inside myself, and lost the key somewhere. (Alpha Home) has given me the key back. And I’m just astonished and grateful" for the alumnae group.
Rusti Reser, 26, also says she’s worried about how she’ll do once out of treatment.
"The AAA group will help keep me grounded," she says. "It will help me keep doing what I need to do to get my kids back."
But the AAA does more than just provide support and understanding, says Lopez, who has been sober since June 28, 2006, and has regained custody of her children. A key part of recovery — the bedrock, really — is to give back in some way, and so a major focus of the group is service to others. Recently the women of the group sponsored a "beauty shop night" at the home and provided professional haircuts to 50 of the residents, to increase their self-esteem. Lopez explains that low self-esteem is part of part and parcel to alcohol and drug addiction.
"In drug addiction, your self-esteem is nonexistent," she says. "There are things you do for drugs and behaviors you’re not proud of, especially losing your children. What kind of person loses their child?"
The AAA group plans to host a mother-daughter luncheon on Mother’s Day this year, to "break the cycle" of drug addiction, says Lopez.
And they recently "adopted" Buena Vida Health Services, a nursing home, to bring a ray slice of light into residents’ lives. The first project is to offer haircuts to the elderly residents. The women will also plant a garden at the home. They are looking for donations of plants and garden materials.
"When you’re channeling your energy somewhere else, God lifts the obsession" to drink and do drugs, explains Lopez.
The group, which has filed for formal non-profit status, is open to any female recovering alcoholic or addict, not just Alpha Home grads. Lopez says news of AAA is spreading and she is frequently asked to speak about her experiences. The upcoming year holds much promise as the group expands and seeks to help others, she says.
It plans, for one, to collaborate with Trinity Baptist in such areas as providing housing and furniture to graduates. Plans are in the works to partner with Trinity Baptist to obtain property for a "sober-living facility" for women after they leave treatment, so they don’t have to return to environments that trigger their drug and alcohol use. Trinity is also helping the group build its own Web site.
"My purpose now is just to shout from the rooftops about what God and Alpha Home has done for me," Lopez says. "They saved my life. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t thank them for the miracle that happened to me here."
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