Trash Quizbowl Packet Archive

 FIRST HUNNA DAYS: PLEASE C.L.A.P. (Cucks, Losers, and Pizzagaters) EditionPacket by Kathryn Kohn (mostly)Notes: The best part of this packet is the subtle indignation and plan incredulity with which it should be read. Some questions are easier than others, some are obscure as all get-out. Ask players before the game begins if they want the questions read to completion after an answer is given, since some of the punchlines don’t come until the end. If they say no, do it anyway for questions 4, 15, 22, 23, 25, 27, 29, 32, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 56, 60 (all starred for your convenience). The timeline for this packet is things relevant from any point in the campaign cycle (going back so far as 2014 probably), to right before the June 8th James Comey testimony. Enjoy! Laugh! Please clap.Scoring should be arbitrary. An extra ten points to anyone who can name Jay Park. Points for good jokes. Without further ado, the packet!:1. Responses to this action include “Mr. President, it’s too much” and it’s “driving us crazy.” This action will supposedly be performed “at the borders,” and “with trade.” In addition to this action, it is said that America will “turn it around” and “be so proud of [the] country.” In an Albany speech, one individual suggested that this action would be done at every level and would be performed “economically,… with the economy, with military,... with health care,... and for our veterans.” Donald Trump suggested we would never get bored of this action. For 10 points, what action are we going to get tired of doing under President Trump.ANSWER: Winning [accept answers such as Get tired of winning]2. In real life, this item is said to ward off the evil eye. One top comment on Reddit asserted that “[this item] was a legit international crisis.” This item was denied entry into Israel, prompting one future candidate to say “You think finding Middle East peace is hard? I’m dealing with [one ingredient in this item]!” This item is traditionally made with carp, mullet, pike, or whitefish. This item prefaced a message that read simply “where are we on this?” FTP, what Ashkenazi delicacy was the title of a 2010 email sent to Richard Verma?ANSWER: Gefilte fish [do not accept “fish”]3. A former foreign minister from this country called the 2016 election “an unmitigated disaster,” while another called it an “existential crisis.” One presidential candidate was called “of hate, confrontation, racism, persecution and misogyny” before an individual from this country put a $100 million bounty his head. One candidate-slash-litigant attempted to discredit a judge because his parents were from this country. The president of this country made it clear that he would not be paying for “the wall.” FTP, what country is “bringing crime” and sending “rapists”?ANSWER: Mexico*4. According to a WaPo op-ed written by the performer’s son, this action “further endeared [the performer]... as a candidate.” The revelation of this action was made in response to the question “which enemy are you most proud of?” The target of this action is “not around right now to talk to...” which received a response of “Alright...” from Anderson Cooper. The performer of this event received a Navy Cross, and this action was in response to “the grenade that wounded” the performer. FTP, what action was performed by Jim Webb in Vietnam, making him a total badass living the thug life.ANSWER: Jim Webb killed a man [Webb is required before it has been read, otherwise, all needed is a reference to killing someone]5. While being interviewed in front of his childhood home, this candidate ran off mid-question after exclaiming “my luggage!” Donald Trump once called this candidate “low-energy”. A book by this candidate is taught in schools across the country. This candidate once recalled trying to “knife a friend” in the ninth grade because of a dispute over music taste. This candidate famously believes that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain, as opposed to “the archeologists” who think “that they were made for the pharaoh’s graves.” FTP name this candidate who is now nominee for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. ANSWER: Ben Carson6. In one skit, a comedian played this candidate’s brother with a similar name, and asked for a chance to answer a question, only to seemingly fall asleep before saying it takes him about four years to count to ten. This candidate famously somehow does not remember running for president, as evidenced by his statement that he was not qualified to be Secretary of Education. This candidate said that the Holocaust could have been avoided if “the Jews had guns.” FTP, name this acclaimed surgeon who ran for president of the United States.ANSWER: Ben Carson7. Stephen Colbert called this question “crucial” and demanded it be asked in Republican debates. One respondent to this question said that another respondent was too nice to do the action in question, before giving a non-committal “no comment.” One Reddit user responded to this question with “Nah, I'd just give him a Snickers.” Another individual responded “I’m not in favor of aborting anyone” to which the the videographer said “alright, pro-[the subject of this question].” Jeb Bush’s answer to this question was a simple ”hell yeah I would!”, while Ben Carson avoided the question entirely, saying that “the Jews” should’ve “ha[d] guns.” FTP, name this moral dilemma involving an infant dictator that was posed by the New York Times Magazine to its readers in 2015.ANSWER: Would you kill/abort baby Hitler? [accept obvious equivalents]8. This man shared this bit of personal information about this other man, to millions of people, after blasting the him. Trashing a senator in their own state may seem risky, but after this event, it turns out it really is not. Even after this debacle, one of these men STILL gave the other his new one of these. One of these men made a video, entitled “How to Destroy Your [the item involved] with [this man]” in which he did the exact action described in the title, either by dropping it off a roof, putting it in a blender, or chopping it with a sword. If all else fails, “you can always give it to [this other man]” FTP, describe this event in which the Republican candidate for president made public the private-ten digit dialing number of another candidate for president.ANSWER: Donald Trump giving out Lindsey Graham’s cell phone number [accept obvious equivalents]9. One of these items was referenced by Ruth Bader Ginsburg in a speaking role in Le Fille du Regiment, and the titular character could not accept a political position without one. One candidate had repeatedly asked for one of these items for eight years prior to requesting it again. One of these items comes in both a long form and a short form. One of these items lists Ted Cruz as “Canadian” and reveals Mitt Romney’s real first name to be Willard. FTP, name this item that reportedly reveals President Barack Obama is not, contrary to fact, a natural born American citizen.ANSWER: Birth certificate10. One commentator said Lincoln Chafee resembled one of these animals in his debate performance. This animal can be accurately described by a two-word insult used frequently this election cycle. One candidate keeps miniatures of this animal on their person at all times, inspiring the resurgence of an old meme about this animal. The same candidate gives toys of this animal to a few deemed worthy enough to be given a gift by them. FTP, name this animal to which Republican Senator Mitch McConnell is frequently likened.ANSWER: Turtle11. This event was unprecedented, as candidates do not typically announce their running mates ahead of securing the nomination at the party convention. This event lasted only a week, which beat out the previous record for shortest one of these by 11 days. This event is perhaps best remembered by a video of the subject falling through a stage, much like their hopes and dreams of becoming president. FTP, name this event that saw a California business woman temporarily perhaps poised to replace Diamond Joe. ANSWER: Carly Fiorina’s Vice Presidential Candidacy [accept any answers including both Fiorina and Vice President]12. The earliest known usage of this phrase as an insult was in a 2008 Tweet, when @tjcrowey told @xianvox to do the action prescribed in this phrase in order to activate the “MySpace stupidity filter.” This phrase is often seen written as though it were a Jeopardy clue, and users will often send only that image, rather than write this phrase out. This phrase saw a spike in popularity after @DaveStroup responded to a NYTimes recipe tweet with the phrase. The first famous use of this phrase was by @Snowden, responding to @JebBush’s photo of a gun. FTP, name this phrase that instructs users to deactivate their presence on social media, Tweeted famously by Hillary Clinton in response to a Donald Trump tweet. ANSWER: Delete your account13. This man’s wife was the subject of the controversial “A Rose in the Desert” article. This man’s father preceded him in leading the party he currently has in the power. This man was suspected of ordering the assassination of the prime minister of Lebanon in 2005. He’s no Hitler, in fact, Hitler was not as bad as this person. This person, unlike Hitler used gas to attack his own people, er, innocent people. FTP, name this man who Sean Spicer refers to as Basher al Ashad, the current president of Syria.ANSWER: Bashar al Assad 14. [Two names required] One Omona They Didn’t comment response to these two people meeting said “sunbaenim tryna get that feature lmao.” One of these men is a former Vice President, while the other is the artist behind tracks such as “Aquaman” and “Me Like Yuh.” At the “24 Hours of Reality” summit, one of these men thanked the other for his support for the climate change cause, which was a “shout out” in the loosest definition of the term. FTP, name these two men, one who ran for president in 2000 and the other who was a former member of the Korean pop group 2PM, whose interaction was up there as one of the weirdest political events of 2016. ANSWER: Al Gore and Jay Park *15. This man once called Tommy Vietor “a boat shoe,” and named his media empire after a phrase popularized by Donald Trump. This man produced the short-lived political sitcom 1600 Penn. I gave this man $30 for a Friend of the Pod t-shirt that I have yet to receive. With Vietor and Jon Favreau, this man co-hosted Keepin’ It 1600 before it became Pod Save America. This man was a speechwriter for both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, so he might be a little biased. FTP, name this “straight shooter respected on both sides.”ANSWER: Jon Lovett16. This man was the target of a twitter campaign to oversee his firing started by Russian bots. This man made it to the Final Four of Chapo Trap House’s most evil Harvard alumni competition. It was believed that this man would temper the president, and it was also believed that this man was the reason Trump’s tweets are even more off the wall on Friday nights and Saturday mornings. Despite zero experience in foreign policy and a dubious business record, this man is Trump’s envoy to Iraq, while still tasked with running the White House at home. FTP, name this son-in-law of Donald Trump.ANSWER: Jared Kushner17. A parody character of this man is called Tuck Buckford, but only one of them sells those good pills. This man doesn't mind if people continue to make memes of him, since his website has “all the top memes.” This man could not remember key details about his son at a custody hearing because he “had a big bowl of chili” at lunch. In his most infamous monologue, he waxes about chemicals in the water that are turning the frogs gay. This man believes that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a government plot performed by crisis actors. FTP, name this host and conspiracy theorist behind InfoWars.ANSWER: Alex Jones18. By April of 2015, there was enough documentation of this man doing this action that Politico had published a photo gallery of it. When mocking this man for this action, Donald Trump asked his audience “Do you want that for your president? I don't think so” after repeatedly calling it “disgusting.” This action is typically associated with the Iowa State Fair, but politicians also partake in it when they visit NYC as well. Not that Donald Trump is one to talk, since he does this action with a knife and a fork. Actually, this man has also done it with a knife and fork. FTP, name this man and action, which involves indulging in the shared local delicacies of New York City and Chicago.ANSWER: John Kasich eating pizza (accept eating before “knife and fork.”)19. This man donned this particular fashion choice in February of 2015, to which this man said “We're working on my beauty here.” The event that caused this man to wear this item occurred on New Year’s Day, when a workout band snapped and sent this man crashing into his cabinets.One blogger said there was literally no evidence to suggest this man’s injury was not caused by a fight. By February 24th, this man had donned these items made famous by the Beach Boys after wearing a bandage above his injury for almost two months. FTP, name this former Senate Minority leader and his fashion choice which did not look cool at all.ANSWER: Harry Reid wearing sunglasses20. Time for a throwback! An investigation of this event included examining the forged Canuck Letter. James McCord was apprehended after this event, and brought before Judge John Sirica. The phrase “expletive deleted” was popularized by the release of recordings related to this event. After this event, two men arranged for meetings by drawing clocks in the corner of the New York Times, holding clandestine meetings in a parking garage. FTP, name this infamous political scandal where the Committee to Re-elect the President broke into the DNC HQ at the eponymous office complex. ANSWER: Watergate Scandal_____________________________________________________________________________________21. This man told Alex Jones “I want you to have sex with my wife” to which Jones was taken aback. A comment on a video of this man’s encounters at the RNC calls the video a “Top 10 Anime Crossover[].” This man mocked the Infowars conspiracy theorists in the crowd, by asking “who put the bombs in Tower 7” which Jones took as a legitimate question. This man believed he might have died at the RNC, but, thankfully he’s still alive. Alex Jones invited this man on stage, calling him “Daily Show guy,” which this man very much is not. FTP, name this black late-night comedian, who is definitely not Trevor Noah, known for his absurdity and nihilism.ANSWER: Eric Andre*22. The first instance of this meme was in a 2013 tweet as its subject was speaking at CPAC. In April 2016, a bar in Houston had started serving a cocktail named after this meme, garnished with tiny swords. In a poll in Florida, 10% of respondents believed this meme to be true, with another 28% uncertain, despite its temporal impossibility. In fact, one of the original circulators of this morbid political meme described it as “so obviously untrue...if there was any way that it could possibly be true I would be scared to joke about it just because of the repercussions.” This meme was the most popular autocomplete option following the name of an unpopular Texas Politician. FTP, what meme accuses the junior Texas Senator of being an infamous serial killer from the decade prior to his birth?ANSWER: Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer (“Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer?”, etc. acceptable)*23. After being called an asshole by a random man in a documentary, this man replied “takes one to know one, jackass.” The 2016 documentary about this man did not, somehow, win the Women Film Critics Circle Award for “Worst Male Images in a Movie.” This man played the the Director of NASA in the third Sharknado movie. In May of 2011, a misdirected tweet cost this man his political career, and exposed his secret identity. His wife is famously known as Hillary Clinton’s other daughter, even though files on his laptop ignited a statement by the FBI direction and cost Clinton the election. FTP, name this disgraced Congressman, also known as Carlos Danger.ANSWER: Anthony Weiner 24. In a speech about global warming, this man said “In billions of years, the sun will actually grow and encompass the Earth.” He is also somehow completely unable to name another foreign leader. During MSNBC interview, this man stuck out his tongue during his answer for no discernable reason. This man is either deaf or an idiot, according to a his response when asked about the civil war raging in the most populous Syrian governorate. He later referenced himself, calling a different moment his “aleppo moment.” FTP, name this two-time Libertarian Party candidate for presidentANSWER: Gary Johnson*25. Description necessary. This is the single most important tweet ever tweeted, even with a paltry 474 retweets at the time of my writing this packet. The text of this tweet features the keywords “spotted at” and tags former Jeb! Staffer @timodc. A tweet seven minutes later has an attached photo, showing two political staffers posing with an adult dressed as an OG mobile suit Gundam. The gundam, not the character. This tweet was posted by the current WH Press Secretary, and was tweeted from the Gaylord National Harbor Hotel, home of a fairly well known anime convention. FTP, just, please, describe this tweet from February 15, 2013.ANSWER: Sean Spicer at Katsucon [anime convention is an acceptable substitution, but it must be specific to Japanese media, not a general comic con)26. Only nicknames acceptable. A giant poster of this man’s face once decorated the wall of my dorm room, after I took it to a small rally where he pointed at it and nodded. This man’s gaffes are often described instead as trial balloons, a notable one about gay marriage. This man is well known for his somewhat ironic love of old cars--though he could not drive them for eight years--and ice cream. This man can say “this is a big f*cking deal!” and get zero flak for it. He is famous for his Amtrak commute, just as much as he is for the Violence Against Women Act. FTP, give a nickname of this 47th vice president of the United States.ANSWER: Amtrak Joe, Uncle Joe, Cup of Joe, Diamond Joe, the Bidenator, the Uncle-in-Chief*27. The political use of this term might date back to 1922, where it is still equally gross. This term may have originated with the cut-throat student elections at USC, as revealed in All the President’s Men. It is unclear if the phrase was adopted from military slang for messing with MREs, or if it was created from scratch. Besides Watergate itself, the most infamous act of this term was the release of the forged Canuck letter. Outside of the Nixon-universe, the man most associated with this term and king of the GOP trolls is none other than Ted Cruz. FTP, name this term for dirty tricks and political sabotage, which is not bestiality, but is surely just as shameful.ANSWER: ratfucking 28. Alexander the Great conquered this city in 333 BC, in his campaign to capture Asia Minor. After bombs started falling, cats fleds to the Cat Man of this city, who took care of them until bombs struck “Ernesto’s House.” Husni al-Za’im is a native of this city, which suffered catastrophic damage between 2012 and 2016, and was evacuated in December. When one candidate could not remember the name of this city, Mike Barnicle said “You’re kidding.” That candidate was not kidding. He later has another [this city] moment, in an attempt to poke fun at his biggest gaffe. FTP, name this city, the former most populated city in Syria.ANSWER: Aleppo *29. Description acceptable. The mission statement of this project says it was inspired by the “petty drama” of the 2016 Republican primary. The Kickstarter for this project raised $15,500, with a top pledge of over $2,000 that came with allowing the donor a major role for their custom character. In this project, Marco Rubio and Jeb! Bush are called the “Sunshine Bros” and live in the “Sunshine Dorm.” The website for this project wants to “Make America Date Again” which is, uh, well, better than the other option I suppose. FTP, describe this project which takes the 2016 Republican candidate field and turns them into anime boys for your romancing pleasure. ANSWER: Grand Old Academy, or GOP Dating Sim30. Let’s take a trip! One of the earliest incidences of this kind occurred in 2002, when a socialist was attacked in broad daylight. Another man, in 2007, this time the Minister of the Interior, had the same kind of assault, but was unable to keep his cool. Pate Blog calls this action a “national pastime” which can range from enfariner to entarter to even en-ketchuper-er in the case of Lionel Jospin. This action saw Francois Fillion doused in foodstuffs after attacked by a man in a pro-Fillon shirt. Marine Le Pen was victim of this action in Brittany, which could go well with some of the flour previously thrown. FTP, name this action which involves pelting certain people with digestible goods. ANSWER: Throwing food/ingredients at French politicians31. A statue based off of a painting of this type of person in Ashland, Pennsylvania, says “a [this type of person] is the holiest thing alive.” G HW Bush pranked this type of person by sending a letter that said “It has come to our attention that you have been using your computer to go on porn websites,” sending them into hysterics. One of these types of people dons the cover of many a children’s book, except, hmm, maybe she isn’t human. In Macbeth, Macduff was not born from one of these, but was instead “untimely ripped.” FTP, name this woman, the only woman that Vice President Mike Pence can eat dinner alone with?ANSWER: Mother*32. When asked if the Sanders campaign had any statement to make on [this item], one spokesperson said “His bold ideas are his [this item].” Many believe one candidate’s love of this item was just a campaign strategy, though if it was, this candidate really must have been in it for the long con. This item is featured in the Beyonce song “Formation.” Clinton confirmed she carries Ninja Squirrel brand [this] in addition to chili flakes and jalapenos. FTP, name this condiment made of chili peppers that makes white people sweat and cry. ANSWER: Hot sauce33. This item came into vogue in the 1960s, when Yves Saint-Laurent introduced Le Smoking. A 2007 Washington Post article notes that this item is perhaps becoming feminine and sexy, after one senator showed a teeny bit of cleavage in it. Tim Gunn once described someone wearing this item as “confused about their gender” which was a touch ironic. This item used to be banned from the Senate floor, until Barbara Mikulski and Carol Moseley Braun did it anyway and started a fashion revolution. FTP, name this article of clothing best associated with female politicians, and especially Hillary Clinton.ANSWER: Pantsuits34. One of these things is the source of the “good job horn” that Lin Manuel Miranda frequently performs on live television. You probably have a ton of these on your phone right now, just from NPR alone. , Parachute, and Me Undies are among the most well known sponsors of these. Bernie Sanders hosts one of these, where one of his firsts guests was Neil DeGrasse Tyson. You probably listen to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, Political Gabfest, or Serial, all super-famous ones of these. FTP, name this medium of audio entertainment that is like radio, but portable, on your time.ANSWER: Podcasts35. This tradition has been around since the first campaigns, with Adams’ [this] titled “Adams and Liberty.” One candidate’s favorite musician mocked him on late-night TV. performing a potential [this], which may have sparked that candidate to switch allegiances to another NJ rock band. When Paul Ryan’s favorite band told him they hated him because he didn’t embody their [this], he said that he prefered Led Zeppelin anyway. Hillary Clinton used Fight Song as [this], which I never want to hear again ever in my life. FTP, name this audio art that many candidates use to energize audiences and give their campaigns an identity. ANSWER: Songs or music [accept obvious equivalents]36. [This word] was retweeted and like over 100,000 times in its short lifespan. One comedian responded “what makes me saddest is that I know I'll never write anything funnier than [this word].” One suggested origin was Yiddish, and another an Ikea product. Hillary Clinton responded with a tweet saying “people in [this word] houses shouldn’t throw [this word]. Press Secretary Sean Spicer attempted to play it off, by saying that a few people know what [this word] means. FTP, name this unintelligible word tweeted by Trump after midnight sparked an entire day of wisecracking and mystery solving about its mysterious meaning and purpose.ANSWER: covfefe*37. It appears as though this man went through an existential crisis on Super Tuesday, perhaps regretting his endorsement of Trump. This man wrote “Brush With Bruce at 30,000 Feet,” calling the encounter “extraordinary.” More recently, this man has formed a friendship with Bon Jovi. Even though this man was dedicated and loyal, he got passed over as revenge for putting the father of the son-in-law of the president behind bars. This man’s “Bridgegate” scandal earned him the title of fourth most-hated governor in America, and he probably has zero shot of ever becoming president. FTP, name this man who regrets everything.ANSWER: Chris Christie*38. An ominous tweet by this man, featuring a gun only a few days before inauguration further fueled [this meme]. On November 13th, Sassy Socialist Memes spread this meme wide open when they posted a video that overlaid the Soviet Union anthem over a particular HuffPo interview. One variant of this meme features its subject’s face photoshopped over Indiana Jones punching a nazi. This meme originated when former Florida governor said that he would happily kill baby Hitler. FTP, name this meme in which the brother of a former president is actually the hero of Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism we deserve. ANSWER: Comrade Jeb! or Antifa Jeb!39. When asked to name his Senate accomplishments, one candidate swerved, instead saying this phrase. Within five minutes, that candidate had repeated this phrase three times, thereby cementing the meme. The phrase was perhaps more embarrassing to its sayer than his oft-mocked reaching for a bottle of water. This phrase had ruined the Florida senator’s chances at nomination, with his gaffe becoming the biggest joke of the night. One twitter bot, calling itself @RubioGlitch, tweeted only this phrase, completely in-character. FTP, what phrase suggested that Marco Rubio was actually a malfunctioning robot.ANSWER: “Barack Obama knows exactly what he’s doing”/”Let’s dispel the notion that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”*40. Emphasizing the US’s transition to an “internationalist” country, one candidate said this was “a bold move.” The same candidate suggest that adopting this would help the United States conduct diplomatic relations, showing “symbolic integration” with the rest of the world. @bennyjohnson once tweeted he “for one, [is] proud to stand with Burma & Liberia” in the non-adoption of this. The reason the US does not use this is because Article I gives the distinction to establish measures to Congress, who really need to get with the times. Down with customary units, and up with this well-defined, practical, and intuitive measurement design. FTP, name the true driving factor behind Lincoln Chafee’s campaign.ANSWER: The metric system_____________________________________________________________________________________*41. The most dominant terrestrial ecosystem on Earth, these areas fall into one of the several designations depending on their latitudes and elevation. The taiga variety of this biome is home to muskeg bogs and Spodosol soil. Macbeth can only be defeated when this type of ecosystem comes to Dunsinane. The use-categories of these heavily wooded areas, colored green on maps, typically falls into one of three broad categories: administrative, land use, and land cover. One Stephen Sondheim musical warns against going into this place. FTP, name this new home and frequent hideaway of Hillary Clinton.ANSWER: Woods [accept obvious equivalents] ----*42. One video inspired by this phrase showed the Republican candidates replicating the infamous “congratulations” scene from Neon Genesis Evangelion. One network called this ““a heartbreaking phrase because it comes from a candidate who thinks he’s delivering powerful, inspirational rhetoric.” One candidate had to instruct a New Hampshire crowd to do this action after he told a joke that didn’t land. After the election, this phrase was warped into “you should have [done this]” and “please riot.” FTP, name this imperative phrase uttered by Jeb! Bush, which we should have done, we should have done it. ANSWER: Please clap43. One reporter described the content on this site as “explanatory, deconstructive, self-aware, and incendiary” while another called it “truly hilarious.” As of May 2017, this group had 440,000 meme-bers. This group, founded by Will Dowd and Sean Walsh was the home of “Bernie or Hillary?” meme. While this site may have been the home of Bernie Bros, it was also a demonstration of the power of the youth and social media and internet memes in the 2016 election. The site is often compared to the crueler, less sick af internet forum r/The_Donald. FTP, name this Facebook group created to support a 2016 Democratic primary candidate. ANSWER: Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash44. This anarchist won 149 votes in his first Presidential primary, and by his fourth run in 2012, found himself in fourth place behind Martin O’Malley, and in front of Jim Gilmore. This man glittered-bomb Randall Terry in 2011, which barred him from the Lesser Known Democratic Candidates debates. Marco Rubio once said of this man “I just met a guy who was giving away ponies. You know who he is? It's hard to compete against ponies!” His platform also includes zombie apocalypse awareness, and time travel research. FTP, name this perennial candidate. known for his toothbrush and wearing a boot as a hat ANSWER: Vermin Supreme45. One journalist wrote that this man “has impeccable taste in chocolate chip cookies” regardless of his sloppy politics. This man’s campaign slogan was lifted from a satirical Nixon t-shirt. That slogan--“Tanned. Rested. Ready.”--was an attempt to quell criticism that he had abandoned his heritage. This man was a frontrunner in Iowa for some period of time, thanks to his four visits in three weeks. This man was the youngest, and first non-white elected Governor of his state. FTP, name this man who apparently ran for President and would have been the first Indian-American president.ANSWER: Bobby Jindal46. This man fancies his tweets real works of art, which they very clearly are not. I’m going to just list a few of them, and maybe you can name who said N now stands for Cardiac Care Network because their ppl are having heart attacks over Trump doing what Dems once demanded-fire ComeyBreaking News! @united airlines will be renamed--will now be called UN-TIED and wont hog-tie passengers who have valid boarding passFor Cinco de Mayo I will drink an entire jar of hot salsa and watch old Speedy Gonzales cartoons and speak Spanish all day. Happy CdMayo!To humorless trolls who soiled themselves re: my earlier tweet-stop following me;follow someone sensitive and kind like Stephen ColbertThey’re really this bad. I am so sorry. ANSWER: Mike Huckabee47. One candidate sold a branded $75 bowl for making this food on his campaign store. The description said “Jeb! and Columba love whipping up [this food] on Sunday Funday.” This food had come into the news once before, when the NYTimes suggested making this with peas, to which President Obama responded “respect the nyt, but not buying peas in [this]. onions, garlic, hot peppers. Classic.” At the Iowa Agriculture Summit, Jeb! waxed that he would like to know where the avocado, onion, and cilantro came from when he makes this. FTP, name this avocado-based Mexican dip, a “mighty fine” speciality of Jeb! Bush. ANSWER: Guacamole48. This is proof of that a “satanic cabal of elites” of the New World Order have more control over us than they think. In a shocking turn of events, Alex Jones apologized for this, while Trump praised journalists who peddled it. “Proof” {emphasize or just say “quote-unquote proof”} for this includes codewords in emails between John Podesta and Hillary Clinton as deciphered by Voat and 4chan. This culminated when a man entered Comet Ping Pong with an AR-15, firing three shots as part of a plan to “self-investigate. He surrendered when he found no evidence that the theory was true. FTP, name this conspiracy theory peddled by r/The_Donald that implicates a DC pizzeria in a child sex ring.ANSWER: Pizzagate49. The best part of this thing is that nobody actually knows what it is anyway. One reddit user commented “Space Jam 2 looks weird” after seeing photos of this. The Church of Satan officially distanced itself from this after many twitter commentators compared it to a Satanic ritual. @KrangTNelson said “Trump 100% made a wish when he touched” this. Nordic prime ministers recreated this moment, but decidedly less sinister. FTP, name this thing that Trump was caught rubbing with el-Sissi and King Salman.ANSWER: Glowing orb50. This adverb is now used for comedic or mocking effect, when before it was just never used at all. Every time I see this word I have an aneurysm, which made this packet pretty difficult to write. This word autocorrects to “bigot” funnily enough. This was one of the most-searched words of 2016, which people didn’t really know was a word until they were inundated with it almost on the daily. It was unclear if this was what one candidate was saying, or perhaps he just sucked at enunciating a different word. FTP, name this adverb that ostensibly means in a large manner, but has been completely wrecked by Donald Trump. ANSWER: “bigly”51. This is the new “yo momma” that spontaneously appeared. One Washington Post commenter said one day after this meme originated: “It will be forgotten in a question of hours and no one will remember it in one week.”--bet he’s feeling salty now. Examples of this are the Seth Rich murder conspiracy, the frogs turning gay, or, according to its originator, collusion with Russia. This meme sprung about after Trump accused Cable News Network of spreading disinformation in a pre-inauguration press conference. FTP, name this oft-repeated phrase that implies that some current event is preposterous. ANSWER: “You are fake news”52. A typical candidate requires only one of these. One of these people was the main subject of the 1993 documentary The War Room. Sarah Paulson played this type of person in Game Change, her real life counterpart being a frequent talking head on Morning Joe. One of these people was rumored to have been kidnapped by Russians at some point in time, which explains the feral fear in his eyes. One of these is famously divorced from a New York mayoral candidate. FTP, name this position Kellyanne Conway, Paul Manafort, and Corey Lewandowski all had at some point on one campaign. ANSWER: Campaign manager53. This man spells his name with no H, so you know he’s a nice Jewish boy. Even though this man is only 30 and not even an elected official, Trump has already attacked him, accusing him of wanting to “protect criminals, allow illegal immigration and raise taxes.” According to his website, this man “led a team that exposed more than 30 corrupt judges in the West African nation of Ghana” which is incredibly specific but good for him. One ad taken out against this man showed him dressed up as Han Solo with his a capella group, and it’s kinda unfair to pick on people for the embarrassing things they did in college. FTP, name this man who will be facing off Karen Handel in a runoff race for Georgia’s 6th congressional district.ANSWER: Jon Ossoff54. This event, held on the last Saturday in April, has been a Beltway fixture since 1921. This annual event used to feature singing, instead of the roasting it is known for today, and until 1962, banned women from attending. In 2011, Seth Meyers’ joked about the Obama Administration's failure to find Bin Laden at this event--mere days just one day before Operation Neptune Spear. In 2006, Stephen Colbert famously ragged on George W Bush with lines like “he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things” and that “[this administration is] rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!”; Bush has still not recovered. FTP, name this annual event ran by journalists that Trump declined to attend, as part of his crusade against “fake news.”ANSWER: White House Correspondents’ Dinner55. I didn’t want to write this question, but a bunch of my friends are from Maryland, so I had no choice. Esquire magazine considered the reporting on [this] the most in-depth coverage one candidate was going to get. If you’re looking for photos of [this], Drudge Report is an unexpectedly great place to find them. According to the Washington Post, [this] is “chiseled-and-not-even-just-for-a-politician.” You can see more of [this] if you go to a concert where this man’s band is performing, probably sleeveless. One former Maryland governor’s [this] could beat Vladimir Putin’s any day, if shirtless duels were a thing. FTP, name this signature feature of the Maryland Democratic primary candidate. ANSWER: Martin O’Malley’s hawt ripped bod [accept obvious equivalents, but then read this answer aloud]*56. Politico said [this thing] “got awkward before it even began,” while the Blaze [yeugh, I know] said it went “horribly wrong.” This was posted to r/cringe, where one top comment said “Candidate.exe has stopped working. Please restart the program.” The highlight of this mess of an event might have been when one candidate failed to appear at all, until after the confusion had stopped. Here, we saw the beginning of the beautiful [nah] friendship between Donald Trump and Ben Carson as they shoulder-to-shoulder, where Jeb! Bush would pass them, confused. FTP, name this thing mess-up called a “multi-candidate pile up” because, let’s face it, it was just as terrible as a car crash.ANSWER: Republican Debate walk-on [accept obvious equivalents]57. This man once tweeted a terribly sick burn to Curt Schilling thanking him for “service. We are forever in your debt,” because Schilling never served and tried to pick a fight with this man, who had--whoops! In a now-legendary ad by this man, he responded to NRA attacks on his stance on gun rights. This former Missouri Secretary of State assembled rifle, while he describes his service in Afghanistan. This man’s advertisement went viral, because he was also blindfolded. FTP, name this bad ass who only barely lost the race for the Missouri Senate seat to the incumbent Roy Blunt.ANSWER: Jason Kander58. Some of this website’s best posts include “Is Donald Trump’s Hair a $60,000 Weave?” “Who Needs a Log Flume When You Can Get a Blow Job in a Theme Park Bathroom Instead?: My Family Vacation” and “On Smarm.” Writers like Elizabeth Spiers, Richard Lawson, and Ashley Feinberg, helped this website rise to fame and shape blogging for all time. Surviving siblings of this website include Deadspin and Jezebel. I’m not saying Buzzfeed murdered this website in cold blood, but they certainly left it for dead. This website got into boiling water when sued by Hulk Hogan over a sextape, while Peter Thiel foot the bill. FTP, name this website that we’re so sad to see go.ANSWER: Gawker59. One video touts that this man will chaperone any field trip to a florist, and that he consistently has an even number of hairs on his head. The Washington Post once called this man the “Frank Costanza of politics” and, gosh, do I wish I knew what that meant. One of this man’s supporters made a video game that featured him battling 13 bosses to end the Fed, with the Kickstarter making over $11,000 to fund it. He wants to “make liberty sexy” and thought Jill Stein could do it better than fellow party-member Gary Johnson. FTP, name this man who surprisingly didn’t run for president--but his son did. ANSWER: Ron Paul*60. This species is named after its original bakery in Philly, which I only mention because I, too, am from Philly. Members of this group include Flo, Leonardo, Ma, and Fast Eddie. Time Magazine named these creatures the third-best “tiny characters,” but my stomach thinks they’re number one. These creatures live in the bases of trees, and in 2013, artists were commissioned to carve tiny trees into doors to trick people into thinking they were real. These creatures compete with the Girl Scouts by making cookies comparable to Thin Mints, and Samoas. FTP, name this fictional race of bakers to whom Jeff Sessions is oft-compared. ANSWER: Keebler Elves ................
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