Notes on Family in Crisis



Individual & Family Dynamics 120

Understanding Families– Unit #9: Crises in the Family

2017

Essential Question – How does a crisis affect the family and can a family restore balance to the family system in a crisis?

Student Outcomes: At the end of this unit students will be able to:

1. Identify characteristics of lie events that could lead to a family crisis

2. Explain how crisis affects the family system

3. Distinguish between internal and external stress

4. Recognize factors that help families prevent crises

5. Evaluate family coping skills

Vocabulary: Are you familiar with these terms?

Crises Stressors Pileup effect alienated internal stress

External stress Coping behaviour

The Impact of Crises on the Family

Crises are experiences or events that cause people to make major changes in their lives. Life events that change or have the potential to produce change in the family cause stress. Such life events are called stressors. Whether stress leads to a crisis depends on the following 4 factors:

1. The event itself

2. The number of stressful events experienced at the same time

3. How the family identifies and interprets the event

4. Resources available to manage the stressful event

The following 4 types of events often cause crises within families:

1. Devastating events that cause a great loss – Events that cause great losses are more likely to lead to crisis than events that cause small losses.

2. Very stressful events that widely impact members – A stressful event that affects several or all the members in a family is very likely to produce a crisis.

3. Sudden, important events – when an event is unexpected, the family has no time to prepare for the change. If they have no previous experience with such a change, they often feel the situation is out of control.

4. Events requiring major adjustments – Events that require little or no change are less likely to result in crises than events that require major adjustments.

The Pileup Effect

Sometimes crises result when several changes occur at the same time, or one after another. Each event is too small to produce a significant loss. Each event may not affect all the family members. The change may be expected and occur slowly. Small changes do not have the characteristics of crises-producing events. However, the stress from each event continues to build, producing a pile-up effect. The end result is a crisis. For example, the stress from poor grades on a test, an argument with a friend, conflict with parents and pressure from peers can all add up.

How Crises affect the family

An individual’s crisis can also be a crisis for the family. Remember, every member in a family affects every other member. When a member is unable to function, the whole family can be negatively affected.

1. The family system becomes unbalanced – When the family is functioning smoothly, it is balanced. Each member carries out his or her roles. The family works together to meet the needs of each member. In a crisis, one or more changes disrupt this balance. Individual family members are unable to fulfill their functions. Suddenly the family is not functioning smoothly as a unit. The family needs time resources and support as it works to adjust to the changes and restore balance.

2. A loss affects family functions – In most crises situations, some type of loss has taken place. The loss may involve a family member, skills or abilities, a job, income or a home.

A loss usually hinders the family’s ability to fulfill its normal functions, at least for a period of time. The family function of reproducing and socializing children is hindered by illness, divorce, hospitalization or loss of a family member. A job loss or a natural disaster could hinder the family’s ability to meet physical needs. The family function of assigning roles may be slowed by any crisis that prevents members from carrying out their roles. Finally, the family’s ability to carry out the function of providing close relationships and intimacy may be hindered by a death, divorce or move away from relatives.

3. The grieving process – When family members experience a loss, they go through a grieving process. When they are able to identify and accept their feelings, they will be able to handle them and go on with their lives. When a loss occurs, family members pass through certain emotional stages:

A. Denial – “This isn’t really happening

B. Anger – “Why is this happening to us?

C. Guilt – “what did we do to cause or deserve this?”

Such feelings are normal responses in the grieving process. However it is important that family members move on and accept the reality of the loss.

D. Acceptance – Acceptance is needed so family members can take action and adjust to the changes brought about by the loss. They need to work together so the functions of the family can be carried out. Roles may need to be adjusted and financial resources or help from others may be needed.

Unhealthy adjustment patterns – If the family does not adjust, unhealthy behaviour patterns may develop. Feelings of anger, blame, and guilt will continue. Members may feel depressed. They may stop eating, withdraw from others, or fail to show up at work. They may abuse alcohol or other drugs to cover up their feelings. In anger they may lash out and abuse other family members. When the family does not function normally, the physical and mental health of members may suffer. Parents may ignore their parental responsibilities. As a result, children may be neglected, malnourished or abused. Their emotional development will suffer if they do not experience love and acceptance. They may feel alienated – alone, without hope, or cut off from others who care. This feeling is listed as a major feeling in teen suicide.

Responding to crises with unhealthy behaviour patterns may hinder the growth and development of family members and cause serious long-term results. Developing skills from preventing a family crisis is important for all family members.

Preventing a Crisis

Family members who are prepared to adjust and handle stress-producing life events are more likely to do so. They use the following methods to help prevent stress from becoming a crisis:

1. Identify sources of stress in the family.

Sometimes stress comes from within the family, and at other times stress is from outside sources.

Internal stress is stress that comes from inside the family. The 2 main sources of internal stress are:

A. Normal growth and development – this takes place slowly over time. For example, adolescents may continually ask for a little more independence. Parents may then feel frustrated, but not really know the exact cause. Each new request puts a little more strain on the family.

B. Unresolved conflicts – this continues to build tension in the family. When old conflicts are not resolved, new problems add to the already existing stress.

Internal sources of stress are more likely to pile up into a crisis situation. Arguments and fighting are more common, good communication does not take place; physical problems such as sickness and sleeplessness tend to increase under stressful situations. The source of stress becomes even harder to identify. Sometimes families need to seek help from a profession al counsellor to identify the real source of internal stress.

External stress is stress caused by factors outside the family. Pressures from work, natural disaster, and war are examples. External stressors that produce crisis usually happen quickly without notice. They are likely to affect the whole family and sometimes whole communities.

2. Use outside resources to help handle the stress and its effects.

Involvement in a community can result in strong support from friends and neighbours. In times of stressful life events, community members can offer encouragement and understanding and other types of aid.

3. Foster good interaction skills with family members so they will cooperate in times of stress. The following can all aid the family in times of stress:

A. The Family’s viewpoint- A family’s viewpoint can make a difference in whether changing life experiences lead to crises or are merely seen as manageable problems. Sometimes the difference can be just the way the family looks at the situation.

B. Financial resources – Financial resources can help families handle stressful events. For example a savings plan can help during times of disaster or loss of income.

C. Flexibility – Family members will handle stress better and avoid crisis if they are flexible and able to adjust. Flexibility is a personal characteristic. It will help family members cooperate as they adjust to changing roles and balance the needs of the family.

D. Commitment – Family members need to be committed to meeting one another’s needs and showing support and encouragement. They need to be willing to make choices that consider the wellbeing of others in the family. Such commitment will help family members stick together to find solutions to family problems.

E. Good communication skills – Good communication skills need to be practiced all the time. Then when changes occur, the family will be able to share personal thoughts and feelings without offending or hurting each other.

F. Joint decision-making skills – As families make decisions together on a regular basis, they set patterns for decision making under stress. They know how to identify and evaluate their alternatives and develop a plan of action.

G. Negotiation skills – As families resolve conflicts through negotiation and compromise, they build mutual respect among members. They learn to work together to reach solutions that benefit all concerned. They learn to be family-oriented rather than self-oriented. In times of stress they can use these skills to resolve problems that could build into crisis situations.

H. Family support – Family members can build a strong social support group within a family, by spending time together, taking part in leisure activities, celebrating special events and starting their own traditions. Strong bonds between members can help a family work together to handle stressful events. They stick together, providing love and affection, companionship, social support and other types of aid.

In crisis, the family’s own interactions can be the most valuable resource for coping. Healthy, growing family members are more likely to succeed at working together to solve problems.

Coping With Crises

Even the most well-prepared family will experience some crises-producing events during the life cycle. Chronic illness, the death of a loved one, drug or alcohol abuse and unemployment are types of crises many families face. Often these events occur suddenly without time for preparation. They will be unexpected and inconvenient. Most likely, the family will not have prior experience dealing with them.

Family Coping Behaviors

When a crisis occurs, the family needs to use coping behaviour. Coping behaviour is planned behaviour that helps the family adjust as quickly as possible to changes that have taken place.

Four behaviours that a family can use to cope with a crisis are:

1. Understand the situation

- Ask what changes have taken or will take place

- Identify how the family is affected

- Use good communication skills

- Seek professionals who can provide information

2. Seek solutions to the problem

- Ask what can be done to handle the changes

- Keep a tolerant attitude

- Do not blame others for the problem

- Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol as coping aids

- Be open and flexible

- Look for a solution that benefits all family members

- Identify available resources in the family and community

3. Strengthen the family unit

- Set aside quiet uninterrupted times to talk

- Share thoughts and feelings openly

- Accept each other’s thoughts and feelings

- Encourage each other

- Take time for family leisure activities

4. Emphasize personal growth for individual family members

- Encourage all members to pursue individual interests

- Keep involved with friends and community

- Set goals for the future

- Make plans to reach personal and family goals

Coping behaviours helps stabilize the family so it can again fulfill its functions within lives of family members. As family members take steps to identify and implement a solution, they need an attitude of tolerance for each other. It takes open lines of communication and flexibility to do whatever needs to be done to cope with a crisis. It also takes commitment from members to find a solution that benefits everyone in the family.

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