Now you are touching on my passions! In the book I wrote ...



Chat Box Questions?How do we reach out to the isolated and lonely in a meaningful way?This is a great question and a very common question. I will answer it in two ways. The first is to say that the best way to engage those who are away for any reason is to use your members to do it , those who live next door and near those who are away or isolated. People are FAR more likely to talk to and trust their neighbor and coworkers they see regularly than to talk to anyone at the Church building if they have been away. This is the whole basis of the Catholic Churches evangelization push. We who know the Lord and have received the Lord must now go to the corners of the earth to meet the lost and lonely and forgotten (Read Matthew 28 & our this is the Sending Rite at Mass).The second part of that question deals with what will it take to get our active members to actually do that? What will it take to get their buy-in? What training would they need? What would those conversations look like? How do we guard against any members coming across as “pushy” or “arrogant”? What would our members need to be able to respond to questions or needs they hear from those who are away for any reason? What is our response as leaders if our members flat out refuse to do this (FYI…this will happen from at least some if not many)? What is the most positive way to present to leadership that small groups or small Christian communities are the path forward???Some leaders desperately want everything to go back the way it was, even if not good.I sense there is a story behind this question My first response is to remember that about half of the Israelites freely chose to return to Egypt and be slaves again because the fear of the unknown was so overwhelming. Change is hard and everyone responds to change differently. The key is how change or possible change is approached and managed. First, people must admit for themselves that there is a problem. Let’s be honest, there is a large portion of our parishes that truly don’t see a problem with how things are happening at the parish. The problem is “those” people no longer come to our great stuff. The only change needed to some is more people do things the way they are now. Education and dialogue is ALWAYS the first step. Explaining the why’s and how’s things can be different and why this is not crazy but actually in line with Church teaching. Second, where many people get stuck is imagining “the new”. We have to give people a very clear picture of what the new model is and how it works to relieve any anxiety. This is where video can be so helpful to show – not just tell – the story. Start small and maybe “Pilot” the model before opening up to the whole parish.Third, as change happens those who struggle with change need to see the evidence its working. Being very transparent and tell the story and allow people in those groups to tell how their faith has changed.Be patient and know that No often does not mean never, it just means not now. How do we transform the house of donuts to house of prayer; house of fish fries to house of faith, house of pancakes to house of faith sharing?Now you are touching on my passions! In the book I wrote for the US Bishops Conference back in 2017, We Lack for Nothing: Five Essentials to Grow the Church? I make the argument that our biggest challenge in the US Catholic Church is we have a major spiritual problem. Many of our “faithful” have run back to the Upper Room and locked the doors, afraid to discover what awaits beyond our places of comfort and protection. As was stated in the webinar from Pope Francis, many are more interested in our familiar structures, systems and routines rather than seeing the many hurting at our doors starving to be noticed, hungry for real spiritual food. This is a spiritual problem. We are receiving Jesus but have yet to become what we have received. We avoid being broken and poured out because we cling to what we want and like. We call it “touchy feely stuff” and “I don’t like to talk about my faith” without ever realizing that talking about our faith is EXACTLY what we are commanded to do by the same Lord we claim to worship and trust. We think it’s someone else’s job to do that stuff and not realize that our day is coming where we must give account to our creator how many of the lost we went after and how we responded to the people in our community and workplaces who desperately needed love, respect and honor. Did we see them or ignore them?People are hungering for in person encounter.??Zooming is not satisfying these needs.??What is a good balance?I agree 100% and count me among the “I am ready to be done with Zoom crowd”. However, we must endure and we must keep reaching out with what we have for now. This is why I also advocate for different communications. Make a video and send it rather than ask people to attend a virtual meeting. Switch it up….what about gathering for fellowship with ZERO meeting agenda items. Stop with the meetings or set a limit, no meeting longer than 60 minutes. We are seeing amazing things and creativity with some of our clients: virtual gatherings for moms only where they share their favorite quarantine recipes while sipping on some wine; virtual family game nights; pastor storybook hours before bed where he reads the kids a book; men gathering to share tips and favorites on topics such as fishing supplies/techniques or golf tips. The list is endless. It’s not that we are Zoomed out so much as it is that we are meeting’d out. Build relationships, connect parents, build community, add laughter.I see an excessive amount of control over anyone willing to step up to lead a small group.??This need for control completely discourages anyone from feeling equipped!??How do we navigate this?Again, I sense a backstory . So here’s the deal. Control freaks make terrible leaders. People don’t leave organizations, companies and even Churches because of what you do, you leave because those in leadership positions drive you out. We will put up with a lot of tough work for low pay, but if we feel valued and appreciated, we will stay and enjoy our work. However, even if we are paid great, eventually that is not enough to keep us around when those at the top or in charge create a toxic environment. It’s all about trust, power and perceived control.I have no idea why people can’t lead a small group on their own. In truth, most of us already do we just don’t call them small groups we call them golf leagues, book clubs, Zumba class etc…or whatever activities we are involved with. My guess is that there is some fear over studying proper interpretations of theology. While there is some validity to this concern, it can easily be overcome by training the leaders well and building in excellent communication systems. If you give the impression, I don’t trust you to kids, they get mad. If you give the impression, I don’t trust you to adults, they leave, take their family and don’t come back.Are the pivots linear???If not, which one is the best first pivot to take on?Not necessarily. The key is to talk as a team. Some of these your parish may already be acting on and others not so much. In the questions offered with this power point PDF, are some discussion question to guide you.I know that you have a consulting business that works on this, but what is the first step in organizing and sending parishioners into their own neighborhoods?The first step is to clean up your database and make sure that all family information is accurate and up to date. Experience tells us that unless your parish has done this in the past 3-5 or so years, at least 20% of your contact information is wrong. Like all organizations, you are only as good as the information you have on your people. In our coaching, we push for parishes to work on this regardless of how long it will be until they are ready to reach out to the neighborhoods. Certainly, Covid 19 has enforced the importance of this critical first step. What do I say to a pastor about apprenticeship formation when the pastor and families want a certain model of information formation?You say to not do it is to go against Church teaching. Sorry, that was a bit snarky of a reply but an honest one. Apprentice formation is not an idea. The Church documents have repeatedly told us to form our adults and students in this way and to move AWAY from a classroom lecture model because it does not work. It may be some individual parents and leaders preference but it contradicts Church Teaching. 1978 was the first Catechetical document following the Second Vatican Council and that is when we start to hear we should move away from learning facts model that was common in the Baltimore Catechism and move towards integrating young and old into the life of the parish by doing and reading. The National Directory of Catechesis in 2005 took it a step further and said “Adolescents develop the ability to reason deductively, making the use of systematic, formal methods of instruction more feasible. Despite this, deductive methods are more effective when preceded by induction—approaches that provide ‘experiences of lived faith, in which the message of salvation is applied to specific situations” National Directory of Catechesis, p.181 ................
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