HARD SELL - SimplyScripts
HARD SELL
A screenplay by
Dominic Morgan
(07952) 394229
EPISODE ONE
TEASER
INT. DANNY WELTONS HOME – NIGHT
FADE IN
CLOSE UP POV of DANNY WELTON’S wasted eyes. A DEEP BASSLINE plays. The camera zooms slowly out. He sits, comatosed, staring straight ahead. O.C sounds of a couple having sex energetically. As the camera zooms slowly out we see he is looking at a couple having rough sex. The camera zooms to just behind the couple, and then slowly back to his eyes as he passes out. The music and moaning distorts, and then disappears with a ‘Pooooofff’. FADE TO BLACK
TITLES (STORYBOARD 1)
HARD SELL - ACT ONE - “Born Again”
INT. DANNY WELTON’S HOUSE - 10:12 am - MONDAY MORNING
BLACK SCREEN. WHISTLING TINITIS. PHONE RINGING.
SOUND OF DOG LICKING.
DANNY WELTON lies on the floor. He is depicted as dead - sunken eyes, wild hair, stilton complexion - as a dog licks sick from his face. He comes round slowly and gets up, staggering into the kitchen. He runs a full sink and fills it with ice. He eats a mouthful of coffee beans- takes four paracetamol- plunges his face into the sink and pats it dry. Danny’s face is still caked with sick but he has his palour back. He staggers into the lounge and picks up a dictaphone. He struggles with his telephone, picks up the receiver and dials a number. He places the Dictaphone onto the phone speaker clumsily and waits for an answer, before playing a recorded message.
DANNY: (ON DICTAPHONE)
Hi Chantel, It’s Danny. Woe, woe, hold up.
I can’t explain now but I’m running a little late.
I’ll explain everything when I get there.
See you shortly.
Danny fingers with his hair whilst ‘on the phone’ and notices the sick. He finishes the call, leaves the dictaphone playing and goes to get dressed. The dictaphone continues.
DANNY: (ON DICTAPHONE)
Stacey – Memo for Charles Aitkin in response
to his request for sponsorship of the ‘Round Table’
football team. Charles, Many thanks for your
considering Regency Home Improvements as
worthy sponsors once again. I hold your work
with special needs teenagers in high esteem and
deeply relate to your cause. I will kindly decline
your tempting community offer however and
consider the matter closed as I hold little interest in
Twenty-two mongaloids shuffling around an
artificial pitch. Kind regards, Danny Welton.
On his desk by Wednesday please treacle.
Danny re-emerges in an immaculate suit and waistcoat. He still has sick caked to his face. He looks round to see where the noise is coming from and finds the Dictaphone.
DANNY: (ON DICTAPHONE)
Hmmmmm. Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey,
monkey, monkey, monkey, monk…
DANNY clicks off the dictaphone and switches on the radio. He looks in the mirror and screams- with his fists up. He realises it’s his own reflection, fingers with the sick and goes to the bathroom O.C.
SONG ON RADIO ENDS- RADIO ADS.
RADIO: (SEXY PORN LINE VOICE)
Shhhh. Listen. Ballards of Elmstead Market
are the leading used car dealers in South East Essex.
Visit our showroom, off the Hythe roundabout,
and find a wide range of Saloons, 4+4’s,
hot hatches and MPV’s all at sensational prices.
Ballards… The best there is!
RADIO: (1930’S ACCENTUATED ENGLISH GENTLEMAN)
Hallelujahhhhhhhh. If I told you just how little
Regency Home Improvements charged
for the finest quality Conservatories in the land,
you would have me shot as a blaggard.
Since I have no intention of being eliminated in
RADIO AD (Cntd)
such a manner I can only assure you to trust my
judgement and call 08000 REGENCY for the
finest quality UPVC Windows, Doors, Conservatories
and Roofline products in the land.
Call today for a free, no obligation quotation
and let us create your dream; the Regency way.
Regency Home Improvements,
where quality and satisfaction reign.
Danny enters the room again with immaculate hair and face. He switches off the radio, grabs his keys and staggers to the hall. He puts on an immaculate coat and intelligent glasses. He leaves the house as a woman walks in.
WIFE: (SARCASTIC)
Morning Danny!
DANNY: (PETULANT)
Drop dead.
DANNY approaches his car in the driveway.
FADE OUT
Seven speeches
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