God’s natural laws lead us to His spiritual principles.



Topical Bible Study Volume 2ByLindsey CliffordTMJust Jesus Topical Bible StudyVolume 2By Lindsey CliffordCopyright 2016Published by All Answers For Life Scriptures are World English Bible All Scriptures are World English Bible unless otherwise noted from Just Jesus - His Living Words WWW. “World English Bible” is a trademark of Rainbow Missions, Inc.Permission is granted to use this name “World English Bible” only to identify faithful copies of the Public Domain translation of the Holy Bible of that name published by Rainbow Missions, Inc.The World English Bible is not copyrighted. Answers For Life Free iTunes Podcast: Facebook: Table of ContentsVision Statement and Mission Statement5Statement of Faith and Life Blessing6Welcome!7Study Prayer and Blessing10Leaders Prayer11Aspects of the Teachings of Jesus Christ *12What does Jesus have to say about…14Purpose ? ? ? ? ? ?15Anxiety? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 26? ?Eating Disorders ? ? ? 37? ? ? ? ? Marriage ? ? ? ? ? 50? ?Greatness ? 61Control ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?71 ? ? Discernment ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 81Healing ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?92 ? ? Children? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 104 Family ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 116 Letting Go? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 127 Intimacy ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 137How to Know Jesus 149Just Jesus Vision StatementTo see lives changed by following Jesus through His words and His Life example.Just Jesus Mission StatementTo share Jesus’ love as expressed in the Bible making God’s Word lovable and livable every day. Show through practical life application that the Bible contains an answer to every life problem. Sharing His Word through mutual life application means to apply God’s Word to our life, and to apply our life to His Word. Lindsey’s Mission Statement I want to live each day like a rag and squeeze every drop out of it. This is the main event. I want to joyfully live each day like I want my epitaph to read, “She was loving kind and she was wise.” I purpose to make God’s Word lovable by how I live. Lindsey’s Passion Statement Making God’s Word lovable and livable. My Statement of FaithThe Bible is the infallible inherent Word of God.I believe every word to be true.Every bit of His Word will come to pass.It contains an answer to every problem.It has mutual life application for everyday life in practical ways.Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.He is the Alpha and the Omega.I am deeply loved by Jesus.He is the Savior of the world.His love changes lives.His love changes me.I am called to live in joyful freedom.I am blessed to be a blessing.My Life Blessing ?“Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them:“The Lord bless you and keep you;?The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’?“So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”Numbers 6:23-27 NKJV.May you be blessed all the days of your life!You are holy, whole, healthy and beautiful.You are happy, prosperous, joyous and free.You are a blood-bought child of Jesus.Filled with the Spirit of God.No weapon formed against you shall prosper.For your righteousness is of the Lord.Everything you do shall prosper.You will be like a tree planted by the river.Whose roots run deep by the streams of living water.May you always be holy, whole, healthy and beautiful!May you always be happy, prosperous, joyous and free!Psalm 23:6; 1 Peter 1:16; 3 John 1; Proverbs 24:4; Ecclesiastes 3:11; Psalm 144:15; Luke 1:14; John 8:36; Romans 8:17; Revelation 12:11; Colossians 2:10; Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 1:3. Welcome!Welcome to the Just Jesus Topical Bible Study! This study was birthed out of the need for you to hear from Jesus regarding the most compelling issues you face daily. Proverbs 29:18 tells us that without vision, the people perish. When you are in a perplexing situation, don’t have clear understanding and don’t know what to do, you may lose the opportunity to bring about a healthy productive outcome. We will be tackling not only the most relevant, but also some of the toughest topics today. Our circumstances and perspectives may be different, but we find agreement in Jesus. Agreement comes from God’s Word as we follow Jesus in His wisdom. You will find peace in your heart, along with each other, as we worship, love and listen to Jesus together!We may have the ability to bring positive solutions, but all the ability in the world means nothing without biblical insight. The Bible offers the wisdom, strength and encouragement you need to live a happy, healthy, productive life. God’s Word has mutual life application: apply God’s Word to your life, and apply your life to God’s Word. Applying God’s Word to your life means integrating His Word or promise into your situation. Applying your life to God’s Word means making changes necessary to be congruent with His Word. When you believe God’s Word, you release God’s power. You are releasing the floodgates of heaven into your circumstances. My prayer is that God will give you the spiritual victory as you learn to love others generously and live in joyful freedom every day. Following Jesus’ principles offers insight into your solutions and the rest of the Bible, to give you the clarity you need to make sound decisions with wisdom to implement them. Jesus wrote the entire Bible. He is the Word. Jesus’ words open the door to the world of the Bible. There is something about reading and listening to what Jesus says that not only bring healthy resolve to complex issues, but it also deepens your relationship with your personal Savior and Lord.This is a real-life study where we address real-life problems. Nobody is perfect. There is no fooling around, and we are expecting answers straight from the throne room of Heaven. We find peace in each other by being courageous and loving enough to share what’s going on in our hearts and lives without condemnation or judgment. We are here to love each other, listen with our hearts and pick each other up. You are here to help your sister stand. Quit declaring who you’re not. Start declaring who you are. Expect miracles. This is an extraordinary Bible study that uses Bible therapy: the healing power of God’s Word. Bible therapy applies biblical principles that bring healing spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. You are extraordinary! God created you unique – like none other. When He made you, He threw the mold away. Your life has great purpose and destiny. God created you to fulfill a calling where no one else can fill your shoes. When you listen to Jesus, when you abide in Him, you are ready to live each day with a purpose that is unique to you! We’re so happy you’re here! You are loved, thought about, cared for and prayed over. We have been praying for you by name, asking God to bless you in the ways you most need, maybe unknown by anyone but you and Jesus. Expect to enjoy a wonderful study, precious fellowship with Jesus and all the beautiful women here. You will need:Bible Study workbook or online documentBibleSee for more informationThe study gatherings run 2 hours as follows:15 minutes worship55 minutes small group20 minutes commentary5 minutes closing prayer/ announcements25 minutes fellowship & personal prayer needsThe small group time will be an opportunity to dig into God’s Word and find practical mutual life application to whatever issues prevail in your life. You will have a chance to share what God is showing you and listen to other insightful ways others apply God’s Word to their lives and apply their lives to God’s Word. To best facilitate safe surroundings, we have 3 simple steps. First, do not talk about different religions or church attendance. This is about following the Lordship of Jesus Christ according to what the Bible says – not what a denomination practices or dictates. We are all together to build on common ground – Jesus! Removing religion and churches from the conversation keeps peace and everyone focused on the Word. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2. Focus on what keeps you united.Second, whatever is said in your group stays in your group. Whatever is said here, stays here. This may be the safest place for you to be. You need to make it safe for yourself and your sister. No gossip, politics, business, or dominating! Please silence your cell or step away for phone use if necessary. Keeping our thoughts safe among us allows the Holy Spirit to nurture our hearts in the ways we need most. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. As Matthew 12:34 and Psalm 32:9 say, don’t be like the horse that needs the bit! Third, refrain from sharing any personal crisis until after the study. “The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets.” 1 Corinthians 14:32. Integration of personal experience and applying it to God’s Word is important to understanding the topics being addressed. However, crisis often hits when we least expect it, so please know ministry is available after the study, with your co-leaders who are ready to listen to your needs and pray.Use these guidelines out of respect to the Holy Spirit so He can move. He is such a Gentleman. He will not override your will. “Remember that people who prophesy are in control of their spirit and can take turns.” 1 Corinthians 14:32 NLT. The Spirit is subject to the person speaking. We need to show Him the same consideration He shows us. This is what brings healing and freedom. "But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.” Malachi 4:2 NLT. I am looking forward to sharing God’s Word so you can go free with healing and joy!Study Prayer and BlessingThank You Heavenly Father, for the privilege of studying Your Word. It is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. May Your Holy Spirit, Who is my Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby, teach me all things, leading me into all truth. May He cause me to recall and bring to remembrance all that You reveal to me.Bless this study and anoint me with ears that hear and eyes that see, that I may know You intimately, love You more and understand Your good will for my life. Let me see You, hear Your words and act on them. Fill me with the knowledge of Your will with all wisdom and spiritual understanding. Thank You for the wonderful plans You have for my life, giving me a prosperous future with hope. May I learn to live it to the fullest with Your grace and help. Let me be a blessing to everyone I meet. Praise You and thank You, Lord Jesus!Inspired By: Psalm 119:105; John 14:26; Proverbs 20:12; Matthew 13:16; Acts 22:14; Colossians 1:9; Jeremiah 29:11.God’s Prophetic Blessing Upon Us??My mighty hand shall be upon you,And I shall raise you up.?You shall rise up,And you shall call Me blessed.You are My beloved.So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.?Adapted From: 1 Peter 5:6; Mark 1:31; Psalm 72:17; Solomon 2:10; John 8:36.Leaders PrayerThank You, Lord, for the privilege and honor of teaching Your Word. Because Your Word says that the entrance of Your Word brings light, I ask You, Holy Spirit, to open our eyes to see and our ears to hear. Prepare our minds to receive and our hearts to believe the Truth contained in the Bible. Holy Spirit, You were sent in Jesus’ Name to teach us all things, and bring all things to our remembrance. We know that we can turn to You at all times and receive all the wisdom we need in any given situation. Teach us Your precious and exceeding great promises, so that through them we may be partakers of Your divine nature and know Your perfect will for our lives.When two or more of us are gathered in Your Name, thank You that You have promised to be in our presence. God, You are so good to us. You are the One Who is always there for us and You answer when we call. We need You in our life each moment of every day. What a blessing it is to know that we have a heavenly Father Who loves us so much. Your Presence, Your Peace and Your Anointing are always welcome. In Your Presence, we will experience fullness of joy. As we pray and study Your Word, help each one of us to experience for ourselves the richest measure of Your divine Presence. You are happy, God! May we impart Your joy to everyone we meet. In Jesus’ name we decree this Word, and it will be established for us and the light of Your favor shall shine upon our ways. Amen.Inspired By Psalm 119:130; Isaiah 50:5; John 17:17; 14:17, 26; 2 Peter 1:4; Matthew 18:20; Hebrews 13:5; Jeremiah 33:3; Psalm 16:11; John 3:16; Job 22:28.Aspects of the Teaching of Jesus Christ *Bruce M. Metzger, former Princeton Theological Seminary’s George L. Collard Professor of New Testament, Emeritus, beautifully brings to life the way in which Jesus spoke. In his book, The New Testament, he describes in detail five unique forms of Jesus’ teaching.Picturesque SpeechJesus spoke differently from the way an Italian or a Scotsman would put things. The fact that He grew up in the Near East and spoke to Near Easterners affected both the matter and the manner of His speech. Along with His contemporaries, Jesus delighted in sharp contrasts and extreme statements – what the rhetorician calls hyperbole and exaggeration. His teaching is characterized not by grays and halftones, but by black and white.PunsFor centuries the Jews, like their surrounding Semitic neighbors, enjoyed making and hearing puns, or plays on words… few such puns in Aramaic could be reproduced in Greek. There is one, however, in the Gospel of John where it happens that the Greek word ‘pneuma’, just as the Aramaic ‘ruha’, means both “wind” and “spirit.” Jesus is quoted as saying to Nicodemus, “the ‘pneuma’ blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the ‘pneuma.’” John 3:8Proverbs Every language has pithy sayings or maxims that express a truth crisply and forcefully. Since these brief salty sayings stress one side of a truth, they should not be exalted as maxims of inflexible conduct. Jesus’ proverb-like statement, “Do not resist an evil-doer” (Matt. 5:39), must not be taken to mean that His disciples are never to resist evil in any kind of way. In other words, Jesus’ statement regarding nonresistance has to do with the motive and manner of the resistance. Truth will always resist falsehood, but it will resist by its own pure and truthful ways. It will resist by being itself. ** Bruce M. Metzger. The New Testament: Its Background, Growth, & Content. Nashville. Abingdon Press. 2003. PoetryHebrew poetry… is characterized by a parallelism of members. Rhythm is achieved… by putting statements side by side that either echo one another or are antithetic. Antithetic parallelism is illustrated by Mark 8:35:Those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. ParablesAn analysis of Jesus’ parables reveals that most of them are intended either (a) to portray a type of human character or disposition for our warning or example, or (b) to reveal a principle of God’s government of the world and humankind. Brief Summary of the Teaching of Jesus ChristEven a casual acquaintance with the Gospels reveals that Jesus was more of what we would call a preacher than a teacher. Instead of giving a lecture in which He defined the terms, surveyed the data, and then drew generalizations, His method was to deal with specific situations. In this respect, Jesus stood characteristically in the tradition of the Old Testament prophets. Instead of being abstract and speculative, His teaching was concrete and in terms of personal involvement. * * Bruce M. Metzger. The New Testament: Its Background, Growth, & Content. Nashville. Abingdon Press. 2003. What does Jesus have to say about…Have you ever been stuck in a situation that seems beyond your control? You can’t wrap your mind around a solution, no one seems to understand or be able to offer the right answer, clarity’s not coming or the problem isn’t going away and there’s no end in sight. At times we all feel perplexed, confused, hurt or lonely. How did Jesus know what to do and where to go? He listened to His Father and did what His Father said. Instead of fixing His eyes on the problem, He focused on God, Who gave Him the solutions. God offers the principles that lead to successful solutions with healthy outcomes. Jesus is the Word. He wrote the entire Bible. Reading and listening to what He said while He was on the earth cultivates a personal relationship with Him.Learn how to bring about wonderful, positive results in your life by learning to focus on Jesus, using the same principles He did to live the most amazing life anyone on earth ever has. Follow in His footsteps by listening to Him speak to your heart through His Word. Let Jesus reveal Himself to you. He holds the answers to all your problems.Jesus had a lot to say about the biggest, most pertinent, heartfelt challenges we all face every day. No matter how despondent or lonely you feel, you are not alone. He is always with you. He will give you the help you need in any situation. He wants to share with you the answers you need to live a healthy, productive, happy life. He identifies with you because He’s been there. Jesus wrote the entire Bible. He is the Word. While on earth, what He said was loaded with meaning on many levels. His words are collected in “Just Jesus” so that He may speak to your heart right now. He will communicate to you in a way that He doesn’t express to anyone else, because He speaks intimately from His heart to yours. See personal promises to you offer amazing, constructive, often out-of-the-box solutions regarding your most perplexing problems. Sometimes a simple solution can be the answer to the most complex life issue. As you listen to His words, ask Him, “Jesus, what are You telling me here?” His words are Spirit and they are Life. He will give you ears to hear! What is Jesus telling you about… Purpose“Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” ~ “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. A second likewise is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ~ “Come after me, and I will make you into fishers for men.” ~ “A certain man made a great supper, and he invited many people. He sent out his servant at supper time to tell those who were invited, ‘Come, for everything is ready now.’ They all as one began to make excuses. “The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please have me excused.’ ~ “Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go try them out. Please have me excused.’ ~ “Another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I can’t come.’ ~ “That servant came, and told his lord these things. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor, maimed, blind, and lame.’ ~ “The servant said, ‘Lord, it is done as you commanded, and there is still room.’ ~ “The lord said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you that none of those men who were invited will taste of my supper.’” ~ “Most certainly I tell you, there is no one who has left house, or wife, or brothers, or parents, or children, for the Kingdom of God’s sake, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the world to come, eternal life.” ~ “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer, for I tell you, I will no longer by any means eat of it until it is fulfilled in the Kingdom of God.” ~ “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will not be hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But I told you that you have seen me, and yet you don’t believe. All those whom the Father gives me will come to me. He who comes to me I will in no way throw out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. This is the will of my Father who sent me, that of all he has given to me I should lose nothing, but should raise him up at the last day. This is the will of the one who sent me, that everyone who sees the Son, and believes in him, should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.” ~ “If a man loves me, he will keep my word. My Father will love him, and we will come to him, and make our home with him.” ~ “Go your way, for he is my chosen vessel to bear my name before the nations and kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for my name’s sake.” ~ “Follow me.”Matt 4:17; 22:37-39 Mark 1:17 Luke 14: 16-18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23-24; 18:29-30; 22:15-16 John 6:35-40; 14:23 Acts 9:15-16 John 1:43.Memory Verse“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. A second likewise is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matt 22:37-39.Realize Your PurposeYour life has great purpose. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;” Jeremiah 1:5a NIV. God created you on purpose, in His image. He created you to live on purpose. Your purpose is to love God. He has already put this in your heart. You simply have to realize it. “God has implanted eternity in us, a divinely implanted sense of purpose.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 AMP. It needs to be the premise of everything that you think and do. You can live your entire life and not know what your purpose is. Purpose is intent. It is an intention that guides your actions. For years I lived without knowing what on earth I was here for. Even after committing my life to Jesus I ‘knew’ I’d come home, but still ‘felt’ lost. I was still following my feelings rather than my faith. My emotions were dictating my faith. In the wake of this revelation, I started praying about what God wanted for my life. I put feet to my prayers, committed to church, Bible studies, Al Anon and volunteering opportunities. A picture of what Jesus’ love looked like became clear. I began to realize my purpose. My purpose was and still is – to love Jesus. “Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,” Jesus said in Matthew 4:17. Repent is changing your mind, going a different direction. Putting your faith first establishes the Kingdom of Heaven in your heart.Purpose is intention, determination or resolution. Determine to put your faith first before your feelings. Learning to let my feelings follow my faith was life defining. “Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking…” 1 Corinthians 13:5 AMPC. Feelings are meant to indicate, not dictate. Doing what you feel like doing is exactly that. Feelings are not your friend when they dictate. According to world renowned apologist Ravi Zacharias, “…people float from feeling to feeling and that’s why they veer off in the wrong direction…”* Nothing sends me off course faster than doing what my feelings are saying rather than listening to my faith. You listen to your faith when you pick up your Bible, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what He wants to reveal, and then act upon it. You are learning to put your faith first and build upon it. Feelings are important. They are indicators that something is up. When you let them dictate rather than indicate then you get into trouble. Purpose or determine to put your faith before your feelings. * you have to step out in faith regardless of how you feel. Jesus promised to change your heart and bring you clarity. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. ?When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.” John 15:9-10 NLT. When I stepped out in faith, I began to see my purpose in life was to live in His love no matter what it looked like. It was the intent behind every decision. I learned to live in love by following God’s Word. Love did not come naturally for me. It’s fun doing what I want when I want. But after a while being alone with me, myself and I felt lonely. Jesus understands our nature as He expressed in His parable in Luke 14. A certain man who was a lord, planned a huge party and invited a lot of people. Instead of jumping at the chance of a wonderful time of celebration, food, drink, and friends, excuse after excuse was made. This man had purposed in his heart that his party was taking place and had no intention of changing his mind. God has purposed in His heart to invite you to celebrate life with Him, but if you want to do things your way instead and make excuses, you will miss the party! Change came supernaturally for me by the power of the Holy Spirit. I had to want it, stop making excuses and accept my brokenness. The Lord beckoned the servant to bring in the poor, maimed, blind and lame. This is me! Thank God He goes out into the highways and hedges looking for you in your brokenness and not your haughtiness. We love out of obedience but we also obey out of love. One doesn’t necessarily follow the other. “If you love me, obey my commandments. ?And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. ?He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.” John 14:15-17 NLT.Difference Between Purpose, Destiny, Meaning and GoalsDiscerning the difference between destiny, purpose, meaning and goals helps you to understand your purpose. These four integral components build the foundation of a healthy life lived on purpose. Destiny = God Fate Once you accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord, Heaven is your destiny. Purpose = Intent God wants you to wake up each day with the desire in your heart to see the meaning it holds for you and others while living this day to the fullest no matter what happens.Meaning = MessageGod speaks to you through your circumstances throughout the day, every day. What is He saying to you?Goal = TargetIt is the place where a project is finished or trip is ended. Goals may change and have different meanings, but your purpose stays constant. ** Clifford, Lindsey. Barnett, Joy. Make a Difference Mentoring Woman to Woman. World Publishing. Nashville, TN. 2006. 95.Goals and purpose are not the same. A goal is the place at which a race or trip ends. Purpose is resolution or intention. Your goal may be to complete a project like this Bible study. However, your purpose may be to know God better. Whatever the goal is, it will always be based on purpose because purpose is the premise or underlying reason for the goal. Purpose and destiny are different, too. Destiny is a pre-determined course of events. While purpose implies intention or determination, destiny implies God fate. Did you know that before you were born, God knew you and set you apart as His chosen instrument? “Before I formed you in the belly, I knew you. Before you came forth out of the womb, I sanctified you.” Jeremiah 1:5. Often, you find someone in your life whom you know in your heart you were meant to meet. Or you are in a place where you know you are meant to be. You know in your heart God’s hand is in it. Every moment has a purpose. Stop, seek and pray. What is God’s purpose for you in this moment?Meaning is what is meant, interpreted or understood as an intended or expressed message, while purpose is an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. Your meaning for living is Jesus. What is He showing you? What is His message to you? What is the purpose behind His message to you? Are you listening with your heart? Your goal is to complete what He gives you. Your commitment to follow Jesus means your destiny is Heaven. The message is the what. Purpose is the why. Goal is the target. Destiny is your God fate.My purpose in doing this study is to be faithful to God’s calling on my life. I know He’s called me to share how His Word is lovable and livable. The meaning of this study is to make God’s Word lovable and livable. The goal of this study is to cultivate your relationship with Jesus. This study is destined to bring us all into closer relationship with Jesus. Living out your purpose always brings you closer to Jesus. Whether you love out of obedience or obey out of love, Jesus will establish His purpose in you. ?“Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” John 14:21 NLT. Step out in faith in Jesus’ Love! Only believe. “All those whom the Father gives me will come to me. He who comes to me I will in no way throw out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” John 6:37-38.Live on Purpose, Purpose to LiveI try to live each day on purpose, but also purpose to live. Each day I make a conscious decision to live intentionally knowing that God has a wonderful plan for my life today. Then I also purpose to live seeing what God has for me in every situation. Where and how does He want you to love? How can you hold on to the mind of Christ in every situation? Purpose is not just a noun. It is a verb. King Nebuchadnezzar had besieged Jerusalem and requested that some of the young men of Judah’s royal family be brought to court. “Select only strong, healthy, and good-looking young men,” he said. He was pretty smart! He chose the best of the best to train them for his royal service. But Daniel one of the chosen preferred his own diet. “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.” Daniel 1:8 NKJV. The root Hebrew word for purpose here is the verb sum (soom) or sim (seem). The literal meaning is to set, establish, erect or plant. The basic meaning is to set something somewhere. Daniel set his love with God. His love for God determined his steps. He resolved to do all for Him. Don’t let other people fuel negative or fearful thoughts. Thoughts become habits. Habits become spirits. Spirits become strongholds. Overcome negativity or fear by speaking out loud God’s Word.Your main purpose in life is to love God and love other people. When you purpose to love, you strengthen your proactive stance. Your relationship with others is the barometer of your relationship with God. When I am in an unresolved argument with Michael, I feel miserable and open ended. I love pointing my finger and playing the blame game, but there is usually something in me that needs to be worked out. Once I start taking personal responsibility for my inventory instead of his, not only does healing start to take place in my marriage, but I get right with God. “Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” 1 John 3;18 NLT. Your heart is Christ’s home. Your relationships with others are a direct reflection of your relationship with God. Good friendships, a strong marriage, healthy ties with your children, workplace, church and other areas indicate you’re good with God. Friendships with constant issues, lukewarm marriage, struggling ties with your kids and other areas in your life are telling you that something’s off between you and God. What are the issues that are tripping you up? What don’t you want to see about yourself? The truth sets me free, but it may make me miserable at first. God always invites you to celebrate, but sometimes the excuse sounds better than the celebration. If you want to go to a pity party, you’ll be by yourself and it’s not much fun. What are you hiding behind? Where aren’t you letting Jesus in? He wants to be in your heart. He wants your heart to be with Him.In “A Year With C.S. Lewis,” he wrote the following: Imagine Being Who You Really AreTo become new men means losing what we now call ‘ourselves’. Out of our selves, into Christ, we must go. His will is to become ours and we are to think His thoughts, to ‘have the mind of Christ’ as the Bible says. And if Christ is one, and if He is thus to be ‘in’ us all, shall we not be exactly the same? It certainly sounds like it; but in fact it is not so. It is difficult here to get a good illustration; because, of course, no other two things are related to each other just as the Creator is related to one of his creatures. But I will try two very imperfect illustrations, which may give a hint of the truth. Imagine a lot of people who have always lived in the dark. You come and try to describe to them what light is like. You might tell them that if they come into the light that same light would fall on them all and they would all reflect it and thus become what we call visible. Is it not quite possible that they would imagine that, since they were all receiving the same light, and all reacting to it in the same way (i.e. all reflecting it), they would all look alike? Whereas you and I know that the light will in fact bring out, or show up, how different they are. Or again, suppose a person who knew particular strong, sharp taste. You then tell him that in your country people use salt in all their cookery. Might he not reply ‘In that case I suppose all your dishes taste exactly the same: because the taste of that stuff you have given me is so strong that it will kill the taste of everything else.” But you and I know that the real effect of salt is exactly the opposite. So far from killing the taste of the egg and the tripe and the cabbage, it actually brings it out. They do not show their real taste till you have added the salt. – from Mere ChristianityLewis, C.S. A Year with C.S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works. HarperOne. New York, NY. 2003. 148.The same purpose you and I share will manifest itself uniquely because God made us differently unique. We will think, act and love differently. But the same Love in each one of us purposefully brings out the best in us in creative ways we never thought possible. He does this by His Spirit:“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 5?There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. 6?God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. 7?A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 8?To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.9?The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. 10?He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. 11?It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.12?The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-12 NLT.Wired For LoveYou are wired for love. God designed you to be filled with Him. You are meant to do the will of the Father. You are meant to love. Jesus came to do the will of the Father. “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” John 6:38. His will for you is to utterly abandon yourself to His Love. Ravi Zacharias said, “If you can find the wonder of knowing God, you will find out what a marvelous thing it is to live for Him and live in His Name”* You do this by loving Him with everything you’ve got and loving others the say way. This is your purpose. The more you live out your purpose the less you’ll realize you’re even doing it. Because you’re walking right into it. Dr. Zacharias shared how it is not uncommon in Cambridge today for even world famous theoretical physicist and self-proclaimed atheist Stephen Hawking to be seen at an evangelical church. Hawking’s response? “Maybe I’m on a spiritual pilgrimage. What else can I say now?”* You live out your purpose every day by living in it. I make an effort to live life on purpose every day and so can you. Love God, worship Him, and serve others with what He’s given you. Your life was purchased at a great price. Jesus laid down His life for you. Will you seek to live on purpose each day? * “My Utmost For His Highest,” Oswald Chambers saw his purpose taken up into God’s purpose: The greatest thing for us to remember is that we go up to Jerusalem to fulfill God’s purpose, not our own. In the natural life our ambitions are our own, but in the Christian life we have no goals of our own. We talk so much today about our decisions for Christ, our determination to be Christians, and our decisions for this and that, but in the New Testament the only aspect that is brought out is the compelling purpose of God. “You did not choose Me, but I chose you…” John 15:16.We are not taken into a conscious agreement with God’s purpose— we are taken into God’s purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God’s goal may be; as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague. God’s aim appears to have missed the mark, because we are too nearsighted to see the target at which He is aiming. At the beginning of the Christian life, we have our own ideas as to what God’s purpose is. We say, “God means for me to go over there,” and, “God has called me to do this special work.” We do what we think is right, and yet the compelling purpose of God remains upon us. The work we do is of no account when compared with the compelling purpose of God. It is simply the scaffolding surrounding His work and His plan. “He took the twelve aside…” Luke 18:31. God takes us aside all the time. We have not yet understood all there is to know of the compelling purpose of God.Chambers, Oswald. My Utmost For His Highest Daily Devotionals. Oswald Chambers Publications Association, Ltd. Barbour Publishing. Uhrichsville, OH. 1992. August 3.God has purposed in His heart to invite you to celebrate life with Him. How do we relate to each other’s purpose when brought together? As the Body of Christ, we need to support each other according to the purpose He has for us individually and corporately. “Go your way, for he is my chosen vessel to bear my name before the nations and kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for my name’s sake.” ~ “Follow me.” Acts 9:15-16; John 1:43. God has purposed in His heart to invite you to celebrate life with Him, but if you want to do things your way instead and make excuses, you will miss the party! Follow Him. You are so wonderful and amazing. You look good to God. He adores beautiful you! Purpose Prayer God, thank You for implanting eternity in me, a divine sense of purpose. I want to love You with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind.’ I want to love my neighbor as myself.’ I know this is the desire of Your heart. You designed me to love. Breathe Your purpose into my soul that I may live intentionally every day. Show me how to love every person You put in my path each day. I want to bring You joy by agreeing wholeheartedly with others, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Give me an unselfish heart that I may not try to impress others. I will be humble, thinking of others as better than myself. Help me look out not only for my own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Jesus, I purpose to follow You on purpose.Inspired By Ecclesiastes 3:11; Matthew 22:37-39; Philippians 2:2-4: John 1:43.Read Philippians 3:7-11. What is your purpose in verse 10? How does this section give you perspective on your life? How does God view your purpose in Romans 8:28-29? Go to to read the Amplified translation.Read Genesis 2:8. God put the man whom He had formed in the Garden of Eden. The word “put” is the root Hebrew word for purpose: the verb sum (soom) or sim (seem). As we read earlier it means to set, establish, erect or plant. The basic meaning is to set something somewhere. God literally purposed that you be here. He literally placed you where you are today. What does this tell you about how God feels about you? What does this mean to you? How does this change how you see yourself? Read Jeremiah 1:5. What are the four things God did – and still does for you? See also Psalm 139:13-16.Describe how purpose can be used for evil as well as good. See Acts 27:42-44 in the Amplified Classic translation on . See also Genesis 50:20; Proverbs 19:21; 1 John 1:9AMPC.Living intentionally with love in your heart - to purpose, determine or resolve to love is so important because it fuels God’s love in your life. Read Ephesians 3:16-20 from your Bible or AMPC on . Share how this applies to your life.Write out your mission statement. A mission statement states your reason for living. It describes what you do and what your intentions are. It is a purpose statement that reveals something sacred about who you are in Christ. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for revelation. Not always, but usually the first thing that comes to mind is the answer. Make it simple and brief in one or two sentences. Anxiety“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can’t serve both God and Mammon. Therefore, I tell you, don’t be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don’t sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you of much more value than they? ~ “Which of you, by being anxious, can add one moment to his lifespan? Why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They don’t toil, neither do they spin, yet I tell you that even Solomon in all his glory was not dressed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today exists, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, won’t he much more clothe you, you of little faith? ~ “Therefore don’t be anxious, saying, ‘What will we eat?’, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘With what will we be clothed?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don’t be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day’s own evil is sufficient. ~ “What do you want me to do for you?” ~ “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.” ~ “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.” Matt 6:24-26; 27-30; 31-34 Mark 10:36 Luke 10:41-42 John 14:27.Memory Verse“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.” John 14:27.One Over The OtherJesus said you can’t serve God and money, therefore don’t be anxious. He connects money with anxiety because putting money in the place of God fuels anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with money. It’s the love of money that trips us. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some have been led astray from the faith in their greed, and have pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” 1 Timothy 6:10. Jesus isn’t saying it’s one or the other. He is saying it’s one over the other. Love for God needs to preside over everything especially money. E. Stanley Jones said, “The Christian faith accepts the material – and dedicates it. There are passages that seem to say the opposite: “’You cannot serve God and mammon.” Luke 16:13. True. But it doesn’t say, ‘You cannot serve God with mammon.’ If money is dedicated to God along with the soul, then this money is just as sacred as the soul. When Jesus said to the rich young ruler: ‘Go, sell what you possess; … and come, follow me.’ what he lacked was not poverty, but following Jesus, and the riches stood in the way of that following. If he had followed Jesus with his riches in his hands ready to give to human need as it arose, he could have followed Jesus.* What you dedicate to Jesus will not desecrate you. What is your heart’s intention with the things you have? * Jones, E. Stanley. The Word Became Flesh. Abingdon Press. Nashville, TN. 2006. 54.Worship God. Work for money. Even then, work as unto the Lord. You need money to live – not to worship. “There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.” Ecclesiastes 2:24 KJV. God wants us to enjoy our work. But when you work for the sake of worldly comfort alone in your strength, you fall short of God’s best for your life. You can’t love God and the world at the same time. Money is only a means to an end. Look at what Solomon who had everything said in this Scripture, “that we should make our soul enjoy good in our labor…” Wisdom showed Solomon that money can’t buy you “happy.” It’s up to you with God’s hand of help to enjoy your work and your life. Abraham Lincoln said that most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. Are you making up your mind to be happy no matter what your circumstances are? Happiness is a “soul condition” - not a result of any circumstantial gain. God is going to provide you with everything you need. Be happy! God is happy! The Concordant Bible translation in 1 Timothy 6:15 says that God is the happy Potentate. He is happy all-powerful God! He wants you to enjoy living. Faith in God is God’s best for you. Faith in the world will leave you wanting. Have you dedicated your money to the Lord? Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines anxiety as a painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill. It is a fearful concern or interest. It is also an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear, often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it.* While fear is more of an acute, imminent sense of dread, anxiety is a more permanent state of worry. You might be afraid to do something but once you go through with it, the fear leaves. It’s probably safe to say “worrywarts” have anxiety. I was a worrywart most of my life. When I was in the eighth grade, my Algebra teacher nicknamed me “Anxious”. He was good-natured and read his students well. Whenever he asked a question and I had the answer, my pulse increased, my tension mounted and I would raise my hand high, wiggling in my seat so frantically that I practically fell out of it. Whatever it took, he needed to see me! He didn’t always pick me but he sure did nail my personality. What I didn’t understand then was that my anxiety stemmed from growing up in an alcoholic family system where having all the right answers and being the best meant my life would be more bearable. My need to be recognized was so intense it hurt. I felt so unworthy. Fear slowly morphed into an underlying anxiety that literally ruled my life.* you have to drill down into the issue before getting to the root problem. Often a problem in your life is not the root, but a symptom of the root. I had to see that anxiety is a symptom. The original 1828 Webster’s dictionary defines anxiety as follows: concern or solicitude respecting some event, future or uncertain, which disturbs the mind, and keeps it in a state of painful uneasiness. It expresses more than uneasiness or disturbance, and even more than trouble or solicitude. It usually springs from fear or serious apprehension of evil, and involves a suspense respecting an event, and often, a perplexity of mind, to know how to shape our conduct. * The Latin term “ango” or anger is also implied in the definition. This anger means to strangle, press, squeeze, or make narrow. ** * ** Behind my anxiety was anger. I resented all of my responsibility as a child. It felt like I wasn’t allowed to be a child. But as I drilled down, behind my anger was a lot of hurt and pain. And behind my pain was the fear that I was unworthy and never good enough. Looking honestly at myself and giving it to God opened the door for God to replace all that anxiety with His peace, love and hope. I can still worry if I want to, but it feels much better to rest in God’s great seat of comfort. Let Jesus replace your anxiety with His peace.Quicksand of UnbeliefAnxiety submits to Jesus’ peace. Jesus knows each day has enough to deal with. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34 NLT. Anxiety creates a quicksand of unbelief. As a teen, when I would come home late, my mom would greet me as if she couldn’t believe I was alive. “I had you dead and buried!” she’d exclaim. “Where were you?!” While I was out having fun, she was busy worrying, producing a cataclysmic movie in her anxious mind. She did this with all her kids. Poor mom! There were no such things as cell phones to put her mind at ease, so worrying often robbed her of peace. It’s up to you to submit your anxiety to Jesus’ peace. Anxiety develops from feeding your fear, thinking about your fear and not giving it to God. It’s ok to think, but what are you thinking about? What are you feeding in your mind? Whatever you dwell on or obsess over, becomes your higher power. It becomes your god. And what you feed grows. In Psalm 139:23, David prayed to God, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” The Aramaic translation reads, “… test me and know my concerns.” We often think of someone who is concerned as loving and caring, but concern is often a smokescreen for plain old worry. The Hebrew meaning of thought here is “Saraph,” meaning cogitation or meditation. Saraph occurs only twice in the Old Testament - here and in Psalm 94:19. In both cases, David is meditating on a longstanding fear that has mildewed into anxiety. Although he can’t stop speculating, he finally decides to give it to God. Once he gives it to God, he asks for understanding and the way out. Other Bible translations express what’s going on inside David’s mind in Psalm 94: when anxiety was great within him, when doubts filled his mind, when the cares of his heart were many, when his anxious inner thoughts became overwhelming, in the multitude of sorrows in his heart… does any of this sound familiar? Every day doubt, cares, concerns, and overwhelming sorrow could easily tempt anyone to jump into the quicksand of unbelief. The greatest protection against this danger is a sober mind that is quick to replace the temptation with God’s Word. “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7 AMPC. Hold on to what God gives you.Your Word Changes Your WorldIf we knew how powerful and effective our words were, we would hesitate more often before speaking. It’s not just that your words contain power. Your words create power. “And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power.” Hebrews 1:3 NASB. God has given you authority to literally create power through your words. When you speak, He breathes life into your words creating power. God spoke and the world was formed. What you speak about your life, you speak into your life. What are you saying about yourself? Speak about yourself with love and respect.A friend sent this article by an unknown author: “When I was a reporter, I got to ride around with the Rev. Billy Graham on one of his great revival tours. He was a wondrous preacher, a spell-binding speaker. I liked him very much, as different as we were, we talked for hours,?and one hot summer night in North Carolina, riding in his limousine together, I complained about the price of gas. He told the driver to pull over and he gave me quite a sermon:? he told me to never speak poorly of my life.“Son, never complain about the price of things, or bad fortune, or the weather or taxes, he said. Never speak poorly of your work or your skills. When you speak poorly of your life, he said, it is listening, and it will become what you say it is, your complaints and sourness and laments will become who you are and how you see the world. And how people see you. Faith, he said, a spiritual life, is the opposite of that, whatever?your faith is. It is about hope and affirmation, acceptance and love.” * * What you speak creates the world around you. God intended you to have this authority to create heaven on earth. He wants His Kingdom established on earth through you. God wants you to replace your anxiety with His peace. The issues you face in life make you an overcomer. You need to be proactive and claim the land God gives you. Anxiety robbed me of peace of mind, hurt my relationships, took my health, and blocked my relationship with God. Speaking God’s Word over my life and watching Him form my new world was the most proactive stance I ever took. God spoke and the world was formed. “The LORD merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born.” Psalm 33:6 NLT. I learned to stop living in the anxiety that had bound my soul for so many years. He restored my peace of mind, my health and wonderful relationships. Jesus is in the healing and deliverance business and He restores what the devil tries to take. Be proactive and hold on to what Jesus gives you. You lose what you don’t take responsibility for.When your spirit lines up with God’s Word, His life literally changes your world. I used to be embarrassed reciting Scripture promises out loud. It was ok to think Bible verses in my mind. It was even ok to whisper them. But it wasn’t until I was in the vortex of the perfect storm battling in major spiritual warfare, desperate for a breakthrough that I declared without shame and loudly, “REVELATION 12:11 SAYS THAT I OVERCOME BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND THE WORD OF MY TESTIMONY!!! AND I WILL NOT LOVE MY LIFE EVEN UNTO DEATH!!!!!!!” Can you hear it as loud as I said it? That loud declaration felt so good that it began a life habit. God also gave me my much-needed breakthrough. Not that loud makes a difference, but it suggests dominance over deathly thoughts. Usually the louder I say God’s promise the better I feel. Your words are literally creating the breakthrough you need to break down strongholds. When you speak God’s Word, you create Holy Spirit power to change your world. It is Holy Spirit power that establishes His kingdom and sets you free to live in peace. “The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.” John 6:63 NLT. Pray and ask God for a Scripture from the Bible to replace your anxiety on whatever issue in your life is causing it. Speak God’s Word out loud and tell that spirit of anxiety it is no longer allowed to torment you. Jesus will change your world. You are so precious and cherished. Jesus loves you so much! “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Pet 5:7 NIV. Positive. Powerful. Proactive.Replacing anxiety with God’s peace makes you feel strong and confident. However, you need to stand fast and hold your ground. The only way to stay positive powerful and proactive is to never let the tiniest negativity have any ground. Give the devil a foothold and he’ll make it a stronghold. If you don’t do anything he will make it a stranglehold. “A little yeast grows through the whole lump.” Galatians 5:9. Don’t let the devil choke the life out of your blessings. Never let the littlest offense stir up your conscience and without a fight.There is no victory without a battle first. In businessman Ben Horowitz’ book, “The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers” he says, “Sometimes there are no silver bullets for the answer to the problem. There is no other way out. No window, no hole, no escape hatch, no back door. I have to go through the front door and deal with the big ugly guy blocking it. Lead bullets…. There comes a time in every person’s life where you must fight for your life. If you find yourself running when you should be fighting, you need to ask yourself, “If my business isn’t good enough to win, then does it need to exist at all?” “All the mental energy you use to elaborate your misery would be far better used trying to find the one seemingly impossible way out of your current mess. Spend zero time on what you could have done, and devote all of your time on what you might do. Because in the end, nobody cares; just run your business.”* This worldly business view contains some powerful profound principles. Learn not to compare your insides with someone else’s outsides. The world might not care, but God cares. Don’t worry about what other people think. What does God want you to think and do?Only God sees and knows the whole picture. No one else can carry your cross. God cares for you in ways no one else is able to because He knows everything, He is everywhere and He is all-powerful. He Alone is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. This is why God gives you His armor to stand your ground. “Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].” Ephesians 6:13 AMPC.* Horowitz, Ben. The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business Where There Are No Easy Answers. 2014. HarperCollins Publishers. New York, NY. Anxiety will prevent you from standing your ground. Sometimes you may feel scared, little and unworthy to own your own space. You may even allow other people’s issues to matter more. Living in an attitude of worship enables you to live in peace and stand the ground God gives you. He creates new mental real estate that is beautiful, green and abundant with life. Feel confident knowing God creates your territory and gives you ground to stand upon. He inhabits the praises of His people. He is with you when you worship Him. “But you are holy, you who inhabit the praises of Israel.” Psalm 22:3 WEB. Let Jesus uproot the toxicity and return you to your own inheritance of peace where you will feel safe and secure. “But after I uproot them, I will again have compassion and will bring each of them back to their own inheritance and their own country.” Jeremiah 12:15. Peace naturally follows living in an attitude of worship. Are you living in peace? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those areas in your mind where He wants to reclaim or give to you. Pastor, prophetic author and teacher Kris Vallotton was once so tormented by anxiety he could hardly function. He became powerful, positive and proactive. The following is part of his mission statement: “Yet I refuse to be crushed by the circumstances of life, or be deterred by the opinions of the "experts". I won't wallow in self-pity, or waste my days hating the people who abused me. I reject the spirit of regret, and I will not drive my life by being fixated on the rearview mirror of the past. I have decided that feeling sorry for myself is taking up valuable time that could be used to rescue cities. My past pain will not dictate my future victories. I was born to win, equipped to shape history, empowered to extend the borders of the Kingdom, and redeemed to display the unreasonable love of my King to a desperate and lost world. This mandate has become my mission, and with the help of God, I intend to accomplish it!”* Rest assured knowing that God is covering your back supporting you every step of the way. “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.”” Isaiah 30:15 NLT. Faith is a rest, not a struggle. What will you choose now?* positive, powerful and proactive. Be purposeful. Fight the good fight of Faith. Then rest comfortably in the seat of the Great I AM. “God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping… In fact, his faith grew stronger.” Rom 4:17,18,20. “Fight the good fight for the true faith.” 1 Tim 6:12 NLT. When God gives you peace, nothing can take it away. “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42. Will you choose the good part? Anxiety Prayer Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. I want to trust You with all my heart and not depend on my own understanding. As I seek Your will in all I do, You will show me which path to take. May I not worry about anything, but pray about everything, telling You what I need. I have all I need anyway because You are my need. Let me rest in green meadows. You lead me beside peaceful streams. Thank You for all You’ve done! Praise You and Bless you! Inspired By Psalm 139:23-24; Proverbs 3:5-6; Philippians 4:6 NLT; Psalm 23:1-2.Read Psalm 3:1-8. What were some of David’s anxieties that were roadblocks to his peace? How did he overcome them? Do you identify with the same? Bible therapy is so wonderful because God gives us the tools we need to rebuild the broken places and replace the broken pieces in our lives. Read Philippians 4:4-9. How does God want you living in v. 4-5 that prevents anxiety? When anxiety arises, how do you deal with it in v. 6? What is the result in v. 7? How do you hold on to your peace in v. 8-9?Hearing a police siren in a crowded city elicits a far different response from people than if it’s heard in a quiet countryside town. When you get used to conflict or turmoil it doesn’t seem so big. There is a lot of living going on around us all the time, even when we don’t see it. What does Jesus say about trouble in John 16:33? What does this mean to you? See James 1:2-4. Do you set realistic expectations in your life for trouble?Read Colossians 3:15 in the Amplified translation. See . What does peace do? Why is it so important? How do we keep it? See also Philippians 4:7.When you take care of God’s business, He takes care of yours. What does He promise you in Matthew 6:30-33?Make a list replacing the anxious areas in your life with the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.Eating Disorders“It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’” ~ “Hear, and understand. That which enters into the mouth doesn’t defile the man; but that which proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.” ~ “Do you also still not understand? Don’t you understand that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the belly, and then out of the body? But the things which proceed out of the mouth come out of the heart, and they defile the man. For out of the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual sins, thefts, false testimony, and blasphemies. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands doesn’t defile the man.” ~ “Cheer up! It is I! Don’t be afraid.” ~ “With men it is impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God.” ~ “What do you want me to do for you?” ~ “Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. But there is nothing covered up, that will not be revealed, nor hidden, that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the darkness will be heard in the light. What you have spoken in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.” ~ “Give me a drink.” ~ “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” ~ “I have food to eat that you don’t know about.” ~ “My food is to do the will of him who sent me, and to accomplish his work.” ~ “Do you want to be made well?” ~ “Arise, take up your mat, and walk.” ~ “Most certainly I tell you, you seek me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves, and were filled. Don’t work for the food which perishes, but for the food which remains to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For God the Father has sealed him.” ~ “Don’t murmur among yourselves. No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up in the last day. It is written in the prophets, ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Therefore everyone who hears from the Father, and has learned, comes to me. Not that anyone has seen the Father, except he who is from God. He has seen the Father. Most certainly, I tell you, he who believes in me has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, that anyone may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread which came down out of heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. Yes, the bread which I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” ~ “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.”Matthew 4:4; 15:10-11, 16-20 Mark 6:50; 10:27, 36 Luke 12:1-3 John 4:7, 10, 32, 34; 5:6, 8; 6:26-27, 43-51 Matthew 22:37-38.Memory Verse “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’” Matt 4:4.Eating to Live or Living to Eat?You are what you eat. This applies to our spirits and souls, too. Filling up with God’s Word and godly fellowship, keeps you spiritually healthy. Jesus loves food! He spent mealtime with His friends and disciples, celebrating fellowship together, being filled with nourishment and love. Following His example brings joy and fulfillment. After Bible study, we love eating and sharing together, gathering recipes of satisfying tasty dishes, catching up on each others’ lives, enjoying each other, and connecting in warmth and nourishment. We can’t live without eating. Jesus understood that our stomachs need to be filled with proper nutrition. But He also knew we needed to fill our spirits with proper nutrition. We will wither without proper nutrition physically, but more importantly spiritually. We have a tendency to “look the other way,” not count on Him and feed ourselves our way. “Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down out of heaven, that anyone may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread which came down out of heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. Yes, the bread which I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” John 6:49-51.God’s natural laws lead us to His spiritual principles. The Israelites ate a meal that met the need for the moment and would have to be repeated again. When I was bulimic I was so unconscious of my emotional and spiritual needs that I lived to eat. Once Jesus filled my heart and I got therapeutic help, His healing settled into my soul and the vicious bulimic cycle stopped. I stopped ingesting all the critical thoughts, which had made me so emotionally sick that I wanted to throw it all up. Ingesting Scriptures and things that God said about me, replaced toxic thoughts with healthy ones. Use your own Bible therapy – the healing power of God’s Word to replace toxic thoughts with healthy thoughts. “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood lives in me, and I in him.” John 6:56. Here, the Greek word “eat” is “trogos” meaning to crunch or chew. Chewing is essential to healthy food digestion. It aids the digestion process and boosts nutrient absorption. When you chew your food properly, your body releases digestive enzymes in the stomach that help to break down food so that your body can convert it into energy. Take time to digest God’s Word, chew on the Bible promise He gives you, understand it, look up the definition, ask your Bible friends about it, and practice mutual life application. You are releasing your spirit to convert God’s Word into Holy Spirit Energy for your life. This is your Bible therapy. He wants you feeding on the Bread of Life, ingesting His Word into your heart. He wants to replace those lying tapes in your mind with His Truth and set you free. I had to dive into what the Bible said about my problem, let go of all the scripted lies in my mind about shame, inadequacy and unworthiness. I learned to hold my head high, stand strong in self-respect and live like a royal daughter of the King. When you pray and ask, He replaces your problem with His promise. I am who God says I am! What is an Eating Disorder? The Mayo Clinic defines an eating disorder as a serious condition related to persistent eating behaviors that negatively impact your health, your emotions and your ability to function in important areas of life. Some eating disorders have physical causes so an accurate diagnosis is required to properly treat symptoms. The Clinic identifies three main eating disorders. Other disorders include Pica, Rumination and Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder. * We will be addressing the top three. Anorexia nervosa: often simply called anorexia — is a potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted perception of weight or shape. People with anorexia use extreme efforts to control their weight and shape, which often significantly interferes with their health and life activities. When you have anorexia, you excessively limit calories or use other methods to lose weight, such as excessive exercise, using laxatives or diet aids, or vomiting after eating. Efforts to reduce your weight, even when underweight, can cause severe health problems, sometimes to the point of deadly self-starvation.Bulimia nervosa: commonly called bulimia — is a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder. When you have bulimia, you have episodes of bingeing and purging that involve feeling a lack of control over your eating. Many people with bulimia also restrict their eating during the day, which often leads to more binge eating and purging.During these episodes, you typically eat a large amount of food in a short time, and then try to rid yourself of the extra calories in an unhealthy way. Because of guilt, shame and an intense fear of weight gain from overeating, you may force vomiting (purging bulimia), exercise too much, or use other methods, such as laxatives, to get rid of the calories (non purging bulimia). If you have bulimia, you're probably preoccupied with your weight and body shape, and may judge yourself severely and harshly for your self-perceived flaws. You may be at a normal weight or even a bit overweight.Binge-eating disorder: When you have binge-eating disorder, you regularly eat too much food (binge) and feel a lack of control over your eating. You may eat quickly or eat more food than intended, even when you're not hungry, and you may continue eating even long after you're uncomfortably full. After a binge, you may feel guilty, disgusted or ashamed by your behavior and the amount of food eaten. But you don't try to compensate for this behavior with excessive exercise or purging, as someone with bulimia or anorexia might. Embarrassment can lead to eating alone to hide your bingeing. A new round of bingeing usually occurs at least once a week. You may be normal weight, overweight or obese.This is a partial list of some red flags that indicate an eating disorder:? Skipping meals or making excuses for not eating ? Adopting an overly restrictive vegetarian diet ? Excessive focus on healthy eating ? Making own meals rather than eating what the family eats ? Withdrawing from normal social activities ? Persistent worry or complaining about being fat and talk of losing weight ? Frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws ? Repeatedly eating large amounts of sweets or high-fat foods ? Use of dietary supplements, laxatives or herbal products for weight loss ? Excessive exercise ** Food sustains life. It nurtures and nourishes our bodies. Using food to comfort or care for emotional needs won’t work because the needs will still be there. Control and fear lie behind every emotional eating disorder. It’s not what you eat. It’s what’s eating you. Your emotions will consume you if you don’t acknowledge them. Confess them that you may be healed. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 NIV.Filling the God VoidAlthough the labels, dynamics and treatments differ in these three, the root cause is the same. I know I was trying to fill a void that only God could fill. I was filling my stomach when I needed to fill my spirit. Eating disorders are caused by low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, feeling out of control or inadequate, stressed out or lonely. Does this sound familiar? Well, I still feel all of those things at one time or another. We live in an over controlled, over stressed world that begs for peace and well-being. Even when Jesus heals and delivers, the devil wants you to believe the lie that it won’t last, it wasn’t real or you might slip. When I put Jesus back on the throne of my life, confess to a safe friend what I am feeling, pray about it and ask God for replacement thoughts, those feelings lose their power over me. My safe friends don’t condemn me. Instead, they listen to understand, encourage and pray. Don’t let the devil rob you of the wonderful freedom Jesus has for you. Shame keeps you from filling your God void. It isolates you from His love. When shame becomes your identity, you want to hide from God. Adam was the first to identify with shame. Before the devil got into his thoughts, he had no shame. He and Eve were happy in the Garden of Eden with God. “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.” Genesis 2:25 NLT. But, the devil deceived Eve into tasting the tree of knowledge of good and evil. She shared it with Adam. “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”?Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?”“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis 3:7-13 NLT.Adam felt shame and tried to cover it with fig leaves. Jesus sees your shame and understands. The devil tries to deceive you into thinking you are unworthy, but Jesus came to set you free. In John 5:6, “When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had been sick for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to be made well?" I wanted to be well, but was shackled by shame. College was a time of tumultuous thoughts and feelings for me. I questioned the meaning of life, stopped attending church and started looking for answers to all my questions. I felt lonely and insecure not only about my place in life, but also how I appeared to myself and others. Growing up in an alcoholic family system reinforced appearance and minimized emotions. The unconscious shame in my spirit was driving me to desperation. I couldn’t control what I felt, but I could control what went into my mouth. So by the end of my freshman year, I’d gained twenty pounds. I played a lot of tennis, wearing clothes that didn’t hide much other than my torso, so my weight gain was obvious. One summer afternoon after an intense tennis match, my Dad looked into my eyes and whispered almost under his breath, “You’ve got to lose that weight.” That was the day I first threw up my food. My God void was made more difficult to fill because my earthly father relationship was so broken. Dad did his best possible, but these were generational strongholds that needed to be torn down. I am pointing to a problem and not a person. It is important to see that the problem is the problem and not the person. There had never been any emotional dialogue or intimacy between my Dad and me. I was so needy for affirmation I had never received. I didn’t even realize that I had shame, let alone feelings. The only feeling I can remember was rage – not anger. By the end of two years I was ninety-eight pounds, physically, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. I am little but this was out of control. I wasn’t just throwing up food. I was throwing up all the judgment, criticism and perceived rejection I had internalized for so many years. God brought me out of this season of deep pain when I found a college therapist, started addressing my emotions, and came to know Jesus as my Savior. Jesus filled the huge crater in my heart. I knew I had come home. It took years, but God healed and restored me along with my relationship with my Dad. There is now deep forgiveness and understanding that came from Jesus’ love. It took time and work to understand the shame that drove my life. I had to realize that all the things I was angry with I was guilty of. I grew up when I took personal responsibility for my own attitudes and actions. It was worth every bit of work, especially when Dad passed away. With no regret, the love and forgiveness in my heart is something I will carry forever.Understanding ShameShame is a painful emotion caused by the awareness of having done something wrong or foolish. It also means a respect for propriety or morality. Healthy shame says “I’ve done something wrong.” It motivates a change of understanding that elicits a change of attitude. Toxic shame is not about doing something wrong. Toxic shame says “I am wrong.” When shame becomes about the person instead of the behavior it becomes toxic. Internalized shame is toxic shame. Author and speaker John Bradshaw says, “Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction, and drive to super achieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. It limits the development of self-esteem and causes anxiety and depression, and limits our ability to be connected in relationships.” When I first heard his description on shame I cried for fifteen minutes nonstop, grieving for what was, yet relieved for new understanding. What motivates us unconsciously is much more powerful than what motivates us consciously. Once I became aware of my toxic shame it began to lose power over my life. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston?Graduate College of Social Work. She authored the book, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.” In her TED talk on shame, Brené shares how when life as she knew it ended, she had to learn a very hard lesson about herself. As frustrated as she was about not getting her work out into the public, there was a part of her that was working very hard to “engineer staying small.” She learned two important lessons. First, vulnerability is not weakness. It is our most accurate measurement of courage. The second thing she learned in the relationship between vulnerability and courage is that we have to talk about shame. Shame is the swampland of the soul… something that no one wants to talk about and that everyone wants to run from.In her words, she shares Teddy Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena quote: “It is not the critic who counts; it’s not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better, how he falls and stumbles. The credit goes to the man in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat; but when he’s in the arena at best he wins, and at worst he loses; but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly.” Brené says when you walk into the arena, shame is the gremlin that says, “You’re not good enough. You never finished your education. Your wife left you.” Shame is the accusing voice that wants to keep you from moving forward. It drives two tapes: “never good enough” and “who do you think you are?”** Body Image or God ImageYour body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Shame keeps you focused on a toxic view of yourself.? Replacing shame with the mind of Christ enables you to see yourself in God’s eyes. My eating disorder was fueled by a harsh critical view of myself. Seeing myself as a temple of the Holy Spirit motivated me to cherish my body and respect it. “Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.” 1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT. You belong to Jesus. He adores you. You have to be touched to be healed. We need to connect with each other in Christ’s unconditional love. In the United States, 1944, an experiment was conducted on forty newborn infants to determine whether individuals could thrive alone on basic physiological needs without affection. Twenty newborn infants were housed in a special facility where they had caregivers who would go in to feed them, bathe them and change their diapers, but they would do nothing else. The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary, never communicating with them. All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile, none of the babies becoming ill.The experiment was halted after four months, by which time, at least half of the babies had died at that point. At least two more died even after being rescued and brought into a more natural familial environment. There was no physiological cause for the babies' deaths; they were all physically very healthy. Before each baby died, there was a period where they would stop verbalizing and trying to engage with their caregivers, generally stop moving, nor cry or even change expression; death would follow shortly. The babies who had "given up" before being rescued, died in the same manner, even though they had been removed from the experimental conditions.The conclusion was nurturing is actually a very vital need in humans. Whilst this was taking place, in a separate facility, the second group of twenty newborn infants were raised with all their basic physiological needs provided and the addition of affection from the caregivers. This time however, the outcome was as expected, no deaths encountered. * * We all want to be loved and belong to someone. Love yourself and your friends without criticism. I need to give what I desire in my own life. Nurture yourself and your friends. Feed on God’s Word and let Him replace all harsh and isolating thoughts that shame. It takes more courage to be vulnerable. We all need to make it safe for each other to fail and get back up without holding on to unworthiness. “I’m too fat. I’m too thin. Look at my legs. Look at my arms. I’m going to get heartburn if I hold my stomach in for another minute. Oh, my face. I don’t want to get on the doctor’s scale with my shoes on. They weigh at least five pounds. Oh, I don’t even care how much I weigh anymore.”There are all sorts of stories we tell ourselves to make up for the emotional emptiness inside even as believers. You are a whole, beautiful woman made in God’s image. “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27. You are loved beyond belief, cherished by Jesus every minute, every second of every day. Shame burns the bridge, but self-acceptance builds the bridge to Jesus. Shame wants me to go run and hide. The apple Eve bit was laced with shame. Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened and they saw their nakedness. It robs us of the very vital understanding that Jesus literally shamed shame on the cross. He took your shame upon the cross, dying naked in humiliation that you might live clothed in honor. He paid the price for every eating disorder, every toxic motivator, sin or malady. “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.” Hebrews 12:2. He’s not hanging on the cross anymore. He’s healed, alive and well! You are set free. Jesus is always close by you, ready to care for you, with the question on His beautiful lips, “Do you want to be made well?”Eating Disorder Prayer Declaration I am God's child (John 1:12)I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:20)I am a member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)I am assured all things work together for good (Romans 8:28)I have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)I am confident that God will perfect the work He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6)I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)I am forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)I have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)I have hope (Ephesians 1:12)I am included (Ephesians 1:13)I am sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)I have peace (Ephesians 2:14)I have access to the Father (Ephesians 2:18)I am secure (Ephesians 2:20)I am a holy temple (Ephesians 2:21; 1 Corinthians 6:19)I am a dwelling for the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:22)I know there is a purpose for my sufferings (Ephesians 3:13)I am completed by God (Ephesians 3:19)I can bring glory to God (Ephesians 3:21)I have been called (Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)I can be kind and compassionate to others (Ephesians 4:32)I can forgive others (Ephesians 4:32)I don't have to always have my own agenda (Ephesians 5:21)I can be strong (Ephesians 6:10)I have God's power (Ephesians 6:10)I can stand firm in the day of evil (Ephesians 6:13)I am dead to sin (Romans 1:12)I am not alone (Hebrews 13:5)I am safe (I John 5:18) I am healed from sin (I Peter 2:24) What does Jesus promise you when you ask Him for help in trusting Him for sustenance? See John 6:34-36. See also Psalm 145:15-16.When Eve bit into the apple, she took the first taste of shame that separated Adam and Eve from God. They saw their nakedness and hid. How have you seen shame bind you? Read Genesis 3:1-13. Read Mark 5:25-34. What did the woman do to receive healing? What did Jesus say about what made her well? Why is this so important? See also James 2:24-26.In Luke 6:38, why is it so important to give? See Psalm 5:1-3; Isaiah 65:24. What do you need from God?What does 3 John 1:2 say about health? See also 1 Timothy 4:7-9; Proverbs 3:7-8; 14:30; Psalm 63:5; Isaiah 19:22.Read the Eating Disorder Prayer Declaration. You are made in God’s Image. Your identity is in Christ. What scriptures resonate in your heart? Write your own personal prayer declaration. Marriage“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’ but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.” ~ “It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce’ but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.” ~ “Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” ~ “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” ~ “You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like God’s angels in heaven.” ~ “For your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” ~ “The children of this age marry, and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. For they can’t die any more, for they are like the angels, and are children of God, being children of the resurrection. But that the dead are raised, even Moses showed at the bush, when he called the Lord ‘The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ Now he is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for all are alive to him.” ~ “Peace be to you.”Matthew 5:27-28, 31-32; 19:4-6, 8-9; 22:29-30 Mark 10:5-9; Luke 20:34-38 John 20:19.Memory Verse“Peace be to you.” John 20:19.True IntentionMarriage mirrors God’s love. Marriage is meant for companionship that reflects God’s love. “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”’ Genesis 2:18 NLT. God is not alone nor does He want us to be alone. Michael and I had to learn to live out the roles God designed for us. I had to stop making him my higher power and he had to learn to respect me as equal. We’ve learned to respect and appreciate each other with kindness and understanding. Being a helper is not about being less than but rather being an asset. We all have different gifts that we bring into relationship. No two marriages look alike. What’s good for one may not be good for another. What matters are not external appearances, but rather heart issues.You were made in God’s image. You weren’t meant to live alone. Even if you’re not married, God wants you to connect in good friendships and relationships. Jesus said, “You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like God’s angels in heaven.” Matthew 22:29-30. God works through the covenant of marriage to establish His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. You won’t need to be married in heaven because you will be so complete and filled with His love and companionship, you won’t ever be lonely. Earthly marriage is temporal, but heavenly marriage is eternal. Whenever I need to learn how to do something effectively, I watch the winners. I watch the people who are expert at what they do. When I was a skinny little thirteen year old trying to play tennis, I would sit on the sidelines watching the best players. When they were done playing I would ask them to volley. I learned to play well. Jesus and God are always investing in their relationship with each other by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus leads by example. He is a true Winner.You are made in God’s image. You are custom tailored for His love and power. It is a spirit of love that we are to follow. And you can’t do this without the power of God in your life. It is not about what you can get out of it, but rather what you can invest in it. When you sow seeds of life and love, you will reap a harvest of life and love. Jesus is so precious to God. Look at how God treated Jesus while He was on earth. “But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him." Matthew 17:5 NLT. God showered His Son with love, declared His satisfaction with Him and exhorted us to listen to Jesus. They have companionship because They have true intimacy. You need to shower your spouse with love, declare your satisfaction with them and listen to them. Listening feels like love. I learned to take the cotton out of my ears and stick it in my mouth. Keep quiet and listen. Lay down your own agenda. When tension mounted in my marriage, I had to learn unconditional respect at the point of conflict. I am so opinionated that surrendering would have been easier than keeping my mouth shut. I had to learn that sometimes I needed to shut up and put up. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t always right and that someone else - like my husband - might have a different perspective worth considering. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” 1 Peter 3:15 NIV. God said to be ever ready to reply with the hope that is in your heart, not ever ready to reply with your own agenda. Everyone wants to be loved and validated. Husbands do you know how much your wife needs your love and acceptance? Wives do you know how much your husbands need your respect and validation especially when they fall off their white horse? Stop comparing your inside to someone else’s outside and look at the wonderful gift God has given you!Friction’s PeaceMarriage is not for the fainthearted. My marriage has taken so many twists and turns over the past thirty-three years that it hardly looks like it did so many years ago. There have been fights, misunderstandings, anger, friction, conflict, children issues, extended family issues, disappointments, births, deaths, victories, failures, hope, heartbreak, so many ups and downs. What has remained constant is the love. The love has evolved in each one of us from self-love to agape love that enables us to live in peace with understanding even when we don’t agree. I feel like the velveteen rabbit who was cute, soft and fluffy until the ravages of life scorched his soft fluffy fur over the years until he was bald and misshapen. But he developed great understanding and love. Understanding is more important than agreement. Michael and I are very different. He is big, tall and generous. I am little, short and prudent. He doesn’t care if he has holes in his shirt, which isn’t unusual after smoking a cigar and being on the phone at the same time. I care very much about my outfits being coordinated, noticing minute details and keeping all the doors locked in the house at night before retiring for bed. It’s kind of like Smoking Santa meets the Flying Nun. We don’t always agree, but have learned to understand and celebrate each other’s differences. In his book “A World Waiting to be Born: Civility Rediscovered,” Christian psychiatrist M. Scott Peck* found in his practice only two valid reasons for marriage. “One is for the care and raising of children. When it works (which sometimes does not seem that often) we have not yet invented any institution better than the two-parent home for the care and raising of children. The only other valid reason to get married – there are lots of invalid ones – is for the friction. “When nuns and monks used to come to see me for consultation, ninety-five percent of the time the first thing they wanted to talk about was “community.” And ninety-five percent of the time what they meant by community was something like “Sister Suzie is driving me up a wall” or “I’m about to strangle Brother Thomas.” Many have the fantasy that convents and monasteries are places of great holy tranquility, where the monks and nuns go about their days in unending, prayerful peace of mind. The reality is that they are usually places of great struggle and tension and friction. “But even though it is what they most frequently complain about, community is also perhaps the primary reason that nuns and monks join monasteries and convents. They know somehow, correctly, that they need the friction of community to polish them, to refine them on their journeys of spiritual growth.“This talk of convents and monasteries is germane because a pastoral counselor once used the metaphor of “marriage as a monastery.” It is the most proper model for marriage that I know. A marriage properly should be a marriage of two people gathered together for some purpose higher than the mere pleasure of being together: namely, to enhance each other’s spiritual journeys.”Peck, M. Scott. A World Waiting to be Born: Civility Rediscovered. 1994. Bantam Books. New York, NY. PP. 105-106. There have been plenty of times I’ve felt lonely in a standoff position with Michael. Usually my place of alone is God’s best opportunity to speak to my heart. Even being right can be lonely. Sometimes I’ve had to patiently wait on God to speak to Michael’s heart, too. But as Mark Twain said, “It’s lonely out on the limb. But that’s where the fruit is.” Don’t let the devil use friction to divide you. “And ‘don't sin by letting anger control you.’ Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Ephesians 4:26 NLT. Take every issue straight to the heart of God. His answer is always in love. Some issues may not be resolved overnight, but it is no excuse not to forgive, let go and let God take care of things while you sleep. You may not always agree on everything, but understanding each other will bring peace.Healthy IntimacyJesus doesn’t want anything to separate you in your marriage. Do you see any roadblocks that separate you from your spouse? “For your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Mark 10:5-9. After thirty years of marriage, Michael and I both realized there were some areas in our relationship where we were stuck in the trenches. There was a separateness developing that felt alienating. We needed a jumpstart out of the trenches. Our friends Lori and Barry Byrne poured their lives into ours as they ministered to those broken places in our marriage. God brought so much new life into our relationship as we let go of counterproductive ways of relating to each other that had become bad habits. It feels wonderful to have our openhearted spontaneity restored. In their book, “Love After Marriage” the Byrnes share their definition of healthy intimacy: “Healthy intimacy exists in a relationship between two people who both know and are known by each other in a deep, personal way; and that deep, personal knowledge is talked about openly and is then handled with trust and respect.“So there are three main components to healthy intimacy:There must be a deep, personal knowing that goes both directions.There must be intentional talking about that deep, personal knowledge.That deep, personal knowledge that is shared must be handled with trust and respect.“Being vulnerable and allowing someone full access to your heart is probably the greatest risk you will ever take. Many people will easily and gladly take physical or financial risk before they ever risk opening up their hearts. Others will even risk being sexually intimate without being emotionally intimate. The truth is, healthy intimacy should never begin with sexual contact; it must begin with knowing. “A prerequisite to your intimacy with another person is self-knowledge and taking ownership of the truth about yourself. It is vital that you acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses. If you don’t recognize and use your strengths and good qualities, you won’t have the ability to bring these qualities into your marriage. As a result, your marriage will not be able to live within the strength of its true potential.“When you do not fully face your weaknesses and faults, you typically end up “placing” these negative attributes on your spouse. In psychology, this is known as “projection.” When you use the defense mechanism of projection in your marriage, you attribute to your spouse the negative qualities you have not personally taken responsibility for.”** Byrne, Barry & Lori. Love After Marriage: A Journey Into Deeper Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Oneness. 2012. Regal. Ventura, CA. P 100-104.My Favorite “Love After Marriage” Notes The following notes were my favorite take away thoughts in Lori and Barry Byrne’s Love After Marriage Conference. For more information, check out: Contend for each other.Focus on yourself to effect a change.You can't outdo the Lord.Marriage is the most powerful, sacred institution on earth. You take out a marriage, you take out a leader. You take out a marriage, you take out a church.?God wants the impossible to bow to relationships in marriages.Are you willing to have nothing hidden in your life?Intimacy should be the norm not the exception.People can have different standards of truth.Hiding or withholding is a form of deviating from the truth.One of the riskiest things you can do in your life is reveal your heart.The smarter you are the easier it is to keep walls up.Speak God's truth about us in love to each other.When you don't have trust you have constant insecurity.“But I don't remember what I said” is only an excuse for not taking your own words seriously.When the consequences can be negative or painful, are you willing to speak the truth in love and in faith?Are you willing to put truth in love over fear?Don't agree with doubt.Don't agree with lies or?deception.You are an overcomer.God has given you the gift of faith.Intimacy means taking risks and opening up your heart.You can't work on what you don't talk about.What you don't own for yourself you project in others.If we don't like who we are we won't invite others to be close to us.If we don't invite God into those dark?parts of us we don't like we cannot have intimacy.Ask God for help.I need you because I don't feel full or complete without you is a lie.Our bond is weakened when it's dependent upon a certain need being met. ?You must meet in strength not weakness. ?This brings intimacy.?If I don't have you I will still be ok with myself. God is healthy.?Can you allow your spouse to be who they are and still be ok?Stop making your mind your god.If you keep your secrets secret, Satan can keep you in the dark. God wants you in agreement with Him!When you start speaking to the anger in your life understanding that it is a spirit, the spirit of anger starts to lose its sense of entitlement.“If my spouse can only get the help they deserve” is a lie from the pits of hell.It's not a fault issue. ?It's a heart issue.“I'm going to have to carry this because no one else will” is a lie from hell. This lie opens the door for manipulation and control to come in. ?Then you carry the victim spirit. Then self-pity and entitlement come in.?Do not receive these familiar spirits, but see them as an intrusion. Jesus will give you discernment.Porn isn't about sex. It's about shame and?identity and emotions.Purity is an attitude of heart and mind toward the opposite sex.You can feed a spirit of seduction by simply?responding to someone else's seductive look. A look can say a thousand words.?Lust can be an ego boost that makes you feel better especially when you are in a bad space like being depressed.A?seductive spirit can make you feel like sometimes you think it's you, but it's really something coming after you. The?seductive spirit is masking the root problem of need for healthy intimate connection.?One With JesusYou are one in spirit with Jesus. Marriage represents the oneness in spirit God wants us all to have. When you accepted Jesus into your heart, you became one with Him. “But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit.” 1 Corinthians 6:17. Marriage is the physical reflection of a spiritual union. In marriage you don’t become one spirit, you become one flesh. “Don't you know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or don't you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, "The two," says he, "will become one flesh." 1 Corinthians 6:15-16. Marriage is holy in God’s eyes because it holds the highest form of intimacy while we’re on earth. As a single person you are one spirit with God. As married, you are one flesh with each other. You can’t truly be one without laying down your lives for each other. Dying to yourself, listening with your heart and honoring your husband is what makes marriage work. Over half of the things you argue about are not solvable.?? There may be belief systems that are unchangeable. ?Not having conflict is never the goal, but understanding is more important than agreement.?? What is realistic is that you love each other in the midst of a disagreement.?? I’ve learned that dying to myself means being considerate and thoughtful, listening to my husband’s needs and not just my own. He does the same. If you feed kindness it grows. You don’t even need to consummate a relationship for it to be adulterous. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’ but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28. Adultery starts in the heart. Jesus is not judging or condemning here. He is grieved about a broken relationship. He is constantly pursuing us. His heart is for reconciliation. It breaks His heart to see your heart broken. Bethel Pastoral Counselor Jason Vallotton found God’s healing redemption after working through both pornography as a teen and his ex wife’s adultery.* We live in a fallen world and the only power you have is over yourself. This is when I ask for God’s help. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Whether you are wrong or wronged, God is another chance God and will restore what is taken. You need to let Him. This is when you need Jesus the most! * is your dearest Friend. He’ll never let you down. He’ll never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you with a jealous love, not an envious love but a zealous love. God is a jealous God. He desires that we worship Him without any rivals. He is jealous for you, not of you. The Hebrew word for jealous is “qana” meaning “to be jealous, to be zealous”. In the New Testament jealous is “zelos” meaning zeal or jealousy. Jesus adores you with such a passionate love! When you really love someone passionately it feels so good when that fiery love is returned. He wants to be loved and included in every part of your life. “I hope you will put up with a little more of my foolishness. Please bear with me. For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband - Christ. But I fear that somehow your pure and undivided devotion to Christ will be corrupted, just as Eve was deceived by the cunning ways of the serpent. You happily put up with whatever anyone tells you, even if they preach a different Jesus than the one we preach, or a different kind of Spirit than the one you received, or a different kind of gospel than the one you believed.” 2 Corinthians 11:1-4 NLT. Let Jesus be Lord of your life and Lord of your marriage!Marriage Prayer Dear Lord, let us be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. May we have complete confidence in understanding Your mysterious plan, which is Christ himself, where all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge lie hidden. Please grant me love that is patient and kind, not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. May I not demand my own way or be irritable. Protect me from keeping any record of being wronged. ?Let me not rejoice about injustice but rejoice whenever the truth wins out. May Your love in me never give up, never lose faith, always be hopeful, and endure through every circumstance. May Your perfect love cast out all fear. Love through me, Lord.Inspired By Colossians 2:2-3; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; 1 John 4:18.Describe the Bride of Christ. See Isaiah 54:5; Mark 10:8; Jeremiah 31:31-34; Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelation 19:7-9. See 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. What does God say about quality of the relationships you are to have? See also Leviticus 26:12; Ezekiel 37:27. Why is this important? See also 1 Corinthians 15:33.Solomon’s passionate love for his Shulamite wife is based on a covenant love. Jesus’ love for you is a covenant love. Read Song of Solomon 7:1-9. Why is covenant love so important? See also Deuteronomy 7:9; John 3:16.Read Isaiah 65:1. What does this reveal to you about the heart of God? Read also Romans 9:24-26.Paul spoke openly to the Corinthians about marriage, divorce and celibacy. What is the Lord speaking to you in 1 Corinthians 7:1-17? Greatness“What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? But what did you go out to see? A man in soft clothing? Behold, those who wear soft clothing are in king’s houses. But why did you go out? To see a prophet? Yes, I tell you, and much more than a prophet. For this is he, of whom it is written, ‘Behold, I send my messenger before your face, who will prepare your way before you.’ Most certainly I tell you, among those who are born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptizer; yet he who is least in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he.” ~ “You know that the rulers of the nations lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. Whoever desires to be first among you shall be your bondservant, even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” ~ “What were you arguing among yourselves on the way?” ~ “If any man wants to be first, he shall be last of all, and servant of all.” ~ “You shall indeed drink the cup that I drink, and you shall be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit at my right hand and at my left hand is not mine to give, but for whom it has been prepared.” ~ “The kings of the nations lord it over them, and those who have authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so with you. But one who is the greater among you, let him become as the younger, and one who is governing, as one who serves. For who is greater, one who sits at the table, or one who serves? Isn’t it he who sits at the table? But I am in the midst of you as one who serves. But you are those who have continued with me in my trials. I confer on you a kingdom, even as my Father conferred on me, that you may eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom. You will sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” ~ “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may also glorify you; even as you gave him authority over all flesh, he will give eternal life to all whom you have given him. This is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and him whom you sent, Jesus Christ. I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do. Now, Father, glorify me with your own self with the glory which I had with you before the world existed.” Matt 11:7-11; 20:25-28 Mark 9:33, 35; 10:39-40 Luke 22:25-30 John 17:1-5.Memory Verse“If any man wants to be first, he shall be last of all, and servant of all.” Mark 9:35.There is Greatness in YouThere is greatness in you. God created you with the capacity to perceive the greatness inside your own heart. “He has planted eternity in the human heart.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT. The greatness that is in you comes from God. Michael and I happened to be in Manhattan for the New York City Dream Center opening. We were standing on a street corner when a homeless man asked him for money. Michael pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, which really bothered me since he is big, tall and generous while I am little short and prudent. Even though I didn’t have an answer in the moment, I would have preferred to give him a water bottle, protein bar and a Christian pamphlet even though I didn’t even know if he could read. I might have even given him a McDonald’s gift card if I’d had one. “Don’t drink this!” Michael firmly ordered the man. “Are you going to drink this?”“No sir!” he replied. “Oh no.” I said to myself.“Tell you what,” Michael looked into this homeless man’s eyes. “Meet me at 6 pm in front of the Dream Center opening tonight and I will buy you a bus ticket to the Dream Center in Los Angles so you can get cleaned up.” He took out his card, wrote down the address and gave it to the man. I knew that was the end of our encounter. We continued our walk.At 6 pm the man showed up. No one was more astonished than me. I couldn’t believe it. Michael smiled at him like an old friend, bought him a bus ticket to Los Angeles where this precious man began a new life. This was greatness in Michael. Through the brokenness, Michael saw the greatness in this child of God who simply needed a chance. Each person is a child of God worthy of courtesy and respect.God made you spirit, soul and body. In your spirit God has instilled a sense of greatness that you are born with. This greatness comes from Him. “Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.” 1 Chronicles 29:11 NIV. When you live out the Kingdom of God in you, you cultivate the greatness in your spirit. ** Nee, Watchman. The Release of the Spirit. 1965. Sure Foundation Publishers. Cloverdale, IN. P.6.The greatness in your spirit is not an oxymoron. Little is great in God’s eyes. When Jesus said, “Most certainly I tell you, among those who are born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptizer; yet he who is least in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he.” in Matthew 11:11, He is telling you that your greatness has nothing to do with external appearance or worldly expectation, but rather living out Kingdom principles that build your spirit and the greatness in you. Because everything God does, everything He speaks to you, everything you do and every way you serve is significant. Little is wonderful in God’s eyes. Greatness is not about size but significance in God’s eyes. Greatness Through BrokennessGod’s greatness breaks forth through your brokenness. The greatness of Watchman Nee’s ministry was birthed out of brokenness. As the door closed on three generations of freedom of worship in China, God brought forth his unprecedented global ministry before Mao Tse Tung’s regime bolted the door of freedom shut with unprecedented persecution. While the world watched and worshipped the Beatles’ rise to recognition, Watchman died in prison in 1967 leaving one of the world’s greatest legacies of Christian literature ever recorded. Read his words on youtube.* They will transform your life.* * his book, The “Release of the Spirit” Watchman Nee describes the importance of brokenness. “Anyone who serves God will discover sooner or later that the great hindrance to his work is not others but himself. He will discover that his outward man and his inward man are not in harmony, for both are tending toward opposite directions. “The Bible tells of the pure spikenard (perfume). God purposely used this term “pure” in His Word to show that it is truly spiritual. But if the alabaster box is not broken, the pure spikenard will not flow forth. Strange to say, many are still treasuring the alabaster box, thinking that its value still exceeds that of the ointment. Many think that their outward man is more precious than their inward man. This becomes the problem in the Church. One will treasure his cleverness, thinking he is quite important; another will treasure his own emotions, esteeming himself as an important person; others highly regard themselves, feeling they are better than others, their eloquence surpasses that of others, their quickness of action and exactness of judgment are superior, and so forth. However, we are not antique collectors; we are not vase admirers; we are those who desire to smell only the fragrance of the ointment. Without the breaking of the outward, the inward will not come forth. Thus individually we have no flowing out, but even the Church does not have a living way. Why then should we hold ourselves as so precious, if our outward man only contains - instead of releases the fragrance? “Brokenness is the way of blessing, the way of fragrance, the way of fruitfulness, but it is also a path sprinkled with blood. Yes, there is blood from many wounds. When we offer ourselves to the Lord to be at His service, we cannot afford to be lenient, to spare ourselves. We must allow the Lord utterly to crack our outward man, so that He may find a way for His out working.“Each of us must find out for himself what is the mind of the Lord in his life. It is a most lamentable fact that many do not know what is the mind of intention of the Lord for their lives. How much they need for the Lord to open their eyes, to see that everything which comes into their lives can be meaningful. The Lord has not wasted even one thing. To understand the Lord’s purpose, is to see very clearly that He is aiming at a single objective: the destroying or breaking of the outward man.“However, too many, even before the Lord raises a hand, are already upset. Oh, we must realize that all the experiences, troubles and trials which the Lord sends us are for our highest good. We cannot expect the Lord to give better things, for these are His best. Should one approach the Lord and pray, saying, “Oh, Lord, please let me choose the best?” I believe the Lord would tell him, “What I have given you is the best; your daily trials are for your greatest profit.” So the motive behind all the orderings of God is to destroy our outward man. Once this occurs and the spirit can come forth, we begin to be able to exercise our spirit.” ** Nee, Watchman. The Release of the Spirit. 1965. Sure Foundation Publishers. Cloverdale, IN. P. 12-13.Let Jesus translate your trials into God’s triumphs. God’s greatness breaks forth through your brokenness. “But you are those who have continued with me in my trials. I confer on you a kingdom, even as my Father conferred on me, that you may eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom. You will sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” Luke 22:28-30.UniqueYou are unique. Your uniqueness is the foundation of your greatness. Greatness paves the way for you to make a path and leave a trail. Not one of us is made like anyone else. Praise God that you are remarkably and wonderfully made in His image! “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it. ~ So God created human beings in his own image.” Psalm 139:14; Genesis 1:27 NLT. Don’t let the devil deceive you into thinking you’re “not like everyone else.” There is a big difference between being an outcast and unique. I used to feel like I never fit in. Feeling like an outcast was only a reflection of the toxic shame I felt growing up with family alcoholism. Applying God’s Word to my life along with healthy Al Anon recovery principles, I learned to see myself as unique, loved and accepted. Healthy shame says you did something wrong. Toxic shame says you are wrong. Jesus sets you free from toxic shame and the lies that go with it. You are unique, loved and accepted for who you are! You are who God says you are!In the book Make A Difference Mentoring Woman to Woman, Joy Barnett and I described our uniqueness. “Being unique is a feeling of greatness. This is not about a psychological need to be important. Being unique, or having this feeling of greatness, is the foundation upon which your dream is built.“This feeling is a spiritual sixth sense, born in your spirit and not in your emotional realm, although emotions can give strength to this sense. Our uniqueness needs to be called out in each one of us. Joy calls this feeling of greatness the “spark of divinity.” “The spark of divinity is that place in our spirit where God meets man and man meets his dream. Some people see their dreams but never see God. Some see God, but never see their dreams. Some see both. “The feeling of greatness in our spirit is where our destiny lies. It is the spark that ignites the fire. There would be no life without it. It would be like the hull without the seed. None of us really believes we’re great in ourselves. “God births in each human being this feeling of greatness which becomes the foundation upon which dreams are built. It is not of us, and that is why it stays in our hearts.” * How do you see yourself? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you your own uniqueness and greatness! * Clifford, Lindsey. Barnett, Joy. Make a Difference Mentoring Woman to Woman. 2006. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, TN. P. 131-132.Not As ExpectedHave you ever purchased something online that didn’t look like what it appeared to be on the computer? Online shopping is a convenience I appreciate. It saves time when I can buy a dress online instead of going to the store. But sometimes the dress comes and doesn’t look anything like it did on the website. When the dress has to be returned or exchanged, the return form requests a reason for return. The form will itemize a list of possible responses including “not as expected”. A “not as expected” item shows up for me just about every day in my schedule, my relationships, especially in my walk with God. Every day offers opportunities where things don’t go as we plan. God’s ways may not be our ways, but when we leave the door open for change, He brings blessings because it’s His nature. Are you letting His greatness show up in your life when things don’t go your way?We expect greatness to look majestic, royal, vast and spectacular. This is how the world views greatness. But God is more concerned about your interior than your exterior world. He cares about the condition of your heart. Jesus said, “The kings of the nations lord it over them, and those who have authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so with you. But one who is the greater among you, let him become as the younger, and one who is governing, as one who serves. For who is greater, one who sits at the table, or one who serves? Isn’t it he who sits at the table? But I am in the midst of you as one who serves.”When we first met, I expected Michael to show up riding a white horse in knight’s clothing. Instead, he showed up in an old car and cowboy boots. Greatness showed up in an unexpected way. He still dresses casual while I still dress up. But it’s ok because I see his wonderfulness. Are you looking at your loved one’s heart? Here I Am!God glorifies His greatness. In John 17:1-5, Jesus said, “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may also glorify you; even as you gave him authority over all flesh, he will give eternal life to all whom you have given him. This is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and him whom you sent, Jesus Christ. I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do. Now, Father, glorify me with your own self with the glory which I had with you before the world existed.” Greatness comes from God. Jesus didn’t glorify Himself. He honored His Father and trusted God to lift Him up. When my family and I first moved to California and didn’t know anyone I felt very insignificant. But I learned to trust God to take care of my needs while accepting my place of no recognition. I had four children in four different schools and Mom was in Phoenix going through chemo for colon cancer. For those first few years I had to press into Jesus every day letting Him define me. I found greatness in volunteering at school with all the little people. There was greatness in the woman at the grocery store checkout counter who shared her own battle with cancer and how she overcame so much. There was greatness in the women in my Bible study who showed up faithfully week after week. I saw God’s greatness in the man on the side of the road selling strawberries from a local farm so he could stay in the US. Greatness is seeing God in all the little things in life every day. God sees you and knows you. He wants you to see Him, too. “The LORD says, "I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help. I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me. I said, 'Here I am, here I am!' to a nation that did not call on my name.” Isaiah 65:1 NLT. The literal translation here is Behold Me, Behold Me! The Hebrew word is hinneh (hin-nay) meaning behold, lo, see. Behold means to lay your eyes on, see with attention. God is saying, “See Me, see Me. Look over here! See Me!”Look at what God says about His precious Son: “While he was still speaking, behold, a shining cloud [composed of light] overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, This is My Son, My Beloved, with Whom I am [and have always been] delighted. Listen to Him!” Matthew 17:5. The Greek word for behold here is idou – an expression of intense emotion. God is so great, yet shows such a tender, sweet, spontaneous love and desire to connect with us. To be a part of everything we do. He adores you and wants to be included in every part of your life. He will lift you up in His perfect wonderful time. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 NIV. Confess out loud that you are who God says you are. There is greatness in you! Greatness Prayer with Watchman NeeLord, I consecrate myself to You, body, soul and spirit. Just as Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do great wonders among you." I am confident of the amazing great wonders You will do. Lord, for the future of the Church, for the future of the gospel, for Your way, and also for my own life, I offer myself without condition, without reservation, into Your hands. Lord I delight to offer myself unto You and am willing to let You have Your full way through me. Thank You that I am made in Your image. I am who You say that I am. Yours, O LORD, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O LORD, and this is your kingdom. I adore You as the One who is over all things.Inspired By Joshua 3:5; Psalm 40:8; Romans 12:1; The Release of the Spirit; Genesis 1:27; 1 Chronicles 29:11.What does greatness look like to God? See 1 Peter 5:5-6; Proverbs 3:34; Philippians 2:5-6.Jesus validates you in many ways. Read John 4:7-26. How did He validate this Samaritan woman?Read Psalm 119:71. What is the fruit of brokenness? See also Psalm 51. What does God think about brokenness in Psalm 51:17? What does He do about it in Psalm 34:18?How are you unique? See Psalm 139. Share what resonates with you reading this. What can you do to help someone find their greatness? See Matthew 25:40; Proverbs 19:17; Hebrews 6:10. What does this mean to you? Where have you seen greatness in someone in an unexpected way?Control“Allow it now, for this is the fitting way for us to fulfill all righteousness.” ~ “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~ “Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” ~ “ When they lead you away and deliver you up, don’t be anxious beforehand, or premeditate what you will say, but say whatever will be given you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.” ~ “When the strong man, fully armed, guards his own dwelling, his goods are safe. But when someone stronger attacks him and overcomes him, he takes from him his whole armor in which he trusted, and divides his spoils. ~ “Because I told you, ‘I saw you underneath the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these!”Matt 3:15; 11:28-29; 18:3-4; Mark 13:11 Luke 11:21-22 John 1:50.Memory Verse“Allow it now, for this is the fitting way for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Matt 3:15I Can’t and Don’t Need ToFear fuels control. Did you know the word “control” is not in the Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary? “Control” as most understand it means to exert dominating influence over. It has a negative connotation because it implies force or inflicting one’s will over another. “Control” as the world recognizes it, is not in the Bible because God doesn’t use it. He doesn’t need to use force or inflict His will on anyone. God is a Gentleman. The devil uses control as force. This kind of control is rooted in fear and deceit. Control has a positive connotation when we think of God being in control. Even though God is in control, He does not exert control. He operates in authority. When you are in difficult circumstances, don’t ever believe the lie that the devil is in control. He may mess things up for a while, but read the end of the book. "Look, I am coming soon! Blessed are those who obey the words of prophecy written in this book." Rev 22:7 NLT. The fight is fixed. Jesus has already won!In the Bible, control only refers to self-control as in temperance. In the Amplified Bible Classic Edition the Greek word for self-control is restraint or continence. The self-control God gives you in 2 Timothy 1:7 is a sound mind - a calm and well-balanced mind containing discipline with self-control. The American Dictionary of the English Language defines control as “restraint.” A biblical healthy control is self-control. I believe healthy self-control means keeping good boundaries around myself. God said in Proverbs 25:28, “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” When I don’t keep good boundaries I lose my sense of self. The AA Serenity prayer helps me keep good boundaries. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This beautiful prayer helps me see where I end and someone else begins.God gave you authority, not control. God doesn’t operate according to a worldly definition. Control is used by man, but not by God. “The LORD merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. With every bone in my body I will praise him: "LORD, who can compare with you? Who else rescues the helpless from the strong? Who else protects the helpless and poor from those who rob them?" Psalm 33:6, 35:10. NLT. Only God is Master of the universe with His firm understanding and knowledge of all things. He has all authority, power and control, yet He gave us dominion and authority. He gave us the authority that reflects His image because we are made in His likeness. Jesus said in Luke 10:19, “Behold, I give you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy. Nothing will in any way hurt you.” Jesus gives you dominion over the devil. Evil will not touch you when you line up your will with God’s will. Authority is freedom from doubt with belief in yourself and your abilities. You have God-given strength. When I speak God’s Word with authority according to His will, He will back up His words. Understanding the difference between authority and control gives you the freedom to live with healthy boundaries knowing that God Who holds the world together will hold you together as you trust His Word.Author, speaker and Psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman says first born and only children feel the need to control, be in control and be perfect more than any other birth order. More than half of all U.S. presidents are first born. Twenty-one out of twenty three astronauts are first born. Can you imagine the pressure of being about to land on the moon and “getting it right”? Growing up first born in an alcoholic family system, I assumed the role of parenting my younger siblings. It was worse than landing on the moon because as a child, there were times I thought I might die if I didn’t “get it right”. Healthy adults can actively judge and assess dangerous situations making sound judgments. Children cannot. Incapable of intellectual assessment, they can feel helpless and ashamed. Control was as important to me as my next meal. The issue wasn’t really my birth order or my need to control. The real issue was the fear that drove me preventing me from seeing my God-given authority. What’s your story? We use control to keep our lives from falling apart. When you’re feeling fear, wanting to control is a natural reaction. Fear robs us of choice. It’s a lie from the devil. As the Holy Spirit revealed to me the fear that had motivated my control, it started to lose its power in my life. I began to recognize the authority God gave me. I felt strong and confident. Fear has no legal right over you. God gave you authority over fear. Learn to respond instead of react. Watch this woman who went to a psychiatrist when she was felt her life was spiraling out of control. She was stuck in a reaction and couldn’t respond. Talking with someone safe helps us to see where we need to change. She was told she had Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. * There are times when I feel out of control, but I can’t take myself too seriously. Only take God seriously at His Word. * HYPERLINK "" \t "_blank" wants you to know that your entire life, your heart, your mind, your desires and emotions are in His hands. He wants to heal every memory, thought, hurt, pain and disappointment you’ve ever had if you let Him. He said, “Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:3-4. He heals every childhood disappointment, violence, trauma, rejection, abandonment, hurt, misunderstanding and any such pain you’ve ever experienced. Being humble doesn’t mean being a doormat or ever enduring more abuse, but it lies in the absence of false pride. Will you let Him heal you?God Can and He DoesWhen we control it’s called fear. When God controls it’s called faith. Jesus said, “Because I told you, ‘I saw you underneath the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these!” For years there was tension, animosity and heartbreak with my dad. Dad was an incredible person who gave so much of his life to others. Yet, there was brokenness between us with a seemingly uncrossable chasm. I harbored anger and resentment against him for years. Forgiving myself and forgiving Dad changed our relationship forever. As my Al Anon friend Tyla listened to my Dad’s story, she thoughtfully remarked, “It’s your decision to let your past affect your future.” If I wanted to move forward, I had to let go of the past. I learned to forgive my dad and forgive myself. Our rigid relationship became malleable as the Holy Spirit influenced our hearts. We forgave each other, planting a new love that healed the pain and shame. The greatest gift of forgiveness was the peace in my heart when he passed away. Even when there’s unresolved pain with a deceased loved one, it is never too late to forgive. Jesus doesn’t work on a linear time line. He can go back and heal wherever and whenever is needed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We’re only as sick as our secrets. The devil wants you in bondage to your past. Jesus came to set you free from your past, present and future.Fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” It is only a delusion from the evil one. The only power the devil has over you is a lie. He only has the power if you give it to him. The only control you really have is self-control. It is a gift from God when you let the Holy Spirit reside in your heart: “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23. I used to tell my kids, “You can’t help the way you feel, but you can control the way you act.” How we respond needs to take precedence over how we react.Self-control comes through discipline. “Even though discipline doesn’t feel good while it’s going on,” says Joyce Meyer, “It’s the only thing that’s ever going to produce in your life what you say you want but will never have without discipline.”* You don’t need to take on someone else’s control, either. If it doesn’t have your name on it, don’t pick it up. What you control you limit. What God controls He expands. Jesus said, “Because I told you, ‘I saw you underneath the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these!” God’s vision is always greater, more abundant and life giving than anything we can come up with. Give God the control. It’s His anyway. Only He has the power to change your heart and circumstances. Will you let Him?* I Think I’ll Let HimAs a young mom, getting good therapy from a Holy Spirit filled former alcoholic Franciscan priest changed my life. Going to Al Anon and learning to let go became a life changing habit replacing my fears with healthy coping mechanisms. I learned that “it’s a cinch by the inch, but hard by the yard”. Jesus set me free from reacting with visceral childlike responses so I could grow up and be who He created me to be. “Allow it now, for this is the fitting way for us to fulfill all righteousness” Matt 3:15.You become what you worship. “They worshiped worthless idols, so they became worthless themselves.” 2 Kings 17:15. Other translations of worthless are false, vain and meaningless. It’s easy to become consumed with our appearance, especially when we live in a culture that idolizes beautiful people. But in reality, when it’s all “stripped away,” it’s more fulfilling to honor God and value people instead of things. As you worship God, you take on His nature of joy, hope, love, compassion, goodness, and infinite possibilities! With God, all things are possible. Letting God take the reins of your life is a form of worship. You are putting Him first instead of yourself. Trying to take control is idolatry. You are saying that you can manage things better than God can. Whatever dominates the territory in your mind is your higher power. If you’re always thinking about clothes, makeup, cars, vacations, friends, family, work, emotions about an issue, whatever it is, it is your higher power and will therefore control you. Put God on the throne of your life. He replaces your external thoughts with internal thoughts of peace, hope, well-being, wisdom, discernment and love. “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV. Even emotions are external because they are rooted in your soul and not your spirit. Don’t give the devil a foothold. Footholds become strongholds. Strongholds become strangleholds. Strangleholds choke the life right out of the situation. Stop the devil now. The battle is won or lost in your mind. God’s Word is filled with healthy replacement thoughts. This is Bible therapy. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants to give you in replacement for what you let go of. Pray and listen. Dr. Caroline Leaf describes four different ways of listening.* Reconciling Scripture with science, she describes how to hold on to the goodness God gives you. The more you listen to God purposefully, the more you open your spirit to receiving the gifts He has for you. Speaking God’s Word out loud creates new life in your spirit. Pray and ask Him for a Bible verse that will replace a certain thought or feeling about a painful issue in your life. * Shift Your FocusWhen fear was ruling my life, my crazy thinking used to say, “I can’t handle it.” My thinking would get so insane because I was afraid of myself and afraid of God. Where could I turn? The Holy Spirit showed me to shift from “can’t” to “trust.” Shift your focus to God. Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matt 19:26 NLT. God’s greatest good is every bit as apt to happen as your worst fear. Fearful thoughts still pop up my mind, but God’s powerful Word rules in their place. The fruitful discipline of memorizing and saying out loud God’s Word whenever toxic thoughts appear render them powerless and produces peace. For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. 1 Cor 14:33. The issue isn’t replacing for an opposite item but rather something entirely different. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Col 3:2 NLT Like walking into a different room, sometimes you don’t need to change anything. Instead you need to walk into a completely different room and trust. The root problem is that I make myself a helpless victim. I am anything but! My root issue was not that I can’t…. or don’t need to… but rather I don’t want to. I just needed to be willing to trust. Are you willing to shift your focus? When you redirect your focal point, stop trying to control everything and everyone, and put your faith in God, He changes your life in powerful proactive ways that humanly speaking are impossible. “God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping… In fact, his faith grew stronger.” Rom 4:17,18,20. “When they lead you away and deliver you up, don’t be anxious beforehand, or premeditate what you will say, but say whatever will be given you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.” Jesus wants to be on the throne of your life to replace your anxiety with His power and encouragement. Things may not always be easy on the outside, but your internal world of strength and confidence will keep growing stronger. Jesus’ Yoke“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-29. The Amplified translation reads, “For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good - not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.” Trying to control everything usually means deceit and manipulation aren’t far behind. When I was in college in my BC days – Before Christ – when I wanted time off work I would make up fantastic stories only to go to a party or do whatever I wanted. The problem with lying was that I couldn’t always remember which lie I told last. Being honest is so much easier. Trying to control everyone and everything, manipulating my circumstances to elicit the outcome I wanted took a lot of energy. I had to learn to navigate through difficult situations in honesty and truth. Trusting God is so much more peaceful. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. NLT. Trust God to help you navigate through difficult situations. Ask for help. Don’t try to figure things out by yourself. Control is a burden you were never meant to carry. Give Jesus your burden of control. He promises to give you a light burden that is easy to carry. Remember the Holy Spirit is a Gentleman. He will never try to control you or inflict Himself upon you. Let go and let God take care of you. He’s given you everything you need to live a wonderful life. Like a lamb, He will carry you close to His heart. Will you let Him?Control Prayer Thank You Lord that You did not give me a spirit of timidity - of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear, but You have given me a spirit of power, love and calm, and a spirit of well-balanced mind, discipline and self-control. What You’ve given me is phenomenal and I will put it to good use. Dear God, let Your purpose prevail over the many plans I make. Thank You for causing everything to work together for good because I love You and You call me to Your purpose for my life. When I make my plans, direct my steps. Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Help me hold on to the truth that equality with You is not something I need to cling to. I don’t need to be You. It’s a lot more comfortable sitting in the God seat that You have for me while You sit on the throne. You hold all things together. You Alone are the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Praise You Lord Jesus!Inspired By 2 Timothy 1:7; Proverbs 19:21; Rom 8:28; Proverbs 16:9; Psalm 119:105; Philippians 2:6; Psalm 47:8; Colossians 1:17; Revelation 22:13.God’s providence is put into operation the minute you let go and let Him preside. Read Ruth 1:16-18; 2:3, 11-18; 3:18; 4:10-17. See also Luke 13:34. What does this tell you about His heart toward you? Read Isaiah 55:8-11. What does this tell you about the mind of God? What is His desire for how you think? See Philippians 2:1-11.Fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” How have you created fear in your life? What was the fruit? God’s Word is your best replacement therapy. Read Psalm 37. What is the Holy Spirit showing you? Ask Him what He wants to replace your fear with.In Jeremiah 29:4-13 God told His children to remain in the condition to which they were called. In His time He would bring them to a new place. How does this speak to your life? See also 1 Corinthians 7:20-24.Letting go of control simply means letting God have His way. What does God promise you when you let go of control? See Ephesians 1:11; Proverbs 16:9; 2 Timothy 1:7.Self-control comes through discipline. What are the blessings that discipline brings? See Hebrews 12:5-13.Discernment“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. By their fruit you will know them. Do you gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree produces good fruit; but the corrupt tree produces evil fruit. A good tree can’t produce evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree produce good fruit. Every tree that doesn’t grow good fruit is cut down, and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruit you will know them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will tell me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, in your name cast out demons, and in your name do many mighty works?’ Then I will tell them, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you who work iniquity.’” ~ “‘By hearing you will hear, and will in no way understand; Seeing you will see, and will in no way perceive: for this people’s heart has grown callous, their ears are dull of hearing, they have closed their eyes; or else perhaps they might perceive with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their heart, and should turn again; and I would heal them.’” ~ “Then if any man tells you, ‘Behold, here is the Christ,’ or, ‘There,’ don’t believe it. For there will arise false christs, and false prophets, and they will show great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the chosen ones.” ~ “Behold, I have told you beforehand. If therefore they tell you, ‘Behold, he is in the wilderness,’ don’t go out; ‘Behold, he is in the inner rooms,’ don’t believe it.” ~ “Follow me.” ~ “Watch out that you don’t get led astray, for many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am he,’ and, ‘The time is at hand.’ Therefore don’t follow them. When you hear of wars and disturbances, don’t be terrified, for these things must happen first, but the end won’t come immediately.” ~ “Behold, I come like a thief. Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his clothes, so that he doesn’t walk naked, and they see his shame.” Matt 7:15-23; 13:14-15; 24:23-24, 25-26 Luke 5:27; 21:8-9 Rev 16:15.Memory VerseBy their fruit you will know them. Matt 7:16.Where’s The Fruit?Discernment is listening to God. It brings the ability to understand what is obscure. Reading God’s Word daily nurtures healthy understanding in my spirit. Because Jesus is omniscient or all knowing, He understands the truth behind everything and everyone. Letting Him be Lord of your life provides you with the discernment needed to judge wisely and objectively. In Matthew 21, Jesus walked by a fig tree that was lovely with leaves and looked healthy. Although it was not the season for figs, from a distance it looked like a fruit bearing plant. Why would Jesus curse a tree that’s not bearing fruit in season? Why did He expect something when nothing is expected? Plants and even fruit can appear good, but be rotten. Healthy plants need the right conditions to produce healthy fruit. They need space, water, sunlight, temperature and even air. It is amazing how God provides this. In order for a tree to produce healthy fruit, it must have the right soil conditions. In other words, God has to bless the soil. “There needs to be a proper balance of both reserve food and soil elements. A healthy tree has a healthy abundant balance of both reserve food and soil elements. If there is a shortage of soil elements and nutrients the tree will be weak, producing undersized, poor quality fruit. If there is a shortage of soil elements, the tree may be healthy but it will not produce fruit.”* * Discernment is meant to help others. Jesus said in Matthew 7:15-16, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. By their fruit you will know them. Do you gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles?” Discerning a fruitful tree is to understand that sometimes it’s what you don’t see that causes the unfruitfulness. You need to get to the root to discern the problem. In Acts 17:16, when Paul saw that the city of Athens was full of idols, his spirit was stirred or provoked within him. He discerned the people’s need to worship the true God. Because of his discernment he shared Jesus’ love in such a way that many were saved. When your spirit is stirred or provoked, or you’re confused or perplexed, pray and ask the Holy Spirit for revelation. He will give you discernment whether it’s a vision, direction or understanding. His discernment is always to protect, guide and help you, your loved ones and others.Jesus walked by a lovely fig tree that appeared to have fruit. From afar, it appeared to offer the promise of satisfying His hunger pangs. It was actually a healthy tree. How many times have you seen someone or something that looks so good, vibrant and healthy but has no fruit? The Omniscient One discerned or understood that the soil was void of the nutrients needed to produce fruit. Jesus knew there would never be any figs on that tree not because the tree was unhealthy, but because the soil was cursed. Jesus knew that soil would never offer the elements needed to produce fruit. Sometimes you need to get closer to someone or something before you can see the truth. The Holy Spirit reveals truth not to judge but to help and heal. Discern With the Light Even though figs were not in season, Jesus looked for fruit because He was hungry. According to Apologetic Press,* “When Jesus approached the fig tree, the text indicates that the tree had plenty of leaves. R.K. Harrison, writing in the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, explains that various kinds of figs grew in Palestine during the first century. One very important aspect of fig growth has to do with the relationship between the leaf and the fruit. Harrison notes that the tiny figs, known to the Arabs as taksh, “appear simultaneously in the leaf axils”. This taksh is edible and “is often gathered for sale in the markets.” Furthermore, the text notes: “When the young leaves are appearing in spring, every fertile fig will have some taksh on it.... But if a tree with leaves has no fruit, it will be barren for the entire season.”“Thus, when Jesus approached the leafy fig tree, He had every reason to suspect that something edible would be on it. However, after inspecting the tree, Mark records that “He found nothing but leaves.” No taksh were budding as they should have been if the tree was going to produce edible figs that year. The tree appeared to be fruitful, but it only had outward signs of bearing fruit (leaves) and in truth offered nothing of value to weary travelers.”* Like the Pharisees or other people who offer false hope, outward signs often betray inner truth. Discernment not only protects you and but helps others.* What you think is the problem is often only the symptom. Jesus said, “‘By hearing you will hear, and will in no way understand; Seeing you will see, and will in no way perceive: for this people’s heart has grown callous, their ears are dull of hearing, they have closed their eyes; or else perhaps they might perceive with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their heart, and should turn again; and I would heal them.’” Mat 13:14-15. Listen and see with your heart what Jesus is saying to discern the truth. Jesus wants you to discern the root of the problem so that His truth takes root in your spirit. Understanding with your heart is discerning the truth. Like a little plant with its face inclined toward the sun, you need to incline your spirit toward the Son.Early in my marriage I would get upset when Michael would be home late for dinner. I thought the problem was his inconsideration. Naturally it was always about him. When we went in for counseling I came to understand it was only a symptom. The root of the problem was my childhood fear of abandonment carried for years. The truth set me free from a lot of pain. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.” Psalm 119:71. Keeping up appearances can be deadly. The worst forms of cancer are never felt until it’s usually too late. Thank God when you feel pain over something. Pain is the doorway to healing. Discernment reveals so you can feel, deal and heal. Jesus will give you discernment to see the truth. What you say and how you act is still only appearance. What you believe bears the fruit of salvation. What you believe separates the figs from the leaves! What do you want? When you’ve been inside in a dark room and walk outside into the bright sunshine, the light hurts your eyes. In the same manner, it takes time to adjust to the light when you’ve been in the darkness. Colin Urquhart’s Bible translation The Truth reads in John 1:1-5, “Jesus is the Word. He existed in the beginning, before time began. This Word was with God and, indeed, the Word was God. He was the Word that God spoke in the beginning. By this spoken Word, through Jesus, everything was created. Nothing could exist if it not were for Him. In Jesus, in this Word, was the life that brought God‘s light into the people‘s lives. This light came and shone into the spiritual darkness of the world; but the darkness did not want the Light, and so did not receive Him.” You need to decide what you want. If you want the Light, it’s yours to receive. Often people prefer to remain in confusion because they believe the situation they are in is serving them in some way. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to learn to give up your comfort so that God’s light could bring the freedom you need? Familiar spirits can keep you comfortable in a lie. Don’t let the devil deceive you into staying in misery. Jesus’ Light sets you free. Discernment Reveals PurposeJesus understood that the soil was void of the elements needed to produce fruit on that fig tree. The soil was cursed. The fig tree abundant with leaves but no fruit symbolized God’s people who were abundant with lifeless religion, but with no life, rejecting the true Life before them. The fig tree without fruit represents not only the unfulfilled promise of satisfaction, but the fall of mankind. So like the fig tree that falsely promised satisfaction that went unfulfilled, Israel’s religious system appeared to hold a promise of satisfaction, but was unfruitful. The Pharisees maintained an external form of godliness but were empty shells, rejecting the Son of God. Jesus encountered the fig tree the week before His crucifixion. He knew what was about to happen. He was about to fulfill His purpose. He knew the soil was cursed because He cursed it when Adam sinned. Yet Jesus demonstrated discernment in order to encourage the faith of His disciples.Whatever God speaks will always line up with His Word. Every word from the Bible is from Jesus because He is the Word. What Jesus spoke while He walked the earth carries its own powerful effect. The purpose of discerning the fruitless fig tree was part of God’s prophetic Word. You need discernment and the ability to see through what seems obscure in order to keep your eyes on Jesus the Author and Finisher of your faith. Discernment enables you to hold on to your faith. If you accept everything at face value you set yourself up for confusion. Does what you’re discerning line up with God’s Word?In Genesis 3, once Adam and Eve sinned, “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. ?When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. ?Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”“Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”God Who knows everything was heartbroken. He understood the ramifications of the choice Adam and Eve had made. God then cursed the ground before Adam in verse 17, ”The ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will have to scratch a living from it.” Gen 3:7-11; 17 NLT.All the ground is cursed and can’t be replenished without toil. Even the fig leaves covering Adam’s shame and deceit were dying not just because they were torn from the fig tree but because they didn’t stand a chance in cursed soil. Out of all the trees that Jesus passed He cursed the fig tree because it symbolized an appearance of promise that was empty. Like the fig tree leaves, Adam’s fig leaves covered the truth of his sin. Our sinful nature wants to cover our shame with the appearance of good. You are only as sick as your secrets. Confessing our sin removes the shame for which Jesus already paid the price. The Main Thing’s The Main ThingIt is all about Jesus. In Matt 23:24 He said, “Then if any man tells you, ‘Behold, here is the Christ,’ or, ‘There,’ don’t believe it. For there will arise false christs, and false prophets, and they will show great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the chosen ones.” When my children were babies they did not want to be held by a stranger. Even if I wasn’t in the room they’d respond to my voice because I was literally their world. I held them, nursed them, hugged them, cleaned up after them, comforted them. I did everything but become a baby myself although sometimes I did feel like I was losing my adult mind. When you let Jesus hold you, love you, feed you, speak with you, and care for you, because you’re so comfortable with Him, you will discern the difference when you’re in the presence of a stranger. As a young believer I knew I had to stay close to Jesus. I would run from anything that appeared to be incongruent with my faith in Jesus. Then one day I read a life after death book that fascinated me. When I mentioned it to a trusted friend she looked uncomfortable and shared, “Well, she does have faith, but it’s not in Christianity.” After doing my own investigation, I realized she was right. Satan can be a million truths but one little white lie. Staying close to Jesus through my friends when I wouldn’t listen to my own discernment kept me from deceit. Listen to your friends in their honesty even if it feels uncomfortable. It’s easier to recognize deceit when you’re immersed in the truth. “When an aspiring agent of the U.S. Treasury is going to learn how to detect counterfeit money, how do you imagine that they are taught to tell the fake stuff from the real stuff? Do they look at counterfeit bills? Do they learn about color-shifting inks, watermarks, ultraviolet glows and fiber quality? Certainly not! Their training consists of one thing and one thing only: endless hours of touching, ogling, and sniffing real money. For if a person knows what the genuine article looks like then they’ll never accept a counterfeit.” * * The United States Secret Service even has a site that encourages Americans to be aware: “The public has a role in maintaining the integrity of U.S. currency. You can help guard against the threat from counterfeiters by becoming more familiar with United States currency. Look at the money you receive. Compare a suspect note with a genuine note of the same denomination and series, paying attention to the quality of printing and paper characteristics. Look for differences, not similarities.”* When you’re reading God’s Word daily, memorizing Scripture, staying close to friends who are committed believers, serving others, going to church and living in honesty, it’s easier to discern when something’s not right. Desire God’s love more than you desire anything else. * Remember that God gave you discernment to help others. Sometimes discernment gets confused with suspicion. Associate Bethel Pastor Kris Vallotton in his book, “Spirit Wars” describes the dangers of this temptation: “Suspicion is discernment’s wicked stepsister. It can masquerade as discernment and ultimately lead us into bondage. Suspicion is the gift of discernment being used by the spirit of fear. For example, before King Saul was tormented by demons, the Bible says the “Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on” (1 Samuel 18:9). Suspicion leads to bitterness, unforgiveness and torment; it will result in a person being cast into a spiritual prison where all the guards work for the dark side. The spirits who guard the bars of this prison have names like sickness, depression, hatred and murder. “When you have a strong negative opinion about someone, do not trust your “gift of discernment.” Solomon said that a good name is more desirable that great wealth (see Proverbs 22:1). The goal of any gift of the Spirit is to build trust and help people grow in God. No gift of the Spirit should be used to destroy people’s reputations, kill their passion for God or steal their identity. Even if your discernment proves accurate and a demonic spirit is troubling a person, that person’s reputation should be protected and his or her personhood should always be honored as someone created in the likeness of God.” * How are you using your discernment to help others? * Vallotton, Kris. Spirit Wars: Winning the Invisible Battle Against Sin and the Enemy. Minneapolis, MN. Chosen. 2012. PP. 175-176. The Big PictureIn Rev 16:15 Jesus said, “Behold, I come like a thief. Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his clothes, so that he doesn’t walk naked, and they see his shame.” Jesus reversed the curse of Adam and restored the blessing through His priceless gift of atonement. Adam lost his clothes of God’s love, walked naked and covered his shame with fig leaves. Jesus clothed you in His love, replaced your nakedness with His righteousness, and took your shame upon the cross. Jesus literally shamed shame on the cross. He gives you a spirit of discernment in your circumstances so you’re always ready for Him. This Scripture doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of the world. Jesus wants you living a lifestyle being aware of how the little choices you make every day largely affect your life and those around you. God gives you gifts so you can give to others.How you act, what you say, the attitude you nurture always needs to be fresh and clean. When I was ten years old, I wrote and collected a little book of sayings. One of my favorite sayings was, “Better keep yourself clean and bright, for you are the window through which you must see the world.” It’s easier to see through a clean window! Let Jesus keep you clean with the water of life that comes from the throne of God: “Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. It flowed down the center of the main street. On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations. No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship him.” Rev 22:1-3 NLT. Jesus’ leaves are no longer used to cover the same of sin. His leaves heal us and make us whole.Discernment starts in your heart. Listen to the soft still voice of Jesus as you walk along the river of Life. He’s even promised you your very own fig tree: “Everyone will live in peace and prosperity, enjoying their own grapevines and fig trees, for there will be nothing to fear. The LORD of Heaven's Armies has made this promise!” Micah 4:4. Let the River of Life cleanse you from all the toxic thoughts that try to rob you of discerning the difference between good and evil. Like a little plant rooted by the River of Life, with its face inclined toward the sun, incline your spirit toward the Son. You are blessed to be a blessing to yourself and others! Discernment Prayer Dear Lord, let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good. I use Your mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. By Your power I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of You, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. By Your divine power, thank You for giving me everything I need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know You, the One Who called us to Yourself by means of Your marvelous glory and excellence. May I discern and understand what really matters, so I may live pure and blameless until the day of Christ's return. I love You, Lord! Inspired By Job 34:4; 2 Corinthians 10:4-5; 2 Peter 1:3; Philippians 1:10What is discernment’s foundation? See Hosea 14:9; Proverbs 2:6; 3:5-6, 13-26. How can you discern? See Romans 12:3; 1 Thessalonians 5:6-8; 2 Timothy 4:3-5; Hebrews 12:1-2; 1 Peter 1:13, 4:7-8, 5:8-9.Read 1 Kings 3:16-28. Why was discernment so important to King Solomon?What caused Solomon and what can cause you to get off track? See 1 Kings 11:1-4, 9-11. 2 Corinthians 11:14.Wisdom precedes discernment. How do you maintain discernment? See Galatians 5:16-23? See also James 3:13-18.Read 1 John 1:9. How do you keep your perspective bright and clean? See also John 15:3; Psalm 51:10-13.Healing“I want to. Be made clean.” ~ “I will come and heal him.” ~ “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. Blessed is he who finds no occasion for stumbling in me.” ~ “Stretch out your hand.” ~ “Who touched my clothes?” ~ “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be cured of your disease.” ~ “For this saying, go your way. The demon has gone out of your daughter.” ~ “Ephphatha!” “Be opened!” ~ “But go your way, and show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing according to what Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.” ~ “Why are you reasoning so in your hearts? Which is easier to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you;’ or to say, ‘Arise and walk?’ But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins…” “I tell you, arise, and take up your cot, and go to your house.” ~ “Who touched me?” ~ “Someone did touch me, for I perceived that power has gone out of me.” ~ “Daughter, cheer up. Your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” ~ “Don’t be afraid. Only believe, and she will be healed.” ~ “Don’t weep. She isn’t dead, but sleeping.” ~ “Child, arise!” ~ “Go your way. Your son lives.” ~ “Do you want to be made well?” ~ “Arise, take up your mat, and walk.” ~ “This sickness is not to death, but for the glory of God, that God’s Son may be glorified by it.”Matt 8:3, 7; 11:4-6 Mark 3:5; 5:30, 34; 7:29, 34 Luke 5:14, 22-24; 8:45, 46, 48, 50, 52, 54 John 4:50; 5:6, 8; 11:4.Memory Verse “Daughter, cheer up. Your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48.What Do You Want?Jesus is always healing. In Matt 9:35, “Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.” Healing is a powerful medicine that is underestimated. Jesus is the Word. God’s Word heals. The Word Jesus walked this earth healing every kind of disease, sickness and weakness (Jubilee translation) among the people. The power of Jesus is largely underestimated. Reading and dwelling on the Word builds a firm fortress of faith in God. It’s a lifestyle of the Word, not a time amount. There are lots of fun ways to read the Word and stay close to God. I enjoy listening to my audio Bible app in the morning when making breakfast, checking out my Bible.Is app on my phone during the day, and reading Just Jesus on my Kindle at night. Taking a moment during the busy day to read a couple sentences from the Bible keeps you connected. In Matthew 8:1-3, “Behold, a leper came to him and worshiped him, saying, “Lord, if you want to, you can make me clean.” Jesus stretched out his hand, and touched him, saying, “I want to. Be made clean.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.” The simple beauty of Jesus’ pure love toward this adoring leper takes my breath away. He wanted Jesus more than he wanted healing. He worshipped Jesus first. Then he asked. Jesus knew his heart and made him whole. Let the power of Jesus manifest in your faith. What He says, He will do. Only believe. Asking questions facilitates healing. In John 5:6, Jesus asked a man, “Do you want to be made well?” Jesus asked questions because He is brilliant. He knew that asking questions nurtures relationship and cultivates innovative thinking. Innovative Management tactics teach that the single most important habit of innovative thinkers is to ask questions. Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, said, “We run this company on questions, not answers.” He knows that if you keep asking questions you can keep finding better answers. * * You need to want Jesus more than healing. God knows your heart. Of course He wants you healed! Jesus spoke to people first, then their disease. He wants you whole spiritually, mentally and physically. We live in a fallen world and cannot fault anyone for sickness or sin. Having an affliction, a chronic mental or physical illness or allergies is not a sin. However, being sick causes feelings of vulnerability that we need to guard against nurturing in our hearts. Your attitude about being a victim is a choice that becomes sin when you allow it to move you away from the Holy Spirit. Holding on to hurt is a choice. Hurt becomes sin when we don’t move beyond it. Pain is the doorway to healing. Let God use your pain to reveal, so you can feel, deal and heal. Jesus came to set us free from sin and sickness in spirit, soul and body. “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” 1 Peter 2:24 NLT.Do you ever feel like you deserve some pity? No one ever wants to come with me to my “poor little me” pity party. When Jesus asked this man if he wanted to be made well, He knew the condition of this man’s heart. Jesus was calling this man to walk out of his self pity.Faith Before FeelingsYour faith needs to lead your feelings. This man was hurting physically, emotionally and spiritually. He was a broken soul. In Jerusalem there was a pool called Bethesda where people who had various illnesses would wait for the bubbling of the waters. An angel would stir the waters and whoever went in first after the stirring was healed. The Amplified translation reads in verse 3 of John 5, “In these lay a great number of sick folk—some blind, some crippled, and some paralyzed (shriveled up)— waiting for the bubbling up of the water.” How often I’ve been blinded by deceit, crippled by condemnation, paralyzed by shame and shriveled up by bad attitude. All these precious people waiting to be healed represent you and me. Freedom begins in our hearts and minds. He will heal you, but you need to want it. This man had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. He was in bondage physically, emotionally and spiritually. Jesus knew this man’s condition, but asked him if he wanted to be better. “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the waters are stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” John 5:7. Every time he would head toward the pool, he’d stop by to spend time at his own pity party! This sounds like one of my own pity parties. Have you ever had one of your own? So often Jesus offers me hope and healing but I want to hold on shriveled up ways of thinking that keep me from being free. I need to put my faith before my feelings. The invalid also played the blame game at his party. It was everyone else’s fault that he couldn’t get into the pool. Poor me! Woe is poor little me! He was so busy licking his wounds, he could not make any progress. My dog Riley has a nervous habit of licking his right front paw. All Riley needs is a dog toy to stop his habit, but I usually need more than distraction to break a bad habit. In our own self-pity we get so busy pointing the finger at everyone else, we don’t stop to take responsibility for our part in what’s going on. It is easy to get caught in the trap of feeling sorry for yourself.God’s truth changes your facts. The fact was that this man was as crippled in his soul as he was in his body. But when the man saw Jesus, he was cured at once. God opened his eyes to see his Savior. “Jesus said to him, Get up! Pick up your bed (sleeping pad) and walk! Instantly the man became well and recovered his strength and picked up his bed and walked.” John 5:8-9 AMPC. The man laid his feelings aside, put his faith in God and walked. When you believe the truth of God’s Word, He will change the facts of your life. The freedom I walk in every day is the fruit of my faith in God and not my feelings. In the diet of my mind, there are certain foods I cannot eat. As much as I love sweet desserts, eating sugar bloats my stomach and hurts my joints. I will pay the price during Thanksgiving and Christmas eating all those delicious cookies, cakes and pies. There may be thoughts that I indulge in that feel good in the moment, but hurt my spirit, causing me to stumble and challenge my faith. Now I’ve learned to walk not by what I see and feel, but by my faith. You need to maintain your grace consciousness and not get stuck in the swamp of toxic thoughts and feelings. Are you walking by faith and not by sight?Hold on to Your HealingHold on to the healing God gives you. The man’s healing was almost immediately challenged. Jesus healing this man on the Sabbath angered the Jewish officials. “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.” Pastor Bill Johnson of Bethel Church in Redding says on healing, “When the enemy is vacated from a place, he seeks re-entry.” We need to consciously and steadfastly guard our healing and well-being God gives us.Healing is found in committed worship to God. Train yourself to worship God when you feel like it and when you don’t. It has nothing to do with you feelings. Like learning a new language, at first it may be difficult and “feel” uncomfortable. But the more you worship God, the more comfortable you become in His sweet presence. It’s hard to stay mean spirited in the presence of God. Taking Holy Communion brings healing. Evangelist Joseph Prince describes communion, “All you need to do to take Communion is to know Jesus as your Savior and understand what He did for you. Make sure that you discern His body. When you partake, believe that Jesus took bread and broke it because His body was going to be broken. As you partake of Jesus’ broken body, know that His body was broken so that yours can be whole. When you partake in this spirit of faith, something happens to your body. You become strong, healthy and you will live long.” ** Prince, Joseph. Health and Wholeness Through The Holy Communion. Singapore. Thomas Nelson. 2006. P. 31.Sometimes someone is so broken they don’t know enough to stay clean. As discerners of God’s Word you can steward and pass on the understanding that God gives you. Intercede for the wounded, take authority over the brokenness and ask God to replace it with whatever the Holy Spirit reveals to you. ** unclean spirit may need to be replaced with a consecrated spirit. A divisive spirit may need to be replaced with a spirit of peace. A deceitful spirit may need to be replaced with a spirit of truth. God’s grace always covers the brokenness. Love covers a multitude of sins. There is power in the blood of Jesus! “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” Psalm 119:71. You won’t hurt forever. The Life of Jesus in you is a constantly healing Presence. Trust Him more deeply than ever before. You are getting closer to Jesus than you’ve ever been before. Change your pain to God’s gain. Pain is meant to reveal, so you can feel, deal and heal. It is the doorway to healing. Change your pain to God’s gain.Take Communion, honor the blood of Jesus, His redemption and what it means to you. Apply it to your hurt. By His wounds you are healed. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. Rev 12:11 NLT Let go of your ways and wants, and let Jesus lead you and guide you. The devil tried to take the man’s healing. Instead of holding on to what God gave him, the man reverted to his old ways of finger pointing, saying, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ” He blamed Jesus instead of giving Him the glory! He was actually afraid. It’s easy to get tempted back into old ways when we’re afraid. Temptation may lead to sin, but it is not sin. Temptation is a warning sign. What are the warning signs that temptation may be showing you?Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” John 5:14. The price tag for this man’s healing was repentance. He needed to hold on to his healing by changing the way he thought, felt and acted. Your feelings may deceive you, but actions don’t lie. Act in faith. Stay outside yourself when you feel stuck. Confide in a close friend who will nudge you in Jesus’ direction. Pray together. There is nothing that lifts you faster out of negativity than praying with a friend. Repentance is a resolute turning away from sin and toward God after a divine heartfelt conviction of sin and guilt before God. Repentance involves both a change of mind and a change of heart attitude. Accept the Holy Spirit’s power to help you live a holy life. The bigger consequence of backsliding would be something worse than his thirty-eight-year condition. Where are you about to backslide? Don’t get stuck in the feeling of pain but focus on relying on the promise of faith.Jesus is asking you, “Do you want to get well? Do you want healing? Do you want to be set free?” If you do, you need to be responsible for what you are thinking and believing. This man saw Jesus and at once believed. Sin is not an act; it is a condition of the soul we are born with. Andrew Murray writes, “All sin is nothing but the spirit of the creature turned from the universality of love to some self-seeking or own will in created things.” * Sin begins with temptation.* Murray, Andrew. Freedom From A Self-Centered Life: Dying to Self. Minneapolis. Dimension Books. 1977. P. 12.Love Not JudgeWhen we walk around in someone else’s mind we can get lost. Where have they been? What have they been through to cause so much torment? There are situations of hurt and pain so great that no one can get close to the person or situation. That is why it’s impossible to judge someone else’s pain or grief. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for revelation. He will give it to you. His revelation always lines up with His Word. You may need to walk alongside and love this person. Jesus said in Luke 5:22-24, “Why are you reasoning so in your hearts? Which is easier to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you;’ or to say, ‘Arise and walk?’ But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”… “I tell you, arise, and take up your cot, and go to your house.” Jesus knew the thoughts of the Pharisees. They were so busy judging Jesus, their judgment blinded them to the miraculous healing taking place before them. They worshipped themselves. They worshipped their religion and false ideologies. They were not interested in worshipping the Living God. The more shocked we are about a wrong usually means the more self-deceit we’re in. What I am resentful for, I’m guilty of. I’m no different than anyone else. Self-acceptance means others acceptance.The joy that I worship Jesus in is a Holy Spirit place in my spirit and mind. It is not a feeling but a gift from God. Like a little plant with its tender leaves inclined toward the sun, so you too can incline toward the Son with all the tender leaves God is cultivating in you.Worship God in fullness of joy. “You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Proverbs 16:11 NASB. When you allow the Holy Spirit to shine a light on your conscience, you will experience the desire to practice the healing presence of God.Adversity prunes us of counterproductive thoughts to set us free. Difficulty produces an opportunity to practice what you believe. Don’t allow the devil to let hardships be an excuse to practice what you feel. This is where the rubber meets the road. Your faith sees more clearly than your feelings. It’s always better to stay silent than to say anything that implies condemnation. Don’t let the devil try to put condemnation on you or anyone else. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don't walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1. Speak God’s Word loudly to that condemnation. It has no power over you. The only power that the devil has is a lie. You’ve been set free.Keep Pressing ThroughYour soul follows your spirit. Your soul is made of your mind, your will and your emotions. You need to keep discouragement from your spirit so it doesn’t get stuck in your soul. Jesus said in John 11:4, “This sickness is not to death, but for the glory of God, that God’s Son may be glorified by it.” Keep discouragement from your spirit by speaking out loud God’s Word over your need. Authors of the book Love After Marriage, Lori and Barry Byrne in their Nothing Hidden Ministries app offer a powerful prayer called a Spirit Blessing which has brought anointed breakthroughs for many people. It’s meant for couples, but can apply to anyone. Bless your own spirit saying out loud, “I bless my spirit to lead my soul and body.” Bless your loved one or someone else in need, “ ___________, I call your spirit to attention to operate in a leadership role over your soul and body. And ___________, I call your spirit into alignment with the purpose of Jesus for your life today.”I once heard Joyce Meyer say in a teaching, “Don’t be jealous of what someone else has unless you’re willing to do what they did to get there.” Even when Jesus heals in an instant, it often takes years and years of pain and heartbreak before healing appears. Delia Knox loved the Lord. On Christmas day in 1987 a drunk driver ploughed into her car leaving her paralyzed from the waist down from a spinal injury. But he put them all outside, and taking her by the hand, he called, saying, "Child, arise!" Luke 8:54 For the first ten years in a wheelchair, Delia would wake up in the morning and ask God, “Is today the day?” She would touch her legs and see if there was any feeling in them. After ten years of waiting and expecting healing, she decided she would not mourn the loss of her legs anymore. She decided, “I will worship and use what I have to be productive in my life. I will use my tongue to lift up Your Name everywhere I go. I won’t give attention anymore to what’s going on in my legs, but I will worship You.”Delia developed a ministry singing where she would often be found worshipping God in her wheelchair, singing and praising Him. She worshipped God regardless of her feelings. “Once I hit twenty years, I just knew, I just knew this isn’t going to happen anymore. Then August 27th occurred and the Lord showed me what hope deferred really means. I had put hope on the shelf and deferred it to another time. Like when you defer a payment. “I used to roll out of healing services because I just didn’t want to be disappointed anymore. I’m not going to tell you that every day I believed. But on that day August 27th something happened to me when two parents brought their baby forward for healing. The baby had a kidney disease, and immediately compassion came in my heart for that baby. I thought of 1 Peter 1:23, (“Having been born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, through the word of God, which lives and remains forever.”) and a baby conceived by God. I began to pray, ‘Lord, You’ve got to do something for that baby. You’ve got to do something for that baby right now, because that baby was conceived because of the incorruptible seed of Who You Are!’“Then the parents gave the baby to the love greeters to pray over him. I said to God, ‘Look he’s safe. He’s safe in the arms.’ Then Nathan the evangelist filled with compassion for me, called my husband. “ ‘Is that your wife? Bring her over.’ My heart had become soft in that moment with compassion for a healing touch for that baby. Something happened. I can’t explain it to you other than something happened within me to believe in healing for that child. When they called me over and Nathan began to pray, I was overwhelmed. I just began to worship. I took hope off the shelf and put it with God.”* * In The Bay of the Holy Spirit Revival church in Alabama Delia was instantly and radically changed. Her fear of disappointment for her own healing was replaced with compassion for the child. When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matt 9:36 NLT In Brené Brown’s book, The Gift of Imperfection, she explains “why compassion is not typically our first response to suffering. The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, meaning “to suffer with.” I don’t believe that compassion is our default response. I think our first response to pain – ours or someone else’s – is to self-protect. We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame. Or sometimes we shield ourselves by turning to judgment or by immediately going into fix-it mode… Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals… The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become.” * Delia was filled with the compassion of Jesus that day for a baby in need of healing. She had crossed from self-protection to self acceptance. * Brown, Brené. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden. Center City, MN. 2010. PP. 15-16.She let go of everything for herself. She stopped hoping and believing for herself and with reckless abandon, started hoping and believing for that precious little baby. Shortly afterwards, evangelist Nathan Morris called her forward and prayed for her. After a few minutes she began to experience feeling in her legs. The prayer persisted and after several more minutes she was able to stand with assistance from others and take a few uncertain steps.After several weeks Delia regained sufficient coordination and strength to be able to walk unassisted. Shortly afterward, she was filmed walking up a flight of stairs to her parents’ front door. * Jesus said in John 12:24, “Most certainly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit.” Delia died to her hopes, her dreams, her desires and learned to hold on to God Alone. After twenty-two years, after giving up, giving over everything to God and worshipping Him in everything, God healed her. She stopped hoping for her legs and started loving God Alone. * Put God above all else. “And so faith, hope, love abide [faith—conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 AMPC. Jesus will never deny you His love. Healing Prayer Jesus thank You that You personally carried my sins in Your body on the cross so that I can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By Your wounds I am healed. You were pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. You were beaten so I could be whole. You were whipped so I could be healed. Thank You that You redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us. For it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.” Help me to guard my heart above all else for it determines the course of my life. Let me live with compassion and not condemnation. Thank You for Your healing Presence in my soul. Inspired By 1 Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:5; Galatians 3:13; Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 9:36; Romans 8:1Read Psalm 107. What does God’s Word promise in verses 13; 19-20, 28, 30. See also John 15:3. What does worship bring? Read Psalm 103:1-5 AMP. What does this mean to you? In John 5:5 AMPC, “There was a certain man there who had suffered with a deep-seated and lingering disorder for thirty-eight years.” Why did the man by the pool play the blame game with Jesus instead of giving God the glory? See Genesis 3:10; Proverbs 29:25; John 2:24; Psalm 106:14-15.True worship always starts in your heart and always brings healing. In Isaiah 58, describe the difference between true and false worship as expressed through fasting. See Malachi 4:2. What brings healing? See James 5:13-16; 1 John 5:14-15; 1 Peter 2:24. What does this tell you about God’s nature?As healing believers we have access to all the health and healing God offers. The transformation that begins in our spirit manifests in our soul and body as we mature in our walk with God. See Romans 8:1-2, 10; 2 Corinthians 4:16-17; 3 John 1:2; 2 Corinthians 5:16-17. How can you apply this to your life?Children“Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever therefore humbles himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever receives one such little child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him that a huge millstone should be hung around his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depths of the sea.” ~ “Allow the little children, and don’t forbid them to come to me; for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to ones like these.” ~ “Whoever receives one such little child in my name, receives me, and whoever receives me, doesn’t receive me, but him who sent me.” ~ “Allow the little children to come to me, and don’t hinder them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Most certainly, I tell you, whoever doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a little child, he will in no way enter into it.” Matt 18:3-6; 19:14 Mark 9:37 Luke 18:16-17.Memory Verse“Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matt 18:3.Childlike Not Child “ish”Children are special to Jesus. They reflect an innocence that makes us all feel good when life gets intense. Mary, Jesus’ Mom had childlike faith. She endured the greatest grief any Mother can ever experience: she lost her precious beloved child. Unless you’ve been down this road it is impossible to understand the depth of her pain. Yet she kept her childlike faith that was so precious in God’s sight. She was a child when she became pregnant with Jesus. When the angel Gabriel honored her while telling her the good news, “she was greatly troubled and disturbed and confused at what he said and kept revolving in her mind what such a greeting might mean.” Luke 1:29 AMPC. But she wasn’t afraid. She just didn’t know what to think of it. How can this be, she asked. She was just a child, still a virgin. In Luke 1:30, the angel replied, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found grace (free, spontaneous, absolute favor and loving-kindness) with God.” She held on to her childlike faith. Jesus said in Luke 18:16-17, “Allow the little children to come to me, and don’t hinder them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Most certainly, I tell you, whoever doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a little child, he will in no way enter into it.” Jesus wants us to rest and play with Him like a little child without fear. This heart attitude enables us to live out the Kingdom of God. Sometimes your mind has to understand what your spirit already knows. My spirit knew God’s Word was true, but my mind still had to catch up. As the firstborn in a dysfunctional family I never felt like I was allowed to be a child growing up. Not only did I need to be a parent to my siblings, but I needed to be a parent to my parents. The problem is the problem, not the person. I wasn’t the problem, nor was my family the problem. I could have been born into another family and still acted the same way. The problem was the brokenness in a family system coupled with my propensity to take on more than necessary. Operating as an adult was a big burden for a little person. I literally thought I would die if I didn’t care for everyone. I was a child physically, but an adult emotionally. This was a perfect recipe for being more child “ish” than childlike.I believed the lie that if I’m not hard on myself I would cease to exist. This lie produced in my spirit a heaviness and inner criticism that caused me to be harsh with myself and my children. I was an uber-responsible parent. But I was often harsh and my kids told me so! Arthritis began to manifest in my joints even with all my healthy eating and swimming. Inner criticism and heaviness was taking its toll physically as well as spiritually. Being childlike means seeing God in the newness and wonder of Who Jesus Is. Children being childlike and childish is normal and healthy. Being child “ish” as an adult means staying stuck in fear. God wants to reverse the curse and restore the blessing. The root lie was believing that the Holy Spirit was dependent upon me to get things done. He showed me I was dependent upon Him and that He could take care of everything. Being a healthy parent means understanding the heart of a child. God brought me through this healing process enabling me to raise my children in healthier ways as my own health progressed. Have you ever felt like God is dependent upon you? Do you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? If we remain in Him He can and will take care of everything. God will bring you through your place of need so that you can be made whole. A need doesn’t always necessitate a calling. I’ve learned that if a problem doesn’t have my name on it, I don’t need to pick it up. God’s bigger than me. Instead of heaviness and inner criticism, His truth brought His sweetness and lightness in my spirit and bones. He is healing me spirit, soul and body. Jesus is still in the healing business. Now my children are adults. Jesus’ tender healing love continues to manifest in their hearts, minds and bodies. Does that problem in front of you that seems to loom bigger than life have your name on it? If it doesn’t, you don’t need to pick it up. God’s bigger than you. He will take care of your every need. Let His love penetrate every fiber of your being.Love Makes Up for Practically Everything “Most certainly I tell you, unless you turn, and become as little children, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matt 18:3. Jesus is describing what He already has and wants you to have. Being childlike has nothing to do with immaturity. Being childlike means being innocent, trustful, fair minded. It means having the ability to make judgments free from discrimination or dishonesty. Have you ever noticed the candor of a child? They have the quality of being honest and straightforward in attitude and speech often sounding more mature than many adults! When we were walking in to the hospital to visit my sister-in-law who’d just had a baby, I’ll never forget Gabrielle when she was not more than 3 years old walking by a man smoking, her eyes riveted to that smoking stick. In a candid sweet declaration of innocent surprise she exclaimed, “He’s ‘moking!!” We all knew, including that poor man what she was saying. Caught between honesty and offense, I put my arm around little Gabrielle, while we walked a bit faster so she could hold on to her honesty and that man could finish his cigarette in peace. Having a childlike spirit embodies a loving heart. This is why it’s so important in God’s eyes. Being childlike keeps the wonder of life alive in your spirit. Don’t let the devil rob you of childlike wonder. Life’s disappointments do not change God’s nature. In his book “Recapture the Wonder,” Ravi Zacharias describes Jesus’ amazing promise of childlike joy in spite of life’s deepest disappointments. “The tragedy with growing up is not that we lose childishness in its simplicity, but that we lose childlikeness in its sublimity.“My wife and I were walking hurriedly to keep an appointment. We were elbowing our way through the mass of people, bobbing and weaving, a step here and a turn there, making the best speed we could. When waves of humanity descend from every direction it is inevitable for one to feel like a minute drop in a mighty torrent—unobserved, unimportant, almost nonexistent. It is the way with crowds. Such settings at once multiply and diminish the individual.“Yet one man stood out, and we could not help but find our gaze, almost with guilt, riveted upon his stooping figure. Our pace and, yes, our heartbeat, irresistibly slowed. We were both silent as we watched him—unkempt, unwashed, unshaven, and, I suppose, uncaring—as he burrowed through the garbage can on the sidewalk, tearing open any paper bag that might contain remnants of food. This is sobering to see anywhere, yet even more so in a land whose name is synonymous with abundance. But there he was, foraging almost like an animal for any edible morsel and stuffing it into his mouth.“Whenever we see a person whose whole being reveals the marks of such impoverishment my wife remarks, “To think that he was once a baby, held in the arms of his mother while she dreamed great dreams for him.” I suppose that only from a mother would these sentiments flow at such a sight. Her words conjure up the image of a mother lovingly cradling her tiny infant and stroking his face while she sings to him about his future. Being human we assume that hopes and dreams are made for us and that we are made for them. In some cultures parents consult astrologers and determine the baby’s name according to planetary alignments, and they celebrate with endless ceremonies to ensure a wonderful future. A baby throbbing with life is embodied promise. The birth day gives birth to more than a life—it gives birth to new hopes.” *“I would like to call it wonder, when life and daily living are possessed and driven by that sense which keeps the emotions in the balance of enchantment with reality. Can life be in tune with reality and also be enchanting without being escapist? It is this very hope that often lies in ruins even though we have attained our personal goals, professionally or economically. All too soon, for so many of us, wonder is swallowed up by wonder-killing reason or experience.” * * Zacharias, Ravi. Recapture the Wonder. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, TN. 2003. PP. 1-6.No matter what you’ve been through as a child, no matter how you’ve been as a parent, Jesus always extends His promise of forgiveness, joy and love. Resilience is as much a part of life as trauma. In his book, “Trauma-Proofing Your Kids”, Peter Levine states, “Resilience is the capacity we all possess to rebound from stress and feelings of fear, helplessness and overwhelm… People (especially young people), however, need not lose their resilience through wear and tear. On the contrary, we have the capacity to actually build and increase our resilience as we encounter the stresses and strains of life. Resilient children tend to be courageous.”* Jesus wants us to be as kind and vulnerable with children as He is with us. Will you receive Jesus’ promise of forgiveness, joy and love with a childlike faith? * Levine, Peter A. Kline, Maggie. Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents’ Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience. North Atlantic Books. Berkeley, CA. ERGOS Institute Press. Lyons, CO. 2008. P 1.It’s Never Too Late You can teach your kids what you believe but you reproduce who you are. As a toddler, Hannah our fourth and last child would walk around saying, “Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!” It would make me so happy. She was adorable. But then every once in a while I would hear, “Shoot! Shoot!” with her little angelic expression, curly ponytail with a big floppy bow, her long eyelashes and frilly onesy. And I would think to myself, “Oh! There goes me.” Being the baby of the family, she did get away with more, but it hurt to see my own hypocrisy. I had to learn to be congruent with myself before I had the power to be congruent with my kids. Cultivate Jesus’ presence in your heart so you can cultivate Jesus’ presence in your children. “Whoever receives one such little child in my name, receives me, and whoever receives me, doesn’t receive me, but him who sent me.” Mark 9:37. I had to die to myself in the midst of raising children, praying, “God let me grow up faster than my children!” There was no time for me to grow up before they did. I had to grow up while they did. It’s never too late to learn, grow or make amends when you have to. There are wonderful avenues of support that enable healthy maturity such as Bible studies, safe friends who share biblical values, retreats, therapy, Al-Anon, support groups, and self-help books. Whatever it takes, don’t be afraid to speak up and get help if you need it. It may save your life and the life of your child. You’re only as sick as your secrets. We are only as sick as our secrets. Confessing secrets sets you free from shame. Expressing your needs can open the doors for much needed help. Confessing God’s Word brings supernatural healing and restoration that only Jesus does. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you those areas in your life that need healing so that you can pass on the same healing. The greatest gift you can give your kids is the change you make within yourself.Love the Little People From little Zacchaeus who was too short to see Jesus, to the children in His lap, Jesus loves the little people. “Allow the little children, and don’t forbid them to come to me; for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to ones like these.” Matt 19:14. It took me a long time to learn my children’s love languages because they are all so different. Out of selfishness I would try lumping their needs together but it didn’t work because one of the four would end up feeling hurt. Listening feels like love. Learning to listen with my heart and understand their need felt like love to them. I have four beautiful, children who are all now adults. They are unique, creative, sensitive and independent minded. They each have different love languages. Courtney loves words of affirmation and gifts. Gabrielle loves quality time and words of affirmation. Jamie loves acts of service and words of affirmation. Hannah loves physical touch and gifts. They all love words of affirmation but also have different needs for love. What is your child’s love language?When they were young, my children needed a lot more physical touch. They were always holding their arms open waiting for a hug. Jesus loved hugging children. He took them in his arms, and blessed them, laying his hands on them. Mark 10:16. Hugging them, kissing them and physically being close felt like love to them when they were little. Don’t be afraid to hug and kiss your children, your grandchildren and even your great-grandchildren – a lot! In the book, “The Five Love Languages of Children,” Gary Chapman, Ph.D. and Ross Campbell, M.D.* describe the five love languages of children as:Physical Touch – Hugs and kisses, holding hands, playing together are all forms of physical love that shout, “I love you!” Words of Affirmation – Words of affection, praise, encouragement spoken in endearing gentle tones build a child’s spirit.Quality Time – When a child’s love tank is empty and attention is the only thing that will fill it, that child will go to almost any length to get what they need. Gifts – Gift giving is meant to be an expression of love not a substitute for emotional involvement. Acts of Service – A parent’s involvement in a project connects their child in love. * Chapman, Ph.D, Gary. Campbell, M.D., Ross. The five Love Languages of Children. Northfield Publishing. Chicago. 2005. PP. 29, 45, 59, 60, 75, 79, 89. * As your children grow, the priorities of their love needs change. In his book, “The five Love Languages of Teenagers,” Gary Chapman describes this shift:Words of Affirmation – Keep positive encouragement. Guard against criticism, an easy temptation during teen years.Physical Touch – Timing is everything during teen years. Hugging after an accomplishment or disappointment is affirming, but not when your teen is angry. You need discernment.Quality Time – Often found in inconvenient times, involves more listening and more time.Acts of Service – Whether it’s driving them or helping them with a project, service feels like love. Don’t use it for manipulating. Gifts - A tangible evidence of emotional love. ** Chapman, Gary. The five Love Languages of Teenagers. Northfield Publishing. Chicago. 2005. PP. 41,59, 73, 93, 107,108. * Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Let Jesus lead you, just as He led the children. We all have to start learning sometime. Listen to your children with your heart. Listening feels like love. Your children know when you’re trying. Jesus loves you. He’s listening to your heart with His heart. He will provide you with Holy Spirit understanding to know what your children need.Blessed to be a Blessing When each one of our children was born, Michael commissioned two angels to stand guard over each baby all the days of their life. This was his love blessing to his children. Even today as adults, they will mention how they have felt God’s presence protecting them from evil or harm in unusual circumstances. Michael was blessed to be a blessing to his children. How are you blessing your children? Pray and ask for Holy Spirit revelation.Jesus said, “Whoever receives one such little child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him that a huge millstone should be hung around his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:5-6. Jesus wants us to cherish our children’s spirits like a treasure. Words of discouragement grieve their tender spirits. It’s as easy to be a stepping-stone to the throne of Grace as it is to be a stumbling block. When you shift the focus in your own life to blessings and start speaking words of Life into your children, Jesus will reverse those words of curses into words of blessings. “But the LORD your God refused to listen to Balaam. He turned the intended curse into a blessing because the LORD your God loves you.” Deuteronomy 23:5.Dream Center Founder Tommy Barnett raised three beautiful children who all love and follow Jesus. “What did you do?” I asked him when my children were young. “So many pastors’ children fall away. What did you do that was different?” He looked at me and smiled. “I loved them.” He continued. “I made a lot of mistakes. There isn’t any one formula. There were times I had to apologize. But all my kids knew I loved them more than anything else.” Tommy was blessed to be a blessing to his children’s lives. God blesses you with His love so you can bless your own children with His love. Actions don’t lie. It’s not always in what you say but what you do. Tommy’s kids knew they were more important to their dad than ministry. Let your kids know they are more important to you than anything else. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to love them. And above all things be earnest in your love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8. Love makes up for just about everything. Don’t worry about doing parenting right. Just love your children. Love is always right! My children still appreciate thoughts and letters from my heart. They love receiving a quick text that is positive and loving.What are you facing with your child? How does it need to be addressed? If you were to write a letter, what would it look like? You may have a child, niece, nephew or grandchild God has placed on your heart. What would you want to say to have heart connection? Some of the following phrases may help you reach your children. All we really want is to be loved and belong. “Dear ________________,“Please know I hear your heart and that?my heart hears your fears and frustrations. ?What you say is valuable. Your opinion, your feelings and thoughts matter. I know I’m not perfect. And I want you to know I hear that you don’t think my opinion is always right. ?“Please also know that my heart loves you to a depth that I don’t know you’ll ever understand.? With that love comes great pain hearing that you’re so upset about this process.? This is why I’m writing to you. ??I need you to understand that when I made a decision to have children, I made a decision to give everything that I had, my body, my soul, my time and all the resources I had.?It is my personality that in whatever I do, to give it all I've got. ?I take seriously whatever responsibility is before me. ?Loving you has been by far the best thing that's ever happened in my life.?“It is because of this that I deeply desire this connection with you to hear me right now.? Because of our investment in each other's lives,?with all my joy and all my heart I ask that you today you give me this gift of listening and understanding where I’m coming from.?“From your heart, please understand that I am listening to you not just with my ears but with my heart.? I’ve always made sure you get to all your activities, interests, school, friends, orthodontist, doctor and whatever needs arose. ?It is my mission as a mom to see you in a place of independence and well-being. ??“I am listening to you. I care about what you feel and think. ?It is my sincere desire that you understand and give me this gift of peace and reconciliation.? I need this gift from you.? I love you more than you will ever know!”Jesus said so much about children so we’d understand the heart position we need to live out the Kingdom of God within us. Jesus wants us to rest and play with Him with the same heart attitude He showed the children when they played with Him. Be as kind and as vulnerable with the children in your life as He is with you. Jesus loves you so much!Children’s Prayer O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. ?I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night - but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.Inspired By Psalm 139.Each person is a child of God and worthy of courtesy and respect. Why is it so important to treat children with respect? See Deuteronomy 30:19; Matthew 18:7-10; Psalm 127:3-5; Matthew 25:40.Instead of a right or wrong way to raise children, how does God focus on principle? See 3 John 1:4; Genesis 18:19; 1 Corinthians 7:14; Colossians 3:21.Child Psychologist Kevin Leman says that as parents sometimes we need to “pull out the rug and let the little buzzards tumble.” It’s hard to step out of the way and let our children experience life’s hurts and failures. How can you do this with love? See Isaiah 43:1-7; 54:13; Philippians 4:6.Your children are your mission field. When do you tell your kids about Jesus? See 2 Timothy 4:1-5; 1 Peter 3:15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17.How important are boundaries and consequences with children? See Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs 1:8-9; Luke 2:51-52; 1 Peter 5:5.Create your own child blessing. Even if you don’t have kids, you probably know a child who needs prayer. Use any of the following: Genesis 22:18; Isaiah 54:13-17; Psalm 138:8; Hebrews 10:23; Galatians 6:9; Philippians 4:4; Romans 5:5; Philippians 4:19; Hebrews 13:5; 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 John 4:17-18; Colossians 3:15; Psalm 112:7-8. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what Scriptures pertain to your child. Family“Brother will deliver up brother to death, and the father his child. Children will rise up against parents, and cause them to be put to death. You will be hated by all men for my name’s sake, but he who endures to the end will be saved. But when they persecute you in this city, flee into the next, for most certainly I tell you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel, until the Son of Man has come.” ~ “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” “Behold, my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother.” ~ “A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and in his own house.” ~ “Allow the little children, and don’t forbid them to come to me; for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to ones like these.” ~ “Most certainly I tell you, there is no one who has left house, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or land, for my sake, and for the sake of the Good News, but he will receive one hundred times more now in this time, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land, with persecutions; and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last and the last first.” ~ “My mother and my brothers are these who hear the word of God, and do it.” ~ “Faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here.” ~ “Woman, behold your son!” ~ “Behold, your mother!” ~ “Peace be to you.”Matt 10:21-23; 12:48-50; 13:57; 19:14 Mark 10:29-31 Luke 8:21; 9:41 John 19:26, 27; 20:19.Memory Verse “For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother.” Matt 12:50.Enlarge Your Family Circle Jesus is always enlarging His family circle. “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” “Behold, my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother.” Matt 12:48-50. He opened up His family circle to include not just His physical family, but His spiritual family as well. My family is precious to me. My husband and children are awesome, each so uniquely wonderful with their own beautiful personalities. My family system is also very imperfect. There have been seasons where my family system became counterproductive, needing a lot of loving attention. We’ve dealt with just about every issue you can think of. Only in our brokenness did we acknowledge our need to change. Sometimes the pain has to hurt enough before we’re willing to make a change. We had to enlarge our physical family circle to include our spiritual selves. We put our love into action by learning to listen and becoming willing to change. We all go through the same trials in different ways. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. When your biological family lets you down, pray and let the Holy Spirit replace your love and belonging needs with the family of God. So many times over the years Jesus has spoken through my godly friendships that keep me healthy spiritually along with feeling loved and understood. Often God’s relationship provision gives what family can’t. Are you willing to enlarge your family circle? Lessons Learned Leave a Lasting LegacySometimes we need to learn our lesson and learn it again. Our family friend and Pastoral Counselor Jason Vallotton pointed out some principles we had grown slack in applying to our family. I can’t say I learned anything new. But I did see some strongholds in my life that needed to be broken. Sometimes you have to keep on keeping on. Repetition is the mother of learning. You need to practice to stay in shape. “So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors.” Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Give the devil a foothold and he’ll make it a stronghold. Let the devil keep the stronghold and he’ll make it a stranglehold choking the life right out of you. We had to stop the stronghold from becoming a stranglehold. Probably the biggest roadblock was our lack of compassion. “Woman, behold your son! …Behold, your mother!” John 19:26, 27. Even in His dying breath, Jesus’ compassion welled up in His heart ensuring His Mom would be cared for before He died. Empathy and compassion are in the very fiber of Jesus. Michael and I are both first born, driven perfectionists. Jason said, “Talk together. Ask questions. Then you can understand. Seek to understand. Reciprocate. When you start to reciprocate the love someone is giving, you establish connection. The only way it works well is if you have compassion. Most people don’t know what compassion really is and therefore don’t know how to express it. It is the ability to see, understand and sometimes feel what the other person is experiencing through the eyes of God. The beautiful thing about compassion is it takes you to places you never would go otherwise. You go way beyond what you’d ordinarily do for someone else. It’s not about just being there. It’s about being active. The inability to look at the other person through God’s eyes as a norm leads down a dangerous road. Compassion doesn’t take the problems away. It changes the way you interact with someone.” Compassion replaces judgment. Being more compassionate with each other, judging less and listening more to each other brought us peace and freedom. Try to ask more questions and use kind words. Implement a family culture of honor. It takes a lot of discipline. But your family is worth the work. Your heart can get hard without you even realizing it. Will you let Jesus replace your judgment with His compassion?It is never too late. It is never too late to repent or learn. We are focusing on pursuing truth and understanding. We are switching from performance to excellence. This is a big deal for two type A’s! This is so important because it takes the emotional overdrive out of communication. Excellence responds. Performance reacts. Assume the best in each other. What are your lessons? Are you living like a royal child of the King? You have the capacity to live like royalty and influence your environment because of the way you respond, not react. The lessons you learn leave a lasting legacy.Belong and Believe “Allow the little children, and don’t forbid them to come to me; for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to ones like these.” Matt 19:14. We all want to be loved and belong. We all want to feel like we’re cherished and belong to someone. The opposite of heart binding love is fear. The Holy Spirit revealed the fear that was driving our actions. Once we started moving out of a fear-based system into a love culture, the atmosphere began to gradually change. Keeping my mouth shut sure helped a lot. Taking the cotton out of my ears and putting it in my mouth went a long way. I learned that half the reason I talked was because I was afraid of losing control. I didn’t have any control anyway. Peace began replacing tension and misunderstanding. Staying silent instead of blurting out in tense moments can be an active way to seek God and His mighty intervention. You can’t take words back, so choose them wisely. Changing a fear-based belief system to a love-based belief system creates an atmosphere of love and belonging. A love-based culture protects its main priority:? one another.?? Fear-based is protecting ourselves. I love serving on the Dream Center Board in Los Angeles in its love-based culture. In an interview, Matthew Barnett explained how he modeled the Dream Center's approach after Jesus' approach: "Jesus didn't say, 'When you believe, we'll let you belong.' He allowed people to belong first in order that they may believe. That's one of the great things that compassion does. It opens up the door where people begin to understand that we're gonna love them unconditionally, whether they receive the message of Christ or if they don't. But it gets hard not to believe when people have loved you so long and have been so consistent in your life."Not being able to save everyone bothered Barnett early on, but time and experience resulted in hard-earned wisdom. He said, "I began to find that you can't let your heart be destroyed by the ones that fall on the wayside. You have to build upon something, and that's the success of the ones who do make it. Sixty percent of my staff are graduates of our Drug and Alcohol Rehab program. In our church, we've got ex-pimps, ex-murderers. And that's just the pastoral staff. When I started to see what God can do with these people, I began to realize that some of the finest people I've ever met are some of the most broken people I've ever met."** Replacement TherapyLike the family of God, we all want to feel like we’re loved and belong to someone. Jesus replaced familial love with agape love everywhere He went with everyone He met. “Most certainly I tell you, there is no one who has left house, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or land, for my sake, and for the sake of the Good News, but he will receive one hundred times more now in this time, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land, with persecutions; and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last and the last first.” Mark 10:29-31. Jesus is a debtor to no one. What you lose in serving and honoring Him will always be replaced beyond expectation. Replacement therapy is exchanging anything that is counterproductive for something that is productive. When you recognize a thought pattern that has been making you depressed and you replace it with a positive promise from God’s Word, you are using replacement therapy. Replacement therapy always brings healthy results. It may be substituting bad habits with good ones instead. What principles are you willing to use to replace the bad habits in your life that don’t work? We had to learn to put God first. God wants our family to be a place of rest and comfort but when our family becomes our primary resting place, it becomes idolatry. Are you giving your family to God? How are you loving your family? How do you love your spiritual family?I had to turn my heart back to God completely. He is my place of safety first. Keeping Jesus on the throne of my life gave me strength to put His principles first in my family. I had to see how I was using my family as an excuse to stay stuck in some bad habits. As a result there was a lot of disrespect and assumption. God replaced those bad habits with honor and understanding through my obedience and willingness to learn. This was my replacement therapy. What’s most important to each other is the connection you have with one another. I learned that bringing the darkness to light and letting God replace bad habits with healthy principles protect my valued family relationships. Are there any areas in your family life that need replacement therapy? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring any darkness to light. Ask God to show you what He wants you to replace it with. More Broken More LovedThis is what the Gospel tells author and Pastor Timothy Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, “The Gospel says that you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.” We are more broken and loved than we can possibly imagine. “Brother will deliver up brother to death, and the father his child. Children will rise up against parents, and cause them to be put to death. You will be hated by all men for my name’s sake, but he who endures to the end will be saved. But when they persecute you in this city, flee into the next, for most certainly I tell you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel, until the Son of Man has come.” Matt 10:21-23. Why are they betraying each other? Why is there a broken system? You may not agree with all your family members, but you can honor them. What we’re seeing here is conflict based on belief. Jesus knows what’s in your heart better than you do. Loving your family first will limit loving them with God’s love. Self love or self-centeredness always demands that we sacrifice our family for our own selfish ends. Don’t let the devil deceive you with self-seeking thinking. Fear is always self-seeking. Replace fear with honor. Are you experiencing discord in your family? The following relationship attributes are helpful in understanding what’s going on in family dynamics. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit if any of these areas need to be addressed in your heart. Change starts in your heart first. ??Fear based Love basedDisrespect?????????????????????????HonorAssume????????????????????????????????????????Seeking to understandDoubt?????????????????????????????????????????HopeIsolation??????????????????????????????????????ParticipationSelf seeking???????????????????????????????InterdependenceJudgment????????????????????????????????????MercyPoverty???????????????????????????????????????Investment willing to sacrificeKeeps the peace????????????????????????Value Honesty – Protects the priority?Keeping the peace was a big issue for me. I had to recognize my own fear. Fear-based thinking is always trying to keep the peace.? When unresolved issues brought tension, I thought if I kept everything peaceful constantly negotiating, my family would stay together. I believed this lie. I kept compromising to keep the peace. Instead, I lost respect. I learned that it’s ok to disagree and let go. It’s reasonable not to create expectation from someone who offers no support.? Each person needs to work out his or her own relationship with each other. This is recovery. I learned to work on the “You” Map that each family member has. This is how we understand each other. Things don’t always turn out the way I expect, but keeping Jesus Lord of my life keeps my peace. And each one of my family members understands deeply he or she is loved. Replacing counterproductive dynamics with healthy principles has brought our family greater peace. I don’t assume to know what’s going on inside someone else, but I do assume the best and not the worst. I seek to understand and listen with my heart and not my own agenda. These may be my issues but they’re pretty universal. Invest in relationship.? Wake up and ask yourself, how am I going to strengthen my relationship?? This creates investment for each other’s emotional bank accounts. Listen.? Listening is giving.? Engage in active listening. Get rid of judgment, fear and resentment in order to move forward.? Allow someone to say what they want to say and not regret or try to change it. Create relationship builders that work for your family.It really is all about Jesus’ love. You are more broken than you realize and more loved than you can ever imagine. Take baby steps. As I learned in Al-Anon, “It’s a cinch by the inch. It’s hard by the yard.” Be willing to work the work. To love someone is to understand them. Don’t seek agreement. Seek understanding. Understanding is more important than agreement. No matter what your family has been through God is still in the restoration business. “A man's heart plans his course, but Yahweh directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9. What this means to me is that when I walk down a path I did not intend to go, then I know it’s God. Don’t ever believe the devil’s lie that there is no hope. Don’t ever believe that there has been wasted pain in your family. You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 NLT. Jesus sees and stores each tear drop you have ever shed. He picked up the leftover pieces of bread. Do you think for a minute He would waste a single tear from your broken heart? “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4 NLT. Even if you are alone or estranged from your family let the Holy Spirit breathe new Life into your heart in the most unexpected ways. “Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Isaiah 30:18 NIV. Come back to Jesus. Will you wait for Him? He is always waiting for you! Stand on God’s Word in Warfare PrayerWhen family systems have strongholds such as dysfunctional thoughts and behavior, broken relationships, sickness and even a pattern of “accidents,” they need spiritual warfare prayer for breakthroughs. If you’ve seen these issues in your family, pray and ask God to reveal the root of the problem. Often the problem is only the symptom. Pray and ask God to give you a special Scripture to pray over your family. God’s Word brings healing and deliverance. Bethel Pastor Bill Johnson said, “Our deliverance begins when we are no longer impressed by the size of our problem.” There is no victory without a battle first. Don’t worry. The fight is fixed. God is infinitely greater than anything the devil tries to bring. God will bring the breakthrough you need.“And all your [spiritual] children shall be disciples [taught by the Lord and obedient to His will], and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children.You shall establish yourself in righteousness (rightness, in conformity with God’s will and order): you shall be far from even the thought of oppression or destruction, for you shall not fear, and from terror, for it shall not come near you.?Behold, they may gather together and stir up strife, but it is not from Me. Whoever stirs up strife against you shall fall and surrender to you.Behold, I have created the smith who blows on the fire of coals and who produces a weapon for its purpose; and I have created the devastator to destroy.But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.”Isaiah 54:13-17 AMPC.Family Prayer God’s Blessing Upon Our Family“Rise up, those who want to curse me, and listen!????Hear me, son of generational curses.God is not a man, so He does not lie.?????He is not human, so He does not change his mind.?Has he ever spoken and failed to act??????Has he ever promised and not carried it through?Listen, I received a command to bless;?????God has blessed, and I cannot reverse it!No misfortune is in His plan for __________;?????no trouble is in store for our family.?For the Lord our God is with us;????Praise?God Who has been proclaimed our King.?God brought us out of bondage;?????for us He is as strong as a wild ox.?No curse can touch __________;?????no magic has any power against God’s family.?For now it will be said of __________,?????‘What wonders God has done for our family!’ ~How beautiful are your tents, O __________;?how lovely are your homes, O family!They spread before me like palm groves,???like gardens by the riverside.?They are like tall trees planted by the Lord,?????like cedars beside the waters.Water will flow from our buckets;?Our offspring have all they need.?Our King will be greater than the most powerful;?????His kingdom will be exalted.God brought us out of bondage;?for us He is as strong as a wild ox.?He devours all the nations that oppose him,?????breaking their bones in pieces,??shooting them with arrows. ?Like a lion, __________ family crouches and lies down;?????like a lioness, who dares to arouse her??Blessed is everyone who blesses you, __________ family.”Inspired By Numbers 23:19-23; 24:5-9.How can you create an atmosphere of love in your family? See Ephesians 5:13-22; 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; 2 Corinthians 13:10; 1 Peter 4:8.Without the help of the Holy Spirit in our lives we will go our self-seeking ways even with those we love most. Self-love precipitates self deceit. See John 14:26; Psalm 51: 10-13; Ezekiel 18:31. How has He helped you?What brings about restoration in family relationships? See Ephesians 4:26, 29-31; James 2:13; 1 John 1: 8-9; 1 John 3:18.God has no grandchildren. We need not be anyone else’s savior or act as a go-between. How do you see God’s hope for every family member? Read 2 Peter 3:8-9; 2 Corinthians 6:2; 2 Corinthians 1:20.Broken families may be the norm, but healing families is God’s norm. How does He heal families in 1 Peter 5:7; Isaiah 53:5-6; Colossians 3:12-21.Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Read Romans 8:31-39. What is the Holy Spirit saying to you?Letting Go“Allow it now, for this is the fitting way for us to fulfill all righteousness.” ~ “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.” ~ “Haven’t you read what David did, when he was hungry, and those who were with him; how he entered into the house of God, and ate the show bread, which was not lawful for him to eat, neither for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the law, that on the Sabbath day, the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are guiltless? But I tell you that one greater than the temple is here. But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” ~ “Wherever you enter into a house, stay there until you depart from there. Whoever will not receive you nor hear you, as you depart from there, shake off the dust that is under your feet for a testimony against them. Assuredly, I tell you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!” ~ “So you say.” ~ “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have, and distribute it to the poor. You will have treasure in heaven. Come, follow me.” ~ “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter into the Kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to enter in through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.” ~ “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” ~ “The time has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Most certainly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life. If anyone serves me, let him follow me. Where I am, there will my servant also be. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” ~ “Don’t hold me, for I haven’t yet ascended to my Father; but go to my brothers, and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”Matt 3:15; 5:38-42; 12:3-8 Mark 6:10-11; 15:2 Luke 18:22, 24-25; 23:46 John 12:23-26; 20:17.Memory Verse“Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.” Matthew 5:42.ForgiveLetting go means letting God. It doesn’t mean giving up. You need to give God free rein of your life and not try to do things your way. Offense is often a big roadblock to letting go. “Haven’t you read what David did, when he was hungry, and those who were with him; how he entered into the house of God, and ate the show bread, which was not lawful for him to eat, neither for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the law, that on the Sabbath day, the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are guiltless? But I tell you that one greater than the temple is here. But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” Matt 12:3-8. I believe the biggest key to letting go of offense is living an attitude of forgiveness. I had to learn to stay sober in my heart when confronted with offense, not give judgment a foothold, and let compassion replace judgment. Letting go of offense enables me to keep a heart attitude of trusting God for everything. Forgiveness doesn’t mean negating the evil of a wrong committed. To forgive literally means to absolve from payment. There are some offenses that are so evil that only God can bring vengeance. It means turning the offender over to God in forgiveness. You forgive the person - not the evil. Al-Anon gave me healthy coping skills needed after growing up with alcoholism. It’s been a lifelong process to grow up and take personal responsibility. I lose what I don’t take responsibility for. I don’t want to lose myself. When sharing with a safe friend about a past offense she could tell by how I spoke it was still in the present. Eyes are the window to the soul, Jesus said. I see Jesus in Tyla’s eyes every time I see her. She lovingly looked steadily at me and said, “When you bury resentment, you bury it alive.” Well, that shook me up. I had to see that whatever I’m resentful for I’m guilty of. Letting go of judgment opened the door for God to replace it with compassion. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? You are only as sick as your secrets. Don’t be afraid to find a safe friend to confide in. God has something better for you. Let Go and Let God“Allow it now, for this is the fitting way for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Matt 3:15. Jesus says in the NIV translation, “Let it be.” There is nothing stagnant about what Jesus is saying. In his humility and ignorance, John the Baptist couldn’t see how God would have him baptize the Savior of the world. But Jesus was simply asking John to be part of the Holy Spirit flow of life that was fulfilling the Word of God. Letting go means choosing to turn your limited energy and resources over to God Who has infinite energy and resources. Letting to and letting God take care of your problem or care actually means “amping” it up. Amp or ampere is a unit for measuring the rate at which electric current flows. This is why letting go is such a powerful principle in the Kingdom of God. Letting go means you are getting out of the way so the infinite power of God can flow through your problem and circumstances. Whatever you’re letting go of, God has a better replacement. My friend Chuck Parry is the Associate Director of the Bethel Healing Rooms at Bethel Church in Redding California. In his ministry he has seen miracle after miracle. He paints one of the best word pictures of letting go I’ve ever seen. In his book, “Free Falling”* Chuck shares, “When you find yourself feeling like you’re standing in the open door of a plane at 10,000 feet, and the pit of your stomach is somewhere in your throat, and you’re looking out into open space with nothing more tangible before you than air, and it’s time to leap out into it, and you think you have a parachute in the pack on your back and you’re almost certain it will open, then you can be sure the adventure is about to begin. “That’s how I always feel when I’m leaping into the miraculous. The unseen realm is just too invisible and we can’t grab hold of it very securely. But I’m certain it’s what we’re created for…”* As scary as what Chuck describes sounds, it’s the way God has called us to live. “for we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7. It’s why he has seen so many miracles of supernatural healing and deliverance over the years. Letting go to trust God opens your heart and mind to miracles in your life you’ve never thought of before. Where are these areas in your life you’re still holding on to?If you don’t let go you will never know the joy of being caught by God. Chuck recounts freefalling into God’s grace when called to a mission trip to Russia. “Arriving in Moscow was a unique experience. We could still feel the atmosphere of 70 years of oppression hanging heavily over the country, like the heaviness of the hefty, dark steel-pipe pieces welded together into a massive sculpture and hanging so that it completely covered the ceilings in the airport. Art with a message: Heaviness. And there were teenagers who prowled the airport corridors wearing camo and carrying automatic weapons. We had to go through some sort of government tourist-visa protocol, and found ourselves in a crowded office where the officials sounded like they were yelling at one another in Russian. We were directed to an English-speaking woman named Ludmilla, who set us up with a hotel and checked our security status. She spoke kindly, in a way that was uncommon and very comforting. I asked her if she was a Christian. “No. I would like to be, but I sin.”“I’ve got great news for you…” and I told her about the Great Exchange of her sin for God’s sinlessness. Almost too good to be true. She opened up and I introduced her to Jesus. “Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ Jesus, and makes manifest the sweet aroma of the knowledge of God everywhere we go.” 2 Corinthians 2:14-16. She officially asked our purpose in Russia, and we told her we wanted to buy thousands of bibles and give them away everywhere we went. But we didn’t know where we could buy them. She told us she would check into it. That was one of our only experiences with communicating in English for the next few days. “The lineup of cab drivers shouting at us in Russian and pulling at our luggage, and the general run-down appearance of the airport lobby added to the feeling that we were completely out of our element. One taxi driver attracted us with his lit-up friendly face and his remarkable ability to communicate through pantomime. His name was Victor and we hit it off right away. We stepped out into the freezing December Russian winter night and drove through almost empty streets. None of the cars had headlights on, and there were abandoned vehicles all along the route. It was eerie and kind of post-Armageddon. I remember being constantly surprised that this world super power was a third-world country. Victor found our hotel and gave us his phone number for future reference. We went to our rooms and thanked God for meeting all of our needs and opening more doors for us. I felt as if I had been in the open door of a cargo plane at 10,000 feet, and a voice had said “Jump,” and I had jumped. Here I was, free-falling through time and distance with nothing under control, only the sure but irrational hope that a ‘chute would open. And it did. “Ludmilla phoned in the morning and told us that the Russian Baptist Church was printing the New Covenant on the former Soviet printing presses and charging the equivalent of 11 cents apiece for them. “Thanks be to God…”“It just so happened that there had been an overnight financial collapse in the economy and the ruble had dropped in value from 40 rubles to the dollar to 1,200 rubles to the dollar. Overnight. Great for our exchange rate; terrible for their economy. All the banks were closed, and we asked a young man to interpret the sign on one of them. He told us it said something like: “Closed for technical difficulties.” He was right.“We called Victor and he waved us into the cab and took us through the city to several closed banks, finally finding possibly the only one open in Moscow. As I started to get out, he grabbed my arm to stop me and, pointing to my pack, dramatized dumping everything in my backpack onto the floor of the cab and then taking the pack inside. I didn’t realize what $1,000 would look like in wads of small bills. I felt like I had robbed the bank, as the manager counted and bundled and stacked the bills and then helped me fill my pack with them.”*Give and Live With All Your Heart“You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have, and distribute it to the poor. You will have treasure in heaven. Come, follow me.” Luke 18:22 Jesus was asking this man to let go of everything that was precious to him because it prevented him from following Jesus. What is in your life that you are not willing to let go of? It may be preventing you from following Jesus fully. As an unconventional holy man of God, letting go for Chuck meant giving and living with all his heart: “The next day we bought bibles and carted them all in boxes through the narrow hotel lobby, up the rickety and lurching 1940’s elevator, and piled them into huge stacks that filled our rooms, which were both two-room suites. Each day we packed as many boxes of bibles as we could carry onto little folding hand-carts or into the cab, and took them to different places to distribute them. Remarkable and delightful things happened.”* You Might be Giving to Jesus“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.” Matt 5:38-42.“Victor took us to Vladimir, an ancient city surrounded by an earthen mound for a defense wall. It was 14 below zero. We arrived at a Russian Orthodox cathedral built in 1157 just as the bells were ringing and the service was letting out. Flocks of babushkas, Russian grandmothers bundled up and wearing head scarves tied under their chins, emerged from the church. We offered each one a bible: “Biblia … podarak … besplatno …” Bible, a gift, free of charge … They held them to their breasts, cried, kissed us up and down our faces, and blessed our children’s children. It was memorable. I thought about their generation being possibly the last to have seen, held, and read the bible in freedom. Everywhere we went we experienced the same reaction. Seventy years without the bible had created both hunger and curiosity.”* Chuck was giving to Jesus in the people. How easy it would have been to be angry with a country that had denied the people their faith for so many years. But compassion opened the door to Holy Spirit unlimited love that flowed into Chuck’s heart. It takes love and wisdom to see that a problem is the problem and not the person. We live in a fallen world where replacing anger and strife with love and joy makes the world a better place. You may not be able to make a difference in the world like Chuck did, but you can make a difference in the world around you by giving a loving joyful attitude toward everyone God puts in you path today. What can you do today to make the world around you better?Everything?Jesus doesn’t want just part of you. He wants all of you. Chuck continues: “We went to street corners, church, Red Square, Moscow University, a children’s hospital, train stations, anywhere we could find a crowd, though mostly we generated the crowds. What we found was that we really wanted to communicate with the people as well as bless them with bibles. So we called Dima and Dima. They had met Jesus in a rally in the stadium that summer and were crazy about Him. So they had decided to quit their studies at the university and study Jesus instead. They loved the idea of going around with some crazy Americans and telling people about His Love. I fell in love with them too, so we went all over the city together. “I remember one particular night on Red Square. Nighttime starts at about three o’clock in the afternoon in the winter there, and the Russian young people party until around two in the morning. As we entered Red Square, we noticed there was a long barricade that stretched all the way across the middle of the square, with only a small opening in the center. It funneled everyone crossing the square through that single gate. Let’s set up there! We piled our cartons of bibles by the gate and gave them away to all, creating quite a bottleneck in the traffic flow. We handed out bibles and declared the goodness and love of God, with the Dimas assisting and interpreting. It got a little wild, and I had lost sight of my Dima for a while, when he came up to me and said a man wished to speak to me. “I approached a distinguished looking gentleman in his fifties who stood tall in his long black dress overcoat. His hair was silver, but what caught me were his eyes. They were ageless, like deep pools of light blue filled with a love and depth that made me feel like I was in the Presence of Jesus, and I was overwhelmed by the sensation of purity and stature and greatness. He pulled out a crumpled brown paper bag from his pocket and slid an extremely worn, small leather bible from it. As he spoke his face lit up, radiating excitement, passion, humility, and love. Dima interpreted. “I spent 14 years in a prison labor camp for preaching this book, and now here you are on Red Square and giving them away for free to all. See what God has done. I praise Him and I thank you.”“I took his hand and held it and looked into his eyes. Actually, I couldn’t stop looking into them. My eyes were welling up with tears. ‘No. Thank you, sir.’ I felt as if I had looked into absolute holiness and lived through it.”* “The time has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Most certainly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life. If anyone serves me, let him follow me. Where I am, there will my servant also be. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 23:24-26 This precious man had lived Jesus’ words. And after fourteen years in prison he lived to see God’s Word, the very thing he was willing to die for come to life. * Parry, Chuck. Free Falling: True Stories of One Man’s Leap into the Miraculous. . 2010. PP. 104-108. Back Cover. Don’t let the devil tempt you out of the great God seat. Are you willing to let go and let God replace your brokenness with His life and hope? You won’t know until you let go. Letting go means sitting in the great God seat. Faith is not a struggle – it is a rest. Letting Go Prayer No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the LORD. ~ I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. ~ Our help is from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. ~But I will keep on hoping for your help; I will praise you more and more. ~When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." ~Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. ~In hope against hope he believed, ~Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. ~ This hope will not disappoint.For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. ~ I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.Inspired By Proverbs 21:30; Psalm 27:13; 124:8; 71:14; John 11:4; Romans 4:17-18, 20; 5:5; Revelation 22:13.Letting go is an act of faith. How does your faith bring peace and joy? See Romans 5:1-11; Hebrews 12:2; 1 Peter 1:8; Romans 15:13.Sharing with others is a reflection of God’s good nature. It helps us hold on to our faith. The Concordant translation of 1 Tim 6:15 says He is the Happy Potentate. He is a happy all-powerful God! What can you do to share God’s wonderful nature? See 1 Timothy 6:11-21; Galatians 6:8-10; Luke 6:38; 2 Corinthians 9:6-7.Read Psalm 37:1-8, 25-29. What are some of the things David did to let go and let God take care of him? What are some of the blessings in V 25-29?In God’s economy letting go means gaining more. Read Philippians 4:11-19. How can you apply this to your life?What happens when you trust God? Read Proverbs 3:5-6; 1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22. Sometimes we need help forgiving others, especially ourselves. Pray the following prayer out loud to God inserting the name of someone you’ve held offense against or even write your name: “Heavenly Father, in Jesus’ Name, thank You for creating __________ in Your image. With Your help, and with all my heart, I forgive __________ for not becoming all You created __________ to be. I realize now that __________ needed the healing that I am now receiving. Someway and somehow as I accept and forgive __________, may their (my) life be all You ever meant it to be. Help me to forgive __________ all __________ offenses against me. I accept __________ as an unhealed and needy person. There but for Your grace go I. Thank You for all You created __________ to be, even when I fail to see it. Give me eyes to see. I will look for the real person You intended __________ to be and affirm it whenever I see it. I look to You now for the love and affirmation I always wanted so badly from __________. Love __________ through me in Jesus’ name. Amen.”Intimacy“I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you hid these things from the wise and understanding, and revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for so it was well-pleasing in your sight. All things have been delivered to me by my Father. No one knows the Son, except the Father; neither does anyone know the Father, except the Son, and he to whom the Son desires to reveal him.” ~ “All things have been delivered to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is, except the Father, and who the Father is, except the Son, and he to whomever the Son desires to reveal him.” ~ “Blessed are the eyes which see the things that you see, for I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see the things which you see, and didn’t see them, and to hear the things which you hear, and didn’t hear them.” ~ “You know neither me, nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” ~ “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and I do nothing of myself, but as my Father taught me, I say these things. He who sent me is with me. The Father hasn’t left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” ~ “If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say that he is our God. You have not known him, but I know him. If I said, ‘I don’t know him,’ I would be like you, a liar. But I know him, and keep his word. Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day. He saw it, and was glad.” ~ “Who are you looking for?” ~ “I am he.” ~ “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.” ~ “Come and eat breakfast.” Matt 11:25-27 Luke 10:22, 23-24 John 8:19, 28-29, 54-56; 18:4, 5 Rev 3:20; John 21:12Memory Verse “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”Revelation 3:20.Sweet Simplicity True intimacy is found in the sweet simplicity of Jesus’ love. He is the most wonderful Man I’ve ever known. He speaks with power and authority, yet with pure love and kindness. “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you hid these things from the wise and understanding, and revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for so it was well-pleasing in your sight. All things have been delivered to me by my Father. No one knows the Son, except the Father; neither does anyone know the Father, except the Son, and he to whom the Son desires to reveal him.” Matt 11:25-27. Born in 1614, Brother Lawrence lived his life in the sweet simplicity of Jesus’ love. He served as a lay brother in a Carmelite monastery in Paris. He was so grounded in his humanity that he spiritually soared. He physically walked with a limp, knew the imperfections of his human nature and embraced the all-encompassing love of Jesus. In his book, “The Practice of the Presence of God”* he told God that he did not deserve His favors, but that God continued to bestow them in abundance. “Brother Lawrence suffered a troubled mind over thoughts of damnation for four years! He had suffered a great deal. But at last he saw that his troubles issued from his lack of faith. Since that discovery, perfect freedom and abundant joy lived in him. He had placed his sins between himself and God (so to speak), to tell God he certainly did not deserve His favors. But what a beautiful reality! God showered him with all kinds of favors in abundance. “The secret: Ask God in a spirit of genuine diligence. After a little care and after a little time, we will discover that His love excites us to continual conversation with God with no difficulty…. He had resolved to make loving God the purpose of everything he did. This way of relating to God brought full satisfaction. Even picking up straw gladdened his heart, for reaching down to the ground to get the straw, if done to show love to God, made him happy. The clue? Loving God and nothing else, not even God’s gifts…“The rest of the day I applied my mind, even in the flow of business, to the presence of God. I considered Him always with me and in me. At length I came habitually to practice the presence during the time set apart. When I finally saw what was happening, my heart leapt for joy and comfort washed over me. Something else – this practice gave me a view of God so high only the eyes of faith inside me could even begin to comprehend Him with any kind of satisfaction. “Well, that gives you my beginning, and yet I must tell you that for the first ten years I suffered a great deal. I feared I did not devote myself to God as I wished. Also, my past sins bugged me. In contrast, I saw the great unmerited favors God did for me – these things caused my sufferings. During this time I often fell, but got up, dusted myself off, and went on. Sometimes my perception said: Everyone stands against me, reason stands against me, even God stands against me. I held on by faith alone… I just make my business this: to persevere in His holy presence. I stay there by a simple attention and by an absorbing passionate regard for God which I want to call an actual presence of God.”** Demaray, Donald E. Edited and Paraphrased. The Practice of the Presence of God: Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection. Alba House. New York, NY. 1997. PP. 10-11. 9. 49-50. 52.Practicing the palpable presence of God means living in the sweet simplicity of Jesus’ love every day. Listen to Brother Lawrence’s book.* He told God that he expected that after the pleasant days God had given him, he should have his share of pain and suffering. But he was not uneasy about it, knowing very well that as he could do nothing of himself, God would not fail to give him the strength to bear them. When occasion of practicing virtue offered, he addressed himself to God saying, “Lord, I cannot do this unless You enable me.” Then he received strength that was more than sufficient.* Jesus loves you with a sweet, tender, gentle love. Placing your sins between yourself and God blocks intimacy. Let Jesus remove the sins that hinder intimacy between yourself and God. Will you love Him the way He loves you? * Perceiving is SeeingBrother Lawrence lived a childlike faith that gave him eyes to see and ears to hear Jesus in every area of his life. He knew Jesus intimately. He was blessed to have an intimate relationship with his Savior. “Blessed are the eyes which see the things that you see, for I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see the things which you see, and didn’t see them, and to hear the things which you hear, and didn’t hear them.” Luke 10:23-24. You are blessed with eyes to see and know Jesus. Even some of the most powerful people today have never seen Jesus. They have no perception of Who Jesus Is. Knowing Jesus doesn’t mean someone who believes differently than you is the enemy. Being on Jesus’ side means being on the same side as each person you meet. This is true love. “When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”“Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Lord’s army.”At this, Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence. “I am at your command,” Joshua said. “What do you want your servant to do?”The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did as he was told.” Joshua 5:13-15 NLT. Are you seeing Jesus in each person you meet? Joshua was in battle mode. God was about to bring down the walls of Jericho. But that’s the point. God was about to do it, not Joshua. So when Joshua saw the man with the sword he did not perceive God’s presence. Pastor Aaron Jayne’s father had been a pastor who had an affair, leaving his wife and children. Instead of surrounding them with love the church turned its back on this precious family. Aaron remembers as a little boy not understanding why none of his friends would play with him anymore. When his mom had to go to work, no one from the church would help. So his mom dropped her three sons off with her neighbor who happened to be lesbian. She and her friends showed Aaron and his brothers more of Jesus’ unconditional love than his condemning church. We need to be careful that the enemy is not us. The “problem” is the problem, not the person. The enemy here was the spirit of discrimination and rejection coming from the father that destroyed intimacy. There is a little bit of the centurion who killed Jesus in every one of us. I need to always stand on the side of love. Jesus calls us not to stand against anyone, but to stand on His side of love. Do you perceive God’s presence when you are on the battleground of life? Are you seeing Jesus in your neighbor? Any form of adultery is a smokescreen for broken intimacy. The world declares sex as the ultimate form of intimacy. This is a lie from the devil. Sex is not about an act; it is an emotional and spiritual issue. Focus on where you are with God in the moment. Learn to ask, “God who do You want me to be right now? Who do You want me to be in this moment?” If you answer this honestly you will stay close to God. Think and act by what the Bible says, not the world. Sex is really about getting a deep spiritual need met. When you let God meet your deepest need, you won’t want it from pornography or anyone else. Pornography is a selfish act rooted in self-centeredness. A friend in recovery from pornography addiction was courageous enough to share his story. He began to stop seeing women as objects. As he saw them as human beings with lives, he started getting depressed. Pornography no longer had the same effect on him. “I began to see these women as human beings with families – like me, getting groceries, picking up their kids at school. I didn’t want to look at them anymore.” Holy Spirit revelation set this man free from bondage. God gave him eyes to see the women through Jesus’ eyes of respect and dignity. The Holy Spirit showed him that the root problem wasn’t a physical need for sex, but a spiritual need for intimacy. God created sex to be a good thing. Within marriage, with healthy boundaries sex is not a selfish act, but an expression of God’s love for the other person. It becomes an act of worship. ?Jesus said in Matthew 19:5, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Sex brings intimacy when God is in the middle, according to His Word. God’s practical laws lead us to His spiritual principles. The physical act of sex in God’s eyes reflect the spiritual principle of Oneness with Him. “The glory which you have given me, I have given to them; that they may be one, even as we are one; I in them, and you in me, that they may be perfected into one; that the world may know that you sent me, and loved them, even as you loved me.” John 17:22-23. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for revelation to replace “sexual need” for true spiritual need. He will replace your void with true intimacy.There are four Greek words describing love: eros, stergo, phileo and agape. ?Eros or sexual love, not found in the New Testament, implies a demand for love, not a giving love. Stergo is devotion to one’s family. ?Phileo is affection such as fondness between good friends. ?Agape is beloved sacrificial love.? The Concordant Bible* definition of agape (noun) is a complex emotion arousing appreciation or delight in and desire for the presence of its object, as well as to please and promote its welfare.? Phileo or fondness is aroused by the qualities of its object while agape love goes out to the utterly unworthy. * Agape love has no strings attached.? It isn’t looking for what it can get but for what it can give.? God calls us to live with agape love.* Concordant Literal New Testament. Concordant Publishing Concern. Canyon Country, CA. 1983. p. 186.Gentle Like a Feather Jesus’ love is so tender and gentle, like a feather that gently brushes by your shoulder, you might wonder to yourself, “What was that? Did I really feel something or was that my imagination?” Jesus said in John 8:19, “You know neither me, nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” God’s love for Jesus and Jesus’ love for God is so complete, they are in tune with Each Other’s every thought, feeling, emotion, understanding and intention. The Greek word “know” is eido meaning to perceive with the outward senses, to perceive with the mind. The original term of eido is oida which means a possessed or intuitive knowledge. This is an important distinction vs. ginosko meaning an acquired or experiential knowledge. In John 8:19, Jesus is sharing a possessed knowledge of His Father, a knowledge and understanding that doesn’t change. If I am not sensitive to staying in tune with Jesus, I may miss His presence. When I came to know or oida Jesus, I felt like I’d been introduced to a new friend who was really special. I knew in my heart that He was my Savior and Lord, but it took years of creating “history” together, nurturing our intimacy through many life trials that brought me to truly know or ginosko Jesus. “We are [children] of God. Whoever is learning to know God [progressively to perceive, recognize, and understand God by observation and experience, and to get an ever-clearer knowledge of Him] listens to us; and he who is not of God does not listen or pay attention to us. By this we know (recognize) the Spirit of Truth and the spirit of error.” 1 John 4:6 AMPC. How do you know or ginosko Jesus? What experiences have nurtured intimacy with your Savior that brought you to truly know or ginosko Jesus?So many times I believe God speaks to me in ways that are so gentle that I will miss it if I don’t keep my intimacy with Him. Elijah was intimate with God. He knew and loved Him. “And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire [a sound of gentle stillness and] a still, small voice. When Elijah heard the voice, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.” 2 Kings 19:11-13 AMPC. Other translations read in verse 12, there was the sound of a gentle whisper or blowing. Jesus may be speaking to you in a way that is so gentle, that unless you are listening you may miss what He is saying. Because Elijah was intimately acquainted with God, he heard God’s soft still voice. Can you hear God’s gentle whisper to you? God shakes the shakable so the unshakable remains. “This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.” Hebrews 12:27 NLT. Don’t worry about what gets shaken. Hold on to God’s unshakable, soft still voice that beckons you. You Are Not Alone I may walk this life alone with Jesus but I am never truly alone. When I lay my head on the pillow at night, it’s me and Jesus. “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and I do nothing of myself, but as my Father taught me, I say these things. He who sent me is with me. The Father hasn’t left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” John 8:28-29. Jesus’ heart was inclined to His Father. When your heart is inclined to Jesus He never leaves you alone. Being with Jesus means being in the center of His will for your life. One of the worst things about hell will be the isolation experienced as a result of being separated from God. Don’t let anything to separate you from God’s love. It will get pretty crowded in my bed at night if I bring in all the problems and issues that compete for attention. And "don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT. What’s in your bed tonight? Are you giving your issues to Jesus so you can sleep in peace? Keeping intimacy with Jesus requires spiritual warfare. I need to remove the roadblocks that keep me from God. “We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. ?We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NLT. Capturing crazy thoughts and giving them to God pleases Him. When you do what’s pleasing to the Lord, He won’t leave you alone. When you feel at peace with God, even when you “feel” alone, your faith assures you He is with you. Quickly turn your issues and thoughts over to God. Don’t hold on to deconstructive thoughts and thought patterns. And quickly He will help you keep your peace. “And the God of peace will quickly crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.” Romans 16:20. God is so good and faithful to replace demonic thoughts with His peace and grace. Reading Scripture, reading a Just Jesus topic, listening to the audio Bible or listening to worship music before falling asleep at night replaces turbulent thoughts from the day with peaceful thoughts and feelings of God. My relationship with other people is a good barometer of my relationship with Jesus. When my closest relationships are good, then it’s a pretty good sign that I’m good with God. If there’s a problem or unresolved conflict then I need to ask God to show me where I’m off track or reveal what I’m not seeing. How do your relationships look? Are there any roadblocks that need to be addressed? Understanding is more important than agreeing.God wants you to develop a relationship with Him so that you hear from Him for yourself. So often people ask, “Would you pray for me? I don’t know what God’s will for my life is.” They want me to give them a word to tell them what God is saying. God has no in-laws, relatives or grandchildren. They may want a word from me, but God wants them to hear for themselves. He wants you to hear from Him yourself. Develop your own personal relationship with God. He longs to be close with you. He loves you deeply. He wants you to nurture your relationship with Him so that you hear from Him for yourself. Whatever God speaks will always line up with His Word.Usually I don’t hear God’s voice because I’m not spending time listening. In my quiet time I spend twenty percent talking and eighty percent listening. God already knows what I’m going to say anyway, so I may as well listen. Whether it’s first thing in the morning, creating a quiet time-out during the day or at bedtime, take quality time to read God’s Word and pray. The more you read His Word, the more you will know His Voice. God will speak to you out of your relationship with Him. Pray before opening your Bible and ask the Holy Spirit, “What do You want me to see in Your Word right now?” He loves you and wants to spend time with you.Oneness is a deep unity. It exposes brokenness. It leads to conflict. It brings peace. Years ago, anger was an issue from the pain of an offense that now I can’t even remember. It was an intense spiritual battle. But I do vividly recall how God impressed me to leave that anger at the cross. He replaced my anger with peace. I had to work through the process of anger, pain, offense, acceptance, and then serenity. When Jesus takes your pain He always replaces it with something good. He never leaves you hanging. In this vision I was in a ship that I was navigating, caught in a turbulent storm. The air was hot. As tempestuous as the storm was, suddenly the Holy Spirit showed up. I let the Holy Spirit blow out the demonic deception out of my sails. He breathed into the sails of my ship His fresh breath of Life. The ocean became calm so I could sail smoothly, out of the hot demonic darkness into the balmy breeze of Life. Recently, my daughter Courtney shared Amanda Cook’s song “The Voyage.”* Listening to it felt like the Holy Spirit vision He gave me years before. What are you stuck in? Pray and ask the Holy Spirit what He wants to replace it with. Jesus wants to be one with you. He always replaces it with something good.* Just Love JesusThere is no such thing as a good divorce. Even in the worst circumstances of abuse, there is still the need to grieve not only the hurt and pain of abuse but also the pain of what was hoped for, but never was. It’s like losing an arm or a leg, but constantly feeling the phantom pain of what’s no longer there. When I was in my early twenties I went through a painful divorce. I can remember crying until I couldn’t cry any more. My nose constantly sniffled 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I felt so lonely and abandoned. I don’t even know how I managed to go to work every day and function. One night in bed my grief felt overwhelming. My body craved an intimate physical hug that would never be. The physical pain of loneliness was so great I cried out in desperation, “Jesus! Jesus! Please hug me. Please!” I will never forget that moment. Immediately I felt a supernatural warmth, peace and love that came straight from the heart of Jesus. The moment He heard my heart cry, He replaced that overwhelming grief with His tender, sweet gentle love. We all go through seasons of grief and pain that can be overwhelming. Sometimes Jesus may be the Only One Who truly understands. Will you cry out to Him? Will you let Him in? When I look back on that painful season of my life, what is most significant is that I saw that God was bigger than my grief. He took my hand and led me through the wilderness literally into the promised land. Turning to Jesus in everything, every way, every day, I would lay prostrate on the floor in prayer begging Him for His help. Pain is the doorway to healing and I came to ginosko or know experientially Jesus in a deeper, more understanding way. All I really did is to just love Jesus. Will you let Jesus into the deepest crevices of your heart? He will love you and care for you with an unconditional love. Come back to Jesus. Will you love Him above all else?Give what you don’t have. It is a dichotomy that works. Build what you want in your life by giving it to others. When I feel lonely or unloved, I do things for others that I would like for myself. How many times have you said to someone, “I love you!” today? Replace “Hi” with “I love you!” and mean it! Say it with your eyes and body language. Saying “I love you” means you’re willing to lay down your life, get out of your comfort zone, and walk alongside that person in whatever they need. This is what Jesus has called us to do. He said in John 15:12-14, “Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” The Holy Spirit supernaturally changed my heart that was so selfish. I always wanted things my way and still do. But making Jesus Lord of my life changed my heart’s desires. I want relationship with others now more than I want my way.Let Jesus replace the self-centeredness in your heart with His Love centeredness. Saying “I love you” means, “I see you. I care about you. You are worthy.” Each person is a child of God, worthy of love, courtesy and respect. Learning to say “I love you” and put feet to your words makes your life richer and fuller. It’s not always convenient, but Jesus walks with you along the rough rugged road of life. Are you seeing Jesus in everyone you meet? Intimacy Prayer Thank You Lord, for Your wonderful kindness, tolerance and patience that leads me to repentance. You understand me. Please give me a gentle humble heart like Yours. Open my heart to understand that we are one in spirit. Your eyes will be open and Your ears are attentive to every prayer made in my heart for You. ?For You have chosen me and set me apart to be holy - a place where Your name will be honored forever. You will always watch over me, for our time together worshipping You is dear to Your heart. I have Your commandments and keep them. I love You Lord Jesus! Thank You for loving me. Thank You that you love me and show Yourself to me even with compassion as for a child. The love You lavished on me is so great, You call me Your child. You are truly my Shepherd, my Father, my Love.Inspired By Romans 2:4; Matthew 11:29; John 17:21; Psalm 23:1; 2 Chronicles 7:15-16; John 14:21; Psalm 103:13; 1 John 3:1; Psalm 23:1; 1 John 4:19.Intimacy needs to be guarded. How is oneness broken? See James 4:1; Joshua 5:13-15; Matthew 7:14.Can you know God without Jesus? See John 6:44; 16:7-11; Romans 5:12-21; John 14:6.Look up “intimacy” in the dictionary. Read Matthew 13:10-11; John 15:15-13; Colossians 2:2-3; 1 John 2:20. What does this tell you about how Jesus feels about you? How do you keep your intimacy with Jesus? See James 4:8; Proverbs 4:23-27.What does John 17:20-26 tell you about the magnitude of Jesus’ love for you?Read 1 John 4:7-21. What does God’s love in and through you look like?How to Know JesusGod loves you and created you to know Him personally. He expresses this love in His Word: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” John 3:16; 17:3. He knows you and wants you to know Him! Sin separates you from God, preventing you from knowing Him. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. Sin created the natural willful desire you have to do your own thing. This causes spiritual separation from a Holy God that leads to death. “The wages of sin is death.” Romans 6:23. Sin also created the God void in your soul that can be filled only by Jesus. People try all sorts of different things to satisfy the longing in their hearts.Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for our sin. He is the only Way to God. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us...Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time... Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ ” Romans 5:8; 1 Corinthians 15:3-6; John 14:6.We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. Then we can know God personally and experience His love. We must receive Him. We receive Jesus by faith. Receiving Jesus means experiencing a new birth! “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' ” John 1:12; Ephesians 2:8.9; John 3: 5-7.We receive Jesus by personal invitation. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20. Receiving Jesus into our hearts means turning from self and trusting Him to come into our lives, forgiving us of our sins and making us what He wants us to be. We receive Jesus by faith as an act of our will. Ephesians 2:8 discusses the gift of salvation: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God...” The only act of your will needed is to believe and receive.Pray the following to ask Jesus into your heart:Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. Please come into my heart as my Savior and my Lord. Thank You for forgiving me of my sins and giving me eternal life. I turn my will over to You. Make me the person You want me to be. Praise You! Thank You. Help me trust in You. Amen.Do not follow feelings. Depending on feelings can be deceptive. Put your faith in the fact of God’s Word and His promises for you. As you fill up with His Word, your feelings will follow your faith in what He says. Pray to God regularly and ask to be led by the Holy Spirit. Read the Bible so you can become more intimately acquainted with God’s ways.Find good friends who know Jesus. Look for a friend where you see the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their life. Ask them to help disciple you in godly growth. Tell someone about your decision to follow Jesus! It will strengthen your faith.Special ThanksTo my friend Steve Douglass for your invaluable wisdom in helping construct Just Jesus’ “How to Use This Book” section.For reminding me that for the sake of the Gospel:“It’s not how many members are in your group. It’s how many groups are in your members.”To all my friends at CRU for sharing the Four Spiritual Laws precepts in the “How to Know Jesus” section of this study.To all my beautiful friends who have shown sacrificial love in supporting this ministry. Sandra and Jack Carey, Jackie Howe, Courtney Clifford, Michele Grust, Mona Spate, Barbara Alleway, Linda Collins, Michelle Harris, Bridgett Denny, Eleanor White, Mirna Orellana, Haley Montgomery, Erika Kao, Cindy Wuthrich, and countless others. You were really loving Jesus. "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'” Matthew 25:40 NLT. To Colleen and Gordon Taggart, Jayne Haines, Jen Cowles, Becky Capps, Rich Cook, Francisca Ortega, Will Weyer and Betsy Perez. Special thanks to my dear friends the Barnett Family. Most of all, Michael. We are in this together believing in something bigger than ourselves. Love you all so much! ................
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