Melissa and Joel’s baby-stuff-related advice for first ...



Melissa and Joel’s baby-stuff-related advice for first-time parents

Installment #1: Birth to 3 months (July 2004)

Caveat: This is what has worked for us and Benjamin. You know that I (Melissa) am very detail-oriented, so please consider this as you read our suggestions. Our goal is to spare you some of the decision-making agony we endured, and to help you figure out what is really important to think about before delivery (besides enjoying uninterrupted sleep and absolute spontaneity as much as possible). Hope this helps! ( Melissa and Joel

Major Resources: a book called Baby Bargains (referred to as BB below); Joel’s sister

Where we bought stuff: Babies R Us (BRUS); Once Upon A Child (OUAC, a national resale/surplus shop); Target. We didn’t explore online purchasing too much, but BB lists lots of websites if you prefer that route!

Bedding/Crib

• The Ultimate Crib Sheet (2) that goes on top of the regular crib sheets but are waterproof and super easy to deal with, especially since we have bumper pads. Only potential downside is they only come in white so it can mess up your “color scheme,” but, of course, the baby doesn’t care.

• Crib bedding (if desired)—we got 100% cotton from CompanyKids (division of Company Store, ) before we knew about the Ultimate Crib Sheet — it does look nicer to have something other than just the mattress below the Crib Sheet.

• Crib: Childcraft SKN #734163; we ordered through BRUS. Took three months to ship this from China, so order early if you want this one. Also took a “special order” fee. We like it, but most any modern crib will do; look for stable base, smooth wood.

• Mattress: Kolcraft Sealy UltraSoft (no hand-me-down mattresses as mold spores can cause SIDS!).

• Bumper Pads: We had bumper pads made by a friend because we liked the quality (ties on the top and bottom; sections instead of continuous; zippered in so don’t have to dry clean) of Wendy Bellissimo () but not the patterns or the price! Note that I just checked Wendy’s website and something new is coming this fall. To see her stuff, try any high-end baby store that sells bedding! You don’t need these though, according to the books, and have to take them out once baby can pull up or stand.

• Crib Set: A money-sucker that you don’t really need. We looked anyway, ‘cause some were cute, but beware of not 100% cotton, consider that your child WILL spit up/pee/poop and get it on the crib sheets at some point so you really want the Ultimate Crib Sheet anyway. Plus, you can’t put the fluffy quilt over the side of the crib (as in the pictures!) or IN the crib anyway since it is a suffocation hazard.

• Mobile: Definitely nice to have. We had a symphony one originally, but TOO busy, not soothing. We now have the Baby Einstein one from BRUS. It’s okay, but we had to take off a couple of the animals because it got off-balance and clicked and clicked. Still does that when it needs new batteries (more often than we’d like!) We also removed the little plastic rings as they seemed TOO much stimulation. Nice thing is the rings and the animals (finger puppets!) can still be used after baby can sit up and the mobile part has to be removed (leaving only the music part).

Other Baby Room Stuff

• Glider/Rocker and Footrest: The most expensive part of our baby wish list was our Dutalier set. It has already paid for itself. Ours reclines and rocks, and has been a godsend for caregivers and baby during middle-of-the-night feedings. Comfort and quality do really matter here, in our opinion.

• Dresser: We just bought a cheap assemble-it-yourself one at Target with 5 drawers, about $90.

• Bookshelf: Again from Target, assemble-it-yourself, an object that works just fine as a bookcase/supply shelf and fits nicely in the corner because it is tall and narrow ($40). Benjamin will slowly populate his room with books and bookcases, like the rest of the house. (

• Toybox: We are just using a laundry basket for now. He’s only just starting to manipulate objects and play with toys.

• Hamper: We just use a tall plastic container with a flip-top lid from Target – I think it’s sold as a trash can, but works great for us.

• Trash Can: In addition to the diaper pail, we have this for Q-tips, diaper plastic, etc. We might remove it when Benjamin is older…

• Changing Table: We bought a Fisher-Price one with 2 shelves below (book-case style) at OUAC for about $80. Other choices have drawers below. Really a personal choice, but beware that they can be expensive and not very sturdy at BRUS. (This may be that they’re all assemble-yourselves and the employees there might not put them together in the best way.) BRUS and some online stores sell a combo dresser with a changing table space on top; looks nice, but retails for between $500-$650.

• Changing Table Pad: Yes, most come with a thin one, but we REALLY LIKE the Simmons Juvenile 16632 Contour Pad, and over the lifetime of diaper changes, your baby(ies) will appreciate it!

• Changing Table Fitted Sheet: We have one, but it got dirty so quick that we gave up two days in and just use 2 cloth diapers now (or a thin blanket) and are much happier.

• Changing Table area toy: We just have a little rectangular mirror toy (really for use in the car) but it provides just the right amount of easy-to-clean entertainment to make diaper changes easier!

• Diaper Pail: We got the Diaper Champ because you can use the cheap “tall kitchen bags” in it. Doesn’t eliminate all odor so we have a can of Lysol (least scented seems to be Green Apple) on hand and leave a box of baking soda in the pail. Diaper Genie is the other popular one (have to buy their special bags). Diaper Dekor is another choice that can be used later as a regular trash pail (have to buy their special bags).

• Diapers: We chose to use disposables. We took Lynn’s advice and used Huggies because: 1) unscented and 2) she reports that the imitation brands are lesser quality (e.g., Velcro doesn’t restick if you need to adjust it). Definitely have some Newborn and Size 1 on hand before birth (note that 1/2 is next, followed by 2, 3… and some sizes (like 1/2) only come in bulk quantities while others (like 1) only come in smaller sizes). And, the wisdom about being careful not to buy too many of one size is right. Finally, we get them mostly at BRUS with a coupon, though Costco or Sam’s Club would be cheaper if you want to go that route. (Joel’s note: buy diapers in BULK. Estimate we’ve gone through about 500 diapers in the first three months, and I think we’re below average in that.)

• Baby Wipes: We use Huggies Natural Care (no scent) “Reach-In” tub. There are both “pop-up” and “reach-in” style to choose from. Also note that you have to buy one of the smaller sizes IN the tub before you buy the bulk wipes because otherwise you don’t get a tub! Same goes for the diaper bag case (buy separately) unless you happen to buy a diaper bag that has one or prefer to use the small package that is included with the bulk wipes. The imitation brands supposedly have more alcohol, but other people we know use them and have no problems. Also, we don’t use the super soft kind and Benjamin has had no problems from “too many wipes” (some advice we got suggested cotton balls only for the first few weeks, or to use a warm washcloth instead—I feel I already do enough laundry without doing that!)

• Diaper Rash Cream: Desitin, Balmex, and A & D all seem to work fine. A&D and Desitin were recommended to us, while the other was given to us. The smell of A&D can get a little annoying for parents, so we alternate between types every week or so…note that baby lotion, oil, or powder are not currently recommended, at least for newborns and up to 7-8 months. (Strike that. Caldescene powder is very nice, much better than the other creams, as soon as it can be used for your kid.)

• Baby Monitor: Fisher Price “Sound ‘n Lights” is the best; 2 receivers is nice for multiple rooms/floors. Depends on how big a place you’re living; we don’t even use it at night since our rooms are adjacent and we can hear Benjamin JUST fine. We got ones that could also run on battery so we can be outside while he’s asleep, though we rarely do that.

• Radio/CD player: You can listen to NPR in the middle of the night, play soothing lullabies, etc. during the many diaper changes and night-time feeding sessions. (Joel: I think this is really necessary, both for infant and parent. Music really can soothe the savage baby.)

• Humidifier: A cool-mist (won’t scald if baby tips it!) one is recommended in the winter/dry climates; we haven’t needed one yet.

• Battery-powered wall clock: We didn’t think of this at first but now find it really helpful for two reasons: Consistent tick-tock is a subtle “white noise” to soothe the baby; you can quickly see how long the feeding is taking, what time baby’s gone done for a nap, how much time you have to get that outfit changed to avoid being too late for that appointment, etc.

• Small lamp(s): We have a couple; one that helps illuminate baby’s bottom to make sure we get all the poop and another to provide a little light while feeding him. Think carefully about cords…

• Ceiling fan: We had no idea that babies love these, but it sure comes in handy now, in case you happen to have one! One of my friends said she’d install one after she saw how happy it made Benjamin! He can just stare and stare at it…

Other Baby Toiletries

• Baby Wash: We were given Johnson and Johnson and it works fine. No need to have separate “soap” and “shampoo”. Also have the Target brand, and it’s fine.

• Baby Bathtub: It’s nice to have, but really not essential. We have a hand-me down. For the sponge bath phase (before cord stub falls off), sitting in a sink on a warm towel is really fine. Now, Benjamin has been fine just bathing in the tub with daddy.

• Baby Washcloths/Towels: The smaller-sized, softer cloths are nice and hooded towels are nice. We recommend approx. 10 washcloths and 3 towels. Parental linens can be used, but might be a bit rough on soft skin.

• Bath Water Thermometer: My former-nanny friend AnneMarie got us a cute little dolphin that also makes sure the water is “just right” for baby (90-100 deg F.).

• Fingernails: They grow like crazy. Skip the nail clippers, get baby nail files instead.

• Grooming: A baby comb and brush (or two) are cute, but unnecessary.

• Baby Tylenol: Get it. It’s liquid in a dropper. A little to relieve circumcision pain, if you go that route with a boy, and definitely needed for vaccination days at the pediatrician. Joel made a special trip to the drugstore get some at 3am. (

• Nasal Aspirator: You’ll likely get one at the hospital anyway, so no need to buy one.

• Electronic Thermometer: First Years brand was recommended, but we ended up with BRUS brand (Especially for Baby) ‘cause that’s what we could find. Nice to have one that can do underarm or rectal. We’ve been told “ear” thermometers are not accurate in babies under 1 yr. Luckily, we haven’t had to use it yet.

• Umbilical Cord Care: Alcohol and Q-Tips; alcohol wipes are cheap and easy but can’t clean under the skin as easily.

• Circumcision Care: Get Vaseline from the hospital.

• Detergent: We just use the same no-dyes no-perfumes laundry detergent we’ve always used and had no problems. Any “-Free” detergent should be fine.

Feeding

• Burp cloths: Instead of special “burp cloths”, we have a bunch (20) of Bird’s Eye soft cloth diapers that work just fine (SKN 416576 at BRUS)

• Bibs: Velcro is your friend! And, you can’t have too many. We have 20 now, of varying sizes WITHOUT the little pocket to catch food as that isn’t necessary yet. These are for drool, spit-up, whatever.

• Boppy pillow: Great for feeding and supporting baby’s head even if you’re bottle-feeding. Get 2 covers so one can always be on!

• Pacifiers: Every baby is different so wait until birth to get too many (two is plenty). You’ll likely get one from the hospital anyway. We’ve been told that after 4 mo. they are not to be used (talk w/ your pediatrician) and avoid avoiding attaching with ribbons, strings, cords, or yarn (choking, suffocation hazard). Benjamin doesn’t like pacifiers at all; we’ll see what changes as he starts teething!

• Sterilizing: We use the Avent Microwave Sterilizer for bottles and breast pump parts, bottle nipples, etc. It’s FAST and easy. Your dishwasher may have a “sterilize” setting, if you want to use that.

• Bottles: We have Avent Sampler Set and 3 extra 9 oz. bottles. You’ll need more nipples later, but no need to worry about that before delivery!

• Bottle Drying Rack/Brush: We have 2 small racks and one Avent brush (may need less if breastfeeding and not pumping)

• Bottle Warmer: We just microwave a mug with a bit of water on high for 1 min. Sometimes that’s too slow for Benjamin, but babies are impatient.

• Formula: Cheapest with iron is fine for most babies. Benjamin’s happy with store-generic powder, but I know some babies like more expensive Similac or Enfamil, or the pre-made liquid stuff. Even if you breast-feed, it’s good to have some of this on-hand as a backup.

• Breastpump: I use the Medela Pump-N-Style; yes, it’s the most expensive, but is worth it depending on the rental cost in your area and how long you will be pumping, or want the mobility that renting a hospital industrial pump won’t offer. Since I pump so often, I have 2 extra sets of breast shields and collection bottles. Wait and see what you need.

• Tips for a breastfeeding mom: Lansinoh lanolin and Lansinoh disposable nursing pads are the best. “Milk Duds” brand cotton nursing pads are good too, and washable. Button-down shirts are nice (borrow your husband’s if applicable) — beware that your cup size may be much different after delivery than now! Special Addition is a great store in Austin that is really supportive and has great bras and helpful staff (website: ).

• High Chair: Fisher Price Healthy Care is what Joel’s sister uses and likes and BB recommends. Haven’t used it yet!

Clothes

• Benjamin likes sleepers and onesies and that was easy for us. Carter’s is available everywhere and works fine. Check for 100% cotton. We like snaps all the way down and recommend avoiding zippers and elastic and drawstrings, as Benjamin didn’t like sleepsacks. We recommend 5 sleepers and 5-6 onesies of each of the sizes (newborn/0-3 mo.; 3-6 mo.; 6-9 mo.; 9-12 mo.) that make sense for your climate. Note: You will likely receive PLENTY of clothes to cover the first few days at least, and you’ll be doing laundry often anyway, so wait and see what your baby likes and how big she/he is before investing in too many clothes!

• Socks/shorts/pants are a pain. We don’t recommend for the first couple of months. Keep it simple, we suggest.

• And, yes, we washed ALL of his clothes, blankets, towels, etc. before the first use to make sure all chemicals, etc. were off and to soften things up.

• Hats are good, though you really only need a few (probably get as gifts/from hospital). We bought a baseball cap for sun protection too.

• Mittens: Haven’t used the hand-me-downs yet!

• Convertible(waterproof/fleece) infant car seat cover is great—quick, simple, and avoids the need for a special clothing layer for going out!

• Baby-sized flannel blankets: Having 6-8 of these is nice, because they’re light and easy and are a great way to ‘add a layer’ easily. We’ve also had no problems with fleece fabric from the fabric store. They make great soft blankets for floor/tummy time.

• Swaddling cloths: While Joel could swaddle with a flannel blanket, I needed the larger size Gerber swaddling cloths. 4-6 are good to have. Benjamin liked to be swaddled tightly for about the first 6-7 weeks.

Travel

• Infant carrier: We have a hand-me-down Evenflo Cozy Carrier with bases for each car. These are SUPER handy, as you don’t have to keep transferring the baby from car seat to stroller or shoulder with each errand. Check BB, but definitely get one that has the highest weight limit possible as it sure is easier than a regular car seat. Find out how to get your car seat set-up inspected BEFORE DELIVERY in your area. I had the best luck calling the Health Resource Center for my hospital, as some of the national child car safety seat websites were outdated!

• Car seat for later (starting at 6-12 months): Evenflo Triumph 5 Convertible (forward and rear-facing)

• Mirror/toy: There’s this great toy that wraps or otherwise adheres to the backseat or headrest above baby so you can see her/him and she/he has something interesting to look at

• Sunshade: The safest option is a static cling style. Our car seat inspector mentioned to think carefully about ANYTHING we are putting around the baby in the car and the possibilities in an accident. So, those cute pull-down shades that suction to the window aren’t recommended since they could poke an eye out. Remote, but a possibility.

• Baby Bjorn: This carrier allows the baby to be against your chest facing you or away from you with two free hands. Nice for walks in the woods/neighborhood, or other places that a stroller is not convenient. Slings are another option. We’ve used it some, but used a stroller more, actually.

• Strollers: We started with a reversible hand-me-down Peg Perego that fully reclined. Nice for the first few months! Now we have a Peg Perego Aria LB for neighborhood, in-town, and road trip stuff and a Combi Savvy Soho for plane trips (cheaper but high-quality, super-light, comes with carrying case and carrying strap, very compact). Peg Perego is an Italian company that makes the best strollers according to BB. They are very high quality, will make it through multiple kids, good resale value, but are definitely more pricey than other brands. You need to think about what you’ll use the stroller for before making a decision. Remember that the kid gets heavy quickly!! BB has a nice review.

• Pack-N-Play: Graco brand is best. We used the bassinet feature for naps for the first 7 weeks or so. Haven’t used lately, but expect to for travel and for when he is more mobile. Lots of accessory choices depending on your needs/desires.

• Diaper Bag: We got a free one at the hospital, and just bought a Catini one that is very similar to it. We also have a Catini backpack style one that is nice for longer outings. BB recommends Land’s End or Eddie Bauer brands.



Toys

• Activity Mat: Ask for help at BRUS or look on our website to see one. Won Toy of the Year and a HIT with all the kids we know!!! Joel says ESSENTIAL and I say, what would you say to a toy that can entertain a three-month-old for an hour?

• Lamaze brand toys of any kind — have fun putting these on your registry. The monkey, horse, cube, and pyramid rattle are already favorites of Benjamin’s.

• Swing: We have a hand-me-down that swings both forward and backward and side to side. Benjamin seems to like the traditional forward/backward better. GREAT for putting a fussy baby to sleep in the early evening!

• Fussy Chair: We have a hand-me-down. Benjamin doesn’t like that much yet.

• Exercise Saucer: Don’t get one with wheels. We have a hand-me-down.

• Books: The latest word is “it’s never too early to read to your child.” We didn’t read particular “baby books” for the first month though as we were in basic survival mode and Benjamin didn’t really care!!

• Note: Wait until you see what you get as gifts and what kind of things your baby finds soothing before going too wild…

Miscellaneous

• is an easy way to start a college fund without spending any extra money. Note that you can’t really do much with financial accounts for baby until he/she gets a social security number.

• If you are considering breastfeeding, definitely find a lactation consultant. More often than not, things aren’t as simple as they seem…

• Moms may need time to recover too. You’ll want some super-absorbent maxipads (no tampons!) for discharge for at least the first month, and be aware that you may have hemorrhoids for the first time ever!

• Arrange for help during the first few weeks BEFORE you go to the hospital. You’ll be glad you did!

• Pack the freezer with food, or have friends sign up for days to bring the adults food, as you’ll be BUSY with other things the first few weeks (months, years…)

• Straws make it easier for parents to stay hydrated while feeding the baby, and provide a way for mommy-to-be to drink while reclining during those last few weeks and through delivery!

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