The Man That You Ought To Be - Sermon Outlines. Org



The Man That You Ought To Be

(Proverbs 22, Ephesians 5:25, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 6:1-4)

Introduction:

Two first graders were overheard talking as they left Sunday School class. One of them said, “Do you really believe all that stuff about the devil?” The other one said, “No, I think it’s like Santa Claus. It’s really your dad.”

Well, I hope none of you feel that way about your Dad. I guess if you do, then John 8:44 is the verse for you.

(John 8:44) Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Today is the day that we honor Fathers. And honored Fatherhood is more than just about being a biological father. It’s like the little girl who looked her dad in the face and said, “You’re better than just a father. You’re a DADDY!”

We’re honoring Daddy’s today; particularly those who have exemplified a genuine and vibrant relationship with Jesus, and those who have exhibited an unconditional love for their children.

If you have ever used any of the following expressions, then there’s probably someone that knows you as Daddy…

Don’t ask me; ask your mother.

Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.

Now you listen to ME, Mister!

I’ll play catch after I read the paper.

Who said life was supposed to be fair.

If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.

You call that a haircut?

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?

Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.

You call that noise “music”?

We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.

As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.

I’ll tell you why, because I said so. That’s why.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.

This is your last warning.

I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!

What part of NO don’t you understand?

I don’t care what other people are doing! I’m not everybody else’s father!

Don’t use that tone with me!

If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...

Act your age.

Enough is enough!

Don’t make me stop the car!

What did I just get through telling you?

It’s quite a privilege (and often quite a challenge) to be a Father.

This morning, I feel that it’s my assignment from God to issue a challenge to every man in the building; a challenge to be the men that we ought to be.

I do not presume to have the authority within myself to tell you what kind of man you ought to be, but the one who has the right to tell us is Almighty God. And His holy Word authoritatively and unapologetically sets forth the principles of manhood and fatherhood.

Simon Peter asked a question in 2 Peter 3:11. He said, “what manner of persons ought ye to be…?”

The Word of God tells us what manner of persons we ought to be and what kind of men we ought to be.

1. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Person He Ought To Be

2. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Partner (Husband) He Ought To Be

3. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Parent He Ought To Be

I. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Person He Ought To Be

(Proverbs 22)

Now obviously, if you are not a saved man, God wants you to have a relationship with Himself…

(John 3:17) For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

And for those who are saved, God wants you to become more and more like Jesus…

(Romans 8:29) For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Really, this whole book teaches us what kind of person we ought to be, but to get just a glimpse of God’s ideals for manhood, I want us to look in Proverbs 22.

One of Solomon’s intentions in sharing these proverbs was to help his son to become a wise man…

(Proverbs 1:1-9) The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; {2} To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; {3} To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; {4} To give subtlety to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. {5} A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: {6} To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. {7} The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. {8} My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: {9} For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

a. In Proverbs 22, Solomon Points To The Ways Of The Wise Man (vs. 1-9)

b. In Proverbs 22, Solomon Points To The Warnings For The Wise Man (vs. 10-16)

c. In Proverbs 22, Solomon Points To The Words Of The Wise Man (vs. 17-29)

A. Notice The Decisions Of This Person

(Proverbs 22:1) A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

1. He Chooses Character

name – Hebrew 8034. shem, shame; a prim. word [perh. rather from H7760 through the idea of definite and conspicuous position; comp. H8064]; an appelation, as a mark or memorial of individuality; by implication it means honor, authority, character:-- + base, [in-] fame [-ous], name (-d), renown, report.

name – Hebrew OT:8034. shem, “name; reputation; memory; renown.”

(From Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words)

He chooses reputation over riches. (See the Pulpit Commentary)

2. He Chooses Compassion

loving – Hebrew 2896. towb, tobe; from H2895; good (as an adj.) in the widest sense.

loving – OT:2896. tob, “good; favorable; festive; pleasing; pleasant; well; better; right; best.” (Vine’s Dictionary)

favour – Hebrew 2580. chen; graciousness, i.e. subj. (kindness, favor) or objective (beauty): --, grace (-ious), pleasant, precious.

B. Notice The Discernment Of This Person

1. He Exhibits Discernment As He Acknowledges The Development In His Journey

(Proverbs 22:2) The rich and poor meet together: the LORD is the maker of them all.

Though the rich and the poor are unequal in worldly means, yet they are equal in respect to creation and common nature. In spite of the conventional distinctions of property and position, they meet on a common footing in many things. They meet on a level in respect to the common weaknesses of humanity, sickness, and death. So in the house of God. (From Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown Commentary)

maker – Hebrew 6213. 'asah, aw-saw'; a primary root meaning to do or make, in the broadest sense and widest application (as follows). It is rendered in the Old Testament as -- accomplish, advance, appoint; bear, bestow, bring forth; fashion, fulfill, furnish; gather, get, govern, grant. He has ____ them all.

2. He Exhibits Discernment As He Anticipates The Danger In His Journey

(Proverbs 22:3) A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.

If the simple see the evil, yet they do not see it in its true magnitude. They are so hurried away by their passions that they recklessly pass on. The godly prudent, through spiritual instinct, guided by Scripture, along with experience, often foresee spiritual danger, and shun it. (From Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown Commentary)

foreseeth – Hebrew 7200. ra'ah, raw-aw'; a prim. root; to see

evil – Hebrew 7451. ra', rah; from H7489; bad or (as noun) evil (nat. or mor.):--adversity, affliction, bad, calamity

hideth – Hebrew 5641. cathar, saw-thar'; a prim. root; to hide (by covering), lit. or fig.:--be absent, keep close, conceal, hide (self), (keep) secret, X surely.

C. Notice The Devotion Of This Person

1. There Is Devotion To Humility

(Proverbs 22:4) By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life.

humility – Hebrew 6038. 'anavah, an-aw-vaw'; from H6035; condescension, human and subj. (modesty), or divine and obj. (clemency):--gentleness, meekness.

fear – Hebrew 3374. yir'ah, yir-aw'; fem. of H3373; fear (also used as infin.); reverence.

riches – Hebrew 6239. 'osher; from H6238; wealth.

honour – Hebrew 3519. kabowd, kaw-bode'; rarely kabod, kaw-bode'; from H3513; prop. weight; but only fig. in a good sense, splendor or copiousness: --glorious (-ly), glory.

life – Hebrew 2416. chay, khah'ee; from H2421 (to live, to revive); alive.

riches, and honour, and life = value, virtue, vitality

2. There Is Devotion To Holiness

(Proverbs 22:5) Thorns and snares are in the way of the froward: he that doth keep his soul shall be far from them.

[Thorns and snares] Various difficulties, trials, and sufferings (From Adam Clarke’s Commentary)

froward – Hebrew 6141. 'iqqesh; distorted; hence false: --crooked, perverse.

keep – Hebrew 8104. shamar, shaw-mar'; a prim. root; prop. to hedge about (as with thorns), i.e. guard; gen. to protect, attend to, etc.

A few weeks ago, in the Mother’s Day sermon, I stayed in one chapter. But we men are so thickheaded, that it requires us to go to about four different passages for the instruction we need. Next we see…

II. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Partner He Ought To Be

(Ephesians 5:25, 1 Peter 3:7)

A. The Bible Teaches The Husband How He Is To Love His Wife

(Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1. Notice The Concept Of His Love

love – Greek NT:25. agapao, to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of: denotes to take pleasure in the thing, prize it above other things, be unwilling to abandon it or do without it.

(From Thayer’s Greek Lexicon)

2. Notice The Comparison Of His Love

as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it

gave – Greek 3860. paradidomi, par-ad-id'-o-mee; from G3844 and G1325; to surrender, i.e. yield up, intrust, transmit:--betray, bring forth, cast, commit, deliver (up), give (over, up), hazard, put in prison, recommend.

The love of Christ for the church was a totally committed love.

The husband is to love his wife with a “no matter what” kind of love, with an unconditional love, and a totally committed love.

B. The Bible Teaches The Husband How He Is To Live With His Wife

(1 Peter 3:7) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

dwell with them – Greek 4924. sunoikeo; to reside together (as a family).

1. With Awareness

according to knowledge

knowledge – Greek 1108. gnosis; knowing (the act), i.e. (by implication) knowledge: --knowledge, science.

knowledge – Greek NT:1108. gnoosin, the intelligent comprehension of an object or matter, whether this comes for the first time, or comes afresh, into the consideration of the one who grasps it (“to come to know,” “to experience,” “to perceive [again]”) or whether it is already present (“to perceive”).

(Theological Dictionary of the New Testament)

Because this word for “knowledge” is also translated as “science,” perhaps I am supposed to be a professor of Angie-ology.

If you say, “I never knew you felt that way,” you have not studied enough.

2. With Appreciation

giving (bestowing) honour

honour – Greek 5092. time, tee-may'; from G5099; a value, i.e. money paid, or (concr. and collect.) valuables; by anal. esteem (espec. of the highest degree), or the dignity itself:-- precious, price, some.

Husbands should keep a special place of honor in their hearts for their wives. They should treat them with special deference, courtesy, respect, and kindness. The word “vessel” is the translation of a Greek word referring to a vessel used in the services of the temple (Mark 11:16), also to household utensils. The English word comes from a Latin word vasellum, the diminutive form of vas, a vase, the Latin words referring to a receptacle which covers and contains. Thus, the word comes to refer to an instrument whereby something is accomplished. It is used in the latter sense here. The word is used of Paul who is called “a chosen vessel” (Acts 9:15), a chosen instrument of God. The husband is to dwell with the wife, remembering that she is an instrument of God, a child of God to be used by Him to His glory. The husband must ever keep in mind that she is the weaker instrument of the two, not morally or intellectually, but physically. (Wuest’s Word Studies)

… and I would add weaker emotionally

She is like a delicate, fragile vase (though some women want to appear so invulnerable as to make you think that they are like a cast iron skillet instead of a fragile vase).

The husband should pay due honor to the wife because she is a joint-heir together with him of the grace of life, eternal life, the gift of God. That is, he is ever to remember that Christ died for her as well as for him. Her soul is just as precious in the sight of God as his is. This admonition was especially needed at the time when this letter was written because of the low place in general which was accorded womanhood. … Christian husbands today will do well to heed this admonition. The husband is to pay her honor so that their prayers be not hindered. The word “hindered” in the Greek text means literally “to cut in, to interrupt.” Failure to give due honor to the wife will result in a cutting in on the efficacy of their united prayer times. (Wuest’s Word Studies)

III. The Bible Shows A Man What Kind Of Parent He Ought To Be

A. Paul Mentions The Prohibited Point In Parenting

(Ephesians 6:4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

1. Do Not Provoke Them – This May Lead To A Bitterness Of Spirit

provoke … to wrath – Greek 3949. parorgizo, par-org-id'-zo; from G3844 and G3710; to anger alongside, i.e. enrage:--anger, provoke to wrath.

Paul’s first command to parents is negative: fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. That was a totally new concept for Paul’s day, especially in such pagan strongholds as Ephesus. Most families were in shambles, and mutual love among family members was almost unheard of. A father’s love for his children would have been hard even to imagine. By the Roman law of patria potestas a father had virtual life and death power not only over his slaves but over his entire household. He could cast any of them out of the house, sell them as slaves, or even kill them—and be accountable to no one. A newborn child was placed at its father’s feet to determine its fate. If the father picked it up, the child was allowed to stay in the home; if the father walked away, it was simply disposed of—much as aborted babies are in our own day. (John MacArthur, Jr.)

To provoke … to anger suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep-seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility. (John MacArthur, Jr.)

Provoke not – by vexatious commands, unreasonable blame, and uncertain temper (Alford).

(From Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown Commentary)

2. Do Not Provoke Them – This May Lead To A Brokenness Of Spirit

Paul told the parents, “Don’t use your authority to abuse the child, but to encourage and build the child.” To the Colossians he wrote, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). So, the opposite of “provoke” is “encourage.” (Warren W. Wiersbe from The Bible Exposition Commentary)

(Colossians 3:21) Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

discouraged – Greek 120. athumeo, ath-oo-meh'-o; from a comp. of G1 (as a neg. particle) and G2372 (passion); to be spiritless, i.e. disheartened (without passion – the word suggests a brokenness of spirit):--be dismayed.

B. Paul Mentions The Prescribed Path In Parenting

(Ephesians 6:4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

1. This Is Parenting With A Life Goal In Mind

bring them up – Greek 1625. ektrepho, ek-tref'-o; from G1537 and G5142; to rear up to maturity, i.e. (gen.) to cherish or train:--bring up, nourish.

Based on the root words, this word seems to have the idea of bringing the child beyond (our “out of” – ek) the stage of nourishing and parental support and pampering so that they are not dependent upon your level of maturity, but they enter into their own level of maturity.

Cf. (3 John 1:4) I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

2. This Is Parenting With The Lord God In Mind

in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (discipline and direction that points them to God)

The word nurture in the Authorised Version in the original bears the sterner meaning; and refers to the discipline which comes through correction; while admonition suggests counsel, advice, reproof, exhortation, and all the intellectual and moral influences whereby a young soul may be trained for its work.

(J. B. Brown from The Biblical Illustrator)

The parent is the spiritual guardian of his children. He cannot delegate to another the responsibility that God will some day call him to account for. In caring for their children’s health, happiness, and worldly prospects, etc., parents are often least anxious about the most essential point, the spiritual welfare of their family. – W.F.A. (From The Pulpit Commentary)

Home is the place where the children ought to learn about the Lord and the Christian life. It is time that Christian parents stop “passing the buck” to (Church and) Sunday School teachers and Christian dayschool teachers, and start nurturing their children. (Warren W. Wiersbe from The Bible Exposition Commentary)

Of the Lord - such as the Lord approves, and by His Spirit dictates. (Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown Commentary)

Conclusion: In closing, I want to go back to Proverbs 22…

(Proverbs 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

train – Hebrew OT:2596. a verb that means to train up, dedicate (the underlying concept of this word is derived from the idea of a midwife rubbing the palate of a newborn child with chewed dates or olive oil in order to give the baby an appetite before it begins to suck. The word also has the idea of getting the child accustomed to something or initiating them. (From Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon)

Have you ever had something to eat that was bad or rotten or sour? And for a long time after that, you could not eat that particular type of food. Often, I think, a child tastes something rotten or sour or hypocritical or insincere in their parent’s Christianity and it turns their stomach to the things of God. But when we give them a taste of that which is true and genuine and healthy and God-honoring, they may not partake of it like they ought to, but they never lose a taste for it.

My father’s faith was genuine enough that it never soured my stomach to the things of God. There was something genuine in the testimony that he exhibited as a person, as a husband, and as a father.

That’s how I want to be with my sons.

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