AOS Parenting Class
Army of Saints
Parenting Empowerment Class
By:
Army of Saints
()
“Those who meditate learn true self-control and treat the world as a single organism. They realize their time or their passion allows them to give back someday, though they will best take care of themselves first. After this, they will best take care of their family and friends. After this, they will best take care of their community. After this, they will best take care of their nation. After this, they will best take care of their world. And after working in this direction as best they could along the way, they will be complete”
-Unknown
“Real change only comes to youth when they believe you give a damn about them – so do so” – Army of Saints
Table of Contents
*These are for the AOS Instructor and/or Staff Member Instructor to read during Week 1 without parents present (just come in an hour early and go through these before starting the official Class 1 with youth)
*Introduction (before starting Class 1)…………… ………………………………………..……………..….3
*How to Do Public Speaking (before starting Class 1) ………….…………………………………….……..4
*Conducting a Community Seminar / Class (before starting Class 1)………………………………………..5
*The Order of Your Actual Class/Community Seminar (before starting Class 1)……………………………6
Class 1: Parent Questionnaires (100% Confidential)… ………………………………………………………7, 8
Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old……………………………………….9-18
For weekly parents in weekly small classes: Please make copies for them on Week 1 for Class 1!
For large one-time community parent seminars: Please make copies to give them at start of seminar!
(Substance-less Medicine to Handout at Every Seminar / Class; Class 1 …………………………………..19,20
(Paying for Your Health, Class 1…………………………………………………………………………….21
(Natural Remedies for Common Problems Class 1………………………………………………………….22, 23
(Nutrition Chart of Champions; Class 1……………………………………………………………………..24
Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old…………………………………….25-32
Class 2: Parenting Activity if time provides after class…...………………………………………….……...33
Class 3: Parents Mentor Timeline and More…………………………………………………………………34-37
Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity.………………………………………38-45
Class 5: Guiding a Child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied……….46-55
Class 5: (just handed out, not discussed in class time!) How to help your child find a job…….………56-59
Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid…………….60-65
Class 6: (just handed out, not discussed in class time!) Military entry handout for those interested…66-71
Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families…………………………………………………….72-79
Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-Drug Anti-Violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children.....80-91
Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children………………………………………………………..92-99
Class 9: Discussion Activity if time provides after class…………………………………………..……….100
Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected……………………………………………………………101-108
Class 10: Discussion Activity if time provides after class…………………………………………..……….109
AOS Health and Wellness Series – Introduction for Staff Members and AOS Instructors
Welcome to Army of Saints Parenting Empowerment Class Series. Our parenting series presents a range of topics that you will in turn teach to your parents over 3 month increments in weekly workshops. Class times are a recommended once a week for 1-1.5 hours (you decide). This allows ample time to review what is already known by your audience and what is not. We always begin and end classes with anonymous quizzes and confidential questionnaires. To validate improvement and efficient teaching methods, you must always fill out the data on the “AOS Parenting Data Trackers”. If this is the very first time this program is being offering to parents, that means that a staff member (you) of the public school or youth organization is present at each of these weekly classes. The first priority is for you to set up a weekly class meeting time with parents interested: at least once a week. Try to find a night that works for everyone. Usually the time frame for meetings works best for a 1 hour meeting between the hours of 5:00pm-8:00pm on a day Monday-Friday, somewhere in-between these afterschool hours. Please immediately contact each other and decide on the weekly meeting times now before Week 1 starts!
There are two types of parenting classes you can hold year-round:
1) Week-to-week classes – For people interested in free parenting classes at your location, the entire curriculum is about 3 months. It is designed for about 3 months or 12 weeks. Your weekly classes have up to 15 parents; if you feel you are capable of teaching more than this that is up to you. You can teach our entire parenting curriculum four times a year (i.e. every 3 months a new group) and we hope you do!
2) Large community seminars – Here you choose a single weekly class topic (i.e. children’s health, how divorce affects a child, etc) to teach to an entire community audience of adults in your city or town. We ask that every organization we certify host at least 4 public parenting seminars a year, with an expected turnout of at least 20 parents. The bigger the numbers here, the better. You will conduct the class similarly, but with a much larger group of people.
***Before doing large community seminars, always refer to our “How to Do Public Speaking” section and “Conducting a Community Seminar” section to refresh yourself on important details.
To staff members: For your learning, it is imperative you ask questions as the class goes on so you become fully immersed and comfortable presenting this information to large groups of people. You will maintain communication with your designated Army of Saints instructor during your teaching time at your youth organization. You will be notified if your designated Army of Saints contact person changes at any time.
If you are a staff member who already has strong experience in our curriculum (i.e. you have years experience dealing and educating parents in general) it is likely you are just taking this curriculum straight from us to immediately start teaching on your own for your youth. In this case, just begin teaching, starting with your own reading of our Class 1 material and please remember to fill out our “AOS Parenting Data Trackers” as you go along that you will be sending to us at the end of the curriculum. You email this form every year to armyofsaints@ so we can keep track of how many people we are able to help.
HOW TO DO PUBLIC SPEAKING
Here are important tips to follow in your lectures. In order to help you, we offer the following reminders:
1) Face your audience and have eye contact – If your audience cannot see your face, they lose you. Likewise, if you do not make continuous eye contact with different people, they will not stay engaged.
2) Never read material word for word – When teaching, imagine the difference between a teacher reading a lesson plan word for word, paragraph for paragraph in front of kids. Of course, they will lose all interest in a matter of minutes. However, if a teacher paraphrases the information given and can add helpful icebreakers, this facilitates better learning. Appropriate humor can be a great aid too!
Example:
Poor Communication: “We will discuss vitamins today. We’ll start out talking about Vitamin A. This vitamin affects vision and is an important antioxidant. It is found in carrots and chili peppers”
Good Communication: “Hello everyone, today I want to go through some basics on vitamins. We’ll start with Vitamin A. So my first question is, who hear likes carrots or chili peppers? For me, I love spicy food so I get my Vitamin A from chili peppers. It’s so important because it takes care of our eyes”
3) It’s better to speak a little slower with a lot of people – When faced with a large group, some people tend to be more nervous and subconsciously speak a little faster. Try to avoid this by consciously telling yourself to go a little slower. In reality, you will be speaking at the same pace.
4) Know your audience – Many parents come from many cultural backgrounds and various situations. Be aware of this during your speaking.
5) Never make up answers – If someone asks you a question and you honestly do not know it with our information we provide you, then it is always best to say “I’m not sure about that, but if you write down that question I will find out and get back to you”. Never ever make up answers; it is unethical and unfair to a group of people you are trying to educate.
6) Speak loudly and walk around– Project your voice so everyone can easily hear you. People quickly lose interest if they cannot hear what you are saying. What around the room to from side to side.
7) Use psychology – Much of the treatment and prevention we discuss requires lifestyle changes that often meet resistance from parents. Never force decisions on people and say “you have to do this!” People want free will. A key line to use is “I’ll give you the comparison, I’ll share the facts and most of the suggestions presented here. You care about your children and we want you to make decisions with good information”. Now you have cleverly put the responsibility on parents.
CONDUCTING A PARENTING COMMUNITY SEMINAR
For teaching an Army of Saints Parent Empowerment seminars, it helps to outline how the seminar can be run. Remember, we ask every nonprofit organization we certify to teach at least 4 parenting seminars a year. Your nonprofit will choose one of our topics listed in one of our “weekly class” curriculum and instead of teaching it to your regular group of weekly parent members, you now get to teach it to an entire community audience of parents! If you are comfortable doing so, it is okay to teach a topic for a community seminar that you have not yet taught in your week-to-week curriculum (you can also re-teach the same class topic 4 times a year if you think it is popular & important). Here are important details to remind you of what you are doing; PRINT THIS PAGE AND CHECK EACH OF THESE OFF AS YOU DO IT FOR EACH SEMINAR!
___1) The topic – Which of our classes does your community need you to teach? While different areas have different problems, in the United States, and many other parts of the world, some very popular topics in parenting challenging society today are divorce, talking to children about sexuality, etc. Most nonprofits choose a different topic to teach every couple months at their facility to a large crowd, however you can continually focus on one topic to re-teach if you feel it is appropriate and important your community.
How to teach: Simply paraphrase the information provided, but make sure you understand it!
___2) The location – Most nonprofits have sufficient space in one room of the location to hold up to 100 people or even more. A large space is desirable as people do not like being crammed into a tiny area for a long period of time. If you do not have sufficient space, consider if a local public school will let you run the class there. Be sure chairs can be provided.
___3) The time - Normally 60 - 75 minutes should be plenty of time to conduct a health seminar on a single topic. It should be done afternoons or evenings and we find anywhere between 4:00pm- 8:00pm is a good time slot for families to attend. Doing it after work hours permits an entire family to be there. Leave 10 minutes at the end for questions. If you do not know the answer to a question, tell them to write it down and give it to you; you can follow up with us and get back to them after.
___4) The audience – Your goal is to have entire families go and many youth.
___5) Your helper(s) – You should always have at least one, if not two or three, helpers for a community seminar. Obviously, you will need help setting up chairs and passing out the quizzes at the beginning and the end of the seminar.
___6) The quizzes and handouts – Make copies of the pre-quizzes and post-quizzes for however many you need. Also, remember you will ALWAYS hand out our Nutrition Chart, Substance-less Medicine page and Paying For Your Health pages, regardless of what class you are teaching. If it’s not relevant to your class, tell them to read it later. So make enough copies of these pages too!
___7) OPTIONAL: Visual aids – We do not require this, but if you have the means to us overhead projectors or own powerpoints that is wonderful and feel free to do so. People may have related posters on a topic; this is okay too but be sure to cover our material. None of this is necessary; don’t worry if you cannot.
___8) Advertise it – Market your parenting seminar through other grassroots groups you may work with
THE ORDER OF YOUR ACTUAL ONE HOUR PARENTING SEMINAR / CLASS
**Please print out this paper to refer to when teaching regular classes or community seminars
1) INTRO: Always begin each class or community seminar with who you are, your nonprofit, and a brief statement about why parenting is important to you. Then introduce the topic you will be teaching.
a) Tell people if they must go the bathroom, it is okay to just get up and go. They must turn phones to vibrate.
b) Tell people if they have questions, to write it down and ask it at the end unless it is a fast question
c) Tell parents if they have an infant or child excessively crying during the seminar if they will leave the room.
d) Begin each session saying “I am here to inform you about important parenting information that is referenced by major groups like the CDC or World Health Organization. However, if you have any questions regarding your health or your child’s health, you should always see your healthcare provider.
2) PRE-QUIZ: Give everyone five minutes to complete the pre-quiz. Tell them they should not put their names on the quiz; it is supposed to be anonymous. Then collect the quizzes. Have your helper grades the pre-quizzes giving the number of people that failed and passed. Begin the class and when your helper has the results, announce it to the class. A passing grade is 70% or better on our quizzes.
3) TEACH THE CLASS: Go through your class section and begin paraphrasing the information we have supplied you for the topic. Remember to review our “How to Do Public Speaking” piece to make sure you are being a good public speaker. Target teaching time is 60 minutes – no more than this.
a) Always start by handing out “Substance-less medicine”, “Nutrition Chart of Champions”, “Paying for Your Health” and “Natural Remedies” sheets – take 5 minutes here to briefly explain the importance of all 4 and remind them to see a licensed healthcare professional if they ever have any medical situation and what you give is solely free information and should not be taken as actual medical advice. Tell people to read it later. Tell them this is “bonus information” for coming and participating.
b) Now handout all the public handouts pages that are specific to your class today to everyone as you begin to teach.
c) Never force decisions on people and say “you have to do this!” People want free will. A key line to use is
“I’ll give you the comparison, I’ll share the facts, most of the suggestions presented here cost little to no money. You care about your children and we want you to make decisions with good information”. Another great phrase to use is “Knowledge is power and knowledge about your health is the most powerful knowledge we can give you”.
4) POST-QUIZ: Give everyone five minutes to complete the post-quiz. Tell them they should not put their names on the quiz; it is supposed to be anonymous. Then collect the quizzes. Have your helper grades the post-quizzes giving the number of people that failed and passed.
*A passing grade is 70% or better on our quizzes (at least 7 out of 10 questions right)
5) TAKE QUESTIONS: Now take questions from people in the audience and answer them to the best of your ability. If you do not know the answer to a question, ask the person to write it down and give it to you with their information and tell them you will get back to them. Follow up with us; we will email you back.
6) CONCLUDE: Always tell people how much better the group did on quizzes after your lecture (ie “Only 5 of you passed the quiz before, now 23 of you passed after this seminar we had!” Congratulate them!
Note: Some groups like to build email lists and have everyone write down emails on a sheet before they go
7) FILL-OUT OUR FORM: Please fill out the emailed form we sent you called “AOS Parenting Data Trackers”.
Class 1: Parent Questionnaires (100% Anonymous)
Please hand these 100% anonymous questionnaires out to parents in your weekly class only (not big seminars).
1) What is your greatest challenge as a father, choose all that apply?
a) Money
b) Time (or lack thereof with my child)
c) Relationship with spouse (or ex)
d) Other:________________________
2) What are the top 3 priorities in your life?
a) Family d) House/Apartment
b) Job e) Money
c) Car f) Phone
h) Other:_____________________
3) What is your top goal at Pernet’s Father’s Help group?
a) Satisfy DCS requirements
b) Try to be a better father
c) Learn about rules and legalities of my situation with seeing my children
d) Other:___________________________
4) Rate your understanding of the DCS process in general on a scale 1-10 (10 being highest)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
5) DCF Case Study: A father has lost custody of his children and his ex-wife currently has a restraining order against him (but it does not apply to his children). Who does ho need to FIRST speak to in order to change or attempt to change visiting times when he is allowed to see his children?
a) DCF (Department of Children and Families; formerly DSS)
b) Judge
c) Local police department where issue was ordered
d) ex-wife
6) How well do you rate yourself as a father on 1-10, 10 being the best?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
7) How well would your kids rate you as a dad on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
8) What parenting skill do you want to improve most?
a) My general education (i.e. finish GED or enter college/trade or tech program)
b) Anger management
c) Listening skills
d) Job stability to provide for my family or kids
e) Child discipline
f) Building trust
g) Other:_____________________________________________________
9) If your child (or children) is under 7, can you name their two favorite toys?
Please list below:1)_________________________ 2)__________________________
If your child (or children) is 7 or older, can you name their two best friends OR favorite TV shows?
TV shows: 1)________________________ 2)__________________________________
Best friends (first name only)1)_____________________ 2)_______________________
10) Open answer: what would motivate you to come every week, consistently, to this parenting group for the entire length of its normal program of a couple months? And what would motivate you to recruit to other local fathers or mothers in the area that may benefit? Remember this group is free!!
______________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
11) When’s the last time you saw your kid(s) (1 week ago, 1 month ago, 1 year ago, etc)?
___________________________________________________________________________________
12) Who referred you to this group?
a) DCF
b) Probation
c) Counselor
d) Friend
e) Other:_______________________________________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old
Parents serve as an important role in their child’s daily life. To begin with, they are someone that needs to offer lifelong love and continual focus on their child throughout their life. A common misperception is that the job of parenting is “more important” in any one stage of your child’s life. While some parents find difficulty with kids at different ages, we must remember our role for them is important at any age. Let’s think about it:
As a baby: If the parent ignores or simply does not understand signs and symptoms of different baby illnesses, they may hold off on going to the doctor’s ( this affects your child.
As a child: If parents ignore or simply do not understand how to help a child develop good study habits in school; the child may slowly begins to do worse each year ( this affects your child
As a teenager: If parents ignore or simply do not know how to address the topic of sexuality as boys and girls advance through puberty, it is likely kids rely on information from their friends ( this affects your child
As a young adult: If parents ignore or simply do not understand how to address topics of how a healthy relationship works or how to take charge of one’s future, the young adult may not know how to plan ahead for potential upcoming opportunities ( this affects your child
Clearly, parents serve as a vital role for their child through all stages of life. This particular class focuses on appropriate developmental stages and cues to look for in a child from birth to 10 years old. A lot of material is covered in a generally short period of time, so we will focus on major highlight points. For those who do not have children under 10, please share this information with parents you know who do have children under 10!
AT BIRTH – CARING FOR YOUR BABY: Breastfeeding (Cheaper and healthier than buying formula!)
Breastfeeding is much healthier for babies and it saves the mother money from buying formula. Breast milk is all your baby needs the first 6-12 months of life. Babies must be fed every 3 to 4 hours for the first month or 8-12 times a day. Keep a journal of when a baby is due to feed (record feedings from when you start them). Signs a baby is hungry includes always opening their mouths, showing their tongue, putting their hands to their mouth, and moving the mouth towards your finger if you touch their face. It is important to understand crying is a late sign of hunger. If a baby is sleepy and acts like it does not want to feed, undress it completely and put it up against your body; this will wake it up! If you have an infection in one breast, use the other for feeding. Never microwave infant formula. Never feed your baby while it is lying down; it could aspirate. Excellent video to learn about breastfeeding:
**A baby should have at least 6 - 8 wet diapers a day; if they have less they are not getting enough milk
WOMEN SHOULD NOT BREASTFEED IF THEY HAVE OR USE…..
1) HIV-Positive 2) Use alcohol 3) Hepatitis B (unless the baby has the vaccine) 4) Illegal drugs
5) Tuberculosis (mothers can pump breastmilk into a bottle but need to stay away from the baby)
6) Galactosemia (or other metabolic disorders) 7) Herbs with unknown studies 8) Tobacco / Nicotine
9) Use antidepressants 10) Prescribed drugs with unknown studies or class C, D or X categories
Public Handout Page -
Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old
HOW YOUR BABY WILL SLEEP
Babies must always sleep on their backs. Crib deaths of babies occur usually between 1-5 months because they are sleeping on their stomach or side; this is wrong. Also, there should be no blankets or pillows in a crib.
IF YOUR BABY CHOKES
Hold you infant face down on your forearm and be sure to support its face with your hand. With the other hand, slap down on the middle of its back 5 times and the turn it over and give 5 hard pushes with your index and middle fingers on the chest bone. Repeat 5 slaps on the back and 5 pushes on the chest over and over until the baby coughs and spits out the object. If the baby goes unresponsive and stops moving, begin CPR. Look on the previous page of how to do infant CPR.
SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME (THIS WILL KILL YOUR BABY – READ!)
Sometimes a parent gets very exhausted or upset with a crying baby and they actually shake the baby. This causes internal hemorrhaging in the baby’s head and can kill the baby. If you feel frustrated with the baby’s crying, you must leave the room for awhile or buy earplugs. NEVER SHAKE YOUR BABY. It is a leading cause of accidental death among parent’s mistakes, and while it may be unintentional, it still kills your baby.
SAFETY TIPS AND WARNING SIGNS TO LOOK FOR IN YOUR BABY
*You should never give your baby any medicine unless prescribed by your healthcare practitioner
*Never leave a baby alone in the bathtub; it only takes a couple seconds for a baby to drown - know the facts!
*Make sure bathwater temperature between 37 degrees Celsius (98.6 F)
*If baby keeps screaming or is jittery, it could be infection, hypoglycemia or encephalopathy, go to hospital
*If baby is born diabetic, its blood sugar should never go below 50 mg/dL or above 140 mg/dL
*If baby’s skin turns yellow, starting with the head, take it to the hospital immediately
*Never take a rectal temperature in an infant; you can take it under their armpit; it should be 97-99 F
*If baby has projectile vomit or constantly coughs, chokes on milk and cries bring it to the hospital
*If baby has nasal flaring, wheezes or grunting, change in skin color, take it to hospital immediately
Now we will go through developmental milestones; please note these only reflect the majority of babies at different times, different babies may move at different paces. Consult your healthcare provider if you are concerned. All info of this section is credited to the Center for Disease Controls, 2011 (ncbddd/actearly/index.html).
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 0-2 MONTHS OLD
*Baby will look at parents, smile, make cooing baby sounds, has grasp reflex, tries to push up when on stomach
Warning signs: Does not move head, not put hands to mouth, not smile or hold head elevated when flat on stomach
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Everyone touching the baby must wash their hands soap and water or hand sanitizer
*Always keep foreign objects out of baby’s mouth, and things like pacifiers must be cleaned before used
*If using pacifier affects baby’s breastfeeding consult a lactation specialist
*Wash your baby every 3-4 days using a sponge bath with a gentle cleanser that is baby-friendly and clean creases *Never leave pillows, blankets or things that can smother the baby in the crib and make sure they sleep on their back
*NEVER dilute formulae with water, this is very dangerous and will alter their electrolytes & may cause seizures
Public Handout Page -
Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 2-4 MONTHS OLD
*Baby may copy facial expressions, enjoys being played with by parents, follows toys with eyes, reaches for toys, can support own head, shows clear behavior distinguishing when upset, when on stomach can move with elbows
Warning signs: Does not support own head, not put hands to their mouth, smile, not try to push with feet if touching a floor, has trouble moving eyes in different directions or supporting himself up with arms when on stomach
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Everyone touching the baby must wash their hands soap and water or hand sanitizer
*Always keep foreign objects out of baby’s mouth, and things like pacifiers must be cleaned before used
*Wash your baby every 3-4 days using a sponge bath with a gentle cleanser that is baby-friendly and be sure to clean in-between the creases of their skin, checking for rashes, for sink baths child must be supervised every second
*Never allow anyone to smoke in the same house as baby, leave small objects or carry hot liquids around your baby
*Never leave pillows, blankets or things that can smother the baby in the crib and make sure they sleep on their back
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 6 MONTHS OLD
*Baby may look at self in a mirror, knows strangers from close friends, responds to their name, brings objects to mouth, can pass something from one hand to another, rolls over in either direction, can sit without support, mumbles “ahh” or “ehhh” showing different vowel sounds, can crawl forward, try to move backwards
Warning signs: Does not move roll in different directions, does not reach out to touch things, cannot bring item to mouth, cannot make any vowel sounds, does not have any kind of laughter, has very stiff or floppy muscle movement
Hygiene & Safety for them: Refer to tips for 2-4 month old
*As babies crawl, make sure there are gates up so they never get into rooms they should not or fall down stairs
*As the first tooth appears, begin to brush it with a special brush for babies and a small smear of toothpaste
*Carefully lock up and remove dangerous substances in the room with baby so there is no choking or poisoning
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 12 MONTHS OLD
*Baby cries with strangers or when parents leave, understands peek-a-boo games, cries for attention, understands “bye” or “no”, says “mama” and “dada”, bangs around toys, points to things, may start to use sippy cup, can put things in containers, may stand, walk with help
Warning signs: Does not try to stand, does not say “mama” or “dada”, cannot wave or move around head, cannot stand with your support
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Refer to tips for 2-4 month old and begin to wash children daily
*As a toddler starts with solid food, make sure food is soft and in small bites and small objects that can fit in their mouth are always out of reach
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 18 MONTHS OLD
*Toddler shows anger, fear, sadness, passes around toys to you, can say “no” and point to what they want, can follow simple 1 step commands like “sit down”, helps get dressed, uses spoon and cup, should be able to walk alone
Warning signs: Does not walk, does not say at least 6 different words, does not copy actions of others, does not care when parents leave, never points to things
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Refer to all earlier tips for babies
Public Handout Page -
Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 2 YEARS OLD
*Toddler begins to chase others around, shows defiant behavior, more independence “I do it myself!”, sentences of 2-4 words, knows basic body parts (arm, leg, head), understands colors and shapes, does tower of at least 4 building blocks, knows basic animals (cats, dogs, etc), can kick & throw a ball, walks stairs with assistance, draws shapes
Warning signs: Does not use 2-3 word phrases, does not follow basic instructions or copy basic actions, cannot hold brush, fork, etc., regresses losing skills they earlier had in past months
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Refer to all earlier tips for babies
*As they begin to potty train, be sure to emphasize importance of washing their hands before and after
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 3 YEARS OLD
*Toddler understand sharing concept, makes friends, displays an array of emotions, can separate from parents without being hysterical, dresses self, can perform 2-3 step instructions, knows their age and says names, uses 3 word sentences in talk, turns door handles, plays make-believe with imagination, can climb things and use a tricycle
Warning signs: Does not use stairs, no 3-word phrases, does not play make-believe, has unclear speech or drools, does not want to play with toys or children
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Refer to all earlier tips for babies
*As they begin to potty train, be sure to emphasize importance of washing their hands before and after
*Teach them about the concept of strangers and stay with them always outdoors
*As they bathe themselves, never leave them alone in the tub
*Monitor them as they begin to brush their own teeth; use only a pea-sized amount of fluoride toothpaste
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 4 YEARS OLD
*Toddler plays mom or dad, cooperates with children, speaks about what they are interested in, can sing songs and poems, knows first and last name, tells stories, can do some colors and numbers, can reference time like morning and night, can use scissors (with supervision!) and play boardgames, catches balls, balance on one foot, hop around
Warning signs: Does not use basic words like “me” or “you” correctly, cannot follow 3 step instructions, cannot retell stories, can’t jump in place, has not interest in kids or refuses to learn potty-training
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Refer to all earlier tips for babies/toddlers
*As they begin to potty train, be sure to emphasize importance of washing their hands before and after
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 5 YEARS OLD
*Child likes to sing, play and dance, enjoys company of friends, understands rules of games, understands different genders, knows what is real and make-believe, can speak in full sentences and clearly, knows address, easily counts to 10 or more, can draw triangles, understands concept of basic things like money and food, easily uses fork and spoon, independent in using toilet, swings on things
Warning signs: Does not understand difference of real and make-believe, withdrawn, cannot focus on a single activity more than 5 minutes, does not know first and last name, cannot understand past/future tense, cannot brush teeth, draw pictures or dress themselves
Hygiene & Safety for them: *Do not leave child alone in bathtub
*Do not leave child alone in street to play with friends
*Monitor things like computer or TV or books read
Public Handout Page -
USA VACCINATION CHART FOR KIDS (UPDATED TO 2012 AND BEYOND GUIDELINES)
Birth – Hepatitis B vaccine (shot #1)
2 months – Hepatitis B vaccine (shot #2)
DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine (shot #1)
Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b vaccine (shot #1)
IPV: Inactivated poliovirus vaccine (shot #1)
PCV: Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (shot #1)
Rota: Rotavirus vaccine (shot #1)
4 months – DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine (shot #2)
Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b vaccine (shot #2)
IPV: Inactivated poliovirus vaccine (shot #2)
PCV: Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (shot #2)
Rota: Rotavirus vaccine (shot #2)
6 months – DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine (shot #3)
Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b vaccine (shot #3)
IPV: Inactivated poliovirus vaccine (shot #3)
PCV: Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (shot #3)
Rota: Rotavirus vaccine (shot #3)
Hepatitis B vaccine (shot #3)
Flu Vaccine (begins at 6 months and done every year now)
12 months – Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b vaccine (shot #4)
MMR: Measles, mumps, and rubella (German measles) vaccine (shot #1)
PCV: Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (shot #4)
Varicella (chickenpox) vaccine (shot #1)
Hepatitis A vaccine (shot #1)
18 months – Hepatitis A vaccine (shot #2)
DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine (shot #4)
4 years old – DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine (shot #5)
MMR: Measles, mumps, and rubella (German measles) vaccine (shot #2)
IPV: Inactivated poliovirus vaccine (shot #4)
Varicella (chickenpox) vaccine (one time if a child gets it under 13 years old)
*Varicella vaccine for kids over 13 who NEVER got it are 2 shots given 8 weeks apart
11 years old – HPV: Human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine for girls and boys (3 shots given over 6 months)
MCV: Meningitis vaccine (shot #1)
Tdap: Tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis (booster shots given every 10 years)
*Tdap is DIFFERENT from DTaP, talk to your provider if your child should have it
*Also, ask your doctor if your daughter has had her HPV vaccine, it is given up to age 26
16 years old – MCV: Meningitis vaccine (booster shot, should be required for kids in colleges)
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old, Hand out beginning of class
1. How should the car seat for a baby be positioned?
A) In the back seat, to one side facing backwards
B) In the front seat facing backwards
C) In the back seat, in the middle, facing backwards
D) None of the above
2. Which statement is FALSE?
A) Babies must always sleep on their back.
B) Never leave a baby alone for more than 30 seconds in the bathtub
C) If a baby has nasal flaring, wheezes or grunting, change in skin color, they must see the doctor
D) If a baby is jittery with high-pitched crying, they must see the doctor immediately
3. An alarming sign for a 2-4 month old baby is…
A) They do not reach their hands to their mouth ever
B) They cannot scribble
C) They cannot say “mama”
D) They cannot stand
4. A good tip for parents who smoke or have friends who smoke is
A) You must quit for your baby to be able to be healthy and develop normally
B) Never allow anyone to smoke near the baby, not even in the same house
C) Smoke on the other side of the room at least 10 feet away
D) You can only smoke near the baby once a day
5. What is a development expectation of a 6 month old?
A) Can stand and walk with ease
B) Can speak in 2 word sentences
C) Can open eyes wide
D) Can pass something from one hand to another and begin to sit without support
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PRE-QUIZ Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old, Hand out beginning of class
6. What is NOT an expectation of a 1 year old?
A) Says “mama” and “dada”,
B) Bangs around toys
C) Can draw a basic triangle
D) May stand, walk with help
7. For your 2 year old child…
A) They may shows defiant behavior, more independence saying things like “I do it myself!”
B) They can use a knife to eat
C) They start to understand time
D) They are now just learning to walk and stand and support their own weight without help
8. If your 4 year old cannot ______, then they may have a developmental delay!
A) Follow 3 step instructions
B) Follow 5 step instructions
C) Type fast on the computer
D) None of the above
9. Which 5 year old child are you developmentally concerned about?
A) A 5 year old who does not know their first and last name
B) A 5 year old who cannot run a mile
C) A 5 year old who does not like to play alone
D) A 5 year old that understands the differences between genders
10. By what age do we expect a child to turn door handles? (important to know for locking doors!)
A) 5 years old
B) 3 years old
C) 18 month old that is now standing and walking
D) None of the above
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POST-QUIZ Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old, Hand out at end of class
1. How should the car seat for a baby be positioned?
A) In the back seat, to one side facing backwards
B) In the front seat facing backwards
C) In the back seat, in the middle, facing backwards
D) None of the above
2. Which statement is FALSE?
A) Babies must always sleep on their back.
B) Never leave a baby alone for more than 30 seconds in the bathtub
C) If a baby has nasal flaring, wheezes or grunting, change in skin color, they must see the doctor
D) If a baby is jittery with high-pitched crying, they must see the doctor immediately
3. An alarming sign for a 2-4 month old baby is…
A) They do not reach their hands to their mouth ever
B) They cannot scribble
C) They cannot say “mama”
D) They cannot stand
4. A good tip for parents who smoke or have friends who smoke is
A) You must quit for your baby to be able to be healthy and develop normally
B) Never allow anyone to smoke near the baby, not even in the same house
C) Smoke on the other side of the room at least 10 feet away
D) You can only smoke near the baby once a day
5. What is a development expectation of a 6 month old?
A) Can stand and walk with ease
B) Can speak in 2 word sentences
C) Can open eyes wide
D) Can pass something from one hand to another and begin to sit without support
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old, Hand out at end of class
6. What is NOT an expectation of a 1 year old?
A) Says “mama” and “dada”,
B) Bangs around toys
C) Can draw a basic triangle
D) May stand, walk with help
7. For your 2 year old child…
A) They may shows defiant behavior, more independence saying things like “I do it myself!”
B) They can use a knife to eat
C) They start to understand time
D) They are now just learning to walk and stand and support their own weight without help
8. If your 4 year old cannot ______, then they may have a developmental delay!
A) Follow 3 step instructions
B) Follow 5 step instructions
C) Type fast on the computer
D) None of the above
9. Which 5 year old child are you developmentally concerned about?
A) A 5 year old who does not know their first and last name
B) A 5 year old who cannot run a mile
C) A 5 year old who does not like to play alone
D) A 5 year old that understands the differences between genders
10. By what age do we expect a child to turn door handles? (important to know for locking doors!)
A) 5 years old
B) 3 years old
C) 18 month old that is now standing and walking
D) None of the above
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QUIZ ANSWERS - Class 1: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 0-5 years old
1. How should the car seat for a baby be positioned?
ANSWER – C
2. Which statement is FALSE?
ANSWER – B
3. An alarming sign for a 2-4 month old baby is…
ANSWER – A
4. A good tip for parents who smoke or have friends who smoke is
ANSWER – B
5. What is a development expectation of a 6 month old?
ANSWER – D
6. What is NOT an expectation of a 1 year old?
ANSWER – C
7. For your 2 year old child…
ANSWER – A
8. If your 4 year old cannot ______, then they may have a developmental delay!
ANSWER – A
9. Which 5 year old child are you developmentally concerned about?
ANSWER - A
10. By what age do we expect a child to turn door handles? (important to know for locking doors!)
ANSWER – B
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
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SUBSTANCE-LESS MEDICINE (TO HANDOUT AT EVERY SEMINAR / CLASS)
Army of Saints reflects upon medicine in a worldly, historical and holistic sense, understanding the most power medicine in the body for the longevity of life is in fact substance-less medicine. We are preconditioned in this world to believe that we need a pill, plant or some special drink to fix our health problems. Indeed, there is a time to use strong antibiotics when people have dangerous infections or to administer vaccines to prevent people from getting certain diseases. This is commonsense. However, we teach these modalities of “substance-less medicine” for a few very important reasons.
1) This medicine is time-proven beginning with roots from Asia that predate most medicinal systems existing today in the world, coming from civilizations that are much older than the rest of the world. They may seem odd to you, but in fact your “normal medicine” would seem odd to them.
2) This medicine offers each individual the ability to command their own health and prevent and actively treat a number of diseases, sometimes more effective than current conventional treatments.
3) This medicine is used alone by some practitioners to treat diseases, but it can always be safely combined with any other therapy because it is substance-less so there is no chance of chemical reaction.
4) This medicine is 100% free and needs to equipment so anyone can access it in the world at anytime.
**Note: All practice and instructions here are done at your own risk; if you are unsure of what is a safe practice for you, you should always consult your healthcare provider.
PRANAYAMA
Increasing oxygenation of the body’s tissues is vital. This Indian breathwork practice presented will increase oxygen supply to the brain and takes twenty minutes a day to do properly. It consists of different breathing patterns and manipulates the normal, rhythmic control of the autonomic nervous breathing patterns with either short and fast, or long and forceful breaths.
First exercise: It is sometimes referred to as the “breath of fire” whereby you sit Indian style with legs crossed on the floor. If this is a problem, you may stand. Breathe rapidly and very forcefully in and out of the nose for one minute. Then take a minute’s rest. Repeat this for 10 minutes every morning.
Second exercise: Start with the left ring finger holding the same-side left nostril and the tongue touching roof of the mouth and eyes closed. Begin with slow inhalation through other nostril, then hold breath 5 seconds, then slowly exhale through the nostril. Now repeat with the next slow inhalation and hold again for 5 seconds. After three breaths of inhalation and exhalation of one nostril, switch to the other for 3 sets of breaths again.
TAI CHI
Tai Chi is an ancient art that involves moving energy throughout the body during slow martial arts techniques. Many people do not practice it for the martial arts application, however, and are more interested in the medicinal health benefits. Our advice is to find a Tai Chi location close to you and take advantage of the powerful art, practicing every day for 20-30 minutes will begin to yield results.
YOGA
Yoga is also an art that is not merely “stretching”. Yogi practitioners spent centuries identifying different positions and correlating different postures held to treating different diseases and disorders. Similar to Tai Chi, it is especially difficult to find very knowledgeable, experienced practitioners in different parts of the world since many teaching schools have “watered down” true style and technique. See what is available in your local area.
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SUBSTANCE-LESS MEDICINE (TO HANDOUT AT EVERY SEMINAR / CLASS)
CHI GUNG
Chi Gung (also called Qi Gong) is the major practice of energy cultivation in Chinese medicine and is absolutely necessary for all patients with neurodegenerative diseases. Restoring and increasing one’s energy requires a standing meditation-type practice. One popular form, Yi Chuan, is excellent for beginners as it is simple and requires little to no effort. For patients already in wheelchairs, a separate modified version in the sitting position will also be described. Patients should make the effort to find qualified Qi Gong teachers to monitor their practice.
Simply stand should width apart with the arms by the sides of the body, relaxing. Most people prefer to close their eyes. The tongue must be touching the roof palate of your mouth gently (so you should not be able to talk out loud while doing this). Let there be space between your arms and the side of your body and let there be space between each finger like marbles wedged between each. Slightly bend the knees a little. Breathe in and out of the nose only. Breathe slowly and regularly. This allows energy cultivation to begin. Look forward, parallel to the ground. Relax the shoulders.
***If you are in a wheelchair, or only able to sit, practice the same way as described but place your hands on your legs just above the knee joint. Leave some space between the arms and the body.
Important Points in Practicing Chi Gung:
These are unknown energy training tips for Chi Gung and Tai Chi that often are forgotten or overlooked when people begin taking up the practice. They should be followed.
1) Practice at least 20 minutes a day. It is not worth it and will have no medicinal effects if less than 20.
2) Do not practice in front of fans or air conditioners (coldness) or if you have a fever (heat).
3) Do not practice if you just ate and likewise try to leave an hour after before you eat.
4) Try not to shower for at least 4 hours after you practice, it will give you best results if you wait.
5) Do not have sex for 7 hours after you practice.
***Above all, do not feel uncomfortable practicing what feels like a “weird” or “unusual” standing meditation; remember what it normal to you is only because of what part of the world you know
EXERCISE
Exercise is perhaps the most overlooked medicine on the planet. Sadly, it is no longer viewed in medicine as “medicine” but a preventative thing people can do to stay healthy. This is false. Exercise absolutely speeds up most healing processes, when indicated. We strongly recommend all people, young and old, participate in some form of cardiovascular exercise 20-30 minutes a day, everyday. Always check with your healthcare provider to see what exercises may be integrated into your life if you have medical conditions. Even walking, jogging, dancing, pushups and sit-ups help the body greatly and it does not cost anything nor require any special equipment. If you make it part of a child’s life now they will likely incorporate it in the long run.
FASTING
Everyone who can be medically cleared to do so should fast once a week for 24 hours on water to let the body rest. Fasting is a very important part of healing terminal illness and gives the body time away from digestion. Terminally ill patients (i.e. cancer) have fasted up to 7 days on water when monitored by a professional and medically cleared. In Eastern medicine we understand the body is its greatest aid in fighting off disease.
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PAYING FOR YOUR HEALTH (YOUR TIME, MONEY AND THE FIGHT INSIDE YOU)
THE TIME
Often, we put our own family’s livelihood before our own, but to be strong for our family and friends, we have to be intelligent and take some time to care for ourselves too. Think of the example of an emergency on a plane where the oxygen level drops and the oxygen mask signs light up. What is your first reaction? If you have children, it is likely you will want to put their oxygen masks on first. Likewise, if you have little brothers or sisters you may think the same. However, this is not the intelligent action. If you spend too much time helping others with their masks, you yourself quickly run out of air and if you pass out, you are no good to your children or anyone else. Taking just a few seconds to put your own mask on first will not only keep you alive, but will let you help keep your family alive!
Healthcare is the same way. It sounds endearing to hear a family member say, “I spend so much time taking care of everyone else, I just never have time to take care of myself”, but this is not wise. Surely, you must take time to have good control of your own health to live a strong, healthy, happy life. And by doing this, you will certainly do a much better job taking care of your family. An excellent example of this may be carried out through Gandhi, Mother Teresa or Martin Luther King, Jr. All three were known to allow for different times in their day for some kind of quiet form of meditation. Can you imagine if someone said, “They were such selfish people to take an hour a day just for themselves!” We must be wise enough to understand that because they took this precious time for themselves, they were able to do amazing things for humanity. So read through our “Substance-less Medicine” sheet and please take at least an hour a day for exercise and meditation, 30 minutes each; include your family in it if you want!
THE MONEY
It is a scary feeling to think you cannot pay for healthcare. Here we have included some important links for understanding new healthcare reform processes and how to pay for it. But one very strong piece of advice we offer you is to please consider taking out the things in your life we know will eventually cause problems. This includes smoking and excess alcohol. We know diets high in sugar, fatty foods, fried foods and trans fats leads to heart problems, cancer and diabetes. If you let your kids eat these foods, eventually they too will likely get either cancer, diabetes or heart problems. Of course you love your children and do not want this and you control what you buy at the grocery stores, you have the influence. The Nutrition Chart of Champions handout provides the most well-balanced diet you could possibly have and okay for diabetics too. Fruits and vegetables can be expensive, but beans, soy, lentils, and whole grains like brown rice are actually much cheaper than most foods and you can buy them in bulk for your families.
Youtube link easily explaining new healthcare:
Government Info: nlm.medlineplus/financialassistance.html
For single mothers: healthcare/
THE ARMY OF SAINTS HEALTH CHALLENGE
Take one unhealthy thing you love, and quit it for 2 weeks. Take the money you would have saved and buy something healthy like a favorite tea or fruit. For people considering Eastern medicine listed in our treatment plans, but wonder how they will pay for herbs or supplements, one very good idea is to simultaneously quit any unhealthy expensive practices (quitting junk food, drinking, smoking or soda) - these habits add up!
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NATURAL CURES AND REMEDIES FOR MANY PROBLEMS OR DISEASES
Natural cures for many problems, if you cannot find all ingredients listed, do as much as possible.
**Things to always have in your house as medicine: Honey, red pepper, garlic, cinnamon powder, tablespoon, teaspoon, organic apple cider vinegar (NOT vinegar, this is something different)
Arthritis – Take one tablespoon of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder with warm water every morning
Flu – You should always get the flu vaccine every year UNLESS you are allergic to eggs! If you have the flu, you can do this:
1) Special recipe to cure flu: Make 2 servings of beans and rice. Them add 4 cloves of garlic and 2 pieces of ginger (the size of your thumb), 2 radishes, 1 raw onion and some vinegar. Add oregano and chives and if you like spicy food, add hot peppers. Eat this for lunch and dinner, you should be cured in 3 days.
2) Take a multivitamin and drink orange juice.
3) Boil soybeans in water and a handful of parsley and add onions; eat as a soup.
Anemia – 1) Eat 1 serving of soybeans or brown beans every night with leafy green vegetables. For dessert every night eat strawberries or cherries. AVOID tomatoes, spinach, coffee, soda and chocolate, this will decrease the iron in your body.
2)Take iron supplements with Vitamin C but nothing else, it must be on an empty stomach.
Asthma – Take 5,000 milligrams of fish oil 2 times a day. Take magnesium in capsule form 250 milligrams 3 times day. Eat one serving of either papaya, oranges or steamed broccoli everyday. Eat soybeans covered with chopped tomatoes and chopped radishes everyday. Take organic apple cider vinegar (2 tablespoons for adults, 1 tablespoon for kids under 12 years old) dissolved in an 8 ounce cup of water; drink twice a day, morning and night. For severe asthmatics consider also buying Quercitin 1,000 mg 3 times daily and Cordyceps (a mushroom) 800 mg twice daily. AVOID DAIRY AND HIGH SUGAR FOODS. Follow AOS Nutrition Chart of Champions.
To Stop Smoking – Chop up a radish and mix with 2 teaspoons of honey. Swallow this every morning and night to eliminate craving. Also take Vitamin B3 supplement as directed each day.
To Stop Drinking Alcohol (famous cure for alcoholics) – 1) Eat black soybeans every night
2) Put 1 cup of sugar in 2 tablespoons of rice vinegar, and a little hot water and drink every morning
3) Drink American ginseng tea or Western ginseng tea 3 times a day
Acne - To keep skin clean and clear, drink 2 tablespoons organic apple cider vinegar dissolved in a glass of water every morning and night. Take 5,000 milligrams (or 5 grams) of fish oil every morning and every night. Take 50 milligrams of Zinc twice a day. You can also apply Tea Tree Oil to your pimples.
Menstrual Pain – 1) Boil a handful of fresh parsley into 3 cups of water, boil until the water halfway and add and an egg. Add your favorite spices and eat this.
2) Drink black cohosh or ginger tea 5 times a day.
3) Boil some dried ginger and brown sugar in water a couple minutes, then eat.
4) Take 2 teaspoons of cinnamon an mix it into milk or soymilk; this works very well.
Colds (including colds in children) – Take a cup of warm water and mix it with one tablespoon honey and ½ teaspoon of cinnamon powder. Drink twice a day. For dinner do this: Make 2 servings of beans and rice. Them add 4 cloves of garlic and 2 pieces of ginger (the size of your thumb), 2 radishes,1 raw onion and add some vinegar. Add oregano and chives and if you like spicy food, add hot peppers. Eat this for lunch and dinner.
Stomachache (including colds in children) – Take a cup of warm water and mix it with one tablespoon honey and ½ teaspoon of cinnamon powder. Drink twice a day.
Erectile Dysfunction – Eat mussels cooked in rice wine and eat 4-5 servings of raspberries each day.
Cough – Take black pepper grinded and sprinkle it over a spoonful of honey; do this every hour for one day.
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Tuberculosis – This is a deadly and highly contagious disease that can kill people, you must go to the hospital! The following is done ONLY IF you do not have access to tuberculosis medicine or medical facilities:
Boil 30-40 garlic gloves in a glass of milk, until it boils to a syrup. Administer this 2 times a day. Eat 1-2 entire pineapples a day or drink large quantities of pineapple juice. Talk to your doctor about adding this to TB meds.
Hair loss – Make a paste with 1 tablespoon of honey, 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon powder and apply it as a paste for 20 minutes a day to the scalp
Urinary Tract Infections – The first day you have it dissolve 1 teaspoon of sea salt in a glass of water. Everyday drink 6 glasses of unsweetened cranberry juice OR 6 helpings of cranberries; eat 2 oranges; and take Olive leaf extract, Uva Ursi or Goldenseal Root if you can find these products.
Stomach Ulcers – Stop using any caffeine (coffee) and alcohol. Eat 1 head of cabbage a day. Use 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper in warm water 3 times a day. Also, 3 times a day drink a cup of water mixed with 2 tablespoons of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar with ¼ teaspoon of baking soda.
Diarrhea – Eat bananas, rice, apples and toasted bread. Drink the juice of radishes. Eat ginger, 2 pieces the size of your thumb OR drink 4 cups of ginger tea. Use oregano herbs seasoned on soybeans.
Burns – Cut a piece of fresh ginger, squeeze out all juice, and soak the juice on a napkin. Rub the juice on over the burn. Also apply fresh aloe juice to burns.
Insomnia (Trouble sleeping) – Crush an onion and inhale it for 15 minutes.
Constipation – Boil sweet potatoes in boil and mix 3 tablespoons of honey eat. Also, drink aloe vera juice and grapefruit juice every day. Eat prunes and figs every morning for breakfast. Take 3 spoonfuls of fish oil or flaxseed oil everyday. Take psyllium husks every day with water as directed on the container.
Fungus Infection & Skin Infections – Apply vinegar to the area 3 times a day for 10 minutes.
High Cholesterol – Eat 4-6 cloves of garlic everyday. Only cook with coconut oil. Avoid smoking, cheese, milk and fried or fatty foods. Eat the yellow part of egg yolk BUT NOT THE WHITE. Eat a serving of soybeans or baked fish everyday (never fried fish). Also, take 3 teaspoons of cinnamon powder mixed with 2 tablespoons of honey; mix these into water or juice and drink every morning. You can continue all of this advice long term, it is safe and will keep you healthy.
Infertility- If you have had unprotected sex for one year and still cannot get pregnant, you are infertile. Women should take the herb Chasteberry and take 240 milligrams every morning. Men should take the herb Panax Ginseng 300 milligrams daily (with at least 4% ginsenocides). Take a multivitamin with all the vitamins and minerals. ***Both men and women trying to conceive should raise the alkalinity in their body. Every morning and night, before you eat, take a lemon or a lime and squeeze all of it into a glass, then fill the glass half way with water then add a little baking soda until you see no more fizzing. Drink this, eventually you may be able to conceive.
Headaches – First try acupressure. Take one thumb and put it between your eyes above your nose and your other thumb on the back of your head in the center, press these areas simultaneously for 20 seconds and slowly release. Do this for 2 minutes. The next 2 minutes massage the area of skin between your thumb and index finger on your hand, use the fingers of your other hand to massage it.
More for headaches: Take Magnesium 200 milligrams 3 times a day. You can also try dissolving 1 tablespoon of organic apple cider vinegar in 4 ounces of water; drink this twice a day, continuously.
For chronic severe headaches: Go to the hospital to make sure it is not more serious. If you are diagnosed as migraines; try this combination of herbs: Feverfew 500 micrograms once a day; 5-hydroxytryptophan 100 milligrams 3 times a day, and Fish Oil 5,000 milligrams 2 times a day.
Indigestion (Heartburn) – Before eating to prevent indigestion, take 2 tablespoons of honey with cinnamon powder sprinkled on the honey. Take this before every meal.
Public Handout Page -
Army of Saints Nutrition Chart of Champions
Our group works to end drugs and violence in our communities. EMAIL US: armyofsaints@
Shop cheap and be sure to buy things in bulk!
**Drink ten 8 oz waters per day and take a multivitamin and calcium supplements (multivitamin with iron for women)
| Vegetables 25% | Fruit, Nuts and Seeds 25% |
| | |
|*In Include 3-5 servings, special ones: broccoli, celery, |*FR FRUIT: Include 2-3 servings, special ones: bananas, pears, |
|cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, radishes, |apples,watermelon, pineapple, grapes, raisins, blueberries, cherries, |
|ginger, peppers, kale, spinach, shitake mushrooms |oranges, calcium-fortified orange juice |
| |Why: If you have a sweet tooth, give up on junk food and fast food, |
|Why: Antioxidants and fiber prevents free radicals in the body, |it will eventually kill you! Live longer using fruit as a |
|offers cancer and infection prevention- If you’re sick you can’t |substitute. Olympic athletes know to switch in fruit for dessert! Add peanut |
|do wh train so you need to so eat like the best!! | |
|[pic] [pic] |* NUTS & SEEDS: Include 2-3 servings, special ones: |
| |Fl flax, sesame seeds, almonds, walnuts, pecans, cedar nuts |
| |Why: Excellent protein, minerals & healthy fats you need |
| |[pic][pic] |
| Whole Grains 25% | Beans, Lentils, Yogurt and Soy Milk 25% |
| | |
|Include 4-6 servings, special ones: Brown rice, potatoes, |Include 4-6 servings, special ones: Calcium-fortified soy milk, |
|whole grain pasta, barley, oats, wheat bread |hummus, red kidney beans, chick peas, navy beans, black beans, |
|If If you have Celiac: Choose to eat millet, oats, peas, |split pea beans, yellow mung beans, green lentils, yogurt |
|maize, potatoes, brown rice | |
|Whole grains are your power-packed carbs that let you |Why: These are the secret proteins no one talks about. Many great |
|stay energized for training or working all day. |fighters and warriors lived off these same foods... |
|[pic] |A Also these foods are vital for body builders |
| |LEARN HOW TO PACK YOUR PUNCHES & KICKS!!! |
| |[pic] [pic] |
SUPER ALKALINE FOODS: All Beans, Seeds and Lentils, Alfalfa, Beets, Broccoli, Cabbage, Carrots, Cucumbers, Celery, Peach, Cauliflower, Chlorella, Garlic, Green Beans, Sweet Potatoes, Wheat Grass, Maitake/Shitake, Almonds, Tofu, Cinnamon, Ginger, Banana, Avocado, Honeydew Melon, Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Chili Pepper, Curry, Onions, Tomato, Apple, Grapes, Pair
Why Alkaline diets? While not scientifically proven, we find people at their healthiest when they consume these foods.
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Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old
Parenting children age 6 and over requires incredible dedication. Your child is no longer a toddler relying on you but now an independent child who will begin grade school if they have not yet already. There are far too many topics and circumstances to be covered here but this does serve as a great background and refresher for kids. The information we site for facts is public-accessible to anyone and should be adhered to. The following information listed is credited to the National Institutes of Health (), with the exception of any natural remedies listed. These are merely informational suggestions and should not be construed as medical advice.
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES 6-12 YEARS OLD
Language skills
*Kids 6-12 years old are officially called “school-age children” in the world of healthcare
*Secondary sexual traits of girls include breast development followed by underarm and growth of pubic hair
*Secondary sexual traits for boys include growth of underarm, pubic and chest hair, also testicle and penis growth
*Excessive temper tantrums and outbursts may be a sign of frustration if a child has a developmental delay
*By age 10, kids can usually follow a 5-part chain of steps or instructions
Behavior
*Kids now understand their bodies more so they know if they have stomach aches and may complain more of these things; careful attention should be paid to repeated complaints of pain that may be due to something serious
*From under 9 years old, roughly, it is normal for boys and girls to think the opposite genders are “gross”
*A 9 year old should be able to focus on a single task for up to 60 minutes
*Monitor kids for how their behaviors can be easily influenced by poor behavior of friends
*Monitor their progress in school work and evaluate problems of low self-esteem; if they are struggling, help them
Safety
*Recognize it is during these years kids will do potentially dangerous things (i.e. skateboard stunts) for approval; this is an important time to drive home the message that they do not need to change who they are for other people
*Drowning is of increased risk for kids that have friends who swim or swim themselves, always supervise!
*Household rules should be continually reinforced, especially with lighters, poisonous substances and stoves
*Continue to make sure they wear seatbelts in your car and in friend’s cars (even if told not to)
*Playing independently in parks or playgrounds is at the judgment of parents; if the area is violent or busy with cars and main roads, use good judgment and supervise them or have an older sibling supervise them
Health
*It is good practice to help them find a sport or physical activity like running at this age, if they develop strong exercise habits now it is more likely to follow them throughout their life with less risk of obesity
*Monitor general speech patterns and progress and in schools to identify any developmental delays
*Be open to questions about opposite sex and do not create an atmosphere that suggests it is inappropriate for your child to talk to you about hormonal changes they may be going through
Parenting Hints
*Your child should not fear punishment all the time, otherwise they will not tell you things
*Having said that, your child should not feel as though they control the situation and rules… you are the parent
*Do not expect children to be too social; it is important they have some quiet time alone or with the family
*While TV viewing is controversial in many families, the NIH recommends no more than 2 hours a day
*School age kids can be expected to help with the cleanup of the house and chores like helping do the dishes
Public Handout Page -
Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old
PUBERTY FOR KIDS & TEENS 10-15
It is very important to be comfortable talking to your child about this. There is a general disconnect between children and their parents in talking about these subjects and this leads to a very dangerous cycle of “friends teaching friends” in schools where none of them have any real factual information and are hearing things second-hand from non-scientific non-medical sources. This is not the kind of false information we want teenagers and young adults walking around with. We must destroy the myths. So let’s start with the facts:
Puberty Among Young Men
*Boys start puberty slightly later than girls, beginning around 12-13 and they usually finish by 16 years old
*Teach boys that nocturnal emissions (aka wet dreams) are normal and happen somewhere between 13-17 years old
*Boys will first have testicular enlargement and soon after pubic hair; the voice reaches its pitch by 17 years old
Puberty Among Women and the Menstrual Cycle
This occurs once a month in women who are fertile and last until menopause later in life. A menstrual cycle is defined as a girl’s first day of her period to the first day of her next period. Many young girls become old enough to biologically have children by the time they are 10 to 14 years old. It often starts 2 years after breast development. Normally during this time young girls begin to have the growth of pubic hair too. A menstrual phase has 4 to 6 days of bleeding. A girl may have symptoms of bloating, nausea, cramps and breast tenderness 7-10 days before her period starts. She will continue to menstruate once a month until menopause. Also note many girls have a huge growth spurt in height between ages 10-14, peaking around age 12.
Birth Control – The Facts
Birth control (BC) is referred to as “the pill”, but only condoms can prevent sexually-transmitted diseases. Girls should ALWAYS have a boy wear a condom. Girls can safely take the pill if they are 16 years or over. They should not be on it if their family has a history of coronary artery disease, peripheral artery disease or breast cancer. BC takes at least 7 days to be effective; read the directions. Some antibiotics decrease the efficacy of birth control. Every parent should know if their daughter is using birth control.
During a Normal Menstrual Cycle
*The actual cycle can be as short as every 21 days or as long as every 40 days. A girl will use a sanitary pad or tampon to control the blood coming from the vagina. A pad goes underneath the underwear to soak up the blood, a tampon is a device inserted into the vagina to soak up the blood.
*A girl should change her pad usually about 3 to 6 times a day. For use of a tampon, there are very important things to know. Change tampons every 4 to 8 hours and use the tampon with the lowest absorbency needed.
*It is normal for a girl to have cramps, tender breasts and possible mood changes, but severe cramps and severe pain is not normal.
*For women who are extremely active in sports, it is normal to sometimes skip their menstrual cycles.
*In the beginning (10-14 years old) it is normal for a girl’s menstrual cycle to not be consistent and it may be 21 days one month and 30 days in the next. This is NORMAL for her young age at this time!
Helping with the Symptoms of Menstruation (used under supervision of licensed practitioner)
*Supplements (take as directed): black cohosh tea, vitamin B6, magnesium, calcium, dong quai, Chamomile tea
Public Handout Page -
Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old
Warning Signs to Look For During a Female’s Menstrual Cycle or In General
*Rash, dizziness, fainting, sudden high fever, redness of eyes or mouth, altered mental status
The may be toxic shock syndrome, caused by a tampon left too long inside the vagina.
*Bleeding lasts longer than 7 days OR having to change a pad every 1-2 hours (this is too much)
*Having to change the pad every one or two hours (this means the bleeding is too fast)
*If the menstrual cycle is consistently less than 21 days or longer than 40 days apart
*Severe pain or severe cramps may be sign of an ectopic pregnancy is sexually active girls, a true emergency!
*If a girl is 15 and still has not had her first period, it is time to see a doctor about this
If any of these signs are seen above, she must see a healthcare provider immediately!
Things to Consider for Boys and Girls Daily Health
*Bed wetting can occur up to age 5 in girls and 7 in boys and typically subsides on its own
*Exercise should be made a daily part of a child’s life by 6 years old (age appropriate like soccer)
*Girls with precocious puberty (under age 10) should be guided to wear appropriate clothing
*Stranger safety must be reiterated from preschool age through high school; abduction can happen to all
*Always monitor good oral hygiene, brushing teeth after every meal to prevent cavities
*Signs of sexual abuse: Failing grades, trouble walking or sitting, STD under age 14, seductive behavior
*Signs of physical abuse: Unusual injuries (spiral bone breaks), flinches when approached, belt marks
*Signs of neglect/emotional abuse: Ill-fitting clothes, tardiness, poor hygiene, frequently unsupervised
*Always educate kids on sex questions the issue of safe sex – know when they are sexually active! Your religion or culture should NOT be a substitute to NOT talk about sex! We are the protectors of our children and if you get to a point where your teen openly states they want a relationship this is the time to explain what your views are on pre-marital sex. More importantly, if they are older and you know they are determined to do it, teach them to always use a condom and birth control! When teens hide this from very strict parents, this is how accidents happen!
There is NO SHAME in having a teen that wants to be sexually active as they grow older, it is healthy and normal; what IS shameful is when parents refuse to have this conversation with their children…you will do better than this!
DEVELOPMENT FOR TEENS (13-18)
Behavior
*Remember these teens are VERY self-conscious about body image and reputation to peers and friends
*Teens will want a separate identity private from parents; keep the line of communication very open with your child
*Gang rituals & recruiting can happen by age 13; be weary for kids usually hand symbols or certain colored clothes
*Romantic relationships are normal to blossom around age 14 an older and parental guidance is needed
*If a child is cut off strictly from the opposite sex throughout teenage years, they may rebel later on or not understand basic intimacies of a relationship; there is a very fine balance to be used here
*Teens have the mindset of “invincibility” and think car crashes or STDs could never happen to them
*Teens constantly feel like (or are) being watched by peers and they may scrutinize over each little situation
Safety
*Make sure proper equipment is used for sports, be aware of medical conditions that may put your child at risk
*Drug and alcohol precautions must be taken, parents should never serve alcohol to minors at parties
*Depression and suicide attempts are becoming more prevalent with the internet and bullying from other teens
*Regardless of what youth say, they do want limits and some rules, but still room to development a social life
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 2:Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old, Hand out beginning of class
1. A menstrual phase usually has…
A) 4-6 days of bleeding
B) 2 days of bleeding
C) 1 day of bleeding
D) 6-10 days of bleeding
2. If a teenage girl is sexually active but does not want children, the best option for her is:
A) Only to have her boyfriend wear a condom
B) Only to use birth control
C) Use both birth control and a condom with her boyfriend
D) Use neither
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
A) It prevents sexually-transmitted diseases
B) It takes at least 7 days to be effective
C) Some antibiotics decrease how effective it is so girls may need to talk to their healthcare providers
D) Both answers B and C
4. A normal menstrual cycle:
A) Is always exactly 21 days
B) Is exactly 30 days
C) Is usually every 40 days
D) Varies from girl to girl, ranging from 21-40 days
5. Bed wetting in children:
A) Can be managed through creating a structured program of reward/punishment
B) Is not generally a problem and will often go away on its own
C) Is a serious problem in children
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 2:Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old, Hand out beginning of class
6. Which is true of puberty in boys?
A) Nocturnal emissions (aka wet dreams) happen somewhere between 13-17 years old
B) Their voice matures by age 25
C) Their pubic hair grows at age 6
D) They start asking questions about the opposite sex at age 16
7. Kids __to__ years old are officially called “school-age children” in the world of healthcare
A) 5-10 years old
B) 6-12 years old
C) 15-19 years old
D) None of the above
8. Which is important to remember about kids growing up in violent neighborhoods?
A) Gang rituals & recruiting can happen by age 13
B) Gangs will never affect your child no matter how violent the area
C) Kids around age 18 may begin to become interested in gangs
D) Your child is safer if they join a gang
9. Which are you developmentally aware of if you have a child between 13-18?
A) They believe they are invincible at this age
B) They want to only impress their parents at this age
C) They are scared to try new things at this age
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE?
A) Depression and suicide attempts are a serious risk with the internet and bullying from other teens
B) Teens no longer drive drunk
C) Teens show much higher rates of abstinence and waiting until marriage for sex as oppose to 30 years ago
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old, Hand out at end of class
1. A menstrual phase usually has…
A) 4-6 days of bleeding
B) 2 days of bleeding
C) 1 day of bleeding
D) 6-10 days of bleeding
2. If a teenage girl is sexually active but does not want children, the best option for her is:
A) Only to have her boyfriend wear a condom
B) Only to use birth control
C) Use both birth control and a condom with her boyfriend
D) Use neither
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
A) It prevents sexually-transmitted diseases
B) It takes at least 7 days to be effective
C) Some antibiotics decrease how effective it is so girls may need to talk to their healthcare providers
D) Both answers B and C
4. A normal menstrual cycle:
A) Is always exactly 21 days
B) Is exactly 30 days
C) Is usually every 40 days
D) Varies from girl to girl, ranging from 21-40 days
5. Bed wetting in children:
A) Can be managed through creating a structured program of reward/punishment
B) Is not generally a problem and will often go away on its own
C) Is a serious problem in children
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 2: Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old, Hand out at end of class
6. Which is true of puberty in boys?
A) Nocturnal emissions (aka wet dreams) happen somewhere between 13-17 years old
B) Their voice matures by age 25
C) Their pubic hair grows at age 6
D) They start asking questions about the opposite sex at age 16
7. Kids __to__ years old are officially called “school-age children” in the world of healthcare
A) 5-10 years old
B) 6-12 years old
C) 15-19 years old
D) None of the above
8. Which is important to remember about kids growing up in violent neighborhoods?
A) Gang rituals & recruiting can happen by age 13
B) Gangs will never affect your child no matter how violent the area
C) Kids around age 18 may begin to become interested in gangs
D) Your child is safer if they join a gang
9. Which are you developmentally aware of if you have a child between 13-18?
A) They believe they are invincible at this age
B) They want to only impress their parents at this age
C) They are scared to try new things at this age
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE?
A) Depression and suicide attempts are a serious risk with the internet and bullying from other teens
B) Teens no longer drive drunk
C) Teens show much higher rates of abstinence and waiting until marriage for sex as oppose to 30 years ago
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
Class 2 Quiz Answers for Children & Appropriate Developmental Stages 6-18 years old
1. A menstrual phase usually has…
ANSWER – A
2. If a teenage girl is sexually active but does not want children, the best option for her is:
ANSWER – C
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
ANSWER – D
4. A normal menstrual cycle:
ANSWER – D
5. Bed wetting in children:
ANSWER – B
6. Which is true of puberty in boys?
ANSWER – A
7. Kids __to__ years old are officially called “school-age children” in the world of healthcare
ANSWER – B
8. Which is important to remember about kids growing up in violent neighborhoods?
ANSWER – A
9. Which are you developmentally aware of if you have a child between 13-18?
ANSWER - A
10. Which statement is TRUE?
ANSWER – A
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
Weekly Class Engagement for Class 2 if time provides (do these ONLY for your weekly parents)
Activity 1: Bullying is a major problem during growth and development teenage years. How can we stop the epidemic of bullying in the communities? Is there an anti-bully? Groups of kids banding together to tell a bully to knock it off and leave people alone and find a mentor for themselves? What can parents do?
Activity 2: Teenage pregnancy is a huge component of health in teenagers and has been consistently rising over the years. While this can be an uncomfortable topic, it is important to talk about it in the open. What drives trends towards more teenage pregnancy? How do we prevent it? Does it really affect how well a young girl can move on and continue her life? Statistically, if a girl under the age of 20 has 3 or more children, she will live in poverty or borderline poverty for the rest of her life. However, there are also resources for women who are pregnant in their communities. Do youth think these young women know the resources that exist in their communities? Do they take advantage of them? How do we educate other young women about safe sex choices like always having boys use condoms even if they are using the pill?
Activity 3: Medical trivia. You will let parents pretend they are nurses or doctors and let them hear a scenario you create about a young man or woman. Make up a patient and make up the signs and symptoms they have and tell students their job is to figure out what is wrong. This is how people learn medicine in real life.
Example 1: A 17 year old girl walks into your clinic. She complains of severe abdominal pain. She has a fever. She is with her mom. You are the nurse or doctor. You ask her if she has eaten anything unusual or could have food poisoning; she says no. She is in incredible pain. You check her for signs of the flu, but she is not nauseas or vomiting or having that “aching” feeling you might expect. Then you ask her about her personal sexual history, if she is sexually active. She looks nervously at her mom, then shakes her head “no”. What could be going on here? Is it really an emergency? Let students struggle with this for a few minutes.
Answer: She is denying be sexually active because her mom is standing right next to her. In fact, this girl shows signs and symptoms of ectopic pregnancy, a severe medical emergency that requires surgery right away. You would have to be smart enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together!
Example 2: You have a little brother who is 8 years old. He is confused about puberty and in elementary school is hearing all sorts of crazy talk from his friends about what will happen. He is confused and does not know what to think. He asked you what the real story is. What do you tell him will happen to his body?
Answer: He will first have testicular enlargement and eventually public hair growth in the groin, face, chest and armpit areas. His voice will start to change around age 15-17 and it may “squeak” making high-pitched noises every now and then. He will be embarrassed but it is totally normal and every guy goes through it.
Example 3: A girl who is 19 years old has missed her period for 8 weeks now. She comes into your hospital and is very worried. You ask her if she has been sexually active and she honestly replies “no”. She is telling the truth in this case. But she has not had her period. She has no medical history, no family genetic problems.
She tells you she is very in shape and is a state track champion. What is going in here?
Answer: There is a chance this is normal for her body if she is very athletic and exercises a lot; however, she still should get followed up with a medical visit to make sure there is nothing else going on.
Example 4: In your hospital a 5 year old boy comes to you with an odd “spiral” bone break on his arm. He says he fell down the stairs. What might you suspect?
Answer: This boy was most likely physically abused; that’s a very unusual injury for that age!
Public Handout Page -
Class 3: Parents Mentor Timeline and More
Parents are mentors in every sense of the word. They are also more than mentors taking on roles that go above and beyond a “mentor” relationship. However, the mentoring part should not be overlooked. Kids that lack parents as mentors try to find someone else or inevitably someone may find them. While it is healthy other people take part in influencing your child towards positive habits and lifestyle (i.e. teachers, friends, coaches, etc.) you want to be their number one mentor.
What is a mentor? In the simplest sense, an advisor, preceptor, counselor or tutor. A parent is more than this, but also should embrace these “mentor” qualities to their child.
This mentoring timeline is a different kind of class; an open discussion about fun activities and lessons and skill-building exercises. People are encouraged to participate as we go throughout this class. For very large seminars, it is important each person not take up too much time sharing advice or stories. Ultimately, we will go through a series of parenting skill-cultivating exercises that form you as your child’s ultimate mentor. You will fill in one idea/activity under each quality of a mentor listed below and your job is to fulfill this and actually do it this week. Make it happen!
Friendship
Parents are not supposed to be only a “friend” to their child; they are obviously the disciplinarian figure too. However, elements of friendship include you show a mutual respect for your child. This is accented by doing something nice for them every now and again.
Activity: Think of one random act of kindness you have done for your child lately. It does not have to be glamorous or extravagant; it can be a small simple thing a friend has done for you in the past. Think now of what you could do:
Examples:
1) Buy them an extra shirt or pair of pants they were not expecting
2) Go to dinner with them as a family
3) Pick up a copy of their favorite movie or band for them
4) Wake up early and cooked a favorite breakfast for them
5) Clean or organize something important to them
6) Offered to do something with them and their friends or depending on their age, drive them somewhere
7) Watch one of their sports games without them expecting you there
Now write what you are going to do here and when exactly you will do it for a date and time so it really happens:
________________________________________________________________________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 3: Parents Mentor Timeline and More
Listening
This seems to be a difficult one for many people to learn. Active listening involves looking at your child, rephrasing what they are saying to validate their feelings, having a friendly posture (not arms crossed) and soft but firm voice.
Activity: Think of a time someone last listened to you very well and another time you knew someone completely ignored what you were saying. Now we can try to relate to our kids who say they feel we are not listening. Now think of something that you know your child has wanted to, or currently wants to, talk about because it is so important to them.
Examples:
1) You listen to your child talk about a favorite sports team or athlete.
2) You listen to your child talk about someone they like romantically.
3) You listen to your child talk about a problem bothering them about a friend or a bully.
4) You listen to your child talk about concerns of college, jobs or their future.
5) You listen to your child talk about a new activity they like (skateboarding, boxing, etc)
Now write what you will ask to listen about here, what day and how much time set aside to hear them:
________________________________________________________________________________________
Honesty
Every good mentor is honest with those they guide or help along the way. This quality should be the same in parents. Honesty leads to trust and vice versa; if you trust someone you are saying you have faith in their honesty.
Activity: Think of one time someone was honest with you. It can be a family member, friend, or your own mentor in life. Think of a time someone shared something personal with you that really took you by surprise and earned them your respect for being brave enough to volunteer vulnerable information. Now think of things you could say to your child that they do not already know; make sure it is not something that could hurt them by knowing this information. Give them the change to reciprocate information if they want to volunteer saying anything but never force them.
Examples:
1) You have a phobia or fear (spiders, heights, etc)
2) You did something really stupid as a kid when you were younger that you regret and want them to learn from
3) The last time you cried in private over something
4) Something that makes you angry when people do it
5) Something you wish you could have done that you never had a chance to do
6) A day that scared you
Now write what you are going to say here and when exactly you’ll do it for a date and time so it really happens:
________________________________________________________________________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 3: Parents Mentor Timeline and More
Trust
Trust is essentially faith in believing what another person says or does. We cannot mentor our children if they do not trust us and we certainly cannot demand their trust if we in turn never trust them.
Activity: Think of one time someone trusted you to do something important to them. It can be as a child or recent. Think of how rewarding that feeling of trust was, how empowering it felt to know something huge relied on you. Now think of something you could trust your child to do; something that is new or different. Make sure it is age-appropriate and safe for them to actually do! If you let them do something normally not allowed, make sure they understand this and tell them it can only continue if nothing bad happens and they tell you about any problems.
Examples:
1) Have your child take your car to the carwash if they have just gotten their driver’s license
2) Have your child take care of a younger sibling if they are old enough to do so
3) Extend their curfew a little later telling them you don’t want to see any problems result from this
4) Let them pick up the groceries and offer a few extra dollars as a thank you for them to buy one thing for them
5) Let them do something they have wanted to do that you originally did not allow (again, must be age appropriate)
6) Let them hang out with friends or in a place you normally do not like and tell them if it does not affect their behavior or safety, then it is not a problem with you
Now write what you are going to let them do and exactly when you’ll do it for a date and time so it really happens:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Guidance
Guidance is at the crux of mentoring. It is so so important. We have to be able to give sound advice to our children and if we cannot, we should ask someone more knowledgeable than us for help to first understand. If you give poor guidance now, eventually your child will rely on asking other people all the important questions for their life.
Activity: Think of one time someone guided you through a difficult situation and how hard it was for you. Think about how much their words of wisdom kept you out of a bad situation and how it protected your future. Now let’s think of a topic we can guide our kids on that will prove valuable to them.
Examples:
1) Sit down and explain the financial aid process of where and how they can find college loans or scholarships
2) Explain how they can improve in a sport or activity they currently do and give them pointers on how to do better
3) Help them with their homework in a tough class or learn it together with them by researching it online
4) If they are younger, talk to them about different sports they should try out and might be good at
5) Talk to them about different ways they may want to style their hair and try to teach them (maybe they teach you!)
Now write how you are going to guide them and exactly when you’ll do it for a date and time so it really happens:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 3: Parents Mentor Timeline and More
Time
Time is actually our most precious resource on earth. You cannot get it back no matter how rich you are and you can never be promised more of it for any pre-determined length. Giving your time to your child will be the greatest gift you have every given them and by making it into a weekly habit you solidify this into your lifestyle and theirs.
Activity: Think of someone who gave you time as a coach, volunteer or mentor. Think about what it meant for someone else who is busy with things to do prioritize you in their day, with no interruptions. It’s a great feeling. Think of ways you will begin to spend dedicated fun time with your child every week. If you already have one thing you do this is great, maybe think of another! Perhaps helping with homework every week is one form of time, but watching their favorite TV show or taking up a new exercise or sport with them reflects something more fun.
Examples:
1) You take up a new sport or exercise (i.e. go to the gym with them) every week.
2) You watch their favorite TV show with them every week.
3) You take up a playing a new videogame with them every week
4) You start a tradition of playing Scrabble or Pictionary with them every week
5) Teach them how to cook a cultural family food every week ((this was always my favorite idea!)
6) Just go to a coffee place or small shop down the street on afternoon a week to talk to them about what’s new
Now write what your new weekly activity will be & when exactly you’ll do it for a date and time so it really happens:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Discipline
A strong mentor knows when to give the discipline if outright blatant disregard or disrespect is shown. Every child deserves discipline when they try to openly disrespect you. How we give it is the challenge:
Activity: Think of someone you looked up to that was mad or disappointed with you for something you did and how they corrected your behavior. No one likes to let down a mentor and somewhere your child’s mind they do not like disappointing you. Some kids show it more openly then other. Think of ways you will discipline your child for something they are currently doing to defy you or something you anticipate may happen in the future:
Examples: ALWAYS start by teaching your child this breathwork technique having them do it front of you:
Start with the left ring finger holding the same-side left nostril and the tongue touching roof of the mouth and eyes closed. Begin with slow inhalation through other nostril, then hold breath 5 seconds, then slowly exhale through the nostril. Now repeat with the next slow inhalation and hold again for 5 seconds. After three breaths of inhalation and exhalation of one nostril, switch to the other for 3 sets of breaths again. (This quiets their mind making them reflect)
1) You take away their driving privileges for a week. If they stop acting out, they get it back.
2) Unplug the TV in the house and monitor its use or remove all videogames and lock them away for a week
3) Use the military method of exercise starting with 100 pushups (to a safe degree not physically endangering child)
Write what your new discipline method will be & when exactly you’ll do it if they currently have been acting out:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity
Obesity in the US
“Obesity now affects 17% of all children and adolescents in the United States - triple the rate from just one generation ago.”
Source: CDC, 2012 (taken from )
*That is virtually 1 in 5 children that are not slightly overweight, but medically defined as obese
*Your race and ethnicity of your family absolutely carries different risk factors; Hispanic/Latino and African-American kids are more likely to be obese than white children
*Children living in low-income or below the poverty line are much more likely to be obese
“Childhood overweight and obesity on the rise
Childhood obesity is one of the most serious public health challenges of the 21st century. The problem is global and is steadily affecting many low- and middle-income countries, particularly in urban settings. The prevalence has increased at an alarming rate. Globally, in 2010 the number of overweight children under the age of five, is estimated to be over 42 million. Close to 35 million of these are living in developing countries.
Overweight and obese children are likely to stay obese into adulthood and more likely to develop noncommunicable diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular diseases at a younger age. Overweight and obesity, as well as their related diseases, are largely preventable. Prevention of childhood obesity therefore needs high priority.”
Source: World Health Organization, 2011, taken from
This tells us that childhood obesity is more than an epidemic in the US but in fact worldwide. For many younger children, especially those under age 18, parents can help stop dangerous trends you see in your child.
What constitutes adults as “obese”
“For adults, we use weight and height to calculate what body percentage fat should be. It is good to remember that someone can actually look athletic and still have a high body mass index (BMI) for their type of body frame. For adults, if the BMI is between 25-29.9 then is overweight; if it is above 30 then that is obese.
To learn more about calculating your own body mass index, go to the CDC’s site at .
For your own child’s BMI your homework tonight is to actually go on the CDC website and use the free calculator tool they have created at . Here you will type in things like your child’s weight, height, gender and birthday to determine their BMI. It tells you right away what kinds of risk or how great the risk is to your child for problems like cardiovascular disease.
*We want to correct this problem now as parents
*If we don’t these things like heart disease, diabetes, asthma, cancer are the reason our children may die young!
*Also there is the problem of social discrimination and kids being made fun of or ridiculed for this problem
*You do care about your child so do not forget to go on this calculator tonight and find out your child’s risks!
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Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity
First issue: All healthy food costs a lot of money so if I live paycheck to paycheck it will be impossible?
Of all the myths out there in food and diet, this is the biggest. It is true that vegetables cost more than most foods, but all other foods, including whole grains, legumes, beans, seeds and even many fruits are considerably less than most junk food sold in individual units. We also need to be smart shoppers and remember at huge discount stores where people buy junk food things in bulk, it is just as easy to buy healthy things like whole-grain brown rice in bulk.
Vegetables 25% of your daily intake of food (Vitamins & Minerals)
*Vegetables can be expensive but it is far wiser to spend your money on vegetable than excess dairy and meats Vegetables that we find to have particular antioxidant benefits include (but not limited too) broccoli, ginger, celery, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, radishes, avocados, peppers, kale, spinach and shitake mushrooms.
Fruit, Nuts and Seeds 25% of your daily intake of food (Vitamins, Fats, Minerals, Protein)
*While fruit can be expensive, an apple and banana together is still cheaper than a small box of cupcakes
*Next time you are at the food store prove it to yourself and compare the cost so you see it to believe it!
*Fruit is probably the best for your family to use as an alternative to traditional desserts like ice cream, cake, etc
*Fruit juice raises blood sugar in equal time to that of soda. The point is, stick with fruit, not fruit juice!!
Have 2-3 servings of fruit like bananas, pears, apples, watermelon, pineapple, grapes, raisins, blueberries, cherries, oranges or calcium-fortified orange juice. Nuts and seeds give you healthy forms of fat, mineral and great protein; include 2-3 servings like flax, sesame seeds, almonds, walnuts, pecans, cedar nuts
Whole Grains 25% of your daily intake of food (Minerals, Some Vitamins, Carbohydrates)
*Whole grains are solid energy through the day and the best kind of grains for your heart.
*Be careful in understanding the different types of grains… white rice is NOT the same as brown rice-brown is better Have 4-5 servings a day like brown rice, potatoes, whole grain pasta, barley, oats, wheat bread.
Beans, Lentils, Yogurt and Soy Milk 25% of your daily intake of food (Protein, Carbs, Vitamins & Minerals)
*These are excellent sources of protein and it is very important to remember soy IS a complete protein.
*For those who question soy because of estrogen in men, it is important to be educated and remember not a single large scientific study has directly proven soy as a risk of anything; generations of warriors in ancient Asia survived on tofu (containing soy) and they were among the toughest men to walk the planet!
Include 4-6 servings of calcium-fortified soy milk, hummus, red kidney beans, chick peas, navy beans, black beans, split pea beans, yellow mung beans, green lentils and greek yogurt.
Why no meat or dairy
We find the healthiest people with least amount of future disease risk are those who do not include much, if any, meat or dairy for children (including kids as young as 5) as many countries use hormones and antibiotics in animal feed not too mention if you go organic for buying everything you will likely spend a fortune of money.
*We recommend kids having multivitamins (with vitamin B12 & D in them) and girls have Iron supplements
For those with kid’s with celiac disease - Okay grains: buckwheat, corn flour, cornmeal, corn starch, flax, lecithin, lentils and legumes, millet, oats, maize, potatoes, brown rice, rice bran, rice flour, tofu, yams, sweet potato, peanuts
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Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity
Bring your culture (or others) to the table! People will now take 5 minutes & talk with each other about dishes
Now you will choose 4 different dishes from the food chart on the previous page to make dinners/lunches for a food of your ethnicity or another (Asian, European, Caribbean, Latino, African, etc) that you want to try (you can google exact recipes after this lecture). You will cook these dishes with your kids as a learning activity for both of you!
1)__________________________________________ 2)_________________________________________
3)____________________________________________ 4)_________________________________________
Exercise for you and your children
*Exercise is the best form of “fun” and should be what YOUR CHILD likes, not what you or other kids
*It does not mean that a child should never watch TV or play a videogame, but instead have a balance
*Exercise is done much better for kids when on teams or with friends to add the social element to it
*Aim to have your child exercise 60 minutes a day everyday, but at least 3 days a week
*Remember things like yoga or golf, while it gets them moving, is not sufficient for cardiovascular purposes, kids need to be running around, playing, very physically active 60 minutes a day at least 3 days a week
*Muscle strengthening includes things like gymnastics or pushups while bone strengthening includes running; these should be done as part of your child’s 60 minutes in exercise (many sports practices include all of these elements!)
Source: Physical Activity for Everyone: Guidelines: Children | DNPAO | CDC. (n.d.). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from
***Money or location does not stop their chance to exercise; while schools sports or YMCAs may cost money, and some neighborhoods may be dangerous, there are activities they can do right in the house each day afterschool!!
Examples of safe indoor free cardio exercise: Jump rope (if space available), running in place while listening to music/watching TV, pushups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, practicing martial arts or dancing using DVDs
Now everyone talk and take 5 minutes and come up with suggestions for your child (and you if possible!)
Come up with 2 outdoor activities your child does or you will suggest to them:
1)_______________________________________ 2)________________________________________
Come up with 2 indoor activities your child does or you will suggest to them (remember it’s free and safe!):
1)_______________________________________ 2)________________________________________
What is “acceptable” TV times for my kids; how much is “too” much
*The American Academy of Pediatrics believe kids under 2 should not watch any TV at all
*Nearly half of households have the TV on during the day that could be a distraction to both kids and parents
*A child’s language development will be affected if they are left in front of the TV all day
Source: CAREY, B. (n.d.). TV Limits for Children Urged by American Academy of Pediatrics - . NY Times Advertisement. Retrieved February 19, 2012, from
***The ultimate recommendation, for all youth, is to limit TV to 2 or less hours per day
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PRE-QUIZ Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity, Hand out beginning of class
1. When it comes to childhood obesity in the US, looking at kids medically defined as obese comes to…
A) about 1 in 5 are obese
B) about 1 in 3 are obese
C) about 1 in 8 are obese
D) about 1 in 10 are obese
2. According to the World Health Organization
A) Childhood obesity is not a problem
B) Childhood obesity was a problem 10 years ago but rates have now greatly decreased
C) Childhood obesity can lead to heart disease and diabetes later in life
D) Childhood obesity increases the risk of communicable diseases in countries
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
A) It prevents sexually-transmitted diseases
B) It takes at least 7 days to be effective
C) Some antibiotics decrease how effective it is so girls may need to talk to their healthcare providers
D) Both answers B and C
4. What constitutes obesity?
A) For adults, it is defined as a combination of the different types of cardiovascular exercise they can do
B) For children, it is using the body mass index scale but using different parameters than adults
C) For children, it is defined using their weight in terms of how old they are (different ages are different weights)
D) Boys have a different method of calculating this then do girls
5. Risks of obesity for children include:
A) Being made fun of
B) Heart disease, cancer and diabetes
C) Low self-esteem
D) All of the above
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PRE-QUIZ Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity, Hand out beginning of class
6. When it comes to buying healthy food…
A) All healthy foods always cost more than junk food
B) It is difficult to find places that sell whole grains like brown rice in bulk
C) While some healthy foods cost money, many things like beans and lentils are cheaper then junk foods
D) None of the above
7. Choose the correct statement for exercise for your children
A) They do not need to exercise
B) They should exercise 60 minutes a day, at least 3 days a week
C) They should exercise 30 minutes a day, at least 3 days a week
D) None of the above
8. What is true about indoor exercise?
A) It is impossible to exercise indoors
B) It is very expensive for your child to exercise in your own house
C) There are many ways for kids to safely exercise indoors, including pushups, sit-ups, dancing, etc.
D) You can not get cardiovascular benefit from exercising indoors
9. What is TRUE about kids watching TV if they are under 2 years old?
A) They should not be watching any TV at all at this age
B) They are allowed 1 hour only a day
C) They can have up to 2 hours
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE for older children and teenagers in general for watching TV?
A) They are allowed 1 hour a day
B) They should never watch TV ever
C) They should be given the freedom to watch what they want whenever they want
D) They should not watch more than 2 hours a day
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POST-QUIZ Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity, Hand out at end of class
1. When it comes to childhood obesity in the US, looking at kids medically defined as obese comes to…
A) about 1 in 5 are obese
B) about 1 in 3 are obese
C) about 1 in 8 are obese
D) about 1 in 10 are obese
2. According to the World Health Organization
A) Childhood obesity is not a problem
B) Childhood obesity was a problem 10 years ago but rates have now greatly decreased
C) Childhood obesity can lead to heart disease and diabetes later in life
D) Childhood obesity increases the risk of communicable diseases in countries
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
A) It prevents sexually-transmitted diseases
B) It takes at least 7 days to be effective
C) Some antibiotics decrease how effective it is so girls may need to talk to their healthcare providers
D) Both answers B and C
4. What constitutes obesity?
A) For adults, it is defined as a combination of the different types of cardiovascular exercise they can do
B) For children, it is using the body mass index scale but using different parameters than adults
C) For children, it is defined using their weight in terms of how old they are (different ages are different weights)
D) Boys have a different method of calculating this then do girls
5. Risks of obesity for children include:
A) Being made fun of
B) Heart disease, cancer and diabetes
C) Low self-esteem
D) All of the above
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POST-QUIZ Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity, Hand out at end of class
6. When it comes to buying healthy food…
A) All healthy foods always cost more than junk food
B) It is difficult to find places that sell whole grains like brown rice in bulk
C) While some healthy foods cost money, many things like beans and lentils are cheaper then junk foods
D) None of the above
7. Choose the correct statement for exercise for your children
A) They do not need to exercise
B) They should exercise 60 minutes a day, at least 3 days a week
C) They should exercise 30 minutes a day, at least 3 days a week
D) None of the above
8. What is true about indoor exercise?
A) It is impossible to exercise indoors
B) It is very expensive for your child to exercise in your own house
C) There are many ways for kids to safely exercise indoors, including pushups, sit-ups, dancing, etc.
D) You can not get cardiovascular benefit from exercising indoors
9. What is TRUE about kids watching TV if they are under 2 years old?
A) They should not be watching any TV at all at this age
B) They are allowed 1 hour only a day
C) They can have up to 2 hours
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE for older children and teenagers in general for watching TV?
A) They are allowed 1 hour a day
B) They should never watch TV ever
C) They should be given the freedom to watch what they want whenever they want
D) They should not watch more than 2 hours a day
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QUIZ ANSWERS Class 4: Your Child’s Health: Exercise, Diet and Preventing Obesity
1. When it comes to childhood obesity in the US, looking at kids medically defined as obese comes to…
ANSWER – A
2. According to the World Health Organization
ANSWER – C
3. What is true about birth control AKA “the pill”?
ANSWER – D
4. What constitutes obesity?
ANSWER – B
5. Risks of obesity for children include:
ANSWER – D
6. When it comes to buying healthy food…
ANSWER – C
7. Choose the correct statement for exercise for your children
ANSWER – B
8. What is true about indoor exercise?
ANSWER – C
9. What is TRUE about kids watching TV if they are under 2 years old?
ANSWER - A
10. Which statement is TRUE for older children and teenagers in general for watching TV?
ANSWER – D
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
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Class 5: Guiding a Child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
Guiding kids through their adolescent years can be challenging. Peer pressure and outside influence is everywhere. How do we, as parents, deal with the media, music, movies, internet and other kids in your community who constantly are influencing your child? Furthermore, can we be the strongest influence? The answer is yes, but how remains the question. Two extreme schools of thought play out when we think of how best to parent:
COMPLETE CONTROL OVER ALL YOUR CHILD DOES – BAD STRATEGY
Some parents think having control and knowledge of every detail of their child’s life is the way to go. Normally, two giant problems result from this:
1) The “pendulum effect” suggests some kids will challenge you harder and defy you more! Think of the example of someone trying to force you to try a new ethnic food you have never had. If you are shoving it in front of their face saying “Come on come on you have to try this” most people will be agitated simply because they are not given a choice. But if you had said “Here’s this new food I found, I left it on the table, I think you’d love it” they are much more likely to try it. Not only may your kids defy you now with this strategy, they may feel the need to go even more crazy when they are off on their own. This is obviously an unhealthy result.
2) The “sheltered effect” explains that if you are so controlling and so strict with your kids and they do follow every rule and try to be perfect for you, their world will be shattered when they eventually leave the house for college, living on their own, etc. This means when they are on their own and you are not there to protect them, social situations can eat them alive. If they were never allowed to socialize with the opposite sex in high school, this can really damage their “relationship skills” later on.
NO CONTROL OR CONCERN OVER ALL YOUR CHILD DOES – BAD STRATEGY
Some parents take the other extreme and say “all you can do is trust your kids because when they are in high school, we have lost all power”. This is also a very dangerous strategy that leads to a few major problems:
1) “Latchkey” children are those who basically come home to an empty house or has complete control over every situation. This is very problematic. While some kids are old enough to be left alone, the more important thing to remember is it is NOT a simple “cut-off age” that deems them responsible. Think of when you were a child. There were 10 year olds you new more responsible than some of the 12 year olds always getting into trouble in your neighborhood. It is very difficult to define a physical age, it is more so about intellectual capability and individual responsibility. There is no exact limit, but research presented in the New York Times called “When Children Are Old Enough to Stay Home Alone, but Too Young Not to Worry About Constantly - ” suggests age 12 is a turning point for many teens cognitively (Foderaro, 2008). The major point is ask yourself if they know how to call for emergencies, listen to your instruction and obey your rules. These kids want and need some kind of supervision.
2) “Accidents” of kids never supervised vary widely. For some adolescents, there are accidental pregnancies because parents never took the time to teach their daughter how to use birth control or sons to use condoms or some that just refused to have the conversation. Even worse are cases of sexually-transmitted diseases or your child is a group with friends using drugs or alcohol. Accidents can also be the obvious form of physical accidents like kids trying or doing dangerous things when no one was around.
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
FINDING THE BALANCE – GREAT STRATEGY
Parents need to come up with a set of guidelines that help kids avoid situation of using drugs, alcohol or other peer-pressure problems. The American Academy of Pediatrics cites that a healthy family is one that has rules and guidelines for children to follow, but allow flexibility for varying circumstances (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2012, taken from ). This means that individuals treat each other with respect and honesty. Many families have a degree of loyalty, meaning children will fight to stand up to protect each other and parents, but family loyalty does not always mean we are in balance for how well we do or do not discipline our child.
*Balance is key and controlling situations of peer pressure, gangs and drugs in part relates to not letting your child run wild without your knowing. You should know where they are going because it shows them you care.
*Trust and your strong guidance is perhaps the greatest asset you have with your child because the facts are a kid can get into just as much trouble afterschool alone with friends as he can on a Saturday night unsupervised
PEER PRESSURE, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
*Peer pressure, no strong mentor and no willpower are all large risk factors to substance abuse as a teen
*It is very difficult to be in a situation where everyone is drinking or using something or trying a drug and your child is setting there stone sober doing nothing. Of course, we have to make “doing nothing” the worthwhile choice. *Hollywood, media and music certainly do not help, but these cannot be excuses for us saying we are “helpless”
*You will never be everywhere in every situation to say no for them, this strategy will not work
*Your kids ultimately need to be secure be able to say “no” AND they need to have the reasons to want to say “no”
****So to create the knowledge to want to say no, they should learn about actual reasons why it hurts them
****To create the behavior (and willpower) to say no, they need incredible security and confidence
SELLING DRUGS
*Selling drugs is done by youth as individuals and as gang activity
*Drugs creates the vicious cycle of supply, demand and generally for gangs turf wars over who can sell where leading to retaliation violence, murder and street crime at unprecedented levels
*Many studies have found gang members and individual teens who have sold drugs were NOT doing it for the thrill or to be cool, but instead to make money. In fact if you ask many kids today when their friends sell drugs, the vast majority will reply “To make money”. This obviously does not justify selling, but at least we have the reason
****Chances of youth selling drugs decreases most when they have another steady form of income, and for most high school/college kids, this means having a job. They also need to know it’s wrong even if they don’t have money.
BEING BULLIED OR HARASSED
*Being bullied is unavoidable and everyone was physically or verbally harassed at least once in their life
*In middle school or high school, the problem with relying on “teachers” is that in fairness to faculty, they cannot be everywhere all the time; having said that, it is their responsibility to address bullying when it is presented to them
*Being bullied on a daily basis can destroy self-esteem and spirit and if harassed by an entire group, this is very tough
****So you should advise your child to be a friend to bullies and not fight fire with fire. Teach them to live above name-calling and ignore words. In terms of physical violence, every child has the right to self-defense and parents should never deter this. Your child should never start the fight, but they deserve to know how to defend themselves.
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
IF YOUR CHILD IS AT RISK FOR JOINING GANGS OR IS BEING THE BULLY
*Like the problem of drugs, if your child is the bully to someone else they have issues of insecurity and fear
*For areas predominant in gangs, these situations go deeper as some gangs target youth to join by neighborhood and can even threaten kids who do not want to join; as a society we have not acted on good solutions to this problem yet
*Kids as young as 13 and in some cases younger have been actively recruited into gangs
*Warning signs of gang life include wearing certain colors, rags, hand signals, graffiti and unusual slang words
*Studies have found kids join gangs out of fear, wanting acceptance and in some cases, to make money selling drugs
****To stop a child from joining a gang, part of the battle is knowing where they are and where they are going. Try not to let them create situations where they are unsupervised in streets prone to being approached by gang members
****To change their behavior of wanting to bully others, they need discipline but also need something they can excel at that you and others take pride in and recognize them for. Your job is to build up their self-esteem incrementally when they do not bully. This way, they subconsciously associate praise for not bullying.
YOUR HOMEWORK TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD
*Maybe you already have done some or all of this for your child. But then again, more leadership can never hurt.
*We understand these talks seem to come up when problems come up or some parents avoid them in general if they have faith their child does nothing wrong. The angle you should take in sitting down with your children is to explain this discussion is not because you have no faith in them, but you want them to educate their friends.
*Tell your child you have faith they can be the better influence for others and spread the facts
Set aside 1 hour the very next soonest time you will see your child and give them these facts going thru each topic. Write down here when the next time may be. You can do this for any age whether they are 12 or 20, facts are facts.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Sex: Give them the knowledge. Regardless of your stance on premarital sex, educate your teen so they can educate others about the facts. Many parents and teenagers do not know the facts. Do they know most birth controls take at least a week to actually start working? For instance, if a girl is sick and on birth control, some antibiotics can decrease its efficacy. For girls, do they know they generally should not go on birth control if your family has a history of breast cancer or coronary/peripheral artery disease? For all teens who are having intercourse, do they know a condom should always be used to prevent STDs, even if their boyfriend or girlfriend claims they have nothing?
Drugs: Give them the knowledge. Almost all drugs, including cigarettes, get a person hooked after the first try, especially hard drugs. Marijuana decreases a boy’s sperm count and decreases a woman’s sexual ability and also slowly destroys lung tissue. *Cigarettes are the biggest culprit causing tons of future risks like heart attack, stroke, many cancers and high blood pressure. Cocaine is linked to a myriad of problems like seizures, coma, risk of cardiac death, or dying sooner in life from strokes. Steroids shrink male genitals and give females extra body hair.
Do they understand being caught with or selling drugs leads to either juvenile punishment or if they’re over 18 it stays on their permanent record? Misdemeanors make it tough to find a job, felonies make it near impossible – prevent this!
Selling drugs also makes the neighborhood more dangerous for little kids with drug deals happening in the neighborhoods and doing drugs is just as bad because it creates the continual demand for dealers to stick around.
*One remedy to quit cigarette smoking is grating one raw radish and mix with 2-3 teaspoons of honey and swallowing this every 3 hours to cut cravings. Also take a multivitamin, magnesium and valerian root supplements.
On the next page we include complementary free worksheets for your child learn to find local jobs:
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
Alcohol: While many don’t view alcohol as equally a serious problem as illegal drugs, alcohol kills more teens than all other illegal drugs combined (CDC, 2011 ). Drunk driving is not only dangerous to youth but also those they crash into and kill. Teach them it could be you or their little brother or sister they are killing on the road. If you find evidence of them doing this, severe discipline is in order. Tell them if they are smart enough to do something that risks the life of other innocent kids it makes them weak in your eyes and you taught them to be stronger than that. As they get older if you know they are going to drink, tell them you would rather them stay the night at the friend’s house and leave the keys with their friend.
Being bullied or harassed: Ask your child who is giving them a hard time and let them express how they feel.
*“Kill ‘em with kindness” where you child is always nice to them, offer to help them out; see if this changes things
*Randomly change subjects completely ignoring what they are saying and pretending as though they are carrying on a conversation when obviously the bully is not (i.e. I disagree with you, I think Bruce Lee is still the best fighter ever)
*One great strategy that is very counter-intuitive but seems to work for various kids is to invite the bully over (and maybe a few of his friends). Open the lines of communication. This strategy has had great success for many teens.
*In the moment of being bullied tell them to walk away, the oldest time tested method that is the hardest to do.
*Talk about how it makes them feel and even having a physical outlet (boxing, skating, running, etc) is good too.
*If the bully harasses a group of people, have them get that entire group of kids together and confront the bully (without violence) to point out what he or she is doing is annoying and no one has patience for it
*Great phrases your child can use when they are bullied: “What are you so worried about that makes you act like this?”; “It’s obvious you need someone to talk to and I don’t mind listening if you want”; “I’m sorry you have no one in your family or life to look up to and believe in you – if you did, you wouldn’t act this way”.
***For physical violence: Your child should always try to walk away but if they are physically cornered or trapped and being physically hurt you should encourage them to defend themselves and even learn self-defense for this reason
If your child is the bully or at risk of joining gangs: Tell them they are nervous or worried about things in their life to make them act this way if they bully or they feel like they have no strong mentor if they need a gang’s acceptance
*Discuss why they like to bully other kids & tell them to focus on a hobby & praise them when they are not bullying
*If they are older teens, tell them learning martial arts will do them a lot of good if they find a solid teacher
*Explain you understand psychology better than them and by them going out of their way to constantly hurt or bully other people means they feel like either you do not believe in them or their friends don’t really believe in them
*If it continues, ask them if they want to talk to a counselor
*Tell them joining gangs increases their chance of death as a youth 2-3 times higher and you don’t want them dead
*Tell them using weapons only increases the chance of someone using a weapon on them & illegal guns=street death
*If you live in an area high with gang violence, tell them you want them to find friends in another neighborhood and you will make the effort to be their transportation if you need to
*Tell them almost every organized gang nowadays plays some part in selling drugs; anyone selling drugs automatically puts a community at risk and wanting money isn’t an excuse for selling drugs; they are better than that
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
CREATING WILLPOWER NOW THAT YOUR CHILD HAS THE KNOWLEDGE
***Know your child has the knowledge… For them to follow through on wanting to make the right choices, they need the willpower and security to follow through. To change one’s behavior or keep it good if it already is, you should follow through this check off sheet with your child (whether they are 10 or 20 years old does not matter) to cultivate and grow the fire that is inside you as a parent as them as their own individual person. There are actual psychological and physical techniques to create the willpower.
You can change around this sheet to include your spouse or multiple children. This is our outline:
CHALLENGE YOU SPOUSE CHILD 1 CHILD 2 CHILD 3
Put your names here:
And then circle “Yes” _____________ _____________ ______________ ____________ ____________
Or “No” for each challenge
1) Giving up favorite
drink for 1 week Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
2) Giving up a favorite
food for 1 week Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
3) Giving up favorite
drink for 1 week Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
4) Take a cold
shower on purpose Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
5) Have a phone
conversation with a person
who drives you crazy Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
6) Go an entire night
without talking Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
7) Wake up early
on the weekend Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
*8) Do our famous
Breath work meditation
For 1 week everyday Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No Yes __ No
Breathwork (Pranayama) Meditation: Start with the left ring finger holding the same-side left nostril and the tongue touching roof of the mouth and eyes closed. Begin with slow inhalation through other nostril, then hold breath 5 seconds, then slowly exhale through the nostril. Now repeat with the next slow inhalation and hold again for 5 seconds. After three breaths of inhalation and exhalation of one nostril, switch to the other for 3 sets of breaths again.
***When a kid or teenager or young adult is under duress, this breathwork pattern quiets and calms their mind and actually strengthens their willpower at that very moment. It changes your physical brain chemistry in a positive way.
These are the simple little tools that make gigantic changes in someone’s life if they are smart enough to use this.
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PRE-QUIZ Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
1. When it comes to discipline for your children if you are severely strict and try to control every part of their life
A) They may have the “pendulum effect” where they try to defy you and challenge you even more
B) They may have the “sheltered effect” whereby they lose a degree of social skills that hurts them later on in life
C) It will work out well
D) Both answers A and B
2. If you choose to have no control or guidance over your child and trust them to do & decide everything themselves
A) They will likely suffer as “latchkey” children or have some kind of accident or bad situation that hurts them
B) They will probably be fine
C) They will do just as well as if you did give them guidance, structure and some degree of discipline
D) None of the above
3. When should a child be able to stay home alone?
A) Always kids over 13
B) Never leave any teenager home alone
C) Their developmental level has nothing to do with when they should be left home alone
D) It varies child to child, but some research suggests not before 12 years old
4. What offers risk of substance abuse in a teenager?
A) No strong mentor in their life
B) Lots of peer pressure from friends
C) No individual willpower of the child
D) All of the above
5. What is a major reason listed below that some youth sell drugs:
A) They want kids in their city to think they are tough
B) They want to break the law and enjoy the risk of going to jail for a long time
C) They want a way to make money
D) None of the above
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PRE-QUIZ Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
6. What is a core issue for bullies?
A) Their own insecurity
B) They want to make money which is why they bully others
C) They have very strong self-esteem
D) All of the above
7. A major reason a young adult joins a gang is
A) They like the clothing
B) They want acceptance but don’t know other ways to get it
C) They are interested in what a gun looks like
D) They want to learn how to fight
8. When it comes to drugs a core fact to teach your child is
A) You can begin to be addicted for most illegal substances after the first try
B) All drugs are very expensive
C) All drugs have the same side effects
D) None of the above
9. You have an 18 year old son who is going to prom and will likely be in situations where people drink after, you…
A) Tell him regardless of what he is doing he still must be home by midnight
B) Tell him he will be grounded forever if caught
C) Tell him drinking simply is not allowed in your house, it is your rules
D) Tell him if it’s a choice between driving drunk or staying the night at a friend’s house, to stay at the friend’s house
10. Which statement is TRUE for how your child will ultimately say “no” to doing drugs or violence?
A) If they have a lot of money
B) If they are physically very strong
C) If they have the education and willpower
D) None of the above
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POST-QUIZ Class 5:Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
1. When it comes to discipline for your children if you are severely strict and try to control every part of their life
A) They may have the “pendulum effect” where they try to defy you and challenge you even more
B) They may have the “sheltered effect” whereby they lose a degree of social skills that hurts them later on in life
C) It will work out well
D) Both answers A and B
2. If you choose to have no control or guidance over your child and trust them to do & decide everything themselves
A) They will likely suffer as “latchkey” children or have some kind of accident or bad situation that hurts them
B) They will probably be fine
C) They will do just as well as if you did give them guidance, structure and some degree of discipline
D) None of the above
3. When should a child be able to stay home alone?
A) Always kids over 13
B) Never leave any teenager home alone
C) Their developmental level has nothing to do with when they should be left home alone
D) It varies child to child, but some research suggests not before 12 years old
4. What offers risk of substance abuse in a teenager?
A) No strong mentor in their life
B) Lots of peer pressure from friends
C) No individual willpower of the child
D) All of the above
5. What is a major reason listed below that some youth sell drugs:
A) They want kids in their city to think they are tough
B) They want to break the law and enjoy the risk of going to jail for a long time
C) They want a way to make money
D) None of the above
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POST-QUIZ Class 5:Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
6. What is a core issue for bullies?
A) Their own insecurity
B) They want to make money which is why they bully others
C) They have very strong self-esteem
D) All of the above
7. A major reason a young adult joins a gang is
A) They like the clothing
B) They want acceptance but don’t know other ways to get it
C) They are interested in what a gun looks like
D) They want to learn how to fight
8. When it comes to drugs a core fact to teach your child is
A) You can begin to be addicted for most illegal substances after the first try
B) All drugs are very expensive
C) All drugs have the same side effects
D) None of the above
9. You have an 18 year old son who is going to prom and will likely be in situations where people drink after, you…
A) Tell him regardless of what he is doing he still must be home by midnight
B) Tell him he will be grounded forever if caught
C) Tell him drinking simply is not allowed in your house, it is your rules
D) Tell him if it’s a choice between driving drunk or staying the night at a friend’s house, to stay at the friend’s house
10. Which statement is TRUE for how your child will ultimately say “no” to doing drugs or violence?
A) If they have a lot of money
B) If they are physically very strong
C) If they have the education and willpower
D) None of the above
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QUIZ ANSWERS Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying & being bullied
1. When it comes to discipline for your children if you are severely strict and try to control every part of their life
ANSWER – D
2. If you choose to have no control or guidance over your child and trust them to do & decide everything themselves
ANSWER – A
3. When should a child be able to stay home alone?
ANSWER – D
4. What offers risk of substance abuse in a teenager?
ANSWER – D
5. What is a major reason listed below that some youth sell drugs:
ANSWER – C
6. What is a core issue for bullies?
ANSWER – A
7. A major reason a young adult joins a gang is:
ANSWER – B
8. When it comes to drugs a core fact to teach your child is
ANSWER – A
9. You have an 18 year old son who is going to prom and will likely be in situations where people drink after, you…
ANSWER - D
10. Which statement is TRUE for how your child will ultimately say “no” to doing drugs or violence?
ANSWER – C
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
~~~FOR ALL KIDS LOOKING TO FIND JOBS….. USE THIS!
WEBSITES OF WHERE TO FIND WORK AND POST ONLINE RESUMES
Job_Finder
These are some very popular websites that many young adults use to create profiles and it is all free. It is especially popular for college students and some high school students trying to enter job fields for entry-level work.
IDENTIFY POSSIBLE MODES OF TRANSPORTATION
Yes No 1) Do you have a car that works and you can use to drive yourself?
Yes No 2) Do you have a bus route in your area and does it come at the time you
need to go to work and leave work AND do you have a little money
to use for pay every week to use it?
Yes No 3A) Are there businesses within a 15-20 minute walk of your house?
Yes No 3B) If yes, do you have a friend to walk/bike ride with in the area or do
your parents and teachers feel the area is safe for you to walk alone?
(If not, ask them)
Yes No 4) Can your parents or someone else provide a ride to a job afterschool
hours or on Saturday or Sunday (depending)?
If you answered “Yes” to one of these (if 3 must answer yes to 3A or 3B) then transportation will not be a problem for you.
APPLYING TO LOCAL BUSINESSES
There are many local employers in the area. Students should make a list for of 10 places local to them to apply to. These places should ideally be within 15-20 minutes walking distance. We understand many problems youth have, in cities, suburbs and rural areas, is lack of transportation. Many youth do not have cars or cannot find adequate public transportation meeting their schedules. Fortunately for those who live in the urban or suburban area, there are usually many businesses within a 20 minute walk of someone’s house. Making a list of the local businesses around your house is an excellent starting point.
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
WHAT YOUTH SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEIR FIRST JOB
Regardless of what a high school or college student’s first job is, there are some highlight pointers worth discussing. First, if it is your very first long-term paid job, do not worry about what kind of job it is. A major reason youth do not find work is because they envision needing to find the “type” of job they want. But what is most important is building confidence from your from first job. Your first couple jobs in life are very important because these are the references for your future jobs.
Example: If a student wants to be a mechanic, they SHOULD NOT wait forever for a mechanic to hire them; if there is a poor economy and if you live in an area without a lot of mechanic garages, then you will be waiting a lot time for that first job. Instead, find ANY job you can and focus on working hard to do a good job and building a rapport with the boss of your job. Here are key pointers you must remember for your job:
1) Show up on time! It is bad to always be late; you will eventually get fired.
2) Be respectful. It is okay to ask questions but don’t give your workplace attitude.
3) Ask what is expected of you if you do not know. Always, always ask.
4) Do a good job. Whatever is asked of you, do it well!
5) Always keep good conversation going with your boss. Let him or her know you are working hard and well and always say “Hello, how are you?” and “Goodbye”; many young adults do not understand these are the details that will make them stand out.
GROUP SHARE
Ask your parents to share past work experiences in the group for other people. Share mistakes you may have made in past jobs or things you thought you did well in past jobs. This way, other people learn from your experiences.
HOMEWORK FOR ALL YOUTH WANTING TO FIND A JOB
1) For high school and college students, post one online resume this week on one of the websites listed that were handed out to you. For middle school kids, browse through those websites and write down 3 things you thought were easy to understand and 3 things you thought were difficult to understand.
2) Everyone needs to make a list of all businesses within a 20 minute walk of their house. People with a car they can drive can search for businesses all over their city. Everyone should go on and “google” their own address and click on the map provided. Then double-click on the map a few times as the map zooms in. Make a list of every business you see listed on map of the streets around you. This is your golden list to apply to jobs for. You should hopefully come up with a list of about 20-30 places at least.
3) Do a practice interview with you parent for the question sheets on the next page. See how well you can answer practice questions like “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
Job Interview Questionnaire and Sample Answer Hints and Suggestions
1) Hi how are you, I have some questions about your work history today. Tell me about your last job, what did you do there? What were your responsibilities?
Answer: Be honest, give a brief description of what the company did and your general assignment. For responsibilities, they should list responsibilities and activities of prior jobs that are similar to responsibilities of this job they are applying to. For example, if I worked in a grocery store before and am applying to a convenience store now, I would explain I am fast and proficient with ringing customers up, avoiding long lines.
2) What were major challenges of your last job? Did you know what to do to get through it? How?
Answer: Explain one or two specific examples of tough challenges and then say how you came up with a good solution. If you worked at a restaurant and were short-staffed one busy night, explain how you called other workers last minute and asked them to be a team player and help out by taking an extra shift and that you would return the favor sometime. Come up with these examples before the next interview.
3) Why did you leave your last job? What happened?
Answer: This is a very tricky question, but honesty is a must. Here are example re-phrasings to sound polite and honest but in a non-negative way. You never want to be negative in a job interview.
“I hated the people I worked with” instead say ( I felt the environment was not always very friendly.
“My boss did not trust me” instead say ( I felt management did not enable me to work to my full potential
“I could not keep up with the work” instead say ( The work became less rewarding to me over time
“I missed a lot of days and got fired eventually” instead say ( I had a difficult personal schedule then but I
know it will not be a problem now.
If you were fired from your last job and they ask “Why?” a great simple answer is to say “There were difficult personal situations existing before and that unfortunately stopped me from working to the best of my ability. Now time has passed and I am able to deliver much stronger for any opportunity I am given.
4) What do you expect from a supervisor?
Answer: I appreciate supervisor’s that are clear with their expectations and treat all employees equally. I feel when a boss or supervisor remembers people’s names and says “hello” it makes for a friendlier atmosphere.
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Class 5: Guiding a child through peer pressure, drugs, gangs, stop bullying and stop being bullied
Job Interview Questionnaire and Sample Answer Hints and Suggestions
5) What is your greatest strength? Your greatest weakness?
Answer: Turn your weakness into something not so negative or bad for the boss. If you are not on-time, say “I have such a busy schedule it can be a challenge for me to be everywhere I need to be at that moment, but it’s a good reminder for me to not take on so much”. Or if you don’t like teamwork say “I am passionate with my ideas in group work but of course I remember that everyone’s voice needs to be heard”. For the greatest strengths, talk about your time management and how that will let you get a lot of work done for the business. Or talk about being a leader to motivate everyone in a group to work to their fullest potential.
6) How do you describe yourself? How do others describe you as a person and worker?
Answer: Major turn-on’s for an employer include someone who is “ambitious”, “determined”, “loyal to their work, friends and family”, “thinks outside the box”, and “very helpful to everyone”. These are traits that tell an employer you will be a good member of their team.
7) How do criticize you? What do they say?
Answer: No one is constantly critiquing me. If someone has constructive criticism I am receptive, I am always willing to listen. I hope people show me the same respect I would like to show them.
8) Why do you want this job?
Answer: I feel this is a perfect opportunity for me to grow. I know there may be new things I have to learn how to do but I am up for any challenge. Hard work is nothing new to me.
9) What are some examples of teamwork you have?
Answer: I have played sports or been in clubs in the past in my school. I understood working with people of different cultures or backgrounds you should be sensitive to who people are and give everyone a chance to speak. I believe in all my teamwork settings I encouraged everyone’s voice to be heard and I will continue to do that.
10) You are new and have no experience, why should we hire you? (if you are new)
Answer: I recognize I am new, but that does not change my dedication or loyalty to whatever team I work with. I understand everyone is new at some point but I am eager and motivated to learn whatever I have to learn. I have faith in myself and the ability of others to work with me.
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
After high school and during high school are two stressful but important times for kids and what they decide they want to do with their lives. As parents, we must guide them in a firm but open manner. What is the most important thing to empower your child’s future is to make sure they have some semblance of a plan. Almost always, this falls into 1 of 3 major roads:
1) Going into college
2) Going into a trade or technical program (for a trade or technical job)
3) Going into the military
All have pro’s and con’s in their own respect. While we do not push any one of these choices, what is truly alarming are students do not often have the facts down about each. From our own experience, here are several typical things we hear that are simply wrong and for some kids these ideas are never clarified because no one ever sat them down to go through detail to detail. This is what we will help you to do in an organized efficient manner.
Here are some typical myths in the minds of high school students:
MYTH: “There is no college that will accept me for my low GPA or slow learning habits”
FACT: Many community colleges and universities DO accept students with relatively low GPAs provided they
do well on different entry exams. We will help you find resources to do this.
MYTH: “There is no other way for me to pay for college other than to join the military”
FACT: Joining the military is a decision that offers many financial benefits and it is certainly one way to have
money for college; however; there are many federal student loan programs out there that neither kids nor
parents understand the details about. Parents can take out loans called “PLUS” loans to fully finance kids!
MYTH: “You will never find a good job if you don’t go to college”
FACT: While college provides a background and in some cases, the chance to test for a license depending on
the degree, people have found and will always continue to find jobs without a traditional college
education. This is because many people went the trade or tech route and had training as a plumber,
electrician, etc.
MYTH: “I will start my own business or company right away after high school and make a lot of money”
FACT: While some kids do immediately go off and do this, they rarely make “a lot of money” and those that
are successful are the ones who first gained experience somewhere else or were given a lot of startup money by someone else! This is because having a business takes experience and usually a lot of money and physical resources they probably don’t have. It is not as easy as kids think.
MYTH: “I don’t really need a plan because I have friends or family I can stay with until I figure things out”
FACT: Nature tends to favor inertia. This means moving forward is always a good thing, even if plans
inevitably change. It is far better to have your child working towards something proactive now then to realize they should have thought about all this years ago. Now is the time!
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
THE PLAN IN HIGH SCHOOL – DON’T DROP OUT!
*Every kid needs a plan and guidance towards creating this plan (this is you!).
*Their plan should reflect what they believe will make them happy in the long run but should be realistic
*For plans that concern you (i.e. your son says he’ll just go into professional baseball) make sure they have a backup plan that protects their future (i.e. he learns a craft or trade while trying out for professional teams)
*The plan will most likely change as they get older; a very common statistic for college students is at least 50% end up changing some aspect of their major or interdisciplinary areas within their broad area of interest. 50%!!! This is a big number so we should realize that for a 19 or 20 year old student to change their mind is in no way a poor reflection on them, it’s normally part of the process.
*They should NOT focus on areas that they think are “popular in the economy” because the economy changes a lot
*They should choose something they like because money will eventually mean less to them as they get older; it will become a necessity and means to live and function in society but hopefully not be the number one priority
*Remind them there is more than one job that will likely make them happy in the world
***Kids without a plan after high school or who never finish the GED statistically are at much much greater risk for living below the poverty line and struggling in life. One study in Oregon looked at the cumulative effects of the “dropout” issue and found these kids are twice as likely to be incarcerated, more likely to need Medicaid assistance and the unemployment rate was double that of high school graduates
Source:
THE PLAN FOR DROPOUTS – COMPLETE THEIR GED
*An interesting phenomenon is in bad economies and difficult times for everyone in the job sector, people say “Everyone is unemployed, regardless of education background”. To be clear, this is temporarily true… during the bad economy. The moment the economy picks back up those with education (and at least a GED) will find work and be the first group hired back.
*The other point of completing a GED is to have the opportunity to continue learning different trades and crafts a kid may want to learn in the future. Even if they managed to find a good-paying job without a GED (which is very rare) they will not be able to transition to learning many new things that require an entry-level a GED. Examples of trades and trade programs that commonly require a GED include electricians, plumbers, mechanics, emergency medical services, construction and carpenters.
*The military generally wants people with high school completion and limits the amount of dropouts OR GED-holders that may join. The Air Force is generally the toughest group about this while usually the Army allows the most GED’s to enter. We cannot guarantee this information is 100% up to date or completely correct but we find the best resource summarizing the entry requirements of military here:
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
HOW TO KEEP YOUR CHILD MOTIVATED IN COMPLETING HIGH SCHOOL
1) Go through the list of possibilities they will or will not have depending on if they finish.
2) Completing high school means more time with friends in school
3) If the problem is gang/drug related:
*Tell them joining gangs increases their chance of death as a youth 2-3 times higher and you don’t want them dead
*Tell them using weapons only increases the chance of someone using a weapon on them & illegal guns=street death
*If you live in an area high with gang violence, tell them you want them to find friends in another neighborhood and you will make the effort to be their transportation if you need to
*Tell them almost every organized gang nowadays plays some part in selling drugs; anyone selling drugs automatically puts a community at risk and wanting money isn’t an excuse for selling drugs; they are better than that
4) Make sure they have access to afterschool help in classes they do badly in: Ask them if the teacher or any afterschool program exists and if not, then follow up with the school because so extra form of help should be available. Here are some sites we can offer to help in different subjects:
BIOLOGY: MATH:
5) This is one amazing tip we learned from another parent: Set up a “buddy system” and have your child find a friend who is good in that subject and see if they want to come over the house a couple times a week. You give the offer that if their grades are good on the next big test, they can use your house as a “videogame tournament” one night and $20 goes to the videogame winner (anyone can bring the videogame equipment). It’s simple and works!
6) What to do if your child just doesn’t care in general: Usually, there are resources available for a child to have help, especially with the internet nowadays. It seems the bigger problem is some kids simply do not care. For them, we recommend getting them into an activity or hobby that fits them well. You have to really pry and find out what motivates them and get them into something and it may not be sports (i.e. music, filming, martial arts, etc.)
HOW TO KEEP YOUR DROPOUT CHILD MOTIVATED IN COMPLETING THEIR GED
1) Go through the list of possibilities they will or will not have depending on if they finish.
2) Tonight Google “GED places” and your city and town name and as a team together with your child come up with the 3 or 4 best places they like in your local area and discuss how they can pay for the GED program.
If they need to prepare for the GED test: acenet.edu/clll/ged/index.cfm
If they need help reading/writing:
If they need help learning English (as second language):
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
Financial aid scares most kids and parents. They get confused over how it works, where they can access it, how loan repayment works and what cost looks like. Parents with juniors or seniors in high school fill out this sheet.
Student Government Loans – money that eventually must be repaid to government with some of interest
a) Stafford – As of 2012 the total loan limits for each dependent (independents get more money)
college student is: Freshman ($5,500), Sophomores ($6,500), Juniors ($7,500) and
Seniors ($7,500), Professional Graduates ($20,500) and Medical Students ($40,500). The
Stafford loan interest rates have been around 7% over the last few years but students do NOT
have to start paying it back until they have been out of school greater than 6 months. If they are
without a job, they can have this period extended.
b) Perkins Loans – These are loans only for families in incredible financial need, and you must talk
to the Financial Aid department of the college you are interested in and see if you qualify. They
allow undergrads to borrow $5,500 per year and graduates to borrow $8,000 per year.
Parent Loans – “parent loan for undergraduate students” are “PLUS” loans that parents take out from the government with no limit (so parents could choose to take out the full cost of student’s attendance); it is important to note this “PLUS” loan is available to parents of undergraduate AND graduate students. If parents are taking out “PLUS” loans for their kids, they should have a say in where they go to college
Private Education Loans – loans given by banks or private lenders that are separate from the government, must be paid back and generally at higher interest rates than government loans and also depends on your credit score: students will need someone with good credit to sign off on it (normally a FICO score of 650 or higher) and we recommend students always using someone as a cosigner
Grants/Scholarships – this is money given for school that does not have to be paid back ever
We recommend searching opportunities on . Your child should dedicate 1-2 weeks applying for as many scholarships as they think they can.
YOUR SAVINGS – It is STRONGLY recommended parents with young children set aside $20-50 a month now per child for their future education. Talk to your bank soon about long-term saving plans.
1) Know what’s guaranteed: In almost all circumstances, you will be guaranteed the parent “PLUS” government loans and federal government student loans of Stafford and Perkins.
2) Think ahead of repayment strategies now: Loan Forgiveness. This is when a student that recently graduates chooses to do work for the military (sometimes as a civilian), or volunteer or public service work in the US. All of these choices allow to have a student’s loans paid off. If students are willing to do this then that greatly decreases their concerns or worries about paying money back. Even if not, do not worry, it simply means learning to manage their money which they need to learn anyways.
a) Army National Guard usually can give up to $10,000, the Army and Navy will repay up to
$65,000 in federal student loans (NOT private loans) for those who enlist after graduating
b) Those who went to school for law, teaching, nursing or medicine are usually offered debt
forgiveness if they sign a contract to work X number of years in a poor area lacking medical attention
c) Americorps and Peace Corps volunteers can a small portion paid off for volunteer work
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
3) Sit with your child and make a list of the top 5 colleges they want to go to and write down the TOTAL cost of attendance each year. You must know if they want to live on campus or not, (if they do add in an extra cost called “Room and Board). Weigh out the pro’s and con’s of commuting if they are not sure. Living on campus gives a different experience but some kids prefer to live at home and just visit college friends at other campuses. There is no right answer.
SCHOOL COST (whole program) PRO’S CON’S
a)_______________________ _______________ ______________________ ____________________
b)_______________________ _______________ ______________________ ____________________
c)_______________________ _______________ ______________________ ____________________
d)_______________________ _______________ ______________________ ____________________
e)_______________________ _______________ ______________________ ____________________
4) Use this site to find projected costs of your specific college (to give you an idea):
and write down total cost of each school in the above chart.
5) Ultimately, your child should decide what school they like the best and feel the most comfortable with. It’s also important the school offers 2 or 3 of your child’s favorite areas to learn and work in someday because, remember, they will likely change their mind and their major several times and that is perfectly normal.
6) Kids going to college or a trade or technical program often worry about other bills like car insurance or if they live off campus in an apartment with friends or maybe just want to know what they will have for spending money and college books. For these “other” costs what they need to do is make their own budget outline dealing with the first year (usually starting with the fall season going through the summer of next year, like Fall 2010 to next Fall 2011).
To do this requires they need to add up the following projected costs for the first year they are going away.
a) EXTRA COSTS FROM FALL OF ONE YEAR TO FALL OF NEXT: They should include: school books (usually $1000 a year but can be as low as $500 if used book deals online like Amazon, , , etc), car insurance, spending money each week, gas money if commuting to college, money for rent if living off campus (much cheaper to live off campus and split rent with friends than live alone).
b) WHAT THEY HAVE NOW: Write down money you already have saved up now if any.
c) WHAT THEY CAN EARN UNTIL THEY LEAVE: Now is the time to find a job and save up before they leave. Project out what you think they can make (even a low paying job $8 per hour) * hours per week * months
d) Now see if their costs = income now + income potentially earned working a job and go from there!
7) When it is time to apply for your students’ government loans, sit with them and go to and plan for 2 uninterrupted hours to go through the process.
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Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
HOMEWORK FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD: It only takes about 10 minutes to do but it’s something you probably have not sat down to do. It is something many of your parents and teachers will have wished someone did for them and we are now doing it for you. People talk about careers of who is doing what but people rarely have set plans of how they will do it. You need a plan whether you realize this or not. We will help you start this plan. You really should save this sheet of paper as a reminder when you are feeling angry or confused as you move forward in life.
For middle school students: What is your initial track? Where do you see yourself in the future? College, military or a trade program like an electrician? It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do but it’s important you know how to get where you’re going. It all starts with school. Believe me, without education you will not get far. This time in your life is important as you plan for high school. Do you know how to study? Do you make the effort to stay afterschool for extra help when you need it. If you are part of our crew at AOS, you better be smart enough to do these things. Martial arts is cool, but school comes first, every great fighter knows that.
List 2 subjects you need help with and plan times during days next week you will stay after to ask for help or even ask friends during lunch or over the weekend in your neighborhood. If you don’t need any help in school, list two local places around you would like to eventually work at afterschool.
1)_______________________________________________________________________________
2)_______________________________________________________________________________
For high school / GED continuing students: What is your initial track? Where do you see yourself in the future? College, military or a trade program like an electrician? Juniors and seniors usually have a better idea of this. What about afterschool or summer jobs?
List 2 subjects you need help with and plan times during days next week you will stay after to ask for help or even ask friends during lunch or over the weekend in your neighborhood. Your commitment to AOS getting all this free stuff is paid back to us by making a commitment to your future and education.
1)_______________________________________________________________________________
2)_______________________________________________________________________________
Now list the top places you will continue your life after high school / your GED. For almost everyone, this will be either college, a trade/tech program or the military. List your top 3 choices and when you will need to apply to get there (look on their websites or call). It’s always good to have a backup plan in case your first place does not work out. You also need to find one contact person who is already in the field you want to be a contact person for you so you can ask them questions along the way for advice.
1)_______________________________________________________________________________
2)_______________________________________________________________________________
3)_______________________________________________________________________________
ContactPerson_________________________________Phone/Email_____________________________
Public Handout Page -
Class 6: Guiding Your Child After High School, What to Do for Dropouts and Financial Aid
ON YOUR OWN TIME (not class!): Bonus Handout for parents whose kids are interested in joining the military
Army of Saints ASVAB Military Test Review Session©
The Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery test (ASVAB) is the US military entrance exam showing one’s different job potentials for the service. There are nine basic sections currently covered: Word Knowledge (WK), General Science (GS), Arithmetic Reasoning (AR), Mechanical Comprehension (MC), Automotive and Shop Information (AS), Electronics Information (EI), Mathematics Knowledge (MK), Paragraph Comprehension (PC) and last Assembling Objects (AO).
The initial test you take is called the “Armed Forces Qualification Test” (AFQT) is includes Arithmetic Reasoning (AR), Mathematics Knowledge (MK), Paragraph Comprehension (PC), and Word Knowledge (WK). After this test, you would then take the full ASVAB.
The scores are based on percentiles, so if you get a 70, this does not mean you received 70 out of 100, rather you scored in the 70th percentile of all people who took the test. is a great site that offers the breakdown of which specialties within which branches of the armed services expect which specific scores to get into. It will provide the most up-to-date information for test score cutoffs.
As of 2011 the basic requirements are:
BRANCH Percentile AFQT Percentile for those with GED
|Military Marines |AFQT 32 | 50 |
|Dedfffr Army |50 |Ddfff 65 |
|Ar Army National Guard |50 | 65 |
| Air Force |50 | 65 |
| Air National Guard |313 31 | 50 |
| Navy |50 | 65 |
| Coast Guard |45 | 50 |
The major reason students wishing to go into the military do not do well on the ASVAB is not because they are not smart enough. The ASVAB is not an overly difficult test, but it just explore what a student knows across many different areas. What students need to do is have a solid study guide session that usually no one sits down and explains to them.
This is the following study guide we have seen yield excellent results for students and is doable for most high school students and GED students looking to go into the military. Many students make the mistake of being too eager to want to go in right away, which is a bad decision because your ASVAB score dictates much of what you will be able to do in different areas of the military. It is worth preparing properly for if this is the direction you choose to go in life.
The test is timed so here are basic time marks:
General Science – 25 questions in 11 minutes Auto Shop – 25 questions in 11 minutes
Arithmetic – 30 questions in 36 minutes Mathematic Knowledge – 35 questions in 11 minutes
Word Knowledge – 25 questions in 11 minutes Mechanical Comprehension – 25 questions in 19 minutes
Paragraph Comprehension – 15 questions in 13 minutes Electronics – 25 questions in 9 minutes
Public Handout Page –
Arithmetic Review Questions
1) A plane flies 380 miles in 2 hours, how many miles will it have flown in 5 hours?
A) 500 miles
B) 935 miles
C) 1,200 miles
D) 950 miles
2) Dan gets a salary of $500 for the first 10 cars he sells at his car lot. Every car he sells after 10 cars, he makes 125% of his normal salary. This month he sold 14 cars, how much did he make?
A) $5400
B) $6400
C) $7500
D) $7700
3) One number is four times the other number and together their sum equals 104. What is the larger of the two numbers?
A) 93
B) 89
C) 83.2
D) 90.2
More online recommended sites:
.
Public Handout Page –
Arithmetic Review Answers
1. Answer D; This question tests how well you can adjust a number to its continual rate. Setting up a proportion will always work for problems like this. Even if a problem says “Each shirt cost $24, how many will 8 cost” or a problem says “380 people require one police officer, how many require 3 officers?” These are ALL proportion-type problems. To set up a proportion, use this method:
A1 A2 This is where you are given two sets of identifying information. Assign each
______ = _______ type of information to “A” and the other to “B”. For the plane problem, let’s
Assign “Miles Traveled” to “A” and “Hours” to “B”. So group the info B1 B2 into sets, the plane flew 380 miles in 2 hours, so A1 = 380 miles and B1 = 2
hours. Then the next set of info gave the second set of hours, which was 5
hours. So now B2 = 5 hours. Remember, your “A”s should be the SAME type
of information given. You “B”s should be the other type of information given.
Finally, one of the letters will always be the empty variable you are trying to
figure out. In this problem, it is A2 because we want to know the second set of
“Miles Traveled”. So here is how it is set up:
380 miles A2
________ = _______ ( 380 x 5 = 2 x A2 ( 1900 = 2 x A2 ( 1900 / 2 = (2 x A2) / 2 ( 950 = A2
2 hours 5 hours
How do you figure out the problem from here? You need to remember this important formula:
A1 x B2 = A2 x B1. This confuses people but the easiest way to remember it is to CROSS MULTIPLY. That is, make an “X” across the entire equation and you will see them line up!
2. Answer: C First, understand the Dan has two different pay rates: $500 for the first 10 cars. What is his pay rate for every car over 10 cars? You first need to know what 125% of 500 is. How do you do this? Easy; do 1.25 x 500 and this will always work to figure out percents of other numbers. REMEMBER to multiply by a percentage you must first move the decimal point back two places! So 1.25 x 500 = 625. Now we know he gets $625 for every car over 10 he sells.
How many did he sell? 14, so the first 10 is $500 x 10 = $5,000 and the second 4 would be $625 x 4 = $2,500. The total would be $5,000 + $2,500 = $7,500.
3) Answer C; For this you need to learn to write out a sentence as a math equation and usually you will do it in two parts. Read the first part. It says one number is four times the other number. So say the first number is x and the second number y. That means x = 4y. Here is your first equation. The second part said their sum equals 104. This translates to x + y = 104.
x = 4y; x + y = 104 so the key is to realize “x” in the equation x + y = 102 can be substituted for “4y”
Now 4y + y = 104 ( 5y = 104 ( y = 20.8 and remember x = 4y. So x = (4) (20.8) ( 83.2
Public Handout Page –
Mathematics Knowledge Review Questions
1) If one mans runs 12 minute miles and his friend runs 9 minute miles, after two hours of running, how far will the faster man be ahead of his slower friend?
A) 3 miles
B) 3.3 miles
C) 4 miles
D) 4.3 miles
2) You are carpeting a corner of a room. This triangle corner has a 90 degree right angle in the corner of the room and each wall length meeting to make the right angle is 7 feet and 5 feet, respectively. What is the length of the other side of this triangle?
A) 10 feet
B) 4 feet
C) 6.6 feet
D) 8.6 feet
3) A paint crew needs to paint the front of a famous building in the shape of a triangle. Its base is 60 feet wide and its height is 110 feet tall. One gallon covers 50 square feet of paint. How many gallons does this paint crew need to paint the entire side of the building?
A) 70 gallons
B) 85 gallons
C) 66 gallons
D) 56 gallons
4) A man wants to drain his small lake in back of his house. Is hose allows 1,400 gallons to pump out water a day. The lake contains 56,000 gallons of water. If he purchases and extra hose that pumps out at the same rate, how quickly will his lake drain?
A) 18 days
B) 20 days
C) 19 days
D) 23 days
5) What is “pi”?
A) The radius divided by a circle’s circumference.
B) The circumference of a circle divided by its diameter.
C) The diameter divided by a circle’s circumference.
D) None of the above.
Public Handout Page –
Mathematics Knowledge Review Questions
1) Answer B; This requires you know how to put a situation into an equation. Usually there will be only two different variables, it’s easiest for you to use “x” and “y”. “x” will be the first man’s miles who runs 12 minute miles. “y” will be the other man’s miles who runs 9 minute miles. Make two different equations and set them to the final big number given. Every problem like this will always have some bigger number to work towards finding out the information for. In this case, it’s two hours but you have to be smart and know to convert hours to minutes. 2 hours = 120 minutes. So:
12x = 120 minutes ( x = 10 miles
9y = 120 minutes ( y = 13.3 Now we know the difference between the two is 13.3 - 10 = 3.3
2) Answer D; The formula for the Pythagorean Theorem is expressed as A2 + B2 = C2 where A2 and B2 are the adjacent sides that meet up to make the 90 degree right angle. Here the lengths given to make the right angle are given; 7 feet and 5 feet. And the theorem says A2 + B2 = C2.
So (7x7) + (5x5) = C2 ( 49 + 25 = C2 ( 74 = C2 ( C = 8.6
3) Answer C; This is a two part problem. The first part requires you to know how to get the square area of a triangle. For triangles to get the area, remember Area = ½ Base x Height. So for this problem the base is 60 feet and the height is 110 feet. Thus, area = ½ 60 x 110 ( 3,300 square feet. This is the first thing you need to find out.
The second piece is a simple proportion. You know you need enough paint for 3,300 square feet and 1 gallon only covers 50 feet worth. So do 3,300 / 50 = 66 gallons.
4) Answer B; this requires you to carefully read the problem. Look at the total gallons in the lake, it is 56,000 gallons. One pump takes out 1,400 gallons per day but the question says what if he buys a second pump too? Now 1,400 x 2 = 2,800 gallons per day, so 56,000 = 2,800X ( X = 20 days
5) Answer B; The circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. About 3.142
Word Knowledge Review
Here are some great sites to begin practice:
Paragraph Comprehension Review
More great sites to begin practice:
Public Handout Page –
ASVAB Comprehensive 8 Week Study Guide Before Taking ASVAB
|Week 1 |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
|(Mon-Fri) |Math Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Math Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Math Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Math Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Math Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2.5 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Word Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Paragraph Comprehension - 15 |Q's a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Word Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Paragraph Comprehension - 15 |Q's a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Word Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Paragraph Comprehension - 15 |Q's a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2 hours a day this week | | | | |
| | | |
|(Mon-Fri) |Word Knowledge - 30 problems |a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Paragraph Comprehension - 15 |Q's a day (about 15 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Arithmetic - 30 problems a day | (about 30 minutes and another 30 to review) |
| |Set aside 2.5 hours a day this week | | | | |
|Take Saturday & Sunday off to give your brain a chance to recharge and a 10 minute break after each hour | |
Public Handout Page -
Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families
Abuse Epidemic Among Families
The sad fact is many families that have a history of substance abuse run the risk of passing on dangerous habits to their children. It is important to understand the risks children and teenagers have in environments where drinking or drugs are the norm. We include child abuse and substance abuse together because each can be a risk factor for the other to happen as well. In this segment we will address different risk factors and how to eliminate this problem.
What are the facts of substance abuse
*Children in families with substance abuse are at increased risk for lack of care and physical abuse
*Families with substance abuse can be linked to having varying degrees of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
*PTSD leads to increased problems in school for children including having outbursts of violence
*Some instances of substance abuse show the prime motivation of entering detox programs is for a parent to maintain custody of their child; further, their children may originally be part of their reason they had substance abuse problems
*Parental substance abuse affects cognitive skills in learning, motor and speech development of younger children
*It affects the social and emotional development of children of all ages across the board
*Substance abuse can create “transient” situations where a child or teenager is forced to try to function a normal lifestyle under very difficult situations (i.e. moving from apartment to apartment)
*Role reversal can take effect where children take on “parenting roles” assuming a mother or father’s responsibility
*Role reversal can lead to lack of relationships age-appropriate for the child and negatively affect their development
*If substance abuse warrants involving state agencies to get involved and temporarily remove children from the
households this can disrupt their entire life and often affects schoolwork and behavior
*Substance abuse can even mask a parent’s understanding of how abusive or neglectful they are
Source: Greenberg, Rivka. (1999). “Substance Abuse in Families”. Childhood Education. Vol 72: 2
SIGNS: If a child knows their parent or caretaker has a problem with drugs or alcohol, if a child is constantly doing the work of an adult (i.e. cooking dinner every night or completely taking care of younger siblings)
What are the facts of physical abuse
*This refers to physical injuries the child receives as disciplinary punishment
*Most abuse is done by family members or friends, not total strangers
*Physical abuse is NOT considered a one-time isolated slap on the cheek for a child’s outburst of bad behavior
*Most physical abuse is beyond a “single slap” on a child’s cheek but can include close-fist strikes, belts, hard physical objects, biting, choking, etc.
*Physical abuse revolves around continual fear in a child, unpredictable outbursts on your part and often misplaced anger towards your child when you have other major issues going on in your life
*Risk factors include poverty, substance abuse/alcoholism, single parents, domestic violence, lack of education
*These children are at great risk for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Source: Child abuse - physical - PubMed Health. (n.d.). National Center for Biotechnology Information. Retrieved February 25, 2012, from
SIGNS IN CHILDREN: Spiral bone fractures, black eyes, unusual bruises, wearing extra clothes to cover up marks, cigarette burns, choke marks around neck, lash marks, bite marks
IN BABIES: Unexplained unconsciousness/seizures (shaken baby syndrome), bulging fontanelle or sutures in head
RESOURCES: 1-800-4-A-CHILD
Public Handout Page -
Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families
What are the facts on psychological abuse and neglect
*Neglect can lead to a very empty, shallow relationship between kids and their parents
*A ”worthless” feeling often associates with this kind of abuse
*Common forms of neglect include not taking care of basic hygiene, nutrition, water or clothing for a child
*Parents with physical or mental disabilities are at greater risk for having these problems with their children
*Psychological abuse can involve not touching a child but making them witness violence or other inappropriate acts between family members
*Constantly insulting children or telling them they are stupid or worthless is a form of psychological abuse
*Risk factors include poverty, difficult family situations, substance abuse or parent’s mental illness
SIGNS IN KIDS: Difficulty with school, sleep problems, wild or rebellious behavior, weight loss, depression, anxiety
SIGNS IN BABIES: Failure to thrive, difficulty gaining any weight
RESOURCES:
What are the facts on sexual abuse
*Sexual abuse is when someone forces a minor to be a part of sexual activity (WITH or WITHOUT touching)
*Sexual abuse can include making a child watch pornography or watching sexual acts
*Sexual abuse can include molesting, fondling or having sexual intercourse with a child
*It is a very secret form of abuse and the abusers or normally men but can be women
*Risk factors include poverty, substance abuse and serious family struggles of different kinds
Source: Child abuse - sexual - PubMed Health. (n.d.). National Center for Biotechnology Information. Retrieved February 25, 2012, from
SIGN IN KIDS: Repeated headaches, stomachaches, sleep problems, eating disorders, genital or rectal problems unusual for their age, STDs, problems sitting or walking, other signs include high-risk behavior with drugs or sex
RESOURCES:
How to act if you see someone abusing their child
*Many groups like medical professionals, teachers or law enforcement are required to report sexual abuse
*If you witness it, you should report it to local authorities or the state
*There is taboo of parents NOT reporting other parents because they feel “it is not their business” but if there are clear patterned signs of abuse like the signs to look out for, as a parent you must legally report it, it’s the right thing to do
Abuse – a cycle all the time?
*Many abusive parents that seek help to stop abusing their children have the innate fear their children will be abusers just like they were; however, this is not always true – there are many cases of abused children that go the other way and become very strong loving parents because they never want their child to experience that
*While abuse creates more abuse, we must remember it is no excuse. A 30 or 40 year old parent may have had a rough life but they know the difference now; if they truly did not know the difference they would treat their child in public the exact same as they do in the privacy of their own home (almost always they do not!)
*Parents can change and choose to end the cycle of abuse but sometimes they need others to step in and protect the child whether or not the parent agrees with that
*The fact is there have been parents who found help, got treatment and counseling and turned their life around
Public Handout Page -
Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families
As a courtesy, there are two basic integrated medical treatment outlines we offer the general public for substance abuse.
ALCOHOLISM
What it is: Addiction to alcohol, can include those who only drink on weekends. Can cause defects in a baby
Signs and Symptoms: Feeling compulsion to drink, drinking in private, sweating and shaking when you stop drinking, having any repeated relationship problem when using it, losing interest in activities you once liked.
Risk Factors: Male gender, drinking when young, family history, regular usage and mental health problems.
Prevention: Not drinking or at least constantly monitoring yourself during daily or weekly drinking.
Diagnosis: Practitioners will have you fill out questionnaires usually guided by the DMS.
Western Treatment: Patients may be recommended for an inpatient center for detox. Detox begins 4-7 days for the initial phase. Plan for symptoms of shaking and mood swings. Oral pills will likely be given and AA or Alcoholics Anonymous is a great tool that works for about 1 in 5 people and can be a long-term commitment.
Eastern Treatment (check with your provider to include these with Western meds):
Diet- Refer to Army of Saint’s “Nutrition Chart of Champions”
Substance-less Medicine – Refer to your handout, meditation attempts are fundamental for these patients, Qi Gong 30 minutes daily, and pranayama 15 minutes daily. If you have time for yoga also, it is advised.
Exercise- 30 minutes daily; this takes away some of the jitteriness and sweating helps eliminate toxins
Strained black bean soup – Boil 1 can of black beans in water, mix with 2 teaspoons ginger, drink as a soup daily
Strained hyacinth bean soup – Boil 1 can of hyacinth beans in water, drink as a soup daily
American Ginseng – Use American Ginseng (not any other type) as a capsule supplement, take as directed
Rice Vinegar Tea – 1 tablespoon sugar in 1 tablespoon rice vinegar, add some boiled water to dissolve & drink
Multivitamin – Take as directed
Glutamine – Take as supplement in capsule form as directed
Fish Oil OR Flax Seed Oil – Take double a day as directed (there will not be any harmful effects doing this)
Magnesium Citrate and Calcium Citrate Supplements– Take as directed, be sure to find them in the forms specified
Pancreatic Enzymes – Take during the day on an empty stomach as directed (NEVER take with food!)
==================================================================================
DRUG ADDICTION
What it is: Addiction to drugs, can include prescription drugs that are abused and misused.
Signs and Symptoms: Feeling compulsion to use a substance to function normally at baseline.
Risk Factors: Family history, regular usage, traumatic events and mental health problems.
Prevention: Not “trying something once”, avoiding situations that may tempt you into trying substances.
Diagnosis: Practitioners will have you fill out questionnaires usually guided by the DMS & do drug tests.
Western Treatment: Patients may be recommended for an inpatient center for detox. Detox begins 4-7 days for the initial phase. Plan for withdrawal symptoms; conventional meds and group sessions will likely be used
Eastern Treatment (check with your provider to include these with Western meds):
Diet- Refer to Army of Saint’s “Nutrition Chart of Champions”
Substance-less Medicine – Refer to your handout, meditation attempts are fundamental for these patients, Qi Gong 30 minutes daily, and pranayama 15 minutes daily. If you have time for yoga also, it is advised.
Exercise- 30 minutes daily; this takes away some of the jitteriness and sweating helps eliminate toxins
Multivitamin – Take as directed Magnesium Citrate Supplement – Take as directed
Fish Oil OR Flax Seed Oil – Take double a day as directed (there will not be any harmful effects doing this)
Strained black bean soup – Boil 1 can of black beans in water, mix with 2 teaspoons ginger, drink as a soup
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families; no names, hand out at beginning of class
1. When it comes to abuse in families….
A) Child abuse is not a big problem in our society today
B) One form of child abuse is often closely linked with other forms of child abuse
C) Child abuse no longer exists
D) Abused children will always continue the cycle of child abuse
2. In what kind of abuse do we sometimes see “role reversal” of the child playing the part of the parent?
A) A parent’s sexual abuse
B) A parent’s drug or alcohol abuse
C) A parent’s physical abuse
D) None of the above
3. What is true about parent’s substance abuse that has put their child in danger?
A) If they are caught, they will lose their kids forever
B) It is impossible for them to seek help
C) If they get help and counseling, usually they have the chance to regain custody of their child
D) If they do not say anything or get help and it continues to happen, chances are no one will ever find out
4. What would be a sign of physical abuse of a child in your neighborhood?
A) A runny nose and cold
B) Scraped knees and elbows
C) Spiral bone fracture of the arm
D) Ear infection with redness around the ear
5. What is a cardinal sign of a physically abusive parent?
A) Random, unpredictable outbursts of violence
B) Misplaced anger towards their child
C) High likelihood of poverty, substance abuse or having been abused themselves
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families; no names, hand out at beginning of class
6. Which are signs of neglect in a child?
A) A black eye
B) Rebellious behavior
C) Sexually-risky behavior
D) Genital or rectal problems unusual for their age
7. What is a sign of neglect in a baby?
A) Unusual bruising on the baby’s body or unexplained unconsciousness
B) Failure to thrive, failure to gain weight
C) Crying off and on throughout the day
D) All of the above
8. Which is TRUE about sexual abuse?
A) It always involves touching a child
B) It always involves hitting and beating up a child
C) It only happens to children over 13 years old
D) None of the above
9. What are signs of sexual abuse in a child?
A) Eating disorders
B) Age-inappropriate sexual activity or seductive behavior
C) Unusual genital or rectal problems
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE about reporting child abuse?
A) Medical professionals and law enforcement must report it
B) Parents have an ethical obligation to report it if they see clear patterns of the signs in a child
C) In many cases, a parent will have a chance to get their children back if they get help
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families; no names, hand out at end of class
1. When it comes to abuse in families….
A) Child abuse is not a big problem in our society today
B) One form of child abuse is often closely linked with other forms of child abuse
C) Child abuse no longer exists
D) Abused children will always continue the cycle of child abuse
2. In what kind of abuse do we sometimes see “role reversal” of the child playing the part of the parent?
A) A parent’s sexual abuse
B) A parent’s drug or alcohol abuse
C) A parent’s physical abuse
D) None of the above
3. What is true about parent’s substance abuse that has put their child in danger?
A) If they are caught, they will lose their kids forever
B) It is impossible for them to seek help
C) If they get help and counseling, usually they have the chance to regain custody of their child
D) If they do not say anything or get help and it continues to happen, chances are no one will ever find out
4. What would be a sign of physical abuse of a child in your neighborhood?
A) A runny nose and cold
B) Scraped knees and elbows
C) Spiral bone fracture of the arm
D) Ear infection with redness around the ear
5. What is a cardinal sign of a physically abusive parent?
A) Random, unpredictable outbursts of violence
B) Misplaced anger towards their child
C) High likelihood of poverty, substance abuse or having been abused themselves
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families; no names, hand out at end of class
6. Which are signs of neglect in a child?
A) A black eye
B) Rebellious behavior
C) Sexually-risky behavior
D) Genital or rectal problems unusual for their age
7. What is a sign of neglect in a baby?
A) Unusual bruising on the baby’s body or unexplained unconsciousness
B) Failure to thrive, failure to gain weight
C) Crying off and on throughout the day
D) All of the above
8. Which is TRUE about sexual abuse?
A) It always involves touching a child
B) It always involves hitting and beating up a child
C) It only happens to children over 13 years old
D) None of the above
9. What are signs of sexual abuse in a child?
A) Eating disorders
B) Age-inappropriate sexual activity or seductive behavior
C) Unusual genital or rectal problems
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE about reporting child abuse?
A) Medical professionals and law enforcement must report it
B) Parents have an ethical obligation to report it if they see clear patterns of the signs in a child
C) In many cases, a parent will have a chance to get their children back if they get help
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
QUIZ ANSWERS, Class 7: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse in Families
1. When it comes to abuse in families….
ANSWER – B
2. In what kind of abuse do we sometimes see “role reversal” of the child playing the part of the parent?
ANSWER – B
3. What is true about parent’s substance abuse that has put their child in danger?
ANSWER – C
4. What would be a sign of physical abuse of a child in your neighborhood?
ANSWER – C
5. What is a cardinal sign of a physically abusive parent?
ANSWER – D
6. Which are signs of neglect in a child?
ANSWER – B
7. What is a sign of neglect in a baby?
ANSWER – B
8. Which is TRUE about sexual abuse?
ANSWER – D
9. What are signs of sexual abuse in a child?
ANSWER - C
10. Which statement is TRUE about reporting child abuse?
ANSWER – D
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
This week’s class is an opportunity for you parent’s to make a direct impact on your community. Our nonprofit that created this parenting curriculum has many free programs that our unpaid volunteer instructors come out and teach your children for free afterschool. These programs are geared towards middle school and high school students but affect the entire community. We have included this special class because we hear parents say things like this all the time who want to change their community. Read closely to see if anything applies to you:
“I wish there was more for my child afterschool to give them something to do”
“Many sports programs at my school costs money or even more difficult, my child does not like those sports”
“My child loves sports but I would like to see him involved in other things too”
“There are a lot of problems at my child’s school with drugs and violence”
“Gangs are a problem in our neighborhood and I don’t like it”
“Bullying is a major issue in my child’s school and it never seems to go away”
***“My child needs a mentor who can be a positive strong influence on him and set him on the right path”
***”My child needs someone besides me to sit and talk with them about their future and where they are going”
***”I want to make sure there is as much done as possible to keep my child safe and out of drugs in school”
Army of Saints, Inc. (AOS) is a non-religious, non-political 501(c)(3) nonprofit working to actively intervene and decrease drugs and violence in our communities using the practice, philosophy and discipline of martial arts and education. Our goals include preventing high-school dropouts, bullying and drug use while offering work-preparation skills. We encourage and guide troubled youth heading down dangerous paths to join specific programs to learn discipline and strong work ethic while being part of our team. We have found a novel way to link experienced college students from local communities to serve as strong mentors to youth in their area. We work with your local schools and universities to keep all our programs 100% free to youth – always. Our programs speak for themselves:
“I felt your past presentation was awesome! The students were on the edge of their seats and were focused on your message against drugs and violence. I really feel that your combination of youth, speaking skills, and positive message were a perfect connection to make an impact on our students.”
~Mark Hollick, Principal of Assabet Valley Regional High School of Massachusetts
Now we are working with parent groups all over the country to help give our free programs to your schools but we only are able to serve your children in your community with your help. Even if you only have little children who are not yet in middle school and high school, or have already graduated, remember the fact that drugs and violence affects your community and ultimately your family’s safety. Drugs exist in almost every community nowadays and it has truly been the parents of local communities like yours that have made the difference.
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
In just a little time you can:
*Help us indentify the key players of your town or city to introduce our free anti-drug anti-violence program
*Help get any students of middle schools or high schools interested
*Bring a program that has effectively reached teenagers of all backgrounds and problems in finally ending the epidemic of drugs and violence that plagues communities across America
Parents always say they want a better safer community for their kids… Now parents are proving it by taking a few minutes to send out some simple emails and making it a reality; you can choose to make a change!
FREE PROGRAMS WE CAN OFFER MIDDLE SCHOOL & HIGH SCHOOL KIDS IN YOUR CITY/TOWN
Local college students instructors follow our specially-designed 3 month curriculums to carry out 1 of 4 programs for youth in their area of interest and are screened for their mentoring ability and interest in one of the following jobs:
1) Martial Arts and Physical Fitness – Teaches martial arts and physical fitness; speaks out against violence and has career-readiness skills already built into it, helping youth organize priorities, study and plan for their future
2) Health and Wellness – Teaches basics of nutrition, healthy lifestyle of all age groups and disease-prevention
3) International Scholars – Teaches students with an interest in what’s going on in the world and how they can help. They explore different cultures around the world and learn about help indigenous nonprofits working overseas.
4) Business & Marketing – Students use principles of advertising, business and marketing skills in the real job world
*In return, college students may receive an internship for academic credit or a work-study in their school and will always have the invaluable added resume, real-life experience as serving as mentors to disenfranchised youth.
Who We Serve our Free Programs to: Youth Organizations and Public Schools
*All middle schools
*All high schools
*All public youth organizations
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
MAKING IT HAPPEN
1) These are the key players we ask parents to help us reach. Now the parent class instructor will ask each of you to choose a topic below A-E and usually we want at least 2 parents covering each part A-E. (please note A&B are the same part automatically together) So that means 2 parents for A, 2 parents for B, 2 parents for C and 2 for D.
Please take a minute and divide up each role, it is very easy work and each parent only needs to send out emails and make calls, there is no driving around involved.
A) ____ Superintendent / School Board Approval (varies district to district in the country) and Public school principal/youth organization director to acknowledge and welcome the free anti-drug anti-violence program to their site
*B) ____ Volunteer faculty leader at school/youth organization to mentor this in-school or afterschool program (a faculty member must be present during our classes at any site)
C) ____ College Partnership with our nonprofit to give college kids academic credit
D) ____ AOS College Instructors to run each individual program
*READ!!: For each program offered in-school or afterschool there must be another AOS instructor available and faculty member of the school to facilitate the program. In some cases there are faculty members OR parents of students in schools or youth groups that feel confident in carrying out 1 of our 4 programs without the aid of AOS college instructors. This is great and takes away the need of our volunteer instructors (for example, a physical education teacher may have martial arts background and want to carry out our Martial Arts program or a history teacher may want to run the International Scholars groups because they already teach current events and have a firm background). In this case, there is no need to go any further with any of this!! Just have that teacher email us at armyofsaints@
For parent groups and local leaders that help us implement our free program into your community protecting youth from further problems of drugs, bullying and violence we always publicize your help in our own media coverage giving you credit.
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
A. Superintendent and school board administration to welcome the program to their site
Contact the Superintendent and school board of the school or the leader of a youth nonprofit organization. From our vast experience, we advise emailing them first with the AOS literature our Board of Directors will provide you. If email fails to get a response, then go in person and have the AOS literature printed out to hand them. If you’re not sure what schools/youth organizations would be interested, simply do an email query. Create a list of emails of local youth nonprofits, middle school faculty and high school faculty and send them out every week; please retype or cut & paste the following and be sure to include your name at the bottom:
Hello,
I am a parent and am interested in working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in our community by suggesting a free program, Army of Saints 501(c)(3), to address these issues for our youth. Students and schools pay nothing. They are a youth-based nonprofit incorporating martial arts, physical fitness and health education in communities across the country – all 100% for free (). Their program is always free to youth and takes place inside both schools and youth sites in 3 month cycles. Programs include career-readiness and capacity-building for at-risk youth from all backgrounds, cultures and walks of life. I believe we have these issues of bullying, drugs, and lack of health awareness in our community.
To our Superintendent, we are asking you promote this free program that helps protect and empower our students. For principals, we ask if you can welcome this program into your school. All you need is one staff member of your site willing to be present for a couple hours at least 2 days a week afterschool or they could also work it into their curriculum during school. Then we make all of this a reality for our youth – for free! To find an interested faculty member, you may want to introduce this program to your faculty at the next faculty meeting and see who volunteers. If you agree these are also important issues and would like my support along with others who support this program please either them directly at armyofsaints@ requesting Board Members or simply let me know if you are interested and I will forward them your contact info.
Sincerely,
(Your name here)
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
B) Finding volunteer faculty leader at school/youth group to mentor this program
Parents are excellent helpers to help find one staff member who can be present at these classes at least 2 days a week afterschool.
B1) First, please talk about it with school faculty who you may already know in your area
B2) Second, you, a student, parent or faculty member can help identify the available faculty member of a school to facilitate this program by offering to do a fast 5 minute presentation for the next middle school or high school faculty meeting. This is an efficient way to let all the faculty know what exactly the programs are about and who would be willing to implement a specific program during the day or who would be willing (or already does) stay afterschool to help facilitate it.
Ask your parent director to hand you printouts of the paper called “Army of Saints’ Core Program Offerings”. Call up the school and ask if you may have 5 minutes of faculty’s time for this free anti-drug anti-violence program to handout the document “Army of Saints’ Core Program Offerings” and simply explaining the mission of eliminating drugs and violence in a city, increasing public health. Explain the free program can be afterschool OR in-school under the supervision of a faculty; if in-school students will automatically have to do it as part of a pre-existing class in the day.
When faculty asks how youth become informed and interested to join the program if it’s only offered afterschool: Faculty can make handouts or announce the new program and what day and times it will be offered once an AOS Instructor has given them their available times (or simply a faculty member’s best schedule if they are teaching our program alone). AOS Instructors/faculty also may try to coordinate motivational speaking seminars for kids during the day to introduce the program if the school’s schedule allows it.
At this point once a volunteer faculty member has been identified, ask them “Do you feel comfortable teaching this program alone for a group of students or do you need an AOS Instructor to teach it for you with your supervision?” If they do not need an AOS Instructor for this material, your part is done and email their city, school and contact info to armyofsaints@.
B3) Also ask around if there are faculty members OR local parents interested with strong enough backgrounds in an area they feel confident to teach the program in-school of afterschool without an AOS college instructor. If so, the program can begin immediately. Any interested willing parents should email armyofsaints@.
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
B4) Finding Principals/Vice Principals (save their emails for your table to fill in!)
Email the local principal, vice principal & guidance counselor of a school’ you MUST email the principal, if you can find the others email them too. Emailing the teachers is also a good idea!
Cut and paste the principal/superintendent this into their email (be sure to get whole message!) and ATTACH the documents just below called
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Army of Saints Core Program Offerings[powerpoint]
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Greeting Letter to All
Hello, I volunteer with a nonprofit and am interested in working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in your community by suggesting a free program, Army of Saints 501(c)(3), to address these issues for our youth. Students and schools pay nothing. They are a youth-based nonprofit incorporating martial arts, physical fitness and public heath education in communities across the country – all 100% for free (). Their program is always free to youth and takes place inside both schools and youth sites in 3 month cycles. Programs include career-readiness and capacity-building for at-risk youth from all backgrounds, cultures and walks of life. I believe we have these issues of bullying, drugs, and lack of health awareness in our community. This program combats these issues.
For our principals, we want you to welcome this program into your school. All you need is one staff member of your site willing to be present for a couple hours 2-3 days a week afterschool or a teacher can also choose to work it into their daily curriculum during school. The easiest way to do this is to simply find a teacher that is already afterschool for another program (i.e. a math tutor already afterschool in a nearby classroom) so they are in the same basic vicinity of our instructor working with the group of kids interested in participating in this free afterschool program. To find an interested faculty member, you may want to introduce this program to your faculty at the next faculty meeting and see who volunteers. Army of Saints uses either a motivational speaking seminar or teacher flyers to give to students in homeroom in the morning to introduce this new program; then we begin this 12 week program, typically for 10-15 youth afterschool. If you agree bullying, drugs and public health are important issues and would like my support along with others who support this program please either them directly at armyofsaints@ requesting Board Members or simply let me know if you are interested and I will forward them your contact info.
Here’s testimonials about our work motivating youth; we have been to over 100 schools:
“The students were on the edge of their seats and were focused on your message against drugs and violence. I really feel that your combination of youth, speaking skills, and positive message were a perfect connection to make an impact on our students.”
~Mark Hollick Principal of Assabet Valley Regional Technical High School
“I believe that your group does provide a positive influence on kids of all ages… I believe that your program show kids of all ages that anything is possible when you approach it with a positive attitude” ~Detective Gary Hagerty of Lynn Police Department
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Volunteer Team
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
C1) Finding 1 college near your city
(save the college emails you will find for your table to fill in!)
College students actually get their own academic class credit for running our 12 week programs for kids in their city. You must find AT LEAST 1 in the general area.
C2) For each college, go to their website and find their “Career Services” department (or call and ask for it) and send us their email address. If you CANNOT find their email address…. call them and say “I am a volunteer of our nonprofit and we want to be listed as one of the local business employers for your college students so they can get work experience with a nonprofit. I’d like to send you some literature if I could get your email address”. Write down that email address in Table 1!
Once you get the email of the college’s “career services” department, cut and paste the box below into the email and ATTACH the documents just below called
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Army of Saints Core Program Offerings[powerpoint]
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Greeting Letter to All
(1)~~~TO COLLEGES- AOS FAQ
Hello, I am a local volunteer of my group and am helping grow a new program working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in our community called Army of Saints 501(c)(3), who addresses these issues for our youth. We are a free community school-based program which your college students can work as an intern and receive academic credit for 12 weeks in a local middle school or high school carrying out one of four curriculums: 1) Martial arts & physical fitness; 2) Health & Wellness; 3)International Current Events and 4) Marketing & Business. ANY college student can teach ANY curriculum. We set up our curriculum so that your college students can get academic credit, usually enough to equal 1 semester’s class because it is a considerable amount of work (5-15 hours a week) along with experience in mentoring and educating youth; invaluable resume and networking experience!
Thank you for this opportunity. Please forward the website links for our nonprofit to register as a local business your Career Services can use; we will give this info to our Board at armyofsaints@ or you can send it to them directly; we are happy to give this opportunity to your college students and partner with your college!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Team
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
C3) Now for each college you chose, this is the time consuming part. Each department sometimes has a “Career Service Learning Center” which is DIFFERENT than the Career Service Department you found in step D2; it is specialized and unique to the each college’s department (i.e. Math, Science, Engineering, etc). First, we need you to call each college’s department during school hours (usually 8:00am-5:00pm Monday-Friday). The easiest way to do this is to get on their website and keep clicking on different departments – a phone number will be listed with each department (for example the phone number to the English department). Once you call each specific department and someone answers the phone, please read the script in the box below:
Hi, I’m a local volunteer of my nonprofit Army of Saints 501(c)(3); we’re a program working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in our community for our youth. We’re a free community school-based program which your college students can work as an intern and receive academic credit for 12 weeks in a local middle school or high school carrying out one of four curriculums. We’re already in the process of registering with your college’s Career Services, they suggested reaching out to your “Career Service Learning Center” or someone who specifically handles placements for academic internships within your department. I had some literature I wanted to email the Director of your “Career Service Learning Center” so if I could get their email, that would be great!
When someone from the Career Service Learning Center answers the phone read this script:
Hi, I’m a local volunteer of my nonprofit Army of Saints 501(c)(3); we’re a program working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in our community for our youth using college students as afterschool instructors to run for our 12 week programs in a local middle school or high school carrying out one of four curriculums: 1) Martial arts & physical fitness; 2) Health & Wellness; 3)International Current Events and 4) Marketing & Business. They usually use this academic internship to fill an academic class, usually an elective freshman or sophomore year. ANY college student can teach ANY curriculum and they receive academic credit, usually enough to equal 1 semester’s class; this is open to undergrad and grad students. College students go to a local school and actually teach high school youth afterschool a couple days a week. It also builds their experience in leading, mentoring and educating youth. We were wondering if we could email you literature directly on the open positions we had available.
(If they DO have a Career Service Learning Center, than GET THAT PERSON’S EMAIL and email them the box on the page of step C4!
(You also need to email every professor of EACH department (i.e. each teacher in biology, psychology, math, etc) in step C4!
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
C3 continued) For this college we need you to write down the addresses in Table 1 in the category labeled for “from step 3C” for the “career service learning center” AND the CHAIR of each department! Look for the word “Chair” after a professor’s name. That means you will likely have 10-15 emails listed in this column C3 and that is okay.
***In column C3 please include the name of EACH chair of the EACH department in the college!
Please cut and paste this electronic table to us at armyofsaints@ with the name of the college in the heading
TABLE 1
(from step A) (from step A) (from steps B) (from step C1 and C2) (from step C3)
|CITY, STATE AND MIDDLE SCHOOL |CITY’S SUPERINTENDENT |HIGH SCHOOL / MIDDLE SCHOOL |*AT LEAST 1 COLLEGE |EACH COLLEGE DEPARTMENT’S CHAIR |
|OR HIGH SCHOOL NAME |(his phone and email) |PRINCIPAL EMAIL & PHONE & IF | |OR DIRECTOR OF “CAREER SERVICE |
| | |POSSIBLE THE VOLUNTEER STAFF |LOCAL COLLEGE NAME AND THEIR CAREER|LEARNING CENTER” AND THEIR EMAIL |
| | |TEACHER WHO WILL STAY |SERVICE’S EMAIL & PHONE |& PHONE |
| | |AFTERSCHOOL | | |
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
C4) Once you record all these emails for step C3, then you will email everyone’s email (including Career Service Learning Center). For each email you send out cut and paste the large box below into the email and ATTACH these 3 documents. Remember, you’re emailing literally EVERY professor of this college, not only the Chairs of each department but everyone
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Army of Saints Core Program Offerings[powerpoint]
(1)~~~TO EVERYONE - Greeting Letter to All
(1)~~~TO COLLEGES- AOS FAQ
Hello, I am a local volunteer of my group and am helping grow a new program working to prevent drugs, violence, bullying and disease in our community called Army of Saints 501(c)(3), who addresses these issues for our youth. We are a free community school-based program which your college students can work as an intern and receive academic credit for 12 weeks in a local middle school or high school carrying out one of four curriculums: 1) Martial arts & physical fitness; 2) Health & Wellness; 3)International Current Events and 4) Marketing & Business. ANY college student can teach ANY curriculum. We set up our curriculum so that your college students can get academic credit, usually enough to equal 1 semester’s class because it is a considerable amount of work (5-15 hours a week) along with experience in mentoring and educating youth; invaluable resume and networking experience! They usually use this academic internship to fill an academic class elective freshman or sophomore year.
We are reaching out to your own Career Service Learning Center for your department or anyone that handles placements for academic internships for students in your program. We also find students by professors who tell them about this academic internship possibility in their own classes; many local college students have actually tried to bring these programs to their old high schools! This is a wonderful success! The main job posting is listed below we are hoping you can share and email to students in your program and have your faculty talk about with students in their classes! Please email us back at armyofsaints@ as we have many opportunities in your area for college students. I attached a few important documents explaining what we offer!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Team ()
Job Posting 1) College Student Instructors and Mentors for Youth
Looking for college student interns to teach one of our four different 12 week curriculums during a semester at a local high school or youth organization during afterschool 2-4 days a week of times and days of your choice to meet your schedule. You will receive a full academic class elective of credits and be placed at a local high school or youth group within 15 minutes of your college. Each curriculum is well laid out for you to teach with our guidance. Any college student can teach any curriculum but for the Martial Arts Physical Fitness curriculum you must have a martial arts background! Email us your name and college and this job posting title at armyofsaints@ if interested.
*Business and Marketing *Public Health and Wellness
*International Current Events *Martial Arts Physical Fitness with Career Readiness
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
D) Let’s find college instructors (maybe YOU know some kids in college already!)
Think of anyone you know in college in these 10 areas you chose that want to receive free college credits for volunteering as an instructor for our program. Ask around on Facebook. If you know no one, just follow the simple instructions below to find a local college student in each of the 10 cities you chose for those colleges and fill out the info in Table 2 below:
Martial Arts Program College Instructors: Go on the college’s website and find the link for “student clubs”, search for directors of martial arts student clubs. Also Google local martial arts schools in the city & go to the websites and email the directors. You can also use this as a script to say aloud and call local martial arts school; or cut & paste this in an email:
Hi, I volunteer for a 501(c)(3) nonprofit called Army of Saints () and am looking to find college instructors for our anti-drug anti-violence martial arts program in your city. College students will be awarded academic class credits for helping teach our 12 week program a couple days a week afterschool for a local middle school or high school. This is an internship to build experience and strengthen resumes for future jobs. They get to choose the days and times they teach. If you have college students interested, please send me their email & phone numbers! You may also find more students to join your school or group by advertising this great opportunity. Thanks!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Volunteer Team Please email me back the emails interested students!
Health & Wellness College Instructors: Go on the college’s website and find the link for “student clubs”, search for student directors of medical/nursing student clubs & cut and paste:
Hi, I volunteer for a 501(c)(3) nonprofit called Army of Saints () and am looking to find college instructors for our anti-drug public health program in your city. College students will be awarded academic class credits for helping teach our 12 week program a couple days a week afterschool for a local middle school or high school. They get to choose the days and times they teach. This is an internship to build experience and strengthen resumes for future jobs. If you have college students interested, please send me their email & phone numbers! Thanks!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Volunteer Team Please email me back the emails interested students!
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Class 8: Bringing Our Free Anti-drug Anti-violence Programs to Your Community for Your Children
D continued) Find college instructors
International Scholars College Instructors: Go on the college’s website and find international-based student groups like Red Cross, United Nations, Action Against Poverty, etc. and cut and paste this to the student leader of the student club:
Hi, I volunteer for a 501(c)(3) nonprofit called Army of Saints () and am looking to find college instructors for our international currents events program in your city. College students will be awarded academic class credits for helping teach our 12 week program a couple days a week afterschool for a local middle school or high school. They get to choose the days and times they teach. This is an internship to build experience and strengthen resumes for future jobs. If you have college students interested, please send me their email & phone numbers! Thanks!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Volunteer Team Please email me back the emails interested students!
Marketing & Business Crew College Instructors: Go on the college’s website and find the link for “student clubs” and look for business, marketing, advertising, entrepreneurship student clubs and cut and paste this to the student leader of each student club:
Hi, I volunteer for a 501(c)(3) nonprofit called Army of Saints () and am looking to find college instructors for our business & marketing program in your city. College students will be awarded academic class credits for helping teach our 12 week program a couple days a week afterschool for a local middle school or high school. They get to choose the days and times they teach. This is an internship to build experience and strengthen resumes for future jobs. If you have college students interested, please send me their email & phone numbers! Thanks!
Sincerely,
Army of Saints Volunteer Team Please email me back the emails interested students!
*Even if you do not hear back from Student Director of Student Clubs, then just email us the Student Club Director’s email and we’ll take care of it and re-contact them again. You already did your part by emailing them!
TABLE 2 – Email this table to armyofsaints@ with the college name in the subject line!
|College’s City/State |College Name |College Student Name |Our Program of Interest they may |
| | |& Email & Phone |teach (i.e. Martial arts class, |
| | | |etc) |
| | | | |
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Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children
The situation of laws and legal details of losing, having or regaining custody of children is a very complicated subject as there are different rules going from state to state. However, there are some generalities that generally apply everywhere. In this informational piece, try to listen and learn as much as you can, but ultimately ask a lawyer if you have questions about your specific situation. Even if you are not in this situation and think you never will be, this is still something important to learn so you can pass on info to other parents in this potential situation.
UNDERSTANDING CUSTODY
Joint physical custody – A child lives with both parents and each parent is a “custodial parent”; this results from a court ruling that decides BOTH parents have custody of the child
*Not all places need a “joint physical custody” order to have equal sharing time of child between parents; this is something that varies from state to state
Third Party Custody – A child does not live with either biological parent but lives with another guardian
Split Custody – One parent has total custody over one child and the other parent has total custody over the other child
Sole Custody – Only one parent has complete custody over their child
Bird’s nest custody – A more unique form of custody where each parent must travel to a single location where the child lives to live with the child (the child never needs to move anywhere)
Alternating Custody – The child lives for long periods of time with one parent, then the other. While they live with each parent, it is that particular parent that has custody over them at that time period
Source: )
DIVORCE PROCESS
Uncontested Divorce – When both parents are able to come to a solution and the judge almost always allows it
Simple Divorce – This process applies to a couple with no major assets, no children and less than 5 years married
Collaborative Divorce – When attorneys act mediators trying to bring an agreement without actually going to court
Mediated Divorce – Very similar to collaborative divorce but here the chief mediator is not a lawyer; this is cheaper
LENGTH OF DIVORCE PROCESS
*This changes greatly state to state and depends on the couple’s individual circumstances
*In Massachusetts for example, the legal effect of “dissolution” takes places 90-120 days after the ruling
Source:
FACTS AROUND DIVORCE
*Generally the longer 2 people wait to be married the less likely they are to be divorced in the future
*Education seems to have an effect on trends; the more highly educated couples are, the less likely for divorce
*Those not finishing high school have higher rates of divorce and risk for divorce in the future
Luscombe, Belinda (2010). "Divorcing by the Numbers". New York, New York: Time. Retrieved from .
*Democratic states statistically have lower rates of teenage pregnancy and divorce
Source: Red Families Vs. Blue Families : NPR. (n.d.). NPR : National Public Radio : News & Analysis, World, US, Music & Arts : NPR. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from
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Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children
FACTORS TOWARDS GETTING CUSTODY OF A CHILD
To truly know what your situation is in getting custody over your children you should talk to a lawyer. However, these are factors that are almost always considered in the entire picture.
*Has a parent lied or stolen from the other parent
*Remember special rules always apply to parents actively serving in the military
*A parent’s ability to financially and emotionally support the child
*The desire of who the child is sometimes considered and this factor varies greatly state to state (around 12 years old)
*Dynamics of change for a child that may need to relocate or start school somewhere else
*The desires of each parent and how well they will support a nurturing relationship with the child and other parent
*If a child has physical or mental disabilities, which parent has more ability to take care of these special needs
*Individual parent backgrounds (i.e. violence in domestic disputes, substance abuse, neglect, etc)
Source: Getting Custody FAQ - FindLaw. (n.d.). Family Law - FindLaw. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from
SHIFT OF GENDER BALANCE
*In years past, custody was normally given to the mother; today this is no longer true
*Custody is never “assumed” to be either parent, but an intelligent weighted decision on what each parent could offer
*In extreme domestic disputes or breakdowns, it is typically the father that may move out of the house for a short period of time; temporarily moving out can affect one’s ability to have custody down the road
*Fathers have just a good chance of winning custody as mothers, all other factors considered equal; sometimes fathers may assume custody needs to go to the mother based on her simply being the mother, this is not always true
OTHER FACTORS
*Being gay or lesbian as a parent, in some states, is not even allowed to be considered in court rulings; n other states, there are no laws clearly defining this and there is more ambiguity as to how it may affect court’s decision in the end
*Race today absolutely cannot have any impact on the legal ruling of custody battles per decision of the Supreme Court *In cases of one parent maliciously using the child as a means towards revenge of the parent without custody, there have been legal problems finding the parent with custody purposely chooses near-impossible visiting hours for the other parent who is likely working a full-time job; they need to take this situation to the court or a lawyer
Source: Getting Custody FAQ - FindLaw. (n.d.). Family Law - FindLaw. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from
WHO TO TALK TO ABOUT CUSTODY CHANGES
*While there are pre-determined criteria for when and how to change custody from state to state, it is important to remember nothing is etched in stone. For example, if a mother wins custody of the children, but a year later has several DUI drunk driving charges and loses her job, this paints a whole new picture
*There are “Modification Cases” that serve to change custody terms, for major and minor reasons. For instance, changing a certain day you want to see you child every year on their birthday is a minor change; a major change would be if you are now asking for total custody.
*There is always a preliminary hearing (i.e. Adequate Case hearing) to see if the parents has grounds to make change
Source:
Public Handout Page -
Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children
RESTRAINING ORDERS
*A restraining order keeps an individual that is believed to be a harasser or abuser away from you and possibly certain areas like your home or workplace. It can include phone or internet contact as well as keeping them from your family.
*These are civil orders and do NOT result in giving anyone a criminal record or history
*Often those who seek it to have a restraining order are victims of domestic violence or abuse
*Common acts resulting in this include assault, battery, stalking, lewd conduct, sexual harassment, terrorist threats, false imprisonment, kidnapping, vandalism or burglary
*The abuser can even be ordered to leave their own house or apartment, even if it is legally in their name
*Often if you have children with this person, they may have to pay child support to you until the order is removed
*Police will often supervise contact if the abuser needs to get their things from the house or workplace
*Some states can require the abuser to pay for any legal fees that resulted from their actions (i.e. medical bills)
*The initial order in the very beginning is a TRO or temporary restraining order; most states within 10 days from this will have a court date that the person filing the restraining order and the abuser it is against will have to show up
*For those who have filed restraining orders, it is always a good idea to keep a copy of it with you
*If you want to make a criminal charge out of a case that you only got a restraining order from, you have the right to go to your local police department and try to make a case for pressing criminal charges regarding the incident
*The source listed below further goes into details of what warrants a “restraining order” in each state of the US
Source:
GENERAL TIPS FOR TRYING TO GET CUSTODY OR MAKE A CHANGE IN CUSTODY
*Employment is a key factor to show you have a stable way to support yourself and children
*Not paying child support generally hurts any future changes that can work to your favor
*Proof of counseling or self-betterment such as going to AA for alcoholics will work in your favor
*Proof of your child having a good relationship with you during their time with you will work in your favor
*Not violating any restraining orders of any kind will work in your favor
DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES (AND CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES) AKA DSS
*A Department of Children and Family Services exists in every state of the US but now under different names in each state, for example Massachusetts has DCF (Department of Children and Families)
*In 2009, there were over 2.5 million cases of “child maltreatment” reported to child protective services in the US
*They all function to protect children from abuse and neglect and serve as “evaluators” in many cases to report on progress individual families may be making in different situations under different court hearings
*The “DSS” of your state does not have the right to legally change custodial conditions or status; this is for the courts and the judge to do; however, they may be called into the courts to present the information they have on situations
*The “DSS” of your state plays a large role in care and evaluation of foster children of your state
*Many families working with DSS agencies do have their children living in their home
*These groups can help offer counseling about housing and welfare issues
*These groups help closely regulate laws and cases revolving around adoption
Source: States. (n.d.). Statistics & Research. Administration for Children and Families. Retrieved February 26, 2012, from
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children, no names, hand out at beginning of class
1. What is split custody?
A) When one parent has all the custody
B) When a friend outside the family has custody of the child
C) When both parents have full custody of one child
D) When one parent has custody over one child and the other parent has custody over the other child
2. What is a mediated divorce?
A) There is no such thing
B) It is when a lawyer serves as the middle man helping each parent comes to an agreement and is expensive
C) It is when a certified mediator (but not a lawyer) serves as middle man helping each parent come to an agreement
D) None of the above
3. What is true about trends in divorce?
A) The longer two people wait, the more likely they are to stay married compared to those who marry very fast
B) More educated people tend to stay together longer than uneducated people
C) In recent years, liberal states show lower rates of teen pregnancy and divorce then conservative states
D) All of the above
4. When it comes to getting custody of a child and what the child wants…
A) The courts will never consider a child’s desire
B) The courts will always consider a child’s desire, regardless of age
C) The courts will take this into account, usually if the child is 12 or older
D) The courts will take this into account, usually if the child is 6 or older
5. What is true today of the court system awarding custody to a parent?
A) They heavily favor mothers in all cases
B) They heavily favor fathers in all cases
C) They make weighted decisions based on the situation of each the father and the mother
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children, no names, hand out at beginning of class
6. When it comes to changing custody of a child…
A) Custody can never be changed
B) Custody changes are fast and take place in a single day
C) Custody changes start with one parent filling out the appropriate paperwork and getting an initial hearing date
D) Custody changes start with requesting a custody change in your local police department
7. Restraining orders…
A) Are a civil order not resulting in a criminal record
B) Automatically give someone a criminal record if the restraining order is approved by the judge
C) Police are not required to uphold them after 30 days in all cases
D) None of the above
8. What is it called when someone other than the biological parents & family have custody of the children?
A) Friend of Family Custody
B) Joint Custody
C) Role Model Custody
D) Third Party Custody
9. Department of Social Services (aka Child Protective Services)
A) Has the right to legally change custodial status
B) Has the right to create and enforce restraining orders
C) Has the responsibility to monitor children of abuse or neglect and keep them safe
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE about reports of child abuse in the US?
A) In 2009 there were over 2.5 million cases reported in the US
B) In 2009 there were 10 million cases reported in the US
C) In 2009 there were virtually no cases reported in the US
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children, no names, hand out at end of class
1. What is split custody?
A) When one parent has all the custody
B) When a friend outside the family has custody of the child
C) When both parents have full custody of one child
D) When one parent has custody over one child and the other parent has custody over the other child
2. What is a mediated divorce?
A) There is no such thing
B) It is when a lawyer serves as the middle man helping each parent comes to an agreement and is expensive
C) It is when a certified mediator (but not a lawyer) serves as middle man helping each parent come to an agreement
D) None of the above
3. What is true about trends in divorce?
A) The longer two people wait, the more likely they are to stay married compared to those who marry very fast
B) More educated people tend to stay together longer than uneducated people
C) In recent years, liberal states show lower rates of teen pregnancy and divorce then conservative states
D) All of the above
4. When it comes to getting custody of a child and what the child wants…
A) The courts will never consider a child’s desire
B) The courts will always consider a child’s desire, regardless of age
C) The courts will take this into account, usually if the child is 12 or older
D) The courts will take this into account, usually if the child is 6 or older
5. What is true today of the court system awarding custody to a parent?
A) They heavily favor mothers in all cases
B) They heavily favor fathers in all cases
C) They make weighted decisions based on the situation of each the father and the mother
D) All of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children, no names, hand out at end of class
6. When it comes to changing custody of a child…
A) Custody can never be changed
B) Custody changes are fast and take place in a single day
C) Custody changes start with one parent filling out the appropriate paperwork and getting an initial hearing date
D) Custody changes start with requesting a custody change in your local police department
7. Restraining orders…
A) Are a civil order not resulting in a criminal record
B) Automatically give someone a criminal record if the restraining order is approved by the judge
C) Police are not required to uphold them after 30 days in all cases
D) None of the above
8. What is it called when someone other than the biological parents & family have custody of the children?
A) Friend of Family Custody
B) Joint Custody
C) Role Model Custody
D) Third Party Custody
9. Department of Social Services (aka Child Protective Services)
A) Has the right to legally change custodial status
B) Has the right to create and enforce restraining orders
C) Has the responsibility to monitor children of abuse or neglect and keep them safe
D) All of the above
10. Which statement is TRUE about reports of child abuse in the US?
A) In 2009 there were over 2.5 million cases reported in the US
B) In 2009 there were 10 million cases reported in the US
C) In 2009 there were virtually no cases reported in the US
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
QUIZ ANSWERS, Class 9: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children
1. What is split custody?
ANSWER – D
2. What is a mediated divorce?
ANSWER – C
3. What is true about trends in divorce?
ANSWER – D
4. When it comes to getting custody of a child and what the child wants…
ANSWER – C
5. What is true today of the court system awarding custody to a parent?
ANSWER – C
6. When it comes to changing custody of a child…
ANSWER – C
7. Restraining orders…
ANSWER – A
8. What is it called when someone other than the biological parents & family have custody of the children? ANSWER – D
9. Department of Social Services (aka Child Protective Services)
ANSWER - C
10. Which statement is TRUE about reports of child abuse in the US?
ANSWER – A
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
Class Discussion: Laws & Legalities for Custody of Children
1) Discuss what parents feel about the current situation of child custody? Do they feel that one parent should have control of the visiting hours?
2) What are factors that may lead to why the US has the highest divorce rating over countries?
3) How do parents feel about parent’s gender balances for custody and treatment by the courts? Does anyone have stories that may show how one parent was favored more than the others?
4) Does anyone have experiences trying to get or change custody of children they want to share?
5) What are people’s thoughts about Department of Social Services for protecting children’s rights? Do they feel they are doing a good job?
Public Handout Page -
Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected
Divorce is becoming a more common thing over the last several decades in the US and many developed countries. The situation of divorce affects children greatly and it is important to look at psychosocial effects on different age children and different kinds of divorce. It also effects the entire family dynamic now and into the future.
STATISTICS AROUND DIVORCE
In 2009, the was roughly 2,077,000 divorces in the country with a marriage rate of about 7 in 1,000 people. The divorce rate was about 3.5 people per 1,000 (of 44 states reporting current statistics). That means the divorce rate is half of the marriage rate, suggesting 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. This number is huge calling to fact that the development of a child or teenager should be well understood by parents in the communities.
Source: FASTSTATS - Marriage and Divorce. (n.d.). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved February 29, 2012, from .
PSYCHOSOCIAL EFFECTS ON BABIES/ TODDLERS
*Most babies by 1 year old should recognize parents vs. strangers through their actions
*Babies cannot comprehend the concept of divorce
*They do know a change in who is primarily taking care of them and some research even suggests they can sense the emotions of their parents.
*Toddlers certainly have behavioral changes that are starkly different from being with parents vs. total strangers *Toddlers cognitively understand when one parent is gone
*It is often for a toddler to regress when one of their parents leave the house (i.e. toilet training regressing back to diapers)
*You may see more GI problems like spitting up, diarrhea or constipation (however, never assume this is due to divorce, there could be an actual medical problem so if there are obvious changes, take them to your doctor)
What a parent can do for this age: Keep a very normal routine for them, never use a raised voice or show tension, allow both parents to have contact with them, be sure to spend a lot of time with the child, for toddlers you must set firm limits on how far they regress
PSYCHOSOCIAL EFFECTS ON PRESCHOOL CHILDREN
*These children between 3-6 years old understand a parent is missing and may have regression in their development
*Regression signs can include wanting a pacifier or carrying around a toy from when they were a toddler
*Some regression acts are innate methods to maintain security
*A major distinction with preschool children is they have fear that they did something wrong to cause this to happen and also that the other parent may leave them again.
*Preschoolers cannot easily distinguish what is real and imaginary; they often will imagine about the other parent coming back
What a parent can do for this age: Parents should try to have their child talk about their feelings and ask as many questions as they want, try to have the child take up a healthy hobby to share with them like painting or soccer. They also can continually reassure their child it is not their fault. Parents should tell the children’s teachers at preschool.
Public Handout Page -
Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected
PSYCHOSOCIAL EFFECTS ON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN
*Children 5-9 years old very much understand that their parents no longer want to be together
*These children can show an array of emotions ranging from betrayed to sadness to anger at the parent who left
*Their schoolwork may be poor and they may struggle to perform the same
*Watch for signs of depression with sleep pattern changes, physical illness, crying, loss of interest in activities
*These kids may fear of not being taken care of or picked up on time by parents
*There may be increased outbursts or temper tantrums depending on the child
What a parent can do for this age: Encourage children to talk about their feelings not only with the parents but also friends of family. They need to have a second voice hearing them. Parents should take it upon themselves to talk to the child’s teacher and explain the situation.
Source: author., t. (n.d.). Divorce Matters A Child's View. NNCC Homepage. Retrieved February 29, 2012, from
PRETEENS AND TEENS
*These children often are angry and have other relationships affected because they develop a lack of trust
*This group from age 10-18 may strongly critique the parents divorce and more vocally express anger
*These children may more dangerously act-out through risk-taking behavior like stealing, not going to school or doing schoolwork, trying drugs or becoming sexually-active
*In more extreme reactions in depression or anger, some teens may threaten suicide
*Some may align strongly with one parent, others may feel very guilty for only being with one and not equally both
What a parent can do for this age: Parents of preteens and teens must be very vigilant in monitoring the emotions and reactions of these children because they are at increased risk to more independently try dangerous things. They also should be offered a lot of time with each parent in the beginning of the divorce process (provided the divorce is not due to one parent being dangerous) to avoid problems like alignment with one parent or feeling guilty from not having equal time with both parents. They should keep established routines and continue to respect whatever house rules pre-existed. They also should not have children used as filling in empty gaps as “friends” when the parent leaves.
FACTORS AFFECTING THE DIVORCE PROCESS
*How many things a child loses during divorce; kids are very good at remembering what they’ve lost
*Changes as a direct result of the divorce; these things may include relocating to a new house, new school, new family members that may be living in the house as a result of the divorce
*How well a child can cognitively understand divorce
*One of the greatest factors is how the parents handle the divorce and how much fighting occurs in front of the kids
*Parental coping methods have direct outcomes on how well children cope; for example if coping results in substance abuse with a single parent, this is very different from a parent that takes up jogging or yoga to cope
*How well parents reach out to outside help to guide them through challenges like financial support, coping skills, etc
*Source:
Public Handout Page -
Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected
PREVENTING PROBLEMS THROUGH THE PARENTS
*It is very difficult to be overwhelmed during the divorce process as a parent, but they are the primary key in setting the tone for the setting the mood, atmosphere and environment the child lives in
*While some children may have temper tantrums or act regardless, much of this can be lessened or avoided by parent whom avoid dealing with divorce in negative ways
Parents can use the following tips week to week to take care of themselves and their children:
1) Do something (or continue what you have done in the past) that is both healthy and makes you happy. For some single parents it will be running, yoga, poetry, reading, playing music while doing nothing else. This is an activity you should do at least 20-30 minutes a day for yourself.
2) Choose your top 3 priorities of what you are most worried about since the divorce. Common examples include making money to support family, a car, mortgage, depression of you or your children, fatigue from perhaps working extra or the divorce process in general, how well your child does in school, etc. Whatever the 3 things, find an expert to call or talk to briefly addressing each, usually a free phone call to somewhere (accountant for money questions, a psychologist for child development questions, etc).
3) Manage your time and money. Create a monthly budget sheet of what the cash flow situation in your house looks like now that you are living alone and how much child support may end up being. Manage your time by developing strong routine schedules every day; this will also help your children!
4) Manage your emotions. Don’t say negative things about your ex in front of children and when you do feel the need, just talk to a friend or another adult in your family, but not the children.
5) NEVER restrict communication with their other parent (unless there were severely dangerous circumstances requiring a restraining order for the kids towards the other parent). It is important a child can call them when they want and see them in person every week, especially in the first year.
6) Eat right and exercise; make sure your children eat right and exercise as well so no one’s health suffers.
7) Always repeat to yourself “This can be a new beginning”. Because it the end, that is what it is.
8) Develop one day a week where something you do is very fun with your children whether they are 8 or 18 it does not matter, time is time. It can be a movie night or a night they learn to cook or bake a new food with you, etc.
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected, no names, hand out at beginning of class
1. In 2009 there were….
A) Over 2 million divorces in the US with 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce
B) Over 1 million divorces in the US with 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce
C) Over 500,000 divorces in the US
D) Over 100,000 divorces in the US
2. If you have a divorce and your toddler who normally uses the toilet goes back to using diapers this means
A) They need to see a doctor right away
B) They need to be yelled at every time to discipline them
C) It is perfectly normal to see them regress and you can ask your healthcare provider best ways to deal with it
D) You should ignore this change, it does not concern you
3. What is true about preschool children in the divorce process?
A) They may fear they did something wrong to make the other parent leave
B) They can have signs of regression in their behavior, just like toddlers
C) They may fantasize about the other parent magically coming back because they do not understand reality like us
D) All of the above
4. What is true about elementary school children in the divorce process?
A) Watch for signs of depression with sleep pattern changes, physical illness, crying, loss of interest in activities
B) They do not really notice divorce
C) They may fantasize about the other parent magically coming back because they do not understand reality like us
D) All of the above
5. What should a parent do regarding their children’s education?
A) For most children, especially younger children, tell teachers up front their child is experiencing a divorce
B) For teenagers only, tell teachers up front their child is experiencing a divorce
C) For teenagers only, NEVER tell teachers their child is experiencing a divorce even if it affects their schoolwork
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
PRE-QUIZ Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected, no names, hand out at beginning of class
6. What is some risk-taking behaviors teens may act out through during a parent’s divorce?
A) Becoming sexually-active
B) Attempting to steal or try drugs
C) Getting into fights or doing poorly in school
D) All of the above
7. If a parent starts to feel lonely after a divorce…
A) They should not have their children used as filling in empty gaps as “friends” when the other parent leaves
B) They should have their children used as filling in empty gaps as “friends” when the other parent leaves
C) They should befriend both their children and children’s friends and remove the “parent” boundary
D) None of the above
8. Which statement is true about risk factors to how well the child handles a divorce?
A) A big risk factor is how the parents handle the divorce and how much fighting occurs in front of the kids
B) A big risk factor is how many new clothes the child can have
C) A big risk factor is how well the parent can cook
D) All of the above
9. One major tip in dealing with divorce is
A) Having a healthy hobby to do 20 minutes a day to keep your mind clear
B) Eating extra junk food
C) Learning to ignore your worries
D) Share your fears and worries with your child and ask them to guide you
10. Which statement is TRUE about letting your child communicate with the other parent?
A) They should have no communication
B) They should be able to talk to them at least twice a year
C) Only the other parent that left can decide all this
D) They child should be able to contact them in person every week and even encouraged to do so
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected, no names, hand out at end of class
1. In 2009 there were….
A) Over 2 million divorces in the US with 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce
B) Over 1 million divorces in the US with 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce
C) Over 500,000 divorces in the US
D) Over 100,000 divorces in the US
2. If you have a divorce and your toddler who normally uses the toilet goes back to using diapers this means
A) They need to see a doctor right away
B) They need to be yelled at every time to discipline them
C) It is perfectly normal to see them regress and you can ask your healthcare provider best ways to deal with it
D) You should ignore this change, it does not concern you
3. What is true about preschool children in the divorce process?
A) They may fear they did something wrong to make the other parent leave
B) They can have signs of regression in their behavior, just like toddlers
C) They may fantasize about the other parent magically coming back because they do not understand reality like us
D) All of the above
4. What is true about elementary school children in the divorce process?
A) Watch for signs of depression with sleep pattern changes, physical illness, crying, loss of interest in activities
B) They do not really notice divorce
C) They may fantasize about the other parent magically coming back because they do not understand reality like us
D) All of the above
5. What should a parent do regarding their children’s education?
A) For most children, especially younger children, tell teachers up front their child is experiencing a divorce
B) For teenagers only, tell teachers up front their child is experiencing a divorce
C) For teenagers only, NEVER tell teachers their child is experiencing a divorce even if it affects their schoolwork
D) None of the above
Public Handout Page -
POST-QUIZ Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected, no names, hand out at end of class
6. What is some risk-taking behaviors teens may act out through during a parent’s divorce?
A) Becoming sexually-active
B) Attempting to steal or try drugs
C) Getting into fights or doing poorly in school
D) All of the above
7. If a parent starts to feel lonely after a divorce…
A) They should not have their children used as filling in empty gaps as “friends” when the other parent leaves
B) They should have their children used as filling in empty gaps as “friends” when the other parent leaves
C) They should befriend both their children and children’s friends and remove the “parent” boundary
D) None of the above
8. Which statement is true about risk factors to how well the child handles a divorce?
A) A big risk factor is how the parents handle the divorce and how much fighting occurs in front of the kids
B) A big risk factor is how many new clothes the child can have
C) A big risk factor is how well the parent can cook
D) All of the above
9. One major tip in dealing with divorce is
A) Having a healthy hobby to do 20 minutes a day to keep your mind clear
B) Eating extra junk food
C) Learning to ignore your worries
D) Share your fears and worries with your child and ask them to guide you
10. Which statement is TRUE about letting your child communicate with the other parent?
A) They should have no communication
B) They should be able to talk to them at least twice a year
C) Only the other parent that left can decide all this
D) They child should be able to contact them in person every week and even encouraged to do so
Public Handout Page -
QUIZ ANSWERS, Class 10: Divorce and How a Child is Affected
1. In 2009 there were….
ANSWER – A
2. If you have a divorce and your toddler who normally uses the toilet goes back to using diapers this means ANSWER – C
3. What is true about preschool children in the divorce process?
ANSWER – D
4. What is true about elementary school children in the divorce process?
ANSWER – C
5. What should a parent do regarding their children’s education?
ANSWER – A
6. What is some risk-taking behaviors teens may act out through during a parent’s divorce?
ANSWER – D
7. If a parent starts to feel lonely after a divorce…
ANSWER – A
8. Which statement is true about risk factors to how well the child handles a divorce?
ANSWER – A
9. One major tip in dealing with divorce is
ANSWER - A
10. Which statement is TRUE about letting your child communicate with the other parent?
ANSWER – D
TALLY UP RESULTS OF PRE-QUIZ BEFORE CLASS AND POST-QUIZ AFTER CLASS:
To do an average of everyone, add up each percentage each person gets (50%, 70%, 100%, etc) and then divide that big number by how many people took the quiz:
Example: 3 people took the quiz; one person got a 60%, the second got a 70% and the third got a 80% so add 60+70+80 = 210, then do 210 / 3 people = 70% (THE CLASS AVERAGE WOULD BE 70%.
Have your helpers do this in your class for the Pre-Quiz they take at the beginning of the class AND at the Post-Quiz they do at the end of the class and your site leader will fax and save this piece of paper for Army of Saints records for future use.
Site Name and Location: _____________________________________________ Date:________________
Number of People: _________ Pre-Quiz Class Average: _________ Post-Quiz Class Average:_________
Class Discussion: Class 10-Divorce and How a Child is Affected
1) Have everyone in the room raise their hands if they know someone (including themselves) that is divorced. This shows the epidemic of divorce.
2) Ask people to volunteer things they did (or someone else they know did) during their divorce to their spouse that they regret.
3) Ask people to volunteer things they did (or someone else they know did) during their divorce to their spouse that they believe was very helpful to both them and their children.
4) Does anyone have experiences of people they know who got back together after divorce? What made that happen do they think?
5) For people that do know someone who is divorced, ask them to share how their children handled it. What age were the children?
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