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TEEN LIVING

Unit 3

Teens and Friends

Name: ___________________ Class: ________

Friends and Friendships

1. A Friend is:

A. A trusted ___________________.

B. Someone you can ________________ your good and bad times with.

C. Someone who ________________ in you.

2. A Peer is:

A. Usually your same _________________.

B. Shares common _________________ or _________________ with you.

C. Someone with a similar __________________, (race, religion, education, etc.)

3. Types of Friendships:

1. ______________________________

2. ______________________________

3. ______________________________

4. ______________________________

4. List 5 Characteristics of a Good Friend:

1. ______________________________

2. ______________________________

3. ______________________________

4. ______________________________

5. ______________________________

Toxic Friends

1. How to Handle a Toxic Friend

A. ______________________________________________

B. ______________________________________________

C. ______________________________________________

D. ______________________________________________

E. ______________________________________________

F. ______________________________________________

How Good of a Friend Are You?

It is good to have friends, but it is even better to be a good friend. The more you put into a friendship, the more you get out of it. Below are 15 questions. Check the answer that is the most descriptive of your reactions and then wait for instructions on how to score your quiz. Remember, to have a good friend, you must BE a good friend!

1. In general, what kind of friends do you have?

_____ a. Only the most popular and trendy people!

_____ b. Special people with whom you feel especially comfortable and compatible.

_____ c. All sorts! You like to make as many friends as possible!

2. You’re attracted to a boy/girl that your best friend has been dating. You would:

_____ a. tell your friend. You don’t like to keep secrets from a friend.

_____ b. say nothing. You don’t want to make them jealous or angry.

_____ c. let the boy/girl know you are interested in them, but say nothing to your friend.

3. You’ve grown rather tired of someone who used to be a friend. You would:

_____ a. gradually, but tactfully, stop seeing them.

_____ b. keep seeing them, but only in the company of people you like.

_____ c. pick a fight with them in order to break off your friendship.

4. A group you’re with begins to criticize and make-fun of an absent friend of yours. You would:

_____ a. join in the criticism, but in a lighthearted, “Just Kidding” way.

_____ b. defend them.

_____ c. remain silent until the group goes onto another topic.

5. You’ve arranged to go somewhere with a close friend, but a boy/girl you like asks you to go out that same evening. You would:

_____ a. refuse the date and try to arrange another one later.

_____ b. ask the boy/girl to join you and your friend.

_____ c. go out on the date and make-up and excuse for standing up your friend.

6. You have a friend that your parents don’t approve of, but they haven’t forbidden you to seem him/her. You would:

_____ a. stop seeing your friend.

_____ b. continue to see your friend, but tell your parents that you’re not.

_____ c. bring your friend home with you, hoping your parents will get better acquainted and feel better about the friendship.

7. One of your friends has just bought a new outfit that you think is very unattractive. When they ask you how you like it, you would:

_____ a. praise it because you want to make your friend feel good.

_____ b. tell your friend exactly what you think of the outfit.

_____ c. praise the good points of the outfit first, then tell your friend what you don’t especially like about it.

8. A person who is disliked by your friends has begun to hang out with you. You like this person. Would you:

_____ a. become his/her friend and try to get your other friends to accept them too.

_____ b. reject him/her politely because you don’t want to complicate things with the rest of your friends.

_____ c. see this person once in awhile, when no one else is around.

9. One of your best friends always borrows money and never pays you back. You would:

_____ a. tell your friend how you honestly feel about the situation.

_____ b. ignore the fault because you don’t want to upset the friendship.

_____ c. find some creative way to deal with the situation or help the friend change their behavior.

10. A friend wants to date a person that his/her family doesn’t like and asks you if they can say they’re with you instead of on the date. You would:

_____ a. say no. You don’t want to be an accomplice to their scheme! Besides, if they get caught, you would be in trouble too!

_____ b. say yes. Your loyalty is to your friend, not their parents.

_____ c. suggest your friend try to get permission, or offer to help persuade the parents to let them go out with this person occasionally with a group of trusted friends.

11. Two friends you like really hate each other. You would:

_____ a. choose one to be friends with and drop the other.

_____ b. keep seeing both, but never mention one to the other.

_____ c. see both and try to patch things up between them.

12. A person you don’t like at all could really help you study for one of your classes. You would:

_____ a. develop a friendship with them in order to get his/her help.

_____ b. ask them to help, but do not attempt to become friends to get the help.

_____ c. have nothing to do with them. Why associate with people you don’t like?

13. A friend has made a careless and rude remark that hurts your feelings. You would:

_____ a. get angry and think of something mean to say back to them.

_____ b. let it go.

_____ c. sulk or give them the silent treatment.

14. Most of the people you go around with have begun doing things you don’t approve of, or that are against your values. You would:

_____ a. go along with them to remain friends.

_____ b. be tolerant, but make it clear that you won’t participate in the activity yourself.

_____ c. try to convince them that what they are doing is wrong or dangerous and that they should stop.

15. Your best friend has asked you to do a really big favor that would cost you a lot of time, trouble and effort. You would:

_____ a. feel obliged to do it. Friends are supposed to help each other.

_____ b. do the favor if you really feel like doing it. Otherwise, refuse.

_____ c. refuse. You don’t want them taking advantage of you.

How Good of a Friend Are You?

Scoring Guide

#1: A = 4 pts. B = 2 pts. C = 1 pt. #9: A = 2 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 4 pts.

#2: A = 2 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 4 pts. #10: A = 4 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 2 pts.

#3: A = 2 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 4 pts. #11: A = 4 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 2 pts.

#4: A = 4 pts. B = 2 pts. C = 1 pt. #12: A = 4 pts. B = 2 pts. C = 1 pt.

#5: A = 2 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 4 pts. #13: A = 2 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 4 pts.

#6: A = 4 pts. B = 1 pt. C = 2 pts. #14: A = 1 pt. B = 4 pts. C = 2 pts.

#7: A = 1 pt. B = 4 pts. C = 2 pts. #15: A = 1 pt. B = 2 pts. C = 4 pts.

#8: A = 2 pts. B = 4 pts. C = 1 pt.

15-24 Points:

You try a little too hard to please others. It’s difficult for you to say “NO”, so you become a “YES” person. If your friends want to go bicycling and you hate bicycles, you’ll go anyway and pretend to like it. If you adore listening to classical music and they don’t, you’ll hid all of your Beethoven CD’s in the closet when they come to visit. Instead of telling your friends what you really think and feel, you tend to say what you imagine they would like to hear. This is not being a good friend, however nice you think you’re being. Friends would like you better if you were more open, honest and assertive with people. Try saying “NO” when it is appropriate. Express your own views and preferences, instead of chiming in with others. You’ll get more out of friendships if you stand up for yourself.

25-40 Points:

This score marks you as being a truly good friend. This is the best level for friendship. Because you have a generally high self-esteem, you tend to have a good opinion of others. You’re loyal to your friends, but never at the expense of your own beliefs and values. Since you have a good, healthy ego, your feelings are not hurt easily. You like to talk about your feelings and aspirations, but are a good listener too. People tend to like you even when you’re angry or argumentative because they know you’re well intentioned and trustworthy. Stay just the way you are!

Over 40 Points:

As a friend, you tend to be slightly selfish and standoffish, although you may be very popular. You sometimes get bossy and demanding and want more than your normal share of things. You’ll encourage a friend to confide in you, but won’t give up many real confidences in return. You argue a lot about your rights when it’s your turn to get something or to decide what to do. You don’t like to see your friends doing anything better than you. You should be more open, generous and forgiving with your pals. Don’t worry so much about what you’re getting out of your friends. Just try to enjoy them more!

DUE DATE: _________________________

Secret Friend Experiment

Reflection Sheet

1. Who was your secret friend? Did you know this person before the experiment?

2. What did you choose to do for your secret friend?

3. How did you carry out your plan?

4. Were you able to keep your identity a secret? Was it easy or difficult?

5. How did this experience make you feel?

6. What is one new thing you learned about your secret friend?

7. What is one new thing you learned about yourself by doing this experiment?

The Kidney Machine

Located at the University Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah, is the famous Kidney Machine. A marvel of technological ingenuity, it is the only hope for life for the people with a rare kidney disease.

In actuality, the machine functions as a kidney for people who have lost the use of their own. By connecting themselves to the machine for twenty-four hours each week, people with renal failure can remain alive indefinitely or until they are killed by some other ailment not connected with their kidneys.

There are several problems associated with using the machine, for there are many more people who need it than there is time available on the machine. In fact, only about five people can be placed on it at any one time. Doctors examine all potential patients and determine those who could profit most from connection to the machine. They screen out those with other diseases, for whom the machine would only be a temporary expedient, and they turn their list of recommended patients over to the hospital administration. At present, the doctors have submitted the names of five people for one place on the machine. Thus, the committee is asked to decide which one of these people may have access to the machine.

You are asked to act as if you were a member of this committee. Remember, there is only one vacancy, and you must fill it with one of these five people.

You must:

1. First decide for yourself who you think should be placed on the machine and explain why.

2. Second, as a table, decide, TOGETHER, who should be placed on the machine and explain why.

3. Finally, decide as a class who should be placed on the machine. You must agree, unanimously, on the single person who is to be permitted to remain alive, and you must decide the criteria for making this choice together.

The only medical information you have is that people over forty years old seem to do poorer on the machine than those under forty, although they do not necessarily find the treatment useless. It is up to you. Good luck!

Kidney Machine Decisions

1. Individual Decision

a. Person Chosen: __________________________

b. Reason / Rational: ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

2. Table Decision

a. Person Chosen: __________________________

b. Reason / Rational: ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

3. Class Decision

a. Person Chosen: __________________________

b. Reason / Rational: ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Peer Pressure

1. Friendships make up a valuable, positive element in our lives. The three components of good friendships are:

a. Belonging & ______________________

b. Share Feelings & __________________

c. Sense of _________________________

2. Many teens confuse friendship with ______________________, or going along with the crowd.

3. What are three ways of recognizing Peer Pressure?

a. Going along with the ______________

b. Having _________________ make decisions

c. Believing __________________ does it

4. What is NEGATIVE Peer Pressure?

a. Doing things you really ____________ want to do

b. Doing something only to be part of the _______________

c. Loss of ______________________ to group

d. Personal ________________ (Right vs. Wrong)

e. _________________ by actions of group

5. Can peer pressure be POSITIVE? ______________

a. Pressure into doing _____________ things

b. Influences you to stick to your ____________ and _______________

c. The key is listening to your ___________________

6. What are some ways that you can deal with Peer Pressure?

a. Make your own __________________!

b. Know ___________ you are and who you want to _________!

c. Set realistic positive ________________!

d. Weigh the consequences of your ______________!

e. Say _______________!

7. Basic Guidelines for Saying “NO” (Refusal Skills)

a. ________________________________________________

b. ________________________________________________

c. ________________________________________________

d. ________________________________________________

e. ________________________________________________

8. People who feel ___________ about themselves don’t fear peer group rejection.

9. Looking Logically at Peer Group Rejection:

a. Threat designed to take away your _____________________

b. Does not mean rejection by _________________

10. If you feel good about yourself, others will _________________.

Gangs and Cliques Notes

1. What is a gang?

A group of people who form an ____________________ for a common purpose, ________________ who engage in violent, unlawful or criminal behavior.

2. Based on the definition, is a gang always bad? _____________

3. SO WHY DO YOUTH JOIN GANGS??????? (List at least SIX)

•____________________ •___________________________

•____________________ •___________________________

•____________________ •___________________________

4. What is the difference between feeling lonely and being alone?

FEELING LONELY

•Not feeling like a part of any _________________, large or small.

•Feeling ___________________.

•_____________________ when wanting to be included.

BEING ALONE?

•__________________ to be alone.

•Relaxing, reflecting and _____________________.

•It is ______________________ to be alone sometimes!

5. What are some things you can do to become included? (List at least THREE)

• _________________________________________

• _________________________________________

• _________________________________________

6. Consequences of being in a GANG: (List at least FOUR)

•________________________ •_____________________________

•________________________ •_____________________________

7. What is a CLIQUE?

A small, select group of _______________ or associates.

8. Based on the definition, is a clique always bad? ____________

9. A clique becomes bad when they become __________________.

10. Classic Cliques of the 80’s:

•_____The Jocks__________ •____The Rappers___________

•_____The Losers_________ •____The Skaters____________

•_____The Nerds__________ •____ The Surfers____________

•_____The Outcasts_______ •____The Valley Girls_________

•_____The Popular Group__

The Butter Cream Gang

Video Reflection Questions

1. List 2 specific examples of things people did in the movie to show they were good/positive friends.

2. List 2 specific examples of things people did in the movie to show they were not good/negative friends.

3. Give 2 specific examples from the movie of how friends influenced each other.

4. What examples of peer pressure did you see in the movie?

5. What mistakes did Pete make when he went to live with his Aunt? How did those choices change him?

6. Why did Pete want Scott to hate him?

7. Why do you think that Pete changed in the end?

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